01x02 - Episode 2

[bunniefuu]

Escorpión Dorado and Facundo

face each other

in ten extreme challenges

across the country.

These challenges have been created

by iconic people from their past,

like Franco Escamilla,

who's here today to test their skills

with the help of a special guest,

Piojo Herrera.

They're used to Mexico City,

their comfort zone.

I said, "No, come to the ranch."

The winner of each challenge

will be awarded money

that will later be donated to a charity.

But the loser will suffer

a humiliating and painful punishment.

This is Prank or Tank.

PRANK OR TANK

After two challenges and a little souvenir

that Facundo got from Escorpión,

this is just getting started.

It hurts, as*h*le!

Escorpión's in the lead

with 100,000 pesos in his account.

All the money that Escorpión

racks up during the competition

will go to the foundation Por un Hogar,

which offers thanatological support

to patients in public hospitals.

If Facundo ends up winning,

his donation will go to Natura Mexicana,

which helps preserve nature.

Let's see who wins today's challenges.

I heroically endured my first punishment,

like I was supposed to do.

Okay, enough!

Who's been drawing on his bald head

with a sharpie?

-What's that, jerk?

-Nothing.

Wait, we have a message.

What's up, b*tches? How are you?

I heard about

your little catfight, assholes.

Come over to Monterrey.

I've prepared something cool here for you

to see who's the real GOAT.

By the way, I want you both well dressed,

like real Monterrey locals.

I'll send you the location.

Buy some good outfits,

I want you to look fancy.

Don't take long, see you.

You in for the prank or will you tank?

-Who's that?

-I think it's Samuel García.

Name: Franco Escamilla.

AKA: Lobo López.

Challenges: Skills.

Reason for revenge: Professional mockery.

Escorpión says

he's just a stand-up comedian

and boasts about being responsible

for Franco's fame.

Grudge level: 8.5.

Although I'm not from Monterrey,

Monterrey is mine.

Like that or more douchey?

-That's good.

-Okay.

-No, it's Franco Escamilla.

-How are you, gentlemen?

-You

-This chest is for you.

You know Franco. You know what that means?

I can't reveal anything,

but here's your chest.

-Ready?

-Let's see.

-Oh, f*ck.

-No.

Do I have to tattoo this on him too?

-Yes.

-Let's see

What's going on?

We have to go to Monterrey?

-Yes.

-I won't wear a hat and all that sh*t.

-I'll take this.

-Okay.

Let's go.

That's bullshit. Is this your cell phone?

It belongs to production.

-Can I come with you?

-No!

Okay! See you in Monterrey.

PRANK OR TANK

I'm not going to Monterrey in that.

Why not? We'll make it.

-We'll get there.

-Change it for a gray one or something.

-Let's go by plane.

-Plane? That's boring.

Watch it!

f*ck! You're not made of plastic, idiot!

-Do you know Franco Escamilla?

-Nope.

-Why did you say "nope"?

-I'd like to meet him.

But he's always badmouthing you.

Everyone does until they meet me

and see I'm cool.

How come he's never invited you

to his shows?

Maybe he's jealous.

Breaking news!

Facundo says Escamilla's jealous.

Can you believe this guy?

-How about that? Which way to Monterrey?

-Take the right.

-Monterrey is that way.

-Monterrey, here we come.

I feel like having a barbecue.

Some spicy beans. f*ck it, let's see.

When I think of Monterrey,

I think of brewski.

-Don't say "brewski" there.

-A beer.

-A beer.

-Yeah.

MEXICO CITY

They're on their way to Monterrey.

But the competition

is just getting started.

MONTERREY, MEXICO

Are they ready for what's ahead?

It smells like Monterrey, Facundo!

-We made it to Monterrey!

-It's f*cking freezing.

Damn it! But the heater's on, that's good.

-No way, man.

-Hey, dude

I don't feel I can blend in in Monterrey.

-I told you so.

-I'll be bullied. I'm a city boy.

Where did Franco say

we can buy cool clothes?

Around here, dude. In downtown.

That dude isn't even from here.

He's from Morelos.

-He migrated here.

-He's from Morelos?

So, why's he acting like a damn cowboy?

He says "Like so."

-I think he's full of it!

-He's full of it. Exactly, dude.

Over here I think it's around here.

Where it says "Hats and Boots"?

It says,

"Franco Escamilla's Cowboy Store."

-It's here.

-He sent us to his own store?

-Damn right!

-No wonder, man. What an as*h*le.

-We're here.

-Right.

The bosses are here! f*ck yeah!

I'll show you how to dress up

like a real cowboy,

because you're a city boy.

Yeah, that's true.

These dudes arrived

dressed like PE teachers.

Let's see if they manage

to look more local.

Wow, how's this look, assholes?

You look like a car salesman from Texas.

Exactly, dude.

You selling cheese?

How's this look?

Shut up. Who hired a stripper?

This is it, dude.

Yee-haw, dudes!

Now that they're pimped out

with their local outfits,

our gladiators meet up with Franco.

Like we say in showbusiness, break a leg!

-It was about f*cking time.

-Give me five!

It's not like you're waiting in the sun.

You got shade and brewskis over there.

Why are you dressed up like Sinaloans?

-You told us to.

-You told us to dress up.

Classic Franco Escamilla outfit.

This is the typical Monterrey outfit.

-He's even got fuzz sticking out!

-f*ck you!

-Today I'll get carried away.

-Okay.

-Have you ever ridden a horse?

-Yes.

Riding and being ridden

I've always been a good rider,

but also a good beast.

Untamable, but a beast.

We'll do some bull riding, as you can see.

What's that?

Pure manure, gentlemen!

-What?

-What?

The bull's surrounded by sh*t?

Whose crap is it? Franco's?

-So, whoever lasts the longest wins?

-No, whoever falls first.

-Of course the longest!

-One go only?

No, you have three attempts.

-Can we throw crap on the rider?

-No. Three attempts.

Whoever holds on the longest,

after all three attempts, will win.

Of course, the loser will be punished.

Rock, paper, scissors to see who starts?

Use your f*cking system.

Bring Dr. Volados.

-You have someone.

-Dr. Volados.

Dr. Volados, please.

Can you believe

he gets paid just to flip a coin?

Punisher!

Whoever wins the toss starts.

Let's see who starts.

-He's the Great Khali.

-Escorpión!

-To the rodeo!

-Thanks, Great Khali.

-He doesn't talk?

-It's fine. I'm a god. I don't back down.

Mechanical bull-sh*t!

No way, dude.

At least you'll have cleaned up the sh*t

by the time it's my turn.

There's nowhere to hang on to, dude.

Hold on with your legs, idiot.

You never ridden before?

-It's dangerous!

-Ready?

Stick your hand in the back. In that hole.

Take it easy, as*h*le!

-Relax.

-Hold on tight with the bit at the back.

-Shut up!

-Relax.

There's a strap. There.

You're gonna fall off.

Don't cheat to avoid a hard fall, dude.

Remember we have our honor.

There's honor So long, loser!

Take that! It even headbutted you!

There's honor So long, loser!

Take that! It even headbutted you!

Fourteen seconds!

-You're kidding.

-Plus the hit to the head!

The bull almost got me.

-Is it really hard or what?

-There's nowhere to hold on to.

It's all in the hips.

Riding the bull is like having sex,

it's all in the rhythm.

You have to move your hips right.

-Okay.

-We'll start slow. Hold on, buddy.

That's it, it's all in the hips! Look.

It's all in the hips!

There's sh*t running down my back!

Seventeen seconds!

-What do you mean 17, man?

-Give me five.

I'll beat the sh*t out of Facundo.

Move it gently.

I made you famous, as*h*le.

as*h*le!

Hit it hard! Are you from Morelos or what?

23 SECONDS

Take that!

Getting there!

19 SECONDS

No f*cking way!

I ate something.

The winner is the one

that lasts the longest.

But it looks like they enjoy

landing on fecal matter.

-What happened?

-b*stard, you'll k*ll me!

You're gonna k*ll me, idiot!

Be more responsible!

Not the f*cking backbreaker on the sh*t.

-Not the backbreaker!

-Yes or no?

-Yes or no?

-No!

Not the f*cking backbreaker!

-Eat sh*t!

-No.

f*ck, I'm eating sh*t.

Just look at what people do

for a meal. f*ck.

-Franco's too clean, right?

-Yeah.

Franco.

You know your fate.

He's getting away! Don't let him get away!

Come on, fight! Get him! Fight!

I used the fat guy technique.

I was losing, so I dropped to the ground.

Pick me up, b*stards.

No! Enough!

Where's the intern?

Nobody's gonna come out clean from this.

Is that a new mole?

It's a little souvenir.

I don't know if they passed the challenge,

but at least sh*t doesn't gross them out.

The loser racked up 42 seconds.

-Okay.

-The winner

racked up

-fifty seconds.

-Okay!

-The winner of this challenge

-f*ck yeah.

is Escorpión Dorado!

Congratulations, Escorpión!

-Congratulations, dude.

-Thank you.

-Was that my prize?

-Yeah.

Thanks. Now f*ck off.

In this challenge, Facundo got 42 seconds,

and Escorpión, 50 seconds.

ESCORPIÓN

WINNER - $50K

So, the winner is Escorpión Dorado.

If you'd like, you can take a shower.

-No, like this.

-Go change

and we'll have a traditional

Monterrey barbecue.

-A f*cking barbecue?

-Yeah, man.

-f*ck yeah.

-We'll have a barbecue.

-With ice-cold beers?

-Ice-cold.

I'll get things ready

-You won't shower?

-No.

Escorpión's performance

was crappy, but he still won.

First a shower and then,

the reason we came to Monterrey.

To eat!

Just don't eat too much

because there's another challenge

and the loser will get punished!

Dude! I thought comedy paid better, man.

I said, "We'll see Franco's house,

with a pool.

-"It'll be cool."

-I'm not taking you to my real house.

I prepared a barbecue. Please, sit.

Wow, a f*cking barbecue!

-Cheers.

-Cheers.

A real beer. Cool!

Facundo against Lobo López

Lobo López.

That's his beat. It is what it is.

It's like a cumbia and

Eating some meat

Drinking some beer

Just look, now it's clear

Who's who in this house

I think it's very lonely

Sure, there aren't any buddies

But I got cameras rolling

To tell it to his face

There's nothing dumber

Than a f*cking masked diva

I don't like this anymore.

Let's do something else.

What's up?

What's up, Guarumo Dog?

Long time, no see.

Cheers.

To friendship and relaxation.

Don't start with your crap.

This is a friendly barbecue.

I wanna ride the dog.

Intern, intern, intern!

Jaime The Goblin's in the house!

-Let's all f*ck the intern!

-Hell yeah!

-No way.

-What the f*ck, dude?

What's wrong?

-Get up.

-The chest, sir.

-What chest? What do you mean?

-The chest.

Here it is.

When did the chest get here?

Yesterday, right?

At least it doesn't have bugs, or bombs,

or anthrax.

It's gotta have some breakfast.

Check if there's any.

-A beer.

-I got a notification.

-Who sent you a message?

-Franco Escamilla.

-No way.

-Wasn't he here last night?

I thought he'd make breakfast.

Rise and shine, b*tches!

How about last night?

That was some heavy drinking.

You probably forgot,

but there's still one challenge left

and a punishment for the loser.

You say you're good

at soccer, right? We'll see.

Here's the location.

I asked a buddy to keep an eye on you.

Bring your A game

because the punishment for the loser

is going to be harsh.

Soccer now?

MONTERREY, MEXICO

They're headed to the Tigres stadium

to meet a special guest.

They might lose self-esteem,

but at least

they'll get rid of their hangover.

Dude, it's here.

This is your home, your land,

your favorite team.

-I don't love them, but I respect them.

-I hate poor people sports.

Look who's there!

-Is it Piojo Herrera?

-It's Piojo Herrera!

Name: Miguel Herrera.

AKA: Piojo Herrera.

Challenges: Skill.

Reason for revenge: Fake father-in-law.

Piojo comes to have revenge

for all the times

Escorpión called him father-in-law

for no reason.

Grudge level: Seven.

-Father-in-law, how are you?

-Wait.

You're kidding. You can't come

dressed like that to the field.

-We were partying.

-This is a soccer field.

You can't step on the sacred grass

with that sh*t.

-Why?

-You're the Internet god,

and this is sacred.

He's the soccer god.

Don't mess with me, man.

My buddy Escamilla

-sent you guys to me.

-Are you gonna train us?

We'll challenge your skills,

your ability and fitness level.

Let's see if it's true

First, go change.

-You look ridiculous.

-What's wrong?

-Try to look like athletes.

-Change him for someone else.

Go change, come on. Hurry.

Bye. See you. I'll be here.

Go change, hurry.

Now we'll make Escorpión

and Facundo suffer.

We'll make them sweat buckets.

-I'm ready, Coach.

-Dude, really?

It's what we have.

I told you to change,

but not into costumes.

Okay, dude. We're trying to play it cool.

I chose blue so you'd like me.

-We look sporty, Coach.

-At least you look a bit better.

CHALLENGE: ba*ls, CUPS AND LICE

Each participant will don a bubble

and cross the circuit

while Piojo Herrera gives them crap.

At the end, they'll remove the bubble

and bring out their inner Messi

to get the ball

into a giant beer pong cup.

The one who scores the most wins.

ba*ls, cups, and lice.

-Okay, go! Go!

-Okay, dude.

Let's go!

Ten laps!

Outside the line, idiot.

Six

-Five

-Come one, dude.

One more!

-Damn Facundo, the ball!

-The ball!

Where are you going?

sh**t.

-Nothing!

-Another one.

Spooning.

Back to the beginning. Come on.

Move it, move it! Go!

Careful! You'll trip.

Well done, damn it!

The other way!

Come on! Go, go.

I'm coming, Coach.

-sh**t, dude.

-Watch this.

Nutmeg past Miguel Herrera!

Let's see.

Spooning.

Closer, the second closest ball.

I think Facundo's a bit clumsy.

REPLAY

-Luck's on my side!

-Last try.

I'll have to kick your asses.

Your last f*cking chance.

That's it, Facundo. You started really

Well done, Facundo.

Lift your legs, f*cking Escorpión!

One.

He's down!

Eight.

Closer, closer.

From here, the first one

to score wins. One at a time.

If he scores, you have one chance.

Get closer, you guys suck.

-No way.

-Nothing.

We'll never finish.

No way!

-A ball, man.

-It went in!

Hairy chest, give me power!

Go in!

He got it. If you don't score,

you'll get punished.

f*ck it up, f*ck it up!

-Come on.

-Move it!

f*ck it up, f*ck it up!

No pressure.

Victory!

-Victory!

-We have a winner.

No! How many chances did he have?

Thank you!

Officially,

Mr. Facundo has won this challenge.

Thank you!

FACUNDO

WINNER - $50K

Piojo Herrera's raising my hand.

-It's a dream come true.

-Well.

You don't know how it feels.

-Move it.

-It feels great.

-Can you do it again?

-Sure.

-Take a picture!

-Okay.

Now let's hear Franco's message.

-Let's see, Franco!

-Where is he?

What's your message?

-Franco?

-Where's Franco?

Look up there.

I'm dying here.

In case you didn't get it, you're tied.

There should've been a winner,

but you're both so useless

that you both lost.

Since you're both idiots,

let's test something

to see if you get a bit smarter.

We'll tie you to the goalposts

and kick f*cking ba*ls at you

to see if you get any better.

My dear Piojo, they're all yours.

Hit them hard with the ball.

Maybe that'll fix them.

A tie? You couple of useless assholes.

Well said, Mr. Escamilla. Are we clear?

PUNISHMEN

Well, as Franco said,

they're tied because they're useless,

and now they'll both get punished.

Franco Escamilla, I hate you!

-Come kick some ba*ls. Come on.

-No!

Bloody hell! A doctor!

-For f*ck's sake!

-Release me.

Take that, idiots!

Hit them real hard!

Take that!

Let me go!

Help!

This is so that you stop screaming.

-Enough!

-Keep hitting them!

He's always messing with me.

Bring me this, bring me that.

Escorpión's in the lead

with 150,000 pesos.

And Facundo's now on the board

with 50,000 pesos.

Let's see if he catches up

in the next episode.

The worst hit I got

was the one from this dude.

Look at this.

-I know who did it!

-What a hit.

-I know who!

-They hit you in the arm.

Now you'll get it, as*h*le.

PRANK OR TANK

-From Monterrey to Huixtla?

-Hell yeah!

I'll give you two challenges.

Come on! Get ready!

-It hurts!

-No f*cking way.

You son of a b*tch.

"If you want your keys,

follow the arrows."

-Oh, no

-A classic Lola Cortés move.

Goodbye, idiots!

f*ck, f*ck!

They went too far. They're huge assholes.

I have my limits.