01x01 - Pilot

[bunniefuu]

WOMAN: So what brings

us here today, Jason?

JASON: Just in this weird space.

You care to elaborate a

little bit more on that?

Just been depressed,

not want to do much.

When's the last time that

you did something fun?

Gotta lot of sh*t

playing with my mental ♪

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

Hear strange sounds

coming from a distance ♪

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

It's been so long, I

can't even remember.

WOMAN: Is there anything in particular

that you think may be

triggering this feeling?

JASON: Probably this

wedding I'm going to tomorrow

and all the stress that's

coming along with it.

Whose wedding?

My boy Erick's.

We've been friends since high school.

Mm. Now, if it's Erick's wedding,

why are you stressing?

'Cause I don't got my sh*t together.

WOMAN: Now, is that a true feeling,

or is that a feeling you've

allowed society to give you?

This is your safe space.

Maybe it's a little of both.

Or maybe I'm just in my head.

It's just all moving so quick.

I don't even have a date

for the wedding tomorrow.

I mean, my friends Lacy

and Bryan will be there

to make things a little better,

but I know it's gonna be

a ton of family and friends

asking a whole lot of questions.

Now, how are things in the

dating department for you?

All I want is the

lust and the kisses ♪

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

Watch tickin', I

ain't even done livin' ♪

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

Got a lot of sh*t

playin' with my mental ♪

I'm dating.

But definitely no one

I'd bring to the wedding.

Okay. We've worked

through a lot of things

in the past with relationships.

And now that you are dating again,

are you dating with intent?

Yeah. I mean, I got it all

out of my system. I'm ready.

I do see the change in

you since we started,

and eventually you'll see it, as well.

Things will eventually start

moving in the right direction.

But I don't want you to be

too hard on yourself, okay?

Now you sound like Alexandria.

[CHUCKLES] See that?

Even your sister knows.

Yeah, but she can't even

come out the closet to my mom.

But this is my session.

Exactly. Do not deflect.

I won't.

What I want you to do is try to focus

on your friend's big day tomorrow.

Celebrate him. You

think you can do that?

Yeah. Yeah.

I think I will do that. Makes sense.

IDD: So I want you to go in there,

try to have the most amazing time.

But even if you can't have a good one,

don't you dare go messing

up nobody else's, okay?

[CHUCKLES] All right.

Sippin' whiskey, don't even drink ♪

I pay my dues, woke up tipsy ♪

Why the universe going against me? ♪

Got the universe going against me ♪

Lost in limbo, thoughts crescendo ♪

Blowing smoke, close the window ♪

I just wanna get my rhythm back ♪

[CELLPHONE VIBRATING]

[EXHALES DEEPLY] Hello?

IDD: Bro, what are you doing?

You were supposed to

be here an hour ago.

Oh, f*ck.

sh*t, man. I'm on my way. Sorry.

Damn.

Baby, I don't think it's a good idea

for you to smoke a

joint before the wedding.

Are you kidding me?

I was high at our own wedding.

You know, you should take a

couple of puffs for yourself.

It'll free you up so you can feel

all the beautiful vibrations today.

Would you mind toning down

the vibrations just a bit?

Erick's gonna be upset if

you scare off his guests.

Overdosing on the strong ♪

Can't keep it out my mind ♪

Can I take you home? ♪

Mr. and Mrs. Davidson.

Sorry I'm running late.

Oh, no worries, Jason.

Just glad you could make it.

- Hey, Jason.

- How you doing?

Come here, sweetie.

I'm picking up an aura from you.

You know what? Close

your eyes and breathe.

Okay? Now let out all the toxins.

Uh-huh. And take a puff of this.

- Yeah.

- Come on.

I don't think that's a good idea.

I'll see you guys inside, okay?

Okay, see you inside.

Okay.

He don't know what he's missing.

- Sexy chocolate.

- Oh, man.

Why is your collar so big?

Yo, what's up, baby?

What's Wait. Okay.

See, I told your a*s to lay

off them drinks last night.

Did I not? Did I not?

- Finish that for me.

- My bad, man.

Man, I drunk too much last night, bro.

Look, I need you to

pull it together, okay?

Today is my big day.

I got you, man. Anybody

got any aspirin, man?

- My head is k*lling me.

- I got you right here, player.

Here.

- Appreciate it.

- Yeah, no problem.

And wash it down with this.

Everybody knows the best

way to get over a hangover

is to have another drink.

ERICK: Jay.

What's up?

Look, I need you to

guard this with your life.

'Cause if you lose this, I'll k*ll you.

I'll revive you and I'll k*ll you again.

- I got you, man.

- All right.

Curious to see the view ♪

Now drowning in the waves of you ♪

I'm falling, falling ♪

Lisa, you look beautiful.

Whew. I am trying not to cry right now.

Unh-unh, Lacy, don't you dare, okay,

because you know it took

forever to do my makeup.

It's just Erick. It's all right.

Unh-unh-unh, you are speaking

about my husband, thank you.

I was just testing you,

making sure you still wanted

to go through with this.

- Uh-huh.

- But I want to thank you.

You saved my friend.

At the rate he was going,

he could have ended up with anything,

a stripper, an Insta

thot, a streetwalker.

But you saved him.

And you whipped that man into shape.

And look at him now.

Look at you now.

Thank you, Lacy, for

those kind, kind words.

I think.

No, that's that's a compliment.

So you ready?

Hey, man, as ready as I'm gonna be.

- Okay.

- You know, Jay, I always thought

you would have been the

first one getting hitched.

I mean, you're not getting any younger.

It's time for your

black a*s to settle down.

Man, settle Dude.

You've been engaged to Alicia

for the past three years.

When are you gonna stop

stringing her along?

Oh, my bad, my bad, my bad.

'Cause letting go of those side chicks

a little bit too much for you to handle.

Got it.

How about you stay out of

grown folks' business, okay?

See, our situation is different.

And actually, if you count our breakups,

we've really only been

together under a year.

I mean, at least I'm halfway there.

Your black a*s is single

and starting from scratch.

How about that?

ERICK: Jay, there is a fine line

between settling and compromising.

IDD: You know, I'm still confused

why you would even let Carmen get away.

Thaat fat a*s? Pshoo!

And she seemed to meet

everything on your list.

Uh, yeah, about Carmen, uh

Lisa invited her to the wedding.

Ooh.

What?

But, girl, you know what?

I tell women all the time,

you need to go ahead

and just grab the reins

and tell your man what it is

that he needs and what he wants

'cause you know they have no clue.

- None.

- [LISA LAUGHS]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

- Oh, Carmen, you made it.

- CARMEN: Of course!

You know I would not

miss this for the world.

Wow, you are stunning bride.

[SQUEALS]

Oh. Hey, Lacy.

Hey, girl.

So anyways, okay, are you by yourself,

or am I finally gonna

meet this fiancé of yours?

Yes. [LAUGHS]

He is waiting for me out front.

LISA: Aw, that's so good.

Oh, he's in front?

Yeah.

Okay. He's by himself?

Well, I'm here, so,

yeah, he's there by him

- Congratulations again.

- Oh.

- Good to see you, Lacy.

- Uh-huh. Bye, girl.

Okay. Bye, girl. Don't mind her.

So I'm very excited to meet him, though.

- I'm so glad you're here.

- Oh.

Yeah.

I know someone is not

gonna feel that way.

JASON: Why would she

think it's a good idea

to invite my ex to your wedding?

I don't know.

- Why would you even let her?

- BRYAN: Let her?

I'm sorry. Have you

ever met Lisa before?

Now, this is going to be good.

You know they kept in contact

after you guys broke up.

This is what I do not need.

I don't got time for

this. And you know what?

She's probably gonna bring that

little whack-a*s fiancé of hers.

Damn, I don't feel like this sh*t today.

Okay, be cool. Everything's

gonna be all right.

Actually, I heard Carmen's dude

just made the Forbes "top

businessmen under 40" list.

Does he sound lame to you?

He doesn't sound lame to

me. He sound lame to you?

JASON: Okay, okay, okay.

- Let me ask you this.

- What's up?

How long does his sack

hang? 'Cause you holding it.

- You holding it kind of tight.

- ERICK: Hey, hey. Guys, guys.

Look, relax, man.

You are the one, honey.

The most beautiful

bride I have ever seen.

I appreciate you.

I'm glad you're here, though.

Me too.

If you don't mind, I have

a question for you, my love.

What's the question?

So, are you happy?

You know that girl is in love with you.

She would drop that dude in a minute

if you came to your senses.

I'm not coming to my senses.

I was not gonna settle

because she gave me some ultimatum.

I mean, I needed more time.

Jay, how much more time did you need?

You guys dated for three years.

Since you guys broke

up, since you guys split,

have you met one girl who's

come close to her, hmm?

I'll wait.

We're waiting.

I didn't have time to

wait around for Jason

to figure out what he wanted.

- Yeah.

- He has a lot of trust issues.

- And we are not in our 20s.

- No.

So I moved on.

But are you over him?

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

LISA: You know what? Hey, hey, hey.

I apologize, 'cause first of

all, that's none of my business,

and second of all, what's

important is that you're happy.

- Okay?

- Yes. Yes.

I I I am happy.

- I love you.

- I love you.

CARMEN: Okay. Let me let

you finish getting ready.

I will see you when you are

officially Mrs. Davidson.

- Right?

- That's right.

CARMEN: Mrs. Davidson!

- Get out of the way, everybody.

- That part. [LAUGHS]

I'll admit, pickings are

slim, but I'll be good.

So you ready? Let's go, man.

BRYAN: Let's do it. It's game time!

JASON: What are you doing?

My legs can't move, bro. They numb.

JASON: Man, they better move

before Lisa come back here

and make sure they don't move again.

What happened to, "Jay, I'm

ready as I'm gonna be, man."

You did say that.

But sh*t just got real, man.

- What am I doing?

- BRYAN: What are you doing?

You are about to go

marry a fine-a*s woman

who was crazy enough to

marry a loudmouth little man

who can barely keep the lights on.

Boy, take your a*s out

there and marry this woman

before she comes to her senses.

Damn, are we all in high school again?

Lacy, what are you doing back here?

Now is not a good time.

I was just checking on Erick,

making sure them feet wasn't

getting cold back here.

JASON: Not now, Lacy!

Okay. Listen.

I came back here to tell Erick

I'm wishing him the

best on the ceremony,

but who you need to be

concerned with is Carmen.

Yes. She brought her rich,

fine, tall-a*s fiancé with her.

- Not now, Lacy.

- LACY: Okay, okay.

I'm gonna leave, but before I go,

just know they want to

know what's taking so long.

Is it g*y sex back here?

Okay. All right. I'm out.

Listen, man.

Remember the first time

you went out with Lisa?

What did you say?

You're like, "Jay, I

think I met my wife."

This is your moment.

Don't let it pass you by, bro.

If you two are finished

with this horrible rendition

of "The Best Man" meets "The Wood,"

there's a wedding waiting to start.

[SIGHS]

You know what?

- You guys are right.

- Thank you.

[SIGHS]

Let me go out there and get my wife.

- Ooh!

- Yeah.

Boy, you better get it. Get that.

Get it, boy. Let's go.

Already, already know I'm that good ♪

I'm already so high ♪

God damn, boy, you sexy.

All right. Let's get it.

- It's that good ♪

- Roll it up ♪

Roll it up and get high ♪

Get high ♪

I just cop enough to get me by ♪

Get me by ♪

I won't until I hit the sky ♪

Macallan neat, please.

From the Chi like

I believe I can fly ♪

Hey!

You better pump your brakes, player.

Get you a little piece

of this dry-a*s cake,

put it on your stomach.

Yeah, I hate weddings.

Tell me about it. Me too.

Listen, every time I come to one,

I can't help but to think about

my no-good ex-husband, Chauncey.

His raggedy broke a*s.

Ain't never been through nothing

Not now, Lacy.

I'm not in the mood for another

"no-good-a*s Chauncey" moment.

You're right. You're

right. You're right.

Which is why I came over

here to cheer you up.

I got somebody I want you to meet.

- Who?

- LACY: My friend.

My line sister Natalie.

Come here, girl.

Natalie, this is Jason.

Jason, Natalie.

Nice to meet you.

Go, Natalie. Go.

Um, I have to go make

a call real quick, okay?

He gonna be back.

You want this cake?

At least two years ago.

Oh, hey.

Hi, Jason. Uh, how are you?

I'm good. Yourself?

I'm great.

This is Mark, my fiancé.

- Mark, this is Jason.

- Nice to meet you.

Sure. Nice to meet you.

It was good seeing you, Carmen.

Yeah.

Yeah, well, I got to go

make my rounds, you know.

Uh, congrats on your engagement, though.

- Thank you.

- Thank you.

Good to see you.

Beautiful and terrible ♪

Mm, look beautiful, Mrs. Davidson.

Hmm. I like the sound of that.

Baby, can you believe

that we finally did it?

Like, we are here.

Yes, we are here.

Man, you know I had to go on

and throw away that player card.

I thought you been threw that away.

- Yep, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

- Uh-huh.

But, you know, I thought you

were getting cold feet earlier.

You know what? It was that boy Jason.

- Yeah.

- You know, he's a mess.

He was kind of upset that you

invited Carmen to the wedding.

Papi, their issues

aren't our responsibility.

Besides, it's been a

beautiful day, right?

- Mm-hmm.

- Mm-hmm.

Oh, you don't mind if I

read your vibrations, do you?

'Cause they're so good.

- Are you serious right now?

- Such clarity.

She's got such clarity

in her life, such purpose.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

- It's beautiful.

- Honey.

Okay.

[SIGHS]

Baby, I'm just grateful

that you were able

to just accept all of me.

I know it hasn't been easy.

Are you kidding me?

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Baby, it's our differences that

makes me love you even more.

- Mm.

- Mm-hmm.

You always know the right thing to say.

I mean, you know that's

how I snatched you up

- in the first place, right?

- Yeah.

Now let me go on and get

some of them luscious lips.

Mmm.

[LAUGHS]

I know you not even trying to do that.

- Stop.

- Aren't you engaged?

Don't you have a fiancée?

What are you talking about?

Look, mind your business, Lacy.

I got this.

Hm. Let me guess.

You picked a fight with her so

you wouldn't have to bring her

and feel all of the pressure.

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

So when are you gonna find somebody

so you can stay out of

everyone else's business?

You and Chauncey have

been divorced for what,

- over a year now?

- I don't need a man right now.

I'm focused on my acting career, yes.

Oh, so does it bother you

that you're a former

struggling child star

with a failed marriage in her early 30s?

You know, I give a

special rate to friends

who need to come lay

their head on my couch

- and have a

conversation. - Mm-hmm.

In the words of flight attendants,

secure yourself before

you secure others.

You stupid bull head.

I cannot stand you.

Yo, so who's your busted friend

you introduced Jason

to a few minutes ago?

You know you wrong for that,

kicking that man when he's down.

That is my line sister Natalie.

- And she is not busted.

- Busted.

She just is eclectic.

And you guys are too stupid

to see her unique beauty.

Get it, girl.

Well, the fact that you used

those peculiar adjectives

further supports my statement busted.

LACY: Look at Jason.

This is not going to end well for him.

Mnh-mnh. At all.

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

Ladies, don't ever video call

someone without an appointment.

That's just rude.

You're never too far ♪

You're never too, you're never too ♪

You're never too far ♪

Why you over here looking like

somebody done stole your puppy?

You ought to be tossing

back drinks with your boy,

celebrating. Look at them.

I'm definitely tossing back drinks.

Look, sis, I'm happy for Erick.

But this has been one

long and draining day.

I'm just ready for it to be over.

Let me guess. Carmen.

I saw her and that backup

boo a few minutes ago.

I give them three months tops.

I'm just tired of all the questions.

You know I know about that all too well.

Ooh, and here come a million

of them headed in our direction.

I'm out.

Whoa. [LAUGHS]

Isn't this beautiful,

what Erick and Lisa have?

Marriage is a beautiful thing, son.

You know, no matter how much

how much your father burned my nerves,

I wouldn't have traded it for the world.

I wish he was here to

talk some sense into you.

Which is why I can only

think what would have happened

if you had just stuck

it out with Carmen?

Look, Ma, I know you see her

over there with her fiancé.

It's not happening.

Yeah, I see her, but fiancé,

that don't mean husband.

Okay? You know your mama.

I was "engaged" a few times.

You know what? I hear you, Ma.

But I really don't want to talk

about this right now, please.

I always wanted a

granddaughter. You know I do.

I want to dress her up in

those pretty little dresses.

I still got some of Alex's dresses

out there in storage right now.

Come on, now. Besides,

she's a beautiful girl.

Y'all can give me some cute grand babies.

Hi, Patricia.

[CLEARS THROAT] Jackie.

Don't you look stunning.

Jackie, may I ask, what is that

that fragrance you're wearing?

What is that Oh, never mind.

I already know what it is.

You know, some things never change.

Can you two excuse me?

Oh. I am not done.

Oh, you look so great in that.

- So when you getting married?

- I don't f*cking know!

Jay.

No, no, I got him. I got him.

I'll make sure he makes it home okay.

I'm sorry.

Overdosing on the strong ♪

Can't keep it out my mind ♪

Can I take you home? ♪

Can't you see that it's a vibe? ♪

Hey, young tender.

Hey, Marva.

Where you coming from?

Looking all nice for me.

My boy Erick's wedding.

And you did not invite me.

I keep telling you, I can do you right.

Marva. Marva. Okay.

Just like my p*ssy hair.

This is nothing but experience.

Oh, okay, Marva.

- Yes.

- Yes.

- Oh.

- Experience.

Grab my other leg.

I'm good. I'm good. Yeah.

Now, you know, I've been

taking them yoga classes.

Look at this.

I'm all flexible and bendy.

Bendable and flexible.

Mmm!

I can see you right on top of me.

Whip my hair back and forth on it.

- Marva.

- Come on and teabag me.

I got it, Marva.

b*tch ain't never let

you teabag her, huh?

- No, Marva.

- Hmm.

Just do me one favor.

While you dreaming

about me, you stay woke.

Okay, Marva

Well, you have a good night.

All right, now.

You know I'm just a knock away.

Yes, I do know, Marva.

And, Jason, keep drinking

that pineapple juice.

That's what my p*ssy tastes like.

Ah. Okay.

- [EXHALES SHARPLY]

- [DOOR CLOSES]

I gotta move. My neighbors are crazy.

He Well, I know he

asleep. I know he asleep.

Well, that's why we

here to wake his a*s up.

Yo, yo, yo, wake your butt up.

Hey, wake up.

- Come on.

- Move.

Yo, Erick is going to kick your

a*s for cussing at his wife.

Man, I already texted him apologizing.

Look, I don't know what

got into me tonight.

I think it's like the

pressures of seeing Carmen,

the wedding, not being

settled down, you know.

Right, so we're just

gonna ignore the fact

that you drink the whole bar out.

Okay. All right. Listen.

It's so refreshing to see a man

go through what women go through.

No, no, no. Whoa. Whoa. We don't.

Okay, that's just Jason

being a man with sensitivity.

- Okay.

- You get it.

Nah, man, I just got to

pull my sh*t together.

- Yes, you do.

- Yes.

Anyway, I saw Carmen.

And are you gonna try

and make it work out?

I'm sorry, did you not see that

big rock on her finger tonight?

Yes, I did. And so what?

I am a woman, and I know

when a woman is still in love.

You got a chance.

Well, I'm not trying to get Carmen back.

Think I'm gonna find

the right one, you know?

Tired of being the single

one out of the crew with you.

- Ooh.

- LACY: Ohh!

Stuck with me. We

always have a b*mb time.

- So don't do that.

- You know what I mean.

- I'm just saying.

- BRYAN: Hey, look.

Don't even worry about it, okay?

Because we about to be on

the hunt out in these streets.

Your boy got you. Hmm?

A hunt? You're trite.

First off, I'm not

even talking about me.

Okay, I'm talking about my man Jay.

I'm good. Hey, we know I'm good.

LACY: Jason, I got you.

I'm really your friend.

I'm going to introduce you to

one of my friends in my phone.

Like, I got mad friends in my phone.

Nope, nope, nope. Your

credibility is shot.

You brought that busted

chick over to me tonight.

You know better than that.

Natalie is beautiful inside and out.

- She's not ugly.

- [CELLPHONE RINGING]

You don't know. You

have horrible taste. Ha!

- Yeah, horrible taste.

- BRYAN: Wow.

LACY: I saw the last girl.

I saw her shoes, okay?

- Hey, Mom.

- PATRICIA: Boy, have you

- lost your mind?!

- LACY: Let's talk about that.

- See?

- What?

- She's beautiful.

- Is that who just text you?

- Yeah.

- PATRICIA: Answer the phone!

- Yeah.

- Let me show you what's nice.

- Please.

- Okay, boom. Jay.

That's That's a h*.

- What? What about this one?

- That's a h*.

- What?

- That's a h*.

- That's your mom.

- No, that's not.

Those are h*s for Christmas.

Oh, my I just showed

her a picture of her mom.

You don't have a picture of my mother.

Dude. What?

I got a picture of your daddy.

Everything is unfamiliar ♪

I'm living my biggest fear ♪

- Try to buy me stuff.

- Okay, okay.

And I kinda like it 'cause I know ♪

I don't do this every

day, I usually play it safe ♪

Everybody know's I'm paid, oh ♪

But sometimes you gotta get loose ♪

Oh ♪

Baby, you took me

out of my comfort zone ♪

I suppose ♪

I should listen to

you more often, I know ♪

I can be stubborn at times,

but you look me in the eyes ♪

And you say ♪

You gotta, you gotta

work hard, play harder ♪

You gotta, you gotta

work hard, play harder ♪

You gotta, you gotta

work hard, play harder ♪

You gotta, you gotta

work hard, play harder ♪

You got me doing things that

I never thought I'd ever do ♪

Oh ♪

Everybody knows I don't go

out unless it's me and you ♪

Me and you ♪

And I kinda like it 'cause I know ♪

I don't do this every ♪