02x04 - Community

[bunniefuu]

-BROOKE: No... You're from the...
-Wow, no.

...the work ethic original.
-Yes.

-SHERYL: Know how to show up.
-Yes.

-BROOKE: Yeah, you show up.
-OG!

-Come on now!
-ROBIN: Come on!

-[CHUCKLES]
-Eight times a week.

-OD! Original Dreamgirl!
-[ROBIN CHUCKLES]

-Yes!
-[WOMEN CHEER]

-[THEME SONG PLAYING]
-SINGER: Yeah, we're turning

Yeah, we're turning

Yeah, we're turning

[SINGER SCATTING]

ROBIN: You know,
something really special happens

when women connect, share, dream,
and inspire each other.

This is Turning the Tables.

[THEME SONG CONCLUDES]

-Let’s see, where shall we start?
-BROOKE: Hmm.

ROBIN: Who is the talk of the town
right now?

-[LAUGHS]
-I don't know but it's loud.

-It's a loud talk.
-Isn't it, Marsai?

-Isn't it?
-Yes, yes.

And everyone feels
that you should get a second Emmy

-for the best acceptance speech.
-Acceptance speech ever!

-ROBIN: Ever!
-[LAUGHS]

I was standing up
the whole time, like, "Yes!"

-"Yes! Yes!"
-SHERYL: Thank you. Thank you.

-MARSAI: So good.
-I just got chills.

I was literally there to be supportive.
And when I heard

"Sheryl Lee," I lost it!

Everything in my mind was just gone.

But I do remember standing there,

holding the Emmy, and I was like, "Wow."

-This is that moment.
-Yeah.

This is that moment,
that you dream about, that you hear about.

But thank God you were able to have

the moment, the wherewithal
to get centered and be present.

What's interesting about you saying
that is in the moment...

-Mm-hmm.
-...when I'm standing there, center stage,

there is a huge sign in front of me.

It's red. And it's saying, "Stop now."

-Stop talking! [CHUCKLES]
-SHERYL: Stop now.

-ROBIN: No!
-And my whole career

flashed in front of me,
hearing how hard it was gonna be,

the industry is not ready,
they're not looking for you

as a young Black female.
And at that moment,

and I saw that sign and I just said,

"I am not stopping now!"

-[LAUGHS]
-MARSAI: Yeah.

And I'm gonna tell you what it takes
to hold fast to your dreams

and know that whatever your dream is,
if you put in the work,

if you encourage yourself
through good and bad times,

good things do happen
'cause this is what believing looks like.

-Oh! Oh, my goodness.
-Mm-hmm.

And supporting, like you said before,
you know, "other people."

-That’s right.
-You were there to actually be here

-for other people.
-For other people.

-MARSAI: Yeah.
-BROOKE: And mean it.

When your folks...
You were living in Texas...

-MARSAI: Yes.
-...moved to California,

been very close
with them all this time, just talk,

what does community mean to you?

Community means to me, um...

I always color it
in different layers, right?

Um, I feel like there's
your outer community,

which is people that love you from afar,
love you through the Internet.

And then it just gets tighter
and tighter from there.

Whether it's colleagues
or people you see walking by

that you know you have mutual love for,
and then even tighter with...

I have a big ol' family,
so I got a whole bunch of cousins

from Texas and all the above
that come and visit and vice versa.

And then I have just me,
my mom, and my dad.

Um, and that is the strong one.

-And your sister.
-And my little sister.

She's... My parents say she was like me
when I was younger, but she's just...

-Old soul, old soul and amazing.
-Aw!

Where does she get that from?

-[SHRIEKS]
-ROBIN: Her old soul, come on. No!

-That doesn't run in the genes at all.
-That, I don't know, but...

I think that’s just from my parents,
they just create some...

pretty dope kids, I guess.

-[LAUGHS]
-MARSAI: But...

-But also fearless kids. Fearless.
-MARSAI: Yes, fearless.

I feel like in the industry that we're in,
especially being a young Black girl,

our confidence gets lowered
in different spaces.

But having a support system,
and having my parents around

that are just the most resilient,
the most bold,

protected, like, people in the world,
they're realest people I know.

I'll never forget
your mother talking to me about...

Your mother told me
you were gonna be exactly who you are.

And you are exactly who you are
still becoming and I love that.

A mother's fierce love for their child,
the same way your mother was about you.

Yeah, I mean my mom was really...
We were talking about her...

-She was...
-Her mother was something else, baby.

-ROBIN: Okay. [GIGGLES]
-A balabusta! She did it all!

-She was the original momager. Oh, yes.
-BROOKE: Yes!

-She was like the original.
-Even the momagers now

give her the props and say,
"Yeah, but I know Teri Shields."

-It was like... She was tough.
-But you've been very honest

in talking about
the complicated relationship

-that you had with your mother.
-I grew up, kind of, just with my mom.

-And my mom was a heavy, heavy drinker...
-ROBIN: Yeah.

...and really battled it,
and never succeeded, to be honest.

Three rehabs and all of that.
I did my first intervention

-when I was 13.
-Oh...

Um, and, you know... But part of that,
you know, people sort of say like,

"Well, what was the hardest thing?"
And I say,

"Well, the hardest thing
is loving an alcoholic."

Because you love them, you just...
You wanna keep them alive.

So that's... It was such
a preoccupation for me

that Hollywood almost was secondary,
you know? We never lived in LA, we...

I went to regular children's schools.

Never went
to a professional children's school.

I never missed school for work.
And then, every time we traveled,

she made them get us another ticket
for my stepsister or for a girlfriend.

She said "I don't want you
in these environments

-"and not have, like, a buddy...
-SHERYL: Protection. That's right.

"...to laugh at the craziness or complain

"or have inside jokes."
You have to have resilience

and you have to have
some type of a support system.

Your oldest just went off to college,

-so you're one step closer to empty nest.
-SHERYL: Oh, wow!

Yes, I'm that much closer.
So, my older is... She's 19.

But... So, she's in her second year
of college,

which I thought would be easier
to, like, see her go,

but it was practically worse.
It was just, you know...

But she called me today,
she FaceTimed me for about 45 minutes

to take me through every single thing
that happened yesterday

with the roommate,
and the boyfriend, and the whole thing.

And she's like, "I had a sad night,"
and she's talking to me,

and I was just like...
I just texted her and I said,

"I'm so glad that you can talk to me."

-And she said, "Mama, I'm so..."
-Yeah.

Oh, I get all... [EXHALES]
..."I'm so lucky and glad

"that I can tell you all about my life
and you don't have judgment."

She said, "Mama, thank you for that."

-And I was like, "Aw!"
-That’s a great gift.

That’s an incredible...
My parents gave me the exact same gift.

I'll never forget going off to college
and, you know, things happen,

and my father said,
"Don't you ever be afraid

"to talk to me about anything.
I might not agree with you,

"but I will always love you."

So, you... Your daughter being able
to say that to you

means everything. Everything.

I was talking, um, to somebody
the other day and I said, "You know,

"all my life, I've been commented on."

-Everybody has had an opinion of me.
-Ooh!

What I'm doing wrong,
what is wrong with me.

Maybe what I'm doing right,
but very rarely.

You know, criticize my mother, or...
It’s been this, like,

constant, just attacking, like, not...
Trying to tear me down the whole time.

And it’s so interesting
because you start to...

It starts just to become like white noise.

-Yeah.
-SHERYL: Yeah.

And at a certain point, you think,

"Well, I don’t even have time
to listen to this."

-ROBIN: Yeah.
-I have to nurture...

I would... I mean, I didn't even know
if I liked a certain food at a point.

-I would be like, "Do I like this?"
-SHERYL: Mm.

Because every bit of me
had been somehow owned by the public.

My... my period was on the cover
of People magazine and, like...

I mean, that stuff's insane,
so you kind of get...

You sort of think,
"Oh, I guess I'm just fair game.

"I guess I owe everybody
everything all the time."

But you get this resilience
because you think,

"Really, wow!
You're doing that to me right now."

-Right.
-"Right now, you're gonna do that? Okay."

"Watch how I'm not gonna fall."

-That's the key.
-BROOKE: Watch me...

-That moment right there.
-BROOKE: Go ahead!

Like, go ahead. I'm like a Weeble.

-You know?
-ROBIN: You wobble but you come up.

-Move it along!
-BROOKE: Yeah, and then you come back up.

-Or those punching clowns.
-Yeah.

-[BROOKE LAUGHS] Whatever.
-Yeah.

But I learned to then really just be able
to speak for myself...

-Right.
-...and tell my story,

whether it’s about postpartum,
or my alcoholic mother,

or whatever, because you say,
"You know what,

"you've all had a lot to say
over these decades. It’s my turn."

-ROBIN: Cheryl, let me ask you...
-Yes.

...has your community changed
over the years? Have you had to let go

of some folks in your inner circle
because they really weren't supportive?

No. No, no, no, no,
I have a very tight little circle.

It’s not like I bring on
a whole lot of new friends,

so I think in all of these years,
I never have to offload people

'cause I never onload a whole lot.

-ROBIN: Hmm.
-And I never do.

-Yeah.
-I think that’s also because

as a little girl, oh, my goodness,

I was a child of integration,
so you go into these different circles

and sometimes people
are not very welcoming of you...

-ROBIN: Right.
-...and they tell you how ugly you are,

they tell you how big your lips are,
or they tell you, “You don't belong here,

“you just got in because
you're ugly, or you're Black,”

and I had this immigrant mother

who always looked at me and said,
"You know, you're beautiful."

-Aw!
-So I'd learned through that sort of stuff

to value me as I am
in the space as I am,

and, you know, just do the things
you need to do to get through life.

But I could say that of the three of you
that you don't go along just to get along.

-SHERYL: Hell no.
-That you prioritize.

-Where do you get that courage to do that?
-Hmm.

Ooh...

I think it’s from my parents,

-to be completely honest.
-ROBIN: Absolutely.

They have... And honestly, too,
to piggy-back on what you said,

they want me to...
'Cause I'm now at the age,

-to where I'm an "adult" now, so...
-Ish.

-Adult-ish.
-Ish. [LAUGHS]

An adult-ish.

So, you know, college is one
of those lanes that I am able to take

or go a totally different route,
but whatever happens,

my parents are like,
"If this isn't fun for you anymore,

"if acting, if produ...
I you don’t wanna do this,

-"we'll drop, like...
-Thank you.

-"We'll drop it."
-Now see, that’s another huge gift.

-And it's beautiful.
-SHERYL: Yes.

I've realized the importance of community,
as a 57-year-old,

but basically when I hit 40,

I was so acutely aware
of how much I needed

a community of like-aged people
because we're counted out.

You know, and we... 'Cause we don’t have
"it takes a village" anymore.

We're all so separate, you know?

And I just finally started coming
into my own in my forties

and feeling confident in my body
and not comparing myself to other people.

Which is so weird coming
from one of the most beautiful women

-in the world!
-ROBIN: In the world.

-A woman of iconic...
-MARSAI: My goodness.

-...iconic memories.
-ROBIN: It's true.

I mean, it’s just so interesting
to hear that.

But... Yeah, but the thing
that's so interesting is,

we're not really encouraged
to be confident,

not all of us have parents like that,
and then you've got society,

-and then ageism and any other thing...
-Ageism is real.

It’s so real, and I finally was ready,

like, to kinda take it all on,
and I'm being told,

"Nah, you're good. You had a great run.

"We're just gonna put you out to pasture."
I'm like, "Wait a minute."

Do you think
that there is a disconnect with people...

Who you are, and who they think you are?

-Oh, gosh.
-Ooh, girl. Sorry. [LAUGHS]

-Absolutely.
-ROBIN: Okay.

I think nobody in this room can say no.

I mean, I started this company
called, Beginning is Now.

I'm a... I signed it on the CEO line.
I was like, "Wait, where's 'performer'?"

-"Where's 'talent'?"
-[LAUGHS]

And they were like, "No, you're CEO."
I was like, "Oh!"

But... And we're in the process
of fundraising, right?

That's something I've never done.

-It's hard.
-I've never gone out and asked for money.

And from mostly older men.

Finally, really, there are many,
many women now in this...

in this arena, so it’s great,

but it’s so interesting.
So first, it’s being a woman,

-then it’s being me.
-Mm-hmm.

And I sit there
and you can feel when it kicks in

because they've gotta get it
outta their system.

Whether I've been in their locker
when they were a teenager,

-or Blue Lagoon was their first...
-[LAUGHS]

...coming-of-age movie or whatever
the thing they've imprinted on me, right?

And I sit there and I have to give them
the time to get it out of their system

and then, they try to school me
on what I'm talking about,

you know, they mansplain what money is.

And... [CHUCKLES] ...and I wait,
and I just... I sort of smile,

and then I throw in a zinger
about the total addressable market,

or the cap table,
or the whatever the thing is

that I've had to have
a crash course learning.

And you just watch.
In that moment, you become formidable.

And then they really...
Then you're like, "Oh,

"okay, here I am." And it’s not...
It is a power struggle,

and I never thought
that I would be doing this in my fifties.

But the power of community, though,

what you...
We were talking about was really...

I go back to that, because when
you amass women of a certain age,

and you've got a while to get there...
[CHUCKLES]

...but the level of strength,
and power, and possibility

for women over a certain age
to start new chapters

and start new things, and say,

"It’s my turn now, and my time.
What do I wanna do with it?"

We're not dying at this age anymore.

-You know? We’re... This is our new...
-That's right.

And to be just as excited
about this new stage,

-and new chapter.
-Yes!

-And not wanna be in my twenties anymore.
-No! Oh, Lord, no.

-Again, I do for certain things...
-I'm not saying... No! Let me know!

'Cause, you know,
here's the thing, right? Like...

Going into this new stage of adulthood
you don’t... I don't know what to expect,

I don't know what lane to take, you know,
it’s like one of those things that it's...

The level of uncertainty is so heavy.

We both took a path as young women
to go into higher education,

into higher learning
because if there's one thing I've learned,

an educated artist is a far
more interesting artist.

Take subjects in what you love.

-Weren't you in med school or...
-SHERYL: I was a med student.

-...for a hot second.
-I was a pre-med student.

Yeah, I was a pre-med student

and that organic chemistry class
kicked...

-[LAUGHS]
-...then squashed that dream!

I will never be Dr. Ralph.
I will play one on TV.

-Dr. Ralph!
-I'd let you operate on me.

-Oh, my God!
-[WOMEN LAUGH]

Mm-mm. Then I thought
I was gonna be a lawyer.

Child of an immigrant. "Doctor, lawyer,
and if you can’t do that,

-"then marry one." So, I was...
-[WOMEN LAUGH]

...I was doing none of those things.

But you know what? It’s also...
I think there's so much to be said

for longevity.

-Yeah.
-BROOKE: And I think that one of the ways

to ensure longevity
is by being willing to keep learning.

-Because you have...
-Yes!

Now when I got out of college,
you know, they scare you

and they say,
"Oh, the world's gonna forget you,"

-and in a way, it happened.
-SHERYL: That's right.

-MARSAI: It happens, yeah.
-BROOKE: All of a sudden, they're like,

"Um, and you are? What? Remind us again."

And it was a real,
like, shock to my system.

-MARSAI: Yeah.
-But what it made me do

was pivot in different areas,
that’s how I found Broadway.

Had I not had that,
sort of, slap in the face,

I might not have been able to pivot.
I would have been in my one little lane,

and I would have been told
that's the only place you to get to be.

I would have never been able
to write books.

And author them myself,
pen them myself, you know?

-MARSAI: That's right.
-You know? But it was that education...

And by the way, I don't think
it’s the same now that it used to be.

-Right.
-BROOKE: You know? I say to my daughter,

"Just have the time to enjoy
your college experience.

"You don't have to know
what you're gonna do."

I've been doing everything
for everybody else,

including raising children,
which, you know, that they're...

-It’s all about them. [CHUCKLES]
-It is.

And, but then, all of a sudden you realize
"Okay, I've lived so much,

"but there's so much more to do."
And when you amass women in the community,

and you talk about
not only their autonomy,

-but the strength in and of itself...
-Yeah.

...there's energy in that.
And there's energy to be harnessed

and it's unstoppable.

I started off as a sports journalist...

-SHERYL: Yeah.
-...because that's what I wanted to do.

I just... Well, I wanted
to be a pro athlete,

but that's another story.
That's a terrible story.

-That was the start, though.
-That was the beginning.

You know, that was that
planting that seed,

and what I realized
that wasn't gonna happen,

my sister who is a phenomenal broadcaster,
and so, she encouraged me,

"Well, how about combining
your passion for sports

"with your interest in journalism?"
So, I'm like...

I don't see anyone who looks like me,
but I'm gonna be a sports journalist.

I'm gonna be a sportscaster.

And I found that I was saying no
to other opportunities

because I just wanted to be in sports.

And when this opportunity
for Good Morning America came along,

and I thought, "Oh, boy. This is really...
This is really good.

"I'm gonna get some guidance here."

I went to a dear friend, Billie Jean King.

-Oh. Wow!
-And I thought for sure,

-she's gonna say, "You can't leave!"
-You got the best!

Yeah! "You can’t leave sports,
you have to stay here with us."

And she looked at me and said,
"You're afraid.

"That's why you're staying in sports.
You love it,

"but you don't wanna venture
outside of your comfort zone,

"that's your safety net."

And I had to get real
with myself, and go in like,

"Oh, I've been saying no out of habit."

When people kept asking me
to go into news

and I was saying "No, no, no."
And then I got to a station in my life,

"I do wanna... I wanna do this."

But it's knowing that
and having that self-talk

and realizing that you are in different...
I call it "seasons," as my mama said.

-SHERYL: Oh, yes.
-"Different seasons in your life."

And just knowing
that it’s okay to make those shifts,

and I think that fear, though I see
three fearless women right here,

people watching, they'll go,
"Yeah, but you know what?

"I can’t, because..."
How do you walk through it?

How do you explain to somebody

that it's okay, that... I mean,
I know you must've felt fear,

-throughout.
-I've... All the time!

-[WOMEN LAUGH]
-Yeah, I mean...

Fearless?
I'm a little scared of a lot of things.

But, you know, it takes a lot
of strength to ask for help.

-Oh, God.
-MARSAI: Yeah.

And I think that type of vulnerability

is gonna just make you grow
that much more.

-Right.
-Ask from the best.

-SHERYL: That’s right
-I mean, look at...

Look around you and go,
"All right, you're a master in this field,

-"whatever it is. Tell me, teach me."
-MARSAI: Mm-hmm.

Success leaves clues.
Success leaves clues.

I ask myself the question, like,
"What's the alternative?"

You know, are you...
What are you gonna do, like...

-SHERYL: That's a good one.
-...are you going to take that fear

and have that be who you are?

Or are you gonna say,
"Okay, here we go"...

-SHERYL: Right.
-...and jump into it

because the alternative is so sad.

It's immobility and it's stagnant,
and it's lonely,

and it’s not... There's nothing growing.
You know what I mean? So...

I'm fine with failing.
I'm not fine with not trying.

-SHERYL: That’s exactly right.
-I don’t wanna be on the bench.

You said fear, though.
You asked about fear.

You know, fear...
Sometimes fear is a very good thing.

Sometimes you need to be afraid.
I talk to myself!

Yeah, that's what you're supposed to do!

Yes! Yeah, you gotta talk to yourself!

I do them every single day,
I do video diaries. They're just for me.

-But I just constantly...
-Touch me!

That I constantly... I've been doing
it ever since I was little.

I have like... Not little, little, but 13.

-Ever since my teenage years.
-SHERYL: Little.

-Yeah, little! Little, basically.
-[SHERYL LAUGHS]

Um... But yeah,
when I started my teenage years

I started doing these, like,
little video diaries,

just talking to myself, just trying to...

If anything was stressing me out,
or I had no idea, like,

where to go in a certain space,
I just talked to myself.

Like, well, "Why am I nervous?
I think I'm nervous because of this."

-Yes.
-MARSAI: "Well, how do we fix that?

"How do we at least be more comfortable,
in being uncomfortable?"

-SHERYL: Yes.
-So, yeah. I constantly...

I totally understand.

And you were doing these videos
for yourself?

For myself. I still... Yeah.
I did one this morning.

-ROBIN: Oh, this morning?
-[WOMEN LAUGH]

Yeah, no... I do them every single day.

Good for you, because it’s okay
not to be okay.

-MARSAI: Yeah!
-SHERYL: Yes.

It’s okay to not be okay.
And I love how you have built a community

for these wonderful, dynamic artists
that might not have,

because talent is equal,
opportunity is not.

-MARSAI: Yes.
-And you are providing opportunity.

Thank you. Thank you so much.

-And social currency really matters.
-Yeah.

Because I'm seeing the value
of social currency,

what the seeds that you plant,
and where it is you go,

not just for yourself, but for others.

-Yeah.
-Because you're building your own.

Well, I mean, you'd be shocked
of how similar we all are,

so having those journeys,

being... Or at least, helping
to build someone else's journey

has always been something
that... It doesn't even matter

if I was in the industry or whatever,

because I constantly grew up around that,
I... Me and my parents always say

we don't work in Hollywood,
we just work, kind of, outside of it.

-Mm-hmm.
-We see it, but we're not in it.

Um, so, we constantly try
to just create projects

that are not only
for little young Black girls,

-but just representation in general.
-SHERYL: Period.

To use a sports term,
"diversity" is being on the team,

-"inclusion" is getting in the game.
-Getting in the game!

-ROBIN: And wanting to be in the game.
-Exactly.

That’s what I always say, too.
I tell people,

"Get up off of the sidelines
of your own life.

"Strategize how are we
going for this win."

I also think it’s important
because you keep going forward,

-you go through.
-SHERYL: Yeah.

I had a very serious accident
this past year,

and I don't think people are really aware
of how much they're capable of.

How the strength that you do have,
that you need to grab ahold of,

and I had to learn how to walk.

And it was so... I mean I had to get
the brain... the message from my brain,

to my limbs to move...

-Oh, my gosh!
-...like it was the most bizarre thing

I've ever... I'm all metal.

But now I can wear my jewelry
in the airport

because I have to do this,
which I kind of like.

I'm like, "Sorry, can’t take it off,
I'm all metal."

-Wow.
-But this idea of the power of what...

How resilient our bodies are!
I'm fascinated by strength.

Um, physical, mental, emotional,
you know, spiritual.

-SHERYL AND MARSAI: Yeah.
-And we are all stronger than we all know.

You know, people will say, like,
this is networking.

-No, this is gardening.
-Yeah. [LAUGHS]

This is gardening.
This is like planting these seeds...

-SHERYL: Seeds, absolutely.
-...and we're watering these seeds.

-SHERYL: That’s right.
-And I know

how people are going to receive this.
And I thank you,

I thank you, just shows us
that we're in different seasons

-of our life.
-SHERYL: Yes.

ROBIN: We're different backgrounds,
but we come together,

we make the choice to be here together.

And share. And I thank you.
I thank y’all.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

I saw you on Dreamgirls
when I was little!

-I mean, I've never really been little.
-[WOMEN LAUGH]

And it was such a...
Like I was so excited

-and I got to go backstage and meet you.
-Yes.

And to be able to look, sort of,
that far back,

'cause I've been around
for a thousand years,

you know, you just go, "Yes! That's it,
right there. You never give up,

"you keep going. Talent is gonna win out."

I mean,
I saw that when I was a little kid.

Like... And I was just in awe!