01x03 - What's in Anna's Shower?

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music plays]

[Kevin gasps]

What is this?

Oh my God. No, it's deer!

- [yells and laughs]
- [laughs] It is really just deer.

- It's deer?
- Deer.

What is this? This isn't deer, right?

- [laughs] Read, Kevin.
- This looks like…

It's cinnamon.

- Oh [laughs]
- [laughs]

I really don't think
that Kevin's that intelligent.

I think life is really fair.

He has a great body,
perfect abs, perfect face,

but in terms of, like,
brain cells, I think...

I think God might have,
like, just given him a little less.

Hey. Seventy-eight dollars
for a sea cucumber.

[Kane] That's more expensive
than your p*nis.

- Oh, my God.
- [laughs]

Two hundred and thirty nine dollars?

- The biggest is not always the best one.
- [Kane] It's always the smallest one.

- I know. [laughs]
- It's the smallest that costs the most.

Oh, my God.
It just gets even more expensive.

[Kane] That's not expensive.

- No.
- [Kevin] $238 for this?

Man, I'd be poor-shopping here.

[Kane, in Mandarin]
Hello, can you help us?

My friend wants
to make soup for his girlfriend.

- [in English] So...
- The Chinese yam?

Is there a Chinese name for it? I...

- Let me check.
- [laughs] Chinese name for it.

When Cherie got pregnant,
it was very early in our relationship,

but I knew Cherie was someone
who I wanna be with.

Cherie and I's situation
is definitely not traditional,

and she wants to be married,
but I'm trying to wait.

- Cherie?
- [laughs] Cherie needs this.

- I think this would solve the problems.
- Yep.

You don't need soup. [laughs]

Jessey, dude, what's going on with you?

Cherie definitely wants to be proposed to,

and Cherie's really close
to me as a friend.

And, like,
it seems to be delayed for four years,

and I'm sure
you can find a good f*cking date

for like... of the whole f*cking year.

I mean, that's 365 days.
Find a good f*cking day.

- That's shark's fin.
- Imagine cooking that.

- This is, like, a shark's fin?
- [Jessey] Uh, no, fish maw.

[Kane] Fifteen thousand?

- What?!
- Yeah.

[Kevin] Fifteen thousand?
That's like, yen or something?

- [Kane] No, that's dollars.
- USD.

Who would buy that?
You'd have to be an idiot.

Do you buy that?

It is just insane,

the prices that are on the price tag.

Jessey. We'll take two.

We will?

For just Cherie.
That's the cost of your bracelet.

It's nothing. Just buy it.

This is the most expensive bowl
of soup ever.

Oh, I'm not paying for that.
That's somebody else's.

[Beethoven's "Für Elise"
playing on the piano]

- Oh.
- [Anna] Hello.

- [Kim] Hi, Anna. Wow!
- [Anna] What are you doing?

I'm entertaining myself
while waiting for you.

[Anna] Come on.

Trust has always been an issue with me.

I've had an assistant,

and he stole over four
or five million dollars of jewelry,

and walked out in broad daylight.

I want to have friends

with integrity, morals,
principles, scruples, and respect.

I think perhaps Kim
could be someone like that.

You're so funny.

Why am I funny?

You look beautiful. Your hair, everything.

- [whispers] Thanks.
- You're not used to compliments?

- Me too.
- [whispers] I'm shy.

What intrigues me the most

was how she whispers.

I'm like, "Hello! I am a DJ.
I am deaf. I can't hear."

- So, do you know how to play?
- [Anna] Sometimes.

- Really?
- On a good day.

- Can you play something for me?
- [Anna] Move.

- All right, wow. Okay.
- No, stay there.

- [plays Beethoven's "Für Elise"]
- [Kim] Oh, wow.

- Oh, my God.
- [stops playing]

That's it.

- That's it?
- No, I know the whole thing.

But I'm not gonna play it.

[both laugh]

[Kim] This place is amazing.
I thought my parents had a beautiful home.

- [Anna] Where do your parents live?
- Malibu.

- [Anna] Oh, wow.
- Yeah.

- [Anna] Mm.
- Yeah.

Woman, you live in a jungle.
You have monkeys in here too?

No. I used to have a monkey.
I had a pocket monkey.

- You have a monkey?
- No, no. I used to.

- He died.
- Oh, he...?

Right?

We had fish,

and one day, all the fish died.

All in one night.
It was the craziest thing.

My girlfriend and I came downstairs,
and they were all dead. Floating.

- No.
- It was so weird.

- [Kim] Is that bad luck?
- That's what I thought.

Wait. Your fish died, your monkey died.

Think about it. [whispers] It's haunted.

I don't think it's haunted.
I think there are spirits.

- Anna!
- What?

[Kim] I'm scared of ghosts.

I have a fear of spirits.

And let me tell you why I'm like this.

I was in the shower, and you know
how when you take a hot shower

and the mirror gets very foggy?

I walked out, there was a name

written clearly on the mirror.

I almost freakin' peed
in my pants and died.

- These are your cars too?
- This one.

And that one is my son's.

- He likes the Lambos.
- I like the Lambo too.

I like this one. I like both.

- These are the...
- [Kim] You like fast cars?

[Anna] Mm-hmm.

Mm. All right. My type of girl.

She has this youthful energy
I really like.

And that reminds me of myself.
She's down to have a good time.

You know what? You're really cool.

- You're so funny.
- I can see us hanging out.

Having a really good time.

So, are we gonna hit Rodeo Drive
one of these days?

- Yeah, whenever you want.
- Yeah?

Are we gonna do Fast and the Furious:
Tokyo Drift one these days?

- [Anna] Yes!
- [laughs excitedly]

[Kim sighs] Oh, yes!

[hip hop music plays]

♪ Low key
That's the way you gotta be ♪

♪ My dollars… ♪

[Jessey] Okay, here.
Come here. Don't worry. Here.

- Come on, show papa how you play.
- [plays toy piano]

- Oh. [laughs]
- [Cherie laughs]

- [Jessey] You okay?
- Yeah.

- Okay. Okay, here.
- [Cherie] You love to take things apart.

Jessey's my boyfriend,

and we've been together
for five years now.

We have baby number one, Jadore,

and we have another baby on the way.

And I definitely think by now

that I should be married.

And I'm not.

And I feel, like
really pregnant right now.

- I could pop any minute.
- You know what our ideal date is.

- Yeah.
- 8/8.

[laughs] "Get rich, get rich."
That's what it means.

Anything with an eight is superstitious,
where it brings fortune.

- When you translate it… [speaks Mandarin]
- Yeah.

Right? So, it's "always fortunate."

I mean, the most important thing is
we want healthy.

Healthy would be number one.

'Cause with her, remember,
it landed really close to the date too.

[Jessey] Yeah,
she was supposed to be 6/21,

then she came 6/18.
That's a good number too.

Yeah. So, do you think

you're gonna propose this year, or...

- What?
- [Cherie] Yeah. [chuckles]

I mean, you don't even know
what you want for dinner.

What does it have to do with me?

- [Jessey] I already made a promise.
- But that's different from a proposal.

What does the promise mean?

What?

I promise you
that a proposal will be coming.

Jessey is actually a trust fund baby.

He loves to kind of be the boss,

so whenever I tell him what to do,
he kinda doesn't like it

'cause he's like, "I'm the boss," like,

he should be kinda telling me what to do.

- But he doesn't come from a bad place.
- Right?

You know
what feng shui guy said to you, right?

This year is not a good year
for us to get married.

- It's your decision.
- You know, there's no hurry.

Jadore, Mommy doesn't want you to go
through what Mommy's going through, okay?

[Jessey] Why?

[Cherie] I don't want her to get pregnant
and then not proposed to.

That's terrible.

I do feel caught
in the middle of being an American girl

and keeping my Chinese values.

You know, I feel like I don't want to
take the lead and tell him what to do,

but I feel like, on the other hand,
I'm being taken advantage of.

She has to do it
the traditional way, you know.

- Propose first.
- No.

I want my children to know that,
"Hey, we have a mom and a dad together,

and, you know,
that want to be together forever."

I'm really tired of waiting.
I don't know how much longer I can wait.

Something needs to change.

- Nowadays, what is traditional?
- What do you mean?

- I still follow the traditions.
- Yeah, it's okay.

- But I can't control you, so…
- Make it happen.

We'll see.

[hip hop music plays]

♪ This is my dream ♪

♪ Imma get it, Imma get it
Imma get it today… ♪

- [Andrew] You look absolutely beautiful.
- [Kelly] Thanks, baby.

It's such a nice night.
I hope the sunset will be really pretty.

In Paris, I made a mistake,

and I'm aware of it now.

But I'm grateful for it. I learned.

I wanna make it work.

[Kelly] Wow, that's beautiful.

The coastline is so pretty in LA.

So, now I wanna do something
for her that is a little bit different,

and I wanna surprise her

so that we can create
some new memories together.

Wow! It's like, a full Airstream.

Oh, honey!

[soft acoustic music plays]

[Kelly] This is the best view ever.
I can't believe you did this, baby.

- You wanna live in this trailer?
- [laughs]

[Andrew, in southern accent]
Just me, you, and the dog?

- [laughs] I'm down with that.
- All right.

- Okay.
- All right.

- I love you, honey.
- [Kelly] Love you too, baby.

We've gone through so many,
like, shifts in our relationship.

Yeah, we have. We really have.

I value that a lot.

'Cause every part
of our life is different stages,

and we've been there
for each other and kind of...

You know, worked through it.

It didn't come easy.
That's what I value about that too.

It's like we weathered all the storms

and we did it hand in hand, you know?

[Kelly] Mm-hmm.

But in Paris, in front of Anna,

I don't think we've showed the best self.
If she really gets to know you better,

I feel like she will see
what I see, in a sense,

because she didn't
get the full picture of you, you know,

of how amazing you are,
and then the other part of you.

Everything's good. Our life's really good.

- I love our life, you kidding me?
- I know. We just...

Sometimes, during our daily life
we get caught up, but...

I get mad about that,
I get mad about this,

but at the end of the day,
it's amazing, you know?

- [Andrew] Expectation is a biotch.
- Mm-hmm.

You know,
if we can stay like this forever,

I think we'll have a really good life.

- [Andrew] I love you.
- I love you.

- I love you.
- I love you.

- I love you.
- I love you.

[kissing]

[Kelly moans]

But at the same time,
in the back of my mind,

"We definitely have a lot to work on.

We can't live in a dream world."

[kissing]

- [wind chimes tinkling]
- [heartbeat pounding]

- [Jessey] Go ahead, let's go.
- [Cherie] Oh, my gosh.

- [Cherie] Why'd you park like that?
- [Jessey] I don't know.

- [Cherie] How am I gonna get in?
- I forgot my shoes.

- [Cherie chuckles] What's wrong with you?
- [Jessey] Hold on. I'm getting my shoes.

[Cherie] Okay.

- Ow! Hurry up!
- [Jessey] Hold on.

- [Cherie] Please! It's hurting so bad.
- [Jessey] Hey.

Hey, this matches, right?

[Cherie] Matches?
What are you talking about?

- It looks weird.
- [Cherie] I'm in pain!

- [Jessey laughs] Okay, okay. Sorry, sorry.
- [Cherie chuckles] Hurry!

[Cherie] Oh, my God,
why are you laughing? It's super painful.

[Jessey] I don't know. I don't think
this really matches my outfit, but okay.

- I like your slippers.
- [Cherie] My slippers don't match either!

[Jessey straining] One, two, three!
- Ow. Am I heavy?

- Oh, yeah, huh?
- Am I heavy?

- No. Jevon's heavy. You're not heavy.
- [Cherie] Oh, okay. That's a good answer.

Oh, my gosh.

- [doctor] Take a breath in. Hold it.
- [nurse] Pull your legs back.

Hold on to her hand.

[doctor] And go ahead.

- [nurse] Push down.
- [doctor] Hold your breath and push.

I'm pushing, but is that right?

- [doctor] No, I don't feel anything.
- Sorry.

[doctor] You need to take a deeper breath.

- Okay.
- [doctor] You're not doing that.

You're just very dainty and polished.
You're, you know...

Be somewhat inelegant this one time.

- [laughing]
- [doctor] It'll be fine.

- [nurse] You're doing a good job.
- [doctor] Do that.

- [nurse] Legs open wide. It's coming.
- [doctor] Deep breath in.

- [Cherie inhales deeply]
- [doctor] And hol... Push, push, push!

That's it. Keep going.

- Come on, baby. You're almost there.
- [nurse] Just breathe.

[Jessey] Oh, my God.

[nurse 2] Open your eyes and look down.
Here comes your baby.

- [doctor] You're doing good.
- Oh, my God.

[Jevon cries]

[nurse] Thank you.

[doctor] Dad, you wanna cut it, yes?

- [Jessey] Yes.
- He looks like you.

[Jessey] Oh…

[nurse] All right, I'm gonna take him over
to the warmer, mama. Excuse me.

- [nurse 2] Congratulations.
- [Jessey] Thank you.

- [nurse 2] Are you okay?
- That was fast.

- [Jessey] Felt like it is!
- [Jevon cries]

When I see Jevon,

I count his toes, his fingers,

and just seeing him
just gives me such an overwhelming joy.

It's... It's kinda hard to describe.

This... This arm still has that thing.

[Cherie] Thankfully,
I think Jevon is really adorable.

I wanna cherish every moment,
and I can't wait to put him in, like,

my Hermès box and Hermès bags
and take photos of him.

[upbeat music plays]

[Kane] Hi, Leo! How are you? What is this?

- This is the vegan bao. Okay?
- [Kane] It reminds me of home.

- [Leo] I know! All vegan.
- All vegan? Perfect.

I'm feeling a little homesick,
and I just wanted to share

what Singapore means to me.

So, I decided
to throw this party at Formosa.

- Hey! There's the Singapore Slinger.
- [Kane] Hi! I'm not a slinger

- [Kevin] Yeah, you are.
- How are you? Hi!

I'm always in the press in Singapore.
Always on the front page.

Even my mom gets stalked. She's like,

"Can you stop posting pictures of me
'cause I get stalked by strangers."

We want butter. A lot of butter,
so if they look fat, I look good.

[Leo] So Kane,
today is Singaporean New Year.

[Kane] Let's just call it
Singapore Day. This is when, like,

Singapore gained its independence.

I think it was around 60 years ago.

What's your favorite thing
about being Singaporean?

I think the safety is very important.

I could go out, like, at night
wearing a nice broach,

like, a nice diamond ring.

This is just nice.

Yeah, that's...
I mean, the theme today is red.

- [Guy] No, that's a lot of broach too.
- [laughs]

Oh, look at who's here.
Hey, don't outshine me, b*tch.

- Whoa!
- Hi!

All right, Jaime, you have to leave.
The door's there. Please leave.

- [Jamie] I like your broach.
- [Guy] You're gonna outshine him.

- You'll out-star him.
- The exit's right there.

Christine, can I get you a boba?

Boba's a Taiwanese drink.

No, Singapore's multi-national.

- Boba's Taiwanese.
- No, it's not.

- Hey, how are you?
- [Kevin] Hi.

Have you noticed
anything different about me?

Have you noticed?

You shaved your chest.

No, it's Dior.

- It's Dior?
- [Kevin] Yeah.

Wait, how did you not notice?

- [Jamie] I don't like that shirt.
- You don't?

- [Jamie] Yeah, I'm serious.
- Oh, okay.

Jaime and Christine being fashionistas,

they should be up to date
on these kinds of things.

[gasps] Oh, my gosh, you guys.

Cherie gave birth!

- Oh, my God!
- [Jamie] That's so cute!

- [Kelly] What happened? [gasps]
- Oh, my God.

- [Kevin] Wow.
- She looks so good.

- Oh my God. That's why she didn't...
- Wow.

Oh, my God.

- [Christine] Let's call her.
- [Kevin] Call her, Christine.

- Can I have her placenta?
- Yeah, pl... We'll share the placenta.

- [Jamie] Ew, why do you want her placenta?
- It's the best facial.

- Shh.
- [voicemail] Please leave your message…

- [Kevin] She didn't pick up.
- Let's...

Let's sing to her.

[all sing] ♪ Happy baby to you ♪

♪ Happy baby to you ♪

- [Kane] Anna, go. Your turn.
- Don't get rid of your placenta.

[Kane laughs]

[all sing] ♪ Happy baby to you ♪

We love you, Cherie.

[group] We love you!

[Kevin] And that's your placenta.
Do whatever you want!

No! I want the placenta!

Call back. Tell her we'll buy it.

- [Christine and Kane laugh]
- [Guy] Are you kidding?

[soft acoustic music plays]

♪ You show me ♪

♪ That love don't have to be ♪

♪ At first sight ♪

♪ Cause I feel sorry… ♪

- [Anna] Who are the people at the bar?
- [Kevin] Some random friends he brought.

Uh, you know Andrew. Yeah.

- Andrew? Yes, how could I not know Andrew?
- How could you not, right?

[Anna] I was surprised
to see Andrew and Kelly together.

Only because I thought
Kelly would've been stronger.

How are you and Andrew?

I'm happy he made the effort
and planned us a staycation.

That's a really big step.

We've been doing couples therapy,
so I feel like it helps,

but I feel like just the littlest thing
and he'll just snap.

You know what I'm saying? He'll blow up.

- [Anna] Can we sit down?
- Wanna sit down?

[Anna] Yes.

Well, I feel like
there's so much more to do

before, like,
I'm ready to take the next step.

- You traveled with him before, right?
- Yes.

So, how....

Traveling with Kelly would be fun. Andrew…

You know, the whole Paris thing.

He was like, screaming at me,
yelling at me, calling me names.

I see the girls talking about us in Paris.

This is all just starting
to rub in a trigger area for me.

Privacy's important in a relationship.

Why can't we neglect the world
and make it about us?

Why does the world have to know?

I think Andrew doesn't let go of his past.

If he doesn't actually let go of the past,
he's not gonna go forward.

[Andrew] Now that I've been seeking
professional counseling,

I self-regulate as much as I can.

I'm not gonna get into it with Kelly.
I'm gonna hold back and not confront her.

I'm gonna be chill.

[upbeat pop music plays]

- [Kevin] Wow.
- [Kane] Oh, my gosh. What is this?

[Kevin] What is this?

Cool.

I like to have spa days,

but I can't be bothered
with all these people who are talking.

So, I like to do it at the house.
It's fun, I get to invite my friends.

[Kevin] Oh, there she is!
The host is here.

[Kim] This is really cute
that you have a masseuse

and a manicurist.

Once again, there are more people
working here than there are guests.

I'm gonna get a free massage.

- No, I was up first.
- [Kim] No, I was up first.

You are such... You're such an as*h*le.

[grunts]

[Kevin] I was excited to get a massage.

People think
being a model is easy. It is not.

It's really hard
to flex your abs all day long.

Like this.

[grunts, sighs]

You have to hold your breath.

And it's very strenuous on the lower back.

Oh, you're putting gloves on.

[masseuse] Yes.
So, I just need you to relax.

[Kevin] Is it that intense?

[masseuse] It's that intense, yeah.
[chuckles]

'Cause it's gonna be a massage
from the inside, outside.

[Kevin] What?

From the inside, out? What are you doing?

I mean, obviously, we all like lasers,

and we all like Botox
and Restylane, Juvederm.

But now, this is the newest thing.

It's a mouth massage.

[masseuse] A lot of people,
we have tension over here, especially.

We talk a lot.

- [Kane] Yeah, he talks a lot.
- [masseuse] Yeah, I noticed. [laughs]

First, I thought it was a bit odd,

but it's pretty amazing
because it de-stresses you, if anything.

[Kim] What is she doing to you?

[Kevin] This feels great.
I need a girlfriend to do this for me.

It's not invasive.

It's, like, a fun, whimsical thing.

I speak from experience.

- [Anna] Ow, easy!
- [Kim] Anna.

- [Kim] Anna.
- [Anna] Yes?

How about we do a cleanse for your house?

Like, a spiritual cleanse.

- I'm serious. We need to do this.
- Oh, my God.

- You have the Bible with you?
- [Kim] I brought the Bible.

I couldn't get a cross,
so I brought a Bible.

The reason why I'm holding the Bible
is to protect myself.

I wish I didn't have the sixth sense
so I wouldn't pay attention to this.

But when I walked into Anna's house,

it's almost, like, an unwelcome feeling.

We gotta get the sa... What's that called?

- Sage. You don't even know the word.
- [Kane] That's not Christian.

- [Kim] Guy, come on.
- [Guy] What?

[Kim] They think I'm crazy.

- I think you're crazy too.
- [Kim] I'll be the crazy woman, then.

Fine, I'll go crazy.

Let me get this straight,
I'm doing this out of good intentions.

If there's anyone's house
that you know is haunted,

it's just the right thing to do.

Why would you have
a big old cross like that?

- [Guy] Maybe she's...
- [Kim] What does it say?

- A Chanel cross?
- [Guy] A Chanel! [laughs]

[Guy] I just think she likes
to collect vintage things, you know?

[masseuse]
Facial massage became super popular,

especially after Meghan Markle
said she does it on a regular basis.

[mouth full] Well, all right.

- [Kim] Does she know we're going up here?
- [Guy] I think we're being rude.

- [Kim] It's okay, she doesn't care.
- [Guy] Investigating her home.

My curiosity is,
"What shampoo is she using in her shower?"

- [Kim] Ooh!
- [Guy blows] Oh.

Because her hair's a mess,
and if she's not using the right product,

maybe that's the problem with her.

- [gasps] Oh, my God!
- [Kim] Oh, my God! What? What?

[Guy] She has a p*nis pump!

What? She has a p*nis pump in her shower!

I just heard "p*nis."

- [Kane] Hey!
- [Kim yells, laughs]

- What is going on up there?
- [Guy whispers] Oh, my God. Shh!

[Kim yells]

[Kim whispers] Oh, f*ck!

[squeals]

[Guy laughs] What the f*ck?

- What is she doing with a p*nis pump?
- [Kim squeals] I don't know! [laughs]

[Guy laughs] I'm trying to...
What the f*ck? Oh, it's wet!

[both yell, laugh]

Oh, that's somebody's juice.

Okay, whose p*nis is Anna pumping
in the shower? [chuckles]

- [Kim] Throw it outside.
- Why is it wet?

[Kim] That sh*t's disgusting.

- [Guy] Do you think it'd be rude if I...
- [Kim] It's not rude.

That's disgusting! What is that thing?
That sh*t is ill*gal.

[yells] Do it! Do it!

- [screams, laughs]
- [Guy laughs]

[Kevin] What is that?

- [Kim laughs] Oh, my God!
- [laughs]

[laughs]

[Kevin] Oh, my God!

That's a p*nis pump.

[Kane] This is... [grunts]

This is not a "screw you" situation.
This is a "f*ck you" situation.

[Kevin] They're so nosy.

- [Anna] How is it that you find a sex toy?
- [Kim] It was Guy!

I own the same p*nis pump at home.

I have it
next to my bed in a drawer, okay?

[Anna] Kim, you shouldn't
go through people's houses.

I didn't... It wasn't me.

I don't need a bible.

[Kim gasps]

Kim, I think is really, really rude.

I'm still going through the process

where I'm learning
who I can and cannot trust.

- [Guy] Are you offended by her?
- No, she…

- I don't think so.
- [Kim gasps]

- What?
- Really?

Anna's nice to people,
but if you cross her line,

she's gonna cut you, b*tch.

She's gonna cut you.

[laughs] You know, like Kim,
goodbye, b*tch. See you in a next life.

[Kim] I'm not the one
that found the thing.

- He went into your bathroom.
- Don't blame him.

I'm not.

[Kevin] Anna had opened her home to us,

and we were her guests,

and Kim disrespected her as a guest.

I think getting a p*nis pump thrown out
of Anna's house window

is going to make Anna think twice
about inviting people over her home.

[Kane] Just apologize!

Why would I apologize?
I'm not the one that went in her bedroom.

All right,
I apologize for Kim on her behalf.

'Cause we're all Asian, we don't fight.
Sorry Anna, on behalf of her.

Sorry for being rude
that we went through...

[Kevin] That was insane!

I think I really did misjudge

what I thought of her.
That I made a mistake.

Kim doesn't belong in my world.

[pop music plays]

- [man] Hi, Cherie.
- [Cherie] Hi.

Nice meeting you.
I'm Jacques. Photographer.

- [Cherie] Come in.
- [Christine] Hello!

[Cherie] This is Jadore. Come in.

- [Jacques] Her name! So pretty.
- [Christine] I love your dress!

[Cherie] Wow! That's not for you, though.
Okay, Jadore?

She thinks
it's her photo sh**t, probably. [laughs]

When I had Jadore, I didn't really
give her a true photo sh**t.

So, I told myself,
"If I have another baby,

I have to have
a true newborn photo sh**t."

Oh my gosh. It's so cute!

- Yeah.
- You're gonna sit in there?

[Cherie laughs] Yeah.

[Christine] How cool is this?

Christine is so over the top with Baby G,
but actually, I'm the same way.

I love dressing Jevon up.

Dolce, Gucci, Fendi.

[Christine] Oh, my gosh!

[Cherie] He eats and poops so much.

But right now,
his poop smells like popcorn, right?

Buttery popcorn.

[laughs] Ooh, I like it.

No, it doesn't. [laughs]

- Yeah.
- Does she hold the baby?

[Cherie] She's gonna wrap him, yeah.

[Christine gasps]

Aw, he's so sweet.

- [Cherie] It's really cute.
- [Christine] Oh, my goodness.

[shutter clicks]

[shutter clicks twice]

[shutter clicks]

- Aw. Don't you just wanna go snuggle?
- I do. So cute.

[shutter clicks three times]

Wait, is that a new ring?

[Cherie] No, I've had it.

It's my first time wearing it, yeah.

[Christine] Wait, is it...
Wait, are you guys engaged?

No, we're not. We're not.

I... I don't understand.

It's a promise ring.
I've had it for a while.

- That's a really amazing promise ring.
- [Cherie laughs] Yeah.

How many promises does he give you a year?

[Cherie and Christine laugh]

It's a huge disgrace in the Asian culture

to have a child

without having been married first.

I don't agree with it,

but I know that it exists.

I also know that the Asian culture
is extremely critical

because I experienced it myself.

If I went to my mom

and said I was pregnant,
without being married,

my parents would look at me
like I was some kind of sl*t.

[traditional Chinese music plays]

[crowd applauds and cheers]

[Kelly] Thank you, guys,
for being here. Such a special day.

And I'm so happy my mother is here.

[crowd applauds and cheers]

Ask your mom
to tell us about… [speaks Mandarin]

[in Mandarin]
Auntie, tell us about the Moon Festival.

[in Mandarin]
The Moon Festival is like Thanksgiving.

A celebration of the harvest.

It's a time to celebrate

with family and friends.

- Happy Moon Festival!
- [Kelly] Enjoy the party!

Enjoy the party!

[in English] Enjoy the rest
of your evening. Drink and eat a lot.

[crowd cheers]

[Kevin] Hi, Kelly, how's it going?
Good to see you.

[Kelly laughs] Okay.

- Man, you look great. Look at this.
- Thanks.

Are you really Kelly's mom?
My God. You're gorgeous!

I'm Kevin. Nice to meet you.

[Kim] He's going straight to the mom.

See? See? See? See?

He didn't even say hi to me. Hello?

I see what he's doing there.

Charming mama first.

Do we wish anything on today?

We wish on everybody being together.
Family being together.

- Do you wish me and Kelly to... [chuckles]
- Stop.

Did you like Andrew?

- Yeah.
- [Kevin] Really?

- [Emily] Yes. Nice guy.
- [Guy] Do you like Kevin?

[laughs] Nice guy.

- Is that it? Just "nice guy"?
- Let's get her side, that…

I always heard
if you can win over the mom,

you can win over the girl.

So, I'm gonna go
for a double winner there.

- What's up with you and Kevin?
- Nothing.

- Something's up.
- Nothing.

- [Kim] You're not a good liar.
- I'm not lying.

- [Kim] There's something.
- Look at this angel face.

Do I look like I lie? No.

Kevin and Kelly, they'll flirt. [laughs]

Something is going on in this party.
If I was Drew,

yeah, I would probably beat him up.
[laughs]

[traditional Chinese music plays]

[screams, laughs]

- Kim, he wants to lick you.
- Pull them off. They'll eat me up.

Don't touch it!

- Here. So cute.
- [Kim] You should feed him.

- [Kane] That's a cute a*s!
- [Kim] Hey. Hey.

Hey, look, it's twerking!

- That's twerking.
- [Kim laughs loudly]

- [Kelly] Kim!
- [Kane] Guys, where's Anna?

- No one invited Anna?
- No, I'm sure she was invited.

She doesn't want to talk to any of us
anymore after the p*nis pump thing.

[Kevin] That was your fault.

Somebody, elaborate.

I found a giant p*nis pump
in her shower and we were, like,

in shock 'cause we were like,
"Why is a p*nis pump in her shower?"

If you were to pump your p*nis,
where would be the most practical...

It's a hydro-p*nis pump,
so it's made with water.

Oh, interesting.

Yo, guys. Guys.
You two need to apologize to her.

[Kim] Buddy's backing up his sugar mama.
I would back up my sugar mama too.

[Kevin] That's bullshit.

Anna's not even that offended,
but you are.

Anna's so kind and so giving.

Why would you wanna f*ck
with someone like that?

- I don't understand why you're so upset.
- Because it's offensive, Kim.

Kim goes on again and disrespects Anna

for something she can't
even defend herself with. It's just petty.

Why is he so upset?
Because it's your p*nis pumper?

[laughs]

Like, let me go in her house
and do all this sh*t, you know?

Who raised you, wolves?

- What'd you say?
- [woman] Oh, God.

- What d'you say? "Who raised you?"
- [yells] Who raised you, wolves?

[Kane] Let's go.
We don't need this today.

- [Jamie] Yeah, I'm okay.
- [Christine] Need a moment?

- [Kevin] No, f*ck that.
- [Kim] No, f*ck that.

- [Kane] This is $100,000.
- [Christine] Like, for real?

[Kane] Okay, okay.

We need to split the group up.

- Me and my Couture are leaving.
- Yeah, you get out of here.

Thanks, Kim,
I'll send you the dry cleaning bill.

Anna can back herself up,
she's a grown woman.

- She's a grown woman.
- A grown woman with a p*nis pump.

[Kevin] Who the hell does this sh*t?

Teach her some manners.

[pop music plays]
♪ I'll get through to you somehow ♪