01x04 - Shitty City

[bunniefuu]

This programme contains scenes
of a sexual nature.

Did you know that Santa Claus
had a white coat once?

Did you know that Santa Claus
had a white coat once?

No, I didn't.

Yeah.

He was shining in the sky

He was shining in the sky

like the brightest star
with the longest tail.

He was riding his noblest moose

He was riding his noblest moose

with a fur like snow
and a heart of gold.

They were friends.
They were brothers.

They were friends.
They were brothers.

But one day
came the biggest snowstorm

since the beginning of time.

It was so, so cold

that the lakes froze to the bottom

and the air cracked.

and the air cracked.

Santa Claus and his faithful
friend were buried

in the deep snow of Rovaniemi...

..and they looked death
right in the eyes.

Santa's red beard turned to ice...

Santa's red beard turned to ice...

..and his heart froze.

"If we warm each other,"
said the moose...

"If we warm each other,"
said the moose...

.."then we'll live" .

But Santa grabbed an icicle...

But Santa grabbed an icicle...

and stabbed the moose.

Santa opened the soft belly
of his faithful friend

and buried himself inside it,

and buried himself inside it,

soaking his white coat
in warm red blood.

Santa slept between the heart and
stomach of his faithful friend...

..and so he survived the cold
and the storm.

..and so he survived the cold
and the storm.

My mom always told me this story
for Christmas.

My mom always told me this story
for Christmas.

Funny, isn't it?

ON CAR STEREO:
# PAIVI HIRVONEN: Nouskaa Neidot

Lua, come here!

Lua, come here!

Mmm!

Mm!

Yep.

Yep.

OK.

Fancy a beer, guys?

Yeah, sure.

Yeah, sure.

Where shall I put the boots? Just
throw everything in this corner.

Welcome!

This is my special lamp.
Otherwise I go crazy up here.

This is my special lamp.
Otherwise I go crazy up here.

You're a hunter?
Ah. My ex-husband was.

He left me and Tuuli here
with a snail farm.

He left me and Tuuli here
with a snail farm.

Oh, God, he was a...
You know, he was a jerk.

He really thought that he could
make money with snails.

But can you imagine?
Snails, escargot, in Finland?

But can you imagine?
Snails, escargot, in Finland?

This one is a beauty.

You like it?
Yeah.

You like it?
Yeah.

You ever go hunting?

Occasionally, yes.

Have you ever tried tundra rabbit?
Not yet.

Come here.

Come here.

Which one of you
is Tuuli's boyfriend?

Come on! I'm just curious.

Come on! I'm just curious.

I need to make up the rooms.
Well, I'm sleeping in my room...

Mm-hm. ..of course.
And the boys can stay on the sofas.

Mm-hm. ..of course.
And the boys can stay on the sofas.

Ah, so why did you pick
wintertime to come up here?

Because Tuuli wanted to show us
where she's from.

Because Tuuli wanted to show us
where she's from.

Yeah, and it's the most wonderful
time of the year, isn't it?

And she finally
passed her exams. Yeah.

Ah, OK.

Ah, OK.

I would like to propose a toast.
For Tuuli.

I'm so proud of you.

Well, yeah, I am working for an NGO.

We are building up
energy infrastructure

We are building up
energy infrastructure

in Middle East and West Africa.

I spent most of the last
year in Cote d'Ivoire.

So you're building them?
With your own hands?

So you're building them?
With your own hands?

No, well, I'm...
more like evaluating.

You see, don't tell me stories.

And you must be the guy
from New York.

And you must be the guy
from New York.

Yes. I work in a literary agency
in Manhattan.

And what exactly
are you doing there?

Oh, I try to find new manuscripts.

Oh, I try to find new manuscripts.

I read them
and I write reports about them

for European publishers -

like Otava in Finland.
OK.

And what is your reason
for doing that?

Well, after Colombia I worked
in Hamburg in a publishing house...

..and, yeah, then I got
this offer, so I take the chance.

..and, yeah, then I got
this offer, so I take the chance.

And that is your reason?

I...
Really?

I like to read, I like books

I like to read, I like books

and I wanted to somehow...

I gotta go.

Oh, yeah, well, me too.

Arhh! Ohh!

Ohh!
Arhh!

Ohh!
Arhh!

Ohh! Ohh!
Ohh!

Ohh! Oh!

Arhh!

Arhh!

Arhh! Ohh!

Whoa.

h*-h*-h*!
Let's go, ladies! Next round.

h*-h*-h*!
Let's go, ladies! Next round.

Whoo.

Mm.

Mm.

Ah...

Hm?

Here I come!

Here I come!

Oh, welcome back!

Mm.

Scheisse.

Scheisse.

What's happening?

You still love her.

You still love her.

Exactly that's the point.
A never-f*cking-ending story.

It just hurts.

# REIJO TAIPALE: Satumaa

Wait.

We listened to that song.

We listened to that song.

On our way to Paradiso.

No, no, wait. Santa Marta.
Yeah, when we picked you up.

No, no, wait. Santa Marta.
Yeah, when we picked you up.

Yeah.

I miss it.

I miss it.

What? Paradiso or us?

Paradiso, of course. Why should I
have missed you guys? I don't know.

Paradiso, of course. Why should I
have missed you guys? I don't know.

Maybe the deep
conversations with Svensson.

Yeah, or his light babble?

Yeah, or his light babble?

Everything. I've missed everything,
seriously.

It was good there...with you.

It was good there...with you.

My mom wants me to move back here.

My mom wants me to move back here.

And will you? Move back?

I don't know.

Maybe.

First, I have to find a job and make
some money and work on my PhD.

First, I have to find a job and make
some money and work on my PhD.

And then...
Why?

There's nothing here.

There's nothing here.

There is everything you need.
Why don't you come to New York?

Why should I come to New York?

Because it's the best city
in the world.

Yeah.
Because I'm there.

Y-yeah...

Yeah, you could stay with me.

I...

I...

What about me?

Can I also stay with you?

Can I also stay with you?

Yeah, we could...
We all could be together again.

That would be nice.

That would be nice.

Ja.

SAMI!

SAMI!

SAMI!

SAMI!

SAMI!

Sami!

Sami!

SAMI!

Sami!

SAMI!

OK.

OK.

# JS BACH: Sinfonia

Hi!

Merry Christmas, Tuulita.

Aiti!

Aiti!

Is Kaisa not back yet?

What? No. Didn't she go hunting?

What? No. Didn't she go hunting?

Yes, she wanted to sh**t
polar rabbits for lunch.

We'll take these and look for her.

This is Kimmo, he knows her spots.

Come, sit behind me and hold tight.

Come, sit behind me and hold tight.

Let's go. It's getting dark.

I give a sign when I find her.

OK, we'll go left.
OK.

SAMULI!

f*ck it, Tuuli.

Aiti!

Aiti!

Kaisa!

Look!

Aiti.

Aiti.

Aiti!

Aiti!

Tuuli.

Tuuli.

Tuuli.

Tuuli. Ssh, ssh, ssh.

Tuuli.
Ssh, ssh, ssh.

# PELLE MILJOONA:
Moottoritie On Kuuma

They found him. He's fine.

Samuli is safe.

Oh, my God.

Hey.

Hey.

WOMAN ON TV:

That isn't right.

What's wrong?

I can't toast with beer.
It's New Year's Eve.

We have to have samppanja.

You've got the keys?
No.

Vivi has one, I think, but...

But there should be...

But there should be...

Yes.

Wait here.

Oh, f*ck, it's already frozen! Yeah,
you drink too slow for Finland.

Oh, f*ck, it's already frozen! Yeah,
you drink too slow for Finland.

Happy new year.
Happy new year.

Well, happy new year, you two.

Well, happy new year, you two.

You know what?
What?

You know what?
What?

I'm not alone. I have you two.

We are three.

We are three.

Yeah.

I'm coming to New York.

And you are coming too, you hear me?

Yes.

Yes.

Sure, I'm in.

He said yes.
Yeah, f*ck it, I'm in.

Um, what does that mean?

Um...

Shitty City.

Shitty City.

Paska Kaupunki means Shitty City.

# ELAKELAISET: Humppa-Aatami

# Humppa!

# Humppa!

# Humppa!

# Humppa!

Hey.
Kippis.

# Humppa!

# Humppa!

# Humppa!

# Humppa!

# Humppa!

# Humppa!

# Humppa!

# Humppa!

Humppa!

Hm?

OK.

OK.

# Kuu se kullalle kumotti, oijoonoo

# Kuu se kullalle kumotti, oijoonoo

# Hopialle paiva hohti, oijoonoo

# Kuu se kullalle kumotti, oijoonoo

# Kuu se kullalle kumotti, oijoonoo

# Hopialle paiva hohti, oijoonoo

# Puut kaikki punalle paistoi,
oijoonoo

# Salot siintivat sinelle, oijoonoo

# Tahdet ylla kuiskutteli, oijoonoo

# Tahdet ylla kuiskutteli, oijoonoo

# Tuulen tahtiin tanssahteli,
oijoonoo

# Nousi kuuta katsomahan, oijoonoo

# Nousi kuuta katsomahan, oijoonoo

# Aidan paalle istumahan, oijoonoo

# Neito nuori, tuulen tekema,
oijoonoo

# Kaunis impi, ilman itkema,
oijoonoo

# Kaunis impi, ilman itkema,
oijoonoo

# Kuu se kullalle kumotti,
-lalle kumotti

# Hopialle paiva hohti,
ja paiva hohti

# Hopialle paiva hohti,
ja paiva hohti

# Kuu se kullalle kumotti,
-lalle kumotti

# Hopialle paiva hohti

# Laksi koista kulkomahan, oijoonoo

# Laksi koista kulkomahan, oijoonoo

# Tieta pitkin tarpomahan, oijoonoo

# Kulki Kuutar suojanansa, oijoonoo

# Kulki Kuutar suojanansa, oijoonoo

# Ilman impi onnenansa, oijoonoo #

Hm?