- Hey!
Hey!
What up, boy?
- You look cute!
- So do you!
- Okay, miss, thank you!
- n*gg*s got the stimmy.
n*gg*s got the vaccine.
Come on.
Come on, bro.
It's time to take our lives
back, baby.
- What's up?
- You okay?
- That was a lot of steps.
- Yeah, touch my titty.
Get this.
Yet y'all pinching my titty.
-
- This is l*sbian love--
where your baby pinch
your titty.
A'ight.
Hey, yeah, seventh grade, like,
awkward sh*t,
stuff happening to yo' d*ck.
- I remember being
in ninth grade walking in
and seeing this scene,
like "Oh, my God."
Like, t*tties, girls,
and like, "Oh, sh*t!
Look at those t*tties!"
- His f*ck' mouth's full.
- It is wild, bro.
- He's just like, "t*tties!"
- Uh.
My f*ck' fingernails.
- Jay-Z gon' be up there.
- You think Z gonna go
into space?
- Jay-Z's going to space.
Jay going, Jay going.
- Old n*gg*s
ain't going to space.
- Jay's going.
- Jay's gonna go.
- Jay is going to space.
- Jay will go.
- Am I willing to be
a co*n space n*gga?
Well, you can't control
when or how
you're getting called
a co*n any f*ck' way.
- I mean, that's gonna happen.
- That's gonna happen
no matter what you do.
There's really no way to,
like, define cooning anymore,
though, like, in my opinion.
- co*n is just
a good disagreement.
- That's--exactly, bro.
It's like every n*gga's
a co*n for one reason
or a f*ck' other,
you know what I'm saying?
- Yeah.
- We're at a point where you
could be a co*n for anything.
If you just disagree
with the n*gga majority
that you're a f*ck' co*n--
and it's like,
who gets to decide
what the f*ck
the n*gga majority is?
Black Twitter
or some sh*t like that?
- Right.
- Which is like, who the f*ck
is Black Twitter?
Like, how do they get to be
in charge?
- White women.
- Thank you!
It's white women
and, like,
Filipino n*gg*s with
Nipsey Hussle f*ck' avatars.
It's f*ck' wild.
- Sam, can I interject?
- These n*gg*s be like--
of course you can.
Do you have something to add
to this?
- I don't know.
- I have something to say.
- You know what I mean?
But no, for real.
I mean, y'all define the sh*t.
- No, no, a co*n is--
I miss the good old co*n days.
Was if you--
If you danced--if you danced
in front of Black people,
you wasn't a co*n.
If you danced in front of
white people, you was a co*n.
- It used to be a clear line.
- It used to be--yeah.
- That's what I'm saying.
- That's the good old days.
- It used to a clear line
in the sand.
It was like, "Yo, this n*gga's
a co*n and this n*gga isn't."
And it was that simple.
You were like Morgan Freeman--
not a co*n.
Clarence Thomas--co*n.
It was as easy as this.
And now, as soon as you step
out of whatever that line is,
you're a f*ck' co*n.
And it's like,
how the f*ck are these n*gg*s--
- All the cool people
are being called c*ons.
- Thank you.
And how are the n*gg*s that--
- Like, cool.
I wanna be a co*n.
- And how are the n*gg*s that
created our f*ck' history,
in a lot of ways,
a f*ck' co*n?
You may not agree with
what the f*ck Spike is doing,
but he's a co*n?
This n*gga made "Malcolm X."
- I'm just saying.
- How could a n*gga that made
"Malcolm X" be a f*cking co*n?
- Look at the n*gga with the
beret, like, "Yeah, that's"--
"That's not his best work.
- They only look at the sh*t--
- "Not his best work
in my opinion."
- Listen, I never thought
of Spike as a co*n.
I really thought more of, like,
the Lucky Charms n*gga,
you know what I'm saying?
- Yeah.
- He just come out and he gives
you the goods that you need,
you know what I'm saying?
- Do you believe in c*ons,
though?
Do you believe that
there are c*ons?
- Mm, I don't know, man.
I mean, look, I think
we can have disagreements
and sh*t like that,
but I do think some people
be shuckin' and jivin' like--
- Is Candace Owens a co*n?
- Is she a co*n,
or is she just really
a b*tch that believe that?
- Look, I think she really
believes that.
I don't know if she's a co*n,
you know what I'm saying?
Like, I feel like there's such
a distinct version of a co*n
like you see, like,
"Uncle Tom's Cabin" and sh*t,
you know what I'm saying?
- Same f*ck', like--
I look at this sh*t being,
like, Black, being g*y,
being a woman, right?
There's mad assignments, n*gga.
There's mad things I'm supposed
to f*cking check off.
And if you don't check off
all of them, right?
So, like,
just look at my special.
I f*ck' do a trans joke
in a way that I thought
was on some sh*t
that was gonna f*cking advance
a conversation.
Truly, in my heart.
- It's also a true story.
- But to g*y n*gg*s, like,
they look at me
as a g*y f*ck' co*n.
At the end of the day,
I read the sh*t that's being
said and it's basically like
I allied myself
with straight people.
I don't hang out with a lot
of g*y people.
I'm probably the only g*y n*gga
in this room. So to them--
- Huh?
- Oh, my God.
- Anyway.
- Whoa.
- sh*t.
Well, real sh*t,
though, it's like--
- Oh, my God.
- You don't--but it's not even
just faceless chos.
Like, I got banned
from magazines.
I don't f*ck' get g*y press.
It's not faceless--
it's not faceless,
it's real sh*t.
And it's, like, because of
how I choose to represent.
But it's like, who decides
what the f*ck you're supposed
to align yourself to?
- That's what I'm saying.
- It's like you go to a f*ck'
store or you go to a store
to get cleaning sh*t
for your house.
You buy mad different sh*t.
- Yeah.
- You buy mad sh*t,
you buy sh*t for your windows,
you buy sh*t for your counter,
you buy sh*t for your floor,
you know what I'm saying?
You don't expect the floor sh*t
to do the counter sh*t.
You don't expect the window
sh*t, you know what I mean?
You can't use Pine-Sol
to wash your p*ssy.
Like, you gotta f*cking buy
the sh*t you need, my n*gga.
You don't get
to just f*ck', like,
surmise that sh*t in one way.
So it's like, when the n*gg*s
putting they art out,
they're just being one thing.
The n*gga's just bodywash.
Don't try to clean your f*ck'
windows with me, my dog,
'cause them sh*t's gonna
be screechy.
- Look at that co*n-a*s n*gga
sittin' next to her.
- When you say pro-Black
conservative
- Mm-hmm.
- What does that look like?
I don't think I've ever heard
those words put together,
let alone have a picture in my
head of how that's active.
- I mean, I'll list it out.
I'm a constitutionalist,
I'm a capitalist.
I mean, when I say capitalist,
I don't mean, like,
"Oh, just abolish welfare."
I mean, like, abolish
the Federal Reserve.
Like, I'm a capitalist.
So to me, that's conservative.
And then when I add my
pro-Black lens in front of it,
okay, I'm like,
"How do I specifically
apply these policies
to the Black community?"
You know, people will call me
a co*n and call me a sellout
without actually hearing
my opinions.
I'm not really offended
by that anymore
because I know for sure
that I'm not.
- And for me, I'm completely
do-for-self.
A lot of people love to scream
about Malcolm X.
But everybody try to reduce him
down to violence.
And I'm just like, that's not
what Malcolm was about
because go find a picture
and/or video
of Malcolm beating or fighting
any white people.
That's not what he was about.
He was just simply saying
self-defense,
but his main message was
do-for-self.
So I'm just like, why aren't we
doing things for ourselves?
So of course I get called
a co*n
and all that stuff like that
because of the word
"conservative"
or saying that we don't need to
ask the government for stuff,
but I'm just like, why do we
want to rely on them?
Because as long as you're
giving someone the power
to feed you, you're giving them
the power to starve you too.
- When someone calls you co*n,
what do you feel like
they're seeing?
- I definitely think that word
is just thrown around
just 'cause it's
a popular word to use
when Black people don't
agree with the majority
of other Black people, so
- When people attack me
and call me a co*n,
like, self-hater,
stuff like that,
I just feel like at least
my message is reaching people.
At least people are talking
about it.
At least people are thinking
about it.
Being a Black person and having
your own political ideology,
do whatever you want.
I'm not gonna call--
I'm not gonna, like, take away
anyone's Blackness.
- Mm-hmm.
Absolutely.
- Well, what at your core,
for you guys,
makes you conservative?
- I don't believe in asking
politicians for crap,
I'm not asking Joe Biden,
Donald Trump, nobody,
to do anything
for our communities.
We gotta do it for ourselves.
We had a white van riding
around at the bus stops
chasing kids, and so
we got our women on Facebook
praying, "Oh, Lord,
please help us here in Albany.
It's a white van
chasing our kids by our block."
We need help."
I made a video that went viral
and I was like, "No."
I said, "Let us men get up in
the morning from 6:00 to 7:30
"while the buses are getting
the kids
"and we're gonna ride
around the neighborhoods
and make sure we good."
White van disappeared.
We just did stuff like that.
I'm just like,
that's what community is,
policing ourselves.
We can't call the police
and ask them to monitor.
We can get out
and monitor.
We ain't doing nothing
from 6:00 to 7:30.
- I hear a lot
of what you're saying
about the personal
responsibility of it all.
- Mm-hmm.
- I do wonder, though,
where is the accountability?
Because I mean,
Black people are still
paying taxes,
Black people are still
paying into a system
with the promise
of certain services,
with the promise
of certain treatment,
with the promise
of certain protection.
And not to press you
but to press you,
I guess what I wonder is, like,
I'm putting the money up.
Do what--like,
do the basic services
that my community is owed.
- I agree.
- I pay for a school system
to have books.
- Mm-hmm.
I agree.
- I pay for a city to have cops
that care about my kids
if they're getting scooped up
by white vans,
you know what I mean?
Like--
And yes, brothers gotta get up,
but in a white neighborhood,
white man ain't gotta get up
at 6:00 a.m.
to make sure the
van man ain't coming
- 'Cause the police are coming.
- Yeah, absolutely.
- And, like, that's a problem.
- I agree, I agree.
I absolutely agree.
I just feel like, you know,
in those areas where we know
we not being served correctly,
until we get served correctly,
we gotta make those things
happen for ourselves.
We just do.
- But you are aligning yourself
with a party
that has a history of racism,
to some degree,
which this whole country does.
- Mm-hmm.
- So I don't think
you can necessarily, like,
separate those things.
And I wonder, I guess,
how that feels.
- Brother Minister Malcolm X
taught us, he said,
"One party's biting you
with a smile,
the other one biting you
with a growl."
Either way,
you're still being bitten.
- And I don't think there's
really anything covert
about the Democratic Party's
racism.
I think as soon
as we have a president say
if you are not voting for me,
you're not Black,
I think
that's very blatant.
I don't think the Democrats
are smiling at us.
I think they look down at us
more than Republicans do
'cause I think the fact they
think that eating fried chicken
and saying,
"I got hot sauce in my bag"
is relatable enough for us
to fall for that trap again
and again and again?
- I do kind of feel you
'cause, like, when I was young,
I used to do a lot
of mock government stuff.
I thought I was gonna be some
type of politician or lawyer
or some sh*t.
And, um, there was all these
little programs.
It was like Junior Statesmen,
Youth and Government
and you had to, like,
pick a side.
And I would always choose
the Republican side
purely because I felt like
everyone there expected me
to be a Democrat
and expected that
that was just the thinking
I had to align myself with.
And something about that
bothered the f*ck out of me.
It was, like, so presumptuous
and also made me feel
a little powerless.
Like, oh, you're already
deciding for me
without allowing me
to decide for myself.
- They got so much power
that they think they can speak
for Black people also, n*gga.
That sh*t translates
in everything.
Instead of, like,
you know, like,
"Oh, n*gg*s wanna
be treated equal."
"Nah, nah, nah,
let's not do that.
"We'll take Aunt Jemima
off the thing.
"That's what n*gg*s
really want.
They want Aunt Jemima off
the syrup, n*gga."
- No one--no one--
that sh*t pissed me off.
- Yeah, like, n*gga,
I like Aunt Jemima.
- That sh*t pissed me off.
Also, I thought Uncle Ben
was a rice tycoon.
I didn't think that n*gga
was a butler.
- Right!
- I was like,
"This n*gga's in a suit.
This n*gga runs rice."
I was proud to buy that rice.
I didn't know nothing--
I didn't even know
the narrative.
Y'all just threw a whole, "This
was a butler sl*ve n*gga."
That n*gga was a rice god
to me.
That's what I thought.
It's a made-up n*gga.
- Yeah!
- He could be a rice tycoon
or a butler.
He's whatever you want him
to be.
- You know what it is?
You know what it was?
It was like, you know when you
get caught by your parents
doing some f*cked-up sh*t
as a teenager?
- Don't interrupt this woman
from f*ck' Texas.
- You know--
When you get caught by your
parents doing some sh*t
like trying to sneak out--
- He really walked away.
She is a wild woman.
- What you saying, though?
You get caught--
- You get caught
and then you'd lie.
You'd make up a smaller lie.
Like, you'd be, like, "Oh, no,
I was smoking a cigarette
in my room," you know?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- That's what it was.
It was like a move
where it's like,
we don't want to take
responsibility
for the whole thing,
so we'll take responsibility
for these little things.
- Yeah.
- So we'll look at
all the little stuff.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- But I heard the way
it was marketed,
it was like, they marketed it
as, like, um,
sort of like Black
subservience, kinda.
The way--like, the way
that Aunt Jemima was marketed.
- Yeah, but I--what I'm saying
is I grew up in '82.
I don't give a f*ck.
This is, like, white guilt
playing out.
Yes, I get the details,
but if you really want
to help me,
just make the laws better.
Just f*cking be better,
give n*gg*s equal pay.
Pay n*gg*s what they're worth
when they're out
in the world working.
Don't take a b*tch
off a pancake box.
I don't f*cking know
what that means.
Sometimes I wonder,
as Black people,
is our hindrance that because
we came to this country
the way that we did,
we're always defining ourselves
through their systems?
- Mm-hmm.
- To me, it doesn't sound like
you're conservative at all.
To me, it sounds like you're
a Black person in this country
trying to figure out
how to be free.
You know what I mean?
And I don't know if that
necessarily aligns in my mind
to what conservatism
represents.
- Mm-hmm.
So most people that know me
and my city,
I got a organization.
I work with kids.
I just purchased a school for
young Black men where I live.
- Mm-hmm.
- Um, and--
- You say you just purchased
a school?
- Mm-hmm.
Yes.
- Like, a whole school?
- A whole school.
36,000 square feet,
25 classrooms.
- How old are you?
- 21.
- sh*t.
-
- Bro, I gotta get my sh*t
together.
- I was like, I thought you
were way older than me.
- Jesus. How'd you get a school
before Dr. Umar, though?
- Well, I think we need
to redefine
what conservatism means
and I wanted to actually
ask you a question.
When you picture--
'cause you said
you don't really think
we're necessarily conservative,
just, you know,
Black people just trying
to kind of figure
this sh*t out.
So when you think
of a Black conservative, like,
who or what comes to mind?
What would I be saying
if I was the stereotypical
Black conservative?
- To me,
Candace Owens come to mind.
- Right.
- Everybody say that.
- No, like, but to me,
that's what comes to mind.
Or, like, Hermann Cain
or Stacey Dash
when she was doing
whatever she was dong.
- Yeah.
- But in my mind, that's
exactly what pops into my head.
- And that's the problem,
I think.
And this is no shade to,
like, Candace or anyone
because I feel like anyone's
allowed to have their opinion.
Um, but when
the Black conservatives
that come to mind when people
think about Black conservatives
are people that generally talk
down to the Black community--
everything
is Black people's fault,
you have fatherless homes,
you know, pull your pants.
I mean, just stop listening
to rap music.
I'm like,
this is not even conservatism.
This is, like,
the boomer Republicanism
that appeals to white people.
- I have to ask this
'cause I am q*eer.
- Mm-hmm.
- Where does your conservatism
lie in
when you think of g*y marriage,
with trans rights,
with those levels of equality?
- Right.
Absolutely.
Well, for me, I don't have
an issue with it at all.
People have asked, you know,
well, what are you gonna do
if you get a boy
that come to your school--
'cause it's all boys.
What if you get a boy
that wanna be a girl?
I don't care.
He can come.
And he's still gonna
get taught
the same principles that
I'm teaching the other boys.
- I think if I have a kid,
I'ma just--like,
until they, like, 17,
I'ma just throw a bunch
of the--
all the clothes and just
be like, "Do what you want."
- Do what you--
- Go ahead. Go crazy.
- Yeah.
For me, I've recently,
just this past week,
I've written articles about
how the GOP needs to drop
the issues of being anti-g*y
marriage from the platform.
- Mm-hmm.
- I think it's very
counterintuitive.
I have no problem
with g*y marriage.
And honestly, I was--
I was hoping you wouldn't ask
me--or ask us this question.
And it's something
I've struggled with
and it's something
I have never said,
but I'm part of that community.
- Oh, wow. Really?
- And I've struggled with that
being part
of my conservatism.
I only really came to terms
with it in the past year or so.
- Wow.
- So I guess this is me
coming out.
- No.
- That's awesome.
- Yeah. Oh, my God.
I have to call my mom.
- I wanna hug you.
I'm gonna hug you.
I don't care.
I'm gonna hug you.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
That is real.
- I have to call my mom
as soon as I get off.
I'm like, "You're gonna see
something on TV."
- Wow.
- Um, but yeah.
So that is something I've
definitely struggled with.
So I'll go to bat
for, like, you know,
g*y couples adopting kids
and stuff like that.
I think the more family, like,
the better.
I mean, maybe people think
it's not an ideal situation
if they don't have both, like,
a male and female parent,
but I think, you know,
for--let's say
if you're very, very pro-life
and you don't support
a g*y couple choosing adoption,
I think that's
very counterintuitive.
- Olivia, girl, you just need
your own party, b*tch.
You need the
Olivia Turn It Up Party.
- I know! I'm like--
- She need to go.
- You just need to go do your
own thing, girl.
- I really do, I really do.
But I think about running
for local office,
of course when I'm older,
all the time.
And I'm like,
"What party would I even run?"
Like, the--
I'm like, "Mm, I don't agree
"with the Libertarians
on everything,
"I don't agree
with the Republicans
"on maybe half this stuff,
and then the Democrats,
they would never have me."
- The Rondo Party.
- The Rondo Party.
- The Rondo Party.
- I would love this, like,
a, like, Real n*gga Party
- Real n*gga Party.
- Where it could just be
all the stuff
and we just work it out,
you know what I mean?
Like, just no whites involved.
We just work it out and
it can bring all the energy in.
We don't gotta assign
to this thing or that thing
and all real n*gg*s are
welcome, you know what I mean?
- I get it, yeah.
Absolutely.
- I love that.
- You got your first one?
- Yeah.
- I was hoping somebody
didn't get it.
You all got it?
You got the vaccine?
- Yeah!
- Reggie, you the only n*gga
here without the vaccine.
- No, I'm not, no, I'm not,
no, I'm not.
- You ain't getting it?
- Huh?
- "Huh?"
- I'm willing--I'm--
you know, I'm a follower
when it comes to that sh*t.
If every n*gga get it,
I'ma get it.
If LeBron posted saying
he got it, I'ma get it.
I'm waiting for LeBron.
I'm waiting for LeBron
to post it.
- I was at work
and this b*tch was like,
"Oh, I want to do something,
but I don't want to hurt
Black people's feelings."
And I was like, "All right."
- What does that mean?
- "Well, what the f*ck
are you talking about?"
Yeah.
"What do you mean?"
And she was like,
"Uh, I wanna get Bantu knots,
but I don't wanna upset
Black people."
And this is after Adele
did the sh*t.
- Oh. Okay, okay, okay.
- And I'm like,
but you're just a regular
b*tch at work.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You're not Adele.
Why do you think, regular white
b*tch, you have the power--
- Why do you think you gonna
trend online
from--yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Why do you think you have the
power to f*cking rock my day?
And that bothered me
more than the knots,
was her thinking she had the
power to set me into a tizzy
with her f*cking hair.
- Right.
- And I was like, "I don't want
n*gg*s to be controlled."
I don't give a f*ck.
At the end of the day, b*tch,
you just look dumb.
- Right.
- You just look f*cking dumb.
That's the real truth.
And then I hate when these
bloggers get online and go,
"This is the devastation
of the Black community."
It's like, no.
Just call the b*tch goofy.
Roast the b*tch
for looking silly.
- That's always online.
- And get her up out of here.
You know what?
Like, the other sh*t is, like,
what the f*ck are we doing?
What do you think about her?
Like, what do you think
about how she looks?
- So she doing the Jamaican
with the China bump?
- Do you think she looks good
in it?
- Yeah, she do.
She rockin' it.
- She rockin' it?
- She rockin' it?
- How does it make you feel
when you see her?
- Proud.
That Jamaican--
she doing a Jamaican,
Caribbean thing, right?
This, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- She's chic.
- How do you feel
about the hair?
- I like the hair.
I like the whole ensemble.
No boobies, though.
- Too flat?
- It's no boobies, but
- She too flat for the shirt?
- Too flat.
Too flat for the shirt.
- I understand the look.
I know Asian Spanish people
from LA.
I have friends that do dress
in that way.
- So cool?
What you feel about her?
- She's giving
Jackie Chan vibes.
- She--yeah.
- Jackie Chan vibes.
- Yes.
- It almost goes back to the
time of mammies and blackface
and when they were doing things
like that
and exaggerated lips
and the colors.
Like, only thing he need
is a bandanna--be Aunt Jemima.
- Sort of goofy, you know?
Like, uh, like The Shadow look.
With the big lips?
I don't know.
- Does it feel, like,
r*cist to you at all?
- Oh, well, when you say
it like that,
I am now seeing it.
- When I say it like that?
- I'm like, "Wait.
This is a minstrel joke."
- A real corny vibe.
- Do you feel like it's r*cist?
- No.
- Just corny?
- I think just corny.
- I'm feeling the vibe.
I feel like he's proud,
he know where he comes from.
He's not making a mockery
of the cloth
and of what he's wearing.
- How you feel about him now?
- Well, you know what?
To each his own.
Love is love.
Love is love.
My Black brothers.
- It's not bad.
- All right.
What about now?
- That--that softened it.
-
Made it--
that softened it.
- It softened it up?
It softened it up?
- Yeah.
That softened it up.
- It is trill, huh?
- Past Black and white,
past Black and white,
white people at
least have rules.
And they've said rules
for themselves.
- Black people have not
come together
and ever say the rules.
- Yes.
- We'll never be
on the same page
because we've never given
ourselves a chance
to be like, "n*gga, boom,
boom, boom, we on this."
- They did.
- White people got to do that.
- Our n*gg*s ain't come
together to say nothin'.
- Look, they should--
I don't know.
We gotta get on the roof.
We gotta get the Panthers
together.
- We gotta get every--hold up.
You gotta get just n*gg*s
from the block.
You gotta get every n*gga.
- Gotta get everyone together.
- Yeah, not just
the revolutionary n*gg*s.
- No, no, no, no, no.
n*gg*s from the block
ain't all on the same sh*t.
- Hold up. What we're saying--
what we're saying.
- Hey! Like, nah, nah, I ain't
be on the block with nobody.
- Yeah, but, like,
if we get married,
can we still, like, play your
music at our wedding?
- No! No, b*tch!
You gotta leave us alone!
- They might listen
to Lil' U*i, right?
- What are the rules?
Tell us.
- It's the whole Constitution!
It's the whole Constitution!
There was a whole established--
- They don't abide
by that sh*t.
- But they made something
together and said--
and they do!
That's what they're k*lling
each other over.
- When they stormed
the Capitol, that was--
- They're k*lling each other
over,
"I interpret the rules
this way."
- It all goes back to say,
"My constitutional rights."
- Yes, bro, yes!
That white people established
a rule of white society,
of how they thought
you should live.
The whole Constitution
are the rules.
This had nothing to do
with n*gg*s.
This was about, "We, as white
people have come together.
"We've settled a new land
"and we've decided this is how
we should treat each other,
"this is the things
we should be allowed,
these are the things you
shouldn't be allowed."
- Right.
- They've made some--
n*gg*s never done that.
We've been under your rule.
We've been under
your f*cking Constitution.
We have never come together
as n*gg*s and said,
"We understand each other
as one
and this is how
we should function."
That sh*t has
never f*cking happened.
- What would be
in your Constitution?
- We're not gonna f*ck'
tell you!
- f*ck you, b*tch.
- You're gonna steal
our Constitution.
- All right.
And now, cut the cameras.
This thing is spying,
this thing is spying.
- You were like, "So tell us."
- "All I'm saying is."
- So, so where are you gonna
do this, now?
- I'll be sending it.
- "At what time?"
- Please tell me.
I want us to all get along.
- We're trying
to make it right!
- Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today
to document this thing called
Niggadom for all n*gg*s.
From hot dog head n*gg*s
to 'bout to back
from Tulum b*tches.
From Harley-Davidson n*gg*s
to aunties with the arm fat
that cook good.
On this historic day,
we shall draft the very first
n*gga constitution.
Brought to you by Crown Royal.
- That's what I'm talking
about, baby.
- What the f*ck, brah?
I'm leaving.
- Keep f*cking talking.
Keep playing with me.
- Article I.
All n*gg*s are created equal.
We must acknowledge
that Black is beautiful.
No matter the form or behavior,
we must see beauty in us.
Article II. You have the right
to catch these hands.
You're beautiful,
but your a*s ain't special.
And if you step outta line,
you can get that beautiful a*s
slapped.
Article III.
-
- Take your shoes off
in Granny's house.
'Cause you know better.
We must respect our elders
and acknowledge the history
which shaped so much
of what we see today,
even if we don't agree with it.
Article IV.
Stacey Dash can get it.
You can be dumb and fine, yo.
We must acknowledge that
while some people may seem
detestable,
that a*s ain't got nothing
to do with it.
Cute c*ons need love too.
Article V.
The cookout doesn't exist.
Stop inviting these crackers
in and out of Blackness.
It's annoying.
Article VI.
N.A.T.E.
n*gga, All This
is Entertainment.
A la Nate Robinson
getting his a*s beat,
any Black person who claims to
speak for the culture is wrong
and should be treated
as a loser
and should not be looked upon
as a serious representation
of the culture.
Article VII.
Leave Tyrese alone.
He sang that Coca-Cola song,
yo. He's baby boy.
- He'll figure it out!
- He'll figure it out.
- He better.
- Article VIII.
If you g*y, Black, and a woman,
get to do whatever
the f*ck you want.
Our sh*t is confusing enough.
Article IX.
The 13th Amendment
still stands.
We ain't doing that sl*very
sh*t ever, ever again.
Period.
What the hell would it look
like, anyway?
You think n*gg*s gonna sl*ve
in the Apple store?
Shut the f*ck up.
- Hell no.
Clean up your own damn mess.
- That's what
I'm talking about!
We're not doing that sh*t.
- And finally, Article X.
The remix clause.
All of these rules are subject
and available to be remixed,
chopped, screwed, scattered,
freestyled,
scatted, smothered,
covered, capped,
skibbity-boo-bopped,
shaba-da dwee, dwee, dwee
by all Black people
no matter their creed,
gender identity,
or sexual orientation.
No white is allowed to amend
or adjust this document
in any way.
Except Paul Wall.
All right, y'all.
We can't introduce
the n*gga constitution
without also introducing
the n*gga national anthem.
This is our flag.
It's all of Morgan Freeman's
moles.
Dip set, b*tch.
to tell you so
from the start
when you broke my heart
that I loved you
I'd die for you
-
-
-
- At the end of the day,
we should all be allowed
to explore.
This is a big, crazy place,
so we're probably gonna get
knocked around a few times.
We have so many
standards for all of us
about how people should look,
how they should talk,
what they should wear,
and none of that
directly impacts
how we treat each other.
Intent matters,
and you can't determine that
without talking to people.
So when you see a person
who's not like you,
give them some grace.
You don't know their life
and they don't know yours.
We are constantly changing.
Just because you're
a military n*gga today
doesn't mean you can't be
a country n*gga tomorrow.
Life moves quickly
and it's very unpredictable.
Who knows?
In five years, I could end up
a hot dog head n*gga
and I wouldn't want people
to assume
they know my whole life
because of it.
Well, then we hire the lady,
Ty.
- This m*therf*cker
is cute as sh*t.
Very cute, very cute,
very cute.
- All right.
Bye.
I ain't no f*ck' co*n.
I hate the f*ck' word
"cancel".
But do you have any fear
of that sh*t?
As a PR dude, when you get
that case and you're like,
"Oh, this is gonna be easy
because the world's
just taking it easy
on your group right now."
People of color probably have it
easier than White people.
Oh, ooh. You better say that.
SAM JAY: Someone can write sh*t
about you,
and that sh*t can fully affect
your f*ck' situation.
-Hundred percent!
-
-SPEAKER: So, you're efficient
with a BB g*n.
-
What do you think about
Black safety in America?
-We can speak freely, right?
-Yeah.
I'mma go with this.
All right,
maybe I shouldn't have a g*n.
Okay, cool.
Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register
01x01 - c*ons
Watch/Buy Amazon
Each episode takes place in a house party, where comedian Sam Jay talks to guests over drinks about the episode's central topic.
Each episode takes place in a house party, where comedian Sam Jay talks to guests over drinks about the episode's central topic.