02x14 - Web of Lies/Kenny's Falling Star

[bunniefuu]

♪ Ordinary, ordinary guy ♪

♪ Not a soccer tycoon ♪

♪ Ordinary guy ♪

[crowd] Boo!

Oh! [grunts] Ahh!

Kenny Star,
the down-home, country crooner

has been exposed as
a rhinestone-studded sellout.

Even his loyal eagle Stripes
has had enough of him,

flown the coop!

Strenny fans are devastated!

My heart. My fragile heart.

[bat strikes ball]

[crowd booing]

[Calvin] And now
the pampered prince

has gone missing!

Well, to that I say...

have you checked
your local ivory tower?

[snickers]

Whoo! Catch a falling
Kenny Star, right?

Oh, come on, Scratch.
Don't kick a country star
when they're down.

- Eh.
- And he is down.

Like, subterranean down.

I keep telling you, sir.
We can't break a $1,000 bill.

- [Kenny groans]
- Huh?

Uh, y'all take
triple diamond cards?

- [gasps] You're Kenny Star!
- Wait, what?

No. The name's Man.
Norm L. Man.

Just a regular fellow
with absolutely nothing to hi--

Yeah, it's me.

- Kenny Star is in Brighton!
- Shh!

I'm hidin' out!

I couldn't take the paparazzi
hounding me day and night,

calling me a sellout, a fraud...

a has-been. [sniffles]

[sobbing]

Molly! Make it stop!

- [blows nose]
- [Scratch] You know I'm allergic

to emotional vulnerability.

Gonna black out!

Uh, there, there, Mr. Star.
It'll be okay.

"Okay"?
Nothing is okay, okay?

I lost everything.
My agent, my fans...

[sniffles] ...my eagle.

They say I've lost touch
with the real world,

sold out to a life of luxury.

Might as well hang up
your platinum spurs, Kenny.

Your career's over.

Ooh! Kenny Star's tears?

Do you know how much
this stuff sells for

once a celebrity's career
joins the ghost world?

- Get him to sign it for me!
- What?! No!

I mean, no, you're Kenny Star.

You can't just give up!

You just need to reconnect
to your country roots!

Right? And what
better place to do that

than humble old Brighton?

You know what,
precocious little girl?

That ain't a half-bad idea!

Now point me in the direction

of your swankiest
penthouse suite!

[racoons chittering]

Your room will be ready
in a jiff.

Just gotta take care of a little

infestation problem first.
[chuckles]

- Down! Stay down!
- [chittering continues]

You know, you can
just stay at my house.

Whoa! The guest bathroom

in my third villa in Zurich
is bigger than this.

Well, this is the kind of
roughing it ordinary folks do.

But we're classy.
Have a mint.

- Ooh. [grunts]
- [grunts]

A real country star
sleeping under our roof.

This is a sign,
Fate whispering, "Sharon,

it's not too late to pursue
that music career."

Uh, what?

Good morning, Mr. Star.
Coaster?

Silly me. That's not a coaster.

It's my old demo.

How'd that get here? Crazy!

You know what'd be fun?

What if we listen to it
and then we got to--

Uh, that'll stop the
condensation just fine, ma'am.

- Excuse me, garçon?
- Uh, my name's Pete.

Or Dad.

Actually, just call me Pete.

Otherwise, it could get weird.

- [yelps]
- [Kenny] I'll take my usual

egg-white frittata
with black truffles

and a green-tea frappe
with a splash of soy,

a dusting of matcha and--

Hup! You aren't gonna win
your fans' hearts

with personal chefs
or fancy orders.

It's oatmeal for you, buddy!

Okay, I'll just
stick with coffee.

Hey! Where's my mug?

This Kenny Star merch is
flying off the digital shelves!

I mean, the chest hair,
the mug,

the cashmere undies--
sold, baby!

Some mysterious superfan
keeps outbidding everyone!

We are gonna make
so much money!

This sure seems like an odd
place to work on our tans.

"Tans"? We're here
for good, honest farmwork!

Remember your song,
"Backbreaking Basics"?

[chuckles] Of course!
The royalties from that number

bought my bungalow in Barcelona.

Okay, you gotta stop talking
about Barcelona.

That song was all about
connecting with the land.

So roll up your sleeves,

and get those hands dirty!

If this is what I gotta do
to revive my career...

[grunts]

Oh! [grunts]

Uh, look at you!

Connecting with the land.

Right? [chuckles]

[country song playing]

♪ I got the sun on my back ♪

♪ Country air in my lungs ♪

♪ I don't need nothin'
But a hammer ♪

♪ And some ice for my thumb ♪

♪ I'm smilin'
For the first time ♪

♪ Since I don't know when ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm feelin' like
My old self again ♪

[whispering] That's a male.

[grunts]

♪ I'm workin' the land
I'm fishin' the lake ♪

♪ I still remember
How to drive ♪

- ♪ I just forgot how to brake ♪
- Wait, what?

♪ Sure I miss the view
From my veranda in Spain ♪

♪ But I'm feelin' like
My old self again ♪

Eyes on the road!

♪ No more caviar food fights ♪

♪ Those days are gone ♪

♪ No more topiary sculptures
Of myself on the lawn ♪

♪ I'm gettin' back
To my roots ♪

♪ He's gettin' poop
On his boots ♪

♪ And I'm feelin' like
My old self again ♪

♪ Feelin' like
My old self again ♪

Whew! Here you go, Sam.

Picked these turnips myself!

Hoo-whee!

Why, I have enough here
to feed the entire diner.

- Turnips for everyone!
- [cheering]

Pam! You and the missus
getting away this weekend?

Larry! Hear you got
a new litter of skunks!

Hey! Look at you!

A real man of the people again.

Hey, I am, aren't I?

Who knew a humble root vegetable

would help me
find my roots again?

You had it in you
this whole time.

You just had to dig deep.
Literally! [chuckles]

Well, here you are.
My special turnip omelettes.

With turnip on top.

Oh, great.

No one really likes turnips,
do they?

Uh...

Hey! Didn't I have a fork?

How much can we get for this?

Now, he didn't lick it,

but he did breathe on it,
and I--

- Uh...
- What?

I think I figured out
who bought all that Kenny merch.

[tires screech]

We know you're in there, Kenny!

I mean, if you didn't
want us to find you

in Britton, Brighton?
Where are we? Ah, who cares.

You shouldn't have
left your return address

on all that merchandise
you sold me!

Molly can't ever find out
about this.

We're in this together,
right, Scratch?

- Scratch?
- [shutters click]

[groans] Darryl!
And most likely Scratch!

Uh, moi?

I've been here
the whole time, okay?

No, no, no, no, no!

The paparazzi!
They found me!

I can't face 'em again!

- I gotta get out of town.
- Or...

you could show them
who Kenny Star really is.

Molly, you're right!

Yes, I am.
And, Mom, you're gonna help.

Nothing! I thought Kenny
might have dropped this

'cause maybe he wanted
to listen to it later.

And m-- Wait, what?
I can help?

[crowd murmuring]

- [clears throat]
- [mic feedback]

Oh, heh-heh,

thank you for being here.

Even if some of you
only came to witness

the tragic downfall
of a country icon.

Bring out
the diamond-studded sellout!

But... that is not
what you're gonna get!

Give it up for everyone's
favorite ordinary guy...

Kenny Star!

[man coughs]

Many of you accused me
of losing touch with my roots.

And you were right.

But much like a turnip,

my roots run deep.

♪ Somewhere in between the
Limousines and my ski chalets ♪

♪ I got myself
All turned around ♪

♪ I lost my way ♪

♪ But I finally felt
Like me again ♪

♪ These last couple days ♪

♪ Right here ♪

♪ It's clear that... ♪

♪ Small Town, America
Is where I belong ♪

♪ Small Town, America
Where the love is so strong ♪

♪ All the lights in L.A. ♪

♪ Make it hard to see stars ♪

♪ Lucky this small town
Is ours ♪

♪ Out here
The sun rises slow ♪

♪ Over the barns on the hill ♪

♪ And there's always
A turnip pie ♪

♪ Coolin' on some windowsill ♪

♪ Strangers lend a hand ♪

♪ To clean
Your chili dog spill ♪

♪ And that's why you and I ♪

♪ Live out here in... ♪

- ♪ Small Town, America ♪
- [crowd cheering]

♪ Where I'll remain ♪

♪ No, I don't wanna go
To Monaco or Tokyo again ♪

♪ I wanna sit out back
Singing ♪

♪ While the kids go swinging ♪

♪ And we all come running ♪

♪ Once we hear that
Dinner bell ringing ♪

[triangle ringing]

♪ In Small Town, America ♪

- ♪ Small Town, America ♪
- [cheering]

Dude, can you agree
Kenny's crushing it?

How could he afford all this?

Oh, I used all the money

you two made off selling
his stuff.

What?! All our hard work!

That's an invasion
of our invasion of privacy!

♪ Lucky that this small town
Is ours ♪

- [cheering]
- Yes!

Kenny's star is
shining bright again!

Ignore the haters, Kenny!

I never doubted you!

Thank you, thank you.

I'm humbled.

[screeching]

Stripes, you came back!

[squawks]

Strenny reunited?

My heart! My happy heart!

Thanks for helping me
reconnect to my roots

and my music.

Couldn't have done it
without you, Molly! Hyah!

[Molly]
There goes an ordinary guy.

Flying out of town
on the back of a giant eagle.

That's not ordinary, Molly!

- Is it not?
- No.

- I think I've spent
too much time with him.
- Yeah.

But that song, huh? What a bop.

♪ The Ghost and Molly McGee ♪

[theme music playing]