Hey!
You are trespassing the Old Mike's property!
Get out !
Do you hear me?!
Dont come any closer!
I was just a soldier
I was just sent there!
f*ck you! You f*cking Chinese!!
No !
Please!
Dont you take your call officer?
You know, ma'am...
I'm looking at two very good reasons
not to take this call right now.
Holy f*cking sh*t!
Here you go... be careful next time!
Officer Hopkins! I'm Taking a code 191 on the 102 over!
If you think you're going to f*ck Uncle Hopkins like that,
you're barking up the wrong tree, Grandpa.
Dont sh**t brothers
Holy f*cking sh*t!
God Damn
What would a redskin have to do
with Vietcong on American soil...
You'd think they'd both have a grudge against Uncle Sam...
sh*t!
This time the chief won't believe his....
COJONES!!!!! MI COJONES HOPKINS!!!
And on top of that you are f*cking with me!
You think I'm just another
one of those bean eaters?
Are you're f*cking loco in your head Hopkins?
I'm sick and tired of your bullshit,
sick and tired of your stories about f*cking VIETNAM!
For God's sake, chief, it's fore real!
I've got the exact coordinates,
we have to get the national guard,
throw napalm on those b*stards
before they have time to get organized !
BADGE AND g*n PENDEJO !!
I lost this f*cking w*r once,
But now this is my home,
AND I'M NOT GETTING f*cked OVER!!!
Do you know what gas jockeys and porn stars
have in common?
They both get paid
to fill you up!
Hopkins !!
You son of a b*tch!
Holy f*ck, did the pigs change
their uniforms?
Hey, I'm taking some time off!
To see my old pal!
Some Time Off, I know what you mean...
Forget it, they are lining up around the block
On the other hand... you seem a bit lonely in this shag pad
You know I've never had p*ssy problems
and I never will
I missed you Hopkins!
What brings you here? Can I get you a beer?
We have to talk John...
I'm not really on vacation.
I've been laid off... The chief won't believe my story.
Oh sh*t...
Don't worry, you've come to the right place!
There's always a job here for you!
No, it's not that John,
I don't need a job.
I just...
I don't know how to say this.
It's Charlie John, The VC,
they've returned.
I've seen them!
f*ck Hopkins, can you hear yourself?
Don't start that again!
THAT'S for real John,
They've weapons caches,
They're up to something big!
Do you have any proof of what you're saying,
witnesses, photographs?
Can't you hear yourself spouting bullshit?
You've got to believe me, John!
I've crossed half the country hoping you'd believe me,
they all think I'm nuts.
But they don't know what it is!
You and I...
We've been through this sh*t...
and we've got to stop it now! Here, at home!
On the american soil Goddamnit!
Listen, Hopkins, it means a lot that you came to me,
for real!
But you're sick,
you have to understand that...
It's over!
I know we saw awful stuff back then in the sh*t
but we're back home now. Got it?
God damn, John!
Nobody believed me in New York in '78.
And today, you don't believe me either?
I cant believe it,
We did 3 tours together.
its something, you know me,
I'm not crazy!
Listen Hopkins I'm gonna give it to you straight...
I'm done with all that!
My daughter just graduated
in the f*cking Marines!
OKAY? I don't know if I should be
proud of her or if I should cry!
I've been fixing birds here for 4 years
to pay for her school
and now she's doing the same bullshit
we did!
It's over for me Hopkins, do you hear me? IT'S OVER!
This f*cking w*r was for nothing, do you hear me?
NOTHING!!!
Anderson, Johnson, Taylor, Mc Quay, Ruiz,
and that f*cking Snow White!
They all died for nothing,
you hear me? FOR NOTHING!!!
Take it back!
You can't talk about brothers like that !!!
This w*r had a meaning !
They died for freedom, it's not all for nothing John !!!
Rednecks like us are manipulated!!!
The Beans, the Brothers, The gooks didn't need us in their sh*t!
they didn't need us to get involved.
Take it back John!! Take it back!
Put the g*n down pal, don't be stupid!
You've got better things to do than blow up your face off!
I'll do it John ! If you don't take it back,
I'LL DO IT !!
Please don't be stupid Hopkins!
Moments ago, a brutal t*rror1st attack
occured at the Parris Island military academy,
during the graduation ceremony of the
US Marine Corps cadets.
Hundreds of servicemen and civilians were poisoned
by a toxic gas device made from pesticide,
more specifically called,
Agent Orange
Jesus Christ John! Isnt it today Jenny was
supposed to graduate from Parris Island?!
Hello, this is Connie Island military hospital,
may I speak to Major Hunter please?
Hello?
Give me that!
Hello? Yes, this is Major Hunter.
What's the matter? Is my daughter all right?
Your daughter has just been
put into a deep coma,
she has been taken to intensive care,
we cant give you any prognosis,
dont try to visit, the hospital has been
quarantined, and transports are saturated
What the hell is going on??
I'll be right there, I want to see my daughter!
We're gonna need some backup.
Greetings, John!
I came with an old pal!
I hope you don't mind?
Hopkins, this sh*t is for you!
Shotguns, 9mm, 5.56 as*ault r*fles,
Here are the 7.62 as*ault r*fles
and the 40mm grenade launchers.
Holy sh*t guys! Christmas came early!
You've also got Semtex and C-4.
I hope you didnt forget bud course!
Hell no, dont worry John
Kowalsky this is your stuff!
M60, PKM, 66mm rocket launcher
Its only the 3 of us, but youll be our warship understood?!
Copy that Major!
Hey guys! Guess who I am??
Kowalsky stucked into Mama Sans fat a*s!
And here, you have my little friend...
Ammos are this way. Grab what you need guys,
but grab f*cking enough, because this time...
WE ARE GOING THERE TO WIN!
Hey Kowalsky, want a picture?
Hey Kowalsky!
You know what a pizza and a robot
have in common?
No?
They're both automaton!
Tomato!
Get it?
Zero humor, zero humor.
Hey look guys I can see my house!!
Are you sure it's not a septic tank?
America guys,
The land of the free, home of the braves!!
Hey Kowalsky!?
I was wondering...
Since the Commies refurbished you,
down there, what's left?
Hypersophisticated combat chassis
or Endoskeleton!
Covered with human biological tissue,
skin, muscles, tendons, nerves, blood, the whole nine yards.
Detachable and self-guided,
capable of infiltrating
into enemy bases
and k*ll its targets from the outside as well as from WITHIN!
Guys! Arrival at the LZ in 5!
You know what you have to do, you know the drill!
Let's find some cover in case
those b*stards are waiting for us
and we get the f*ck out of there!
One for all!?
AND ALL IN MAMASAN!!!!
Hey Hopkins, what the hell?
I don't get it, the old fart was just standing there!
And they came out of nowhere like rats!
And he did nothing else?
Nothing!!
He just started whistling, that's all!
Then whistle! You moron!
I got no whistle!
With your hands, god damn it!
God, what have I gotten myself into now?
Is that you, John Wayne? Or is it me?
God damn Hopkins! the f*ck told you to sh**t that guy?
Holy sh*t Hopkins, you said 3 f*cking gooks!
Not a g*dd*mn Russian army battalion!
RPG!!!
Reloading!!
Plan B!
Americans! This is a special military operation
of the great Soviet Union
I'll give you 5 seconds to surrender!
Well, how's that for proof?!
Disgusting!
Major, these infantrymen don't have the typical Southeast Asian face at all!
Guys, we've just taken out a whole platoon of Spetsnaz,
the Soviet army's special forces.
Hopkins,
I think you didn't just kick the anthill!
Nope!
I think we've just witnessed the start of World w*r 3, guys!
Russkies on the American soil, f*cking sh*t!
Major, these are the same tunnel systems used by the Vietcong on the outskirts of Saigon!
Wop!! Express rat removal!!
g*dd*mn!
Hopkins! I swear I will...
Ok I get it, Ill go first!
You gonna finish that anytime today?
Those b*stards really worked hard as hell! Look at that, holy sh*t! Now that's a fancy tunnel!
Major, shall I plant the expl*sives?
No! Even if we destroyed this cache, there must be
hundreds more just like it!
The only solution is to take the tunnel and follow it up!
Welcome to Pekin Express, fasten your seatbelts
and get ready to go!
And here we go!
I'm waiting for your proposals gentlemen,
if each of you want a piece of America,
what will be your contribution to the cause?
Let's start with you, General.
Si, si Camarade.
Si quiero...
Ah!
in English,
After all, we are
an international coalition!
Of course, Comrade
The Free Republic of Val Verde
will lend its support to the cause
by deploying 2 infantry divisions
and 3 armored divisions to Florida.
Our men have already infiltrated the best taco restaurants.
In exchange, we'd like to annex Miami
to ensure a constant link with our nationals
and build a great bridge to Val Verde!
Of course, of course, General Alcazar
The friends of the revolution are our friends!
Mister Ben Kalish !
What do the Eastern armies have to offer the cause?
I promise you... Black Gold !
The Oil!
An infinite amount of oil!
You'll be able to drive, sail, fly
and crash on the American sheitans!
And inch Allah
if it works, I only want one thing.
I want all the oil from the filthy Texas, USA!
And if Allah, the one and only, wills it,
That b*tch Pamela Anderson in a Bikini!!!!
In my harem in Las vegas!
ENOUGH!
What about our Soviet friends?
In the name of the great Soviet Union,
we will provide the cause with 3 divisions of the best
men in the Red Army,
our glorious Spetnatz!
And Comrades...
Allow me to introduce to you the best of us
known in the Western world as the white wolf of Siberia,
the survivor of Stalingrad,
the Bill Gates of St. Petersburg,
the sickle and the hammer!
May I introduce...
Vasil... Zaitsev
Thanks to my supercomputer with a power of 100 megahertz
I plan to crash the Americans' new project.
The Internet.
And Comrades! Rest assured that without the Internet,
the Wall Street stock market will collapse like a house of cards!
but what about our American allies?
Grand Wizard, if I'm not mistaken?
Well well well!
Comrade General,
of course the clan will provide its support to the cause.
We're planning to set wooden crosses on fire
in 3 different parts of the united states
Across Iowa,
Mississippi.
And Anchorage!
That's in... It's in Alaska.
I... Uh...
Ah, and we're planning, also, to poison
multiple fried chicken restaurants!
In the...
suburb of... Baton Rouge...
Comrade General!
Operation Richard Nixon, Great success!
Everything went according to plan and the Americans are
panicked and disorganized!
Perfect, perfect!
Start operation Ronald Reagan right away!
Yes Comrade General!
Oh, f*ck guys is it me or have we been
in this f*cking elevator for 3 days?
52 hours to be precise, and boy its f*cking hot in here!
Kowalsky any idea where we are?
According to my geolocator, we're approaching
the earth's core!
Core what??
God dang I've always wanted to see a volcano!
Hey! Reminds me of an old movie...
Normally, we should be running into dinosaurs soon!
You never stop talking crap Hopkins.
What the hell is your problem??
Peter Pan syndrome!
My shrink says I've got the mind of a 5-year-old.
But in the dream body of a mature man!
Watch out, guys, we're getting close to the core,
this magma peaks at 3000 degrees Celsius.
Hey guys, 100 bucks says a grenade
in a volcano doesn't explode!
Damn it Hopkins, you're doing it again I'LL k*ll YOU!
What?! You had to be sure, for science!
Major, it's about to get tighter!
My sonar indicates that we're getting closer to the surface.
How much tighter?
f*ck it's tighter than mama san's as*h*le in here!
A human wouldn't survive this opening Major.
How far are we, Kowalsky?
Another mile and we're out Major!
Hopkins! All clear on our 6?
Hopkins !
Come see the west coast, we're going surfing, it'll be fun!
KISS MY a*s!
g*dd*mn, where the hell did we end up?
I don't know Major
Panama, Costa Rica, Val Verde...
Anyway a tropical biome,
Have you found the corporal?
No! There's a whole bunch of tunnels
down there, it's like an anthill!
We'll wait for him here.
Secure the perimeter!
Understood, Major!
God damn Hopkins, what the f*ck are
you f*cking doing again?
As mom used to say,
Once you go black,
you never go back!
No thanks!
Goddang f*cking tunnels!
Wooh f*ck!!
My Boy you're so skinny you need to
eat a little more!
It's no f*cking skeleton thats going to scare Hopkins!
What the hell...
Don't move...
Don't come any closer, you plucked scum !!!
Don't come any closer!
Crap!
Run!!
Run awayyyy!!
Major! The Corporal had a poultry attached
to his reproductive organs!
It's not a chicken Kowalsky, RUN!!!
Let it go, you b*stard!
g*dd*mn Hopkins, I thought you'd
solved your crabs problem!
Ah f*ck it's eating me up
more than Mama San !!!!
Run...
One for all?
And all on Mama San!
f*cking jungle sh*t!
Thank God, they're still here!
There must be a family jewels God!
f*ck guys, I don't know you...
But Im getting way
too old for this sh*t!
Major, my system is flooded,
I can't locate us anymore,
I've completely lost our position, Major.
Damn it!
Hey Guys!?
Look,
logically we've left from here,
it's really f*cked up.
We must be in Louisiana, Florida max!
Major, my last readings indicated much further afield,
we've crossed the earth core.
Hey Guys!?
Shut up Hopkins!
Hey Guys!?
I think I know where we've landed!
Welcome back
to f*cking VIETNAM!!!
Kowalsky, take the high ground and
find us a vantage point.
Understood Major.
Wait for me guys, I gotta go make the anaconda cry!
f*cking plucked chicken !!
I'm gonna send you straight to KFC !!!
Take it easy Hopkins, you wouldnt k*ll a baby!
Where I come from, babies don't try to eat your f*cking ba*ls!
Since you were the first one
he saw when he hatched,
he must think you're his mother!
You think so?
sh*t man,
I've always believed I was ready to start a family!
You've got to see this, Major!
Roger!
Wait
Look
You're not mean!
You were just hungry!
If you like Uncle Hopkins' Jerky,
then you're a real American!
And in homage to the King,
I'll call you ELVIS!
Take a look Major!
m*therf*ckers,
They are enslaving dinosaurs to grow their f*cking rice!
These peons must have optimized grain cultivation
with the help of these wild beasts.
They certainly need to feed several infantry divisions.
Hey guys, I made a new friend!
Let me introduce you...
SHUT UP HOPKINS!
A column is moving up the rice field with equipment,
and they've got American POWs!
Let me see!?
Jesus Christ, John! They brought Marines from Parris Island!
Jenny's unit!
m*therf*ckers!
There!
There! Its her!
She's the one I saw buying weapons from
the old fart in the desert!
You're sure about this?
Aaaah, I'm just as sure it was Mama San who gave me Crabs!
Affirmative, John!
In that case, I think we've just found our guide.
Hopkins! What are these complaints
from from my haversack?
Shh! Sleep Elvis! Daddy said sleep!
g*dd*mn it, what the hell, Hopkins?
You took a dinosaur?!
You couldn't have warned us??
But I tried to tell you, but you told me to shut u----
SHUT UP HOPKINS!
Jesus Christ John,
they will execute him, we've got to do something!!!
No !! The target could run away!
Please!
We've been walking for days without drinking.
Please!
Leave him to the flying demons.
Ohhh Well it's fine, he's doing well!
A b*llet in each knee!
It wasn't the same when I was a prisoner back then!
We are going to soak your wounds in salt water
We are---
Hell no, We didn't have that back then, nope...
I still prefer coarse salt!
Major, perhaps we should mount these flying beasts
and get to our destination more quickly?
Shut up! They're heading for our position.
Get out your blades, we'll set up an ambush,
catch them silently and capture Mama San alive.
Got it?
You k*lled Bence you b*tch!
You die American Dog!!!
The princess is awake!
I will k*ll you all, American dogs!
Tell us who's behind all this,
take me to your commander and I'll set you free.
NEVER! I will never betray the cause!
Leave my country!
I don't think you understand me love,
You're going to lead us to your base of operations, otherwise the cause, is over for you.
I prefer to die than be enslaved by Americans!
You've already k*lled my whole family.
You can't do worse to me !
Dying would be a gift!
Well then!
He's not doing it!
I don't believe it one sec!
When it comes to his daughter,
I won't underestimate the Major!
50 bucks says he does!
I'm in!
Your organization went after the
wrong Green Berets daughter,
we'll k*ll them all,
with or without your help.
Give my regards to Mao Tse Tung!
STOP !!
Who is this gnome?
It's not a gnome, but a child Hopkins!
Get him Hopkins!
With pleasure chief!
No need to bother Americans,
I'll take you to our commander.
If you promise not to hurt my sister.
No, leave me Chen! Go away!
We cannot trust them
Okay, kid!
Drop it and maybe we'll talk about it!
You follow me! My boat is a day's walk!
if we leave right away, we'll be there before dark
and have shelter from carnivores.
Carnivores?
Which carnivores?
Hey, kid! Wait up! Which carnivores??
Hopkins, you forgot your creature.
f*cking Vietnam!
Hey, kid, hey, what's your name?
Chen, but you can call me Spring Roll,
Americans call me that, Spring Roll!
Spring Roll, Ok !
Tell me, Spring Roll, what should we
be feeding these critters with?
This is dirty lizard! We will eat it tonight!
Are you crazy? We're not going to eat Elvis!
I just want to know what is common to feed them with?!
You beaucoup dinky dau G.I. Joe!
Boom Boom too close your head!
Is this kid f*cking nuts?
I simply want to know what I should
give those critters to eat!
What are those Americans doing here!?
It could compromise operation Ronald Reagan!!
I want them dead before dawn!!
Professor Mller!! Herr Frer!!
Launch operation Abraham Lincoln!!
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!
Schnell! Launch the operation Abraham Lincoln!
Tell me kid, where did all the people go?
You, help us Americans!
Help us find our mother !
And me, bring you to Uncle!
Shut up ! We cannot trust the Americans
Have your parents been taken prisoner?
Everyone gone GI, many moons ago,
those who didnt want to fight,
taken away by Uncle,
never seen again
My mother too
My father, he...
he died in the w*r against the Americans
Listen, I promise we'll do everything we can for your mother.
Thanks for your help.
Hey Come here!
Hey, have you ever tasted this?
You want one?
So, what should we feed this little critter with?
Look, we've got nothing against you,
we're no longer at w*r.
What happened here, it's happening in my country.
You k*lled my family,
dirty American dogs !
I hate you, I hate George Bush
I hate your freedom,
your big trucks!
and your well mown loawns!
I hate your hamburgers,
your skyscrapers, the lessons you
give to the rest of world
I hate America and capitalism!
You know when I came here,
it was to help your people,
not to k*ll them.
And believe me, I've helped as many as I could.
Who knows?
Maybe it all has to do with that Uncle
you're always talking about.
Maybe your parents are over there.
No way, Uncle has got nothing to
do with this!
He is here for our people,
to protect our people,
Uncle takes good care of us!
Here, eat this.
Sorry !
I call him Elvis, that suits him, doesn't it?
This is deinonychus
him, is too small
dont have mom to feed him
You must chew well
chew very well
and then
Disgusting!
Looks like my grandmother with her poodle
You ask me, me show you !
Oh yeah yeah! Let me try!
Ah God damnit!!!
Spring Roll help me!!!
That creep did it again!!!
Lizard like american sausage !!
CONTAAAAAAAACT !!!
Personnel treated Major.
Nice work Kowalsky
Hopkins, go check bodycount!
Always the same doing the dirty work!
Hey guys?
Is that normal?!
Major, we've got a problem!
I think we're facing
f*cking g*dd*mn ZOMBIE-CONGS!!!
Goddamnit all, FIRE AT WILL!!!
sh*t, they're never dead! Reload!
Haven't you ever seen a movie?
sh**t them in the head Goddamnit!!!
At this rate we won't make it Major!
They're everywhere!
Hold your position, I'll cover the right flank!
Understood Major!
Ammunition depleted!
sh*t, I'm out!
John, we're out of a*mo, what do we do?
Be creative or we'll all be in the dinner!
How's that for creative?
Yeaaaaaah it's like the 4th of July !!
Dammit Hopkins, you could have warned us
about all that C4!
Ooooh c'mon!
Now we have to warn you every time we place C4!
Major! Hopkins' counterattack seems to have been effective!
There's no further movement Major!
Say hello to uncle Hopkins...
Now that
That's what I call a shitload of zombies!
Guys, pack it up, we're out of here!
Its me !
Its Lan !
Stop, its me!
Its me Lan! Stop!
Please! Stop!
Lan, Chen, I'm sorry...
But it wasn't your mother...
Mom would not want become like those demons.
Mom, up there! With Pa!
She, proud of us!
You, follow me!
Me lead you to boat.
Come on both of you, let's go, let's hurry up!
Hold your position as long as you can!
Let's meet up at the kid's boat!
And no bullshit!
It's life and death, old pal!
Hopkins, these ghouls have us outnumbered!
Operate retreat, and I'll provide the necessary cover!
Oh No! I'll hold 'em off myself!
I'll get the medals!
Beat it Kowalsky, that's an order!!!
I have the rank of Staff Sergeant, which makes me your commanding officer!
I'm just a processor and a memory card
in Sergeant Kowalsky's envelope,
Get out of here, Hopkins, that's an order!
Kowalsky, Noooo!
Respect the chain of command, Corporal!
I'll be back for you, old pal!
I promise!
Semper Fidelis, Hopkins!
Semper Fi!
And now we're going to have a little party!
Yes a nice little party!
Just you and me!!
Die, you Communist scum!!!
Yeah, come on!!!
g*dd*mn leftist swingers!!!
Get your dirty paws off me you scum!!!
Don't touch me!!
Don't touch me you brain-dead socialists!!!
Kowalsky nooo!!
You f*cking idiot!!
Why did you do that??
Isnt it beautiful
They, are last of their species
They were exterminated when Americans dropped
agent Orange on Vietnams forests
f*cking w*r...
You know kid, Im really sorry that I took part in all this...
You dont be sorry !
You followed Uncle Sams orders !
Vietcongs followed Uncle h* orders !
We, pawns on very big chessboard!
You are one hell of a kid you know!
Those two make quite a pair, don't you think?
Yes!
Thank you John, for saving my life.
and have allowed my mother to rest in peace.
You have mother John ?
Yes
She was named Atsuko, she was japanese
After the Korean w*r when my dad died, she raised me alone
And she taught me martial arts.
Today they rest in peace together, up there.
Here
You saved my life
Its tradition to offer you something
Even if your god isnt the same
Bouddha will watch over you !
Thank you
Getting to meet you and Chen,
Really made me realize that I wanted
to leave it all behind
Its a page of my life turning
w*r...
w*r will never change...
Thank you John
for opening my eyes
You, Hopkins, Kowalsky
are the first Americans I have spoken to
We were told you were monsters
That you would eat our children and r*pe our sisters
But I had never met an American
And I think
I think now
I want to live my own life
With my own opinion
I dont want to take orders from anyone anymore
The uncle betrayed us !
He betrayed us all!
Who is this Uncle you are always talking about ?
John !
They did it !
Spring Roll was able to get CNN
They are in the United States!
At Home!!
They are on the American soil John !
Boby Pope, live with Hardcore!
On the scene and in your face!
reporting live from the streets of New York,
where scenes worthy of World w*r 3 are
unfolding right now before our very eyes !
I'm in the middle of the sh**ting, the screams,
the explosions and the suffering of the wounded!
The enemy is in our streets! The United States are under attack!
Americans, if you can hear me, we are at w*r!
Barricade yourselves! Arm yourselves!
Fight for your friends, your family or your city!
This time nobody will do it for you!
Us, have arrived G.I. !
Us, have arrived at Uncle !
Holy f*cking sh*t...
And how do we get into this place ?
It must be guarded
They must have already spotted us
I knew it! we should have expected this!
A frontal attack without Kowalsky is suicide
Lan, how do we get inside?
I have an idea
But you gonna have to trust me
Comrade commander Nguyen Thi Lan, let us pass !
Im bringing an American prisoner to the Uncle
My apologies Commander!
Who are you American ?
What are you doing here ?
Who are you ?
Lower your eyes! American dog!!
Get up, capitalist demon!
Komandir !
You forgot the American ba*ls!
Get in the tunnel, Hopkins!
Look after the kid, Hopkins!
Set up campsite, Hopkins!
Damn it! I'm the one who should be having fun!
After all, this was all my idea, wasn't it?
What do you think, Elvis?
You can't have a real conversation around here...
Im the one that should have been having fun!
You didn't pull any punches!
Sorry John, but it was necessary!
f*cking b*stards
They are experimenting on dinosaurs, but why?
Its part of the culture here to believe,
that the blood flowing in the veins of the giant
lizards can give strenght, and eternal life.
k*ll me
k*ll me
Leave us Lan
But John?
Tell my family...
And my mother...
You can count on me, Marine...
Semper...
Fi...
Commander Nguyen Lan, Major John Hunter
We know that you're here
Surrender immediately and no harm will come to you.
John?
Yes, I'm here.
Do not forget me...
No Lan youll live!
Save... America
Save... Vietnam
Save... Freedom...
If you want something done right, do it yourself!
Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me?
M-I-C-K-E-Y M-O-U-S-E.
Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse!
Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse!
Forever let us...
g*dd*mn, is this a slumber party or something?
Let me out of here!
LET ME OUT OF HERE!!
I told you I'm a tourist!
And I suppose that breakfast is not included?
Concentrate, Hopkins.
Con-cen-trate.
Well! It's all over!
At last, the American princess joins us!
We were beginning to wonder if you needed a kiss
to wake you up.
Who are you?
And where am I?
You've probably already heard of me...
When you were busy, trying to colonize my country!
You and your kind used to call me...
Uncle H!
Bad enough you were one ugly m*therf*cker,
but now you look more like a Peking duck!
H Chi Minh is dead m*therf*cker!!! Untie me!
American humor...
As deplorable as ever...
But I'm alive and well, as you can probably tell...
Mr Hunter...
How do you know my name as*h*le?
But come on Major,
everybody knows the name of the best warrior in the world,
Uncle Sam's perfect little soldier!
You see, Doctor Muller over here,
had for a brother an old friend... and late... ally,
the Colonel Kinsky!
A close friend of your daughter's before she m*rder*d him,
Jenny, am I right?
Mention my daughter's name again,
you Communist mummy b*stard,
and I swear I'll unscrew your head
and sh*t down your neck!
Oh... No Mr Hunter,
because thanks to this machine invented by Dr Muller,
Im going to convert you to the
communist doctrine in no time!
And the funniest part of all,
is that it's fueled by the poison America has been spreading
on our land for decades,
Agent Orange!
How ironic!
In a few minutes, you'll forget all about your precious green bills
Are you American?
Corporal Leeroy Hopkins
the American dream in person
Holy sh*t!
So let me tell you one thing
What they did to us
They'll do it to you too
If I were you, I'd k*ll myself right now
Holy sh*t guys, you are really ugly as hell
That's sweet of you to say, but no thanks.
f*cking dinosaurs,
no wonder the chickens replaced you
Listen to me you f*cking redneck!
Me and my boys have been here since 1968, all right?!
We've been rotting here for 22 years
You've no idea what we've been through,
what they did to us
Were whats left of our company, okay!?
The MIAs of A Shau Valley... Rings a bell?
A Shau?
Are you the Green Berets of D Company?
We've lost the berets...
but at least we're still green! Right, guys?
Listen guys, I didn't come alone,
I came with Major John Hunter,
we're gonna get you guys out of here!
Hunter...
Hunter the smoker?
Yeah
g*dd*mn guys ! This jerk, he came with
Major Hunter the smoker !!!
The Bolshevik k*ller!!!
We're f*cking saved!
Oh Elvis, your daddy really missed you, you know that?
Tell me sweetie, don't you have an
idea how to get us out of here?
Go Elvis, go! Go, go, go!
Elvis, what do you want to do with that?
Over there!
The big guy
There!
Go, go, go!
Too big!
Too big!
The key
The key
Oh yes Elvis the Key! On the guard there! Go!
Come on, Come on, Come on!!
Oh no...
Hey! Hurry up!
Do you know where Hunter is?
Yeah, the plan was the girl would bring him to The Lab.
The lab, we know where that is...
They tortured us there for 20 years!
Holyshit guys! If I find that f*ck doctor, I'll eat him up!
Take this Corporal!
Let's go, to the lab now!
OU-AH !!
Has this man embraced
Marxism-Leninism, Dr Muller?
Oh no, oh no!
When Ill come back, I want this man
ready to share everything!
I'll k*ll you, you n*zi b*stard,
just like I k*lled your brother before.
And how do you plan to do that, Mr Hunter?
First I'm going to use you as a shield,
then I'm going to k*ll that guard over there with
the tools you have here.
And finally, I'm gonna shove your head so far up
that f*cking nerd's a*s,
hell puke out your glasses
What makes you think we're going
to let you do this?
What day is it? Tuesday?
It's arm day!
Now it's your turn!
What the f*ck is that?!
Leave my buddy alone, you f*cking
communist m*therf*ckers!!!!
Damn it Hopkins, they're already dead!!!
Come on John, we've got to get out of here,
the whole base is on alert!
What in God's name is that?
I'll explain later !!
Here John, grab this!
It should fit you!
Follow me, we have to get the hell out of here!
No, I got one more thing!
Find the exit with your men, and meet
me at the extraction point!
Oh no no no,
I've already lost Kowalsky so
I'm not going to leave you too!
Don't piss me off Hopkins,
it's a personal matter!
That H Chi Minh b*stard is still alive!
h* Chi what??
That dirty old b*stard is still alive!
Find the exit, and take your men with you, now go!
Hurry up guys, Go Go Go Go Go!!!
As for you...
Let's see how willing you are
to share your wealth!
Give my regards to your brother m*therf*cker!
Lizardman!! Noooooo!!
Is this the only way out?
The only one I know, corporal!
The exit is right behind!
Of course it is!
Allahu akbar... on F2!
F...
Dos...
He sank my aircraft carrier!
I sh**t on...
I sh**t...
H4!!
Someone asked for democracy!?
Santa Maria Madr d Dios...
El Commando Ninja!!
h* Chi Minh! Get out of here you b*stard!!
Corporal look! It's Major Hunter!!
We're saved!!
John! Down here!
Hopkins!
The exit is right there!
But they reinforced their position, those b*stards !!!
The major has a plan...
I saw it in his eyes
Ok lets go! Lets go!
Im meltiiiing!
Dont sh**t!
Let the f*ck melt!
Well done Hopkins
So you've chosen confrontation, American!
We'll sort this out, you and me,
no need for more innocent people to die!
My operation is underway,
America must be on its knees
There are no innocents, Mr. Hunter!
For you, it'll be Major!
I thought I taught you better...
My apprentice!
Don't you recognize me... John?
Master... Yin??
Master, Why??
ENOUGH!! You wanted a confrontation, so fight,
COMMANDO NINJA!!
Who are you? You're not my master!
If you want to know, you'll have to defeat me!
What did... You do to me?
I made you feel the pain,
the pain of losing your family,
your friends,
your country,
the pain that America brought
to the people of Vietnam!
It was a pleasure to train you to the art of Ninjutsu John
You were my best apprentice
k*ll ME JOHN, k*ll ME!!
Master Yin??
When I sensed your Ki, it was my duty to train
you to the art of Ninjutsu!
Do you remember the 5 elements?
Do you remember them?
The Earth!
The Fire!
HELP ME JOHN, k*ll ME!
The Air!
The Water!
And...
Time!
So you've chosen confrontation, American!
We'll sort this out, you and me,
no need for more innocent people to die!
My operation is underway,
America must be on its knees
There are no innocents, Mr. Hunter!
For you, it'll be Major!
You've exposed me, Mr. Hunter...
I'll save you further suffering by telling you that
neither your beloved master
nor the USSR planned all this.
You see, I needed a strong body
and Colonel Yin, your master, and Colonel Yin, your master,
was the strongest human I found in this world.
However, I underestimated the power of his mind
you humans are not short of surprises...
Are you wondering who I am? Yesssssss...
I'm a child of Agent Orange,
as you call them in America.
I was created after your nerve agents were sprayed on the forests of Vietnam,
and I'm in a way a pure American product,
just like you Mr. Hunter!
Thanks to your master's body,
it was disconcertingly easy to manipulate
these INCOMPETENT nations!
And to join them to my cause, posing as their leader.
Stupid imbeciles!
However, I feel no less hatred for the Soviet nations of the East,
than your capitalist Union of the West!
I hate all humans! Yessssssss
My plan to exterminate you is...
The best stories are the shortest
Only a Commando Ninja can k*ll,
another Commando Ninja!
Still Boby Pope for Hardcore Special Report,
Live from the streets of New York, where battles raged all day!
I'm now trapped, with some brave police officers,
Led by what appears to be, a member of the U.S. Marine Corps!
Excuse me miss, a word please!
Hide you moron!! you're giving our position!!!
Young lady! A word, quickly!
You! Record this!
Enemies of the USA, listen to me!
I joined the Marines for a good reason...
I love k*lling bad guys!
But the problem I'm seeing now,
is that today
I'm looking at the results of my own country's bullshit!
Vietnamese, Iraqis, African-Americans, Cubans...
Each of you has something to blame us for,
and your thirst for justice and revenge is justified!
We even built our nation on the blood of an entire people!
You are dead American Dog!!
Amigo, let her speak !
She is not wrong...
So yes, I love k*lling bad guys!
But the k*lling of innocents must stop...
Looking at you, those Id love to k*ll,
are those who sent you here!
In their eyes, you're anonymous! They've manipulated you, torn you away from your homes and families,
to send you to k*ll other anonymous!
Si si, shes right!
Si comrade!
Perhaps the best way to fight the forces of evil,
is to stop fighting
As our constitution states, we are all born equal
Here, America is a land of infinite opportunities!
For all those who believe in equality, democracy
and FREEDOM!
I want, an American Coca Cola !!!
And me the green card ! And females!!
And me, all my oil in your 4x4!
And me, I want a risk bonus!
So let's share a good pepperoni pizza,
and make America, A DREAM AGAIN!!!
This is the best Christmas pizza I've ever had!
Pepperoni pizza peppers marshmallows,
my favorite!
Spring Roll no!!!
We said gifts are for tomorrow morning!
That kid!
Hot burgers and cold sodas for everyone,
on the house!
Elvis no!!! Daddy said No!!!
My Pizza!!!
Hopkins! I already told you
the lizard is OK but in the garage!
Oh look guys I'm on TV!!!
Turn it up Spring Roll!!!
Let me proudly award the Medal of Freedom,
to US Air Force Corporal Leeroy G. Hopkins
a true American hero.
And as of today,
I declare the
COMMANDO NINJA FORCE
as an official entity of the United States of America,
the last rempart against the forces of evil
And he didn't even mention about the salary!
Being nurtured by Liberty and Patriotism,
these shadow heroes only asked for the minimum
first class enlisted compensation.
Long live the Commando Ninja Force!
Spring Roll! No, no and no!
We're not going to celebrate
Christmas without Uncle Kowalsky!
You son of a g*n!
Merry Christmas my friends!!!
Merry Christmas!!!
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Commando Ninja 2: Invasion America (2025)
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