02x14 - No Shirt, No Clue, Big Problems

[bunniefuu]

Previously, on
"Below Deck Sailing Yacht"...

Strip me naked.

I've developed feelings for Alli
massively over these six weeks.

Huh?

You know, I thought it was
one kiss on the first night.

Now I feel like
the biggest as*h*le.

Being with Dani
is something special.

I'm definitely afraid
to fall in love.

Mm.

The group would like to have
a lunch picnic set up for them.

They would like to have a
women's empowerment dinner.

Tatas for Trump.

-Yeah!
-Woo!

Sydney, I wondered if you wanted
to write a song and sing it.

I grew up singing,
I'm classically trained.

I could play the guitar.

Well, we're happy
to help you write it.

How many courses have you got?

Three.

She said it was gonna be five.

Natasha has done this so much,

and it ----ing
is pissing me off,

because I get the brunt of it.

-I'm still hungry.
-I am, too.

I hate seeing everything
covered, and it's already sunny.

-Yeah.
-It's been sunny for 15 minutes.

The crew are not
on their A game,

especially after the crash.

-I'll take rosé, please.
-Where is the rosé?

-Dani?
-I found more rosé.

You shouldn't say
you found more,

because that acts
like we're surprised.

You should say, "I've got
more rosé coming in now."

How soon is that food ready?

Oh, my God, we're coming!

You guys got two minutes
to get in the tender.

I'm really starting
to lose my patience.

We're dropping
the ball way too much.

Dani, what are we...
we don't have any more rosé?

Very soon we'll have the rosé,
sorry about that.

Natasha, let's go, let's go.

-Got it?
-Do you need anything else?

-You pack utensils?
-No, well, I didn't.

Is Natasha coming?

Natasha, Natasha,
what's happening now?

-Copy.
-I'm coming!

I'm really frustrated
with the crew.

All right,
we're ready, where's Tasha?

We've got a charter and a half
to get through,

and we just seem to be
falling apart.

-Okay?
-Okay.

Okay.

Such ----ing bullsh--.

I might just go as fast
as I can

and try and get
the boat up on the beach.

Ramp it.

I didn't have any wine.

-Exactly, like...
-I don't have any wine either.

Okay.

I'm gonna lead the way
in our eating.

I look like I'm running around
trying to pick up the pieces.

Like, why are you asking me
for glasses

at two minutes to 3:00,
when lunch is at 3:00?

I just hate it because it
makes me look sh--.

Where the [bleep]
are we putting this?

-Oh, my God.
-Grr.

Some Caprese salad.

So, what we have here
is grilled chicken salad

with satay dressing and
sliced tomatoes and rocket.

Wow.

I'm ready to devour everything.

-Yum, try it.
-This is so yum.

-The beets are delicious.
-Yeah.

She really outdid herself.

-Holy hell.
-Yes, girl.

-How's it going there?
-Good.

Yeah? They seem happy?

-They seem...
-Well, I can see from the bow.

The guests seem
very happy, yeah.

Looks like a really nice setup.

-It's a great setup.
-Cool, I'm glad.

So, we're gonna do a validation
that starts our day off

in blessing and happiness
and gratitude.

I admire you in so many ways.

You're very honest...
to a fault.

Yes.

Okay. Good.

I hate this, it's so awkward.

It feels so wrong and weird.

I feel sad.

I just really admire
your independence

and your confidence and
your power to charm new people.

Thank you.

Erica, you just
create a presence

when you walk into a room.

When you're, like [bleep] it,
I don't care,

that's my favorite
version of you.

I have so much fun, I feel
like I don't laugh

as much with anyone besides you.

-Keeley.
-Yeah.

You take in people,
you make them feel welcome,

and you shine like a star.

I just think you're, like,
the cutest girl in the world.

Oh, my God,
we're having so much fun.

Mandolin, you have so much,
like, potential.

Thank you.

Would you mind going
to refresh the cabins,

starting with the master?

Oh!

Sorry.

We have the best chef ever.

Sydney, do you think
we'll head back soon?

Yeah, for sure, we're gonna
send you guys back to the yacht.

Because I'm inebriated.

Gary, Gary, Sydney.

You guys wanna come grab
the guests and Natasha,

and then Dani and I can
start breaking down?

Copy, yeah, JL's on his way.

[bleep] how long
were they there for?

I will see you guys
back on the yacht.

Okay, perfect.

I'm gonna bust my a*s
on these rocks!

I don't know why I'm doing
this in wedges... again.

Yeah!

This is why I don't day drink.

Let me tell you something.

Daisy, they're on
their way back.

Can you greet them there
and just say,

-"How was it," you know?
-Yeah, okay.

I chugged my wine,
don't even talk to me.

Shove it in there.

-Shove it in... ah!
-Ah!

Oh!

Can I jump out?

Wow, that's...

Don't ----ing compete
against me!

Come here, ya little shorty!
Come here!

How was the beach?

Good.

We're a little bit more
drunk than when we left.

-Oh, are you?
-She is!

Oh, that's good.

Look at us go.
You girls could work on deck.

No.

Yeah, of course.

Yeah, it's the women...
your women's dinner.

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

Okay.
Like, we would need cards.

Yeah [bleep].

-Yeah.
-Because, like, yeah.

But we're trying to do it
on the low-key, but yeah.

Oh.

For sure, yeah.

Aw!

We'll get up the anchor and
go sailing for an hour or two.

There we go.

Ooh, look at JL.
Boy, you use your muscles.

Oh, my God, Jess.

- I can't!
-Do you need help?

-Yes, I think I do.
----ing hell.

Ah!

-Okay.
-All right!

All right.

We fit all this sh--
in the tender.

I told you it fits.

Woo!

-We're back!
-There ya go.

Man, look at all
those goats, bro.

[bleats]

Colin, can you fire up?

Yeah, copy that.

Short stay, 10:00.

Stern door closed,
stern door closed.

What time would you like dinner?

Anchor is home, anchor is home.

Copy that, thanks, mate.

We might as well start
putting sails up, eh?

-Oh, you got that?
-Mm-hmm.

Okay, going up.

And...

Hold there.

Let's go, main.

Whoa!

We'll sail a little bit
fat until we get the gennie out,

and then we'll harden up.

Okay.

[laughing]

Okay, let's start veering away.

-You can start veering away.
-Roger.

Ah! Ah!

Ah [bleep]!

Help me, God!

I'm literally glued to the wall.

Ah... the whole ----ing
galley's falling apart.

What's up?

Oh, yes.

I can take care
of the crew dinner.

What, you think
we can cook like this?

I don't think
we can cook like this.

Seems a bit dangerous.

I'm so sick of cooking
while sailing.

[bleep]

Oh [bleep]!

I'm just, like, no.

You're pulling height
and you're doing seven.

-That's not bad, eh?
-Not bad at all.

I think you guys are having fun.

Are you guys in the room
so I could finish this call?

I'm trying to take
a ----ing call.

----ing rude.

I'm trying to work down there,
like, move.

We can't get in our room!

Guys!

So, this is sailing.

Does it usually stay to
one side or the other?

Always, normally.

Oh, okay.

Ow!

Get in there, girl,
show us what you got.

This is intense AF.

I feel like I'm defying gravity.

Oh, I know.

No, it wasn't me at all.

Who, us?

Yeah, I think
we're just having fun.

Are you finished prepping?

Okay, we need to come
a little bit to starboard,

so turn the wheel that way
a little bit, yeah.

Hi.

Let's enjoy your last evening.

-Yeah.
-Enjoy the sailing.

We have a feminism
empowerment party.

Exactly...

I will give it
my best effort, ladies.

There we go.

Coming up...

I'm so hungry!

Is there some dinner?

Not yet.

The galley really seems
to be falling apart.

We wanna eat!

Okay, coming down, both of them.

-I'll see you guys at dinner.
-I'll see you at dinner.

Bit more forward, Cap.

How's that?

Main up.

If mermaids could talk,
that's how they would sound.

That's exactly
what I was saying.

Hold.

I am starving,
I didn't even have lunch.

-Hi, Chef.
-Hey.

But I cannot finish cook
everything at the same time.

Natasha's not managing
her time properly.

I don't know what's going on,
but I'm happy to help.

I've got a bit of
free time right now,

so that's what needs to take
priority at this moment.

Mm, maybe a little bit.

[bleep]'s sakes.

What time are
you going on break?

I've had my break.

It seems like there's drama
between Gary and Alli...

Huh.

So, the table, yeah,
I've just thought of

an inspiring quote from,

like, eight different
empowering women.

Mm-hmm.

I'm just gonna put the quotes,
like, on each place.

I think that's enough, though.

That's enough, yeah.

I feel like women have
the tendency

to put other women down,
and I absolutely hate that.

I think I'd rather sit,
like, in-between,

like, you and Jennifer.

It's a problem.

Where's your tongs and stuff?

Ugh, we need to hurry up.

Colin, Colin, Glenn.

-Oh.
-Go ahead.

Hey, mate, if you wanna come,
we're gonna anchor soon.

[bleep].
Copy.

Alli, can you
get into your blacks

and help set dinner, please?

Copy that.

Oh, my God.

I feel really cool.

I want Jess to keep drinking.

Drop right now.

That's main engine off,
main engine off.

Copy.

That's a nice one.

Anne Frank's "How wonderful
it is that nobody needs to wait

a single moment before starting
to improve the world."

Yeah.

I really like them all.

They actually made me feel
kinda warm inside.

That never happens.

Is there some dinner for crew?

Not yet, we were sailing.

So, what's the...
what's the plan?

We have to cook,
I'm gonna go faster now.

Okay, cool.
Thanks.

I am so ----ed right now.

I'm just going to jump
in the ocean

and ----ing sink myself, ah!

I'm so hungry!

I need to eat,
I'm bigger than you.

Ugh.

The galley really seems to
be falling apart this charter.

And now I have hungry crew
and hungry guests.

It's a ----ing nightmare.

You angry at me?

No, I'm not angry, gimme fast.

-Who are you angry at?
-I can't waste time, Colin!

Who are you angry at?

That's good...
Keeley, what do you think?

I mean, I've been on the end.

Hi, girl, what are you doing?

Oh, we have places today.

Yeah, we're planning
our primary's dinner,

so you don't have
to be here right now.

I'm just having Keeley help,
because she's an event planner.

Wait, I'm...
Okay.

So you can wait,
because it's not ready yet.

Okay.

So, you can go wait with
Jennifer in there, okay? Thanks.

How can you talk about
a women's empowerment dinner

and then drag each
other down like this?

It's hard to watch.

I swear to God,
I've been dealing with this

since the first day I got here.

This is just ----ing unreal.

You're going home soon,

and you'll be able to be
in your safe space.

[bleep] me.

-I'm hungry.
-It's 8:30, we wanna eat!

Pasta, Glenn.

Pasta?
Thanks, mate.

[bleep], I'm ----ed.

Soon people are
ready to be seated.

I'm hungry, I--

Alli, will you gather
everyone soon?

Sure.

-Did you make this, dude?
-Tasha did, I just mixed it.

God, finally.

Dani, you can start turn-downs.

Yeah.

You guys all have
the same cards?

-Mine says...
-Oh, that's cool.

"Do what you feel in your heart
is right..."

It's women... it's women...
it's women stuff.

"...for you'll be criticized
anyway."

That's cool.

All the guests are at the table.

Oh, my gosh.

Bianca...

"Cheers to strong women,

may we be them, may we know
them, may we raise them."

-Yes, cheers!
-Cheers!

Cheers...
what a perfect cheer.

That was gorgeous.

Yeah, and that was perfect.
I love that!

How many minutes?

Oh, you ready?

Yeah, yeah, they're hungry.

Okay, Daisy, I'm ready for you.

[bleep] me.

Natasha, we really need to do
crew food earlier, because...

I could not do
crew food earlier.

Okay.

We were sailing, there is no
way I could have done it.

Finally!

Tonight you have a scampi
from Croatia cooked in...

and zucchini marinated in
olive oil, and enjoy.

Thank you!

-You're welcome.
-Yay!

I think we should just
eat it like this.

I know, I'm like, should
I just take it off...

We could.

-Mm!
-I could.

Today's the first day
I've had bread in, like, a year.

Wow, we should
celebrate that tonight.

That's such an
accomplishment, girl.

Let's celebrate
Bianca eating bread.

It really is,
to eat bread, wow.

You should have seen
how many times

they changed who's
sitting next to who.

Wow.

I don't even know what to do.

There's no sense of urgency.

That's bullsh-- not
putting in crew.

She's like,
"Oh, we were sailing."

You couldn't cook the pasta?

So ----ing pissed.

I'm just so ----ing over it.

I tried to let her
do her own thing,

and it's still not working.

I don't know how
to make this better,

because I'm either gonna
get screamed at by her,

or we're gonna get
another sh-- tip.

One more charter and
then you don't have

to worry about this
problem ever again.

Thank God.

Why are we getting crew food
at 8:30, during dinner service?

What was she doing
between 3:00 and 9:00?

Yeah.

I'm sorry,
I'm winding myself up.

You are, Daisy,
that's the problem.

I'm just...
I'm really...

but that really upset me.

I'm stressing out.

I'm fine, I just needed to vent.

I'm just gonna drink
my drink till I pass out.

That was incredibly good,
I have to be honest.

That sauce was amazing.

Yeah.

We should go all
the way through.

They're all...

they're, like, toasting to,
like, each other right now.

The starters are cleared.

Jennifer, medium-rare;
Bianca, Mandy...

Jennifer...

I just love that tonight
is just all about

celebrating each one of us.

Should I take two up behind you?

Yes, that would be great.

Cindi and Erica.

Ooh, here comes food, guys.

Thank you, good God.

Hey, girls.

So, you all have steak cooked
with apple poached in red wine,

with some cinnamon.

Thank you!

We have mashed potatoes
and zucchini.

-Mm!
-Yay!

-So, enjoy.
-It's so good, thank you.

We're all women who love to eat.

Anybody want mash?

Wow.

These mashed potatoes
are delicious.

Everything has been,
like, oh, my God.

Are we doing this?

Yeah, you wanna practice
in a minute?

----ing yeah, I don't wanna
go out there cold turkey.

I didn't think
my musical debut

would be about p*ssy power,
but I'm here for it.

Okay.

Are you okay?

Bianca, I feel like out
of respect,

unless we have to go
to the bathroom,

we think that we should all,
like, stay for the performance.

Yeah.

♪ Drinking rosé all day, ♪

♪ Making sure
they get their way ♪

♪ Making sure they
get their way ♪

One... that line
makes it really...

I think we can go with the
dessert whenever you're ready.

I wouldn't care if they
weren't, like,

trying to do a performance.

I just need
a little bit of time.

If you don't want to attend
the performance, that's fine.

No, no, no,
I'm gonna tell--

But I'm not gonna
hold them up over you.

Oh, okay, no problem.

-Yay!
-Woo!

Thank you.

Natasha this evening has
made you a yogurt cake

with caramel and cherry compote.

It's really good.
Yeah.

-Ooh!
-We're so excited!

So, Colin and I wrote
this song for you guys.

-Ah!
-It's about empowering women,

and how much we appreciate
all you guys.

Oh, my gosh!

And it's kind of
a little toast to y'all, so...

Yay!

-I hope you enjoy it.
-This is so cute.

[guitar plays]

♪ We're sailing on
Parsifal III ♪

♪ With our great... ♪

♪ And five of their closest
pals, all powerful gals ♪

♪ Drinking rosé all day ♪

Yes!

♪ Making sure they get
their way ♪

♪ Winning in every way ♪

♪ So here's to you,
my friends ♪

♪ We would like
to make a toast ♪

♪ It's been a blast
being your hosts ♪

♪ From the Parsifal g*ng ♪

♪ Let's end this
trip with a bang ♪

Yay!

Woo!

Yes, that's so cute!

-I'm almost crying.
-I know!

This charter has been
such a ----ing sh---show,

but I really appreciate
Sydney and Colin's song.

Thank God something's
going right today.

Woo!

All right, cheers!

Enjoy the rest of your evening.

Thank you!

That's gonna be a hit,
right there.

That's gonna be a hit.

p*ssy power!
Power to the puss!

Oh, I just wanna say
thank you both so much.

Honestly, that was
really, really good,

and I really appreciate it.

Hopefully they'll have
something else

to talk about for a few minutes.

Ew, who farted?

It honestly wasn't me.

-It wasn't me!
-Whoa!

Who was it?

-Oh, my God, it smells--
-It's a really bad one.

I ----ing hate
washing dishes.

She nailed us!

They totally did.

They did, they were like, oh!

We do like to get our way.

I know, and
we drink rosé all day.

-Yeah.
-We're a silly bunch of b*tches.

I can't believe
you're doing dishes.

Thanks.

Do you wanna go to bed?

Yeah, let's go.

I'm gonna get
a little bit more wine.

I don't often get
my heart broken,

because I don't like
dealing with it, I guess.

So, that's why I make
sure it never happens.

Hey, quit it, Gary, leave it.

I'm a bit heartbroken now,
I must say.

I'm more in a regretful mind.

I don't mean to ditch you,

but I'd better just
check on the guests.

Okay.

I mean, I didn't think
it was gonna go like this.

What's up?

So, I need...
can I have the lighter...

Your advice/opinion.

What the [bleep] is
going on on the boat?

Like, no sense of urgency.

Why were you making
crew lunch...

or crew dinner?

I mean, is it just me?

Wait, you've got a problem
with what I'm doing?

Mm-mmm, no, I think what
you're doing is amazing.

I just feel like everything's
so last-minute,

no prep is being done,
because we're sailing.

Like, she could have cooked.

Like, I've seen chefs cook
in way bigger heel.

Daisy and Natasha already
had a bit of a feud,

so that's just gonna end in,
like, some serious tension,

and that's gonna
affect the whole crew.

So, we have to get this sorted.

It's like the galley's just
this big ----ing joke.

I'm over it at this stage.

Coming up...

I mean, are things fine
with you and Gary, though?

No, I ended it last night.

Oh, did you?

Yeah.

I'm being spiteful
by hooking up with Sydney...

no other reason.

You're a ----ing idiot.

That evening sail kinda
----ed Natasha up.

Did you hear that Glenn had a
word with her tonight?

Oh, really?

Yeah, she wouldn't
even tell me much.

She just said Glenn said crew
dinner's not out, dah, dah, dah.

She was, like, spewing.

You know one thing
we could try...

me, you, Natasha,
and Gary could sit down

before the next
charter and

just try and have a,
like, little pep talk.

Yeah. I'm happy to do that.

I just wanna finish
this season on a high,

and I appreciate
you talking to me.

No worries, sorry I didn't have
any better advice for you.

No, that was
loads of good advice.

Do I have to?

Okay, I'll just
sit here all night.

Those mine or yours?

I don't know.

These must be mine,
because yours have,

like, five times
as much material.

I care a lot about JL,

but I'm worried that after
the season's ended he will be,

like, okay, maybe I'm not
ready to get married

and be with an older person.

But you see,
where is this gonna lead?

I just don't know what to do.

Night, night, night, love you.

Love you.

Morning.

Ugh!

Morning!

Of course.

Good morning.

Morning.

Would you like a coffee?

Could I get an iced one?

Yes, of course,
I'll get that for you.

I know.

Ah, drop-off day.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Morning, morning, morning.

Morning.

-How are you?
-I'm okay.

Everything all right?

All right.

Well, okay.

I'm over it.

Ah.

I understand where
you're coming from,

but I feel sh--
and I don't wanna feel sh--

There's honestly nothing
I can, like, do

in this situation,
I don't feel.

I'm not angry at you, I'm angry
at myself for doing what I did.

We've come to this point
because of his actions.

Good chat.

Now I need him to just
have enough respect

to keep his distance
and make this

as painless as we possibly can.

-So, you're packed, then?
-Ninety percent.

I have to just shower and...

Wow, I'm, like,
not packed at all.

At some point...

You took a shower?

I have...
yeah, I did this morning.

I gotta take another one.

-I did, too.
-Oh.

Am I gross that I didn't?

I mean, to each your own.

Mm, I'm over
this ----ing charter.

Nice ladies.

Did you ladies want
to start breakfast?

-Yes.
-You ready?

Yeah.

Are they're sitting down now?

-Yeah.
-Okay?

-Thank you.
-Okay?

Yeah.

-Good morning.
-Again.

So, this is bell pepper hummous.

-Morning, Cindi.
-Hi, good morning.

Good morning.

What do you got there,
what do you got?

-Babaganoush.
-I've never eaten that before.

Really?

You're so talented,
I love you.

I love you, too.

She's like, "Go away, please."

Okay.

Mm!

Well, who's getting
drunk tonight?

Not me.

Oh, liar!

Oh, yeah, that's fine.

Glenn, Glenn, Glenn, do you want
me to slowly start picking up?

Yeah, mate, copy that.

I'm gonna start
coming ahead slowly.

You guys can string
that tender.

Anchor is home,
anchor is home.

Copy that.

I don't know how I did it,

getting all this stuff
into those two bags.

Does my blanket fit?

The duvet?

Yeah.

What are you thinking about
after the season's done?

I mean, I can see
myself

starting a
relationship with her.

I'm pretty sure she's
at the point where

she's ready for kids and
to be married and stuff soon.

Yeah, and you're not
in that same boat.

I mean...

I mean, I'm not saying
I wouldn't mind.

Yeah.

I mean, I could, like,
get my mind around that

and prepare myself.

It feels really good,

this relationship that's
building up with Dani.

But I have this feeling

that she's holding back
because of my age.

I mean, just talk to her,
she's very open.

No, that's the thing,
is I wanna talk to her.

I get where she's coming from,
but Dani, baby girl,

I hope you brought
your hiking boots,

because you're fixing
to climb this mountain.

Let me tell you what.

But I'm enjoying
what we have right now, and...

Yeah.

-Okay, thank you!
-Thank you so much, girl.

I really appreciate it.

Did we wanna go in and out a few
times before we go in there?

Yeah, all right.

I can feel it right now.

Yeah, it's pulling us back.

-Mm-hmm.
-Yeah.

So, that's fine.

And then you can
kick ahead now?

Mm-hmm.

Our last docking,
it's in the back of my mind.

Slow down, slow down, slow down!

-Kick ahead, kick ahead!
-Ahead, ahead, ahead!

Ahead, ahead!

[bleep] me, g*dd*mn it!

[bleep]

-Oh, there we go.
-Yeah, that's forward.

-Takes a while, huh?
-Takes a while.

If we were to crash the
boat with guests on board,

on the embarrassment meter,

we're talking
a whole 'nother level.

All right.
Are you happy?

Yep.

Okay, here we go.

Colin, are you ready
to drop it?

Yep, standing by starboard.

Okay, let starboard go.

We've got a little
bit of breeze,

so let's get that starboard
spring on first.

Yeah, roger, standing by with
starboard spring, standing by.

Yeah, drop port,
drop port.

Straight up and down
on starboard anchor chain.

We are bouncing forward
at the moment.

JL, can I get you
on the stern, please, JL.

It seems like
we're bouncing forward again.

Okay, what do you need,
back a bit?

Yeah, a good two meters, Glenn.

Medium stay, medium stay.

We're getting blown down,
it's like 12 knots now.

so let's get the aft
spring on first.

Yeah, roger.

Drop port.

Straight up and down
on starboard anchor chain,

straight up and down.

Okay, you still want
two meters back?

Yeah, affirmative, it seems like
we're bouncing forward again.

JL, can I get you on
the stern, please, JL?

What do you need,
back a bit or no?

Yeah, a good two meters, Glenn,
to come astern, two meters.

How much load is on
that starboard chain?

Medium stay, medium stay.

He's giving you a kick, so
if you get slack, take up.

Our distance to the dock
is perfect, we're overhanging.

-How's that, all right?
-That's pretty good.

Nice work.
Well done, g*ng.

Let the boys carry
the heavy stuff,

'cause you don't wanna
hurt yourself.

I'm as strong as any
of the boys, Dani.

Is there a purse for me?

That's just for you.

JL, can you gimme
a hand with this one?

Yeah, yeah.

-I'm ready, girl.
-I'm ready to get outta here.

All crew, all crew, on the aft
deck for the guest departure.

Let's get everybody lined up.

Careful of this dock,
somebody hit it.

[laughing]

Here they come.

Thank you.
We had the most amazing trip.

Bye!

You're just fabulous, you gave
us some great eye-candy.

Such a pleasure having
you guys on board.

I was blown away.

You guys have exceeded
every expectation,

and Glenn, thank you
for sailing us away

from that storm and
keeping the seas calm.

My pleasure.

And putting up
with our craziness.

Thank you very much.

My husband this he
gives me first-class trip,

but uh-uh, you guys did.

So, this is for y'all.

-Yeah... oh, thank you.
-We are very grateful.

Thank you very much.

-Good luck.
-Thank you.

-Bye!
-Safe trip.

I'm done with mean girls.

I'm also ready for a drink.

Cushions,
cushion covers, tender,

and fenders, and then...
-Yeah, if we do...

That's us done.

I think I'm dead,
just buy my coffin.

[bleep]'s sake!

Oh, this ----ing sh--
stinks like makeup.

All crew, all crew,
can I get everybody

in the saloon together for
a tip meeting, thank you.

-Woo!
-Whoa, mazel tov.

-Champagne!
-Oh!

-Are we all here?
-Mm-hmm.

Just finished the penultimate
charter of the season.

One more to go.

You know, the guests left happy,

obviously, but I'm starting to
see a few cracks in the process.

Crew meals...

from now on, crew meals
are gonna have a set time.

Yeah.

And I understand it's difficult,

maybe, to prep while
we're sailing,

but try to factor that
into your workflow.

Okay.

Even worse than that, there
were a couple of situations

where they overheard people
speaking about them.

Oh, you reckon these girls
are gonna be a pain in the a*s?

Are you guys talking sh--
about us, yeah?

What?
Busted!

It'll probably be, like,
the fastest hour of my life,

because she'll probably
just chat the whole time.

Voices carry.

Be discreet.

We're all, you know,
towards the end of the season,

we're all getting
a little bit lax.

What do you guys
think about that?

This charter, we're all
a bit slower, a bit,

like, just not there.

A lot of people are
on holiday, I think.

I think that makes us
look really amateur.

That's the time not
to let your guard down.

That's the time
to bring it back up,

and that's what I'm hoping
to achieve.

Anyhow, you know, like I said,
they were really happy

with the charter,
and I think they've given us

a pretty good tip.

It's $18,450.

That's $2,050 each.

-I'm pretty happy with that.
-I'm very surprised by that.

-All right?
-Cool.

And tonight I've organized
a restaurant for you guys.

Enjoy yourselves.

I want you guys to come
back refreshed,

because the next charter
is our finale,

so let's really nail
our next one.

All right, there you go.

-Thanks.
-Yeah!

-Thank you.
-Champagne!

-Here you go, b*tch.
-Thank you, Daisy.

You see, all those
massages paid off.

Thank you.

-Charter six!
-Yeah!

Woo!

Girl, you need to shower,

because you're gonna
be late again,

and we are gonna be
waiting for you.

Baby, I love you.

I mean, are things fine
with you and Gary, though,

are you guys good?

-No.
-Oh sh--.

-Oh, did you?
-Yes.

Why?

Um, I didn't realize how
far things went with you two.

I thought that you guys
just kissed.

Well...

And I found out that it was
more than that,

and so I decided that it was
not the right thing to do.

It's not okay for any girl
to be treated that way.

Oh, yeah, I was,

like, wondering when
she was gonna find this out.

I just feel like...
I felt like I had...

no longer had a choice
in this situation,

Yeah, I mean, you always
have a choice.

I don't regret
hooking up with Gary.

I am who I am.

I will never apologize
for being who I am, ever.

It's like, you know,
all's fair in love and w*r.

Has no cleavage,
but it has bum.

I always wanna wear something
with cleavage.

Those boobs are expensive.

Oh, it's so pretty out!

If this dinner goes badly,
I'll be, like, blah!

I'm riding with all
my deck crew, that's cool.

So, I love this,
it's a girls' car.

-Yeah.
-I know!

I have a game we can play.

[bleep], marry, k*ll, but out
of the guests that we've had.

Ooh, I love it.

I would [bleep] Anthony.

He'd be the sh--est [bleep]
by the way.

Or, like ----ing you and
looking at his arms.

I would marry Matt.

He's a sweetheart, yeah.

-And k*ll?
-Barrie.

I think I need to teach her

how to make a ----ing
sandwich, you know?

----ing Barrie.

I'd marry Frank.
I thought he was a legend.

Yeah, that's a good one.

I would [bleep] Scott.

I wish I had a hair band.

Scott would be wild in bed.

-Yeah.
-And who would you k*ll?

Tatas for Trump.

I'm so excited to go into town.

To one restaurant.

Oh, we can get out, yay!

Thanks, Natasha, thank you.

I am ready for a shot.

-Good evening.
-Good evening.

Ooh!

My name is Harold and tonight
I will be your waiter.

-Thank you, sir.
-Yay!

Woo!

Cheers.

Do you ladies have
a lighter up there?

It's not mine, I don't know
where it came from.

That's mine!

-[bleep]
-There it is!

How did you get a back pillow?

It's the one from the chair.

Okay.

Get busy, yeah.

Of course.

Everyone's all those two, these
two, and we're pretty open.

We don't have to whisper
about anything.

No, I didn't shout my feelings.

Did you really?

Yeah.

I do like you as a person.

But I like you.

[bleep] off.

I think it'll be, like,
you know, like...

Like, flirting with Gary is
a little bit vindictive,

I won't lie.

I know she's looking, and
I know she's picking up on,

like, the flirtation.

I'm just, like, this is exactly
how I felt a week ago.

You're saying you did,
and I'm saying you didn't.

So, we're in
a predicament here.

So, we're in a predicament here.

Just one, just one, just one,

you don't have to give me
the whole basket.

I'm not gonna...

Are you trying to fatten me up?

I'm not gonna
manhandle your bread.

Of course you--

Flirting with Sydney is
just the worst idea,

because Alli is
not the type of person

that's gonna take that lightly.

Is that a metaphor
for something?

No! It's not.

But Gary's Gary, he's just
gonna continue to be himself,

and he's a bit of
a train wreck sometimes.

Exactly why I didn't wanna
----ing come to dinner.

I did my best, so
if it wasn't good enough,

like, try not
to hurt two people.

Okay, JL, let's do this.

I'm moving to America,
we're gonna get married,

and let's get engaged,
and let's have babies.

-All right, let's do this.
-Let's do this.

Are you ready?

I do want kids, so...
I guess so, I don't know.

Does anyone mind if me and Alli
go for a cigarette over there?

You guys may, please.

-Thank you.
-You're very welcome.

Should we take the ashtray?

-I feel we should.
-Yeah, probably.

I'll just waddle over.

Look at JL, he wants
to be a part of it.

Come on, then!

[bleep] yeah I'll sit down.

He's in love.

You're gonna break your
little boy's heart?

No, that's not true,
that's not true.

He's not even in love.

It's true!

Yeah, it is true.

This guy's ----ing
falling for you.

-Yeah.
-He's not.

Yes, he is.

We're just having...
we're just enjoying each other.

-Three tequila shots.
-Three tequilas?

-Ooh!
-With lime and salt.

-Salt.
-Yes.

I might be sick,
but [bleep] it, I...

I'm sober, and I'm bloated
like a fat whale, so I'm okay.

Thank you.

I think she's doing
it exactly, like...

-Provisionally.
-Yeah, exactly.

-Right, no, exactly, like...
-But him?

Yeah, he's falling in love.

Fine, I will ----ing have
this conversation again, then.

Is there something in there
or is it nice?

Oof, it's got salt in it.

That's delicious.

He salt...

he shook the salt and
the lime in the shot.

Yo, gossipy people,
meal is here!

Oh, thank you, we'll be
there in a second.

You're being rude now.

-Yeah, whatever.
-Smoke at the table!

Mm [bleep] that's nice!

That was cheap.

Ooh, this is good.

It's delicious.

Okay, listen, at
this stage in the game,

I want to see us
finish on a high.

Let's make it
a k*ller charter, please!

Last charter!

Yeah, come on!

-I'm with you.
-You wanna talk?

Yeah.

-Where are you guys going?
-We're gonna go [bleep].

-Okay, good for you.
-Ooh, in the fountain!

How are you?

I'm good.

I didn't come here
to find anything.

It found me, you know?

And I think that what me and you
have is something very special.

I mean, I can't help but say
that I do have feelings for you,

and my mindset is now ready
to actually really,

like, start spending
my time with one person.

-I like you.
-Yeah?

And I feel like the more I get
to know you, I like you more.

But I feel like this is
literally your best years,

and I think you will regret
wasting it at some point.

I get where her heart is, but
her taking away my twenties,

it's an excuse,
and she needs to get over it.

You know, at the end of the day,

if you have two people
who really care

about one another,
then they'll make it work.

I know that you're at a point
to where you're ready

to start settling
down with someone, and

possibly having a family.

I'm not saying
that I'm not ready for that,

because I think I am.

But I just won't
know till I

get into something
like that, you know?

Yeah.

I guess what I'm trying to say,

if you did wanna start
taking this somewhere,

I would be completely
open to that.

Thank you.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry, Colin,

because she's hurt me so badly,
like, playing with my feelings,

how much can I carry on
to make myself

look like a ----ing creep,
chasing a girl that I like

that doesn't want
anything to do with me?

All right, so what are
you gonna do about it?

I'm gonna b*mb
the other one.

I'm being spiteful
about hooking up with Sydney,

no other reason,
and that's d*ck of me.

But don't ----ing
play with my feelings.

Don't ----ing make me feel
like I'm an amazing person

in your life, and all of
a sudden I'm just a friend.

I know, like, talking to you
is, like, a couple of monkeys

on a seesaw, but dickhead,
if you like Alli,

don't [bleep] Sydney.

That's all I'm gonna say.

What the [bleep]?

Gary doesn't think
with his big head,

he thinks with his little head.

Well, I'm already gonna probably
[bleep] Sydney, so...

-You've already decided?
-Yeah.

Holy [bleep].

You're a ----ing idiot.

Oh, welcome back.

Oh, thank you very much.

That is so inappropriate.

Next, on
"Below Deck Sailing Yacht"...

-Stop!
-[bleep]

I don't see how this could
actually work.

I wanna have babies!

Let's have sex tonight, and if I
get pregnant, that's God's will.

Motor yacht Lady Michelle
has graciously paid

for a 24 charter...

-Oh!
-You're kidding me.

I don't want to serve my peers.

I'm sitting in a tub
with a pretty lady

that's got no top on.

She's sitting in there
topless with him.

Do I wanna [bleep]?

I'm ----ing pissed off.

I ----ing told you
that I like you,

and you're ----ing
sitting in the hot tub,

topless, with her.

----ing five minutes.
This is my moment to get angry.