03x12 - Human Resources

[bunniefuu]

[moaning]

[gasping]

- [unearthly tone]
- [Ras] What is that?

Or... who is that?

- [playing unearthly tone]
- [Arin] Kur?

I thought Thunderfang
ate all the Forbidden Five, or something.

Are we sure he didn't?

Kur looks... not amazing.

They're back!

[Sora] "They"?

[spectral shrieking]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[screaming]

[spectral shrieking]

It's an attack!

By what?

I don't see anything!

I told you, they're invisible!

We must push them back somehow!

[grunting with effort]

Kind of hard to smack someone in the face

when you can't see their face!

[grunting with effort]

[spectral shrieking]

This is just like last night!

I've never seen anything like this before.

Pun not intended!
Now is not the time for jokes!

Wait! I have seen
something like this before!

They're Dragonians?

Invisible Dragonians?

They look like the Soul Suckers

from the Spectral Lands!

[crowd screaming]

[playing unearthly tone]

They're draining their lives
into that weird instrument!

[panicked screaming]

When I say "duck," duck!

My blade's made of Prismatic Steel!

It should stop them!

[Sora] Arin?

When for the ducking?

[spectral shrieking]

Now!

Oh, that's bad!

Not only did my blade not destroy them,

these things can break prismatic steel!

♪ Lost in the unknown ♪

♪ Together we will rise ♪

♪ We fight ♪

♪ Be a ninja for what's right ♪

[thunderclap]

[uplifting music playing]

[Jay] When we get there,
let me do all the talking.

I don't need so-called Ninja
ruining my flow.

- Ah!
- Whoa!

[yelping and groaning]

Did we hit something?

- [groaning] No...
- [cackling]

- Whoa!
- [yelping]

...just Wyldfyre's driving.

Weren't you supposed to
practice flying this thing

before we left?

Aw, me, me, me, me!

Weren't you supposed
to not be so judgy about my driving?

I'm the captain now!

My ship, my rules!

[all groaning]

[Nya] Can you just
keep your eyes on the... sky?

Okay! How about
your face to the sky?

[groaning]

[whistling nonchalantly]

I've been to the Administration before.

Fine by me if you want to do
all the talking, Jay.

They'll probably fine me
for not having a talking permit.

How did you ending up
working there, anyway?

It's a long story...

Or a short story. Who knows?

I have zero memory of anything
before the Merge!

We've told you
what your life was like before the Merge.

Yeah.
So did the Administration.

So did Ras.

I now know not to believe any of you.

But I do know this--

My first memories,

I found myself alone
in the Land of Madness.

Didn't even know my name.

Then I spotted some nice young people

in business suits,

and I just had a feeling
I could trust them.

Because they were wearing suits?

Yeah!

So I went up to them,

and it turns out they were looking for me.

They told me my name was Jay Walker,

and that I was
an Agent of the Administration,

just like them.

How'd they know your name?

How does the Administration know anything?

They said I'd worked there my whole life,

and had to get back to my job

managing the Realm Reassignment Office.

And you just... believed them?

Suits, greenie.

Suits.

Turns out I was a natural,

so it made sense that's who I really was.

[Nya] So these Suits claimed to know you?

Their boss did.

Apparently the Administrator
sent them a message

to go and get me.

[yelping]

Who's the Administrator?

No clue.
No one I talked to

had ever actually seen him,

or her, or them, or it?

Sounds creepy.

So, what did you actually do there?

[Jay, exasperatedly]
Ugh! Realm Reassignment!

You know this!

People they'd find
in empty space bubbles after the Merge.

My job was to send them back

to wherever I thought they came from.

[Lloyd] Where you thought they came from?

You, who has no memory
of anything or anywhere

from before the Merge?

Aah!

I was working with
the best information I could get,

and sure, there might have been
a few mix-ups,

but there's no proof of that,
and if there was proof,

it would have been shredded and/or burned.

Aah!

"Just a few mix-ups"?

You're famously terrible
at guessing games.

- Hey!
- No lie.

You tank every Charades team

you've ever been on.

You expect me to believe

I ever played Charades?

I don't even know what Charades is!

Yet you remember Arin's parents?

Of course. Jenny and Barry.

I had to enter reassignment logs
every night in triplicate,

then in the weekly reports,
then the monthly reports,

plus corporate memos.

So that's how you know where they are now?

Yeah, where I sent them.

The Land of Lee.

[Wyldfyre] Then why aren't we
flying straight there

instead of wasting our time
at the Administration?

[all yelping] Whoa!

- Aah!
- Whoa!

[grunting]

You can get to the location

by air or boat,

but the only way to get
into the real Land of Lee

is through the Realm Reassignment Area.

It won't make any sense

until you experience it for yourselves.

[shuddering] Oh...
sounds dangerous.

Now I'm excited.

And we can trust you?

You did shatter your goodness.

You have no reason to trust me,

but you don't have a choice, do you?

H'yah!

Sold!

Let's go!

[yelping]

But... what's with the cake?

Let's just hope we don't have to use it.

[tense music playing]

- Whoa!
- [yelping]

[spectral shrieking]

[shrieking]

This is not our battle!

These people need our help!

The Pontifex Magicus has been hollowed,

and is of no use to me anymore.

[Sora] We're not leaving!

[spectral shrieking]

[shrieking]

[Arin] Duck!

H'yah!

[gasping]

Can't say I'm into fighting
with a stubby blade.

Where's the other half?

What, you have some glue?

[gasping]

Can you light this up?

A brighter color?

I think that might be
a bit gaudy for the--

No, illuminate it!

Oh, light it up.

Why didn't you say so?

Could you use a coconut?

No! I need light!

Just asking.

Some people like coconuts.

I guess not you.

[spectral shrieking]

[Sora] Wow.

There are way more
of these things than I realized.

[Arin] Come on! This way!

[Ras] We must leave!

The only reason we came here
was to find the Underworld.

Oh, the Underworld.
I know exactly where that is.

Well, not exactly, but I know
exactly where my map is,

and that would tell me exactly.

[Ras] Where?

[screaming]

Ninja! Protect this woman!

She can help us on our quest.

[Sorceress]
I can take care of myself!

Anchors away!

[yelping and wailing]

[groaning]

Everyone alive?

Not sure.

I've never seen the Administration

from the outside.

It's so...

boring.

[Nya]
I'm looking directly at it

and already forgot everything about it.

So, how are we sneaking in?

Air vent? Basement?

Blast a giant hole? Please?

My instinct is a full attack,

swords slicing,

taking out any and every Agent

that dares stand up to us.

Show them what true power is...

[chuckling]

...but there's too many of them,

and that plan could fail.

And that's not how Ninja handle things.

You really did shatter
your goodness, didn't you?

It's cute you think
I had goodness to shatter.

Nope, straight-on attack won't work,

so I got something better.

Suits, am I right?

Now, watch this.

[beeping]

- Halt!
- Allen! Underwood!

What's shakin'?

A little informal

for a morning greeting,

but it is casual Friday,

so I'll allow it.

Returning from sabbatical,
Agent Jay Walker?

Yep, and since today

is "Bring your Ninja Warrior
Friends To Work Day,"

I have companions.

Heading to Guest Services
to fill out their paperwork

and get temporary badges.

Hmm... "Bring Your Ninja
Warrior Friends To Work Day"

was last week.

[charging weapons]

[Nya] That escalated quickly.

Uh, we must've just got
the B-Y-N... W-F...

T-W day wrong?

That's not your most egregious offense,

Agent Walker,

you have long been on our most wanted list

for abandoning your post!

[spectral shrieking]

[blasting]

[spectral shrieking]

Yaah!

[shrieking]

[shrieking]

Whoa!

[grunting]

[shrieking]

I'm okay!

Yuck!

We must leave!

It's the only way to keep you truly safe!

Forget it, kitten!

I'm going to protect this village

with my last puff of magic, if I must!

[shrieking]

[gasps]

[playing unearthly tone]

[spectral shrieking]

[playing unearthly tone]

[Arin] What's happening?

[Sora] It's morning.

They must not be able to stand the sun!

[Arin] I don't understand.

It's like the Spectral Lands
spread into this town,

but only have power at night.

Can these people be cured?

Do we need to hunt down Kur
and return their life-forces?

[Ras] Forget them.

Our goal is to forge Source Dragon Icons,

and because of your choices, we failed.

Hey, that's not our fault.

[Ras] It is your fault.

Yours and the Sorceress' selfishness.

Without her help,

we are forced to find
another way to the Underworld!

If that's even possible.

Cole and Zane said

she lives in the Monastery
that appeared here.

Maybe if we take her back home,

we can help her get less...
hollowed out,

and find her map to the Underworld.

Sora, that's a great idea!

[Ras growling]

Let us find this Monastery.

[Lloyd] I can't believe
you got us stuck in here.

What kind of plan was that?

This is just like you.

You always had the weirdest, worst ideas,

but usually they were charming somehow.

This one is just plain stupid.

[Jay] Trust me.

Everything is going exactly as planned.

Don't see how that's possible.

I knew the moment we entered
the building, alarms would go off,

'cause I left the company,
which no one ever does.

Then we'd get sent here,

deep into the inner workings,

exactly where we need to be.

In a cell with no escape?

Yeah! It's perfect,

'cause now the Administration thinks

they have us under their control.

Now all we have to do is escape.

Hey!

Agent Etha!

Yes, I'm talking to you!

I know you don't get
much company in here...

[chuckling]

So, Agent Underwood told me

you were really into
Merlopian Dance Rituals and Celebrations!

Any interest in telling us
more about that?

I've been waiting for someone
to ask me that my whole life!

Dance ethnography

is a really fascinating subject...

...and they showered them
with exotic flowers...

...the town would elect
a sacrifice, and...

...the lights would fade up,

and the lead dancer would descend

with a fan and a lantern...

[whispering]
...and the magical eel...

[giggling excitedly]

Y-- You sure I'm not boring you?

Anyway, the audience
threw gummy candy on the stage!

Shall I demonstrate?

Ha! [giggling]

Ta-da!

[whispering] Eat the candy...

That was informative, Etha,

and, uh, doesn't their sacred winter dance

involve a blindfold?

I can't believe you know that!

And I just so happen to have
my dance blindfold with me

for exactly this potential scenario!

[singing] ♪ Hey-ya ♪

♪ Ya-ya-ya-ya ♪

[snorting and vocalizing]

♪ H'yah-ya-ya ♪

I trust you're still there
and enjoying this silently!

She's a fantastic dancer!

[Jay] Be right back.
I need something from the locker room.

What could you need from a locker room?

It's where Agent Leopold
keeps his gym shorts.

I'm going to need more information.

He never washes them.

[groaning and gagging] Oh!

Oh, man!

[gagging] Yuck!

[pneumatic tube hissing]

[sniffing]

Ugh! What is that?

[groaning]

That smells like Agent Leopold!

[gasping for air]

[groaning and gagging]

Call the Detox Crew!

[all groaning]

[humming Agent Etha's dance music]

Ooh, I should learn Merlopian dances!

[alert blaring]

It wasn't me.

Why did you come along?

All you do is mess things up!

You can't drive right,

you dance into alarms, you--

[gasping] More Ninja?

When it's not "Bring your Ninja
Warrior Friends To Work Day"?

Those are the same Ninja!

And Jay Walker!

They flew the coop!

[weapons charging]

Curse you, Agent Etha!

[coughing]

[gagging] Oh, the stench!

It's... [gagging]
...in my lungs!

[moaning and mumbling]

[Arin] I think the Sorceress
is coming too.

- She sees her home!
- [mumbling]

[Sora] Maybe it'll get better inside?

[alert tone chiming]

[Ras grumbles]

Some kind of security.
It shouldn't be a probl--

- [grunting]
- Ha-ha-ha!

- Oof!
- Ha-ha! Oof!

[groaning]

I hope you enjoy my traps!

That's what you get
for trying to break in,

whoever you are.

Predictable as always, Janet!

Who's Janet?

[yelping and wailing]

[grunting and struggling]

[Jay] We're almost to Realm Reassignment!

We'll be safe as soon as--

[weapons charging]

Was this part of the plan?

[sighing] I didn't want
to have to do this.

Green guy...

Cake me.

Everybody!

We've got an office birthday today,

and you've all got to sign this card!

Ooh, a birthday!

- Leave some space for me!
- Who didn't sign? Did you sign?

[Nya] Hey, we need plates!
And napkins!

Who's got plates and napkins?

Forks? Are there forks?

Whose birthday is it? Carl's?

No, he just had his birthday!

[agents clamoring]

Come on, we need new clothes
from Lost and Found!

[Ras grumbles]

Do something!
Use your Elemental Powers!

[grunting]
There's no tech in this monastery!

[Sorceress mumbling]

Wait a minute...

[Sorceress protesting]

What are you doing?

Casting a spell!

You don't know any spells!

Nope, but maybe we'll hit on something.

[coughing]

[wheezing] Not that.

Feels like we're getting closer?

I'm not sure that's true.

[Sorceress mumbling]

This is getting us nowhere!

No, but maybe these
could get us somewhere.

We can hold onto these fish

and pull ourselves out!

[grunting]

This now tops

my "Weirdest Things I've Ever Done" list.

[Ras grunting]

[grunting with effort]

Aah!

Oof!

A-ha!

[Ras] The Underworld.

[grunting awkwardly]

Why?

Told you, the Land of Lee is weird,

and you definitely can't parade in there

dressed like a Ninja.

[typing rapidly]

Ha-ha! Still got it.

Oh, one more thing.
For some reason,

everyone who got lost in the space bubbles

were mostly a pair,

like, siblings, couples, whatever.

We need fake stories like that.

If we're going undercover,

Wyldfyre, you and I
are brother and sister...

Barf.

...and Jay and Nya
are married.

Gross, but okay.

[typing rapidly]

Everybody ready?

[portal powering up]

[banging on door]

There they are!

[blasting]

Let's shut down the system!

No!

H'yah!

[sparking]

Aah!

Wyldfyre!

Yaah! [groaning]

Leave her!
The portal's closing!

You might have shattered
your goodness, but we didn't!

- Yaah!
- [Wyldfyre groans]

Yaah!
Hi-yaah!

Aah!

[grunting] They've escaped!

[munching]

I forgot how much I love custard.

[power switching off]

[gas hissing]

What is this, now?

Appears... [shivering]

...and feels unauthorized.

Hope she'll be okay.

We're gonna have to come back

and try to save her and that town.

What is he doing?

I have no idea.

Yes, Master, it will be done.

Oh, h-- hey, Ras.

The, uh, Sorceress is settled in.

As safe as can be, I guess.

I do not care about her well-being.

She has served her purpose.

Now... to the Underworld.

[tense music playing]