Ugly Duckling and Me!, The (2006)

[bunniefuu]

Eddie, 'the dumbest
mouse in the world'.

And his lovely wife Michelle,
'the mouse-eating python'...

Ratso Entertainment
proudly presents, Wesley

'The longest worm in the world'!

Waste of time!

B... but, guys, guys, come on!

Guys, just guys, guys please, please,
don't go there's so much more to see.

It's all rubbish.

- Nice show, Wes.
- That's it,

- I quit!
- What?! You can't quit now,

- that was your best show yet!
- They hated me! The act stinks.

I need a new manager.

But what about the carnival?!

My cousin Ernie's got
the whole thing set up!

This is the booking
we've been waiting for,

...fame and fortune are calling...

Raaaaaaaatsoo...
Wessssssssssssssly...

Come on buddy,
I can't do this on my own.

Huh!
Then find someone else.

Someone else?!
But you're the only friend I've got!

I've got news for you Ratso,
you don't have any friends.

You don't mean that,
you're just high on your own success!

- What are you doing?!
- Some day you'll thank me, buddy.

- Hello Ratso.
- Phyllis, what a surprise!

Did you honestly think
I wouldn't find you?

Honestly?
Yes.

C'mon Phyllis, nobody wants this!
I've got big plans...

let me have my life!

- Show's over, Ratso.
- Well...

...I guess there's
no point in running.

- None.
- What the heck.

Go get him boys!

- Get me out of here!
- Little busy!

- Mee ow!
- Ah-ah-s!

Ah-ah-ah-ah!

So long Phyllis!

Ah... ah-ah-ah!

Your life belongs to me Ratso.

And I'm gonna find you...
whatever it takes.

Ah, I wish you could see this,
Wesley, we're on our way.

You'll be sorry, Ratso!

I'll never work for you again -
and without me you're nothing!

That's right, Wesley.
We're on our way.

The carnival!

Yes! I'm the King of the World!

Huh? No! Wait!
Stop the train!

Ah-ah-ah-ah!

Aaahhhh... ooh ah, my neck.

Hey... wait a minute

...what did you do with the city?!

Forget the city,

I saw it Wes, I saw the carnival,
it was beautiful!

Don't you get it -
I'M NOT GOING!

B... but you've gotta go!

Do you mind?

I'll give you anything you want!

- You'll give me anything?
- Anything.

- What is your problem?!
- All I wants is a bit of respect...

- You've got it...
- What?!

Beat it kid!

Oh, and, eh some kind of wheels.

Oh boy.

Yeah, I'm thinking solid gold.
A-a-ah!

a-a-ah!

Ratso? Hello!
Ah come on, it stinks in here!

A-a-ah!

Wesley?

Okay, that's it,

you've messed with the wrong rat.

What!
Are you laughing in there?!

Okay, let's do this thing.

They're such a joy at this age.

Shut up! Now who are you and what
do you think you're doing with that egg?

I'm Ratso and...

and I've forgotten the second
half of your question.

Any-who, it's been a real pleasure...

...stay beautiful.
Taxi! Ow!

I seem to be having some trouble...

...finding the door.
- Once you're in the duck yard...

...there's no way out.
- But what if he's an egg thief?

Egg thief?! Me?
No, you've got it all wrong.

I'll be honest with you honey,
can I call you honey?

No!

Listen honey,
this isn't just any egg, it's...

...my egg!

- How could a rat lay an egg?!
- I didn't. My beautiful lady wife...

Frank... en... zilla.

Frankenzilla.

May she waddle forever
in the big duck yard in the sky.

Laid this egg moments before she...

before she...
I can't say it!

Why, why her?

Why didn't you take me?!

Her last wish was...

that our baby would be brought
up in the duck yard she was raised in...

the city is no place for a little one.
- Ha! You're not fooling anyone mister...

well... maybe the chickens,
but that's about it.

Do you really expect us
to believe that a rat...

the lowest, dirtiest,
most double crossing, selfish, nasty...

Okay, okay, we all know what a rat is.

...could possibly be
the father of an egg?

Besides, I don't remember
any 'Frankenzilla'.

Sure you do,
she had feathers and wings...

And a... em... beak...
On her head?

What was it she
used to say all the time?

- Oh yeah, 'quack'.
- I remember her.

You do?!

- Daphne?
- Yeah. Nice girl. Feathers, wings...

terrible taste in men. Hmm
- Oh yeah...

- I remember
- Uh...

- Ah!
- Ah!

I can't believe I hugged that thing.

Good grief...

that's the ugliest duckling
I've ever seen!

He's the father alright.

Now you run along Ugly,
they'll look after you here.

Mama

Don't touch me.

Shut up!

If this duckling is truly one of our own

he can stay in the duck yard...

ugly as he may be.
But he's your son and you must raise him.

You're right.

What sort of father would I be if I
refused to be a mother to my own son?

- Mama
- And you, call me Ratso.

'No way out'?

We'll see about that.
I gotta find Wesley.

They haven't made a duck yard
that can hold Ratso!

At least I don't think they have...

it's never really come up before.
- Mama...

Mama!

Right. Number one,

I don't want you calling me Mama
or anything else for that matter.

Number two - just stay out of my way
and everything will be fine.

Number...

What's wrong with your face?
You look uglier than usual.

What are you doing?!

What's wrong with you?!

What do you want from me?!

He wants you to be his father.

Oh, that's so sweet,
you're really good with him.

Would you like to keep him?

Bringing up a child on your
own isn't easy, and I should know.

Is this your way of telling
me you're single?

Why don't you take him.

- What's that?
- That? It's a hole... for baby.

Thought I'd make him a nice
hole to sleep in for the night.

There's an empty paint can by the coop.

...You could get some straw
and stay in that.

Even better!

- Good night.
- Good night.

Somebody likes me!

...and all the little pixie
children began to smile...

for each daughter was
prettier than the next...

...and the princess, with hair of
gold and feathers so fair,

went to find her true love...

So she says, 'But Ratso,
this is only our first date'!

And I'm like, 'listen sugar lips,

why wait for Christmas when
Santa's right here on the dance floor?'

Mama!

Ratso. My name is Ratso.
- Huh? Mama?

Ratso!
- Mama!

Say Ratso, damn it!
- Damn it!

Damn it!
Damn it!

A-a-a-ah!

Yes! I'm almost through!

This time tomorrow night I'll
be out of here

and on my way to the carnival!

What's a carnival?

Well... it's -
- Wow! Can I come?

No.

Of course you can come!

You really think
I'd leave you here?

Mama!
- Couldn't you at least call me Dad?

Now go play by the water's edge,

I've got some cleaning up to do.

Wow!?

Pretty beautiful, huh?

Ha! What would you
know about beauty, freak?

Yeah, stay away from our pond,
freak!

So long, freak!

Poor little fellow.
- Children can be so cruel.

Calling him a freak,
I mean really.

Well let's face it,
he is something of a freak

but that doesn't give
anyone the right to say so.

And it's hardly his fault
with a rat for a father.

Not that anyone believes
he really is his father.

He's a rat for goodness sake!

But that's nobody's business.

Dad?

I'm sorry, did we wake you?

Whoa! I just had the wildest dream!

What does it mean when
a penguin eats your hat?

Eeh... Is that stress?

There are certain members
of the duck yard...

...who've have had
enough of you and your boy

and this unsightly mess.
It's a monstrosity!

Eh actually...

it's... a mountain.
- A mountain?!

Yes.

We decided to build our own view.

Tomorrow we're making a lake.
- That's it!

I want this mess gone today!
- But we just finished digging our...

Digging your what?

Teeth... into the show!
Tonight was gonna to be the night!

What show?

Well why else would we
put a stage on our mountain?

Doesn't look like a stage to me.

We just thought,
'Hey, let's give something back!'

You know?
It's what showbiz folk do.

Our little way of saying thanks.

Oh I do like a good show!

All chickens do.
Can't we have just one little.

And the kid's got talent!

One and two and three and a...
and shake it!

Now that's hot! I can't stand it!
Whoa, you're k*lling me!

Ta-da!

Now that's what I'm talking about!

It's raw, but it's there!

- Oh, he's very talented.
- One show.

And then I want it gone.

Sunset tonight,
you won't regret this!

I'm watching you, rat.

Where is that rat?
- I can't see.

Where is he?

- Come On!
- Get on with it I've got eggs to lay.

We want the show.

- Tough yard.
- I'm not doing the show.

They'll hate me.
I'm no good at anything.

What are you talking about?

It's in your blood,
you're a natural just like your old man.

They say that...
that you're not really my father.

And you believed them?

You sure don't look like me.

I got a little beak...
little wings...

and I'm all feathery...
- Well not from the front!

You look like your
mother from the front.

Uhh?
- Like a duck.

I do?
- But from behind you've got my looks.

Really?

That's my boy. Now let's get out
there and show them our stuff.

Okay.

Hi!

I just thought,
since you didn't have anyone else

to wish you luck, that I might.

Good luck.
- Hey thanks. But we don't need luck.

I do.

Are you sure
this is a good idea?

You're so sweet to worry.
But don't. I'll be fine.

I was talking about Ugly.

Oh, him! Right.

What was the question again?

I just hope you know what you're doing.
- Come on Mom! Hurry up!

Good luck.

Finally
- Boo, boo, come on...

Ladies and...

Ladies.
Have we got a show for you tonight!

Brace yourselves for a night
of top class entertainment...

Whoa, I know that voice.

When I first met this
little guy he was nothing.

He couldn't sing, couldn't dance,
he couldn't even tell a joke.

Nobody would have paid
to come and see him.

But that's all changed now,
because tonight...

he's appearing for free!

What?

How come I've got stuck with the
most annoying brothers in the...

Well, well...
what do we have here?

I give you... Ugly!

No hard feelings kid.

Has he started yet?

Oh, get on with it.

The point is, I found it.

You didn't find it, you fell in it.
- Will you two shut up?!

Get off the stage!
- Boo, boo, you're rubbish!

That's one of Ratso's shows alright.

Stan, you stay here
and guard the tunnel.

Maybe he's already gone.

Impossible.
There's only one way out and Stan's -

Eh I got a question.

...guarding it.

If, at any time, I have to come
in here and ask you a question...

...then who guards the tunnel?

Free at last!

Wesley!
I'm back!

Where are you?

Ratso?
- Huh? Wesley?

Get movin' boys!
He can't have gotten far!

Aahhh, I knew you'd wait!
- Wait?

Do you have any idea how long
I have been in this bottle?!

Hurry up Stan,

You want him to get away?!

Doesn't she ever give up?

Let's hope she doesn't
know about the carnival.

I AM NOT GOING TO THE CARNIVAL!

What a freak!

That has to be the ugliest
duckling in the world.

'The ugliest duckling in the world'?

How could I have been so stupid?
He's perfect!

Him?!

Wesley, I'm sorry.

I've found another act,
you might as well just go home.

Huh?! That's what
I was trying to dooooooo!

This isn't going to be easy.

Okay, so it was easy.

You forgot me.
- Forgot you?

Don't be silly my little gold-mine,

I'd never forget you!
- Gold-mine?

I meant son.

Does this mean you're
taking me with you?

Step right up!
- Yeah!

I'm really not sure
if this is good for me.

Silence, worm!

I'm looking for Ratso
and you're going to tell me where he is.

He... he was going to a carnival!
I think he's bringing some kind of duck.

But between you and me love,

I don't think the
kid's got what it takes.

Which way?

They went that way.
- Let him go.

Could you at least point me in the
direction of the cityyyyyyyyyyy!

Look, Dad!

Do you see them?
Aren't they beautiful?

That's nothing!

You want to see beautiful, just wait
until you see the lights of the carnival.

You never told me, what's a carnival?
- What's a carnival?!

How can I put this...

it's only the greatest
place in the world!

Whoa!

And this, my bizarre looking little friend,
is a map to the carnival.

See? That's it right there.
We're, like, three inches away!

All we have to do is get there.
My cousin Ernie will do the rest,

he's very big in the biz.
- Your cousin would do that for us?

Wow, he sounds like a true friend.
- More of a pen pal than a friend.

You never met him?

I'm curious. Did I teach you to talk?
I don't remember teaching you to talk,

I don't remember anybody teaching
you to talk, and yet... you talk.

Those woods look kind of creepy.

You don't have to
be scared of the woods.

They can't hurt you.

It's the things that live in the
woods you should be worried about.

A-ah!

Okay, okay.

Look when you get scared all you
have to do have to do is cry out for help

and Ratso the Ruthless will...
- Help!

Aagh! Ssh!
No not like that like this

"help me", Ratso the Ruthless, Okay?
- Okay.

Dad, I've been thinking
about the carnival.

Are we really
going to be famous?

With your talent and
my greed we can't fail!

But what talent?
They just laughed at me.

Yes, but...

they never got to see you dance.

You've got a dancer's physique.
Just like your Mom.

My Mom was a dancer?
- Oh yeah, very light on her flippers.

I see a lot of her in you.
Now dance for me!

Eh... Now?
- Yes!

But but I can't!
- Dance!

This is gonna be huge.

Let's not wear ourselves out.

But you truly have a gift.
How many legs do you have?

Legs?
- How many?

Uh, two?
- Incredible!

I find it hard to believe that
someone with only two legs

could dance with such magnificence.

Just two? Are you sure?
Have you counted them recently?

Just two!

Help me...

That was close.
Let's get out of here.

But Dad she asked us to help her!
- No she didn't,

she said "Leave me..."

I can see how you were confused.
Ugly?

Here comes Ratso the Ruthless!
- Aagh! Oh no!

Run away, hurry!

Miss, don't take this wrong,

...I mean, I think you're a great
looking lady - a foxy vixen!

Okay, you're just the smallest bit...

I don't know...
chunky around the hips?

Not a lot!
But, you know, a little.

I was the same way and
you know how I lost it?

I completely cut out snacking.

If you don't eat us,
this could be you.

Please don't eat me!

You can't -
I'm a mother now!

Huh? Eewwwww!
I can't eat that!

You know, you wouldn't be the
first rat who made it onto my menu.

Eugh! You make me sick! Really!

So long, chunky!

P... Phy... Phyllis.

Hm, did I say something?
- No.

That's strange. Are you sure?
- Yes.

I didn't say something like...
'hey guys, why don't you take a break?'

No.

THEN WHY ARE YOU TAKING A BREAK?!

Can't we just go back to the
city and get someone else?

We've got to find him!
There is no one else!

The sooner we get to
the carnival the better.

Boy have I got some
stories for Ernie.

Would you mind if I built up the whole
me fighting the fox thing.

Maybe added a little sword fight.

What is it now, chuckles?

You didn't scare the fox away,
I did... with my ugly face.

True,

although I still think the sword
fight sounds better.

But we can work that out on the way.

I'm just an ugly freak.

But that's the point!
- 'That's the point'?

Of life!
That's the point of life!

If everybody was the same the world
would be a very boring place, right?

Anyway, you're not as different
as you might think.

Deep down, everybody's...
- Beautiful?

No, everybody's ugly.

You see, beautiful people spend all
their time trying to stay beautiful.

But beauty's a passing thing.

And by the time
they figure that out,

they've wasted their lives on
hand cream and early nights.

It's guys like you and me
that have all the fun.

I still don't get it.

Don't worry, it'll all
make sense when you grow up.

I can't wait until I'm a grown-up.
- Don't hold your breath, kid.

Growing up isn't something
that happens overnight.

Who are you!?
- I'm Ugly!

I can see that!

No, I mean it's me... Ugly.

Freaky! This is great!
I mean, you were ugly before, but now...

But now I think you've
really grown into yourself.

Really?
- Sure!

Well don't go on about it!

What was all that about?
- I don't know.

Well that's not annoying.
- I can't help it, I feel weird.

Not that you care!
- Now what?

You wouldn't understand.

Understand what?
- Exactly!

You've changed.
- Duh!

Interesting.

What if I was to ask
you to give me a hug?

You are soooo embarrassing!

I see.

And what if I told you
you weren't allowed

to fly until you were sixteen?

No way! You can't do that!
That is soooo unfair!

I think I know
what's wrong with you.

You... you do?
- Yeah,

I've seen this kind of thing before,
even happened to me once.

You've turned into a teenager.
This is all I need.

What's wrong with
being a teenager?

What's wrong with it?!
I'll tell you what's wrong with it,

first of all you're going to want
to have a mind of your own,

'Don't tell me
what to think, Dad!'

But Dad...
- Then...

...you'll lose all respect for me,
'Like, I'm ashamed of you old man.'

Now, you tell me,
how am I supposed to get

things done with you
acting up all the time?!

But...

Typical teenager!

Prime of your life and you
just lie around the place.

But Dad, I don't know
how to be a teenager.

It's easy.

Just speak funny, be rude to your parents
and fall in love with the first girl

who smiles at you.

Hi!

Huh?
- O-oy...

It's you?

Jesse.
And look who's all grown up.

Cut it out, sister.
- Boy I'm glad to see you guys,

I've been looking everywhere.
- I'll bet.

I didn't think I'd
ever catch up with you.

That fox banged me up pretty good
I think my wing is broken.

Does it hurt?

A little.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, back it up.

Geoff, right?
- Jesse.

Whatever. Nice to see you but
we've really got to be going.

But Dad...
- Let's go, Ugly.

I... I was wondering,

you see my family have already flown
south for the winter and well...

do you think I could tag
along with you two for a while?

Oh That would be great.
- Just until my wing gets better.

Not a chance.
Me and my boy work alone. Plus,

I have a no girls
on adventures policy.

It's just that I really don't fancy
my chances here in fox country.

You'd only slow us down.

Come on!
- M, m...

Okay.

I've thought about it and have decided
to let Geoff come along on a trial basis.

What are you waiting for?
Let's go!

Ha?!
Looks like the worm was right.

Ratso has found
himself a little friend.

So that's what that
blue line means.

It looked so cute on the map.

How are we ever going
to get across that?

Oh, It's easy. All we have to do is -
- Whoa! Whoa! I was talking to me.

You can tag along but
I'm calling the shots here.

But I...
- I can do this.

Fine!

Ha, It looks pretty thin.
- By the way...

the other thing about teenagers is,
they love adventure.

The more danger the better.

Oh no, we're not going out there.

There you go with that 'mind of your
own' thing again. you have to go first

I can't swim.

But we're heavier than you.
- Exactly.

If you make it I'll definitely be safe!
- In that case

...we're definitely not going.

You have to!
- Why!

...Well, well, because I'm the grown up
and I tell you to...

Why!

Because, because?!

Aaagh Okay, fine, I'll do it!

But I'm warning you, if anything happens
to me you'll be heartbroken.

Sending his own father out onto
an icy death trap

I'm really going
to do this you know!

Sure you are.
- Watch me!

Listen here young man...

I've had just about enough
of you carrying on,

and if I ask you to
do something in future,

you'd better just darn well do it!

A-ah...

A-a-a-ah! Ugly!
- Dad!

Ugly!
- Dad!

No Ugly, don't!

UGLY!

Dad!
Your head!

Dad?

Ugly! Ugly! Are you alright?
- Well...

...I guess so.

That was amazing!
- It... it was?

It was?

Are you kidding?!
First you save my life and now Ratso's!

It's not such a big deal...
I just...

You heard him, no big deal.

Listen Geoff, if that
even is your real name,

if your wing is really broken,
which it isn't,

...then how did you get across the river?
- I used the bridge.

I tried to tell you.

Eh. Excuse me.

Look!

It's nice that you let Jesse
rest while we get the wood.

Yeah, well...

...sometimes you have
to give women a little privacy,

otherwise they'll talk to you.

What do you think of Jesse?
- I wish the fox had eaten her.

I like her too.

How do you like your sling?
Is it okay?

It's perfect!

Listen Ugly... I don't want you
to say anything, just listen...

and no tears. I hate tears.

I've been doing a lot of thinking

and maybe I haven't
been the best Dad.

But I was getting used to the job.

I'm even starting to miss it
when it was just the two of us,

if you can believe that.

And I know you like this girl
and all and I don't blame you... much.

But we're a family now.

We got each other,
we don't need anybody else.

I'm sorry,
I don't even know why I'm...

Well go on then, I'm waiting.

I... I can't do it here,

I'd feel silly.
- If you can't dance in front of me

then how are you going to be able
to dance in front of an audience?

Well... okay here goes.

Yeah, come on, whoa.

You are too funny.

You're serious.

No wait,

I didn't mean to laugh!

I just wasn't expecting something so...
I just thought you would be less...

I think the word you're
looking for is 'ugly'.

nice going, Jesse.

So, how are you kids
this morning? Sleep well?

You couldn't be
happier, could you?

Whatever could you mean?
- You know exactly what I mean,

you've been trying to turn
Ugly against me since...

For his own good!

You're nothing but trouble!
- What?!

Let me see.

So far you've broken your wing,
his heart, and my blanket.

I broke his heart?!

You're the one who
told him he could dance.

What were you thinking?

He's going to look
like a freak up there!

- But you already know that, don't you?
- Look,

success is success,

do you really think that once he's got it
he's going to care where it came from?

How can you say that?!

You're all he's got...
he trusts you.

Well I never asked him to.

Come on Ugly, we're going!

But Dad!?

Don't go Ugly!
- Jesse!

Stay out of it, Geoff!
- Dad!

Don't poke me!
- I didn't.

AAHH! Why don't you both
just leave me alone!

Ugly, come back!

Stay away from me!
I can take care of myself!

Now look what you've done!

Ugly!

Easy there, Ugly.
- That hurt.

The carnival.
- That's right buddy,

we're going to the carnival.
- No, Ratso. The carnival!

UGLY! We did it!

Come on Ug! Let's roll!
- Oh...

Sing along with me now.

Ah, ha, ha, ha. Oh it's me lucky day.
- No it's mine!

Get out of me road!
- Give it to me!

No, no it's right.
No, no go on.

Hey fellas! You know where
I could find Ernie?

Who wants to know?

Yeah, but who are you?
- I'm Ratso, Ernie's cousin.

You're Ernie's cousin?

Yes.

Phyllis!
- Hello Ratso.

Happy to see me?

Of, course I've been
looking all over for you.

Sure you have!

Ratso?

That's far enough, bird.

Now, where were we...

Let's all just calm down
while I explain...

What's the matter,
Ratso, cat got your tongue?

Ph... Phyllis!

Hold on Ratso, I'm coming!
- Ugly, no!

Uhh...

Nice try.
- Oh great

Wha...
What's the matter too tubby?

Oh, they shouldn't laugh at him.
- Oh, they've got him mad now!

Yeah, I'm talking to you! Fatso

Fight fight fight!

Fight fight fight!

Ratso!

Come on Bird! FLY!

Come on you've got him now.
He can't get away.

Bad puss-puss!
Bad puss-puss!

Ratsooooooo!

Ratso?

What gives, Ernie?
Eat him!

William ssh!
- What!?

Ernie?

Cousin Ernie?
- Yeah!

Get closer!

Oh Ratso!
- Take it easy there big guy!

How can a rat be related to a cat?

Who cares? How are we going
to get to Ratso now?

Yeah ok, here we go!

Hmmm it's obvious.
- Ernie must have been adopted!

Not that!
We don't need to get to...

We don't need to get to...

Ah. This is nice.

It's been so long since
I've had family around

I thought I was going to go crazy.
Ask William, he'll tell you.

Tell him yourself, fatso.

William, please,
not in front of family.

"Ha! Family?!"

Are you sure we're related?
- It's obvious!

I'm furry, you're furry,
we've both got eyes...

...and we're both pretty.

Yeah!

If that's your cousin,
I'm your mother! William!

Ah, here we are.

Tonight we'll give them
a show they'll never forget.

Tonight?
- Oh yeah,

and not a moment too soon.
Ventriloquism isn't so popular any more.

We've had a really bad summer.
- And I wonder why... oh yes!

You're a no talent bum!
- William!

Anyway, the point is we really
need a new act.

Which reminds me,
what's your big act anyway?

My act! oh it's a...
well it's... a it's

it's...

it's...

it's me! I'm the show!

Ah... How nice!

Look guys, about the show...

...maybe
- I know what you're thinking -

"what to wear right?"
Don't worry, we'll fix you right up!

You don't think we'd send you out
on stage wearing that do you?

But... this is my fur.
- That's fur?!

You don't have to do this you know.
- What do you mean?

Can't you see he's using you?
- What do you care!

You're the one who laughed at me!
- Wake up Ugly,

do you really think he's putting
you on stage to dance?

Not everybody looks at me and
sees the monster that you do.

There it is!

Mmm. You see?
It's perfect.

Not to mention cat-proof.

Who are you and what are you
doing in my duck yard?

Frank?
- I'm on it!

That's settled then.

Stan, go and make
the arrangements.

I have business to attend to.

He ah!

Alright, Alright
I'm going, I'm going.

Good evening ladies and gentlemen,

he-gulls and she-gulls,
welcome to the show...

Can you believe how
big that audience is?

Pretty unbelievable.

I would have given up a long time
ago if it hadn't been for you.

Whatever happens here
I've got you to thank.

Listen Ugly, about the show...

Ha, ha, how do I look?

And have we got a show for you,

tell the people what they
want to hear, William!

Oh it's big, it's horrific,
it's hilarious and it's here!

And there's only one guy
we have to thank for that,

please welcome my very own cousin,

and I'm not going to lie to you -
he's pretty, Raaaaatso!

And a one and a two and a one...

You're up, Ratso -
the crowd is on fire!

You know, maybe...

...maybe you're not quite ready.

Ah don't worry about me, Dad,
it's in my blood remember?

You're a natural,
just like your old man

We've come a long way to be
here tonight and it wasn't easy.

Oh for heaven's sake
this is rubbish.

But it was fun.

Hey get on with it.

But now we're here
and we're ready.

He looks, with concern, up to
the covered sign above the stage.

The question is... are you?

I'm sorry... I just can't do it.

Ah come on!

Call that... an act?
it's a load of rubbish!

What's got into Ratso?
- He's ruining everything!

Ernie, I'm starting to panic!

Don't panic! Don't panic!
What are we going to do?!

Waste of time!

I can't feel my legs!
- I'm going on.

That has to be the ugliest
duckling in the world!

Ugliest duckling in the world!

Is that why you brought me here?
For people to laugh at me?

No!
- Jesse was right.

That's the only reason
you wanted me around.

Yes.

I guess I'm stupid and Ugly.

NO!

UGLY!
- Help!

UGLY!

UGLY!

If you ever want to see
your freaky friend again,

Ratso, you'll find us at the duck yard.

Your crazy cat can't help you there!
- 'Crazy'?!

cheering Marvelous! Ah brilliant!

Do try to keep the place tidy.
We're expecting a very important guest.

You'll be waiting a long time

if you expect that rat to
come to anyone's rescue...

He is the lowest, dirtiest,
most double-crossing,

selfish, nasty rat in the world.

Mam, step right up!
- Yeah!

Yeeee-ha!

Giddy up, giddy up!

Ernie?

Just go ahead, I'll catch up with you
- OK Ernie

Forget it Ern', this place is built to
keep out cats. Come up for air.

Never! I've got to keep trying...
plus my head's stuck.

Oi Rat! Hello!
- Help us!

Come on we'll have to swim for it.
- I can't do it,

I'm afraid of the water.
- What?!

All cats are!

Wait a second, I'm not a cat.

Jump on!
- William, you're a genius!

Hurry!
- It's stuck!

Well it's about time.

Let him go, Phyllis!

I really don't think you're
in any position to give orders -

have you met my family?

I'm Sorry.

That's my boy!
- Ernie!

Am I happy to see you!

Well shave my legs
and call me princess,

it looks like we've
got ourselves a fight!

Attack!

Come on, put em up! put em up!
I'll take a piece of you!

Yes!
- Oh No!

Ern!

Yes!
- No!

Ernie old boy talk to me.

Hey Ernie.
Somebody call a vet!

What can you see?
- It's not good.

I guess by tomorrow it'll
all be over for me.

There's, there's something
I have to tell you.

It's not important.

You came back for me,
that's all that matters, Dad.

Yes.
Well, you see, that's the thing.

I don't know how to tell you this,

but as your father I
thinks it's my duty...

I'm not your father.

You knew?

I'm not sure.
But it didn't seem to matter.

You were a father to me.

And if this is going to be our
last night together,

I don't want to
waste a second of it.

Talk to me, Ratso.

It's time.

Dead rat walking!

Dad...

On your knees
- Don't be nervous, Ratso,

it'll all be over
before you know it.

No, wait, I'm too young!

Or what the?
Isn't it beautiful?!

It's Ugly!
- Oh, there's no pleasing some people.

Wait!

Stop the execution!

Execution?
This isn't an execution.

Uh! Ratso... you're getting married?!

Ugly?! You're a swan?!
- I'm a swan!

Would someone like to tell
me what's going on here?

I don't think I can.

I don't think I want to.
- I'll tell you what's going on!

This sorry excuse for a rat, ran away
a year ago, in the middle of our wedding!

What?
- It was supposed to be my special day.

She forced me into it!

She never loved me!

Is this true?
- Of course it's true!

How could anyone
possibly love that!

Unfortunately, that was the last single,
no strings attached, rat in the city!

But why would you want to marry
someone you don't love?

Oh, shut up!

There's more to marriage than love!

There's the ring!

There's the cake! There's the flowers!
And there's gifts! Millions of gifts!

Now... MAKE ME MARRIED!
- Don't do it, Dad!

Whoa, whoa, whoa whoa!

I'm sorry, did you say 'Dad'?
- Uh-huh.

You've got kids?!
- I know, I'm so lucky.

And would you believe
I have no idea who the mother is?

SINGLE - MALE - NO -
STRINGS - ATTACHED!

Daphne?!
- Ratso!

Dad?
Are you okay?

It's time to come home,

time to join your own kind.

Home?
- Your place is with us now.

But... I can't just leave.
I'm not like you, I'm... different.

It matters not that you
were born in a duck yard...

...not when you have
lain in a swan's egg.

Goodbye Dad.

Goodbye... son.

Me... a swan.

It's like a fairy tale.
- You'll soon forget all about them.

But what if I don't want to forget?
- Ha...

You don't seem to understand.

You are a swan.
Graceful, strong and beautiful.

Some things are more
important than beauty.

True.

But until they're discovered,
you should come with us.

What about love?

Love?!
- Hmm. Thanks guys, but I've got to go.

Eh? Ugly you're back!
- The swans were right,

...it's time for me to be
with my own kind.

I mean you guys.

This is great!

A little cheesy.
But this is great!

Can I give you some fatherly advice?
- Sure.

A wedding is possibly the greatest
place ever to meet a girl.

So what are you
doing talking to me?

Am I to understand that this
thing's already been paid for?

You came for a party, right!
- Yes!

Well what are we waiting for?
Lets party!