01x02 - Can we not talk about children?

[bunniefuu]

I thought I'd at least give you this,

since you're not doing too well.

Could you have Johanne bring coffee?

We can wait for you

if you want to take a shower.

Have some water.

-Sorry, I'm a bit exhausted.

-Here, drink some.

Why are you wearing that?

It's because I fixed my knee

so it wouldn't hurt so much.

Johanne, are you the one

who usually makes lunch?

She can make one for you too.

Johanne makes great sandwiches.

How lucky you are,

to have such a great sister.

-I like liverwurst on top of butter.

-That's good.

Hey, Daddy needs

some more sleep now.

You're really good with Embrik.

He's six.

Yeah, and it's really good

that you're helping your dad.

But it's the grown-ups

that should do most of the work.

We're going to help you and your dad.

Do you want to sit down?

-We have to go to school.

-It's okay, we spoke to your teacher.

-We'll drive you later.

-Can't you sit down?

It's fine.

I can help you with that.

I can do it myself!

I don't want to go to an orphanage!

Annie lives in an orphanage.

Yes, that's a nice movie.

Johanne, I understand

that you're stressed.

Embrik, should we put on some shorts?

-We'll help you.

-I can do it myself!

SUCK IT UP

-Aren't you going for a swim?

-I don't feel like it,

and Emma didn't want to swim alone.

Do we have to swim?

You're not swimming either.

No, you don't have to. I just thought

that's why you came along.

-Can we have some money for food?

-Sure.

Working at AKS

has given me a nervous bladder.

You don't work there that much.

-Are you coming, Emma?

-I'll pay you back.

Don't worry about it.

Wow!

-Weren't the girls going for a swim?

-They changed their minds.

Okay. Tell me about

the municipal attorney.

Not much to tell, really.

We're good friends.

-I drive him home from work.

-Okay.

And he's divorced.

I think she left him

because she met someone at work.

-He's got twins.

-I don't care about twins.

You made out at a concert

at Parkteatret, and then what?

That's it. Then we both went home.

Are you seeing each other again?

I don't know.

He invited me for a coffee.

-When?

-I don't know.

I really don't understand you.

I've been on Tinder

for three months,

even though it's only been two weeks

since Lasse found an apartment.

You haven't slept with anyone in

the five years you've been divorced.

You didn't even sleep with Finn.

-Get on Tinder!

-No, I don't want to be on Tinder.

I'm not taking my bra off

in front anyone again.

Give me a break.

I don't mean to be intrusive

by talking about Tinder and stuff.

I just wish you could find some joy.

After everything you've dealt with

after the car accident.

I would have gotten sick leave

many years ago.

I just think you deserve to be happy.

So does your dad.

Dad's very happy.

You know what? He gets d*ck-pics

at the University for Pensioners.

Oh, God.

I don't get why people

are so offended by d*ck-pics.

I love d*ck-pics.

I think it's touching.

-Why?

-Because he built it.

-Isn't that like a permanent fixture?

-Very permanent.

-Mind taking my bag too?

-I'll take everything.

Grab your bags and stuff.

-Bye.

-Bye.

-Aren't you coming for waffles, Emma?

-I can't.

-I'm visiting Mom at the hospital.

-Okay, tell her I said hi.

-Can I ask you about something?

-Yeah, of course.

I have a friend who's pregnant.

She wants to have an ab*rtion.

She's wondering if the Child Welfare

Services will keep records of that.

In case she wants to have kids

in the future.

Will they think

she's not fit to be a mother?

-Are you pregnant?

-No.

-Is it Hanna?

-No, it's my friend from Bergen.

Okay. No, the Child Welfare Services

don't do that.

ab*rtion are legal in Norway.

But she should talk to someone.

Her boyfriend or her mother.

It's not a pleasant thing

to do alone.

I don't think she wants to tell

her mom. They're Christians.

Okay.

-Tell your mom I said hi.

-I will. Bye.

-Thanks for having us.

-Our pleasure.

Will you give your knee

some rest now?

Maybe later.

-Are you ready for confirmation, Leo?

-I guess.

It'll be a special day

in a really tough year.

Pørni said you're having tapas?

Answer when Astrid

is speaking to you, Leo.

Tapas sounds good.

Teenagers. Sorry.

He's 15. He's lost his mother.

I don't expect good manners.

Lara, come!

-Bye, Lara!

-Bye!

Sigrid, can you help me

load the dishwasher?

-Can we have French fries?

-No, rice.

-Can't we have French fries, please?

-No.

I'll take it.

If it's Lara, tell her that her towel

is in the bathroom to dry.

-Dad! Hi!

-Hi.

-What are you doing here?

-Do you want to go out for dinner?

Did you hear that? He's taking Hanna

and me out to dinner.

-Hi, P!

-Hey, you.

Something smells good. Oh, waffles!

How about a movie and dinner?

-Hi, Dad!

-Hi!

The plan was for Leo and Sigrid

to go to Storo to buy shin guards.

Sure, he can come with us.

-Can we, please?

-Of course.

Bring jackets. It's a bit cold, okay?

Leo!

Finn, can't you call before you come?

I didn't know you were in Oslo.

I've been here since Monday.

Lots of publishing stuff.

And you didn't tell the kids?

I'm here now.

Sorry. Just wanted to see the kids.

Who am I hearing?

The one and only Finn!

-Hi, OJ. How are you? Good?

-Never been better.

By the way, I saw

that your new novel was on sale.

-Are you driving?

-We'll take the bus.

Can't we take Mom's car?

You can't drive anyway.

-Can we?

-I'm not taking the bus.

Of course.

You know where the keys are.

Great. I'll have them home by 11.

Okay, have fun.

-Sigrid! Wear the new sneakers, okay?

-Sure.

Have fun!

Don't look at me like that.

-He's allowed to meet the kids.

-I haven't said a word.

Do you want some chicken later?

It won't last until tomorrow.

You're joking, right?

Saturday night with your dad, at 45.

Sounds nice.

Don't waste what free time

you have eating dinner with your dad.

You're still somewhat young.

Don't waste it.

Call someone. Stay out all night.

I'm here if the kids need me.

Enjoy your waffles.

-Hi, this is Bjørnar.

-Hey, it's Pørni.

Hi! Changed your mind?

About a standing 69?

No! I was just wondering

I just got an opening.

Would you like to grab a coffee?

-But I guess you have the twins?

-No, absolutely not.

I was going to watch

the Liverpool match at Lincoln.

Probably not your dream Saturday.

Sure, I love watching

the game at a pub.

Let's see I can be there by 4:30.

Great. It's in Vogt's Street.

-Okay, see you then.

-See you.

-Bye.

-Bye.

-Hi! Did I forget something?

-Just Lara's towel.

I'm meeting Municipal-Bjørnar.

I need help with my outfit.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-When?

-Now. Soon.

Oh, f*ck, yes!

We're watching a soccer match.

Finn picked up the kids.

Maybe something white

and simple would be nice?

-And some gold earrings.

-No, no, no.

You're not going

to the Nobel concert.

This is my other option.

You're going to sleep with him.

Can't you just wear those jeans

and the black top I gave you?

-The one that accentuates your boobs?

-This one?

That one! And you have to shave.

What?

You can't have a hanging garden.

Full Brazilian.

We're just watching a soccer match.

I don't have a razor.

I have a splint on my knee.

-There might not be any sex.

-Of course there's going to be sex!

You have an hour and a half.

Go out and buy a razor.

And I want updates. Good luck!

Can we make it five o'clock?

TO MUNICIPAL-BJØRNAR

-Bjørn?

-Yes?

I can't register these. What do I do?

Hi, Pørni! We got ice cream!

-Lucky you.

-Dad's here.

I forgot the bread. There

I'm following your advice!

No more hanging garden.

Excuse me.

I just wanted to say that I got

a spot at Vangseter.

I've accepted parental guidance

and spoken to the employer.

And you're getting help

from your sister?

I'm not really a bad father.

I just want to say that.

I never drank before Irja moved out.

Kristoffer, we're meeting tomorrow.

We can make a plan then, okay?

Have a nice day.

Bon appétit.

To Municipal-Bjørnar:

I'll be five minutes late.

-Bye.

-Bye.

-Okay?

-Hi.

What's going on?

-You look nice!

-Are you going to a hooker party?

-Where's Dad?

-He met some writer friends.

He's coming to see

my soccer match tomorrow.

Hanna, is Was Sigrid upset?

I'm upset. I have feelings too.

Two minutes, okay?

You've reached Finn Høye.

If it's about my authorship,

call Geir at Aschehoug

Hanna, do you want to stay here

with Sigrid tonight?

Eat pizza and maybe watch a movie?

-What are you doing?

-I'm meeting a friend. Astrid.

Wasn't Astrid going to the movies?

Yes, but it's another

Astrid S. From work.

I'm not hungry. I'm not feeling well.

I think I'll just go to bed.

To Municipal-Bjørnar:

Sorry, I got delayed again.

Is it okay that grandpa is upstairs

while I go out and meet a friend?

Mom, are you pregnant?

-How would that happen?

-I found this in the bathroom.

That's something from work.

f*cking hell.

-Are you upset about Dad?

-No.

Ada Hegerberg and her sister

are going on a skills-course.

-Can I go?

-Sure.

Sorry. I have to cancel and pay.

Thank you. I'm sorry.

-Hello!

-Hi.

Listen, I'm sorry, but

My kids just got home, and I think

my daughter might be pregnant.

-I have to speak with her.

-Oh my God. Of course.

Sorry you have to sit there

alone now.

You think I'm alone? There are

two girls here giving me long stares.

Okay?

But don't worry, they're both

Tottenham supporters.

Hey This might be

a crazy question.

Would you like to come over

after the kids have gone to bed?

We could meet in the garage.

-You want us to meet in the garage?

-Yeah, or

We could have some wine

in the car.

The babysitter leaves at nine.

How about a garage date tomorrow?

Eleven o'clock?

-Okay. Bye.

-Bye.

Hanna.

Are you asleep?

-Hi, Hanna.

-I have to go to work.

You have to eat breakfast.

Not hungry.

I woke up and ate a ton because

I fell asleep so early last night.

Okay. Bye, then!

f*cking hell.

You're a c**t. You don't even know

what Embrik likes on his sandwich.

He wants butter on the bottom

and liverwurst on top.

What do you mean

when you use words like that?

Johanne, I think

I know why you are angry.

Because Daddy is gone.

You have to remember he's gone

because he needs some help, right?

So things will be better for you

and Embrik and Dad.

-Mom lives in Finland.

-Yes.

I know that's hard.

-Dad says Mom's a c**t.

-Johanne

I think you're a little angry,

but mostly sad.

And maybe a little tired.

You have done a lot of things

that grown-ups usually do, right?

But now you don't have to.

That's why I'm going to live here

with you.

I'll make sure you get clothes

and food and everything you need.

But you don't even know

what Embrik likes.

But you can help her with that.

Without worrying

about the other stuff.

But then I won't know what to do.

What do you mean?

I want to brush Embrik's teeth,

make him dinner

and take him to gymnastics.

If I don't, I don't know what to do.

My head's so big. If I start crying,

Embrik will start crying.

Then Dad will be even sadder

and won't come back.

I have to do those things.

I can do it!

It's going to be fine.

-I can comfort Johanne.

-Yes.

Yes.

Johanne is lucky

that you're her brother.

And Dad is really lucky to have

Sunniva as his sister.

There, there. Don't cry.

I'll make you sandwiches.

With liverwurst.

-Butter on the bottom.

-Butter on the bottom.

Hello.

What is it?

I just wanted to see

if you're feeling better.

Yeah, except that I'm exhausted

from working with children.

After two hours at AKS

I feel like throwing up.

You know you can

tell me anything, right?

What? Sure.

Is there anything you need help with,

or anything you want to tell me?

Khloé is angry at Kourtney because

of the photo sh**t, and Kylie

Hanna? Are you pregnant?

What?

No! Why would you think that?

I don't know.

If you are, you can tell me.

You can tell me anything.

I know. I'm not pregnant.

I'm on the ninth day of my period.

That's why I'm so angry.

If I was pregnant,

you'd be the first I'd tell.

Really?

You'd have to take me

to the hospital.

I wouldn't want anyone else with me.

No, don't ruin the moment with a hug.

No. Sorry.

But Emma is preggers.

I said she should speak with you.

Since she doesn't want to bother

her mother while she's doing chemo.

Okay.

Leo?

Are you going to bed soon? It's late.

-Ten minutes left of the episode.

-Okay.

I think you should see your dad

before the confirmation.

Not for his sake, but for your own.

Okay?

-I'll just be out in the garage.

-Okay.

Hi.

Oh, Lord!

-Are you okay?

-I don't know.

Wow!

-This is fantastic!

-Maybe too much of a brothel?

-A bit much?

-A bit much? No.

You could have taken it

a step further.

Oh, look!

-You have candles too.

-Of course.

Have you been to Anfield?

No, it's just from

the soccer shop at Ullevål.

-Okay.

-There is one in Sandvika too.

Really? Thanks for the info.

Oh God, sorry.

-Right.

-Cheers.

Yes. Thanks.

Cheers.

-How did it go with your daughter?

-Can we just

not talk about children?

They're so boring.

That's true. They are.

And they're so predictable, too.

-Hi.

-Hi.

-Sorry!

-Oh, sh*t! No!

No, it's okay. Forget it.

They're supposed to be like that.

Look. They're supposed

to be like this.

I mean it. I like it.

Forget it. Come here.

-Is everything okay with?

-Yes, it's

Forget it, it's soft.

Don't panic, but there are

three of us here now.

No.

sh*t!

Leo! Hey!

Hey, I'm sorry.

I don't want dad to come

to the confirmation.

And you keep saying he should come,

or that it's a given

that he should come, but

I don't want him there.

And I don't want a confirmation

if he's there.

Okay. That's

Of course. I just thought that

-But if you don't want him to come

-I don't want him come.

-I've made up my mind.

-Okay.

Of course, that's

I just think

you should speak with him.

I mean

You should meet him. It's important.

-I'll think about it.

-Okay.

Wow. Classy.

-You mean the stain?

-Yeah.

All my pants are like that.

Good night, Leo.

-Sorry.

-No.

It's fine.

We'll find another opportunity.

Okay.

-Bye, then.

-Bye.

-Good night.

-Good night.

You've reached Anne.

Please send an SMS

and don't leave a message,

because I won't listen to it anyway.

I'll call back as soon as I can.

Hi.

I had to call because

I made a fool out of myself

in front of the municipal attorney.

I threw myself over him like a

It was so embarrassing.

But Leo talked a bit today.

It was good.

Or

He misses you, of course.

And I miss you

too.

I miss you so much.

Good night.

Poor man.

You don't have to wait for me.

I can speak with dad, but

I still don't think he should come

to the confirmation.

Okay. I can talk to him.

Go, Lyn!

-Great!

-Come on! Run, run!

Come on! Run!

Go home, Lyn!

Come on!

Come on, girls! Come on!

Hey! Intercept her!

Run down the right side.

No! Hey, referee, that's offside!

There's no offside rule

until they play nine-a-side.

Did you see the last mail from Lyn?

We cheer equally

for anyone who scores.

So cheering's not allowed anymore?

Come on, Lyn!

-Sigrid, are you ready?

-Yes.

-What is it?

-Dad didn't come.

Hey, look at everyone who came here

to cheer for you.

-Hey, come on.

-Come on, Sigrid! Go!

Emma, I'll take you to the hospital.

It'll be fine. Okay?

Come on, Lyn!

Go Lyn! Go Lyn!

Go Lyn, go Lyn, go Lyn!

It's okay to be embarrassed

by your mother.

Come on, Sigrid! Come on!