Space Chimps (2008)

[bunniefuu]

Since the dawn of time, space
flight has been a dream.

The rocket made it a reality.

But before men brave that giant step,

the brave stepped into the rocket.

And the brave were chimps.

Ham 1 was the first American ...

to go where no man or
chimp had gone before.

And tonight his brave legacy lives on.

Intorucing: Ham the third.
Ham's one only grandson.

Thank you, thank you, no autographs.
No flashs Photos.

Okay, fine, photos.
I'll sign that later.

Ladies and gentlemen, tuck yourself in,
as we embark on a mission to the stars.

Space, stars, bla bla bla, enough with the lecture,
let's get to the action.

- You have to buckle up.
- Chin down, Cosmo thumbs in...

When are you gonna stop worring about me,
Houston spaces is in my veins.

- And between your ears.
- It's showtime.

Here we go, come on, let's make some noise.
We are going crazy.

Prepare to be amazefied.

Let this candle.

T minus, three, two, one ...

Blast out.

Ladies.

And back again.

It seems like a dream.

Keep your eyes on
the landing pad.

No monkey business.
Stay on target hotshot.

Big finale coming up.

And a Plitsy.

And a dipsy.
And a duke.

Oh Lord!

This is not good!

Always steal the show.

It is all good folks.
That's why I put the helmet on the monkey.

The infinity probe's successfully
advancing passed the Lunar Orbit.

The status is unmanned and
remote controlled.

Detecting unidentified
space anomaly.

Warning: system malfunction.

System malfunction.

It's so pretty.

Come here, little flutterly.

- Oh no.
- Zartog.

Can't you brats read?
Keep away from my house.

You monster!

If I could catch you punk, I'll dunk
you in the Fresnar too.

I wonder why everyone
in town hates you.

Just the way I like it.

- Look, it's coming closer.
- I's a sky beast.

My house.

A gift from the sky.

I am the 'Infinity Probe' from
the planet Earth.

We will now perform a full
body examination.

For purelly scientific
purposes.

Since the dawn of the time
mens undominable spirit has led to...

great achievements made
in culture and civilization.

His creativity longers in architecture,
art, music, engineering ...

but man isn't all works,
he likes to play too.

I want to live like them.

System control interface operational.

Manual override engaging.

A new day has come, and
that day is Zartog.

This amphibians program
started in the nineteen sixties.

And these chimpanzees are like the ones
used in the first space machine.

When are they go to space?

They don't. They just exibits
the past.

Hey, What's up, Comet?

I don't know, but
something big.

What do you mean, LOST?

Senator, the Infinity was
drawn off of course by...

a magnetic attraction
from a dimensional anomaly ...

in time, space continuum.

In English.

It was sucked into a wormhole.

My constituents care about potholes
no worm holes.

Do you know how many potholes we can fix
for five billion dollars?

... Power three.


fluctuations and as for...

- Labor costs.
- And overtime.

It was a rethorical question, brainiacs.

Our data indicates the 'Infinity' is
emerged on the far side of the universe.

As you can see from this image ...

the 'Infinity' has landed on a planet
in a crater field, filled with H2O.

- It means water.
- I know what it means.

Senator, if the the atmosphere
is viable...

the planet could sustain life.

Maybe even an elephant expansion team.

This could prove what
we suspected all along.

We are not alone.

Just think what a mission
could do for science.

Not to mention T-shirts sales.

Political gold. I want
astronauts over there pronto.

Not gonna happen.
Too risky for humans.

We don't have a clue how the
wormwhole will effect living tissue.

It could transmofied the DNA.

- Causing blindness.
- Heart failures.

Very likely, death.

Gripping.

What are you doing?

Gettin us a mission.

- We could send the chimps.
- Chimps?

Chimps? Not human,
but not horrible.

-Show me what you got.
- Guys, we got a mission.

Senator, Titan, Luna, and Comet are fully
prepared for the mission.

They've been training for
this their whole lives.

Training, worthless.
Those chimps are boring.

They're chimps nerds.

Uh, technically, there is no
such thing as nerds in this simian world.

I know a nerd when I see one.

Do you think he means that
we are nerds?

No, No, we are super cool.

What this mission needs is some PR.

Some Sizzles, that grabs media attention.

Need the chimp with
the right stuff.

We have someone like him.

A real hero. With dignity
and nobility.

He's been dead for thirty years.

But he does have a grandson.

What a pain.

When I was promised your grandpa
to look after ya...

I'd never thought I'd be playing pickup
sticks with monkey bones night after night.

What can I say, I am an evelope pusher.
I can't do anything halfway.

Yeah, well you keep showbottin' and
you will be halfway to the text burdens.

You can't take him.
He belongs to me.

Official government business.
And in that domain, national security ...

and a lot of security black helicopters,
you do not wanna mess with.

Ooo, He is older than I had expected.

Well, you ain't no spring chicken either.

And you're looking for ...

- He is so cute.
- Yeah, I'm a hottie.

I'm Dr. Smothers, and you
are going into space.

- Just like your grandfather.
- The space?

Wrong answer. You got the wrong
Hamm, doctor.

Okay, bye space lady,
who is attracted to me.

Good to see you. Take care,
Don't let the door hit on the way out.

He seems very excited to go.

Kid, you throw away the
only chance you got.

This is the chance to make good.
Leave up to your legacy.

Hey, I'm the star of my show.

Not just a warm up actor for some
human astronaut.

Your grandfather was' nt
some warmup act.

He was a NASA astronaut.

Got his face on magazines,
newspapers, television ...

he even met the president.

I have met the chief of police once.

Ham, He has done something to be proud of.

He had a dream and went for it.

- You got dream?
- I'm living my dream.

Houston, we have a problem.

Thanks for supporting the government.

I'm just before the court.

I'm gonna need that charter back.

Looks like, we're gonna
need a new canon ball.

You like to travel?

- Here he comes.
- Stand upright proud.

I can't believe it. We are going to fly
with the grandson of the great Ham.

Are you sure this is the grandson?

I know my rights. I'm
calling the ASPCA.

I demand to talk to my ring master.

Help, I'm being kidnapped.

Oh, he is clearly excited to
to be in a new environment.

Good God!

Good glass.

Commander Titan, navigation
and coordinates.

Ham don't and care.

Lieutenant Luna, it's an honor Sir.

Hello, ladies chimp.

Do not mind if I do ball.
Luna means Moon in Latin.

That's right, sir.

What do you know.
Two lovers of language.

Name is Comet.
Computers and Electronics.

- I look forward to serving with you.
- Sorry kid, but I ain't sticking around.

I gotta play Pokips on Saturday.

- Let's go, Houston.
- Dir, with all due respect...

you've been selected for a mission,
of historical significance ...

- ...and in a noble pursuit of ...
- Yes, 'Land of the Free. Home of the Brave. "

Listen. The only mission I have
is to entertain.

Watch and learn. Abracadabra.

- Cool.
- Oh perfect, He is a joke.

Anyway, best of luck. Break a leg. Blastoff.
Whatever is you say. But I gotta bounce.

What are those?

Rocket packs. We'll be demonstrating
them to the press Saturday morning.

My ticket home.

Flight from fear.
Lord Zartog is near.

By now, we're all aware of ...

the insane power I command
with my big shiny driving machine.

Are there anyone among you
who oppose my rule?

Ah wait, so you're saying
that you're in charge ...

because that thing landed on your hut?

Yes, and if you don't obey me,
I will dunk you in the 'Fresnar' throw.

You won't do that.
Cause I will be brozen forever.

Exactly.

Anyone else fancy a dip?

Good, all of you, get to work.

Let's get this party started. The "Infinity"
recorded 10 Gs through the wormhole.

If the chimps internal structure
can not widstant the presure ...

they will explode like a moth in
the microwave.

Prying their brains and
splattering their guts.

Your cheese looks amazing.

Here comes 5 G's.
Here comes 6 G's.

This thing is going so fast.




This might be a weird time
to ask ...

... but will you help me
move next week?

I do not have much stuff, but
we make it a fun day.

Hey, that was fun.
You guys got a log right?

- My turn.
- Oh, poor little Comet ...

he thinks he's going into space.

Three chairs, three chimps.

Hey, let's head for lunch.

I eat no fat food.

We need you here, Comet.
Our eyes and ears.

Hey kid, did I ever told you the story...

of the short circuit and planes
the first Mercury rocket.

- That was you?
- It was the day Ham's grandpa ...

and I going the term so easy,
a human could do it.

Oh, I don't know what makes me happier ...

Einstein's unified field theory, or our
running monkeys on a treadmill.

What?

And I think I almost got that at Harvard
to start a software company.

Who's laughing now, Bill Gates?

Memorizing sequence is a vital test
for the chimpanzee brain capacity.

You guys wanna sweet jams?

When are you gonna straigthen up
and fly righ.

Saturday, about 10 AM.

Ham, I made these radios for the voyage, I
think that they might work through the wormhole.

- Huh, you made this?
- Well, I'm good with machines.

Listen kid, thanks for the banana
berry but I won't be needing it.

Commet, I'll take the radio.

Uh, hey kid. Special Edition
'Simmion Space Shade. "

Wow, thanks. Sweet.

My fellow citizens.

This mission will travel clear
across the cosmos...

where we hope to finally answer
the age-old questions is ...

... there is intelligent life out there?

Review rocket control.

Right thumb Go, left thumb Stop
Up is Right, down is Left.

- You got that?
- Yeah, yeah, right thumb Go, left thumb Stop.

Now you seeing it. Now you're not.

Where to go. Here it is.

- Hi, I was hidding.
- You're missing a link.

Chimp up cannon ball.
You're not in a circus anymore.

Making this great leap through
the wormhole to ...

comes a great risk
and danger.

Who will blaze the trail for us?

The few, the proud,
the monkeys.

Awesome.

A historic moment, and here he is ...

a symbol of our countries once
and the future greatness ...

Ham the third.

Thank you!
Thank you!

Hey, to the circus, and beyond.

That's gotta hurt.

How much fuel is in that backpack?

- Oh boy
- Cool

Oh wrong way. Incomming.

Chimps gone wild.

- Oh, oh no, That hurts.
- Save the children, run for your life.

Hey hey, look, I'm on TV.

This is not good.

Oh, That's not good.

He is a joke.

Which way to the circus?

Load them up.

What kind of simulator is this?

- It looks really realistic.
- Oh It is.

Okay, I got that out of my system.

Wait, not quite yet.

Okayk, I'm good.
Now, where are we?

Uh... guys?

The simulator is getting smaller and smaller.

This is not a simulation, is it?

We are now officially
"Space Chimps."

The 'Horizon' has completed its
first phase of the operation.

- Wonderfull.
- There they go.

Congratulations to us.

That is too straight.

What a donkey.

No, no, you're doing it all wrong.

Move them higher.

Line them 12 in a row.

Careful with that.
It has cost me a day to throw.

- Splork?
- Yes, Lord Zartog.

- Kneel to Lord Zartog.
- Yes, Lord Zartog.

Soon, the house of Zartog will be finished.
It's going to be magnificient.

It's a shame the volcano
will destroy it ...

when the three suns will line up,
on 'triple Sunday. "

I'm one step ahead of that
volcano.

That's why I'm building... those!

These pipes will divert
the 'Fresnar' simply away.

Nothing will come to destroy
the home of Zartog.

But if you divert all
volcanoes 'Fresnar' ...

our entire village will be buried.

Exactly. A glorious reflective pool,
to reflect my glorysness.

- Gloriously.
- Bu... Bu... But, where we'd all live?

With me, in my dungeon.

How gracious of you, my Lord.

Commander's logs, start date... now

Space, the final frontier.

- Can you give me a pillow and blanket?
- Stay in your seat.

- It's regulation.
- I have bravely logged my ...

Look, no hands, no feet,
no tail.

On earth, your unsubordinate behavior
would get you chimpmartialed.

- You're not gonna do that the whole trip are you?
- What?

Use champ to replace real phrases?

I'll tell ya, I'm gonna k*ll him.

Commander, violence is against
the primate directives.

- You're right, Lieutenant.
- Is love against ...

the primates directive?

Listen and learn, cannon ball.
The approach sequence ...

must be activated.
... In order, fire the engines

true and fast.
The red one first ...

low and latest, and between, press


- Permission to speak, commander.
- Permission granted.

- You're a dork.
- I don't like you.

- Engaging 3D Matrix.
- Ready, Visual image.

Fire 'Photon torpedoes'.

It says' go 'on, cannon ball.

Oh yeah? Prove it.

Titan, don't.

Right to the mission.

Oops, I'm sorry.
How do you think we should name our kid?

- What? I'm gonna take off.
- You're going down.

A little stabilizers.
Check!

Emergency thrusters.
Checked.

Collision detector.
Checked.

Circus freak.

I can't take this for another 73 light years.

I got you. Here it comes.

Argh, easy on the fur, furious George.

Unrully crew member
has been detained.

- And according to regulation numer 815 ...
- What's regulation 815?

Guys, I gotta pee.

Ooh, talking about suction.

Oh, by the way guys, we
lost the toilet paper.

Not my fault.

Blasters aligned for entry.

Wow, am I glad we are not going
in that crazy-looking thing.

Sorry, while on the mission, I
can only hear real astronauts.

Then who did you just say 'Sorry' to?

- Someone else.
- Why did you say than "someone else"?

-Atch.. jerk boy!
- Nose picker.

- Poop thrower.
- Maybe there's some music on the radio.

... Hey Monkeyrena.

Circus free.

- Approaching dimensional anomaly entry.
- Brace for event threshold.

Approaching, 5G's, 6G's.



- Must.. stay.. alert.
- Proceed...

Titan!

Come on. Come on.
Where is the reverse on this thing?

- Welcome to InStar.
- Oh, thank God.

How can I help you?

- "Horizon" has entered the wormhole.
- Marvellous.

We'll require signal in 12 minutes and


- This better work.
- We got three chimps ...

trapped into a 3.7 billion dollars spaceship.
What could go wrong?

Hey, cool. A planet.
We're headed right for it.

Oh my God, we're heading right for it.

Wake up. Wake up
You're gonna land this thing.

Okay, no need to panic. You're
just hurdling in a wormhole ...

on the other side of the universe
with nine thousand miles an hour ...

and no brakes.
Pull up. Come on.

Steering wheel?

Please, let one of these
be a force field.

Please.

- Airbags deployed.
- I did it.

I am the smartest chimp
in the universe.

- That wasn't so bad.
- Ship stablelized.

Reaquire signal in, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

I'm heading to 'Kinkoo's later,
If anybody wants me to run off their resume?

- You lost the ship?
- It must be some sort of technical malfunction.

Burning microwave popcorn
is a technical malfunction.

This is a billion dollars disaster.

- 3.7 to be exact.
- Look on the bright side...

If they don't come back, we save


We can always count on the'24 hour
fail/safe system. "

You have 24 hours to bring back
those chimps, or ...

I'll cut your funding, and make this
space program history.

And I mean every cent. You won't even
be able to afford pocket protectors.

- You monster.
- Remember, no bucks. NotBuck Rogers.

- I love Buck Rogers.
- Who is Buck Rogers?

Oh, they lost contact.
Comet to Luna.

Come in, Luna.

Must be solar flare interference.

I have to hack the mainframe
to filter the signal.

sh**t! In my days, We
just yelled louder.

Oh Great, we landed in Barstow.

Let's see. Elephants are peanut chess.
No, not that one.

Circus mess hall. Ringmaster Hugo.
Houston's bananas closet.

One small step for Ham ...

one more small step for Ham ...

- and yet, another small step.
- What are you doing out here?

Testing for gravity.
Yes, it works.

Who authorized you to open the hatch?

Commander.

You are a liability to this mission.

Liability? I was steering this crate while you and
Commander Como were sawing logs.

You stayed awake, and you didn't
activate the landing sequence?

- That's all you had to do.
- Not true.

I was catching up my 'panicking'

- Oh, no, Don't.
- What?

The air can be poisonous.

Oh no, Poisonous air.

- Lieutenant's log ...
- I'm chocking.

- Air is breatheable.
- ... gas.

- The temperature is normal.
- I'm dying.

Winning daytime enemy.

And there is no sign of intelligent life.

Look, the planet has three suns.

Amazing. Just like every science fiction
movie involving another planet. I guess there would be.

As you all know, tomorrow
is 'triple Sunday. "

Our three suns will come together
as one, and the volcano will explode.

In honor of this special day and
More importantly, Me.

I'm throwing a celebration. A sort of
'Palace warming' party.

- You overlord.
- What?

Another metal beast
fell from the sky.

A metal beast? Like this one?

Only bigger.

- Bigger than mine?
- It's not the size of the beast ...

it's what you do with it
did matters my Lord.

- Traitor.
- I am not a traitor.

- Then take it back.
- Okay, I take it back.

You can't take it back.
Now it's out there.

They all heard.
You have heard, right?

- Me?
- Congratulations, you are the General.

Take a party of warriors
and bring me the sky beast.

Okay, tall guy, you with the red belly,
guy with the funny hat, and ...

- ... and the splut one in the back.
- I'm always picked last.

Man out.

Take the 'Floofians. "

Imagine, we are the first astronauts
to ever set foot on this planet.

These photos will be front page news.

The most important images of the century.

Can you get one of my good side?

Ops, forgot. I'm all good sided.

Maybe take one of me looking all
heroically, with my chin like this.

And another one like this.

Always alert. Brute.

Pose, the stike.

Candid. I've been candid.
I've been naughty.

Wait, Luna. I wouldn't
do that if I were you.

This is the first sign of complex life
on an alien planet.

Astronauts gather knowledge,
it's what we do.

- I just be a little carefull.
- You, carefull?

I'm just saying, that looks like
a flower used by 'Piddles "the clown.

- I gotta hear this.
- 'Piddles' is a very cute clown ...

who has a cute little box,
covered with cute little flowers.

The kids think it's the sweetest
thing they've ever seen.

Until ...

Boom. A giant snake pops out.

Please, I am a trained astronaut.
I know what I'm doing.

Trained astronaut?
'Space Chimps' are a joke.

If that what you think
of your grandfather?

Just pick your flower, then
let's get back to earth.

If there is no traffic in the wormhole, I can
still make the 8 o'clock show at the circus.

Uptight scientific
book worm.

What does' Piddles' next?

He usually throws a bucket of confetti in the audience and
then runs around smashing pies in his own face.

- I don't think that's gonna help us here.
- My space manual ...

there must be something in here
about what to do.

Alien captures, Alien uprisings,
How to say No to an alien probe.

Manual overrride.

Confetti, I can't explain it,
they just scares things.

You sure they are not
scared of them?

Okay, I know this sounds crazy, but I think
these guys are going to be super chill.

- Death to Strangers.
- Great name for a band.

Titan, wake up.

- The sky beas is ours.
- Quick, this way.

- We can't leave the ship. Or Titan.
- Looks like they're leaving us.

Return to Lord Zartog.

Get them. Fire.

You should've never had to leave the ship,
it's all your fault.

Me, I did'nt signed up for this.
I should be in the makeup trailer ...

and not stuck on an alien
planet saving you.

You, saving me? I am the astronaut,
you're just a publicity stunt.

- Well, you are really sinking low.
- Yeah, well you deserve it.

No, I mean that you literally getting lower.
We are sinking.

- I can't get out.
- Come on. Like we say in the circus ...

the show ain't over, until the
bearded lady shaves her back.

- Eew.
- It is just gross as it sounds too.

Climb on my shoulders and grab that vine.

Excuse me, that's my leg.

- They're in the swamp.
- Attack!

- Now what?
- Swing very stiffo. Swing like wind.

Release your inner chimp.

Come on, Luna. Like you are on a trapeze.
- I am not in the circus.

Life is a circus, Luna.
Only the tents get better.

I come save you.

I can't . I can't do this.
I'm going to fall.

Yes you can Luna.
You can do this.

- I can't.
- Use your shoulders, kick your legs ...

- Swing and let go.
- Shoulders, legs, swing, let go.

Shoulders, legs, swing, let go.

- Nice, there you go.
- Shoulders, legs, swing, let go.

- The chimp has been released.
- Waving, let go. Look at this.

No.

See, that'll do it. Just a couple of chimps
swinging through a jungle ...

with eyes and mouths.
Eyes and mouths?

Snake 1, meet snake 2.

Grab him.

Showtime.

Good afternoon, ladies.

- What a first date, huh?
- This is not a date.

Oh yes it is, and I really hope
to see you again, because we're about to ...

- ... fall.
- Ham, what do we do now?

Aim for the soft patch, spread
your arms wide ...

chin down, "thumbs in"

- I hope you know what you do.
- Are you kidding me?

I do this every day of the week. Except
on Monday, that my ME day.

- Ham.
- Luna, chin down.

Ham, Ham, you're okay right?

Ham, get up.
Come on, Ham.

I am sorry I was rough on you.

Sure, you were irresponsible,
dangerous and undisciplined ...

but you saved my life, and you
are a kind of funny ...

in an unbelivably annoying way.

- And you were ...
- Cute? - No.

- Handsome?
- No.

Like Brad Pitt, but less shorter
and more hairy?

- What?
- Luna, do you copy?

- Let me just say one thing.
- Luna's alive.

You're the most annoying, obnoxious,
selfish creature that I've ever met.

- And Ham's alive.
- Luna, Ham, do you read me? Come in.

- You are an embarassment.
- We can hear them, but they can't hear us.

We need to calibrate the Gregorian rate
Replace the ...

Helix mirror, and crossfeed the surronding troud.

The only word that I understood
was Feed.

Mission log. We are stranded on
a hostile alien planet.

- Commander Titan has been kidnapped.
- And we are falling in love.

No, that we are not.
Ignore that last part. Delete.

- Kidnapped?
- Stranded? We go to get moving kid.

We lost our ship and have only 22 hours before
the automatic pilot engages ...

- and we stuck here forever.
- Wow, what? What do you mean, stuck?

The ship has a builtin safety
program to automatically ...

fly back to earth to fly 24 hours after
we land. It was in your manual.

Was that before or after the chapter on the
fleet of rescue ships they'll send to save us?

Ham, we have one chance
at getting home

I've had worse odds that that.
Let's get moving.

'Sky Beast 2, the Sequel. "

- Yes.
- Greetings, aliens.

Don't worry, you didn't
wake me.

I needed to get up
I'm commander, Titan.

I've traveled through space,
In search of knowledge.

To explore the outer riches of the universe.

Make first contact with
aliens like yourselves.

Seal you in miller wrap and take you to
my home planet. Be disected.

- Disected?
- Oh yeah, now, it's when we lay you down on ...

some nice wax paper, slice you
open with a butter knife.

But first you need to form a line, so
that I can label and catalogue you.

Organism 1, Organism 2, Organism 3.

I am Lord Zartog.
Ruler of the planet Malgor.

Zartog? your birds maned you that?
Because you are different.

I like you.
Is that with 1 G or 2?

I'll take that as a one.

Number 4, 5.
There's a lot of you.

Wow there mister, that's space
agency property.

You're in direct violation
of the interstellar protocol.

But, if you cooperate with me I will ask
the tribunal to go easy on you.

Cooperate with you?
I'm going to destroy you.

I appreciate your honesty,
you're a good man, Zartig.

And a worthy adversary,
Be proud.

Prepare to
be frozen forever.

You do not even know how to use the
miticullating micro movement device.

Even a first year can do that.

Hum, would you show me
the secrets of the beast?

Negativo. You're not trained,
not qualified, and not even insured.

Please. I'll do anything.

You could help me
find my crew.

- There are more?
- Two others.

We uh.. lost them in the
Gunglevick jungle.

What kind of idiot would
go in there?

Ham.

You got to admit, being on a weird
alien planet is almost cool.

All my whole life, I dreamed of
being a real astronaut just ...

like your grandfather.
And here I am.

Real astronauts?
Wake up, Luna ...

the only reason why we are here is to
to see if we explode in space.

You're wrong,
we are real astronauts.

- Ham?
- Witch one of us lost our flashlight?

That moves really fast.
Behind rocks ...

and has a head?

- Cool.
- Please, I mean you no harm.

Hi, I'm Lieutenant Luna.

My name is Hille Walle Wisa Seihua.

Oh great. It's drunk.

I am the last free Lusian
from the village of Kiloualawasahaui.

We come from the earth.

You know, the earth. ITunes,
greenhouse gas, David Beckham ...

What's up with the glow in the dark
brain case?

My head lights up when I'm scared.

You don't need to be scared of us.
We are your friends.

Friends.

- Are you alone?
- Yes ...

my village was imprisoned
by Zartog and a skybeast ...

Its metal claws gave him the power
to enslave the planet.

Metal claws?
The Roover.

- We too, came from the stars.
- Yes, I saw you crash.

You saw that?
That was me.

- What?
- Do you know where our ship is?

- At Zartog's palace.
- Can you lead us there?

Don't worry. We'll
protect you, Killawallezalla ...

Oh, let's just call him Kilowatt
or we'll be here all day.

Or night.

We leave in the morning.
The journey is perillous.

We must cross through the valley
of very bad things.

It is a land of untold danger.
agony and t*rture ...

not to mention alien earth flu,
substance arches, mad flowers disease ...

the cave of the flesh-devouring beast.

And the dark cloud of 'It'
where none of escapes unchanged.

Sleep. You'll need your rest.

I could use a little sha...

Stay on your side of the planet.

You earthling have a funny
way of showing love.

We do, don't we?

Good night, honey.

Wake up.

- Well, that was refreshing. We have slee for ...
- Five seconds.

Yep. That's just one the benefits of living on
a planet with three suns.

Follow me.

Listen and learn.

The TR513I is a high performance
all purpose space exploration vehicle.

'Rocket and Ready "the engineers,
have equipped her ...

with a defense
for every situation.

And the 60 million kilowatts
internal nuclear powerplant...

ensures that she always got
enough juice to get the top jobs done.

- Ready to take your first run?
- Yes, that's my thought exactly.

Oh, the waiting is just mindnumbing.

- I really needed a Snickers, and you?
- I'm allergic to peanuts.

Wow, this is even better than
circus peanuts.

I still can not believe that
the grandson of the great Ham is a clown.

- Hey, I like what I do.
- Don't you want to be a hero?

You mean like a sandwich?

I wish I could welcome you
called with fruit from our village, but ...

Zartog had it all destroyed.

We're sorry Kilowatt.

Why would you build a machine like that?

We didn't, the humans did.

- What are humans?
- They are just like us. Well 99.9% like us.

But it's the 0.1% which makes
them own everything.

- Don't.
- But these are big gum drops.

That is no food.
That is a 'glophopper. "

Guys, Is it just me,
or is that ...

a really handsome
pile of 'glophoppers'?

Hey, check this out.

Why any life form
would want to mimick you ...

is one of the unsolved mysteries
of the universe.

Come on, bust out the scissors.
The rug isn't going to cut itself.

I have never danced before.

Oh okay, so we'll take baby steps.
Give me your arm.

There you go. Not to shabby.
You're a natural.

I am ? Really?

Are you kidding me?
Absolutely.

I'm at the pops,
as well as the conclusion ...

now the bus stop, robot.

Rumba dart.

Run for it.

Ham, we can't outrun them.

Making a roll these dudes.

Come on.

They don't call me
'the Hamster' for nothing

It is just like that my name is Ham.
And I am rolling in a wheel.

Never mind.

We really go to work on stopping.

No, no wait, don't
leave gumdrop people.

- Your stopping skills are great.
- They are affraid.

It is the cave of
the flesh-devouring beast.

What is with this planet?

Will you k*ll you, if you have a cave
with cute little kittens?

Ham, we got to finish this mission.

We have only 12 hours,
before the ship takes off.

Through the cave is the only way
to your ship.

- Run.
- Come on, Luna.

I want this party to be remembered
forever ...

beyond anything Malgor
has ever seen.

You'll need streamers. Nothing screams
faster of white streamers ...

I love them.

And then some goodie bags for
when your guests leave.

It's a fun, simple way to
to say 'thanks for coming. "

Splork, grab a pen.

Maybe we'll get lucky, and this beast
will only devour our flesh with his eyes.

We have to find the exit.

This way. It's too narrow
for him to get through.

Faster. He's gaining on us.

- It's a dead end.
- No.

Come on.

- Kilowatt, put yourself off.
- Can not. Too scared.

What if we can't get out
of here, we are dead.

- That does not help me.
- Okay, here is a trick.

To control your fear, imagine what
you're most affraid of.

And then imagine overcoming it.

- Ham, it's breaking free.
- Come on. You can do it, Kilowatt.

Be brave.

Control your fear. Control your fear.

Control your fear. Control your fear.

Wow, it works.

The exit.

Let's go.

- It's blocking the way out.
- We're trapped.

I have been scared my entire life ...

but you showed me
how to control it.

Kilowatt, no. What are you doing?

What I must.

If you swallow me, I will only
grow stronger.

Kilowatt, no.

Why did she do that?

Oh, so stupid, and brave.

That was the most brave
that I have ever seen.

Where are we?

This should be the dark cloud
of 'It'.

It's making me feel weir
and depressed.

I shouldn't even be here.

- I'm just a low rent circus chimp.
- How does that make you feel?

Like a stupid pet trick.
Witch is all I am.

A joke. I can be replace
by a cannon ball.

Man, crying and sobbing.
They're running out of oxygen.

Come on sport, we got to
get through.

I'm almost there.

I'm not even a good chimp.
I've never once said thank you to Houston.

- He is like a father to me.
- Oh Ham.

All my life, I've been living in my famous
grandpa's shadow.

How does that make you feel?

You know how it's like to
live in a shadow? It's cold.

I knew I could never become a hero,
So I became a clown.

I think you've had a break through.
I'm afraid that your time is up.

Here it goes. With this much power
they'll hear us for sure.

Oh Lord.

Yeah, All that, back there that was just
the cloud talking. So...

It's okay. Sometimes a conflict between
a super ego, and an 'It' ...

can cast a long shadow
in a soul.

I have no idea what you just said.
I'm going to walk this way now.

Pathetic rubbling sl*ves of Malgore.

Welcome to the 'triple Sunday. "

Soon the suns will line,
and the volcano will explode ...

and a lot of you will
not going to live.

That's your cue.

Now we party my way.

Dance or don't.

- You.
- Who?

- You're not dancing.
- Yes, I am.

- No, that's more of a shuffle.
- No, a dance.

- Shuffle.
- Dance.

- Shuffle.
- Okay, shuffle.

That's like the secong biggest evil lair
I've ever seen.

And I've seen two.

- Hey, there is the ship.
- And there is the prober.

Now it is my thrill to present
the main attraction ...

the monkey who showed me the way.

Here is Titan.

Oh my gosh, Titan.

Oh my gosh, and he is not asleep.

If we just have our rocket packs,
we could rescue Titan from the air.

- Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- We are not paid to think ...

As a matter of fact, we are not paid at all.
Think about that.

Uh... Wait. Chimps don't leave
chimps behind.

Luna, I hear you. I hear you.
I do, but here is what I have to say about it.

- Let's leave him.
- Ham.

Fine, we'll save him.

Begin torturiously slow dunking mechanism.

Zartig, now that I've got to know you,
you seems like a reasonable alien ...

witch is why I'm willing to offer
you a play bargain.

- No.
- Let's go.

Here we go, ladies.

Go ahead. Dunk me. Now, you'll
never learn how to use the 3D Radar.

- 3D Radar?
- That's right. The 3D Radar.

- Luna, follow me.
- Roger that.

Who is Roger?
Is it serious?

Tell me, tell me, tell me please.

Lift the bar with the star. Not too far,
to start the radar.

You take the left,
I take the right.

- Alert. Chimpanzees Incoming.
- What?

Fire away.

Luna, nice.

Now, let's get back to the ship,
so I can save you guys...

and make sure we come home.

- Where did those chimps go?
- They have escaped.

Traitor.

Commander, launch control
is not responsive.

Check the diagnosis.

Nothing but bells and whistles.

Why did they teach us all that stuff...

if the controls are
not even hooked up.

I told you guys. This
hole thing is a sham.

They wanted to see if our brains still worked
after going through a wormhole.

- We're Spam in a can.
- And we weren't even suppose to open the can.

Sorry, Luna. But are nothing more
than guinea pigs.

Actually, the guinea pigs
are on a Mars mission.

The ship was on autopilot
all the whole time.

We were not really flying it.
We were not really astronauts.

- You were right all along.
- I didn't want to be right ...

besides, that's what humans think of us now.
What we should think.

Why wasn't I born a rabbit?
Or a squirrel?

Or a art history major?

Nobody expects great things from them.



Well, at least we're safe and going home.




- I can't go.
- What?

I know we didn't build the 'Probe',
but he came from the earth.

We did this to them.
I can't run away.

We owe to Kilowatts
and to this planet.

I took an oath to return this ship to earth

And that's what I'm going to do.

Ham is right.

I'd rather be hero here on Malgor,
than a space chimp back on earth.

Lieutenant Luna, this is an order.

- There goes our ride.
- And Titan.

- Commander.
- And what about your oath.

Chimps don't leave chimps behind.

You sir, are going to make me cry.

- Ham, we need a plan.
- The commander of the mission comes up with a plan.

And your plan is?

Well the plan, Yes the plan, of course.

Since I'm the commander of the plan,
whatever plan. It is my plan.

It's not your plan ...

- Titan.
- Party time.

We have contact.
The ship has exited the wormhole.

Touchdown in 15 seconds.

Okay, here we go. History in the making boys.
Roll those cameras.

What the ...

I'm afraid that the chimpanzees
did not make it.

- You think?
- That's it.

The mission has been canceled.
Space programs... done.

Oh no, they're going to be stuck up there.

From tomorrow, this entire agency ...

will be recomissioned into something useful ...

like, one of those places where you
designs, and paint and bakes your own plates.

He does have a point.
That is useful.

What about the 2 chimps
who are still here?

Two chimps, two words:
'animal testing'.

- We have to get to mission control.
- We are their only chance.

- Follow me.
- Hold on.

Cool, for a 20th century chimp ...

you're moving pretty quickly
to the 21st century.

Oh, maybe I'm old,
but I'm aerodynamic.

You don't have to keep up, son.

Great plan.

At last, prepare to be dunked.

- Lieutenant Luna?
- Yes, commander.

You should've ask Ham
to come up with a plan.

Three chimps, three codes.
Whitch one first.

Is it you?

The bigger one.

Or are you? Those adorable.

Or all three at once?

As a commander, the least
I can do is make sure ...

Zell b*mb here doesn't dunk you guys.

How would you do that?

Because I will teach you the 'Roover' secret
to universal domination.

The entire universe?

It's big, right?

But first let my crew go.

- Wow wow, What?
- Tell me.

- What's he doing?
- Tell me, please.

I'll let you live.

To dominate the universe, hit
the yellow button first.

Turn the blue knob,
and then the green.

And pull the lever in reverse.

- This one?
- That's right.

- You really are stupid.
- Yeah.

And a very bad poet.

Ops, did I say reversed?

That was a joke.

- Kilowatt, you're alive.
- But how?

We saw that the flesh-devouring beast
swallowed you.

He's not big on chewing.

But how did you get out?

Don't make me go there.

- What?
- You guys need a hand?

- Somebody wants the Zartog statue?
- I'll take it.

You have liberated us from
the bonds of sl*very.

We are eternally grateful.
We owe you our lives.

- We came.
- We crashed.

We kicked his butt.

What? Why do you have to
bring his butt to do it.

That is a saying.
That's how it goes.

No, that is not how it goes.

I'm like 99.9% sure that's
how it goes.

You earthlings have
funny way showing love.

Luna, do you read me?

Hey, Luna, is that a banana in your pocket?

- Would you evolve?
- Sorry

Comet to Luna?

- Comet?
- Luna!

Comet? Oh thank heavens.

- You'll never believe what's happening.
- We've heard everything.

- We've been able to hear you the whole time.
- The whole time?

Yep, the whole time, son.

I am sorry kid, pushing you to live
up to your legacy.

It's okay, Houston.
Maybe it's time I do.

- What's your status?
- Single.

But there is someone I've got
my eyes on.

It's Luna.
In case you were wondering.

- Oh wait, are we talking about the mission status here ?
- Yes.

Uh, well, everything is okay, but we have
no way to leave.

- You still got the 'Probe'?
- The 'Probe'?

It wasn't designed to return
to earth.

We'll just have to chimpervise.

- You know, I kinda missed your stupid puns.
- Thank you.

Titan is right.
You'll need a complete redesign.

How do we do that?

Uh, let me put you over to Comet.

First, we need to reengineer the aerodynamic
skeletal structure.

Got it. Let me put you on to Luna.

- Go ahead, Comet.
- Second, you'll need thrust.

Huh, we need at least 7.7 million pounds
of thrust ...

to reach the velocity to escape
the planet's gravity.

We'll never get that kind of thrust
without a two-stage rocket.

Can't be done.

Even if we could build a ship,
it never get of this planet.

If you can sh**t a chimp out of a cannon ...

you can also sh**t a ship
out of a volcano.

Of course. Geothermal energy.

We do not have much time.

Kilowatt, we're going to need some help
if we ever want to get home.

- Planet Malgor at your service.
- Let's chimp this ride.

I know I said I missed the pun,
but that was just unacceptable.

- Standing by, waiting for instructions.
- I need duct tape, and I need it now.

There, over there. Right.
That's good.

We have to move fast.

- Kilowatt, we will never forget you.
- I won't either.

Well, she won't win any beauty contest,
but sh'ell fly.

- Probably. - Maybe.
- Hopefully.

Let's not overanalyze it.

The suns are aligning, you must hurry.
The volcano is about to erupt.

Oh no, what about re-entry?

- You are going to need a nose cone.
- Nose Cone?

No time. How are we
going to build a nose cone?

Uh... Hello?

Mission control, the Infinity
is in the launch sh**t.

- Five seconds.
- I can't look.

- It is louder than a cannon
- I think I'm going to be sick.

We.. we stopped the Fresnar.
We're saved.

Time to go home.

Bye, bye.

I can see the headlines now:
'Commander Titan returns to earth. "

What will I wear?
I mean what goes with confetti?

- Approaching wormhole treshold.
- Here it comes.

- Take this.
- Huh? But I do not know how.

When we pass out, you've
got to pilot us home.

What are you nuts?
I'm no astronaut.

- Are you wearing aluminum clothes?
- Yes.

- Are you in a rocket?
- Yes.

- In outer space?
- Yes.

- Are you David Bowie?
- No.

Then you must be an astronaut.

Bring the bird home, hot shot.

I'm not cut out for this.

- Ham?
- Luna!

I believe in you.

Wait, Luna, no.
Uh, Titan. Titan?

Believe in yourself, Ham.

Grandpa Ham, I can not do this.
I'm not you.

Weel, of course you are not me.
You are you. You can do things, son.

Just do them your way.

That's them. They are out of the wormhole.

Infinity, welcome back.
Ham, do you read me?

The kids are sleeping.

Ham, you have to align your ship
for re-entry.

You coming in too hot. You've got to
reduce your angle for re-entry by 33 degrees.

Exactly 33 degrees.

Uh, kind of exactly.
Or exactly, exactly?

Exactly, exactly. If you don't nail that
re-entry window, you will be space dust.

- Now, engage the electrical power.
- Checked.

- Put the 'turbulence impetus' on.
- Checked.

Adjust the heat deflectors.
And enable gyroscopic stabilizer.

Help, I can't reach it.

Ham, you are pitching up.

Completely out of control.

- Hey, do you need a copilot?
- Lieutenant Luna.

Sure I do.

Mission Control, we're adjusting
our angle of 33 degrees.

- Yes.
- Oh, mercy.

We did it.
Gordo, we have visual.

And what about Commander Coma, should
we wake him up?

We don't need a third wheel
on our date.

- Luna, lower the landing gear.
- Checked.

Houston, our landing gear is toast.

Boy, I picked a bad week,
to quit eating bananas.

- What now?
- Don't worry, son.

Low technology solutions
are my specialty.

- Ham, you remember the circus?
- Ya.

- Good. You're going to crash.
- We're going to crash?

- But this time, stay on target.
- Roger that Houston.

Why are you smiling, if we're going to crash?

Because crashing is
what I do best.

Come out with your paws up.

Paws? They are chimps.
They have hands.

- With opposable thumbs.
- Come out with your thumbs up.

They don't understand English.

Kick it down.

- My rug.
- We all knew.

Everybody knew.

Everyone knew, when you wouln't go swimming
at the office party.

We go.

What was that?

I can not hold it.
We lost steering control.

Clutch.

- I said, clutch.
- You got it.

I never thought I'd be saying this,
but you got to crash this ship.

What are you doing?
No Luna, don't.

I see you on the ground.

Now we have closed the chapter,
on space travel ...

we have opened an amazing new chapter in
paint your own plate history.

Just a little bit... further.

Luna, you did it.
I got him through.

The national space program
is here by ...

Luna, get up.
You're okay right?

This can't be happenning.
Come on, Luna.

I stayed on target this time.

I was trying to be more
like you.

You are always ...

- Right?
- Yes, and you made me ...

- Better?
- Yes.

And if I should carry on without you ...

- You won't be.
- Luna.

But how did you survive?

Chin down.
Oposable thumb in.

Lieutenant Luna, you
crash with style.

Cannon ball, I was wrong about you.

You would have made your grandfather proud.

Thanks. I guess I'm just a chimp
of the old block.

That is a good one.
I have to use that line.

You've done that countries well hotshot.
I always knew you had it in you.

What can I say,
I am an enveloppe pusher.

Official space Commander shades.

And here is your banana berry back.

It was almost as good as
having you with us.

The Infinity?

- But how?
- Impossible.

This ship was not designed
to return.

- It isn't even a ship.
- It is a miracle.

A major scientific achievement.

But who has built it?

Maybe we might want to re-test our
space chimps I.Qs.

Are you impling that the chimps
built this ship?

We may never know
who has built it ...

but they are brought home.

Senator.

Were you wrong to shut
down the space agency?

I ...

Well I ... I'd like to announce the opening of
a hig tech area ...

devoted to the
exploration of deepest space.

With first class facilities for
the chimps, and ...

and with a make-or-own sundae bar.

And personalized pocket protectors
for everyone.

Did the chimps encountered
alien life?

We will have to launch another mission
to ever know for sure.

- Ready, Luna?
- Ready, Captain.

- Big fella?
- Born ready cannon ball.

Shreamers, I love them.

Youpi!