05x05 - 143 Meltdowns And A Wedding

[bunniefuu]

[Pørni] Okay. Shall we get started?

[Hanna] Is the officiant
just standing in there?

Shouldn't it be adorned
with some flowers, or...

[Pørni] It will be adorned on Saturday.
They'll wilt if we do it now.

And Astrid isn't an officiant, actually.
Although she is a celebrant.

-Do I have to sing? I sound rubbish.
-Your voice is perfect.

It's really very important
for Granddad that you do this, okay?

Dad, are you ready?

There's no point in rehearsing
when Stephen isn't here.

It's good for the kids
to have a run-through of it, okay?

Is it too late to confirm
Amund won't be coming?

-Why isn't he?
-I, uh... dumped him.

We argued yesterday.

He says I'm too busy
with the team and Girls 16.

Okay. Let's talk about it some more,
but let's just try this now.

Leo, can you start playing?

-[Leo] Now?
-[Pørni] Mm-hmm.

-[Leo] Okay.
-[Hanna clears throat]

[playing "Make You Feel My Love"]

[both] ♪ When the rain is blowing
In your face ♪

♪ And the whole world is on your case ♪

♪ I could offer you a warm embrace ♪

♪ To make you feel my love ♪

♪ When the evening shadows... ♪

[Stephen] Sorry I'm late.
It was the catering people.

They'd mislaid the information
on the allergies.

You won't be late on Saturday, I hope.

I'd like to avoid standing
up here all alone.

From Saturday, you shan't stand alone
a single second the rest of your life.

-This will be wonderful, guys. Okay.
-[chuckles]

Uh, Stephen, you'll be standing here.

Uh, you'll stand here.

-I'll read out what I have to read.
-Aye, aye.

-[Pørni] Could we try it one time?
-Let's do it. Absolutely.

I am so nervous. I don't know why.

Of course, the good thing is
that the tuxedo almost fits now.

[Pørni] Don't be nervous, Dad.
Everyone's going to cry.

I am so lucky.

You promise me this.

If you ever get as lucky as I have,

do as the badger does
and bite down hard on the leg.

Hold on, and never let go, do you hear me?

-It's a myth, that badger thing.
-No, no, no. It's a fact.

So... bite so hard that you hear a crunch.

-Okay.
-[chuckles]

-Leo! Will you start again?
-[Leo] Yep.

[piano tune resumes]

PERNILLE

[Sigrid and Hanna] ♪ When the rain
Is blowing in your face ♪

-♪ And the whole world is on your case ♪
-Yes. Perfect. Yeah.

Okay. Good.

[Sigrid and Hanna] ♪ I could offer you
A warm embrace... ♪

...clear and concise might say that's
because he's wrote it all in caps lock.

-But seriously, is there anything that...
-[chatter fades]

[Hanna and Sigrid]
♪ When the evening shadows ♪

♪ And the stars appear ♪

♪ And there's no one there
To dry your tears ♪

-♪ I could hold you for a million years ♪
-[gentle tune cuts out]

Hi.

-You busy?
-Not really.

I wanted to, um... know if you'd finished
that... report on the cheese puffs case?

The tribunal needs it ASAP.

Ah, I was just sat here using my work time
to write the speech for my dad.

-Ah.
-But I'll finish that report before lunch.

How is it? The... speech, I meant.

[inhales sharply] It's not my speciality.

I'm no good at it.
It's full of bad jokes, and it's overdone.

Hey, if you finish the report now,

I can maybe try
and help you finish writing it... say one...

one evening... like... tomorrow?

Would you, really?

But tomorrow
I'm at the emergency services.

Friday? The day before the wedding.
Is that okay?

If you could, it would really save me.

Of course. Writing a speech is fun.

[both chuckle]

-Cool. Then we'll, um... "speech" later.
-[Pørni] Yeah. Oh, yeah.

-[both laugh]
-Uh, yes. I'm gonna be in here. Okay.

Lunch?

Uh, I have to write a report
on that cheese puffs case.

I can see what you're up to.

Which is?

I try not to meddle
in other people's private lives,

but I have to take a stand
on this whole Bjørnar-gate thing.

It's actually painful now, Pørni.
Embarrassing too.

Two adults, carrying on like this.

Excuse me? What Bjørnar-gate?
Have you lost it?

Really, now? You suck.

We're working to help children here.

And the kids need you focused.

Get back with him.
Get over him. I don't care. Whatever!

Okay. Any more to add here?

No. Oh, I do.
We have a home visit later on.

I assume you remember
with all your private chaos.

-And we're having lamb stew for lunch.
-That stew sucks.

No, you suck.

[typing]

[distant sirens wailing]

Honey? I've got my night shift,
so lights off.

I'm watching some saves
by Bruce Grobbelaar.

Legend alarm, huh? How are you, my love?

-Are you hurting about Amund?
-Erm...

How can you be positive
if someone is "the one"?

-Oh, you're asking me?
-Yes.

[sighs] I think it's good to make
a few mistakes when you're young.

That's not what I'm asking.

I mean, how do you know
that you're with the right person?

I don't think I should have
any opinions on who you're seeing.

I'll always be there for you, 'kay?

Oh my God, can you actually answer
what I'm asking?

Okay.

I think that if...

[sighs] I don't think you question
it if it's right.

That's all there is. You don't wonder.

Did you question if Dad would be the one?

Mm, yeah. A little.

So why start a family?

'Cause I didn't know then what I do now.

I think l thought
that it was supposed to be difficult

and you were supposed to wonder.

I wonder about Amund.

Not every day, but every other day.

Maybe we shouldn't have split up.

You have to make
that decision yourself, honey.

I'll always be on your side.

And did you ever meet someone
and not wonder?

Yeah, once. But I ruined it.
Or we did. Or he did. Or I did. [chuckles]

-Kenneth?
-Nah.

He was really lovely, but... I wondered.

You have to make it better if you mess up.

-You say that to me.
-Yeah.

But there are times when it's too late.

I'm off to work now.

Hanna's in the lounge
if you need anything.

-I love you.
-Erm, Mum.

I hope you get back together
with the guy you don't wonder about.

I know that I've been a little childish
when you were seeing guys,

but that's over.

I want you to be happy with someone.

I love you too.

[soft, tender music playing]

[Hanna laughing]

Yeah, but I don't think
my teacher really likes me,

'cause she's always
complaining about, like...

[Pørni chuckles softly]

[Hanna] I always have this look
when she mentions blood,

'cause I'm not
kind of a blood doctor, you know.

I don't want to be a surgeon or anything.
I guess, but...

FAVOURITES
MUNICIPALITY-BJØRNAR

[Hanna giggles]

No. No, I definitely do not.

It would be good for your girls, you know,
if you came home from that cabin.

They're quite scared
right now of their father,

and he can't take care
of them at the moment.

[woman sighs] We're doing community work
here at the estate tomorrow,

so I don't think
I can get away from doing that.

No, but for them,
it would really help if you came home now.

Okay, I've had two glasses of wine,

and a taxi from Norefjell
costs several thousand kroner,

so I don't think it's reasonable at all,
I'm afraid.

Okay. What happens now is that, uh,

the police will give your husband
a restraining order from the property,

and your daughters
will sleep at your neighbour's,

so I'll need to get your consent
for it, okay?

Oh, yeah. They know Anne-Mette
and Bendik very well.

That's great. You'll hear from us. Bye.

[man] Do you want Daddy
to be there all alone?

-Is that what you want?
-[Elin] Kåre?

-[Kåre] Is that what you want?
-Did you breathalyse him?

One point eight.

[Elin] The best thing for your kids now,
Kåre, is that they go with Anne-Mette,

and then the adults
can have a conversation, okay?

[slurring] Yeah, but what the hell
is going on here now?

-[Pørni] Kåre?
-You... have just come in here...

In the middle of the night in full uniform
and scared the life out of my daughters!

-Kåre, now...
-[Kåre] My girls!

Kåre, it is you
who's scaring them right now.

I haven't scared anyone.

They're the ones
coming in here, scaring them.

-Look at them!
-[Pørni] Calm down.

-[Kåre] I'm calm.
-Be calm.

-Yeah. I am.
-[Pørni] Good.

[officer] Come on, sit down.

It's up to me when I sit down.

-Don't tell me what to do.
-You guys go on ahead.

And we'll be there soon.

-[officer] Sit down.
-[Kåre] You...

You can't boss me around.
I'm the one who lives here.

Sit down on the sofa.

-Ugh.
-What did the mum say?

Mum won't come home.
She's doing community work away.

-She said it's too much for a taxi.
-[Elin] Yeah. Mm.

Hey, I think we'll... we'll go over there.

There's no point talking to him.

[officer] He will get a restraining order
from the address,

so you can notify the family's neighbours

But we'll take him with us.

-All right?
-Great. Yep.

[officer] Right, you need
to leave with us now.

[Kåre] f*cking get out of here!

[door closes heavily]

[Pørni] We agreed with your mum
it would be fun

for you to stay over at Bendik
and Anna-Mette's tonight,

seeing as you know them.

And you could sleep in Kaja's room.
She's away studying, isn't she?

Can we watch The Simpsons?

[chuckles] It's a bit late,
but I can read for you, okay?

Maybe Anne-Mette can make
some warm milk and cocoa?

-Yeah. Come on.
-[girl] Yeah!

Bendik's a bit worried
in case Kåre shows up at the door later.

No, that won't happen.
He's got a restraining order.

And the police will take him
in to sober up at the station.

-Don't worry.
-The girls are very happy here, I see.

Yeah, they've stayed here quite a bit, so...

You'll get a call
from our colleagues tomorrow.

They'll speak with the mother
and girls, if you're happy.

-[Pørni] Mm.
-Yeah, of course. Um...

I think maybe I should go and sleep
in the same room as them,

in case they can't settle
or have a nightmare.

Yeah. We'll see ourselves out.

[phone chimes]

-Oh wow. They're so nice.
-There's good people too.

So now, the girl
who ran away from the care home

has been spotted in the centre.

-Shall we go down there?
-[Pørni] Mm-hmm.

-[energetic, rhythmic music playing]
-[Pørni] Come on. Pick up.

-[panting, sighs]
-[line ringing]

[Pørni] Hi. Uh...

We were talking with her,

but then she disappeared
in Christian Krohgs Street,

so now she's headed...

I think she's going to Central Station,
so keep an eye out for her.

-Okay, bye.
-She was too fast.

Oh! So, running after kids
isn't really your forte.

No, sorry.

I'm not a good runner. That was outreach.
They're at Oslo Central, looking for her.

I hope they manage to talk to her.

-Okay.
-[phone rings]

[sighs] Linda. Hi.

Yeah, okay. We'll come back.

Not exactly quiet, is it?

-How old are your kids?
-Oh, 11 and 13.

[gentle music playing]

[Anne] ...leaving a message,
because I won't listen.

I'll call you back as soon as I can.

Saturday's the big day,
and I'm speaking at it.

Wish it was you.
You're the speaker out of us two.

My God, Dad is in a state.
So madly in love and very cute, though.

And Sigrid had questions on how you know
if the one you're with is right.

But it's so easy, I think.

You don't wonder.

I didn't wonder about Bjørnar,
for example.

Even when he was an idiot

and... I was angry and mad
at him a lot, but... I didn't wonder.

[chuckles] And who am I
to answer such a question, huh?

I sit here,
third year in a row, bending your ear.

[sighs] Love ya, Anne.

FAVORITES
ANNE - MUNICIPALITY-BJØRNAR

[sombre music playing]

[Pørni] All good, Dad?
Did that rehearsal calm you down?

Yes, it's all crystal clear.

-You'll get me when it's all ready.
-Mm-hmm.

There are nerves,
but that's about the entrance music.

I get a bit stressed
with technical things.

Don't get stressed, Dad,
'cause Leo has it all under control.

And he's sorted out the songs for you,
and it's all okay.

All right.

Uh, we can't have two guests
with hearing problems...

No, no, no, no, no, no! Wait there!
No, no, no! You can't come in here now!

You have to promise me.

You know you're not allowed to see it,
Stephen, before the big day.

I didn't see anything.
I swear. Don't worry.

Oh, Charlie, are you in control
of the water glasses?

Hey, Mum can't sit next to Knut
because he can't hear well either.

We'll just swap him over, then.

-Yeah, so we'll put him...
-Don't worry.

Isn't his tux exactly like mine?

Yeah, but I don't think we should try
to bring that up in front of him.

Don't touch the glass.
Take it by the stem!

-How do you say "Bridezilla" in Dutch?
-Uh, I believe it's "Bridezilla" too.

-Uh-huh.
-[all laugh]

-[Pørni] And "neurotic granddad?"
-[Anna] He's lost it.

He really has lost it now.

[Stephen] Hanna, the cake,
on the corner, here.

So you can hold it down a little
so that people can see it,

and then, Baldwin's knife.

We need it,
and then you'll move slowly through here.

Make sure you don't trip.

What do you think about if we have
someone to catalogue the gifts,

so that we know who gave what?

-I can help you with that.
-That sounds good.

Where's Granddad?

There was some double-booking
at the hotel in Liverpool,

so he's having a total meltdown.

-Stephen's with him.
-Meltdown? I can't take that now.

I'm sorry, but my speech
needs a lot more work,

so are things here under control?

Yeah, yeah, just go.
Anna has it under control.

Yes. I'm sorry. [sighs]

Breathe, breathe. It's all right.

-What is it?
-[Stephen] Huh?

He's a little stressed
out about the Liverpool trip

'cause he booked the wrong hotel dates.

I wanted you to have a gift...
without you having to... organise anything.

And for you to have...
a trip as a manifestation of...

how much I love you and the children.

What about me? [chuckles]

Yeah, and you too, of course.

But, Dad, we all know
just how much you love us.

And the thought was there.

And I would like it if you just focus on
your wedding with Stephen

and you both enjoy it.

Can you send me the email
about the Liverpool trip,

and I'll sort it out?

Thank you, my love. Thank you.

I need to get off home.
My speech needs more work on it.

-[Stephen] Yeah. Sure.
-But just send me that email.

"Cheers to love. Cheers to you, Dad.
Ole Johan, we love you."

-Hmm.
-Do you think it's too pompous overall?

No, I don't think it is.

Um... Do you need to mention all that
about your mother, do you? Do you think?

Oh, you don't like that part?
My dad's had a long life before Stephen.

Ah, yeah, I'm with you.

You can say about how he ended up alone
with you girls and things, uh...

But you say so much
about your mother and his first marriage.

It's a tribute to your father
and his life with Stephen now.

We don't need to hear
his entire backstory in this.

-Scrap all that, then.
-Mm.

Are you cold?
Shall we go in? I can give you my jacket.

No, we're in here.

-I like it better here.
-You know what?

I'd like to hear a psychologist's analysis
of your car fetish.

I can tell you why.

I like it because I feel safe here,

and I can drive away if a
mass m*rder*r is coming.

-Hmm.
-What else?

I'd say it's really great.

You just need to trim down
on the historical context,

Professor Pernille Middelthon.

-[chuckles] Yeah.
-Another one of those?

-No.
-No.

It doesn't need to be so long. You know?

Er, it isn't so much
about how much you say.

It's what you say.

Just leave this now. Screw it.

Let's try another one.

You're giving a good friend
a speech for their birthday. Go.

Dear Bjørnar.
Congratulations on your fortieth.

-You are 40, right?
-I'm 40, yeah.

-[chuckles] Okay.
-Yeah.

Um... we met first at a conference
about violence in relationships.

[Bjørnar] Mm.

And then we got into a relationship,
minus the violence.

-Good one.
-[both chuckle]

Um... however, we've become friends,
colleagues, and you are my manager.

And you are so amusing and fun.
You're clever.

I feel like I always have
a new perspective when I talk to you.

Also, I feel like I become
a better version... of myself...

when we're together.

Uh, I smile when you come into a room...
and I'm sad when you go out of it.

You are the person
that I always want to be... around.

What the f*ck?
I just made that absolutely embarrassing.

Huh?

-I'm sorry.
-No.

No, no, that was a great speech
that you made there.

-No fat to trim...
-I didn't make it up.

I just said what I felt about you, and... I...

Nothing wrong with that.
An honest speech is a good speech.

Jesus, I feel so stupid, I...

can quit and start working full-time
at the emergency services.

No... Wait... Why do you feel stupid?
Don't go.

Shall I come to the wedding?

No, you have to come tomorrow

because my dad gets so worried
about people not turning up,

that's the last thing I need.

[Hanna] How long you gonna be in there?
I need to brush my teeth.

I'm just sitting here.
Come in if you want to.

Oh, by the way, Peter took care of
that hotel stuff, so 1,000 points to him,

and I wanted to say that he booked a table
at that Indian restaurant in Liverpool.

Leo did a playlist for tomorrow,

so there'll be
"Dancing on the Ceiling," guaranteed.

Uh, um, he's aware of the high average age
of the guests, isn't he?

Yeah, he's got "Who Let the Dogs Out"

and "Bombadilla Life"
and all kinds of things.

You should talk to Sigrid.
She's really sad.

Why?

Uh, Amund sent her a crazy,
Andrew Tate-like message or something.

Oh, honey.

Hi sweetie. Are you all right?

Hanna said that Amund upset you?

Are you meditating there?

I'm picturing the save Gordon Banks
did against Brazil in 1970.

I suppose I won't wonder now.

He's not the right person if he's sending
horrible messages like that.

That was a good life hack,
about not wondering.

I look up to you.

To me? Don't look up to me.

I do. You are really smart.

I did wonder. Again and again.

Just remember... you can be angry
and irritated and down

and really sick of who you're seeing,
even if you don't wonder.

Yeah, but... it's not good to wonder.

Promise that... if you find someone
you don't wonder about, you'll jump in.

Have no fear. It's easy to say.

But don't be me. Be Granddad.

Okay.

[gentle piano music playing]

[pleasant guitar tune playing]

Here comes the bubbly.
I'm getting four glasses.

-[exclaims]
-[group laughs]

[indistinct, excited chatter]

[laughing]

Done. Now, you're shining
and twinkling, you little diamond.

-That's great. You got all the last hairs.
-Mm-hmm.

Okay. Take a look.

[clears throat]

[exhales]

-You look lovely, don't you think?
-It hardly fits.

If I drink one glass of water,
all the buttons are gonna pop out.

-[chuckles]
-Don't be a fool. You look perfect.

Okay then, I'll get you when it's time.
Need any water? Coffee?

Hm, no, no.

I had a glass of juice
from Elisabeth, so I'll...

I'd best sit here now,
to avoid creasing my suit.

Okay. Did you sleep at all last night?

Not much. We sat talking about
how from tonight,

we'll always go to bed together.

That is romantic.
You'll never go to bed alone again.

And you're next, after me.

Go and talk to the guests. Hmm?

You know, at weddings,
a lot of people meet their partners.

I know what you're up to there.

Bjørnar's here
with the mother of his twins,

and it looks like they're working it out,
so it's a little late.

Ah.

Ah, but I've never seen you
so happy as you were with Bjørnar.

But if you don't want
to try and fight for him...

just go out there anyway.

Open yourself up to life. Mm?

-[chuckles]
-Maybe this is where it'll happen.

Except that the average age
at this ceremony is around 73.

Yeah, all right,
not here, but... go out and live.

Live your life.

I wanted to say that...

You really are the world's best father.
I'm so proud of you.

Yeah. Of course you are.

All of you are, aren't you?

I am "boss" after all.

But put that in your... toast later on.

I'll get you in ten minutes.

Hey... I'm proud of you, you know.

I couldn't wish for a... a better daughter.

[tender music playing]

[exhales deeply]

[sighs]

[children chatting and laughing]

[pleasant guitar tune continues]

[Pørni] Oh my, you look lovely.

-How's it going? Is he all right in there?
-Oh yeah, perfect.

-Are you nervous?
-Stephen?

No, I feel so... bubbly.

-You have a moment?
-Yes. Just a minute.

Okay.

-[Bjørnar] Wow, that'll be great.
-The whole family's coming.

-[Bjørnar] Really?
-[Hanna] Yeah. It'll be cool.

-[Bjørnar] Sure.
-Hi.

Did you and Mai-Lis
get something to drink?

Oh, so, Hanna just told me

that there's a group honeymoon
to Liverpool in a few weeks.

-I have to say, I am really envious.
-Mm.

Uh, do you have any lip gloss I can use?
When are we singing?

No, you have time for lip gloss.
Just be quick, okay?

Thank you.

Hey, so, Mai-Lis didn't come after all.

I thought you two could... sit with, um...

Madjid and his new girlfriend,

so you don't have to sit
by a load of 80-year-olds.

Yeah, hey. Wait, wait, wait.

Don't feel awkward about last night.
Honestly.

I was really happy
to hear those things. Really.

I'm going to... I'll quit on Monday
so it won't be so weird, if you get me.

-This place looks so nice.
-Hey, I know, right?

Let me introduce Madelen.

-Hi!
-Hi. Thanks for having me here.

So nice. Madjid has talked
so much about you.

Uh, right, then. If the girls are ready,
then we can... make a start now?

Yeah, okay. Let's go, then. Ready?

[laughs joyfully]

[Pørni] We're about to get started,
everyone.

Find your seats. We're nearly ready.

[Kjetil] Come on, play the ball. Get...

-Get it away.
-[Hanna] Mum?

-Here you are.
-Yeah.

-It's singing time.
-Yeah, yeah.

-[Kjetil] Get it away.
-Kjetil, it's about to start.

Yeah, I was putting the gift down
on the table, and then what happened is

Spurs are leading, and they're
in extra time.

I'll be there now.

Get it away, you idiot!

It's time. Come on.

Are you ready, then?

Er, Dad?

Dad?

[Pørni breathing shakily]

Dad?

Wake up...

Kjetil. Kjetil! [echoing]

-[shouting inaudibly]
-[background sounds distort, fade]

[solemn music playing]

It's okay.

Thank you, Kjetil.

-I'm so sorry, Pørni. I couldn't...
-You did all you could.

Thank you.

Oh.

[sobbing quietly]

[breathing shakily]

[Pørni sobbing]

[sad, gentle music playing]

[whimpering softly]

[gasping, panting softly]

[sombre string music continues]