01x07 - Kakinokosu

[bunniefuu]

Asa.

Your name was chosen
with a great deal of care.

It embodies the beauty of all new things
that come with each day.

I wish with all my heart that you'll
be loved by everyone around you.

And I'll do everything I can
to make that come true.

Asa, as your mother, I...

Ah, hey there.

Sorry about all the trouble.

No worries.

I'll have an iced caffè latte, please.

Coming right up.

- How's Makio-san been?

- So how's Makio doing?

Well, we can talk about her later.

Yeah.

By the way, I had no idea
you'd changed jobs.

Yup, a year ago.

So I've got no connections and no
foundation to get me anywhere.

I feel bad leaning on you like this.

Hey, I'm always happy to help.

To cut to the chase, they seem
really excited to meet you.

Nice!

They seem to have a similar vision,
so I think I can arrange something.

What do you say?

A casual meetup, or...?

Nah, I want to dive right into business.

Gotcha. Then let me give
you their contact info.

Thanks a bunch!

I haven't been to a family-style
restaurant in ages.

They're great for bringing kids along.

Can I call you Makio-san?

Thank you for making time today.

Oh, sure.

- We've known Asa-chan since
they were in elementary school.

- We've got to get the parfait!

- Strawberry or chocolate?

- I was friendly with her parents
for quite a while.

- Um, I dunno... I can't decide!

- I see...

- You'll have some too, right?

- For sure.

- To be honest, I still haven't really
processed that they're gone.

- Then let's get one of each.

- Let's do it!

It's all just so sudden, isn't it?

Anyway, when you didn't shown up
for graduation or the entrance ceremony,

it had me worried about
what kind of person you might be.

I apologize for causing you concern...

Oh, no! I'm sorry.

You see, I heard all about you
from Emiri and Asa-chan afterward.

I understand now
that you're perfectly fine!

When you put it like that,
I worry that I'm not fine at all.

But I'm trying my best...

That's what it means to raise a child.

I'm glad I met you today.

Wait, so Makio-san didn't
mention anything to you?

Nope, I haven't seen her in a while.

Hang on, does this mean something's
happened between you two?

Like what? Fess up.

Er, but you're her best friend.

If she hasn't told you, I dunno if I...

I'd never talk romance with her. Gross.

And "best friend"? Blegh!

Yeah, your friendship's
always been weird like that.

Y'know, Kasamachi-kun...

Back in the day, you were the one
who wanted to be introduced to us.

If you'd never said anything,
I doubt we ever would've met.

N-Not ever?

Thinking back on it,
I could never keep up with you guys.

I know.

So, what's the scoop?

I didn't think you'd be very happy.

If I got close to her again, I mean.

In my family, my dad never
said a word when we went out.

It was like he was there all by himself.

Oh, man.

I hated that.

- Your dad was kind of a quiet guy.

- She talks about her parents a lot.

- He never really had much to say.

I sometimes wonder if
she's sharing too much.

It took me by surprise at first.

But maybe it's better for her
to talk about things openly.

That might be true.

I wasn't in contact with my sister, so...

Hey, hey. Mom.

What now?

Excuse me.

Can I go buy swimsuits with Asa?

You already have swimsuits.

But I'm too tall for them now.

Really?

- How much have you grown?

- What's that face for?

- Five centimeters.

I wanna buy some too.

- What? Fine, I suppose.

- Wait, don't you have swimsuits too?

- Yay.

Like you would know!

That's entirely not the point.

I'm too tall for mine too, okay?

Only by, like, two centimeters.

Emiri, you traitor!

Wait, what? You were depressed?

After Makio-san and I split up.

No way. You mean back when
I sent you that enraged text?

That's terrible. I'm sorry!

Oh, no, it wasn't because
of the split or your text.

I just realized I couldn't work
at the bank anymore.

Really?

I promise.

Wow... I didn't expect that.

Not from you, though that might be rude.

I get it.

Honestly, I couldn't believe it myself.

Okay, then I'll make a note
for 5,000 yen in the cloud.

All right!

What cloud?

We keep notes in the cloud so we can
share it like a bulletin board.

Since I tend to forget things.

You forget things?

Yes, I do.

Like what kind of things?

U-Um, well...

Anything, I guess.

We fought about that the other day.

That wasn't a fight.

What a great idea.

A friend gave me the advice.

It's 'cause Makio-chan
can't stay organized.

She doesn't listen either.
And she forgets even when she does.

- Hey, do you think she could be,
like, neurodivergent?

- It's no wonder.

- You became a parent overnight.

- What's that?

- It must've been a huge change.

Well, I suppose.

Though it's not like I'm her mother.

But it's not like she's my mom...

Still, you made the decision, didn't you?

To parent Asa-chan.

No, I'll never be her parent.

Nor am I trying to.

Although I am her guardian.

I'd just start crying and couldn't move.

I kept thinking, "Why me?"

"It's up to you to make it work."

"Get over it."

"You must not be trying hard enough."

I never said it out loud,
but I'd judge other people that way.

And it all came back to bite me.

Until then, I never imagined myself
being in a position of need.

I was too arrogant.

You told Makio about this?

Only recently.

I couldn't tell anyone
until after I changed jobs.

And I was scared of how
she might react, but...

Did you sleep lots?

Yeah, I slept a ton.

Then... that's good.

That was it.

That idiot!

No, I realized I was anxious for nothing.

It was a huge relief.

That's the side of her
I fell for, you know?

Gosh.

My, my. How sweet.

I-I should get going...

Hold up! At least tell me how it started.

Oh, I don't think that's true.
As long as you love her...

No, um, I didn't mean...

How do I word this?

Her parents were the people
who raised her until now.

No one can replace them.

Not that I know what
they were like as parents.

I wonder what Mom was really like.

But now, she has no way of receiving
what they would have bestowed upon her.

Both for better and for worse.

Loneliness, despair...

How hard it must be not to know
the words to express those things yet.

The harsh truth is that
we're never able to.

And we live in fear of it forever.

That's why I believe we'll have to make do
with what little she's already been given.

I might be able to protect her,
but not raise her.

A-Are you okay?

Ew.

You're crying again?

Don't worry. She's the type
to get weepy over commercials.

Emiri's mom kinda reminds
me of a chihuahua!

We're off to go shopping.

I'm sorry! Gracious...

N-No, you're fine.

Just imagining if it were me
got me going.

Right...

Um, can I ask you
something, Michiko-san?

Oh, you mean me?

Gosh, I get called "Emiri's mom" so much,
you caught me off guard.

Please, ask away.

What was my sister like?

A lawyer?

The guy who's watching out for Asa-san.

Huh. Never heard of him.

You see, he's good-looking.

And unlike me, he's got
this cool vibe going on.

So I got a bit ahead of myself.

Makio doesn't like pretty boys, though.

But she likes smart guys, right?

Are you talking about yourself,
smarty pants?

A lawyer's gotta be smarter than me.

Wait. You're, like, actually jealous?

It's not that.

But Makio-san's popular with guys.

I couldn't just stand back and watch.

What?!

That pain in the a*s?

Only weirdos are into her!

W-Weirdos?

I'm talking about you, damn it!

Daigo-san, your voice!

Minori-san...

I referred to her
as Asa-chan's mom myself.

I guess I'd say she was
pretty hard on herself.

It was like she had very high standards.

Yeah...

Hey, you.

You can't do something this simple?

It's so easy.

Yeah... Why can't I do it?

I see.

Perhaps you're alike in that sense.

You seem hard on yourself too.

Going out on a limb here.

Um, did you ever hear why
she never legally got married?

Actually...

I only found out from the news.

I wonder if Asa-chan knew...

I'm not sure.

Somehow, it's like I hardly knew her.

You know, people who knew me before
I was a parent might say the same thing.

We never know the whole truth, I suppose.

Do you have any regrets?

About becoming a parent?

Of course.

But I'm sure I'd have regrets
no matter the path I chose.

At this point, I'm okay with my choice.

I wonder if I'd regret it more
if I hadn't taken her in.

I think you would have.

Since you seem hard on yourself.

I'm not that sincere.

Hey, Emiri?

Hmm?

I heard from Sakurai-kun a while ago
that Shinozaki asked you out.

You didn't say yes?

Sakurai told you that?

Wait, how do you even know Shinozaki?

We were on the same team for field day.

Oh. Well, I'm not going out with him.

What? Why not?

'Cause I don't like him.

Don't you want a boyfriend?

Maybe you're the one who wants one.

I do, but...

Band is enough fun for now. I just wanna
hear about other people's love lives.

Not cool.

Seriously, though—

I'm done talking about this.
I don't want a boyfriend. End of story.

So, what?

You'd be cool with a girlfriend then?

You're getting on my nerves.

I told you I'm done with this.

Come on, you're being like Makio-chan.

I tried asking her about Kasamachi-kun
and she was the same way.

Yeah, because you're prodding.

Nuh-uh.

Makio-chan's just weird like that.

I may be completely
off the mark, but here.

No matter who you fall in love with,
or who you don't...

It's a story about how there's
nothing wrong with that.

Well, I'm not weird or anything.

That's what I mean.

So it's weird that you're acting like her.

See how that's weird?

I thought Asa-san would be
home. Is this too much?

We'll eat the rest tomorrow.

She said she's having
dinner with a friend.

I told her to stay out of trouble.

Trouble, huh?

Oh, that reminds me...

This is for you. A bento journal.

It's my mom's. For some recipe ideas.

I can't accept someone else's journal!

It's really only about bento boxes.

No way. Absolutely not. No.

Fine, you can just borrow it.

I'm digging in.

Reading other people's handwriting
takes a lot of energy...

Like it feels too raw?

Yeah. Oh, look.

"Shingo's been hiding it, but he seems
to like sweetened pink cod flakes."

I don't think I was hiding that.

She seems really well organized.

She's pretty chill now.

Always out and about with her friends.

Then this must have been
her way of showing love.

In her case, she thought showering
me with her idea of "perfect"

would turn me into
the perfect son she wanted.

At least deep down.

I don't know if that's love.

Well, only she would really know.

And how you take it is up to you.

You know, my sister kept a journal too.

A journal?

It felt wrong, but I took a peek
inside to see if I should keep it.

Turns out it was for Asa.

You mean she was writing to Asa-san?

Yeah. You could say this bento
journal was written for you too.

But my sister's was more... personal.

She wrote she was planning to give
it to Asa when she turns twenty.

That sounds more like a letter.

I know. I didn't read
any further than that.

But she was never one to write.

I can't figure out what drove
her to do so much of it.

After all, writing is a lonely process.

Maybe that was love too.

In the end, my sister could've
chosen not to give it to Asa

had she lived another five years.

That's true.

But now that she's gone,
you've got to give it to her.

When?

When she turns twenty?

But Asa is longing for her mother now.

In a sense, her mom's still
alive in that journal.

Asa might want to read it now.

Maybe it should be up
to her when she reads it.

Then it's a question of timing.
That's tough.

Seriously?

You're the one who got yourself k*lled.

In a sense, her mom's still
alive in that journal.

Seriously?

You went and died on your own.

And now this journal?

Mom and Makio-chan both hid it from me.

Screw you.

Screw you.

Screw you.

Screw you!

Come on, you're going to be late.

Okay, okay.

Don't say it twice like that.

Okay.

I fixed your bedhead.

Have a good day.

I'm off!

My little brother says he won't get
married because he can't be selfless.

That's so self-centered!

Has he never worked with people?

My little sister might be like that too.

Really? Even as a woman?

I told her she shouldn't be that way
and got a chair thrown at me.

You sure she's not a man?

But when I think about it,
she might be better off than me.

She's following her heart,
working hard on her own.

Shut up!

You're the one who'll suffer like this.

You only care about how people see you.

You have nothing you like or want to do.

No principles to stand by!

No curiosity, no
inquisitiveness, no nothing!

Just because you don't have
anything that's yours...

Stop pushing your emptiness onto others!

I never really cared much for kids, but
once I had my own, it felt meant to be.

So you like raising kids?

It's more like... I finally became
who I always wanted to be.

I've always gotten by okay.

Or I thought I had.

But before I knew it,
nothing was going the way I wanted.

My life didn't turn out
anything like I imagined it.

I don't want to get married.

But... I want to take care of the child.

I'll do the best I can as a father.

If that's okay.

Oh... Sure.

Yeah, thanks.

...where a truck struck
a parked passenger car.

According to the police, its occupants
were Hajime Takumi and Minori Koudai.

They were taken to the hospital
but passed away.

How's newlywed life?

Nothing new except for my name.

All we did was turn in some paperwork.

That's the whole point!

How about you, Minori?

You're the last one left.

Who would've thought?

Whatever happened
with that guy you're dating?

Actually, I was just going
to share the news today.

Wow, so you're finally graduating too!

- I've always been normal
like everyone else.

- Congrats!

I'd even say I was a bit ahead.

Being different meant being weird.

Hey.

Why can't you do something this simple?

Answer me.

Little sister of mine,

how do you endure being
different from everyone else?

Asa...

Your name was chosen
with a great deal of care.

It embodies the beauty of all new things
that come with each day.

I wish with all my heart that you'll
be loved by everyone around you.

And I'll do everything I can
to make that come true.

Right now, I have no idea who you'll
become or what decisions you'll make.

And I may not yet know
for many years to come.

But as long as you can love yourself,

I believe that's enough.

It was like gazing into a giant, dark pit.

Lying at the bottom was a monstrous fear.

The thought that perhaps...

my mom never really loved me.

Asa, as your mother, I...

You don't know that!

It could be a lie.

Who knows?

She could've written anything...

How would I know?

How would I know?!