01x01 - The Move

[bunniefuu]

Vanessa? Are you nearly finished?

No, I'm not finished!

-Can you open the door?
-Wait a minute!

I really need to go to the toilet!

-I thought you'd gone.
-God.

Don't watch me.

Do you think I can't smell it?

What? It's just poo. Nothing wrong
with that. Everyone poos.

The king poos.
Rihanna poos.

Stop saying "poo".

Can't you just admit
you were smoking?

Admit I'm your favourite sister!

Unfortunately, I only have one,
and she promised to quit smoking!

My house, my rules.

Oh...

I'm moving out.

TWO SISTERS

Sorry.

I was only joking.

I wasn't.

I don't get your hurry
to move in with that kid in a suit.

Philip.

I think you should get Tinder.

I think it would be good for you
to have another relationship...

not just this one.

Drink.

-You missed the morning meeting.
-Nice.

I've got an idea.

An idea for a program?

Maybe, I don't know. I hope so.

That's great! Have you shown Jack?

Will you look at it first?

-Of course. Good.
-I'll email it to you.

Mum, I'm at work.
I'll call you later.

-Are you ready for the pitch?
-You mean, are "we" ready?

What, you think I should do it alone?

It's your project.

-Do I get a raise if I nail it?
-No.

-They're here now.
-Now?

-Okay, then let's do this.
-Okay.

-Cheers.
-Cheers!

-Cheers to Vanessa.
-Cut it out. They haven't said yes.

No, but they will. Relax.

Don't you ever tire of talking shop?

-No.
-No, never.

-Hey?
-Yeah?

Alicia's moving out.

Oh dear.

-Are you okay?
-What did you say?

-How did it go?
-What?

I can't hear you!

-Thanks.
-Thank you.

The only way to get over someone
is to find someone new.

It's not like I'm dating my sister.

You sleep in the same bed!

I don't know why everyone's obsessed
with me getting a boyfriend!

Maybe you're asexual.

-What?
-Asexual!

Maybe you're asexual.
Yeah, you're asexual!

I'm a boring hetero girl
who can't be bothered with sex.

That's the craziest thing I've heard.
How long ago was it?

Why so interested in my sex life?

-Because I want you to have fun!
-Sex is so much work.

I saw a documentary about asexuality.

And there's nothing... wrong with it.

It's just easy to feel
like a bit of an outsider.

And if you're in a relationship
it's hard if one partner is sexual...

and you're... asexual.

If I had to have someone,
I'd have him, over there.

-You know who that is, right?
-A guy in a bar.

True. But he's...
he's more popular than that.

Go on, then.

Go!

Do it!

Okay.

Wow!

But don't make a fool of yourself!

Hey, can you buy me a beer?
I'll pay you back straight away.

What?

If you buy me a beer...

I've made a... bet with my friend
and I have to win,

so if you buy me a beer,
I'll pay you back.

Did you make a bet on me?

Yes, that's right.

-Can I get two beers?
-Yes.

You're funny.

Thirsty.

-My name's Martin.
-Bye!

Okay...

-Where are you going?
-Home.

-Sorry, I forgot my keys.
-Again?

Are you asleep?

I've got yoga at 6.30
with Lojsan tomorrow.

-Cute!
-Mm.

Can I come?

Do you want to?

No.

Have you really thought it through?

Moving out?

Stop it.

I don't think you should, it feels
like you're being a bit impulsive...

and irrational.

We'll talk about this tomorrow.

No, then you'll have to promise
to stay.

Vanessa, you're so drunk.

No, but I can be better too,
I can calm down,

I can drink vegetables,

I can become
a super healthy vegan.

-What? A vegan who loves sausages?
-Yeah.

-Go to sleep. Come on.
-But I'm wearing shoes.

Take them off, then.

Okay...

You know, you smell like dad.

A fish?

-What?
-You stink.

-I got home so early.
-You think three is early?

-Anything before four is early.
-Every night, Vanessa.

Do I have to buy friends?

No, they said
this type shouldn't have friends.

It's happiest alone, because
it's super aggressive and, yeah...

-It lives alone in its little home.
-You bought me a k*ller fish?

No, it's an... independent fish.

Wait, aren't you a vegan?

Yes.

How does this work, then?

This is fish trafficking.

-sh*t. I'm not ready yet.
-Only psychopaths are on time.

Come in.

Alicia?

Come in!

Hello? Oh.

-Hi.
-Hi.

Ah.

-What a... charming apartment.
-You think?

The real estate agent said so too.

How's the stock portfolio and...
are there lots of interests now?

Ah, yeah. It's going well.

Great.

Darling, wow.

Thanks!

Alicia?

You can take the puff.

What? Oh, God, really?

It'd be nice to take something to
remind you of your creative side.

-Thank you. Isn't it nice?
-Mm.

Our grandmother knitted it,
in the 70s.

Wow, really well knitted...

Maybe it suits a charming, bohemian
home more than your place.

Of course we'll have it, darling.

I'll take it.

-This?
-Yeah, that's right.

-See you.
-Bye!

-I'll be out soon.
-Yep, see you out there.

No, keep them.

-Vanessa...
-You never know.

Come here!

Bye.

-Bye.
-I won't let you go!

Okay.

She can walk by herself.

SMOKE CONTRACT
I DESERVE A SMOKE-FREE BODY

WELCOME HOME

Philip!

Dad!

Dad?

Hello?

There you go!

-Are they both for me?
-Yep!

Stop sulking. Drink.

Wow, you drank the whole thing?

She'll come back. She always does.

She'll get sick of him,
find a better guy, and so on.

There's no guarantee she'll find
someone better than Philip. Sorry...

-Two beers.
-Yes.

With a shot of vodka on the side?
On me.

Yeah, that sounds bloody good,
actually.

There you are.

Yep.

I don't want to be rude,
but I think you owe me a beer.

Oh yeah, sh*t.

Sorry.

-There you go!
-How's it going?

-Good. How are you?
-Good.

-Was it good?
-No. Damn.

Thanks for the beer.

Where the hell's my beer?

Damn, sorry,
I can't go back to the bar now.

-You look crazy when you do that.
-What did he say?

-That he wants to marry me.
-Wow! Say yes.

-He's still looking.
-Stop staring at him!

He's coming.

What are you two doing now?

We don't have any plans,
but we're open to suggestions.

-I probably have to go home.
-Why?

-I have a meeting. Tomorrow.
-f*ck, you're a liar.

Just get her something to drink
and she'll be good.

Some friends are having a party
at the studio.

We could go there?

Okay.

What are you doing?

Surprise!

What the hell?

Now everything's ruined.

What's ruined?

-Weren't you going to buy a dress?
-Yeah.

But I bought something else instead.

Darling, you're bleeding.

Oh!

I'm leaving.

-What the hell? Are you kidding me?
-I'm going now. No.

Did she leave?

She left.

Do you like cognac?

-I love cognac.
-I've got cognac at home.

-I'll just buy some cigarettes.
-Okay.

Hi! You've reached Alicia.
I can't answer right now,

but leave a message...