01x03 - Peter Grill and Relationships with Elves

[bunniefuu]

Peter-kun...

At long last, I understand
where babies come from.

Luvellia-senpai...

I'm glad to hear you've finally
taken my explanation to heart.

Now, if we're to have a child...

Let us embark upon this journey together...

Peter-kun.

Luvellia-senpai...

You're dead meat...

A-A ghost...?!

The chance to be a hero is long gone...

Dug myself into a hole with no way out

Back against the wall...

I mean, how could I resist?

"This wasn't supposed to happen,"

I keep denying

I wish I could just disappear...

I wish I could just disappear...

I wish I could just disappear...

I can't stand myself

Moping around, spouting lies, grieving a broken heart

I hold on desperately to these feelings and shut my eyes

So why does this stupid guilt refuse to go away!?

So why does this stupid guilt refuse to go away!?

I suffocate under its weight

The chance to be a hero is long gone...

Always discouraged by my weaknesses,

I drop to my knees and grovel at your feet,

clinging selfishly to the hope for forgiveness

Dug myself into a hole with no way out...

Full of regret and powerless to change,

I feel my heart being torn apart

on this night of endless shame and despair

Why can't I get my act together?

Got nothing but this pathetic self of mine...

Wait... you're a thief, aren't you?!

Episode

Peter Grill and Relationships with Elves

Don't put up a fight, you b*stard!

C'mere! There's nowhere to run!

What are you doing, you cretin?!

Everything would be fine if you had stayed asleep!

Why, you...!

Good ol' Peter sure is rowdy tonight...

He drinkin' in his room or somethin'?

Yo, knock-knock!

What're you fussin' around
in the dark for...?

Huh?

A-A girl...?

Release me, you imbecile!

No need to worry!

I'll take this whole thing to the grave.

"Tim Robinson withdraws coolly."

N-No, this isn't what it looks like!

Wait a minute, Tim-kun!

Let me explain...!

Tim-kun...!

Cheatin' on her, eh?

The dude's got ba*ls of steel...

Given the situation, I suppose I'll have to do this the old-fashioned way...

My name is Vegan Eldoriel.

I have traveled here as the designated

goodwill ambassador from the land of my brethren.

Elf...

Demi-human...

Female...

Not sure why...

But I've got a very bad feeling about this...

Don't tell me she's got the same idea
as those crazy Ogre sisters...!

As for the reason I've traveled here today...

I have come to acquire the
nectar of your nethers!

God dammit!

At this point I'm afraid to ask...

But why me, exactly...?

A good question, indeed!

Why would us members of the proud Elven race

require the seed of an inferior Human such as yourself?

The answer, of course, is none other than to save
our beloved village from total annihilation!

A humiliating subject though it may be,

our nation has continually failed to yield sufficient
results at the Grand Fighting Tournament,

an event that celebrates combat prowess!

We're the object of ridicule amongst neighboring
countries who terrorize us with acts of aggression,

and our international reputation
is slowly deteriorating...

Despite taking various countermeasures,

Elves are a physically weak species.

History proves that we aren't
suited for military conquest.

Therein lies my role!

The Council has chosen to adopt a
resolution stating that we shall aim

to obtain an optimal genetic
specimen from an outside source!

And as the designated goodwill ambassador,

I have been tasked with the responsibility
of bringing back your juices!

Now, with that being said, Peter Grill...

Y-You are welcome to play with me...

As much as you'd like.

Why are these demi-human types completely
incapable of considering MY point of view?!

Is breeding the only thing they care about?!

Look, to be honest with you...

I don't necessarily mind being
approached by cute girls.

Of course not! I mean, who would?!

However...!

I'm sorry.

While I appreciate the offer,
I must respectfully decline!

What...?!

Impossible!

Are you saying a plebeian Human
like you would let the chance

to mate with a member of the
noble Elven race such as I go to waste?!

The superiority complex
is strong with this one...

Pretty typical comin' from an Elf...

Then I shall squeeze every
last drop out of you by force!

Not happening! Just take a look for yourself!

H-How dare you?!

It can't be...

Does my sublime body not arouse
that ugly meatstick of yours?!

How come?!

Why don't you have an erection?!

As long as my heart belongs to another,

the blood in my veins shall refrain
from flowing to my spongy tissues!

No way...

Impotent moron!

How am I supposed to fulfill my
duties as an ambassador now?!

In that case...

You've left me no choice but
to utilize my secret weapon!

Huh?

H-Hold on!

What are you doing?!

Go!

Wh-What's with this light...?!

A magic spell?!

The hell'd you do to my crotch?!

It's far too late for
apologies, you imbecile!

The curse I placed upon you is a powerful
type of forbidden sorcery

that's been carefully sealed
away in my homeland for generations!

F-Forbidden sorcery?!

Peter Grill.

Allow me to share with you a prediction:

Tomorrow night,
you shall appear before me and drop to your knees,

pleading for mercy in a pitiful voice!

"Please, I'll do anything for
you to sample my man goo!

I'm begging you, please let me bang you!"

That was oddly specific, don't you think?!

Until we meet again...

Fare thee well!

H-Hey, wait!

Well, the light died out...
My junk looks normal, too...

And besides, I've never heard of a spell used
to mess with a man's dangly bits...

That's just silly.

She's bluffing, that's all!

Now then, it's time to get
ready for today's hunt.

I'm itchin' for some action!

According to the villagers,
the creature supposedly emerges around dusk...

Isn't that right?

Lady Luvellia.

Nighttime is nearly upon us.

We'll be in grave danger should the sun set
before we're able to locate the creature's lair.

Perhaps we ought to wait for the
combat unit to arrive and try again–

What's wrong?!

L-Lady Luvellia!

The ground...!

Th-This is...!

Peter-san!

Terrible news!

It's Lady Luvellia...!

If you're looking for Senpai,

she should've already left for the hot
springs area as part of the vanguard.

I'm headed out now, myself.

I just received word from our messenger that
she's been ambushed by the creature...

Based on our intel, this is
the creature who attacked her:

The Great Worm Goblin!

Huh?

Oh, my mistake.

Here it is!

S-Seriously...?!

They say it wreaks havoc
across the village at sunset

devouring the men and defiling the women!

Luvellia-senpai...!

Oh, Senpai!

Accursed demon...!

Lady Luvellia, it's too risky!

I shall act as a shield.

Escape while the creature is distracted!

I am a knight...

I cannot in good conscience surrender now!

Let go, you fiend!

Lady Luvellia...!

It's no use...

We can't win!

Save me...

Save me...

Peter-kun!

It started out as a simple crush

Suddenly, you were my biggest source of strength

Till death do us part, let's grow old together

This is my sincerest wish:

Stay with me, stay with me

So long time, by my side for all eternity

Beaten down by our daily struggles

Or soaked by a storm of rage;

If you get drenched, I won't hesitate

To be the umbrella that shields you

It's not so cold... I'm by your side

That's good enough for me

You're my rock, my strength

That smile of yours puts my soul at ease

I could search the whole world over

And find no one like you

You're my rock, my strength

Just the sight of you fills my heart with joy

No matter how much it may hurt,

I pledge my life to protecting you

...

Dear Sir Peter Grill,

Rumor has it, you set out on a
dangerous hunting mission...

Betcha no monster can hold a candle
to the strongest warrior alive!

Episode

Peter Grill and Bathing Etiquette