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01x03 - Let Freedom Freak

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Pause with Sam Jay". Aired: May 21, 2021 – July 8, 2022.*
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Each episode takes place in a house party, where comedian Sam Jay talks to guests over drinks about the episode's central topic.

01x03 - Let Freedom Freak

Post by bunniefuu »

- Yo! What's good?

- Here they go, here they go.

- I'm a do-rag n*gga,

but I'm wavy.

You--you just a do-rag n*gga.

- Yeah, that's it.

-

- Wait, you're never gonna

drop them?

- It's gonna be a reveal.

- Oh.

- Yeah, I'm going to do it

on "Fallon."

- I'ma drink

until somebody thinks

I look good enough to f*ck.

- Yeah, you need to relax.

- I'm not

- You look like Bernie Sanders.

Like, n*gga, they gonna

kick you out of Judaism.

- Bernie Sanders

is, like, excommunicated.

- Yeah, they're going

to be like, "Nah.

Give us back your yarmulke,

b*tch."

It's weird to have somebody

in your house that you f*ck to.

Like, I f*ck to your music.

- That's love, though.

- No.

I don't want to catch you

by the bathroom

singing to my lady.

- I'ma stay over here

all night.

- I'm staying over here

all night.

- Where you are,

you know what I mean?

- Yeah.

- You could look at, like,

even white men and go, "Oh,

they are the most powerful,

and they're probably

the most free."

No, they got their own, like,

"weird white men boxes"

that they're--

they're trapped in.

You can't listen to Paris

about women.

She's terrible.

- That is a lie.

- She is a Gemini, number one.

I was already--

- Oh, she a Gemini.

I understand.

- It's like, "Oh, yeah,

so if they'll do that to

- I know.

- "A white woman,

you know what they'll do

to everybody else."

- Oh, they come for anybody.

- Yes, yeah.

- Once they take

a white woman's hand, n*gga,

no one's talking.

- Yeah.

- n*gg*s also just

don't like to see

m*therf*ckers doing

something different.

The n*gga's, like,

a hammering a*s n*gga,

and then the next day,

he's like,

"Yo, you know what

I really do?"

n*gga.

"You know what

I'm really about?"

- I draw.

- I be acting.

You be like, "Hold on, bro."

- I'm saying that Sam has been

Sam for over a decade now.

- Why you keep making

your arms like that

when you say sh*t like that?

- We all know

the body language.

- f*ck you.

No, no, no, no.

No.

f*ck you, f*ck you, f*ck you.

I can still put on heels.

I can still f*cking tip--

- No, no, no, no.

- And I can still--

and I can still catch

some d*ck if I wanted to.

- n*gga, you can't catch d*ck.

You grip d*ck,

but I don't really think

- I'm saying like,

when I came out,

and I was like, "Yo, I'm a stud

and I'm masculine of center,"

I was like, "Oh, b*tch,

it's over.

This is the last Sam

you gon' get."

And then I saw Billy Porter in,

like, a tux with a tulle dress.

And a beat face.

And I was like, "b*tch.

That's cute.

Roll the f*ck up."

all: Yes!

- I didn't even know you

could f*cking do that sh*t.

- Yes.

- You know what I mean?

So it's like, in that

same regard, I don't know,

maybe I'll suck a d*ck again.

Like, that's f*cking possible.

Life changes,

you know what I'm saying?

Real sh*t.

- It does, yes.

- It moves

f*cking quickly, dog.

I used to work at Best Buy,

then I was at Starbucks,

then all of a sudden

I'm a music manager--

- Yes.

- Then all of a sudden,

I'm f*cking, you know,

auditioning to be

a 12-year-old boy

in a voice-over audition.

It moves very fast!

- Yes!

- Only to walk out and see

an actual 12-year-old boy

in the f*cking lobby

and be like,

"Why the f*ck am I even here,

dog?"

- I'm just saying,

at the end of the day,

n*gg*s just need to let

m*therf*ckers be free, bro.

- That's right.

- You need to allow people

to f*cking change,

and I don't know

why we can't accept that

in our individuals

around us but, like,

you'll let a n*gga

like Andre 3000

be eight different n*gg*s,

and we won't say sh*t

about that.

But the n*gga next door

wear a different hat,

and you're like, "Oh, what,

you a new hat n*gga?"

It's like, "Jesus Christ, man."

- Yeah.

- They only allow, like,

f*cking entertainers

to be able to be anything else.

- Yeah.

- And that sucks.

- Yes.

- You can't just be a n*gga

at Best Buy wearing a dress.

- No, but you should

be able to.

- Yeah.

- You should, for sure,

be able to.

- As long as that dress

is blue and yellow,

n*gga, you good, bro.

- Oh, man.

It's really exciting

to talk to you.

'Cause, you know, like,

you only hear one side

of a story, of course.

And so, especially

when I was young,

it was just, like, "All right.

"Ricky Williams just wanted

to smoke weed.

"And he threw away

his whole NFL career

'cause he wanted to get high,"

you know what I mean?

When I saw your "30 for 30,"

and you--

I get to watch you speak

from your own experience,

I was like, "Wow, this n*gga

is just free as f*ck,

and he's not being bound

by any of this sh*t."

How did you get that mentality?

- People make a big deal

about growing up

without a father in the house.

And I think, you know, there's

things that I--that I missed,

but the one thing that I got

was freedom, you know?

My mom, she--she worked,

and then she went

to school at night.

And so all day, it was just--

it was just me doing my thing.

And my mom always taught me

to be free.

The disadvantage was I wasn't

around a lot of people like me.

- When you say "People

like you," what do you mean?

- I mean Black people.

- Okay, yeah.

- I mean Black people.

And Black people

as a community.

I think in Southern California,

we have pockets,

but when I went to the South,

it was bigger than pockets.

It was huge communities.

- That's so interesting

because, like,

I feel like I had

that same experience

coming from Boston to Atlanta.

I grew up in Boston, where

it's like Black people live

in, like, one corner

of the city.

And then it's like,

it's as white as it could be.

And I always felt

like I was a weird kid

for where I grew up.

I listened

to alternative music.

I liked Marilyn Manson.

I was always dyeing

my hair some color

with, like, Kool-Aid.

And then I went to Atlanta,

and it was like,

all these white people

and all kinds of Black--

it was really mind-blowing.

And they say the South is,

like, less progressive

in so many ways,

but in that way,

I found it way more progressive

than, like,

where I had come from.

You know what I mean?

- I'm right with you

on that one, yeah.

- So--so making

that transition,

and seeing the--

that just, like, increased

your, like, validation

of, like, "Nah, I'm doing

the right thing

by just, like,

doing my own thing."

- Actually,

it was the opposite.

Because, you know, I was living

in the context

of a football team.

And there was an expectation

that I was supposed

to be the hero.

And I wasn't.

And they gave me the nickname

Ricky Weirdo.

Really?

- Just because I was different.

I was sitting in my locker

reading astrology books.

You know,

I had my nose pierced,

my tongue pierced,

my n*pples pierced.

I was just--was different.

- Right.

How did you land in football

and not, like, surfing

or some sh*t?

- It--one, I was good at it.

I think when you're young,

you're trying to find

what you're good at

because it helps you

develop your identity.

And I think, two, I had

to prove that I was Black.

Because, you know, I grew up,

and I just was a curious kid,

and, you know, I started

to read really early.

And so when I got to school,

they used to beat me up

because they said I talked

like I was whiter,

I talked proper.

And so when I started,

you know,

we got to PE, and I could run

faster than everybody,

and then I--they started

to be like, "Okay."

And they started to respect me.

And that was just it.

It was identity.

- It was a way to fit in?

- It was a way to fit in.

In my mind,

when I got to the NFL,

they would let me be myself.

And it was

exactly the opposite.

- And I feel like you get

to the NFL as a Black man,

you know, it's like, this is

kind of the highest thing

you can be in

a lot of communities.

You go to the NFL,

man, you made it.

You did the ultimate thing.

How do you walk away from that?

- Because it's not true.

When I got there, I realized

that I'm not here to make it.

I'm here to use this platform

to have a voice.

- So do you feel like football

was a checkpoint for you?

- Definitely, definitely.

- Yeah.

- And something told me

I need a break.

And so literally,

I had a globe, right?

And I spun the globe,

and I closed my eyes,

and I just put my finger,

and it landed in Australia.

So I spent two months

in Australia.

And I remember the moment

I picked up the phone

to call the NFL

and tell them I was retiring,

I saw my whole life flash

in front of my face.

And I realized that

every meaningful experience

in my life was somehow

connected to football.

And it was scary.

When I started traveling,

I was in Australia

looking for land.

'Cause I thought

I was never coming back.

And, uh, and I realized

I don't have a skill.

I was like,

I don't know how to do sh*t

except for play football.

And I just started reflecting,

and I realized

the moments

that I felt happiest

is where I was helping people.

So I thought maybe

I wanna, like, heal people.

And so I started studying

alternative medicine.

And from there,

I took a yoga class,

and I just fell

in love with it.

So I went to the yoga retreat.

And then I met

the teacher there,

and she was amazing.

She taught me astrology.

And she said, "I'm going

to India next week."

So I went with her,

and she was like,

"We're going

to the Himalayas to meditate

"in a cave for a week.

Would you like to come?"

-

- And how could you say no

to that, right?

I feel like the priority

in my life is

- I'll tell you

how I would say no.

- Experiences.

- "f*ck no."

That's how I would say no.

- I couldn't say no.

All my friends told me

I lost my mind.

All of 'em,

they told me I was crazy.

- Yeah, I mean, it sounds crazy

just hearing it right here.

Like, whoa.

What the f*ck?

But there's this other part

of me that, like, thinks

you're not doing

anything different

than when you watch, like,

"Eat, Pray, Love."

- That's exactly--

that's exactly what it was.

- You know what I mean?

And that lady's just like,

"Hey, I've done

this version of life.

I wanna see

this version of life."

But I think, like,

when it comes to n*gg*s,

it's just like, you really have

to conquer some sh*t

to even start to think about

who the f*ck it is you are.

I just wanna see if there's

anything I didn't cover.

I feel like I got everything.

- You didn't ask me

if I had done any g*y sh*t.

- Oh!

What I'm saying

is it's possible.

- No.

- And if I--yes, it is.

- I thought about sucking d*ck

after my relationship.

- For real?

- Yes!

- And then I went and got--

- Don't let him touch you.

- Paris!

- Absolutely not.

-

- I went and got

a strep throat test,

and I was like, "Never mind."

- A strep throat test?

- Absolutely.

- Yeah, they, when they hit you

with the sh*t right

in the back of your throat.

- Yeah.

- Wait, can I say this?

I believed that you guys

all sucked d*ck,

but I refuse to have

a stud suck my d*ck

and look me up in the eyes

and go, "You like that sh*t?"

- I would change my voice

if I was sucking d*ck, b*tch.

What are you talking about?

- Do the voice.

- I'm not doing

the d*ck sucking voice.

- No!

- Ooh, tell me.

- Soso I was in Amsterdam.

And I woke up early one morning

and went for a walk

in the park.

And I didn't know it was, like,

a cruising park.

And this dude on his bike,

like, rode by,

and he was checking me out.

And I was just, you know,

I was just being friendly

and in another country,

so I was like, "What's up?"

And he came up to me,

and we just started talking.

And he started, like,

coming on to me.

And he was like, "Do you wanna

go in the bushes,

and I'll suck your d*ck?"

And so I was like,

my curiosity got

the best of me,

and so I started to think,

"I wonder if I can even get

an erection with a dude?"

And so I was like,

"I'm not saying yes,

but let's go in the bushes,"

right?

And so we went in the bushes,

and he was trying

to, like, get me hard.

And he was, like,

grabbing my d*ck,

and, like--

and I just couldn't do it.

I just couldn't do it.

And so I said, "I can't do it,"

you know?

And so he said, "Okay.

It's fine."

And so we took a walk,

and we walked around the park,

and there was this beautiful,

like, place

where there was a bunch

of rose bushes.

And I sat on the bench,

and he sat next to me,

and he put his head

in my lap.

And I just kind of rubbed his

back for, like, five minutes.

- Aww.

- Just to create a connection.

And then I was like,

"Thank you.

This was

an interesting experience."

And we went our separate ways.

- That's so sweet and cute.

- But, I mean, I just,

you know, I just--

- But I do wish you got

your d*ck sucked fully.

- Right, it's--

- 'Cause you was in another--

I feel like,

you gonna do g*y sh*t,

Europe's the place to do it,

you know what I mean?

- I mean, I'm not closeminded

if I'm in a situation.

- Well, just don't do it here.

I don't wanna hear you were

at a club in Atlanta,

at a hookah lounge, and then,

like, "Ah. Boo."

Give me Paris.

Give me a model

who doesn't speak English.

You know, give me a time.

And we went to the Louvre,

like, I want a hotel.

- And maybe if he would've,

like, romanced me a little bit.

- I think so.

- He, you know?

- The bush is tacky.

- It was tacky.

- Yeah.

- I just didn't--but it did

give me an appreciation

for what women tend to feel

like when dudes are like that.

- Mm-hmm.

- So that was really

what I took away,

just that experience

of being on the other side

of somehow just trying

to get into my pants.

Right.

Like, rushing.

- Yes, yes.

- Not taking it.

- Yeah, like, what's the hurry?

- Straight to the d*ck.

He didn't even, like,

touch a nip first.

That's f*cked up.

Oh, I've always been curious

about this.

Uh, and I was like, if I ever

sit in front of Ricky Williams,

I'm gonna ask him

this question.

Did you take it personally

when Ricky got k*lled

in "Boyz n the Hood?"

- Were you, like, "Damn!"

Like, did it hurt hurt

'cause his name was Ricky

and he played football?

- Actually, I was proud.

-

- Let me tell you why.

Let me tell you why.

Because if he wasn't

a running back, right,

that first shot,

he would've just gone down.

And he was a running back

so he kept going.

And that's why he took

the second one.

One shot is not taking me down.

I'm--

- When you're trying to find

your own freedom

in what you're doing,

the fear is like,

"Oh, I won't be accepted

for who I'm actually

trying to be."

- Of course, like I think

about when I was like,

"Okay, yo, I'm a l*sbian.

I'm a stud."

There was still some hesitation

in that, right?

There was still some of me

straddling the fence

because I didn't know

if people around me

were gonna accept or allow me

to be this iteration of myself.

- And I don't know

if everybody knew that.

Like, you saying that out loud

is actually important.

Because most people would look

at you and go, like--

- No, no, no.

- This is solid.

- Like, what did you think

people were gonna say?

- I don't know!

I just thought people

were gonna be, like,

"What the f*ck are you doing?"

You know?

- Right.

- And so I tried to, like--

I still had, like,

hoop earrings and sh*t.

You know what I'm saying?

- Right, right.

- And I had, like, a perm

but it was short.

'Cause I was, like,

foot in the water.

- Half-half, yeah, yeah.

- Yeah, like,

I'm trying some sh*t,

but I ain't really ready

to pop out.

- To commit.

- I ain't committing

to this sh*t.

And then I started dating Ya,

and she was like,

"n*gga, I'm confused."

You know what I mean?

And I don't think

it was, like, the issue

of what I was actually,

like, wearing or doing

as much as I was

f*cking confused.

So I was projecting confusion

because I wasn't confident yet

in, like,

what I was trying to do,

you know what I'm saying?

'Cause I see, like,

I see those same type

of masculine center women,

like studs and sh*t,

and they be running around

with they t*tties out,

with no shirt on, just standing

with n*gg*s, chest out.

And I'm like,

"sh*t, that looks cool, man.

I wish I could do that."

- The titty thing is a freedom

thing, you know what I mean?

- Yeah.

- I feel comfortable

how I'm comfortable.

You know, right now,

I feel more comfortable

than I've been the whole time.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- So the whole time, like,

walking around in shirts,

you're like, "sh*t."

- Waiting, like--

- Waiting for the t*tties out.

- Yeah.

- I'm so amazed.

- I love it.

- The hang-up for me

has nothing to do

with what I actually think.

If you ask me what

I actually think, I'm like,

"t*tties is t*tties.

It's just a body."

Like, everything

that you're saying.

But there is, like,

society that's like,

women have to put

they t*tties up,

so for my whole life,

my t*tties been up.

And I don't know who I'd be

if they came out.

You know what I'm saying?

- I'm telling you, once you do

it, it makes you, like

I don't know--it bring out

the animal, for real.

It creates a monster.

- In what way?

- Genuinely.

Like, you don't care what

anybody says at that point.

Like, once you're able

to just show 'em,

it's like, I can do anything.

- Yeah.

- Well, that's so interesting

because, like, I feel like

you know, life is

a series of checkpoints.

And so, like, I felt

a little bit of that way, like,

when I came out as a l*sbian,

and especially, like,

a masculine of center l*sbian.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- But then, there's like,

this wall I hit

when t*tties come out.

I'm like,

"Mm, I don't know, like!"

And not to say--to me,

it looks cool as sh*t.

I would love to know

what it feels like

to drive with a top down.

- Do you have a lot of titty?

- I got a lot of titty too.

- That makes sense.

- So?

I got a lot of titty too!

- Yeah, you--I've never--

- I've got, like, a lot lot,

like, you can show

your big t*tties, believe me.

- It's enough, yeah.

- Like, when I'm at home,

and I'm playing basketball,

like, if I'm hiding 'em,

I'm taking my sh*t off.

And the guys who

I normally play with,

they okay with it.

They like,

"She like a fat boy."

You know what I'm saying?

- Yeah, she been doing this--

- I do wonder though

if you had bigger t*tties,

would you pull

your t*tties out?

- Probably not.

- And why not?

- I feel like it brings out

more masculinity in me,

so that's why I do it now

with smaller t*ts,

but I don't feel like

I would feel--

I feel like I would feel

a little more feminine

if they were bigger.

- That's what I was

about to say.

The other thing

about going t*tties out

when you have

some t*tties is, like,

you just a b*tch

with yo t*tties out.

You know what I mean?

all: Yeah.

- And that's not the vibe.

- And that's not the vibe

they're going for.

- That's not the vibe, yeah.

For sure.

- I wonder, like,

for all of you guys, like,

what does the male gaze do

for y'all

when you're out here,

t*tties out?

Does it make you second guess

what you got going on?

- I'm usually around men

that I know, you know?

And they just used to it.

'Cause it's just me, you know?

But definitely when

I'm in my own space,

I'm naked--

I'm talking completely naked.

- I grew up so, like,

in one of those households.

Like, my mom was

very much a, like,

"Put your clothes on

all the time,"

like, especially if

there's men in the house.

Like, "There's men

in the house.

Go put on a shirt.

Go cover yourself up."

Like, I can't even sleep naked

in my crib.

Like, I--no.

- Wow.

- I know.

It's, like, super repressed.

And I'm trying

to work through it.

- But no, if it works.

- No, because

it does feel good.

Like, I remember one time,

I went on a cruise.

And I, like, had a balcony

off my room.

And I lotioned myself, like,

naked on the balcony.

And I--I don't think

I've ever--

- Full butt crack.

- Full butt crack.

- Full butt crack.

- Yes.

I don't think I ever felt

freer, you know what I mean?

- b*tch, you could actually

be sitting there--

- No because I feel like

I've built a life

where that's

not possible for me.

- Pre-t*tties out.

- Yeah.

Like, my n*gg*s ain't gonna

let me run around

with my t*tties out.

I've established

the relationship.

I've established

the relationship.

Now I show up t*tties out,

it's like,

"n*gga, what are you doing?"

- Right, right.

- I thought about doing sh*t

like being with them n*gg*s

that tape down a shirt.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Like the open titty shirt?

- But have it open,

but tape it,

and be like,

"Y'all cool with this?

Y'all cool with half-t*tties?"

What was the first time

for y'all?

Like, what flipped

the switch in you?

Like, "Nah,

I'm in a public space,

and like, I don't really care."

- When I was a kid,

I used to walk around

with no shirt on

all the time.

And so, like, as I got older

and it was just, like--

now I like button-ups

and, like I said,

the whole point is, you know,

to show off.

So it's like, you know,

you had to button--

it's just a layer,

you know what I'm saying?

I just probably just took it

off and just was like,

"I don't even need

to wear a bra."

Ah, you know, and that looked

good once I got this tat.

You know, I was like, I might

as well show it off too.

- It's always the tats

that are inspiration.

Because I started it, like,

once I got all the tats,

I'm like, "I wanna show 'em."

I definitely found myself

through going topless.

I can say that for sure.

- Yeah?

What do you feel like you

found out about yourself?

- Just a new sense of freedom.

New level of self-love.

And that's--

I think that, truthfully,

we are waking up

a lot of people.

Like, people haven't seen,

to me, studs for real.

Like you--it's just been so

swept under the rug for years.

And we've never really

gotten a platform.

- I was on a trip

to Virginia Beach

- Mm-hmm

- You know, like,

three years ago, and I was

like, "I'm hot as sh*t."

- You're very motivated

by the heat.

- Yeah, the heat does it

for me.

I'm hot.

I'm taking this sh*t off, yeah!

- For real, for real.

- I do whatever I gotta do

to get cool.

- I got my foot hanging

out the window.

I'm in the passenger seat

with my girlfriend.

And I got my sports bra on.

And I said,

"I'm taking this bra off."

She like, "Do it!"

- Yeah.

- I was like, "Okay, bloop!"

You know?

And from then,

I was like, f*ck it.

From now on, I'ma just do it.

- Yeah.

- That's beautiful.

- Shoutout to the fix.

- Yeah!

- So is there anything

in your lives

where, you're like, "Huh.

"I wanna go there,

but I just haven't quite

let myself go there."

And what is

that checkpoint for you

that you haven't hit yet

if it exists?

- Mm.

- Hmm.

- I'm gonna just be honest

and go ahead and drop it.

Mine is, like, penetration.

'Cause I don't have a problem

with being a woman.

- Mm-hmm.

- You know?

And I think a lot, you know,

people think that about cis--

like, I don't have

a problem being a woman.

I just--I don't like that--

I don't like penetration.

- I feel that to a degree.

I definitely let

my girl finger me,

but her nails got long,

and now I'm not with it.

- Yes.

- But never, uh,

like, she--sometimes,

she's like,

"Ooh, would you let me

strap you?"

And I'm like--

- Mm-mm.

- I don't think--I don't think

that's in me to do it.

But there's a part of me

that's like, "Why not?"

It's not like

I haven't had sex with dudes.

And if it's something that,

like, she wants to do,

and it's gonna make her happy,

like,

would it k*ll me, but I'm like,

I think it might.

- Throw my equilibrium off.

- Right.

- Something's not gonna

be right.

- Or take some

of my masculinity away

if I'm just being, you know

- For real.

- Luckily, honest.

- Just, like, it's okay

to be vulnerable

and sensitive and soft

and even a stud.

It's like, you know,

people might think

you know, we gotta be hard

- Stigmas.

- And more so aligned

with hetero cis male

thinking and ways

when we wanna--

it's really like,

"Why do that

when we are already q*eer

"and already revolutionary

just to be ourselves

when we could just--?"

- I mean, you're not wrong.

But I'm still not gonna be

bent over like no b*tch.

But everything you're saying

is correct.

Once you step

into a masculine space,

you just watch men change,

right?

They just respect you more.

It sounds so f*cked.

- They do; it is true though.

- But they respect you more.

They, like, consider

your opinion on things.

And like, in a way

that I distinctly saw,

like, a shift, you know?

- Yeah.

- It's all energy

at the end of the day.

- It's all energy.

- Absolutely.

- And now you're matching

their energy.

And they're like,

"Oh, you taste p*ssy too."

You know what I mean?

- Right.

- And, like, being masculine

and being masculine of center,

and like, just walking

the streets and sh*t.

I remember one night,

I was walking down the street,

and I had just kind of, like,

I'm like, a little fresh out.

I just got my little haircut.

Just got my little sh*t--

- Feeling fresh.

- Feeling fresh.

Just got my little sh*t

going on.

Just starting to feel my d*ck

a little bit,

you know what I'm saying?

And I'm--

- A nice feeling.

- Yeah, and I'm walking

down the street.

It's nighttime.

And this dude walked past.

And my first instinct was like,

it's late as f*ck.

I'm on this street by myself.

Like, men are men,

you know what I mean?

At what I been understood

men to be like.

Men are men,

and like, holy sh*t.

What, like, all right.

Let me check my surroundings.

Whatever, whatever.

And then the n*gga

just head-nodded me.

And I was like, "Oh, sh*t.

"I no longer have to worry

about getting f*cked

'cause I'm doing the f*cking."

It's a whole new space.

It's a whole new--

- See

- Like, you have arrived.

- You come out with that energy

though too.

You have that energy.

- It's all about feeling

a power too.

There was something

to the first time

I strapped a woman,

and I just watched her

be laid out from the d*ck,

just asleep, and I was like--

- Sleep.

- n*gga!

- I did her!

-

- Damn, she asleep as f*ck!

- Can't even walk!

- I made her tired!

- I just walked around in the

strap drinking juice, n*gga.

Like, oh, my God.

- It makes you feel like that.

- And I think every woman

needs to feel that.

- Every woman should peg a man,

for sure.

- Period, it's a beast.

- For sure.

- There's something about--

there's something--

- I got poked in my a*s.

I was like, "Oh, okay.

I get it.

I get everything."

- I f*cking love it,

just standing there.

- My girl was like, "Oh.

Oh!"

- There something about putting

a d*ck in something

that you're like, "Word."

I used to be like you.

Knock-kneed, sciatica

from being folded like

a lawn chair, day after day,

and then I strapped up

and laid my first pipe,

and I was transformed.

I understand stocks.

I eat ribs for breakfast.

I take up four seats

on the train.

Christopher Nolan movies

make sense to me.

You are all here because

you've been made to feel weak.

You've been bent over by life.

You've been taking

all those backshots,

and now it's time

to sh**t back.

This is you.

"Oh, should I spit?

Should I swallow?"

b*tch, you should c*m.

Now put on these dicks.

I knew it.

In white?

Got to work for it

if you want it, baby.

All right, ladies.

You ready to f*ck?

- Yeah!

- Let's go.

- I haven't either.

- I really like the color.

- Oh, this is actually

pretty cool.

- Warm-ups.

Meat swings in left and right.

Thigh, thigh, thigh.

Danza slap.

Ah, and ah!

I want connection!

Come on.

Work it, ladies!

Oh, sh**t.

Sorry.

Higher.

Very good.

Hit that G-spot.

- I've never done this before.

I do feel more powerful.

I feel balanced.

Like, I'm tall,

so I have a long p*nis.

- Megan, make eye contact.

How she know you love her?

And down.

- I love you.

- Hands up.

- I'm too tired to be on top.

Um, do I feel more powerful?

No, I feel more exhausted,

okay?

I have asthma,

and you can't be putting me

stroking b*tches down.

I can't do that.

I like to lay on my back.

- Lisa, give it to me stronger.

- I feel very powerful.

I just need

to get better at it.

Everything's a skill.

Practice.

You don't just jump on a piano

and start playing Mozart.

- It's time to get

all up in them guts.

French vanilla, Thai,

chocolate deluxe.

I want to see you work.

And work it.

Look like you struggling

over here.

Maybe change angles.

- I want it to be better,

but I'm gonna make that happen

because I'm committed

and I bought a package, so.

- Yeah!

- It kind of made me,

like, tap

into, like, who I really am.

I can f*ck now.

- Ah!

- I didn't know

that was possible.

- Yeahhh!

I think this d*ck

has made me worse by far.

I wasn't a great person

to start with,

and now, it's hard to not

just wanna run up and--

You know?

- I like you on the bench.

You are long and strong.

- Before the d*ck,

I did sex differently.

And now I have more ideas.

I don't know if I see my life

without the strap.

- Ladies, this isn't

just about sex.

This isn't just about putting

something hard

into something soft, and then

rolling over and taking a nap.

That's weak.

That's man sh*t.

This is about

liberating yourself

from whatever keeps you

from feeling free.

Some of you may leave here

and go peg your husbands

the second you get home.

Some of you may never strap up

and f*ck a watermelon

ever again.

Either way, I want each

and every one of you

to carry these dildos

in your spirit.

Let your energy

swing long and proud,

Even when no one else

can see it.

And if anyone makes you feel

like you aren't strong,

then you metamorphically

Danza slap the sh*t

out of them.

Now everybody wipe down

your dicks

for the next class.

- I definitely think

this is an experience

others should try.

In fact, I'm gonna try

different shapes

and sizes and textures

and different fruits.

- I do wish that

it was bigger.

I'm a little embarrassed

I did have the tiniest d*ck

in the class.

And I did notice.

But I think that's good

for internal growth too.

- Sam is a great instructor.

Uh, she inspired me to never

put a strap on ever again.

I used to wish I was a l*sbian,

but nope, no more of that.

I would be a bottom l*sbian,

a bottom g*y dude,

and I'm a bottom straight.

- People need room

to try stuff.

Purple cargo shorts

may not be for everyone,

but how do you know

they're not for you

if you don't try it?

And maybe

they'll look terrible,

and you'll be glad

there's no pictures

of that period in your life.

But at least you tried

something new.

You never know

what tomorrow's gonna bring,

and that doesn't just have

to be some shorts.

Maybe you need to leave

the place you started in.

Or maybe you just need

to take the train

a few stops past where

you normally get off.

The world

is constantly changing,

so how do we expect

not to change with it?

We need to realize this is

just a series of checkpoints.

If you're doing

this sh*t right,

you'll go through several

iterations of yourself

before it's all said

and done.

And we should

be excited for that.

And we should encourage it

in others.

Unless, of course,

they look stupid.

Then we should tell them,

but, like, constructively.

Also, we should mind

our f*cking business.

We all have purple cargo

shorts in our hearts,

but we won't wear them,

or say it, or do it

because we're afraid

we'll look dumb.

Who cares?

Just put them shits on

and figure it out.

And if you don't,

that's okay too.

But just know those shorts

will always be waiting

for you when you're ready.

[tape fast-forwarding,

engine turns over]

Like, my n*gg*s ain't gonna

let me run around

with my t*tties out.

Now I show up t*tties out,

it's like,

"n*gga, what are you doing?"

Die for me, b*tch,

I'm perfect, yeah

you perfect

you perfect--perfect

you perfect--wow

I'm perfect--I'm perfect

I'm perfect--I'm perfect

you perfect--wow

you perfect--wow

I'm perfect--wow

I'm perfect--perfect

I need more bucks--cash

at the top floor

she get soft more

while you was sophomores

nothing, make you hot, boy

like we the yacht boys

damn, damn, damn

you perfect

you perfect--wow

I'm perfect--yeah

I'm perfect--perfect

you perfect--wow

Tell me the white people secrets

of how to get this bread!

You're already doing it.

No, I'm not, dog.

I'm buying sneakers

You're talking about investing.

and I know that's not right.

What did you understand

about money as a kid?

Hustling.

Gotta hustle to get it.

-Right?

- Word.

I'll cheers to that.

Cut this sh*t!

Having made a company

and made money,

you went to jail

for selling weed.

How much weed?

Was it a lot of weed?

It was a lot of weed.

My indictment

was for 3,000 kilos.

Ooh, you better bag

all that weed!

I have like no depth perception

at all.

All right, yeah,

this is gonna be a disaster.