Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.

Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?

Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register

01x02 - Trial and Error

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Government Cheese". Aired: April 16, 2025 – present.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


In 1969, Hampton Chambers, a convicted burglar, is released from prison and returns to his home in Chatsworth, Los Angeles, where he reunites with his family and tries to start over with a second chance by inventing the "Bit Magician", a self-sharpening power drill.

01x02 - Trial and Error

Post by bunniefuu »

[narrator]

This is the tale of the Prevost brothers,

who began their soon-to-be prolific

lives of crime

in the backwoods of Quebec, Canada.

They were poor.

Some would say dirt poor.

[speaking French]

[narrator] Their mother was a stern woman

who became colder with each birth.

Because after six boys,

all she wanted was a girl.

[groaning, straining]

[baby crying]

[in French] sh*t!

Good luck.

[narrator, in English]

Upon the arrival of the seventh boy,

she promptly departed.

[baby cooing]

[narrator]

So they were raised by their father,

who had a fifth-grade education

and a stern backhand.

So to the best of his complete inability,

he raised:

Patrice,

Nicholi,

Claude,

Felix,

Jacques,

Darius,

and Jean-Guy.

After being ridiculed at school

for their dirty clothes,

their bond deepened with their hatred

for people outside of their fraternity.

[children gasp]

[sighs]

[in French] Do you alter pants?

Let me see what we can do.

[narrator, in English] And they realized

as one they were nothing,

but as seven bonded together

they could make life easier

and pull themselves out of abject poverty.

[brothers laughing]

Some would say their lives

of brutal crime was predestined.

Others would say it was

born out of necessity.

I say that it doesn't matter

how it came to be, just that it now is.

- [victim shouts]

- [patrons gasp]

[groans]

[speaking French]

[speaking French]

[narrator] But once they began to

enjoy the fruits of their labor

[police siren blares]

Patrice.

I can't make this go away.

Someone has to do some time.

[narrator] Jean-Guy's position

as the youngest became untenable.

[prison gate slams]

Jean-Guy hated prison.

And he hated his older brother Patrice

for putting him there.

Today we're gonna work on goals

and intentions.

If you want to change your life,

you have to plan.

Thoughts. Thoughts become words.

Words become actions.

And actions shape your reality.

So I want you to write down

three things you want to achieve.

One.

Create new revenue streams.

Two.

k*ll Patrice.

[chuckles] Three

take over the family.

So how did you even get out?

- [prisoners clamoring]

- [Jean-Guy] I started the riot.

Planted that it was due to overcrowding.

Little grease on the right palms

and voilà.

Here I am.

[sighs] Here you are.

So why are you here?

I will give you the money

to pay off the debt to my brothers.

In exchange for your invention.

[scoffs]

You want my drill?

I want your drill.

Why?

I want more than a life of crime.

I want a legitimate business.

Legitimate, huh?

[chuckles]

Sounds like

you're trying to strong-arm me.

Legitimate business doesn't mean fair.

This drill is all I have.

Without it I'm just an ex-con.

This invention is my future.

My family's future.

[chuckles] I can't just give it up.

My brother, Claude,

once made a man who couldn't pay his debt

collect all the teeth

of the people he k*lled.

Very unsavory. [chuckles]

I convinced Patrice

to give you the two weeks.

- You did?

- Yes.

Because I know you won't have the money.

And I hope you change your mind

before my brothers decide to k*ll you.

Oh, and, uh

I'm sorry about Rudy.

Such a terrible way to die.

[sighs]

[sighing]

If you want to change your life,

you have to plan.

Thoughts. Thoughts become words.

Words become actions.

And actions shape your reality.

I'd like you to write down

three things you'd like to achieve.

Okay? Go for it.

[muttering] Business plan. Business plan.

[typing]

Hey, Pops. You're up early.

I'm a man with a mission. A plan. Destiny.

Me too.

[sighs]

Morning reading is

Economic Growth in Agriculture

and the training schedule

of Cornelius "Dutch" Warmerdam,

greatest pole-vaulter west of Kansas.

Can you add the "Help Wanted" section

to that list?

I have a job.

- You do? You didn't tell me that.

- You never asked.

I'm a lifeguard at the Y.

How else would I study

the photosensitivity of manta rays?

I thought you were pole-vaulting?

- Hey, Mom.

- Hi, honey.

Son, can I get you some breakfast?

- I eat food from mother earth.

- Thanks.

Not the government.

- [Hampton sighs]

- He fixed the refrigerator.

Harrison. I know this is hard,

but I'm here trying to make things right.

Too late.

It's never too late. We're a family.

And you need to start

treating me with respect.

[scoffs]

Now both you and Einstein are going to be

in charge of yard work.

Astoria, I'm going to

take over the kitchen duties,

and we're going to start

having dinner together as a family.

- Clear?

- Clear as a spring day, Pops.

Dinner's at six.

Okay. Oh, Pops. The

in the fridge, the container

with the green lid that looks like soup?

It's not soup.

Don't drink it. It will k*ll you.

Huh.

Uh.

Can I, uh, get you some breakfast, dear?

Mmm. I just drink coffee.

Uh, I was wondering

if you might be free later

to have an afternoon date

with your husband?

I can stop by your job.

No. Too soon.

But I'll be home for dinner.

Honey. No kiss goodbye?

Come on.

Just one, just one bye. Mmm?

There it is.

[chuckles] Your smile was all I needed.

Have a good day at work.

Dinner's at six.

[door opens, closes]

[Bootsy]

One bottle of very expensive scotch,

unknowingly gifted to you

by Lefty's Liquor on Magnolia.

Thanks, man.

[inhales deeply] Can-Can you drop me off?

I'm short on time.

Time?

It's an illusion. Construct.

Made by man to control the sheep.

What are you talking

There is no past, there is no present.

There is no future.

It's all happening right now,

so slow down

and enjoy the view.

Come on, Boots.

[stammers] I have to meet

my parole officer,

get some money to help

Astoria with the bills,

get to the bank by five

and then home to cook dinner by six.

Huh? The answer to all your problems

is right here.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I-I've got to go.

But can you at least

give me a ride to the bus?

- [sighs] I can't give you a ride.

- [sighs]

But I can give you a ride.

My old car. I kept it up and running.

[sniffs]

[both chuckling]

You wanna rob a temple?

Don't think of it as a temple.

Think of it as a house.

A house with very little security

and a brand-new,

carbon steel, drill-proof safe

that your invention

has just rendered drillable.

Bootsy.

After the Sabbath, there's gonna be two,

three thousand dollars

in that safe until Monday.

Just sitting in there.

All lonely and sh*t.

[chuckles]

[Hampton sighs]

I know what you're thinking.

"But what about the security, Boots?"

My response would be, "Security?

What security?"

The only security is Eli,

the maintenance guy,

but he likes to spend his Saturday nights

gambling at the Prevost farm.

It's perfect.

Your drill, my plan? [sucks teeth]

Huh?

Huh? [chuckles]

No, no. My dreams do not include

another bid of five to ten.

[Bootsy] You think this job

will put you back inside?

Wait till you see what the Prevosts

make you do when you can't pay.

You can't escape the brothers

in this town.

They have eyes everywhere.

I got a line on some cash.

Well, I hope it works out for ya!

[phone rings]

Evan Rush Designs.

No, he's back.

I didn't even know he got out.

I didn't know he was coming.

About that.

I have to be home for dinner.

Okay. Maybe after.

I have to go.

Bye.

[employee] Make sure you get that

signature down on the invoice, all right?

You hear me? I'm serious.

This time you got to do the paperwork.

"Bit Magician is

an approved vendor of Rocketcorp."

He liked the scotch.

[inhales deeply] A little too much.

I think he might have a drinking problem.

And that is not our problem.

I've gotta run.

Greatness is afoot, Manfred.

Greatness is afoot.

[song continues]

[chattering in French]

[chattering continues]

Sir. Uh, we have some,

uh, suspicious Canadians.

[panting]

Oh.

[speaks French]

[speaks French]

I am so sorry I'm late.

Don't make a habit of it.

Have a seat. Let's get started.

[grunts] Okay.

- You ready?

- Yep.

- No drugs.

- No.

No consorting with felons?

I am done sharing bunks in a 6-by-8

with unsavory keymen

and intimidation experts.

[chuckles] Colorful description.

[chuckles]

Here's your exit check.

We'll check your place of residence.

You start working road maintenance

next week.

Hey. Get yourself some steel-toe boots.

Anything else you need?

Please forgive me as I walk

a delicate balance here,

as you are my parole officer,

the man who holds my future in his hands,

and I'd never wanna

tarnish your view of me

or put you in a precarious position,

but, uh

- You need money?

- Yes. Yes.

I need money today.

I can't have my wife

thinking I'm just sitting around.

I have, um, obligations.

You don't have to explain.

There is nothing like having

a wallet of cash

to make you feel like

you don't wanna do anything

that might put your future in jeopardy.

Yes, sir.

I like to think of myself

as a man of great ingenuity and skill,

but even Jesus

couldn't make no water into wine.

- [laughs]

- I hear you.

I know someone.

Thank you so much.

Only use it on the fish.

Of course.

I've had a man slice off his thumb

and not even realize it

till it landed in the fish heads.

Quite an unlucky loss.

The most important digit

in the history of our species.

[chuckles]

You're paid per pound of fish.

I'd say more boning and less jawing.

Of course.

[groans]

- [phone ringing]

- Mmm.

- Now you see?

- Mm-hmm.

So this is 100% silk velvet.

You see?

[ringing continues]

Evan Rush Designs.

This is Mrs. Chambers.

He did what?

And that's how America conquered the West,

where we live now.

Thank you, U.S. Army.

Thank you, Debbie.

- It's bullshit.

- [students gasp]

Manifest Destiny was manifest m*rder

and oppression of Native American people.

Do you think the White man's God said,

"Go m*rder and take the land"?

And they call Natives savages.

[teacher] Out of my classroom, now.

Did you try calling the house?

His father might be

No answer.

Yes, I'll be right there.

[sighs]

[cutting, scraping]

[coughs]

[employees chattering]

Mr. Briess.

I'm sorry.

I have to go to my son's school.

[Mr. Briess]

Tell Cynthia to cover the phones.

Thank you.

This is what I get

for hiring a woman with kids.

[phone ringing]

[sighs]

I didn't curse at the teacher.

I cursed in front of the teacher.

You think that changes anything?

I could lose my job for leaving work.

[sighs] Mom, I'm sorry.

But Manifest Destiny?

- Harrison.

- Ma, I

I have to stand up for what I believe in.

We both know what this is really about.

[sighs] Yeah.

Hampton sucks.

And I wish he never came back.

He is your father,

and whether we like it or not,

it's his house too.

[scoffs]

Do you remember

when he stole my paper route money?

I got fired.

He forged my paychecks.

He got me fired too.

[Harrison] He took me to

a Hells Angels barbecue for my birthday.

He pawned my engagement ring.

You married him.

[Hampton sighs]

Decent.

It's been a malodorous pleasure, Ma'am.

The bank!

So you're looking for

a small business loan for $2,500

for a drill company?

Ms. Hudson,

I have ten years' experience in machining.

My partner, Manfred Brinks,

currently on a business trip, has 20.

That's 30 years' knowledge

in a growing field.

We know the market, and we know the buyer.

Once this tool gets out there,

every handyman and machinist is gonna be

clamoring to get their hands on it.

[Ms. Hudson] Mmm.

Well, I see that your selling price

is 150 per unit,

- 25 for materials.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

And labor is almost free?

I was incarcerated

for the past three years

with the California State Penitentiary

of Chino.

During my tenure, I mastered

the ins and outs of the CNC lathe

and made this self-sharpening drill.

Now, the guys on C-block are some

of the best machinists out there.

I worked out a deal where,

instead of working for the state

for pennies,

they build these drills for me

and become partners

in a legitimate business.

[Ms. Hudson] Impressive business plan.

And you're an approved vendor

for Rocketcorp?

Yes. Yes, I am. Yes, Ma'am.

Well, this looks good.

- [laughing]

- And you've got the experience.

So, do you have anything

that you can put up for collateral?

Collateral?

Like a house?

Our house.

Um, it's in my wife's name.

But we are equals in marriage and life.

Here, talk to her about it.

Fill this out, have her sign it.

Asking a woman to put up her house.

That's not an easy feat.

She loves our home.

Um, it's-it's-it's the one space

that is solid and secure.

You know, the vicissitudes of this life.

- But she does believe in you, right?

- Of course she does.

This business of yours is a stellar idea.

- [sighs]

- So it won't be in jeopardy for long.

Mr. Chambers, hold on a minute.

[no audible dialogue]

I think he might [continues indistinctly]

Sure.

- [banker] Go ahead.

- [Ms. Hudson] Thank you.

Take a toaster. [chuckles]

We give them to people

who open new accounts.

And I want you to know that I fully expect

to open an account for you soon.

A toaster.

Thanks.

My pleasure.

All your branches do this?

Oh, yes. It's a company-wide promotion.

This is the last day.

[tires squeal]

[Hampton] Fifty.

How would you like that?

Fives and tens, please.

Oh, and can I open an account?

- Toaster?

- Yes, please.

- [engine starts]

- [tires squeal]

Harrison. Homework.

Einstein, where is your father?

He's not home.

Of course he's not.

[guitar playing]

Hey!

- [Einstein] Harrison, stop! Let go!

- [Harrison] Give it to me.

I can't f*cking think.

- What's going on?

- [Harrison sighs]

I can't think with the f*cking guitar.

It's a scientific fact that concentration

is best honed

against the backdrop of noise.

It's also a scientific fact

that I can beat your a*s.

Harrison, calm down.

Einstein, take the guitar to your room.

You're always taking his side.

Dinner's in 20 minutes.

- Where's your mother?

- She went out.

Said something about

you're not the only one with plans.

Where'd she go?

Out with Ronald.

Who's Ronald?

Some guy she's been seeing.

He's nice.

They went to the martini bar

on Sherman Way.

It's half-off oyster night.

Who the f*ck is Ronald?