10x01 - My Return

[bunniefuu]

g*nsh*t wound to the left side.

Seems to have missed the heart
but shredded the lungs.

Nurse: BP dropping.
He's hypoxic to 70.

Must have nicked a vessel.

Gotta find the bleeder.
Prep for a thoracotomy.

On my count. Three, two, one!

Order two units of O-neg.

Scalpel!

J.D.: A career in medicine
can take you down

many different paths.

Spreader!

If you're lucky, you end up
where you're supposed to be.

Found it! Clamp!

[ Flat line ]

Clamping.

[ Monitor beeping ]

BP rising. Great save, J.D.

Great. Let's get him
to the O.R., guys.

[ Triumphant music swells ]

[ All cheering ]

Stop it. Stop.

[ All chanting "Dorian!" ]

Stop it. You guys are crazy.
Stop it.

[ All chanting "Dorian!" ]

- Nurse: Dr. Dorian?
- Yeah.

Will you sign my tattoo?

Sure.

That was a good hair day.

Great job, man!

Glad you're feeling better.

[ All chanting "Dorian!" ]

[ All cheering ]

♪ I've had the time of my life ♪

Frank: Dr. Dorian? Dr. Dorian!

[ Record scratches ]
Do I need stitches?

Sure, being a concierge doctor

isn't nonstop excitement,

but I have more time
to see my kids...

No, Frank, for cuts this small,

we just use
a little dab of glue.

Fantastic job keeping
your food journal, Lisa.

I just didn't expect
to see the word "smashburger"

on every page.

It's really been
a full four hours?!

We got to get that thing
down, Reggie.

...and making house calls
for the upper crust

sure pays well.

I'm more concerned
with how it's leaning.

Yep. This was my life now.

That's why it felt so weird
to be back at Sacred Heart.

I live an hour away,
but one of my patients

collapsed at her grandson's
soccer tournament nearby

and got admitted, so here I am.

[ Excited chatter ]

Okay, listen up, people!
Listen up!

That means you, neck brace!

Some things never change.

This hospital is code black,
which means we are at capacity,

so unless you got
a baby's head peeking out

from between your legs,
do not ask me how much longer!

How much longer, mamacita?!

I will mess you up.

Oh, my God! Bambi!

What the hell?!

[ Both laughing ]

[ Gasps ] Does Turk
know you're here?

He has no idea.

♪

J.D. is here.

♪

[ Screeching ]

- Turk!
- J.D.!

[ Up-tempo banjo music plays ]

Comin' in hot!

Ready to receive!

♪

- [ Grunts ]
- Eagle!

Yee... Ohh!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
My back!

No, no. It's your sciatica.

Engage your core, C-Bear!

- No!
- Oh, I'm going down, bro!

Pull up! Pull up!
I'm going down.

[ Both scream ]

[ Both groaning ]

I think it might be time
to retire Eagle.

She's right, J.D.
It's time. Call it.

Okay. Time of death...

You know, I actually can't
see that without my glasses.

[ Groans ]

♪ I can't do this
all on my own ♪

♪ No, I know ♪

♪ I'm no Superman ♪

♪

♪ I'm no Superman ♪

So, now that you're in town,
should we go out to dinner?

Yes! Do you guys have
a place you usually go?

Buddy, we haven't
been out to dinner

since the Disney princesses
were white.

Besides, baby, I could
really use some man time.

Turk was surrounded
by female energy.

He had four daughters...
Izzie, Ellie, Sofia, and Nora.

Love you. Izzie, Beetle,
take care of Ella-Bella.

Daddy, why don't I
have a nickname?

Oh, you do, sweetness.
You're "the accident."

Carla: Turk!

Fine. Have your guys' night out.

Yes! I'll see you later?

- See you later, guys.
- Gimme some.

Ow.

Nostalgia washed over me.

The smell
of the bleached floors,

the blinding fluorescent lights,

the closet where Elliot and I
hid from our very first code.

That's where
our love story began.

- Do me right here.
- Okay.

See? Ugh!

- Ow!
- Holy crap! J.D.!

Good God!
You're like a blonde ninja!

What the frick?
Why are you here?

Oh, by the way,
our marriage didn't make it.

I have a patient.
I'll be gone soon, I promise.

Your promises mean
just about as much as...

♪

[ Both sigh ]

We agreed in couples counseling

that in order to have
a healthy post-divorce life,

we need to respect
each other's space.

I hate couples counseling.

Could you please
be mindful of your tone

to avoid negative patterns
from our marriage?

I love couples counseling!

Look, J.D., I've really been
working on myself, okay?

I have been lighting a candle
for every resentment

I had about our marriage

and floating them across
the pond at Winston Park.

I'm in a good place!
I don't want to backslide!

I can't just light
all those candles again!

It was really cold, and I got
a ticket for scaring the ducks!

[ Door opens, closes ]

There's my gal!

Oh, goodness. Johnathan.

They've got teenagers
working here.

Those are just interns,
Mrs. Brooks.

Okay. Your labs look fine.

I think you're just dehydrated.

Who admitted you?

I did.

Oh. Uh... can I ask why?

- No judgment.
- None taken.

I admitted her
because I'm a good doctor.

Oh. Dr... Park, is it?

When doctors fight
in front of a patient,

they always try
to make it sound friendly.

These labs are normal
for a woman of her age.

If it helps,
I could explain to you

what all these
fancy numbers mean.

It's so nice to meet...

an incredibly stupid person.

Her abdominal pain
suggests ischemic bowel.

No. All she needs is hydration
and emollient laxatives.

[ Elevator bell dings ]

And there he was,
the Chief of Medicine,

my mentor.

At least he couldn't
call me "Newbie" anymore.

What can I do
for you, there, Oldie?

Damn it.

Perry, Dr. Park
here needs to know

that my medical expertise
is on par with his.

Well, now, Dr. Park graduated
top of his class at Stanford,

whereas your current
claim to fame

is handing out erections like
tiny hot dogs at a bar mitzvah.

Well, run a blood gas on her
and see who's right.

[ Speaking Korean ]

- Hmm!
- [ Speaking Korean ]

Dr. Park is teaching me Korean.

Did I hear my name in there?

No. Walk with me.

I, uh, heard about the divorce.

Sorry about that. Also...

thankful I won $5
off of Mickhead.

- [ Chuckles ]
- I took the under.

Actually, it is good to see you.

I miss the days
when you were an intern.

Aww. You don't have to say that.

I knew it! He's about to
ask you to play golf

at his fancy private club.

Damn it! Why did you
only learn the mini kind?!

Get a load of this motley crew.

[ Whimsical music plays ]

♪

No. No, no. Sorry.

I am not sure
how to teach these kids.

I can't work them crazy hours
or even abuse them anymore.

And that's a bad thing?

Exactly! I wasn't sure
if you'd get that.

I am now supposed to watch

every word that comes
out of my mouth

because apparently
they are all fragile

little Christmas ornaments.

Case in point.

[ Whistles ] TikTok doc!

Oh. [ Chuckles ] Hey, Dr. Cox.

Tomorrow I am going to perform

a central line placement,
and it would just be fabulous

if you could come in early
and observe.

I'm good. I just
watched one on YouTube

like two days ago. It slapped.

Do you know Dr. Randy?
He's my favorite creator.

He breaks down procedures
while doing bedtime ASMR.

It'll give you
really graphic dreams.

I'll send it to you.
You're gonna die.

I will die if you send it to me

'cause then I'll just
have to m*rder you,

and with all these witnesses,
I think it's pretty safe

to assume they'll
give me the chair.

Dr. Cox, I'm gonna need you
to go ahead and...

...bring it down.

Work-life balance
is a core principle

of our wellness program.

Now, if you can't embrace that,

then you'll have to join me

at my sensitivity
training workshop.

Don't I get three strikes?

You have 900 strikes.

Mnh.

That woman's like
the damn feelings police.

Feelings police?

Ugh! Go change your shirt.

You look chubby in that.

♪ Feelings Police ♪

[ Tires screech, siren chirps ]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

- You know he's insecure about his body.
- Thank you!

He's just not ready to show
you his vulnerability yet.

Wow. You're really in touch
with male feelings.

How do you think
I became a feelings cop?

[ Moans ]

What the hell?!

[ Horn honks,
car alarm blaring ]

I could help so many people.

♪

Hey.

[ Dramatically ]
Good morning, sir.

Dr. Chapstick
is flirting with you?

I don't know. I'm never sure.

Last Thursday, he did tell me

that he thought
I had a cute burp.

Turk, thoughts?

Yeah, he totally wants
to get on that flat a*s.

Score!

I had planned to accidentally
burp near him again today,

but then J.D. threw me
off my game.

Oh, stop worrying about J.D.
Here.

[ Can opens ] Chug half of that

and go launch a cute burp
into that man's face.

Okay.

[ Gulping ]

- Hey, guys.
- [ Burps ] Frick!

I cannot believe
I wasted that on you!

- I actually miss those.
- Ooh.

Hey, by the way, if you
can get out of here early,

we can hit the happy hour that
has those awesome free wings.

Dashana, can you go see
if there's an open O.R.?

You know our diabetic guy,
Mr. Keefer?

Let's move his toe
amputation up to now!

On it, Dr. Turk!

I'll tell the patient
it's a "free wing" issue.

- Don't do that.
- Don't mention the wings, please.

- Don't... Don't do that.
- No, no.

Just one more test,

and if the results
are what I think they are,

I should be able to get you
out of here today, alright?

Oh, thank goodness.

Oldie, can you babysit these
for a minute, please?

I need to go count to ten.

This one asked
if he could shut his eyes

while I place a central line.

Admittedly, I do
still get a little woozy

around some procedures.

- All procedures.
- All procedures.

Mrs. Brooks: Ohh.

Okay, well, let's start
by introducing yourself.

This is Mrs. Brooks.

I'm Dr. Green.

I believe kindness
is the best medicine.

Actually, medicine
is the best medicine.

You're gonna get an arterial
blood gas on Mrs. Brooks.

He's gonna do it?

I'm gonna puke if I do it.

I don't want him puking on me.

If he pukes, I'll puke.

No one is puking!
Okay? You got this.

♪

Mnh-mnh. Mnh-mnh!

Oh, my God. This is humiliating.

Captain Bedside, face that way.

Yeah, I think that's
probably for the best.

Now, don't be overconfident.

Finding the radial artery
can be tricky.

I'm in.

Nice job, Blake. You made
that look handsome... easy.

Easy does it.

I got to admit, I miss teaching.

That's what this place
is all about.

- Dashana: Dr. Turk?
- Hm?

Maybe I could close?

No. Just watch.

Okay.

Damn, I wish this guy
would just die all at once

instead of in
tiny little pieces.

[ Monitor beeping ]

♪

I don't know how much
more I can take of this,

but I'm not gonna let him
crush my spirit.

We can't let
Dr. Bummer break us.

See? This is what
I really miss! The hot goss!

Who's Dr. Bummer?

I don't know, some other guy,

definitely not your best friend.

Turk's not a bummer.
He is the worst.

There's no way,
and if he's ever in a bad mood,

all you gotta do is go,
"Wazzzzzzup,"

and he'll die laughing,
I swear. Try it.

"Wazzup."

Go practice.

Carla, do you know
Turk's interns

call him "Dr. Bummer"?

Well, I mean, I'm sure you know

how dark Turk's been
at work lately.

Just nod like you do.

And he refuses to talk about it.

Y'all talking about Dr. Turk?

If so... prayers up.

Even Hooch knows?!

Is Hooch still crazy?
He's gotten worse.

- Doctor? There you go.
- Thanks.

Just what I wanted to see!

[ Fingers snap ]

Hey, C-Bear, I was
right about my patient.

Wanna come watch me rub it
in Dr. Cox's face

like the good old days?

You know I do.
Hey, but you know what?

You should chew
a big wad of gum.

You always look tough
when you chew gum.

I do look tough when I chew gum.

I hope they have Berry Blast.

♪

Excuse me. Doctor?

My wife's outside
in the car throwing up.

It might just be
the stomach flu, but...

Sir, you're gonna
have to go through the E.R.

I-If we go to the E.R.,

we're gonna be
crushed with bills.

I think we'll just wait in
the car in case it gets worse.

But could you just take
a quick look at her?

Look, man. [ Chuckles ]

You can't order healthcare
from your car, okay?

It's a hospital, not a Wendy's.

Sorry.

You didn't have to be so harsh.

If you want to go help him,
help him.

You're gonna get fired,
but I think we'll all live.

Let's go, Kim.

Uh, it's Sam.

[ Muffled ] A word, Perry?

Yeah, a word, Perry!

[ Muffled ] So it turns out
Mrs. Brooks' blood ga...

I can't understand
a word you're saying.

I know, 'cause this Hubbahas too much
Bubba. I can't control it.

The Berry's blasting
all over my mouth!

Give it to me. Go ahead.

Mrs. Brooks' blood gas
came back. She's not acidotic.

Dr. Park, you were wrong.
Your boy botched it.

While my boy here
needs the burn unit

because he's on fire.

You both owe me an apology.

I'd rather self-circumcise.

- Ah.
- Gum me.

You two idiots are perfect
for each other.

He's not wrong, by the way.

Our marriage would have lasted.

Yeah, it would have.
Let's get wings.

You look so tough right now.

That went so well with Dr. Cox,

I decided to press my luck.

What's been going on
with you, man?

I'm hearing
you're in a rough place.

Nah. That's nothing.

Your interns call you
"Dr. Bummer."

You know, I really don't want
to talk about it right now.

I just want to go out
and blow off some steam.

Actually, Turk,
just hold on one second.

- Oh, boy.
- Come on, man. What is up?

I'm burnt out!

Okay? My patient today
is a perfect example.

Once he heals,
he's gonna ignore my advice

and go right back to drinking
and eating garbage.

I'll keep removing body parts

until he eventually
dies on my table.

And his family will ask me,
"Why couldn't you do more?"

You know, back in the day
when you were here,

we could at least
get up on the roof and...

we could laugh the day off
with a couple of beers.

But we can't...

We can't do that anymore,
can we?

There's no joy. None.

Why haven't you told me this?

I could have been there for you.

I don't think you can relate

to what I'm going through
anyway. I mean...

You write scripts
in the suburbs.

I don't feel like going out
anymore. I'm gonna go home.

Turk!

Wazzzzzzup!

Not tonight, J.D.

Ooh! You okay?

- No.
- Good.

Did you at least
discharge my patient?

Dr. Cox wants me
to keep her for another night.

Toodles.

Are you kidding me?!

I was doing my best angry walk

because after Turk told me
he was going home last night,

I heard he went out
with someone else.

What the hell, man?!
You went out with The Todd?

I knew with you it'd be therapy.

I didn't want to go deep.

The Todd
really likes to go deep!

With consent five.

[ Smack! ] [ Fingers snap ]

Hey, Carla, if you were planning
on having sex with Turk tonight, don't!

He doesn't deserve it!

She's not!
Their sex night's Thursday!

- Stop telling everyone what to do!
- Elliot!

What? I didn't even mention that you
do it in the minivan 'cause of the kids.

[ Groans ] I'm sorry.

I've just been
a little bit tense

because someone decided
to keep J.D.'s patient

here a little bit longer.

Why is J.D. being here
so very hard on you?

Aren't you the one
who ended the marriage?

Where did you hear that?

Who can say?

- Carla!
- Barbie...

Carla and I have been
sharing secrets since before

you and your sorority sisters
were in Panama City

flashing the cameras
for "Girls Gone Wild."

I was told they
would be pixelated!

Elliot is in a lot
of pain, okay?

- Okay?
- Ah, yes.

In the history of relationships,

it has always been hardest
on the one who ends it.

I'm not being a jerk, am I?

Oh. Sweetie.

It's gonna be fine.

♪

The second I saw Dr. Cox,

I turned my angry walk
right back on.

Why is Mrs. Brooks still here?

Why do you have the physique
of a menopausal l*sbian?

Whoa! Too mean!

Not now, Oldie.

This is frustrating.

You gave me the impression

that you were able
to place a central line

since you learned from your...

Dr. Randy, was it?

Yeah, but he was really chill,

and you're giving
"mean football coach" vibes.

Miss Tosh...

And you'll notice I'm not
saying "Dr. Tosh"...

Sibby: Dr. Cox?

Ohh!

Thank you.

You know...

it used to be
"see one, do one, teach one."

Alas, now it is "see one,
see one, see one, see one,

see one more,
call your therapist,

talk about
how it felt to see one,

decide that seeing one
is just too triggering,

take a Xanax to calm down
and Adderall to lock in,

and... finally focus enough
to be able to write

about the whole ordeal
in your dream journal."

Of course, if your dream
is to be a mediocre doctor,

mission accomplished.

And, by all means,
hang on to the scrubs.

Maybe use them for Halloween,
'cause you're damn sure

not gonna be using them
around here much longer.

Okay. I'll see you Saturday.

Worth it.

♪ Feelings Police ♪

- What?
- Oh, it's this little song

I hear in my head
whenever I see you.

Oh. I love it.
♪ Feelings Police ♪

You got it.

Hey. You can do this.

Guide that finder needle
into the jugular.

She's gonna nick that artery.

No, she's not.
She's not nicking anything.

You got this, Sam.

Is it on my face?

No.

No, no, no.

Why don't you
go take a couple, okay?



Keep going.

And she did it.

[ Excited chatter ]

And only one person
wasn't psyched for her.

Hey, Blake?

Just a little advice.

You can't keep alienating
everyone, okay?

This job is really rough.
You're gonna need people.

Well, I'm not a kid like them,
so don't worry about me.

I'll be fine.

Not if nobody has your back.

Trust me.

Gotta go.

That's why I kept
your patient here.

I'm sorry. What?

To keep you here.

You needed a reminder
of how very good you are

at what you do.

Getting her
through that procedure,

that inspiring nonsense

you just said to that
gorgeous young man.

I can't do that.

I want you to come back.

Are you messing with me?

No.

Come back. Make a difference.

At least give it some thought.

Dr. Dorian. Can I talk to you?

I'm about to go into surgery.
What the hell are you guys doing?

All right, Dashana,
tell him what you told me.

Well, Dr. Turk, uh, the reason

I chose this hospital was
because of you, okay?

All I kept hearing was
how great Dr. Turk is.

You're, like, the only other
Black surgeon in this place, okay?

The rest of them just got, like,
Coldplay on loop in the O.R.

and say stuff like,
"Wow. You're so articulate."

I guess I just thought
you'd be my guy.

J.D.: Great job.

Now we leave so he can
feel horrible about himself.

No, Dashana, you stay.
You're gonna close.

Are you good with that?

Yeah, sure. Yeah. No problem.

Turk: Oh, and, Dashana?

This brother
likes Coldplay, too.

[ Coldplay's "Clocks" plays ]

♪

I had no idea what to do
about Dr. Cox's job offer,

so I decided to sleep on it.

Sometimes when
you feel a little lost,

the world gives you a sign.

It's just not always a good one.

What's the status?

She was found
unresponsive in her car.

Heart attack. We're trying.
But she's gone.

♪ You ♪

Why couldn't you have helped us?

♪ Are ♪

I had seen these moments
too many times.

He just said it was
a stomachache. I...

You can't get through them
on your own.

♪

This wasn't your fault.

Could have happened
to any one of us.

It would have taken me
one minute

to just walk out there
and check on her.

Now she's dead 'cause
I didn't walk outside.

I should have done something.

♪

♪ Home, home,
where I wanted to go ♪

And like that,
I knew what my decision was.

Hey.

What are you still doing here?

I thought you'd be
long gone by now.

I'll take the job.

Oh, I'm quite glad.

Perry, working alongside you

will be one of the great
honors of my life.

I should have been clear.

You're not going to
be working with me.

You're going to be me.

You're the new
Chief of Medicine.

What? [ Chuckling ] No.

I can't be you.

You're right.

Just be you.

This particular world
has passed me by.

You're the only one I trust
to do better and try harder.

Perry, I really don't think I...

J.D., those interns
need somebody

to do for them
what I did for you.

Okay?

Dr. Park really wanted this job.

And his hatred for you
is going to burn quite hot.

And that thought...

...will keep me warm at night.

I have never been a boss.

I've never even run
a lemonade stand.

But one thing's for sure.

I can't do this all on my own.

You know, I read in
The New York Times

that there's such
a male loneliness epidemic

that some guys are actually
calling their friends at night

to say good night.

That's crazy! [ Laughs ]

I know.

Do you think
it would be cool if...

Not a shot in the dark.

Yeah, I don't...
I don't want to do it, either.

Yeah.

Maybe once a week.

Wednesday it is!

[ Both laugh ]

♪