02x02 - Blind Justice

[bunniefuu]

Facundo versus Adal Ramones

in the greatest battle
of the f*cking century

on season two of Prank or Tank!

PRANK OR TANK

-Unfortunately, Adal, you've lost.
-I'm gonna fly from here.

-Is he being thrown out?
-The punishment is there.

No! No!

No, look, idiot...

You're kidding! No, no, no!

SEND ME A MESSAGE AT:


No!

It's my number!

YES, IT'S HIS NUMBER

It's the phone that my wife
and my children answer.

-Don't be a p*ssy, dude.
-It's my job.

-Check the number.
-Don't be a p*ssy.

It's coming... You already have messages!

Hey, bro, looks like you like the Playroom
because you look naughty.

No!

-It's okay, man.
-I don't believe it!

-Who sent you that pic?
-You took it yourself.

-I'm going to k*ll both of you.
-Exactly.

You're f*cking Machiavelli.

Don't run away from success, Adal.

When did you come up with this?
What were you thinking?

That you'd be on Times Square?
Come on! Mexico City's World Trade Center!

-No.
-No, man.

Mexico City's World Trade Center.

-It wasn't me...
-You're making a dream come true.

-I was only invited to see.
-Oh, well.

Your massive ego,

-and now with a photo displayed...
-Shut up, creep!

...on the biggest building!

When has your ego ever been "satisfized"
in that way?

"Satisfied," dumbass!

-That's it, man!
-Satisfied too.

You can see it from an airplane.

It was a great idea.

Now open your OnlyFans.

-I still wasn't working out.
-So, like, yesterday.

Everything went perfectly.
Just as Escorpión and I planned.

It's a bit over the top,
but it's worth it.

Christian, you've set the bar
very high after this,

but I hope that each punishment
gets more and more messed up.

They keep coming.

-Hey, old daddy.
-No way.

-Chris, thanks you so much.
-Of course.

Any advice for the rest of the season?

No, just...

-be careful with the messages.
-Look at this.

-Careful with the messages.
-He should get a tan, right?

Just a little.

-Say goodbye to Christian, please.
-Thanks, Christian.

-You'll pay for that.
-Me? What, no.

You know it.

You know it, Christian! You know it!

These kinds of friendship
are good to have.

-Did you see how many houses he has?
-Big old man...

-Everyone's calling you, man.
-There's more? Wait.

-You can summon the masses.
-Adal,

sweetie, I didn't know you had
such a nice body.

Wow, no way.

-They keep coming.
-It's the group of my accomplices.

-Let's see...
-Attend to your fans.

There's a shitload, dude.
They keep coming and coming.

Let's see, let's listen.

GOOGLY EYES

What's up, Adal?
I've hear about your booty.

-Here's a little message for you.
-Hi, hi!

Listen, did you know that the glory
of a cowboy

-isn't measured by the size of his hat?
-But by the size of his r*fle. Hey!

GOOGLY EYES

They have to come
to the Old West to measure their r*fles.

This Old Pest? We'll take This Old Pest.
Get out of here, old man.

-The location...
-The Old West.

Or This Old Pest?

Here we go!

Where are you taking us?

After their first clash,
Facundo holds the lead with 150 points.

While the pathetic, old Ramones
has a pitiful 100.

But the good news is that

there's still a f*ck
of challenges left

where they can win 500,000 pesos

to donate to the charity of their choice.

So, I'm going to take them
to the Old West,

where they'll have to show
who's got what it really takes.

It will be a tough battle
between these two old dogs.

Guys, calls keep coming
'cause of your f*cking prank.

With me butt naked

-on the World Trade Center.
-More messages?

-No way.
-Yeah, listen.

Watch out, as*h*le!

-Stupid!
-You crashed!

-It's because he was showing me that!
-Dumbass!

-Dumbass...
-Stop and listen!

-You're the dumbass...
-Listen, dumbass. Listen to this.

Messages keep coming.

ESCORPIÓN DORADO
THE BIG CAT WITH BOOTS

That's the beauty of the punishment.
That we can see and hear his suffering

for the rest of the season.

-Listen!
-Is this what they teach people?

-Get serious, we're about to enter...
-The people already knew.

...the Old West.

-Oh, dear.
-This is not the west.

WANTED ALIVE OR DEAD
JAIL - WANTED

CEMETERY

UNDERTAKER

I acquired this place a few years ago.

It's full of outlaws,

young women of loose morals.

-All f*cking dropouts, right?
-Exactly.

-The Apache.
-Will there be work for me, man?

-Yes, definitely.
-Selling Amish cheese.

Maybe you'll meet your school buddies.

They're all here.

Easy, easy.

I'm actually crapping my pants.

They brought g*ns, dude.

But look how well they get along.

-Cowboys and Indians.
-Yeah.

-Listen...
-Wait.

Who's there?

Is someone there?

Seriously, I can't see, assholes.

-Oh, sh*t, you're right.
-Yes!

We're here, man!

Alexis "Googly Eyes," actor and comedian.

Reason for revenge: His idol has fallen.

The first time I appeared on television,
I was very excited

to meet Adal and guess what?

When I arrived, the guy wasn't there.

Type of revenge: I used to be your fan.

They're the outlaws
we've been looking for.

Hell yeah!

Caeli. Actress, singer
and content creator.

Reason for revenge: Workplace mix-up.

Facu and I,
well, we have a little history, right?

He invited me to be on his show,
and I had a segment and loved it.

From my side,
they stopped calling me, out of nowhere.

According to him, I stopped showing up.

This is a good time

to meet up and see who's right.

Type of revenge: Work.

-Caeli!
-Googly Eyes!

My accomplices on this episode.

Such cowboys!

Googly Eyes, you've fallen so far,
you've run into Caeli.

-What's up, Googly Eyes?
-What's going on?

Googly Eyes came out and I thought,
"He's already recognized me."

-Dude.
-Sorry, I can't with this.

-Why can't you?
-Listen, the next challenge,

-I have to say that I set it up.
-No!

There will be a little bit of sh**ting.

-We're in the Old West.
-Right?

-Of course!
-Go on.

Then let's begin Looking for the Old West!

-Hell yeah!
-No, looking for...

This Old Pest!

This Old Pest.

Welcome to This Old Pest!

No, as*h*le!

-"Find This Old Pest."
-You piece of sh*t.

Hold on, excuse me.
We have a ton of takes where

-he can't say it.
-Quiet!

-This is how it's going to air, dude.
-"Find."

-Three, two...
-Two.

-Find This Old Pest!
-Here with you!

-From Hell!
-From Hell!

From Purgatory!

FIND THIS OLD PEST

Taking turns, Facundo and Adal will have
five seconds to turn around,

find their rival among the masked cowboys,

sh**t and hope that they haven't f*cked up
an innocent person.

The one who hits his opponent the most
gets 100 points.

But to determine who goes first,
we have to bring in the lawyer.

Lawyer, come here,
you've changed your look.

Look at that great hair.

Lawyer, flip the coin.

-The coin toss.
-Let's see who goes first.

-What is it?
-Which side?

-Red!
-Red!

-Red?
-Yeah, go ahead, man.

-It's red.
-I was born ready.

Since I was an embryo...

I've been ready.

Look, Adal's going to be like this...

Pop! Pop, pop, pop! Dead.

-Okay, it's time.
-It's time.

-Facundo.
-What is it?

Prank or tank?

-Come on.
-Prank!

Targets,

reveal yourselves now!

Five! Four!

Three! Two!

One!

Don't move, Ramones, don't move.

Hold your breath, bro.

You screwed up, as*h*le.

f*cking hell! He k*lled him!

He hit the other dumbass!

He hit the other guy!

Go see how I k*lled Adal.

-On three.
-He's been shot down.

One, two, three.

So?

Was it him? Is it over?

It's not Adal because this guy doesn't
look like a junkie.

Okay, tell him to prepare his weapon.

Meanwhile, help me get rid of this guy.

Facundo! As expected, you f*cked up.

No!

-It's not him.
-It wasn't?

-No. I thought it was, it...
-It looked like him.

I saw the beard and thought,
"I guess not." They all look alike.

I'm confused. I think I forgot
what Adal looks like.

Honestly, I wouldn't have recognized Adal.

Attention, targets!

Change places!

Come on.

Which one is over there
smiling like a rat?

That's Adal.

Reveal yourselves now!

-Let's count down!
-Five! Four!

Three! Two! One!

He hit him in the ba*ls.

-He hit him the ba*ls!
-No way!

Hell yeah!

I'm a chameleon!

I'm the king of disguise!
That f*cking loser!

It's not Adal, is it?

-Impossible.
-Feels like Raúl Velasco back in the day.

I'm just about ready to cry.

Targets, change places!

Reveal yourselves now!

Five! Four!

Three! Two! One!

-Hey, he's still going.
-Hey!

-Wait!
-Hey, hey!

It has to be Adal!

What the hell? Hey!

What?

-Calm down, dude.
-Dude!

-There are rules to this game...
-What rules?

It's going to come down on us!

This dude's crazy!

These guys are idiots,

but it was my mom who didn't
get enough folic acid?

Ladies and gentlemen,
the last man standing

is Mr. Adal Ramones!

Where were you, you b*stard?

-He's got no b*ll*ts.
-I've got no b*ll*ts, man.

He's unscathed.

It was nothing. It's just that I thought,

"It's this one or that one,"
and it was the wrong one.

All right, Adal.

We're halfway there. He couldn't find you.

-But now...
-Halfway there, but I'm going to Tucson.

...it's your turn.

Facundo, get changed!

I have three chances to hit

Facundo McCoy's greasy a*s.

Hey, Escorpión.

Escorpión, this thing is so easy.

-What?
-I can sh**t.

Alexis can do it better,
he'll teach you how to sh**t.

-I'll give you lessons.
-I'll give it to Alexis.

Get away from there.

I'll give you lessons, Adal. Right now!

-Aim at him, aim at him.
-Okay.

-No!
-Give it to me!

-Aim it!
-You gotta be kidding!

Wait!

-No, wait!
-The Lord of the Blind has arrived!

THE LORD OF THE BLIND

Enough!

-Stop!
-Run!

No way.

I f*cked up three members
of the production. Rest in peace.

No way, you shot me.

-A question for you, Adal.
-Let's hear it.

Prank or tank?

Gentlemen, Facundo McCoy
has already failed.

Prank!

Okay! Come on!

Outlaws, to your places!

Let's say it.

Five! Four!

Three! Two! One!

-Did you see him?
-He k*lled him!

-He k*lled him.
-He k*lled him. Come on!

There he is.

Let's go, Escorpión!

Adal Ramones is sharp.

He'll score a point or score with you.

Tell me if I hit him!

I don't think it's Facundo.

-The face feels older.
-Let me see?

-He's got more...
-Do you recognize the p*stol?

Yeah, he's circumcised.

So, then is it him or not?

-Not him.
-Not him!

-It's not him!
-What?

Here we go. Five!

Now I'm gonna go all out

on the last member of the vile generation
of the McCoy family.

One!

Not the blind guy!

No!

He hit him!

-Did you see?
-He hit him?

-He hit him!
-Come on!

-Bird's-eye view.
-Bird's-eye view.

They all look the same from here!

See if you recognize him.

-His face is here.
-He's wounded!

-No!
-Really? Let's see?

-Why did you put his hand there?
-I didn't do it. He's blind.

Googly Eyes does pretty well
for not being able to see.

This gentleman cleans toilets.
It's not Facundo.

-It's not.
-Great.

-Take the expert...
-Okay.

-Goodlooks.
-Mr. Goodlooks, of course.

Despicable Facundo McCoy!

I'm going to find you, you rat!

Five! Four!

Three! Two! One!

sh**t!

-He got him in the leg!
-No way!

Even I saw that one! Come on!

-That one stung, dude.
-That one hurt.

Do we need a wheelchair?

Damn! What a bad place to get shot.

Is is Facundo or not?

-It's Facundo!
-Hell yeah, it is, dude.

-Ladies and gentlemen!
-It's Facundo!

Adal Ramones is the winner!

Go f*ck yourself, Facundo McCoy! I win!

Thank you, team,
I couldn't have done it without you.

But if we're hired as Santa Clauses,
we can laugh differently.

But right now we're outlaws.

He may look like a cowboy mouse,
but f*cking Adal displayed his outlaw side

and won this challenge with 100 points.

And now he takes the lead with 200 points.

Let's go to the second challenge.

I've got everything set up for them,
who, just between us,

are dead ringers for my d*ck.

WANTED

PRANK OR TANK

My favorite customers.

Welcome, foreskin faces!

-Why are you angry?
-Welcome.

-What's up?
-We came for a drink.

-Are they going to serve us?
-Hey, you, bartender!

-Fix us something.
-Alcohol makes you blind!

I can serve you now.

-I'll get you another f*cking challenge.
-What?

-Shut your eyes, is what...
-Hey, but...

-...this challenge is called.
-What's it called?

Shut your g*dd*mn eyes!

SHUT YOUR EYES

It goes like this. Caeli and I will be
throwing gold coins on the ground

so that Adal and Facundo can pick them up,
like the starving foragers they are.

But it won't be that simple.

They'll have squeaking rubber chickens
tied to their feet

that Googly Eyes will use
to find them and f*ck them up.

Whoever collects the most coins
will get 100 points.

When are they
strapping the chickens to us?

-Or will they use the magic of editing?
-Exactly!

Dude!

Here we go!

-Look, chickens.
-Yeah!

-Just look.
-Very nice shoes.

My calves are in good shape

due to years of ballet.
So, for me... Look.

Standing on pointe. Check it out.

I got this squeaking chicken.

-Are you ready, Alexis?
-Ready.

Googly Eyes, get your weapon.

Justice is blind and I'm justice,
you bums.

But first of all,
just look at what we have.

-What's that called?
-That's...

-Your third eye.
-My third eye, my dear Caeli.

-Cyclops.
-The only one that works.

-Don't let go or it'll...
-There it is.

I'm gettin stiff, if you know what I mean.

f*cking Googly Eyes, man,
he's been training his arm.

You'll see. It's amazing.
He's going to f*ck them up.

Let's begin in...

Five!

Four! Three!

Two! One!

Prank or tank!

Hit him hard!

Almost!

Get him. There! Hit him!

-He went over there.
-Straight ahead. Hard!

-Hard! There he is!
-That's it!

-Get him!
-I'm gotten, man!

They really f*cking hurt,

those belts.

-Facundo's behind you on the floor.
-To the right.

On the ground, dude.

There. That's it.

f*ck!

Below you!

That's it!

f*ck!

f*ck, my money!

-My money!
-There!

Don't hold back!

You can really tell
Googly Eyes is sexually enjoying this.

Taking pleasure in whipping others.

You can tell because his eyes go white.

ADAL RAMONES
PLAYING FOR THE MICHOU Y MIAU FOUNDATION.

-No mercy, Alexis.
-That's it.

Don't! It's a trap!

Sorry!

They called me the executioner!

Down there.

f*cking Adal. More, more.

-Adal's moving fast.
-To the right.

-He's moving... Not the camera!
-Hard!

-Hard right there!
-Here?

Can I?

I have to get revenge on someone.
I don't care who.

They're moving pretty slowly.

What's happening?

Save me, assholes!

Stop! Enough!

f*cking Alexis was out of control.

I didn't know he had
such anger inside him.

-Get out of here!
-You've got him!

-You've got them both!
-There!

You've got them!

There! That one!

-Behind you!
-Behind!

-Behind you!
-You've got them!

-Adal's behind you.
-Behind you!

Five! Four!

Three! Two! One!

Time's up!

All right!

I don't know if they know
that watching is participating.

It's like an orgy. You can't just watch.

ACUNDO
PLAYING FOR NATURA MEXICANA.

Let's move on
to the counting stage, Ramones.

-Let's go.
-Bring up your loot.

Are we going to count the blows?

-Here, one, two...
-No, no.

-...three, four.
-The coins.

Caeli, please count Mr. Ramones' coins.

I'll count Facundo's.

-He picked up a lot.
-By weight.

-Yeah?
-No, no.

-One, two...
-Let's see.

...3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,







Forty-seven coins for Ramones!

-Nice, Pops!
-Forty-seven!

And not a single blow to the face.

-Do you think you won, Facu?
-Obviously!

-Forty-seven coins for Mr. Ramones.
-No, man!

-f*ck, I screwed up.
-Yeah.






Thirty-three!

The winner is Adal Ramones!

McCoy!

Now you'll receive your punishment, McCoy!

Well, you'll receive...

In this challenge, Facundo AKA
the d*ck-headed servant,

didn't even win the coins he collected.

Meanwhile, it's not only the years
adding up for Adal, but also 100 points.

In addition to the blows
you got from Googly Eyes,

you'll get a good punishment.

-sh*t, what's the punishment?
-Here come the Mexican.

Native American, Ninja Turtles!

Dude, this is the punishment.

The beating was punishment enough!

The beating was enough!

You're not taking me anywhere, assholes!
Let me go!

Let me go!

PUNISHMENT

PRANK OR TANK

Save me from this!

-No way.
-What is this sh*t?

Get me out of here!

Now you'll see about the love of God
in the land of scorpions, white man.

I hate you, Googly Eyes!

PRANK OR TANK

For this, I'm not going
to set up the dynamics. He will.

-No freaking way!
-Let's go, Pops!

-Hug him!
-Let's go, Pops!

What did they do?

They're his daughters!

Have you ever seen
a d*ck pic of your father's?

Yes!

Your house is huge, man.

Why did you try that, dude?

What the f*ck is this?

Enough. Mercy, mercy. That poor guy.

I'm not getting in. We'll get typhoid.

Won't be your first venereal disease.

Ramones!

-No, wait!
-No way!

Looks like we had an accident.

PRANK OR TANK