♪ The Proud family
♪ The Proud family
♪ Family, family, family ♪
(BUBBLING)
(LOW GRUMBLE)
(FISH CHATTER)
(CREATURE GROWLS)
(ROARS)
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
(DR. CARVER II
LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
Ooh! Uh!
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
(CONTINUES
LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
Dr. Carver,
preparations are complete.
Ha ha ha ha.
Excellent, Cashew.
Let the experiment
commence at once.
Uh, Doctor?
Your nose...
What? Do I have a booger?
Uh... No.
You just kinda
got it...
Can... can you fix that?
(SQUEAK)
Now, then... Heh heh.
Operate the genome generator!
(POWER SURGING)
(ELECTRICITY BUZZES)
(BUZZING)
(DINGS)
And now, a teeny drop
of stabilizing formula.
(SIZZLING)
Ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha!
(RUMBLING)
(ROARS)
Heh, heh. I've done it!
I've turned a common
unsalted peanut
into a ragin'
supergenome warrior!
(LAUGHING)
(ROARS)
(GROANING)
No! It's disintegratin'!
The combination
of my years of research
is disintegratin'!
How can this be?
Perhaps it's too evil.
No, no.
It's supposed to be evil!
It must be
the stabilizing formula.
If only...
I could perfect...
The stabilizin' formula.
(HISSING)
(YELLS)
Curses!
(ALARM BUZZING)
Uh-oh.
Look out!
(BOOM)
♪ Blowin' up, blowin' up,
Blowin' up, blowin' up
♪ Blowin' up, blowin' up,
Blowin' up
♪ Y'all know who I am... ♪
BIG BOY ON RADIO:
Yo, what up, everybody?
It's Big Boy
on Wizard Kelly Radio.
That right there
was the world premiere
of 15 Cent's new joint
Blowin' Up the Spot.
(GIRLS GIGGLING)
Don't forget, girls,
if you want to be one of
15's Spare Change Dancers,
he's holding auditions today.
(GIRLS SHRIEKING)
All lucky finalists
will get a chance
to join my man Mr. 1-5
all the way live onstage
at this week's Extreme
Stuffball Championship
Halftime Extravaganza.
You know what?
That track was
so mellow and so nice,
we gotta go ahead
and bang it twice.
(GIRLS ALL TALKING AT ONCE)
(TIRES SCREECHING)
Ooh, girl, 15 Cent's
new joint
is off the hook!
I can't wait
for those dance auditions.
(GIGGLES) Me neither.
I've been practicing
my Beyonce dance
all week.
♪ Hey ♪
(HORN HONKS)
I just hope I can learn
all the steps.
Hey, guys, am I popping,
or am I lucky?
(CAR HORN HONKING)
Look out!
(CHILDREN SCREAMING)
(TIRES SCREECH)
Ladies...
Proud, knowing your dad,
I bet he won't even let you go
to the dance auditions.
Uh, ladies.
(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)
For your information,
LaCienega,
I'm turnin' 16 tomorrow,
and according to
the US Constitution,
the Bill of Rights,
and Conjunction Junction,
I'm officially mature enough
to make my own decisions.
Thank you.
(ALL SCREAMING)
Pipe down, you future
crash test dummies!
(CLEARS THROAT) Now, then,
let us continue
with drivers' education.
Penny, hands at 10 and 2.
If we become
the Spare Change Dancers,
we can roll with 15
on his yacht.
Check it out, y'all!
(GIRLS SHRIEK)
(TIRES SCREECH)
(GIRLS ALL TALKING AT ONCE)
Keep your dadblast eyes
on the road!
(GIRLS SCREAMING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
PENNY: Yay!
Oh, look, Miss Hightower,
I knocked over
all the cones!
Yeah!
(GROANS)
Uh... You're supposed to
knock over all the cones...
Right?
PENNY: Daddy, can I?
OSCAR: No way!
But... How can you...
Keep dreamin'.
Not gonna happen.
Daddy!
No daughter of mine
is gonna be a backup dancer
for some half-pint
hip-hop hooligan!
I see those girls
dancin' in videos,
talkin' 'bout some...
(LAUGHING)
Check out the back end!
Daddy, nobody dances
like that anymore.
That girl
on Soul Train does,
and she's as old as Suga Mama.
(GIRLS CHANTING ON TV)
Ow!
This isn't fair!
All my friends
are gonna be there.
Mama!
TRUDY: Oscar,
Penny is getting older.
Don't you think
she's mature enough
to make her own decisions now?
Yes. Whatever.
♪ But the other's like,
Sure he's hard
♪ They called
My security guard
♪ SUV with sweet hydros
♪ Iced out watch
With 8 time zones
♪ New pair of shoes... ♪
(LAUGHING)
I think 15 Cent
is pretty fly.
Got the looks, the talent,
ooh, just like a certain son
of mine.
Oh, Mama, thank you!
Oh, get off me, boy!
I was talking about Bobby.
♪ Ow
♪ Here you go, Mama,
Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪
Mama, what are you doin'
with all this stuff?
Sweepstakes.
Ooh, me and Puff,
we feelin' real lucky.
You know, you can win
all kinds of prizes.
A car, a house,
a cruise to Alaska.
You mean they'll put you
on a cruise to Alaska?
Hey, I'll chip in for that.
Loan me a 10-spot, Trudy.
Then I'll hire somebody
to punch a hole in the boat.
Ow!
Mama, have you seen
my miniskirt?
Top drawer, left side.
And there better be
plenty of skirt
in that miniskirt, young lady!
PENNY: Okay.
Why does that girl
have to stress me out today?
I've got an important showcase
for my latest snack invention.
(LAUGHS)
The Porknut!
Combining the nutrition
and flavor of pork
with the protein
and crunch of a peanut.
It's a wholesome
snack alternative
guaranteed to improve
your health...
And increase my wealth!
I've even cooked up
a special dippin' sauce,
And I got Bobby
workin' on a catchy jingle.
♪ Porknuts
♪ They're half pork,
Half nut, chile
♪ But all good
♪ And it taste like
Whoa, yeah ♪
Check it out, y'all.
OSCAR: What in the...
Trudy, why is your daughter
dressed like a... like a h*...
A wholesome teenager?
Oscar, I think Penny looks
very fashionable.
It's what the kids
wear nowadays.
(LAUGHING)
Not my kids!
Do you see Bebe
and Cece dressed like that?
(BABBLING)
(GIGGLING)
Oh, I can't wait
till I grow up
and move out of here
so I can do whatever I want!
You wait. If anyone's
movin' out of here
and doin' whatever they want,
it'll be me!
(DOOR SLAMS)
Hey, of course
I would bring you
with me, honey.
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
Uh-huh.
OSCAR: Windsor's Academy
for Snack Technology
and Education!
(LAUGHS)
It's the big time, Bobby.
Do you know what it means
to get into WASTE?
That means you'll stink.
It means the name
Oscar Proud
will go down in history
alongside the great
snack innovators of all time.
Danny Dorito, Freddy Frito,
Polly Pringle.
You ever heard of them?
Uh... uh... uh... No.
That's 'cause none of them
were ever members.
(LAUGHS)
DR. CARVER II:
Hiya! Go!
Ha ha ha ha.
♪ My name is Carver,
Y'all ♪
Ha ha ha ha
ha ha ha ha.
Thank you.
(CHUCKLING)
(BOARD MEMBER CLEARS THROAT)
Jumping...
Peanuts?
Dr. Carver?
Artificially intelligent
jumpin' peanuts.
Imagine the possibilities.
Hmm. As you know, Doctor...
In order to gain acceptance
into the academy...
A candidate must demonstrate
exceptional innovations
in the...
Field of snack technology.
BOARD MEMBER 2: I'm sure
you've heard of
pudding in a cup.
I thought of the cup.
(EXCITED CHATTER)
Very nice invention.
The cup? Oh, that was you.
You'd better recognize.
Well, you see, the problem
with your research is...
It's always about...
Peanuts.
Peanuts are played out.
Done.
They're passe.
How can you say that?
I'm afraid we're going to
have to deny
your membership...
ALL: Again.
Let's go, boys.
You will regret
this decision!
Trust me, gentlemen,
the time is coming
when peanutkind will finally
get the respect
they deserve!
(NERVOUS LAUGH)
If the board accepts me,
I'll finally be recognized
for my important contributions
to snackology.
Whoa!
(CRASH)
Man, would you watch out!
You fool!
Party people,
make some noise!
Here comes Oscar Proud,
inventor of...
The new and improved...
Porknut!
Half pork and half nut.
♪ But it's all, all,
All, all, all, all, all
♪ Well, it's good ♪
And behold!
My special Kicking Donkey
Dipping Sauce.
Not only does it add
a potent, zesty flavor,
but it locks in the potent,
nutty freshness, too.
That way you never
have to worry about
an expiration date.
I just add a teeny-weeny
drop of this,
and...
(PORKNUT HISSING)
(PORKNUT GURGLING)
Huh?
Look out!
(RUMBLING)
Okay, did I say
"dippin' sauce"?
I meant to say, uh, uh...
Behold.
My instant, everlastin'
Porknut multiplyin' formula.
♪ Instant, everla... ♪
What was that last part?
Just roll with it, Bobby.
So, what do you think?
(GAGGING)
Membership denied!
Get him out of here!
Wait, wait. Didn't you hear
what I said?
They're everlastin'!
There's no expiration date.
These porknuts never go bad.
Proud, they never go good!
See that, boys?
An everlastin'
multiplyin' formula.
Perhaps that's what
we've been looking for.
(GIGGLES)
OSCAR: (LOUDLY)
But, Trudy...
TRUDY: Oscar, quiet down.
You'll wake the twins.
(SNORING)
Penny, that you?
Suga Mama.
I'm... Uh...
Taking Puff for a walk.
Good Puff.
(PUFF WHINES)
Okay, baby. Have fun.
(SNORING)
Come on, Denzel,
give Suga Mama some sugar.
(MUFFLED WHINE)
GIRL: Oh, my gosh,
I cannot wait for this.
All right, you juvenile J-Los,
(GIRLS ALL TALKING)
if you think you got
what it takes to become...
Hey... I'm talkin'!
(SILENCE)
Now, if you think
you got what it takes
to become
a Spare Change Dancer,
then pay close attention,
'cause I'm only gonna
do this one time.
Cue music.
And work it!
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
(MUSIC STOPS)
Can you do that
one more time?
Here we go.
Cue music and...
(MUSIC PLAYING)
Work it!
(CHILDREN MUTTERING)
Cut! Cut! Cut!
You can't do this.
You can't do this.
You can't do this...
Oh, no. She's gonna
point to me!
Zoey, relax.
You can't do this...
Just be like a butterfly.
And you can't do this.
Dismissed.
Aw, man!
And I was just about
to get krunk!
Wait, you can't dismiss her.
I mean, sure,
she dances like
a scarecrow,
but she's a...
Dedicated, hard-working
scarecrow.
Doesn't that count
for anything?
Oh...You're right.
She can stay.
Yeah!
And you can go home,
Miss Thang.
PENNY: What?
(CHILDREN ALL GROAN)
Me?
That's not fair!
I'm the best dancer here.
Get out the way, boy!
Security comin' through.
The Gross Sisters?
What are you guys doing here?
We security, fool.
15 hired us
to bounce any clowns
that stepped out of line.
So, let's go, Proud. Step!
Forget it, Nubia.
You can't tell me what to do.
What? You tryin' to test me?
Olei, handle Miss Forehead.
(GROWLS)
15 CENT:
A'ight, what seem to be
the problem?
PENNY:
Girl, that's 15 Cent!
(GIRLS SHRIEKING)
NUBIA: I don't know what
y'all screamin' for.
Ain't no problem, 15.
Me and my girls are just about
to take out the trash.
Start movin', Proud,
and bring your friends.
15 CENT: A'ight, no.
For real, though.
A'ight, hold up.
Come on, Sticky.
Sticky, you didn't tell me
you were tight
with 15 Cent.
Yeah.
He's my cousin.
He is?
I guess that makes him
my cousin-in-law. Hey!
Aw, back off me, Dijonay!
Ha ha. So, what's
your name? Shout it.
Dijonay Jones.
Your cousin-in-law.
Not you.
Hi. My name is...
Uh.
I'm talkin' to you...
With the ponytails. Heh.
Me? I'm Penny Proud.
And my friends and I
have been bustin' our butts
to join
the Spare Change Dancers,
but this Debbie Allen wannabe
keeps hatin' on everybody.
Please. 15,
she can't dance.
Then teach her,
Miss Choreographer,
or you're dismissed.
Oh, snap!
I guess I can do this,
Miss Thang!
(LAUGHING)
(CHEERING)
(15 CENT LAUGHING)
I like your attitude,
Penny Proud...
with your ponytails.
And I would be proud
to have you dance with me
at that, uh,
Stuffball Halftime thing.
(GIRLS ALL SHRIEKING)
Come on. Hold up!
I don't know what
y'all screamin' about.
15 didn't say
you were in.
Please, 15?
I can't be in your crew
unless my girls are with me.
Lookin' out
for your homies, huh?
I like that.
A'ight, they in.
(GIRLS SCREAMING)
Under one condition.
You let me
drive you home, Ponytail.
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
Okay, this is the last stop.
Sticky, you and your girl
gotta get up outta here.
Man, I'm not goin'
anywhere with her.
And I'm not
goin' anywhere
without my man.
All right, then.
Ponytail,
hit that button right there.
(BEEP)
DIJONAY: (SHOUTING)
I'll see you tomorrow,
Penny!
(LAUGHING)
That's one of
the best features
in my brinks.
(MUSIC PLAYING SOFTLY)
Ooh, I like this song.
Ha. Yeah. I like to drop
a little slow jam
every now and then.
(VOCALIST SINGING
INDISTINCTLY)
So, uh, this
your house, right?
Look, I know what you doin'.
Tryin' to get me all alone.
But you can stop
right there, player.
I read every issue
of Dreamy Teen magazine,
and I know all about
your little rep.
So, if you think
you gonna get a kiss
on the first date,
I'm-a just tell you
straight up...
It ain't gonna happen.
Oh, the stuff
in those magazines
is all made up.
It is?
Yep.
Remember that
picture of me
and Christina Aguilera?
Besides, if I'm late
for my curfew,
my moms'll go off.
Wait a minute.
(CAR STARTS)
You mean...
It ain't gonna happen?
Nah. Seriously,
it's gettin' late,
and I gotta return
my grandmama car.
(DIALING)
Your grandmama's
gonna have to wait.
Come here, boy.
(CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
(MUFFLED MUSIC FROM CAR)
What?
♪ ...a year ♪
(KISSING)
Penny!
(ECHOING)
This time you've gone
too far, Penny Proud.
Not only are you
forbidden from dancing
in the halftime show,
you're grounded...
indefinitely!
Indefinitely?
What about
my birthday party?
Canceled!
In fact, your whole birthday
is canceled!
And until you learn
to show some respect,
you're not even allowed
to turn 16!
Oscar, isn't that
a little unreasonable?
I wish you weren't
my daddy.
What did you say?
I said I wish
you weren't my daddy!
Well, right now I wish
you weren't my daughter!
PENNY: Aah!
Trudy, where did this girl
learn how to
sass me like that?
Boy, will you shut up?
I'm tryin' to concentrate
on my sweepstakes.
Come on, Lady Luck.
I can't believe that girl.
It's like I don't
even know her anymore.
I even picked up
a special birthday present
for her and everything.
Honey, let me talk to her.
(EASY RHYTHM PLAYING)
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
Go away!
I come in peace.
(PENNY GROANS)
Here. I thought you might
like to see this.
Ooh... What is it?
A special birthday present...
from your father.
Ugh! No, thank you.
Oh, Penny, baby,
your father loves you
and only wants the best
for you.
Even if he has
a funny way
of showing it sometimes.
What's funny?
Canceling my birthday?
Embarrassing me
in front of my friends?
Never letting me
do what I want?
Oh, yeah,
dad's a real comedian.
Ha ha.
(CAR ENGINE RUMBLING)
DR. CARVER II: Step one,
detain Oscar Proud.
Step two, procure
everlastin' formula.
Step three, create army
of genome warriors,
then take over the world.
Ha ha ha!
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Congratulations.
I'm very sorry,
my parents aren't home
right now.
Good night.
(DOORBELL RINGS REPEATEDLY)
(BANGING ON DOOR)
Oh, you've got it
all wrong, Mr. Proud.
Congratulations!
You're the winner
of this month's
grand prize.
Grand prize?
Whoo! Ha ha ha!
Told ya!
Yeah!
Now... now,
what do I get?
The house? The car?
What?
The deluxe island vacation.
Pack your bags.
The boat leaves
in the morning.
SUGA MAMA:
Heh heh heh!
Holler at your grandma.
I'm off to the islands.
Come on, Puff.
But wait!
The prize is for
a deluxe island
family vacation.
A vacation with my family?
Okay, punishment,
I can take,
but that's just
cruel and unusual.
I'm not going.
I'm not goin' neither!
I've seen how much
they charge
for those snacks
in the minibar.
Yeah. And you said
this was the grand prize.
A vacation with my son
is more like
the booby prize.
For once, I agree
with you, Mama.
Take her away, stranger.
Quick, Trudy, let's pack
up the house and move
before she comes back.
Now, wait a minute.
I think
a vacation together
could be just what
this family needs.
Excuse me, sir,
where did you say
we were going again?
Legume island.
Legume island.
I've never heard of it.
Is it nice and relaxing?
Oh, it's to die for.
(SINISTER CACKLE)
Fantastic!
We're all going.
But, Trudy...
But, Trudy...
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got some
swimsuit shopping to do.
(LAUGHING)
Congratulations!
(LAUGHING)
TRUDY: Isn't this fun, family?
The smell of the ocean...
The wind in our hair.
(SUGA MAMA WHOOPING)
I feel like Bessie Coleman.
Oscar, you gotta
try this one here.
It's off the hook!
(SUGA MAMA WHOOPING)
(WHIMPERING)
No way, Mama.
You know I don't
like heights.
Besides, if man
was supposed to fly,
he would've been born
with dragon wings
and a tail like you.
(SEAGULL SQUAWKS)
Ha ha!
(SQUAWKING)
OSCAR: Mama!
Excuse me, sir,
how much longer
until we get
to this stupid place?
Legume Island dead ahead!
(SINISTER LAUGH)
(CALYPSO MUSIC PLAYING)
(GROWLING)
(CHATTERING)
(CHATTERING)
(GROWLING)
How do? How do?
Brother kinda
funny lookin', ain't he?
I mean, look at the size
of his melon.
Look like Jermaine Dupri.
Don't be so
insensitive, Oscar.
He must be an island native.
How do?
Welcome to Legume Island.
My name is Cashew.
Follow me. I will
show you to your quarters.
Ah, here we are.
I hope you will find
everything you need
for a comfortable stay.
Here's the keys
to the minibar,
and the jacuzzi's in the back.
A jacuzzi?
Baby, that's where
I'm gonna be
until my skin gets
all wrinkly!
Too late for that,
Mama. Yeah!
Ow!
Ahem. The owner
of Legume Island
has invited you all
to join him
at this evening's luau.
You will find your
traditional island attire
in the closet.
A luau!
Oh, Penny! I'll bet
there will be
lots of singing and dancing.
Ooh, and eligible bachelors!
Singing and dancing
with Mom and Dad...
Finding a date
for my grandma?
Oh, yeah, this is
the best birthday ever!
Not!
Aah! What country
does this flag represent?
It represents my fist!
Now, gimme those!
It's my suitcase, you nitwit!
Mom, can I have
some of these peanuts
from the minibar?
I'm hungry.
(STUTTERS)
That stuff cost a fortune!
Here. Have some porknuts.
They're filling,
and they're delicious.
Mmm.
(RETCHING)
Oh, look, look,
look, look!
Our traditional island attire.
Uh-uh. No way.
I am not wearing this!
I can't believe
I'm wearing this.
(DRUM BEAT PLAYING)
Ladies and gentlemen,
your host
Dr. Marcus Garvey Carver II.
(PLAYING ORGAN)
(APPLAUSE)
Thank you.
And welcome
to the Legume Room.
I see
all the beautiful people
are here tonight.
(GIGGLES)
Hmm. That cat
looks familiar.
Do we know him?
Well, I'm gonna
get to know him.
(WHOOPS)
SUGA MAMA:
And he'll get
a rare shot at the hairdo!
Oh, Suga Mama,
you better cut it out.
You know you
already have a man.
What about Papi?
Papi don't own
no island, girl.
(LAUGHS)
And now it's my pleasure
to present to you
those high kickers of chaos,
those dangerous dancers
of the boom boom.
Put your hands together
for the Legume Island
Coconut Crew Revue.
♪ Ooh, ahh, ooh, ahh
MAN: (JAMAICAN ACCENT)
Welcome! Yeah,
come on down.
Come on. Come on.
Get up off your feet.
Let's go.
Everybody, now!
♪ Light up the tiki torches
Yeah.
♪ Kick off your socks
and shoes
♪ Throw out your threads
♪ Lay down your dress, man
♪ What have you got to lose?
♪ Accept this invitation
♪ Change your state of mind
(GIGGLING)
♪ We gonna wiggle,
We gonna jiggle
♪ Gonna laugh a little
In the limbo line
♪ Ooh! Look out, now
♪ Ooh! Watch it, now
♪ Come on, watch it,
Boom boom boom
♪ Welcome to the Legume Room
♪ No problems
♪ No worries
♪ Everything's all right
♪ Everyone go
Boom boom boom
♪ Under the island moon
♪ Make the perfect sacrifice
♪ Shake, shake, shake
♪ Shake your booty
In paradise
♪ Get up
Get off your you know what
♪ Stand up
Time to take a chance
♪ Mix and mingle
The local nuts, yeah
♪ In an elated dance
♪ Come on, join the party
Get up, move your feet
♪ Uh-huh
Feel the rhythm
♪ Of the steel drum beat
♪ Shake your booty
With a big ol' bowl of fruity
♪ On your head,
Like it soft and sweet?
(LAUGHING)
♪ It's getting kinda crazy
♪ Hey, boom, boom, boom
♪ Welcome to the Legume Room
♪ No problems
♪ No worries
♪ Everything is all right
♪ Everyone go boom,
Boom, boom
♪ Under the island moon
♪ Everything is cool
and nice ♪
Not quite.
♪ Even though
It's twice the price
You'll pay!
♪ Make the perfect sacrifice
♪ Shake your booty
In paradise ♪
(YELPS)
Yeah, man!
(APPLAUSE)
Oh, Penny, don't you
just love this
tropical music?
Whatever.
Well, I'll bet
you'll love this tune.
(SINGING)
♪ Happy, happy birthday
♪ Happy birthday
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
Make a wish, sweetie.
I wish...
I wish I could dance
in the halftime show
with 15 Cent.
Please, Daddy?
Forget it.
Wish again.
(BEBE, CECE GIGGLING)
Then I wish I was
away from you
and this stupid island!
And kissing 15 Cent!
TRUDY: Oh, Penny...
What's cookin', good lookin'?
Uh, the word bacon
comes to mind.
Um, Ms. Proud,
the traditional
island attire
suits you well.
One could say
you put the "moo"
into muumuu.
(COWS MOOING)
I think he likes me.
Mr. Proud, perhaps
I can interest you
in a private tour
of my estate.
Absolutely!
You know, you look
real familiar to me.
Have we met?
I don't think we have.
No, I'm sure
I've seen you somewhere.
And your face...
you were singin'
and dancin' and...
And you was actin'
and rappin'.
I got it. You were
in Breakin' 2:
Electric Boogaloo.
You boogaloo shrimp!
No, no, no.
How 'bout Beat Street?
Beat Street.
King of the street.
(GROWLS)
I wish I could drive.
I wish I could stay up
all night.
Oh, and I wish
that grass skirt
didn't give me this rash.
(BUSHES RUSTLING)
Who's there?
Don't mess with me, y'all!
Huh?
How do?
Cashew, you scared me!
I was just checking
to see if you were okay.
You seem upset.
Yeah.
It's a long story.
Well, if you want to tell it,
I'm all ears.
Actually, I'm all head,
but, heh, you know
what I mean.
Well, it all started
on my third birthday.
Daddy didn't want
to pay for a clown.
He's so cheap sometimes.
So he dressed up
in Suga Mama's
nightgown...
So embarrassed...
And when I turned 4,
Mom hired Thingy
for my birthday.
Thingy and Daddy
got into an argument,
and then Thingy
dropkicked Daddy.
Now, today's
my 16th birthday.
It's supposed to be
the best day
of my life, right?
Right. But my dad said
I couldn't audition
to be a Spare Change Dancer,
even though all
my friends could.
So, I snuck out
and went anyway
and got busted
kissin' 15 Cent,
so my parents
canceled my birthday party
and dragged me on this trip,
and now my big day
is ruined
because my dad keeps
treatin' me like a baby!
(YAWNS)
Well, that really is
a long story.
You know what it is, Cashew?
Sometimes... I just wish
I had different parents.
I think you're lucky.
I wish I had parents.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm goin' on and on
about my problems,
and I didn't even
realize that...
It's okay.
Here on the island,
we're kinda like
one big nutty family.
But there's times
when I wonder
what it would be like
to have a real mom and dad.
Well, I'll tell you what.
If you ever wanna wear
a burgundy sweater and skirt
for the rest of your life,
you can try
having my parents.
Hey, nice crib, Doc.
Well, thank you.
Care for a pistachio?
(DR. CARVER LAUGHS)
You're my kind of man,
Mr. Proud.
We're like two intellectual
peas in a pod.
Two nuts in the same shell.
You see, like yours,
my genius
has never received
its proper recognition.
In fact,
I've been working
on a revolutionary
new concept...
friendly humanoid peanuts.
It will attend
to our every need.
Just think
of the possibilities,
Mr. Proud.
They could care
for the elderly.
Look after our children.
Take over the world!
I mean, make over
the squirrels.
(CHUCKLES)
I see the future,
Mr. Proud,
and it's nuts.
Ah, but the prototypes
aren't turning out
as I had hoped.
They won't stabilize.
It's like I need a...
Oh, I don't know,
instant everlasting
multiplying formula
or something.
Stop playing.
I've created
an instant everlasting
multiplying formula.
Maybe we could be partners.
As Suga Mama always told me,
two geniuses are better
than one halfwit.
Partners?
Sounds intriguing,
but I don't know
if I could offer you much
for your expertise.
Maybe only...
$10 million?
(STUTTERING)
Ten million dollars.
(OSCAR YELLING)
Ahem. I mean,
that's a rather
intriguing offer.
I'll have to discuss it
with my wife.
(CHUCKLES)
Excellent!
Then I can expect
your answer
in the morning?
That's right.
(OSCAR LAUGHING EXCITEDLY)
OSCAR: Trudy! Trudy!
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
Oh, Romeo Pistachio,
come back! Come back!
Today's forecast calls
for dry and roasted.
(CHANNELS CHANGING)
This local cable
station stinks.
Puff, how about a dip
in the jacuzzi?
OSCAR: Trudy!
We're gonna be rich!
We're gonna be rich, baby.
Oscar...
Dr. Carver
offered me
$10 million
to be his partner.
Ten million dollars?
What kind of jungle punch
did you drink at the luau?
(LAUGHS)
Penny, where have you been?
It's well past your curfew,
young lady.
Relax, Mom.
I was just hanging out
with Cashew.
What? You know
what I told you about
hanging out with boys.
You are a boy,
ain't you?
TRUDY: Oscar.
Fine. Let's go home,
and I can hang out
with my friends.
Hey, whoa!
'Cause they...
That's quite enough,
you two!
Now, look, we're gonna start
acting like a family
and have fun on this vacation
right now.
Do you hear me?
Yes.
Yes.
Do you hear me?
Yes, ma'am!
Yes, ma'am!
SUGA MAMA:
You looking for me, Carvey?
(JINGLING)
Uh, hello, Miss Suga.
Goodbye, Miss Suga.
Wait, wait, wait.
Get him, Puff,
and hit the lights.
(BARKING)
(SENSUAL MUSIC PLAYING)
♪ Poetry
♪ I've got to keep you
Pleased in every way I can
♪ Gonna give
You all of me... ♪
(GASPS)
(SCREAMS)
♪ I'm never gonna
Give you up ♪
(GROWLING)
Marcus, you can't join
Suga Mama in the hot tub?
The water is just right.
(FLATULENCE)
Uh, thanks, but... oh.
I'm not wearing
my swim trunks.
Well, what a coincidence.
Neither am I.
(BARK)
Oh, no.
(SUGA MAMA LAUGHS)
Penny. Penny?
Sorry, y'all. Big sis needs
a vacation from this vacation.
See ya.
(SNORING)
(RINGING)
Time to get rich.
♪ Oscar Proud gonna
Get rich now
♪ Oscar Proud gonna
Get paid now
♪ I'm-a gonna get paid now
♪ I'm-a gonna get rich
♪ I'm-a gonna get rich, yaa
♪ I'm-a gonna get rich, yaa
♪ I'm-a gonna get paid now ♪
WALLY: Psst!
Who's there?
Over here.
(OSCAR LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)
If you're looking
for someone to rob,
I know an old lady
with a poodle who's loaded.
I'll even help you
take her down.
(SCREAMS)
My name's Wally.
And you are in danger!
No! You're in danger!
'Cause I ain't afraid
to beat up no kid.
Listen. You need to
get off this island.
Whatever you do,
don't give Dr. Carver
your formula.
He's planning to take
over the world...
Mr. Proud,
there you are.
Listen, last night,
the most amazing thing
popped into my head.
(LAUGHING)
(SCREAMS)
Oh, there's gotta be
a way off of this island!
DR. CARVER II:
I'm so happy you decided
to accept my offer, Mr. Proud.
Here's to being partners.
Fifty-fifty.
(LAUGHS) How about
that little thing we was
talking about? You know...
Starts with a 10,
ends with a million dollars?
The money, of course.
Fellas. (CLAPS)
It's all yours,
Mr. Proud.
Ooh, baby! Heh.
I think I'm gonna need
a bigger wallet.
But first, ha ha ha,
the everlasting formula,
please.
Whatever you do,
do not give Dr. Carver
your formula.
Tell you what, Doc.
I'll be your partner,
50-50.
But the secret formula
stays on my 50. Deal?
Mr. Proud,
give me the formula.
Please!
I, uh, can't do that.
I don't have it with me
on the island.
I keep it in
a very special place.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a very large check
to cash.
By the way, is there
an ATM on the island?
I have been
a very patient man.
I want my formula!
Give it! Give it!
Give it! Give it!
Uh, Doc,
you got something funny
going on with your nose.
I have ways of
finding things out,
Mr. Proud.
Sinister ways.
Give me
the tickle chair.
No! Not the tickle chair!
(SCREAMS)
(LAUGHING)
Stop it.
Tell me where you've
hidden the formula.
Never!
(GRUNTS) Peanuts.
DR. CARVER II:
Tell me where
you've hidden...
(SCREAMS)
The formula!
Never!
DR. CARVER II:
Give me the formula.
I want that formula!
Give it! Give it! Give it!
♪ All around
The living room
♪ The boys and girls
Are singing... ♪
I must say I'm impressed by
your resilience, Mr. Proud.
But if you won't give me
the formula,
then you leave me no choice.
Bring in the clones.
OSCAR: Clones?
DR. CARVER II: Last night,
while you and your loved ones
enjoyed the luau,
my servants surreptitiously
collected a few
of your personal items.
When I combine
your Proud family DNA
with my patented peanut
cloning technology,
the result will have
you seeing double.
What the...
Clones?
Well, wait...
They just like the real thing.
Exactly.
Except there's
one difference.
(SCREAMS)
Clones, synchronize
yourselves.
You have 48 hours
to retrieve the instant
everlasting formula
and complete your mission.
ALL: Yes, Dr. Carver.
OSCAR: What about me
and my family?
You and your family
are gonna stay here
and enjoy your deluxe
island vacation...
Forever!
Do we have everything
we need for the mission?
(BEEPING)
My wristwatch
video communicator...
I must go back
and get it.
We're finally leaving?
Oh, thank you.
Thank you. Thank you!
Did you synchronize
your wristwatch?
My watch?
Yeah. It says it's time
to roll up out of here.
So, let's bounce.
What is the meaning
of this "roll up
out of here"?
It means it's time to go,
Mama, duh.
VOICE 1 ON TAPE: Hello.
How are you, my friend?
VOICE 2: Yo, yo.
We're scruga-lugga,
homey.
What's up, y'all?
What we waiting for?
You're supposed
to drive.
It's your mission
assignment.
Duh.
Me? You want me to drive?
You never let me drive.
Is this some kind of joke?
Where's the hidden camera?
I would never joke
about the mission.
Okay.
Thank you, Daddy.
I'm a really good driver.
You'll see. (GIGGLES)
All right,
adjust the mirror.
Hands at 10 and 2.
And ease away from the curb.
Oops!
Sorry. My bad.
OSCAR: And I was like,
"Hey, the secret formula
stays on my 50,"
and he was all, like,
"Give me the formula."
And I was, like, "No can do."
And he was, like,
"Well, bring out
the clones."
I was, like,
"Clones? Whatcha talkin'
about, clones?"
Wham! Bam!
Out step the clones.
Look just like us.
Except for Mama.
Even more hideous.
Twice the...
Stop talking nonsense,
boy.
I'm telling you it's true!
We gotta get out
of this place!
Hey! Penny!
Rise and shine, sweetie.
Vacation's over.
Where'd she go?
Okay, listen.
There's no time to panic.
I'll get us out of here
and find Penny.
Okay.
Now, it's time to panic.
Help us! Help!
If you want to survive,
you must come with me.
Immediately.
What?
Everyone is gone!
Must alert Dr. Carver.
OSCAR: Penny! There you are.
Oh, Penny!
Hmm? Have you been
eating peanut butter
or something?
We must hurry. We've got
to get to the other side
of the island.
There is only one person
who can help you now.
Is this a new part
of the mission?
Uh, yeah. We're on a mission
to save our necks.
Now, let's move!
Penny, I need you
to carry the twins,
and don't give me no lip.
(TWINS GIGGLE)
Now, that's more
like it.
It's about time
that girl started
listening to me.
(GASPS)
WALLY: Quickly.
We are almost
to the summit.
Oscar?
Whoa! Oh.
Oscar, don't panic.
Okay. I told you, Trudy,
I don't like heights.
SUGA MAMA: Whoo! Ahhh!
Look out there!
It's not so bad, son.
Unless you look down.
(LAUGHS)
Ahhh! That's not funny,
Mama.
(SUGA MAMA LAUGHING)
Penny, be careful
with the twins, now.
That's affirmative, Mother.
BOTH: Penny! Look out!
(YELLS)
What in the...
Oscar. Did you
just see...
CAB DRIVER:
1433. Okay, we're here.
Your monetarial
compensation, sir.
You may retain
the balance.
A thousand bucks!
Thanks!
Family,
primary mission begins
in T-minus 3...2...1.
(GIGGLING)
LACIENEGA: Hey, pal.
ZOEY: Hey, Penny.
What's up, P?
How was your trip?
Um... Bizarre.
Ever since this morning,
my mom's been talking like
she's straight-up street.
Man, this whip
is whack, homey.
Where's the secret
formula, yo?
And Suga Mama, I can't
even understand her.
No hay nada en esta caja.
And my dad's
been acting...
Daughter, would you
mind holding our currency?
Kinda cool.
Well, I bet he's
still not cool enough
to let you come to the
dance rehearsal tomorrow.
Whatever, LaCienega.
I feel you, girl.
But as Spare Change Dancers,
got some pre-rehearsal
shopping to do.
GIRLS: Hey!
What is it, daughter?
Come on, Dad.
Don't rub it in.
You know I'm the only one
who can't go
to the dance rehearsals.
Do you think your
attendance will advance
our primary mission?
Well, uh, yeah, I think so.
Most definitely.
Then perhaps
you should participate.
For real?
Oh, thank you.
You're the best daddy
in the whole world!
FELIX: What's up,
Oscar? My dawg.
Hello, Felix Boulevardez,
next door neighbor and friend.
Right. So...
Are we on for
the stuffball game
tonight or what?
It's the semifinals, baby!
Hasta la lima!
TRUDY: Stuffball? Ooh,
that's my game, dawg.
Ya heard me?
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Speaking of herds,
this hefty heifer
has escaped from her barn.
(LAUGHS)
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Watch your mouth,
you quirky caballero.
I've got some
Spanish peanut in me.
(IN ENGLISH)
Oscar, are you going
tonight or what?
One moment, please,
while I converse
with my associates.
This could be an important
fact-finding mission
to see what these
neighbors know about
the secret formula.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's a real spit, homey.
I'm with it.
Muy bueno.
Felix Boulevardez,
next door neighbor
and friend,
we accept your invitation.
Invitation? No.
You're paying
for these tickets.
Here's your
monetarial compensation.
Will $5,000 cover everything?
Yes!
VOICE ON RADIO:
Ya, y'all, Big Boy
in the hood!
Now, don't forget
tomorrow night
is the Extreme
Stuffball Championships
with a halftime performance
from my main man
15 Cent.
Big ups to all the lucky
little mamas who made the cut
to join in as
the Spare Change Dancers.
All right, now, ooh, wow,
now listen up, ladies.
Now, you girls must be
supertalented, superfly,
and you must have
a supercool dad.
PENNY: Yes, I do.
The coolest.
(SHIVERING)
This is some vacation.
I'm cold, I'm tired,
my ribs are still hurting
from that tickle chair,
and I am hungry.
Mmm-mmm.
Didn't know peanuts
so tasty, huh, Puff?
Mama! Where'd you
get those peanuts?
I cleaned out the minibar
before we left.
What? You gotta be crazy.
Don't you know how much
that stuff cost?
I'll give you $20 for a bite.
Puff?
(SPITS)
Here, help yourself.
(GROANS)
Mama, that... that is
just straight-up nasty!
(GRUNTS)
Do you need
a hand with that?
What are you doing?
I call it making a move.
Ahhh. Ooh.
Making a move is not part
of the mission.
(THUDS AND GRUNTS)
Oscar, do you notice
anything different
about Penny?
(WALLY GRUNTING)
Yeah. She's finally
handling boys
the way I taught her.
Oscar, she's body-slamming
that poor kid
against the rock.
OSCAR: Well, seems like
she's been working out.
But that's just the Proud
blood pumping
through her veins.
You see,
we're strong people.
(CHANTING)
Uh-huh. And she's not
complaining and whining
like she always does, either.
That's in
the Proud blood, too.
Isn't that a good thing?
Oh, Oscar, it's just...
My little girl's
growing up so fast.
Before we know it,
she'll be off to college,
then a career, marriage,
grandkids...
Whoa.
Slow down, Trudy.
Bebe and Cece are still
in diapers and you
talking about grandkids?
I know, it's silly.
But, in some ways,
I think I'm going to
miss the old Penny.
Well, I'm gonna
miss things, too.
Like tonight.
I'm missing the Wizard Kelly
Extreme Stuffball Semifinals.
I bet everybody's there
but me.
(FANFARE)
(WHISTLE)
(YELLING)
Okay, let me
get this straight.
Your dad, Oscar Proud,
is gonna let you be
a Spare Change Dancer?
I told you.
My daddy's cool, now.
He lets me do
whatever I want.
Whoa! Nice shoes!
(LAUGHS) Yeah!
My mom took me shopping
and hooked me up.
(CELL PHONE RINGS)
Wait. Hang on, LaCienega.
It's D.
Hey, girl.
Your parents bought
you a polyphonic
camera phone?
I don't even have
one of those.
Hey... Ooh.
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Hang on, Pen.
Zoey's hitting me
on my two-way.
Hey.
What's up, girl?
Hang on, guys.
My other line's beeping.
Hey, it's Dijonay.
Do you believe
Penny's mom bought her
a camera phone?
Stop playing.
Penny, you got a new phone?
Yep. Check it out.
GIRLS: Dang!
Yo, yo, pigeon,
come on, sister.
What's the 4-1-1 on
Oscar's secret formula?
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Suga Mama,
I must apologize
for my rude behavior today.
(LAUGHS)
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Save your breath,
you moldy muchacho.
PAPI: (IN SPANISH)
Playing hard to get?
Hmmm... I like this
new spicy taquito.
(LAUGHS)
Wiz Dome dogs.
Get your red hots.
Come and get your dogs.
Yo, Oscar, are you hungry?
I'll get us some hot dogs.
Hey, yo!
Two hot dogs over here.
(LAUGHTER)
Oscar, what did you
do that for?
Sorry about that, man.
Couple more dogs.
Here. Just take
the whole thing.
Oh, my. This is, um,
tasty!
ANNOUNCER: Whoo! That was
some second quarter.
And now for our
halftime entertainment,
some brave man out there
will get the chance to win...
(BURP)
...twelve wizard dollars
by going one-on-one with
the Extreme Stuffball Champ...
Mayhem the Mangler, y'all.
Any takers?
(CROWD CHEERS)
I must procure more hot dogs.
ANNOUNCER: And there's
our brave volunteer
right now, y'all.
MC: Is that Oscar Proud?
Go, Oscar!
Penny! Penny!
That's your dad!
He's gonna get mangled.
Oh, no!
(LOW GROWL)
(CHEERING)
CROWD: Mangler! Mangler!
Mangler! Mangler!
Where ya gonna be when
Mayhem mania comes for thee?
Don't worry, Penny.
I'm sure your father
will be okay.
It's all fake.
Fake? Zoey, that guy's gonna
devour my daddy.
(GIGGLES)
Cool.
MC: Now, here's the rules.
Your mission is
to get the ball
into the opponent's goal.
Other than that, just try
not to get too much blood
on the Wizard's nice
shiny floor, y'all.
(GROWLS)
I'm gonna bust you up.
Primary mission,
put the ball in
the opponent's goal.
Go for it.
(YELLS)
Mayhem mania!
(YELLS)
Yo, what? No!
Wait a second.
Wait a second! (SCREAMS)
Oh, no... not the face!
(GROANS)
(CHEERING)
Hasta la rima!
(CHEERS)
CROWD: Oscar! Oscar! Oscar!
Oscar! Oscar! Oscar!
Yes, yes, y'all.
Well done, Oscar Proud.
Well, here is
12 Wizard dollars.
Attorney.
ATTORNEY: (SPEAKING FAST)
Wizard dollars redeemable only
at licensed Wizard Kelly
concession stands
in the 50 states
and Puerto Rico.
Wizard dollars are copyrighted
by Wizard Kelly
and may not be used
without expressed permission
of Wizard Kelly.
Offer expires
in 25 minutes, y'all.
MC: Well, Oscar Proud,
what are you gonna do
with all them Wizard dollars?
Dang, Penny.
I've never seen
your dad so hungry.
Your mama don't cook no more?
We made it.
He will be able
to help you now.
He? He who?
(WHISPERING)
(LAUGHS)
Wally, you've done
a good job.
Thank you, Father.
OSCAR: Father?
Listen, man,
I don't know what kind
of freaky family tree
you fell from,
but from one dad to another,
you gotta help me, man.
There's a guy
on the other side
of the island,
and he's crazy...
Dr. Carver. Looks like
Boogaloo Shrimp!
I'm telling you,
he outta his mind.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Trust me.
Dr. Carver is not crazy.
What? How do you know?
Because I'm...
Dr. Carver.
(BEEPING)
Uh, you see, the Dr. Carver
you've been dealing with
is in fact my clone.
Clone?
This is a portrait of my
great-great-grandfather...
George Washington Carver.
Is anyone here familiar with
The Making of a Peanut?
Ooh, ooh.
Me. Me. Me.
Ooh ooh ooh.
I got it.
I got it.
Oops, here we go.
Ahem.
George Washington Carver,
1864 to 1943,
a renowned educator and
agricultural researcher
who invented over 300 uses
for the common peanut,
including shampoo,
instant coffee, and,
of course, peanut butter.
Very good, Mr. Proud.
Ha ha! Yeah, baby!
In your face, Suga Mama.
Shoo, you can't
tell me nothing.
I know my nuts, now.
I know you're nuts, too.
(LAUGHING)
I was interested
in peanut research as well.
Only instead of butter
and soap,
I hoped to create
a new life form
from the peanut genome.
So I moved to this
remote island
and began experimenting
with peanut
cloning technology.
My first attempt
at cloning...
went terribly wrong.
I had to scrap
the experiment and turn 'em
into peanut butter.
All except one.
(GROWLING)
My second round of experiments
brought me closer to my goal.
I call these friendly
creatures the Genomes.
They've become like family.
But I longed for a protege,
an intellectual equal,
someone to inherit
all that I have learned.
So I mixed my own human DNA
into the experiment
and attempted to clone myself.
It was truly a success.
Unfortunately, one day I
left him in the sun too long,
and the results
were disastrous.
(SCREAMING)
Don't worry. It's not
as bad as you think.
Ooh, I'm gonna getcha.
I only wanted to create
a companion.
But instead,
I created a monster.
Then what happened?
He went bad.
Literally.
Ashamed by his appearance,
he disguised his deformities
and became obsessed
with proving to the world
what peanuts were capable of.
He began his own
evil experiments
and forced my peaceful Genomes
to work for him.
All except for Wally here.
But recently, he's been
working on something big...
and possibly very, very bad.
(GASPS)
That's why he wanted
my special Kicking Donkey
Dipping Sauce.
But don't sweat.
Those clones will never
find out where I hid it.
Where did you hide it, Oscar?
Somewhere very special.
Inside Penny's
birthday necklace.
Now, where did you
put it, sweetie?
I... Uh...
Am unauthorized to
answer your question.
OSCAR: What?
I think what she's
trying to say
is she didn't open
your gift, Oscar.
It's still sitting
in the box in Penny's
bedroom back at home.
I have a boat that can
get us off this island.
We must hurry.
He must be stopped
before it's too late.
Going somewhere?
(EVIL LAUGH)
We know all about you,
Dr. Peanut Brittle.
How did you find us?
(BEEPING)
Penny told me.
Penny?
Penny, no!
What are you doing?
I can't believe it.
My own daughter sold us out.
Penny, why?
I thought...
(EVIL LAUGH)
Take them away.
(SHOUTING)
Leave me alone!
Get your hands off me!
(OSCAR YELLING)
(YAWNING)
Morning, Suga Mama.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Good morning,
my granddaughter.
(GLASS BREAKING,
CLATTERING)
Hey! Mama!
Mom, what are you doing?
Yo, stop tripping, son.
I'm trying to peep out
the secret formula.
Okay, try two eggs
plus flour and milk.
That's the secret formula
for pancakes.
We got any?
'Cause I'm starving.
Oh, snaps,
you talking about food.
Yo, your boy OPZ's
taking care of that.
OPZ?
Daughter. The hot dogs
are almost complete.
OPZ?
Uh, I'll just
have some juice.
On second thought,
I'll pass on breakfast
this morning.
Too long.
Too short.
Ooh, too cute!
(HORN HONKS)
Hey, 15!
I'll be right down.
I'll see you guys
after rehearsal.
Oh, and, Daddy,
I never did say thanks
for my birthday necklace.
I love it.
You're the b*mb.
I'm the b*mb?
(BEEPING)
Father, do you read me?
I have important news
regarding the mission.
Daughter? I thought
you were on your way
to the rehearsal.
I'm still on the island.
The real Penny Proud
is with you.
And she has
the secret formula.
It's in her necklace.
You must retrieve it
and return
to Legume immediately.
Time is running out.
Do not fail the mission.
I will not fail the mission.
(GIRLS CHATTERING)
NUBIA: Listen up.
All dancers to the stage.
Break a leg.
Or Olei will break one
for you.
Okay, people.
Here's the scenario
for the halftime show.
It's a love story.
15 Cent is trying to meet
the girl of his dreams.
But she's keeping him
on ice, a'ight?
15 CENT: You ready
for the big time, Ponytails?
You just try to keep up.
Shh, shh, shh!
Quiet, everybody!
Here we go.
Cue music and...
♪ Blowin' up, blowin' up,
blowin' up, blowin' up ♪
(SNARLS)
Move it!
♪ Y'all know who I am... ♪
Be a butterfly.
Be a butterfly.
Careful, Zoey.
You're blocking my view!
Okay, Penny,
get ready to move in.
CHOREOGRAPHER:
Let me feel it, now!
More energy!
(GIGGLING)
Wait a minute.
Cut, cut, cut!
Who is this guy?
(ALL GASP)
Daddy?
Uh... (CLEARS THROAT)
Hello, daughter.
I'm so sorry.
My dad was just
checking in on me.
You can dismiss him, now.
Let's go, Mr. Proud.
Dismiss him?
I haven't seen anyone
move like that
since that old woman
on Soul Train.
Come on, pops.
Do that thing again.
Show me what
you're workin' with!
You mean... this?
(MUSIC STARTS)
I'm feelin' this!
I'm feeling this, too!
Dang! Mr. Proud
is workin' it!
ALL: Go, Oscar.
Go, Oscar. Go, Oscar.
Go, Oscar, go, Oscar,
go, Oscar.
(VIDEO GAME TUNE)
Mama...
Whassup?
This new cool
version of Daddy
is even worse
than the original!
Word!
In fact, I wish
this whole family
started acting normal again.
I'm exhausted
from staying up all night
'cause nobody's
given me a curfew.
That's for sure!
The house is a mess
because no one's
making me do any chores!
Bebe and Cece stink!
And if I ever have to
even look at another
hot dog again,
I'm gonna be sick!
Go!
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
Mexican hotdogs?
(GAGGING)
(PENNY RETCHES)
(LAUGHING)
Hey, PC!
How was the rehizzle
for rizzle?
Great! I was a big hit
with the kids.
And... oh, they even
named a dance after me.
♪ Do the Oscar,
Do the Oscar
♪ Do the Oscar,
It's the Oscar
"It's my birthday..."
They kept saying that.
(GROANS)
(PENNY GASPS)
How do?
Cashew? What are you
doing here?
Oh... Just checkin' out
your wardrobe.
You know, you could
use a little more variety.
Okay. I stowed away
on the boat
and followed you here
because I wanted to see
what it was like to have
a real family.
Only problem is,
you don't have
a real family, either.
Whatcha talkin' about, Cashew?
Your real family's
still back on the island
being held c*ptive.
Those people downstairs
are peanut clones
sent here by the evil
Dr. Marcus Garvey
Carver... II...
to find your father's
secret formula
so they can
take over the world.
Hey! Is this cashmere?
Cashew... focus!
Are you telling me
my family is a forgery?
(LAUGHING)
Oh, that's funny!
That's real funny.
Come on,
let's go downstairs
so I can let everybody
know you're here.
(PENNY GIGGLING)
You guys wouldn't believe
who hitched a ride
on the boat.
Cashew! And he's got
this ridiculous idea
that all of you guys
are clones!
(PENNY GIGGLING)
That is ridiculous...
Right?
BEBE: (DEEP VOICE) Yeah.
That is ridiculous.
Who said that?
I did!
Now, gimme the necklace
or I'm gonna go
upside your head
with this 10-pound
dirty diaper.
See? I told ya.
Oh... I get it.
This is all a dream.
Penny ate a bad hot dog,
and now Penny's
imagining things.
Penny needs
to go lie down, now.
Get her!
(SCREAMS)
PENNY: Bebe! Let me go!
I got it!
(BEBE LAUGHING EVILLY)
Oh! Gimme back my necklace,
you fake Bebe!
Come on, Cece.
We gotta go!
Take us home!
Mission accomplished!
Goodbye. See you, baby.
BEBE: We got it!
Come on, Cashew.
I've gotta save my family.
And you're gonna help me.
Let's do this.
DR. CARVER II:
Good news! Your clones
have located
the secret formula.
They're returning
to the island at any minute...
Just in time
to see your demise.
Carvey,
how could you
do this?
What about the other
night in the hot tub?
Didn't that mean
anything to you?
(GROANS) Ugh! Mama!
You and Carver?
Yeah, we was
in the hot tub together.
What you got
to do with it?
And he gonna be
your step-daddy.
How you like that?
That's just
straight-up nasty!
And then I said,
"That's ridiculous, right?"
And then they said,
"No more games."
Then I said,
"Penny's dreaming!"
And then they said,
"Get her!"
And then they took
my necklace,
and then they got into
a helicopter and took off
for the island!
Proud, that's the whackiest
story I've ever heard!
People made from peanuts?
(LAUGHTER)
How do?
(ALL SCREAMING)
So, you believe me now?
(SILENCE)
Aw, he's actually kinda cute.
I could just dip ya
in some chocolate
and eat you right up,
you so cute!
Look, y'all, I've gotta
get back to that island
and save my family!
Well, if you goin',
we goin', too.
You guys would do that for me?
We're your
best friends, Penny.
That means we're like family!
So, if your family
is in trouble,
then doggone it,
our family is in trouble!
Can I get an amen?
Such a dork.
Oh, thanks, guys!
Now, if we only
knew someone
with a really fast boat...
Hold it! Nuh-uh!
No way!
I am not doin' that!
Ah! Don't touch anything!
If 15 finds out
I stole his yacht,
I'll be kicked outta
his entourage.
Sticky,
it's pronounced yacht.
Yetch, yacht...
they both boats,
okay, girl?
PENNY: All hands on deck!
Operation Family
Liberation is a go.
NUBIA: Uh... You're not going
anywhere, Proud.
Nubia, I don't have time
to trip with you right now.
I don't care.
15 Cent paid us
to guard his boat.
So if you want it...
You gotta match his offer.
Cough up the cabbage.
Fine. You want my money,
go ahead and take it.
It's in my backpack.
How do?
(SCREAMING)
(SPLASH)
Punch it, Proud!
Bye, Nubia!
It's on, now!
And now the time
has come
to reveal my crowning
achievement...
My masterpieces!
It can't be!
Are those...
BOTH: Genetically engineered
Supergenomes.
But I abandoned my research
on the agriculturally
engineered supersoldiers
years ago.
I could never get them
to stabilize.
Neither could I.
But if my hunch is correct,
Oscar Proud's everlasting
multiplying formula
will certainly change that.
Peanuts.
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
They've multiplied...
They've stabilized...
I'm an evil genius!
No one will ever mock
the accomplishments
of a peanut again!
I will rule the world!
After I sing my song.
Song? What song?
♪ If I ruled the world...
I know this fool
ain't about to sing.
♪ I would make sure
my clones don't give
any slack
♪ If I ruled the world
♪ I would treat people bad
That's a well-known fact
♪ Imagine that
♪ Now, let met tell ya a
Little somethin' 'bout me
♪ Go 'head
♪ My name is Carver,
y'all
♪ Just call me Dr. C
♪ And when my plan
is in effect
♪ I'm gonna be boss of me
♪ I got the secret genes
♪ Yes, sir!
♪ I got some Genomes, too
♪ We're goin' overseas
♪ We're gonna get rid of you
♪ Peanut for president
♪ That makes us VIPs
♪ Broadcast on nightly news
♪ I'll see you cryin'
On your knees
♪ That's how
The world will change
♪ My time
For fortune and fame
♪ You got yourself
To blame
♪ You all will
Scream my name
♪ Hail to the peanut king
Hail to the peanut king
♪ Hail to the peanut king
♪ He's bad
♪ He's mean
♪ He's cool
♪ He stinks...
DR. CARVER II: Whoa.
Who said that?
Sorry, dawg.
That's okay.
Take him away!
♪ I'll make it evil
Just like me
♪ It's been this way
Through history
♪ You wait and see ♪
♪ Let's go, let's go,
Let's go, go, go
♪ I'll feed you all
To my sea beast
♪ And watch him
While he has a feast
♪ It's peanut time
To say the least
♪ World
♪ Domination
♪ Warriors
♪ That's us!
♪ Clone
♪ Everyone
♪ Mankind
♪ You're gonna
Be annihilated
♪ Take over
♪ All peanuts
♪ Genomes
♪ March, march
♪ Peanuts
♪ Superior
♪ Carver
♪ Nuts ♪
(NEON SIGN CRACKLES)
He sure is.
MC: Please rise
for the national anthem.
♪ Oh, say
♪ Can you
♪ See
♪ By... the ♪
♪ Dawn's
♪ Early light
♪ What so proud...
(SNORING)
♪ Proud... ♪
CROWD: Boo!
This is the moment
of truth, troops!
Today, we separate the men
from the macadamias.
Let's load up!
Yes, sir!
CLONE LEADER: All right,
troops, you heard the order!
Let's go, let's go,
let's go!
Move it, move it,
move it!
I must say...
It's a beautiful day
for stuffball.
Perhaps my army and I will...
Drop in... on the action!
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
Oscar, that deranged
nut Carver's
planning to take over the town
during that stuffball
championship game
with those
super peanut people!
Well, ain't you a quick
study, Mrs. Proud?
By half time
the world will be mine!
You'll never get away
with this, Carver!
Hah! Good luck
stopping me!
Penny.
(ROARS)
(OSCAR SCREAMS)
(ALL SCREAMING)
Come on, Penny. I shouldn't
have canceled your birthday.
I'm sorry.
As of this minute,
it's officially un-canceled!
Penny!
When we get home,
this girl is so grounded!
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
STICKY: Slow down, Penny.
You're comin' in
way too fast!
Relax! It's not
the first time
I've driven a boat.
(CRASH)
PENNY: Oops! (WEAK LAUGH)
It's the second time
I've driven a boat.
Abandon ship, everybody!
(ALL SCREAMING)
We sunk 15 Cent's yacht!
It's pronounced yacht!
Yetch, yacht. Zoey,
don't you start with me!
So what's the game plan, P?
Find my parents
and get up outta here.
But first...
I think we have to get past
those leering eyeballs
hiding in the bushes.
LACIENEGA:
More peanuts?
I'll have you know
that I am skilled
in the ancient art
of karate.
Hi-yah!
Our people aren't
traditional fighters.
There's only one way
to get past 'em.
ZOEY: Create a diversion
and launch
a surprise attack
on their rear flank?
CASHEW: No. Battle dance.
(BREAKDANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
♪ Universal people
lookin' for the perfect beat
♪ Moto-motivation
lookin' for the perfect beat
♪ Mighty zulu nation,
they have found
the perfect beat
♪ Like apricot and butter,
I present the perfect beat
♪ Beat, beat, beat, beat
(RECORD-SCRATCHING BEAT)
♪ Lookin' for
the perfect beat, searchin'
for the perfect beat
♪ Lookin' for the perfect
beat, seekin' for the
perfect beat
♪ If there's no satisfaction,
just take action
♪ Listen up,
listen up
(CHILDREN
SHOUTING ENCOURAGEMENT)
PENNY: Come on, Sticky!
♪ If it makes ya satisfied,
just get a pony and ride
♪ Giddyup, giddyup
♪ When you're lookin'
for a perfect beat...
Go on, Zoey.
Serve that fool!
I can't. I can't.
You can do it, Z.
Just be a butterfly.
Be a butterfly.
Be a butterfly. Be...
Oh, just be
a stupid butterfly already!
♪ Lookin' for
the perfect beat
♪ Lookin' for
the perfect beat
♪ Lookin' for
the perfect beat
♪ Say, we like the body,
rock the party
♪ Party, party...
ZOEY: Yeah, boy!
♪ Say we like the body,
rock the party
♪ Party, party
♪ Say we like the body,
rock the party
♪ We like the instapop
the party
♪ Party, party, party ♪
Hey!
♪ Let's do this, our music
Zoey!
♪ Must exercise their
course in Shakespeare
♪ Which is life
upon a stage
♪ We say, life... ♪
And where I'm from...
That's how we do it.
Ya heard me?
Hollah! Hollah!
(GIRLS CHEERING)
(SCREAMING)
Bobo?
(ROARS)
Bobo! Is that you?
Carver?
ALL: Huh?
I haven't seen you
since you escaped
into the sea!
I've missed you, Bobo!
Well... You was
trying to turn me
into peanut butter.
Oh, sorry. Ha. Ahem.
I overreacted.
Think you'll forgive me?
All right. It's cool.
Oh, that's touching.
Kinda freaky...
But that's touching.
TRUDY: Penny!
OSCAR: Penny!
Hey!
We your family, girl!
Why don't you get us
down from here?
PENNY: Because she's not
the real Penny!
I am!
Penny!
Clones! Get 'em!
CLONE LEADER: Let's go,
let's go, let's go!
Move it, move it, move it!
(SCREAMS)
Wow, Penny.
She looks nothing
like you!
I mean, your forehead
is way bigger than hers.
(SCREAMS)
You 'bout to get
your butt whooped!
Getting my butt whooped
is not part of the mission.
(ALL GASP)
And I will not fail
the mission.
Wait, clone daddy!
It doesn't have
to be this way!
Remember all the good
times we had?
You can help us!
Do it for me.
Do it for my family.
Do it for...
The hot dogs!
Hot dogs?
I do like hot dogs.
Where you gonna be
when Oscar-mania
comes for thee?
(CRASHING)
(CHEERING)
(LAUGHING)
TRUDY: How can we stop him?
He's getting away!
(ALL SIGHING)
Uh... Doctor?
Uh... Peanut butter?
ALL: Huh?
When my early experiments
went bad,
I used a powerful peanut
liquification gas
to turn them
into peanut butter.
CASHEW: It's real
potent stuff.
One small dose
can destroy
the entire Super-G army.
I always keep some on me
in case of emergencies.
My name is Carver, y'all!
Penny, what the...
Wait, Penny, stop!
OSCAR: Penny!
Ahhh!
ALL: Penny!
♪ Oh, say does
CROWD: Boo!
♪ That star
♪ Span-gled
♪ Banner... ♪
MC: Bobby Proud, y'all.
(SILENCE)
Bobby Proud, y'all!
WOMAN: He stinks, Wizard!
Let's play stuffball, y'all!
ALL: Yay! Yay!
CROWD: Oh!
Good evening, everyone.
I'm Dr. Marcus
Garvey Carver...
II.
Just thought
that before my army
of Supergenome warriors
take over the world,
I should give you a taste
of what to expect.
NARRATOR:
These fun, bright happy beings
are peanut clones.
Say hello, because
they are our friends.
And very soon,
you'll be seeing them
all around your community!
Say hello!
Say hello!
So, remember, next time
you see a peanut clone,
say hello...
Because we're going
to be around
for a long...
long...
Long time.
That's right.
And for those of you
who think peanuts
are played out, done, passe...
I've got news for you!
We're here to stay!
(LAUGHING)
ALL: Oh! Oh!
The takeover begins...
in T-minus 5 minutes.
Have a pleasant evening.
MAN: He's a peanut!
I better get a big raise
in my allowance for this.
(DR. CARVER II
LAUGHING)
Give it up, Carver!
Or whoever you are!
ALL: Whoo! Whoo!
Too late, Penny.
Soon the world
will be taken over
by peanutkind.
Well, then, am I too late
for this?
What is that?
The peanut liquification gas?
Gimme that!
Gimme that!
Whoa!
Hey! Watch out!
Curses!
Is that Proud?
Dang! That girl's hardcore!
PENNY: Stop it! Stop it!
TRUDY: Penny!
Penny!
Suga Mama, quick!
Hand me a pair
of your drawers!
My drawers?
Why, you must be
dim or dumb...
Come on, Mama.
For once, show me
some respect
and hand me over
them big old britches.
Aye-aye, Captain!
CLONE LEADER:
All right, clones,
you heard the order!
Let's go, let's go,
let's go!
Move it, move it,
move it, move it!
All right, clones,
let's go! Let's go!
DR. CARVER:
Faster, Bobo, faster!
(CROWD SHOUTS ENCOURAGEMENT)
(GASPING)
Nice try, Penny.
Oh...
OSCAR: Penny!
Daddy!
Stand back,
you burnt peanut!
I'm here to save my daughter!
DR. CARVER II:
Don't do it, Penny!
Join me!
Just think of the life
you can have...
A life of complete
freedom.
(OSCAR STRUGGLING)
Don't listen to him, Penny!
WOMAN: Penny, don't!
SUGA MAMA: Penny!
TRUDY: Penny!
Sorry, Carver.
Even though
they're not perfect,
in fact,
I have an extensive
list of complaints...
they're my real family!
And I love them
just the way they are.
Oh! Penny.
ALL: Aw!
(GROWLS)
So, take this!
No!
I'm destabilizing!
No!
(TINY VOICE)
I'm a little peanut.
(SPLASH)
A-ha! Yes!
Daddy, you better
hang on!
I think this is about
to get really messy!
Look out, y'all!
She's gonna blow!
(CROWD SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
WOMAN: Everybody, run!
Oh! (LAUGHING)
Come on, everybody.
This is a part
of the show!
It's for my new single...
15 Cent, Raw,
Uncut and Nutty!
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
y'all get up!
Whoo, yeah!
Put your hands in the air!
Yeah!
Wave 'em like you
just don't care!
(MUSIC STOPS)
PENNY: Ahh!
Daddy, I can't believe
you parasailed all the way
up there to help me.
You must really
love me after all.
Well, I just didn't
want you to hang out
with all those Supergenomes.
They may have been
peanuts, but they
were boy peanuts.
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
My whole point in that thing
didn't exactly
turn out the way
I planned.
But... It meant
a lot to me,
and I wanted to keep it
in a special place.
And there's no place
more special...
than with you.
Hey, my necklace!
Happy birthday, Penny.
ALL: Aw!
(GIGGLING)
(CROWD APPLAUDS)
Thanks for the lift, Bobo.
Are you comin', Carver?
You know, I could use
a resourceful man
around the house.
Heaven knows,
Oscar's hopeless.
And, uh...
You know I'm buildin'
a new jacuzzi.
That's a tempting offer,
Miss Suga.
But my home
is on Legume Island...
with my family.
Let's ride, Bobo!
Yah! Ha ha! Come on!
Mama!
Oh, Penny!
15 CENT:
Uh... I hate to break up
this little love fest,
but we do have a show
to finish.
You mean you still
want us to dance?
Dance? Ponytail,
this crowd loves you!
I want you to sing.
ALL: Hey.
Daddy, can I?
Well, you're 16 now, Penny.
That means you're officially
mature enough
to make your own decisions.
As long as you make
those decisions
in more appropriate attire.
What do you say, guys?
See, Penny, the
Spare Change Dancers
are like family.
When one of us performs,
then, doggone it,
we all per...
I think what Zoey's
trying to say is...
GIRLS: Let's do this, girl.
Hey!
Hey.
BOBBY: One, two,
three!
♪ MPDZ in the hiz-house!
♪ When they
give you the board
♪ Get crackin'
on how it's done
♪ I'm layin' the law,
are you feelin' it, y'all
♪ Or am I the only one?
♪ We can celebrate
♪ Don't act like
you wanna hate
♪ All you players and
shorties, and you in
your forties
♪ Hurry, 'fore it's too late
♪ Oh, all the girls
are strong enough
♪ To stand alone
♪ But everybody wants
♪ To find a common tone
♪ Oh, oh...
15 CENT:
Yo, cousin, I'm throwin'
an after-party on my yacht.
You down?
About the yacht...
By the way, my brother,
it's really pronounced yacht.
Work it. Work it!
Move your little
peanut head! Come on!
♪ Brothers loving
one another
♪ That's the gift
that makes it great, y'all
DISC JOCKEY: Yo, y'all,
this is Big Boy!
And that was the new
smash hit from Penny Proud
from the group MPDZ.
Five Straight weeks
at number one.
Whoo! You go on, girl!
(LAUGHING)
Do it again!
Do it again!
♪ See?
♪ Comin' back at me
♪ Whoo! If you stand
right beside me... ♪
And now for our main event.
Mayhem the Mangler
versus the
salty sultans of smack,
the Brazil Brothers.
I'm gonna get
my snack on before
they get their smack on.
Oscar Proud's
Pork-Nut O-Rade?
Let me see
what this boy done.
One guzzle
will build your muscles.
(SNIFFS)
More like one drink
will make your breath stink.
(GULPING)
How about if I
fry is up
some of these chick...
(RUMBLING)
Puff?
OSCAR: Penny, now,
watch out, slow down.
Speed up, now.
I mean, turn around.
Don't turn around.
Stop.
Relax, Dad.
I am now Penny Proud,
officially licensed driver.
Look out!
(TIRES SCREECHING)
CASHEW: Excuse me,
Mr. Proud,
I've been observing Penny
for the last two weeks.
And I must say,
she is a most
excellent driver.
Cashew, as the official
Proud Snacks mascot
your job is to promote me,
not provoke me!
Now, if my batch
of Pork-Nut O-Rade
completes the secret
patented and cooling process,
it'll be my biggest hit yet.
And hopefully no side effects.
Team Nut-O-Rade,
put on your hat,
and hand me the mic.
Gotta promote.
Aw, man.
OSCAR: (OVER PA)
Pork Nut-O-Rade,
world's nuttiest energy drink.
If you're feeling like a slug,
grab a can and jug-a-lug.
What in the... Penny!
I thought I told you...
(CROWD SCREAMING)
(ROARING)
Puffzilla?
(SCREAMING)
OSCAR: Here he comes!
Everybody, run for your lives!
It's the Suga monster!
Oscar, I think you finally
hit on something with
this drink of yours.
(BURP)
PENNY: Ew.
Come on, Puff.
Let's take a dip
in the pool.
(SPEAKING JAPANESE)
Puffzilla! Come back.
I love you.
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Proud Family Movie, The (2005)
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