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01x07 - Collection Quest

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Glitch Techs". Aired: February 21 – August 17, 2020.*
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Centers on teens Hector "(High) Five" Nieves and Miko "Me_K.O." Kubota in the city of Bailley, where a group of people is secretly dealing with glitches that cause video game characters to manifest as energy beings into the real world.

01x07 - Collection Quest

Post by bunniefuu »

[indistinct chatter]

[exclaims]

Hey, are all of you here for the--

Back of the line, string bean!

I'm not cutting ahead, I swear.

I actually work here.

Bring me three pairs!

Whatever they're paying you,

I'll double it!

[Five grunting] Coming through.

No, guys, be cool.

Here's your voucher.

Thanks for shopping Hinobi.

Hey, guys, it's--

-Get back in line, creeper!

-[price g*n beeping]

Zahra, it's me!

Folks, we've got

a special today on tall kids.

Buy now,

and we'll throw in a free hairnet.

Sorry, Five.

Since the sneakers went on sale,

this crowd's had us all on edge--

Hey! Hey! Limit one per customer!

Why do people waste time lining up here

when they can just preorder online

like I did?

Wait. Didn't I?

Okay, finding my kicks, carting my kicks

and preordering my--

[cell phone ringing]

'Sup, Miko?

Five, there's an old dude at the bus stop

who looks just like the wizard

from Ring of the Lords!

Whoa! I wanna see!

I didn't preorder!

Uh, Phil, hold one pair for me.

That's the last of 'em, you vultures.

We are sold out!

[groans]

Mitch set aside four pair.

-He did?

-[Mitch] That's right.

Two for me, two to sell,

one to stock and one to rock.

[laughs]

Wanna buy a pair?

I'll give you a nice friend discount.

Wow, thanks, Mitch!

That'll be $600.

That's like three times more!

Meh. We're not great friends.

[Miko] Still glum

over those cool shoes, chum?

-You'll find another pair.

-"Another pair"?

These were limited edition, Miko.

The rarest and most exclusive kind

of fan merch.

Then what's BITT got over there?

[exclaims]

What are you doing with that, BITT?

Depositing it

into the Glitch Tech loot locker.

I thought the locker

was just for upgrading Glitch Tech gear.

Gear, armor, power-ups and company swag.

All purchasable by redeeming

your Glitch Tech experience points.

Yeah!

One pair left,

and it costs XP instead of money?

Snipe it before someone else does!

[automated voice] I'm sorry,

you do not have enough XP

to purchase this item.

250,000?

It would take a month of missions

to grind that much XP.

[automated voice] Now depositing

250,000 XP.

-Berg-ster!

-Bergie-meister!

-Berg-dawg!

-Robo-Berger!

-The Bergs!

-Hey, guys.

Dude, how'd you earn that much XP?

Well, low-level quests

may not be that exciting,

but they do add up.

I'm just one more quest away

from earning an achievement.

See?

It's a timed quest

to recover a bunch of glitched gems

that are hidden all over town.

I love gems.

They smash so pretty when you blast 'em.

Yeah, I've wanted to complete that one

for a while now,

but, unfortunately,

it requires more than one Tech.

Aww. Grinding low-level missions

like a bunch of blueberries, are we?

What do you care?

I don't have time to care.

I'm too busy earning my XP

by taking out bosses.

Like a boss.

Not all missions

are about taking down bosses, Mitch.

Just the awesome ones.

Boosh!

Bergy, I need 250,000 XP,

and I need it fast.

If we team up to finish that quest

I'll earn the achievement.

You can have the XP

And I'll get to pulverize all the gems!

Only my sister Nica and I

are supposed to fake bond today.

"Fake bond"?

Yeah. Mom likes us to spend time together,

so she schedules

these little playdates for us.

But they usually fall apart

pretty quickly.

Meet you guys in ten?

Okay. I'll put on my lucky quest socks!

Quest! Quest!

[all chanting] Quest! Quest!

Quest! Quest! Quest! Quest! Quest! Quest!

[electronic fanfare playing]

-Hey, sis!

-'Sup?

So, what do you girls have planned?

-Sister stuff. Pedi!

-Movie!

-Movie-pedi.

-Hair braiding.

-Sharing secrets.

-Sister stuff.

Fun. Just one new rule:

I want you to send me selfies

of you both together every ten minutes.

-Selfies?

-Together?

Or you're grounded.

[both] Yes, Mama.

Pics, or it didn't happen, girls.

[horn honking]

Ugh. Man, she's good.

Let's just roll with it.

Come on. It'll be like old times.

Fine. Just do not humiliate me.

Wow, dramatic much? I am not gonna--

[Five and Bergy chanting] Quest! Quest!

Quest! Quest! Quest! Quest! Quest!

[both laughing]

[singsong] Quest.

Miko, the party's about to begin.

-The adventure party.

-[both giggle]

I may be longer than I thought, guys.

Remember my sister Nica?

Nica?

Ugh! Catch you guys later.

-[Five] Okay, bye.

-[Bergy] All right, see ya.

[both] Q-U-E-S-T!

Let's all go and earn XP!

[cat meows]

[theme song playing]

[man] Who knows what really happens

when a video game starts to glitch?

Here come the Glitch Techs

They know what to do ♪

They got the tech

They got the moves ♪

Glitch Techs

They're the wrecking crew ♪

They'll solve the problem ♪

Glitch Techs

When a glitch is loose ♪

They'll wipe them out

Old school or new ♪

Glitch Techs

Always coming through ♪

To solve the problem ♪

Glitch Techs

Whoa! ♪

Glitch Techs! ♪

Yeah! ♪

[Five and Bergy chanting]

Quest! Quest! Quest!

Quest! Quest! Quest! Quest! Quest!

[automated voice] You have arrived

at your quest waypoint.

The first stage

of our first quest together.

Let's savor this moment.

Okay, now how do we find the gems?

If they were in plain sight,

people would have noticed them, right?

Right.

Our gear should give us

their general locations,

-but the rest will be trial and error.

-[device beeping]

[automated voice]

Glitch signature detected.

-Ready to start the quest timer, HF?

-Ready, B.

[automated voice] Quest timer started.

Thirty minutes and counting

[both] Quest begin!

[Sabrina humming]

-Here, glitchy, glitchy, glitchy.

-[device beeping]

Huh? Whoa!

[pants]

-Here, glitchy, glitchy, glitchy.

-[device beeping]

[Sabrina humming]

-[device beeping]

-Hmm.

I think I found something.

I got a signal from the

-[hisses]

-[exclaims]

[snoring]

-Reptile section.

-[device beeping]

[beeping accelerates]

Turtles. Why did it have to be

[chuckles] JK. I love these guys.

What's up, guys?

Do any look like glitches?

Check for martial weapons and bandanas.

Uh, nopes. Nothin'.

Uh, any of you guys hiding a gem in there?

-[snarls]

-[exclaims]

Bergy, I found the glitch!

[exclaiming]

You take left! I'll take right!

Right! I mean, left!

Ugh, I can't even target this thing!

You don't try to blast

a glitched turtle shell, you try to--

Whoo-hoo!

See? She gets it.

[automated voice] Gem acquired.

Yes! 26 minutes on the timer!

-[Five] Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!

-[Bergy] Yes! Yeah!

Wait, wait. Um, do we reset the kid?

[scoffs] What harm could she do? Let's go.

Okay.

[gasps]

Sabrina? Sabrina? Where did you

[in slow motion] Sabrina!

[Miko] The CPU's connected

To the Jamma board ♪

The Jamma board's connected

To the power supply ♪

The power supply's connected

To the everything ♪

Nica, help me out, okay?

Pull the bunny out

and then whack it, okay?

Miko, please come out from under there.

People are going to notice us.

Hang on. I almost got this.

Boom! Back in order!

Care for a first play?

Nica? Nica? Hello?

We gotta get out of here.

Come on!

I laid in used gum to fix this thing!

[sighs] I don't have time for games, Miko.

Oh? So what are you always messing with

on your smartphone?

Apps.

Hmm. Come on. What about the ball pit?

You love the ball pit.

I do not love the--

[mumbles]

Stop it.

Ball pit!

Gross, Miko! Now come on.

Ball pit!

-Argh!

-[grunts]

Oh, it's on!

-Ready, set, jump!

-[both laughing]

-[cell phone chiming]

-[Nica gasps]

-Ten-minute timer.

-Selfie time!

[camera shutter clicks]

-Great. Thanks a lot, Miko.

-What?

[teenagers muttering]

Why do you care

if some kids see you, anyway?

Why do I care?

See this poor kid?

I don't even remember her name,

because everyone at school

just calls her frog tongue.

She yawned in class,

and a fly flew in her mouth.

So everyone posted a pic of it

all over sosh meds.

People at school are always watching,

waiting for you to mess up.

Because as long as they're busy

laughing at you,

nobody is laughing at them.

That is insane.

That is high school.

Fine, Nica, do what you want.

I'm gonna go meet up with my friends.

But Mom will ground us.

You'd love that.

Holed up indoors where nobody can see us.

I'm serious, Miko. Come back.

-[chuckles]

-Ugh!

-[device beeping]

-Any signal?

Hmm, it's faint,

but the next one should be right

[both] Here!

-[Five] Wow. Cool mural.

-[device beeping]

It's kind of weird

that you can't see it from the street.

-Definite glitch signature up here

-Hmm.

but I'm getting some interference. Hmm.

-[grunting]

-Keep your eyes peeled.

It may be hiding in plain sight.

Let's have a signal.

Like, if one of us sees something glitchy,

we could make a noise

to each other, like

[grunts] Help!

Nah, that's a bit obvious.

Maybe something more subtle, like

-[Five grunting]

-Whoa!

I got your back, buddy!

[grunting and yelling]

-Okay, now you get my back!

-Got it!

[exclaims]

Cool!

[automated voice] Gems acquired.

Questiny is our destiny!

Quest buddy handshake!

[both laugh]

[gauntlet chiming]

Five, Bergy, where are you guys?

Headed to the next quest point.

You wanna join up?

Oh, yeah! Uh, there's just one thing

Come on, Miko, you can't bring

your older sister on a mission.

We're sort of a package deal right now.

[Bergy] Uh, the next signal's

inside, guys!

[device beeping]

Fifteen minutes left. Uh

Okay, fine. She can come.

Let's just hurry up!

[device beeping]

[Nica] So, what are you guys

looking for in here?

Oh, we'll know it when we see it--

Ow!

That's something, all right.

[knocks]

[grunting] Hmm.

Whoa! Now you see 'em now you don't!

These plixel objects are frozen in stasis,

like a paused game.

I can't see anything, you guys.

That's because these 3-D models

have no skins on them.

Ew.

He means these objects don't have

any graphics layers turned on.

Uh Miko, you're

[Miko grunts]

Don't freak out, sis.

It's weird, but it's also science.

[grunts]

They're interactive!

Whoa! I can see them. I see them!

How is all this real?

Let's just say it's technical.

Hey, I'm not finding any gems here.

Uh, the timer's still ticking, Bergy.

Where are the gems?

These blocks seem familiar somehow.

[cell phone chimes]

Miko, selfie time!

Ugh! Coming.

Oh! I always wanted to be a photo b*mb!

Come on, guys.

We're on a quest timer over here.

[camera shutter clicks]

Ugh, I need more XP

if I'm gonna get those shoes.

Come on. Where are the dang gems?

Hmm

[blocks creaking]

[Five] Aah-aah!

[Nica and Miko screaming]

[laughing] That was awesome!

[laughing]

Ugh! It's not funny, Miko!

[continues laughing]

You look like Santa Claus!

-Yeah, well

-[continues laughing]

you look like you lost a fight

with a 100-foot marshmallow.

[both laughing]

[girl] Hey, Nica!

-You've got to be kidding me.

-[camera shutters click]

[all snickering]

Wow. Everyone really is watching you.

[cell phone chiming]

Uh you may not wanna

go on sosh meds for a little while.

I want to find the nearest hole

in the ground and throw myself in it.

Hey! You guys!

We found a hole in the ground!

Whoa!

Whoa!

[Miko] You guys found a bonus level?

They're beautiful.

It's a treasure room!

[Bergy] They're worth a ton of XP!

[Five] There's more than enough here

to buy limited-edition sneakers.

There's enough to buy

all the limited-edition everythings!

Oh, yeah!

When I hear that pop, I just can't stop!

Three minutes left, g*ng.

Farm all the XP you can.

[electronic fanfare playing]

[chiptune music playing]

[laughing]

[grunting]

Ha! Whoo-hoo! Mia mamma!

This gem I know this seems weird,

but I think all these things

are from a video game.

What? That's silly talk.

Guys, look! I found a big one!

[grunting] It's really in there.

[laughs]

I know that sound

Wait! Stop!

[Miko exclaims]

[grunting]

Five, isn't that the glitch

from the mural?

This quest has a hidden boss!

[Nica] Look, it's opening its mouth!

[groans]

[Miko] Uh, now would be

a good time to leave.

[all scream]

-[groans]

-You guys hold 'em off,

I've almost got this gem uncovered!

Forget the gem!

You can't spend XP

if you're a pancake, Five!

Don't worry. My man Bergy's got a plan!

Right, Bergy?

[stammers] I always wanted

to come up with a last-minute plan

in a life-or-death situation!

[timer ticking]

[both] Well?

-Uh, nothing so far.

-[both] Argh!

[Miko] We're gonna

have to blast our way out!

Come on, Five!

[groans]

Ugh! Five's gone full Gollum on me, Bergy!

[narwhalrus grunting]

Turtles. Why did it have to be turtles?

[grunting]

Blast the blocks,

or we're gonna get buried!

[chiptune music playing]

[Miko] The gauntlets are taking too long

to de-rez them.

-[Nica] Miko?

-[Miko] Not now. Fighting for life, here.

But I know what game this is!

This is Crystal Crush!

-I thought you didn't have time for games.

-It's an app!

Technically, it's both!

Now, how do we break these things?

These gems aren't treasure,

they're ammunition.

Watch! [grunts]

[both] Gamer logic!

[automated voice]

Gem projectiles equipped.

-Show us how it's done, sis!

-Hmm.

[grunting]

Not the gems! We need those!

[roaring]

I almost got it, Bergy!

-Bergy!

-Huh?

You saved me!

Actually, I think you saved me.

Quest buddy handshake?

Right after we crush some crystals.

[both grunting]

They're accelerating too fast!

[laughs] Hmm?

-Hey! Can we play, too?

-Nice to have you back, partner!

Hmm?

[Bergy] It's working!

Oh, yeah! Getting our Crystal Crush on!

[grunting]

-Uh, I'm out!

-Me, too!

[belching]

If we can hit his mouth,

we can take him out!

I've only got one gem left.

Me, too! Let's make them count.

[grunting]

[roars]

Got ya!

[groaning]

[automated voice] Quest completed.

Yeah! We did it! Yeah! We did it!

-[continues cheering]

-Your sister's got some skills, Miko.

Yeah. Who do you think

taught me how to play video games?

[Nica] Yeah! Hoo-ah!

[all chanting] Quest! Quest!

Quest! Quest! Quest! Quest! Quest!

Well, if it isn't the blueberry brigade

back from patrol.

Read it and weep, Williams.

[Mitch] What?

How'd you lowbies earn all that XP?

Oh, you know, we just defeated

your ordinary, average hidden boss

like a boss.

Ah. I guess you can bust out

a pair of limited-edition trainers

after all, newbie.

Or preorder a pair

of Hinobi's newest designer sneakers.

[Five] They're the same shoes!

The laces are slightly different, huh?

Thanks, but one pair's enough.

Suit yourself.

I've got plenty of customers.

Uh, I better go preorder.

He's worth 10 pair, easy.

You do realize

you're gonna have to explain

all that technical stuff we saw

to your big sister, don't you? [laughing]

-[laughing] Never!

-[girl] Hey, Nica!

[camera shutters click]

[teenagers laughing]

Wow. Way to make

a spectacle of yourself, sis.

Yeah. Let 'em stare, Miko.

I don't know

if I'll ever make it through high school,

but if I can survive Crystal Crush,

I can survive just about anything.

-[Bergy] Photo b*mb!

-[camera shutter clicks]

[cell phone chiming]

[theme music playing]