02x07 - The Real Glitch Techs

[bunniefuu]

[engine roaring]

[automated voice] Glitch signatures

detected.

Whoa, check it out, you guys.

We got a whole bunch of glitch signatures

over on Stanz Avenue!

Ooh, what's it look like, cap?

Zombie hoard? Orc army? The flood?

Actually, they're--

-[screams]

-[tires screech]

Oh, no.

Them.

[all meowing]

I want to take them home and

cuddle-crush them until their eyes burst.

They're from Itty Bitty Kitty Collector,

my favorite kitty collection game!

My number two being

Litter Glitter Kittysitter, obvi.

-[giggles]

-Of course you love those games.

Just like this patrol,

they're a complete waste of time.

Wait! Do you see a tan kitty

with a pat of butter on its head?

[Miko] Let's see.

Sushi, Fez, Whip Cream Dollop,

Paper Crown

There's one rare kitty named

Pancake who's worth a ton of XP.

Pancake McGuffin?

[chuckles] Please, that cat

is an urban legend.

I tried using every squeak toy in the game

and never once got her to show up.

I thought you hated this game.

It was free to play.

At first.

[Five] They're getting away. Split up!

[meowing]

[meowing]

Smile for the gauntlet, purr-box!

Glitch contained.

Looks like we're

on the edge of town, guys.

What if these glitches

cross the border into Dabney?

[Mitch] Then they become a problem for the

Dabney Glitch Techs.

Wouldn't we just work with them?

[Mitch on radio] Phil's rules on this

are clear, newbie.

We are not to poach glitches

from across town lines.

[sighs] Okay.

Huh?

[meows]

Pancake! The legend is real!

Gotcha! [grunts]

Come on, where'd you go, Pancake?

[meows]

No, no, no. Not that way, kitty.

You don't wanna go to Dabney.

You wanna come with me to Bailley.

[speaking Spanish]

-[meowing]

-[Five] Oh, nerds.

Nerds, another tech van.

[automated voice] Now entering

Dabney city limits.

[meows]

[Miko on radio] Five?

Five, did we lose you?

Just a sec. I'm, uh just finishing up.

[giggles nervously]

You're mine, kitty!

-Yeah! Oh

-[automated voice] Glitch contained.

[grunts]

[panting]

Yes!

[softly] I mean yes.

I did it, I did it, I did it Oh!

Did what, exactly?

Read it and weep, Williams.

I just bagged Pancake McGuffin! Ding!

After what I told you about not

poaching from the Dabney techs?

I didn't poach.

You ignored my warning and decided

to ninja a rare glitch

from out under another tech team's patrol.

Hey, it started on our turf.

Hmm, well, maybe you aren't the hopeless

goody-two-shoes I always thought you were.

There you are!

Okay, I bagged three Missus Mittens,

two Buckaroo Catseyes and a Doctor Mew.

What are we talking about?

Nothing. Let's just go.

[Miko] Five, wait up!

[man] Who knows what really happens

when a video game starts to glitch?

Here come the Glitch Techs

They know what to do ♪

They got the tech

They got the moves ♪

Glitch Techs

They're the wrecking crew ♪

They'll solve the problem ♪

Glitch Techs

When a glitch is loose ♪

They'll wipe them out

Old school or new ♪

Glitch Techs

Always coming through ♪

To solve the problem ♪

Glitch Techs

Whoa-oh! ♪

Glitch Techs! ♪

Yeah! ♪

[Phil] I can't afford to lose this battle.

I'm gonna need you to give me 100%.

Can you deliver?

Yes, we deliver.

-I want a number five!

-Extra cheese, please.

Do they make protein-style pasta?

Uh, this is not a communal order.

Extra secret sauce on mine.

Hold on, hold on.

There's a secret sauce?

Hey! No one told me about a secret sauce.

Sir, you are receiving

an incoming call from

Joan Fishback.

[groans] From the Dabney branch?

Tell her I'm not here, BITT.

Don't try hiding behind your techbot,

garbage head.

[chuckles nervously] Joan.

Long time no talk.

Just the way I like it.

Let me cut to the chase, Philbert.

My team picked up

an ultra-rare glitch signature

at the town border this morning

-[Five whimpers]

-That's great.

I deeply care about--

but it was sniped out from underneath

them by one of your misfit crew.

Joansy, let's not start this again.

Unlike your bag of Dabney hooligans,

my techs follow the rules.

-[Five whimpers]

-My techs respect our town borders.

And my techs don't need

your second-hand glitches.

[clerk] Uh, do you wanna add an extra carb

or starch for another 59 cents?

Oh, great, now I have to re-order.

Your team really glitched up

on this one, Phil.

Have you even asked

the little angels about it?

I don't have to ask.

I'm aware of everything my techs do.

What have you guys been doing?

Anyone bag a glitch outside town?

-Nopes!

-Negativo.

Certainly not.

Um, I can't actually find a rule

in the tech handbook that says--

Good, the last thing I need

is a turf w*r on my hands.

So as I was saying, without interruption,

my kids are innocent.

Oh, glitch poop.

Someone's jaw is clenched

and I want it pried open.

-Uh

-Good catching up with you, J-Bird.

This is not over, Phil.

My techs will have justice!

We will savor its flavor

like secret sauce!

Even Joan knows about the secret sauce?

I should have brown-bagged it today.

Looks like you got away with the

perfect crime, newbie.

-Why didn't you say anything?

-[chuckles] What fun would that be?

Okay, techs.

Satellite's trackin' three class-five

sludges from the game Smooze Brothers

at various hotspots in town.

Slow-moving signatures,

multiple weak points.

Easy-peasy-slimy-sleazy.

To quote my grandpa,

it moves slower than molasses.

[Phil] Just like in their game,

the sludges are drawn toward one another.

Take 'em down before

they can merge together and level up.

[kids laughing]

-[beeping]

-[exploding]

Hey! Recess is over.

Grab a buddy and get thee to a carpool.

Ugh, so much goo. So little time.

On the front lines, blueberries.

I don't want that stuff in my hair.

[Five] Let's earn our XP, guys!

[indistinct roaring]

[growls]

-Zahra, crowd control!

-Yep, yep!

[Zahra] Five seconds!

-Miko, melee strike!

-On it.

[chuckles] Tank you very much!

No puns, ugh.

Five, ranged strike.

I think that can be a-ranged sorry.

This thing has shields?

That wasn't the glitch.

We've got adds! Ready, aim

Hold!

[wicked heavy metal playing]

[exclaiming]

[Five] They're Glitch Techs?

[Nameless] Take it out.

[growling]

-[Five gasps]

-Incoming!

[all yelp]

No!

[glitch screeching]

[automated voice] Glitch contained.

Hey! That was our glitch!

Who do you clowns think you are?

We're the real Glitch Techs.

[man exclaiming in Japanese]

[chuckles lightly] I'm sorry, come again?

Your costumes are blinding me.

-I'm Wes.

-Ray.

'Sup, guys?

Simi? I thought you transferred

over to the Dabney store.

They're all from the Dabney store.

[Nameless] So which one of you

is the glitch thief, huh? Huh?

I need an answer.

Nameless needs an answer.

[gulps]

[chuckles] Hang on. "Nameless"? Ha!

Is that a joke,

or did you forget to enter one

when you created that ridiculous avatar?

It was a rare glitch, you guys.

Would have been worth a ton of XP.

Our boss already told your boss.

Nobody took anything from you.

Heat signatures don't lie.

I captured this still from my visor.

[Five] Guys, we're all techs.

Shouldn't we all be on the same team?

[Nameless] Do I hear guilt or is he always

this much of a goody-two-shoes?

They don't come much goodier.

Well, I

And Earth to Ray, your blurry,

bigfoot evidence is super unacceptable.

Ugh, so nobody's gonna fess up?

Looks like there's nothing to fess.

Fine. Then from now on,

I guess it's open season on glitches.

-Techs, assemble and roll out!

-[voice exclaiming] Yeah!

[Miko] Is he kidding with that?

Uh, what does "open season" mean?

[automated voice] Warning,

Trojan virus detected.

[all groan]

Those punks hacked our gauntlets!

It means those techs

aren't leaving town anytime soon.

[grunting]

[Miko] Ugh! Should we call Philbert

and tell him what those creeps did?

I'm sure we don't need to bother Phil.

We took a glitch from Dabney and they took

a glitch from us. We're even now, right?

Only we didn't take a glitch.

Right, uh, I just meant--

Which makes them the real glitch thieves!

If anyone should be declaring open season,

it's us!

Look sharp, we're coming up on that

second sludge glitch location.

[tires screech]

[horn honks]

[honking continues]

[Nameless scoffs]

Sorry, techs, that glitch is ours!

[all yelping]

-[Nameless chuckles]

-[tires screech]

Mitchell, you know what to do.

Hold on to your mushrooms.

[engine revving]

[Miko screaming]

[chiptune music playing]

[horns honking]

[Miko grunting]

[tires screeching]

[growling]

[tires screeching]

[growling]

Wow. That thing sounds like Mitch

playing Karaoke Hero.

Hey, I unlocked the golden throat

achievement in that game.

You're gonna have a golden everything

in a second!

-Five?

-It's slime-time, partner!

-[tires screeching]

-[Zahra] Didn't we shake that mob?

Got a signal on them, Wes?

[chuckles lightly] You know I do.

Forget them.

Just lock your emitters on one

-two

-three!

[growls]

Oh, come on!

Seriously?

[Nameless chuckles] Looks like you techs

need to get your gauntlets serviced!

-Oh!

-[all laugh]

[Simi] Hope you got the extended warranty!

[chuckles] I am sick of these griefers!

Yeah, y'all are Class A cheaters!

You're not allowed to hack another

tech's gauntlet! [blows raspberry]

We would never do that.

[chuckles lightly] Well, she wouldn't.

She never learned how.

Get over yourself, Wes.

[Nameless] Ugh, will you two

just bag that glitch?

[automated voice] Glitch contained.

Hey! You already took a glitch from us!

What more do you trolls want?

We want the truth. And we're gonna

shadow your team until we get it.

Fine! You really want the truth?

The truth is you lot can't hack it

in Dabney,

so you're trolling newbies

instead of patrolling your turf!

Are you insulting us or them?

If I did it right, both.

Hey, one last sludge glitch

on the radar, guys.

We'll be three for three.

Not if we get there first!

You won't.

[Nameless] Okay, techs,

assemble and roll out!

[tires screeching]

[Miko] Pick one battlecry

to rip off, dude!

[all grunt]

This is getting out of hand.

We gotta put an end to this feud.

We will

by showing those out-of-towners

who the real Glitch Techs really are!

Won't that just make it worse?

I'm Mitch Williams.

I don't want to agree with Mitch,

but I agree with Mitch.

Even if he did steal their glitch.

You think I stole their glitch?

I wasn't gonna say,

-but it seems a pretty Mitchy thing to do.

-[Five whimpers]

Well, if you say so.

Now, come on, techs.

Let's transform and cowabunga.

Miko, wait up.

There's something I have to tell you.

Can it wait? We gotta beat those guys

to the next glitch.

I know, but

what if those guys

didn't actually start this?

Dude, who cares?

They hacked our gauntlets.

They accused you of stealing that glitch.

-I know, but--

-You of all people.

I mean, if you took something

you would have at least told me.

I'm your partner.

Besides, if those guys

mess with one of us,

they mess with all of us. Am I right?

[Mitch] Hey!

Close that chat window

and get in, you two.

Zahra has a plan to get our glitches back.

And it's epic.

[epic chiptune metal music playing]

[growls]

[grunts]

[Nameless yells and grunts]

[grunts]

[yells and grunts]

-[automated voice] Glitch contained.

-[horn honks]

[tires screech]

[Nameless] Aww, too late.

Looks like we already bagged

the last glitch on your grocery list.

[laughs]

I think you have something

that belongs to us.

[Nameless] Wesley, what's happening?

[automated voice]

Warning, wireless hack initiated.

One of them must be a tech rogue, too.

Oh, yeah, not the only one who maxed out

their tech hacking skills, son!

[automated voice]

Now reconstituting glitch data.

You were supposed to download

their glitches straight to our gauntlets.

I'd like to see how accurate you are

at hacking a tech gauntlet

from the back of a moving van!

Now it's open season, glitches!

[screeching]

[Phil on recording] The sludges are

drawn toward one another.

Take 'em down before they can

merge together and level up.

[echoing] Level up, level up

Secret sauce.

[echoing] Secret sauce, secret sauce

Do not let them touch each other!

[Nameless] Back off! This one's ours!

[Mitch screams]

You really need to chill-- [grunts]

[glitch growls]

-[scoffs] Chill out?

-[Zahra screams]

[Zahra and Wes grunt]

[grunts]

-[all grunting]

-[Five] Guys?

Come on, focus on the glitch!

[Mitch grunts]

[growling]

[panting]

Oh, no!

[Nameless grunts]

-Admit the truth.

-[Five grunts]

[Nameless] We know you took it.

Why are you all so hard stuck on this?

Why can't all you just own up?

For the last time,

nobody stole anything from your--

It was me, okay? I did it.

I stole Pancake McGuffin.

And there it is.

[meowing]

[Miko] Dude!

[Zahra] Wait, so you stole it from Mitch

after he stole it?

[Mitch] Are you seriously?

It escaped from our town.

I was one foot over the line.

And where does it say we can't catch

glitches in each other's towns anyway?

[meowing]

[screams]

[roars]

-[belching loudly]

-[Pancake McGuffin meowing]

-Great, now, nobody gets it.

-I'm sorry, okay?

I should have confessed from the start.

Now, can we please work together on this?

Glitch Techs is supposed to be

a team, isn't it?

[groans] Such a goody-goody.

[Nameless] Techs,

give me a tactical estimate.

[Miko] Looks like we're starting

a co-op game.

[Wes] Step-lock shows

four potential weak points.

-Gonna have to surround them.

-[Mitch] Ready!

'Kay! Let's take 'em down!

For Pancake McGuffin!

[all] For Pancake!

-[epic chiptune music resumes]

-[roaring]

[Miko yells]

[roars]

Wow! Show me how to do that charge?

If you show me how to wield

that two-handed strike.

Got anything up that gauntlet

besides party tricks?

[automated voice] Buff unlocked, Tri-Shot.

-Give this a try.

-More buffs, less puns.

[roars]

Ugh, please don't tell me

you expect us to bond.

Yeah, can you stop talking?

I'm trying to kick butt

and look good doing it.

[automated voice] Hidden achievement

unlocked, Silent Bond.

[roars]

[Five] Our turn now?

[Nameless] Plenty of XP to go around.

Just what are your techs doing in my town,

Joan of Snark?

Probably cleaning up a mess

your techs made,

Philsbury Dough Guy.

[both growl]

[Nameless] You've sniped your last

legendary kitty spawn, you sludgeball!

[Five] Wait. You play Kitty Collector?

[Nameless] Yeah!

It's my number one kitty collection game.

My number two

being Litter Glitter Kittysitter, obvi.

[Five laughs] Obvi!

[glitch roars]

[Nameless] The root forms are exposed.

Gauntlets up.

-All together!

-[all grunt]

[glitch roars]

[gauntlets chiming]

[automated voice] Glitch contained.

Oh, boy.

Ugh.

[Phil] So, Joan

apparently you were not all that incorrect

on the facts regarding my techs' role

in your missing glitch situation.

Good gravy, Philsy.

Was that your best apology?

And yes.

Can you guys please explain

where in the rules it says

techs can't catch glitches in other towns?

Oh, it's not in the rulebook.

[all] It's not?

It's kind of a house rule Joansy

and I came up with back in the day.

To keep techs like Phil

from stealing other techs' glitches.

I did not steal Kodama. He came to me.

After you lured him from me!

You want me to say I stole him, Joan?

Fine! I stole him from you.

[Kodama giggles] Dama!

-Dama, dama, dama

-[Joan] Wow.

That must have been hard to say

after all this time, Phil.

[Kodama] Dama!

[laughs]

And I feel bad

about breaking up this little

whatever this is supposed to be.

-Thanks, Joansy.

-[Kodama yelps]

[automated voice] Glitch contained.

So don't you ever put me

in this position again.

Okay, team, let's bonzai and yo jo!

Wait a minute. Come on, Joan.

Can't we talk about this?

Sorry I didn't tell you what I did, Miko.

Ah, don't sweat it, partner.

You know I always got your back.

[beeping]

[automated voice] Glitch detected.

Is that you guys or us?

[Nameless scoffs] Does it matter?

-Glitch

-[all] Techs!

[chiptune music playing]