03x01 - On ne peut plus rien dire

[bunniefuu]

...

-Oh! Are you already
there? You're in luck.

I wanted to recommend to
watch the series in original version.

Otherwise, how will you
know that I speak all languages?

-Are you
back from California?

-Yes, for good.

-Do you have a new MP?

-I have an interview with a very
competent French woman: Valentine Cantel.

-Do you have a CV?

Who did you work for?
-Michel Specklin.

-The
deputy is not here!

-The Germans
were aiming for the presidency!

Martin Kraft, the presidents'
chief of staff , is unhappy.

There is no better way to choose
the future President of Parliament.

-I've been waiting
for this moment so much!

*-Michel Specklin!

-You're bad at this job!
-I know!

*-You are with him.
-Herr Kraft?

-Michel, I missed you.

-I work with Valentine.

-The minister holds out to him
a position of secretary of state.

-Are we going to Paris?
-I love Parliament.

-I love being with you.

*-What is Europe?

*It's a promise:
that of a common future.

*From a community of
values ​​and objectives.

*And it is this ideal
that we find embodied

*in our draft regulation
for universal phone charger.

*After 10 years of consultation

*with all our partners,

*representatives of private
interests and citizen groups,

*we are ready

*to proceed to the next step.

*Some have accused
us of rasti... Of racial...

*Ah, to ratiocine. It can happen
when you don't write your speeches.

*The whole problem
is to have a ghostwriter

*classical literature: he uses unpronounceable words.

*So, "n*gg*r"... Not at all!
Nothing to see! No, wait!

*In French, it means someone
who writes your texts for you.

*It has
nothing to do with...

*It's like
"hit the little Jew".

-I'm not sure I understand
what the commissioner means.

-Okay...

OK...

I'm going...

I'll go.

-Am I going with you?

-No, don't worry! Don't be late
for your first day as a reporter.

-OK. Can I ask you something ?

I look like an alcoholic mom dropping you off at school?

-Not at all!

-Are you ashamed of me?
-Nonsense, of course not!

-Seriously?!
-[Don't shout!]

-Why?!
-[Shh!]

Hello!

Because you're English and
that's not really the case here.

-Oh...
-Yeah.

-I see.
-OK.

-Or else, I can take on

an Italian accent. Shall we do this?

-Come here so I can
kiss you, "mio amore"!

Come over here!
-OK.

Okay.

Okay, come on. Good
day. Good luck for your first...

-Thank you.

Mio amore!

Finish your
Tupperware of spaghetti!

-Okay.

Obviously:
with potatoes.

Okay.

-Please!
Please! Sir !

No! “Das ist ein” work of
art! What are you doing?

Your feet,

please! Feet, sir!

Martin!

It's the Germans!
They are all German!

All Germans!

-I'll take care
of it, don't worry.

-Martin!
-Konrad.

-Is everything okay?

-What are you doing here? I
haven't said anything to Michel yet!

You were supposed to come later.
-We've wasted enough time already.

Hesitant German.

This
pencil is not yours.

-It's okay.

It's good!

-Should I keep him?

He stays with you?

-Bertrand?
-What do we do with the terrace?

-The terrace...
Let's not waste this space.

We're going to cover
it to gain an extra coin.

-[Where is

he, [Michel?]

-It's not even


[Let me try
something.

[But they might
fall asleep.]

Ballad in German.

...

-[Come.]

...

Sorry.

...

-At least, they
know how to sing, these French people.

Test them and
keep the ones that work.

-Psst!

Nope.

The armchairs,
this is for spawners.

Freelancers are on the floor.
-OK. I just have to plug in...

-We'll have to wait.

Buy me a coffee and I'll explain

things to you that will
save you a lot of time.

A short press release, it's 70

euros gross, so spend less than 2 hours there.

For an analytical article,
you get between 200 and 220, max.

"Analytics",
it's with quotes.

Ask the Dutch for some, they

are mean but honest, not like the Flemings.

No, use the machine at the
entrance. More caffeine is better.

Maybe once a month, a
lobbyist will buy you a meal.

The Commission has a terrible
press room with no windows.

The best one is
at the Council, next to the bar.

-And for investigations?
-Investigative journalism?

We can't all spend a
week on just one subject.

It's a thing for boomers on permanent
contracts for real newspapers.

I'm going to be very clear: you're not

Bob Woodward nor Tintin
nor Anna Politkovskaïa.

See yourself
more as a delivery person

who makes 17 errands a day to pay off his bike.

It's "The Grapes
of Wrath", my hen.

-The election of the European director
of maritime security is approaching.

Isn’t that right,
Gilles? Pass that to me.

"Migouelle".

-"Miguel".
-Yes, of course.

Review the documents.

We must attack in squadrons. Giancarlo, your

MP would start with a
question on maritime safety.

There, the guy gives his speech.
Svetlana, your MP is complaining

on the lack of parity
among the candidates

that the Commission claimed. What do we say about it?

-It's my MP who asks the first question.

-No, mine.

-No, "chicos",
it's us. We said it.

-Friends!

It's okay!

We're going to play it as a team, eh, team spirit.

-"Team spirit"...

-Stop, “Migouelle”.

-"Miguel".
-Which MP asks the first question?

Okay.

Great. So all the MPs

interrupt and it's a huge mess.

-Don't
get angry, Samuel.

-It's "Samy", okay?

-Is that your real first name?
Is it written on your passport?

-Yes. It's
a real first name, in France.

-He doesn't
even have a real first name.

-Giancarlo,

does that make you laugh?

I help you,
I know the ropes!

-Samy...
-Gilles!

It's okay, how
are you?

Okay,
the phones there!

I'll confiscate them, otherwise!
-No te pongas nervi, Samy!

We don't need to ask
the first question. Team spirit.

We are a team.
-That's what I'm saying.

-Neither do we.

-OK. -And what I said about your first

name, I didn't mean it, eh. It was a joke.

-OK.
-And I love this name, Samy.

-Coffee,

Samy?

A pastry?

Or something else?
-No, thank you, it will be fine.

-I invite
you to eat. NOW.

-Oh yeah...
Valentine to the Commission...

This story is amazing. I
was talking about Agatha Christie...

-Maybe you can go see Valentine Cantel

to congratulate her. She is at the EP for a trilogue.

And you tell him that you dreamed of
working in a cabinet at the Commission.

-Me, at the Commission?

-With a little effort, you can do it.

-Of course I can do it!
But I am attached to Parliament.

What?
-Really?

-Well yes.
-Do you like your job?

You don't feel like a
monitor at a summer camp?

-Not at all!

-Samy, will you greet
Valentine for me? See you soon !

-See you soon.

-[She chairs the Left group.
She knows my first name!]

-[The power,
it's a shark environment.]

Power!

-Another coffee?
-If I take one,

this article will make me lose
money rather than making it.

-A tonic!

I'm going to resign for
good. I can't take it anymore!

All this shenanigans...

Do you know
what governs this city?

The money! Not
the citizens or even the laws!

Just
this f*cking money!

-Where do you work?
-To the European Commission.

And you?

-I am a journalist.

-That tells you,
to chat outside?

Just turn off your phone
and remove its battery.

-Hi, Valentine! How are you
? What are you doing here?

I am a political
advisor, now!

Hello.

I manage the group. It is...
Parliament, I've been around it.

And you, the Commission,
that must be amazing! I...

-Sir?
-Hello. I'm coming to see Mrs.

Cantel. -Are
you part of the meeting?

white]-No, but I
was his dircab.

white]His chief of staff.
-I'll see.

white]-Thank you. Are
you at the Commission now?

white]Me, I am a political advisor.
Thank you. Oh, you know..

.
-Hello. Did you ask to see the minister?

-Yes, I know her,
I was his director.

Direct sound...
-Ah yes.

I'll see if it's available.
-Thank you. I'm in a hurry.

-OK, I'll hurry.
-Yes.

He's ever
going to come back?

Well I'll let it go, then.
Too bad. THANKS.

...

Hello. I work there.

-Samy!
-Valentine!

Congratulations!

-Nothing is done.

You don't become a European
commissioner like that, Samy.

-Of course.

Besides...

-It's about to start.
-It was fun!

-An expert from
Parliament could help you.

-The PR reached an
agreement with the Chancellery.

-The
PR?

-The President
of the French Republic...

-The DPEs
manage the hearings.

-The
DPEs?

-Members of
the European Parliament.

-They will oppose the decisions
of the PR and the German chancellor.

-So what?
-In full mandate?

-And?
-In your opinion?

-You're not backing
the bun. Félix is ​​right:

it's a formality,
validation from Parliament.

So... it would be even
more humiliating to screw up, right?

What
do you suggest?

-I can organize meetings...
-He wants to set up meetings for me.

-A
meeting. Great.

-Well, yes.
-Wouldn't you rather

to get my hands on the questions
that the EPP will ask me in hearing?

-The EPP?
-Yes.

-[I don't
work for the EPP.]

-This shouldn't be a problem.
You know the system, right?

-Yes.
-I'm counting on you.

-So...

That's the first point that...
-Let's do it like this, then.

-Can you leave us?
-Yes.

Okay. See
you soon then. Hi.

-This directive was decided to

penalize those who violate
climate objectives.

No one enforces it.

German industrialists
put pressure on

my commissioner and the subject is slowly buried.

Which is ill*gal.

-The German commissioner?
-No, they're more subtle than that.

They use the
Austrian representation to act.

-Would you
be willing to testify?

-I have 2 kids and a loan.
-I can't publish hearsay.

-I can't do
better, I risk a lot.

But all it takes
is a leak by a

mysterious anonymous source to obtain proof.

But be careful:
they will come after you.

-Michel, get out! Let's talk!
-There's nothing to discuss!

-It's going to be okay!
We're going to free them, the Germans!

Okay...

We will share the office with
them, and it's going to be fun!

-Michel, the mandate of the

President of
Parliament lasts only 2

and a half years!
Political groups

pass the baton to preserve
peace in the institution!

-This is to preserve
peace in the institution.

-So you must now leave
room for the conservatives.

They waited.
It's their turn!

-To conservatives,
too? They're the worst!

-Well yes!
Conservatives are the worst.

-I've gotten used to this position.

There is a good working

atmosphere!
And we won't work together anymore, Martin?

I'm going to miss you.

-Michel, we have to go.
You're going to miss the aperitif now.

Approximate German.

-Okay, I'm going out.
But I am very unhappy.

-Are you Gesine's assistant?
My name is Samy Kantor.

Are you...

...

-Guten Tag!

Zeyneb, right?

Are you Gesine's
new assistant?

I am Samy,
political advisor.

-Hello.

-Welcome
to this European family.

If you need advice,
you can contact me.

-That's very nice.
Everything is so complicated here!

-You'll get used to it.
You just need patience.

Do you have the questions that the
EPP intends to ask the commissioner?

-Yes.
-Can I borrow them from you?

-I thought
this was confidential.

-It will stay in the group,
this is for preparing notes...

Don't you trust me? Too bad. -No, I want to avoid

trouble from day 1. -Don't worry, you won't get in trouble.

-OK.
-Great!

-I'll write my number

on it, just in case.

-Ah? OK, agreed.

-There you go.
-Great.

-Here, Samy!

What are you doing here?
-He wanted the list of questions.

-What?! I...
-That's espionage!

-No, I came to say hello!
-The minister is not playing the game?

We won't do it either!

She will never be
elected commissioner!

-No, I...

-Goodbye.

-Aside from the conspiracy bullshit,
this is a clean analytical article.

You should be able to sell it
to Euractiv or Agence Europe.

-No, it's a scoop!
-The Commission website talks about it.

-So why
isn't it filtering?

-This site is really messed up.
It's only Fernando who consults him.

-Why did he make
like it was top secret?

-Who?

-A Swede who says he
works for the Commission.

-Erik? He always tries to
convince young journalists

to write an article about his whims.
He's a pain in the

a*s of a civil servant who wants
to be noticed by his superiors.

-Ah, Martin!

I'm going to the strategy
meeting with the rest of the team.

-What meeting?

No one
told me anything.

I have commitments, I...
-Are you taking the afternoon off?

Very good.

I understand.

-Hello.
-Hello.

Hi!
-Hello!

-Was your day?
-Um... yeah.

What if we avoided talking about work?
-Yes, that's a good idea.

-Um...

-I'm looking for something to say...
-Me too, I have no idea.

OK, we'll see later.
-Ah, wait...

Yes, Valentine?

Yes, I have the questions there.
Yes, I assure you, as usual.