01x07 - Butterscotch

[bunniefuu]

Previously
on Briarpatch

I told you..
What?

To stop.

You're Harold Snow.

You spy on people for money.

No, not there.
It's not safe.

Meet me in Packingtown.

Your beautiful wife..

Gene, did you feed the cat?

Made a scene
at Felicity's funeral.

Are you saying
I can't control her?

[grunts]

I'm ready to go back home.

Senator?
Have you seen Spivey?

Mr. Brattle.

I believe you've met Sid.
[laughs]

[g*nf*re]
[man shouting]

The only reason I'm here
is to ruin someone's life.

[g*nsh*t]

We had a deal.
And I don't welch.

When things get bumpy
is when I hit the gas.

I'm announcing my candidacy
for November's election.

She's the one
that planted the story

in the newspaper
about Felicity.

James and Jimmy Jr.
own the Chronicle

which means that they pretty
much control everything.

I can fix this.

[dramatic musical flourish]

Shine on me, sunshine,
walk with me, world

Morning, Fred.
[horn honks]

It's a skippidity do da
day

I'm the happiest girl

In the whole U.S.A.

[music distorts]

Hello, sunshine
[g*nshots]

Sleepy head

Why'd we move
that bojangle clock

So far away from the bed?

Just one more minute

That's why we moved it

One more hug would do
[g*nshots]

Do you love waking up
next to me

[music slows down]
As much as I love

Waking up next to you?
[g*nsh*t]

[distorted music continues]

[exhales]

[honking echoes]

Do these old shoes

Look funny

[music normalizes]

Now you be careful

Gotta go, I love you

Have a beautiful day
and kiss..

- [moaning]

Oh, my God.

That was incredible, Felicity.

- [sighs]
- You're incredible.

- [laughs]
Come on, Gene.

Give me a break.

- [laughs]

I'll give you
whatever you want.

I love you, Butterscotch.

[upbeat country music]

- Texas, our Texas

All hail the mighty state

- Texas, our Texas

So wonderful, so great

- Noblest and grandest

Withstanding
every test

- Oh, empire wide
and glorious

You stand
supremely blessed

God bless you, Texas

And keep you
brave and strong

That you may grow
in power and worth

Throughout the ages long

- Cyrus.

- Ms. Dill.
A moment.

- We need to talk.

- A moment.

Please, continue.

- Uniformed officers
will be stationed

in and around the building,

plainclothes,
mixed in the crowd.

So details are all right here.

- Excellent.

I'll run it by our personal
security team.

Apologies again
for the late notice.

- Oh, we're just glad
you're including San Bonifacio

on this little barnstorm
of yours.

- Why are you really here?

- Well, as I said, we're just..

- Anyone could've liaised
about security.

You requested me
and came yourself.

That means you have
other things on your mind.

You just announced
your candidacy for mayor.

And you're looking
for an endorsement.

- [laughs]

- Unfortunately,
we don't have one to give.

Mayor Salazar is a friend.

Loyalty matters.

- What about competence?

- We're talking politics,
Ms. Raytek, not carpentry.

Besides,

you don't wanna be mayor
of San Bonifacio, Texas.

You wanna be ex-mayor.

And on to bigger
and better things.

Don't hide your ambition.
[inhales]

It's the most seductive perfume
in the world.

But don't mistake diplomacy
for currency.

In the future, when you come
to me for a favor,

make sure you bring something
of equal or greater value

to exchange.

- Well, Mr. Lapin,
that sounds like

exactly the kind
of backroom horse trading

I intend to campaign against.

- [laughing]

You are a treat, Ms. Raytek.

When I'm flying home to D.C.
on a Learjet

with a glass of VSOP brandy,

I'll be sure
to look out the window

and see if I can spot
your virtue.

From 30,000 feet,
I'm sure it's quite bright.

[indistinct chatter]

[amplifier tones]

- Why are you lying
about my sister?

- I loved your sister.

Honey, believe me,
we're on the same team.

- f*ck your team.

- Good talk.

[flies buzzing]

- I don't understand.

Does the pig want to be eaten?

- Why are you here?

Why wasn't I given a heads up?

- The senator appreciates
your updates,

but he thought it was time
to roll up his sleeves,

get the lay of the land
for himself.

- Meaning?

- He wants a sit-down
with Clyde Brattle.

- You can't be serious.

The man tried to burn innocents
alive last night.

He m*rder*d
a border patrol officer.

A friend.

- Spivey's hands
aren't exactly clean.

There's Al-Namur,

the Syrian village
you mentioned.

I looked into it.

The figs are indeed exquisite,

but did you know crop yields
have fallen precipitously?

Apparently there's an excess
of lime in the soil.

- And?

- There's a mass grave
in Al-Namur.

Dozens of bodies.

Don't let friendship
cloud your judgment.

Neither man is Emily Post.

They're simply tools
to be used for our ends.

- The senator's ends.

- Those are the only ends
that oughta interest us.

Aside from these burnt ends,

which really are
quite delightful.

Oh, please don't tell me
you've lost your appetite.

Shame.

Forget Spivey.
We meet with Brattle.

- Fine.

- Allegra.

Mrs. Ramirez will be joining us
for the rally tonight.

It would be best if you...

found another place to be.

[loud buzzing]

[electric mixer whirring]

[mouthing words]

- [shouting]
Do you remember

that nice couple
that lived next to us

in Mount Airy, Gene?

The ones who brought souffle
to the block party?

Well, I thought I'd try
to pull that off here.

I got eggs, cheese,
more cheese.

- Lucretia.

- Or something--
- Lucretia, look at me.

I know you've been through
a lot these past few months.

We've both made mistakes.

But maybe now,

things can be different.

- "Different."

- I could come home early
tonight.

We could have dinner.
Together.

Watch one of those shows
you like.

You know,
the one about antique roads.

- It's not about antique roads,
Gene.

- I'm close to something
at work.

If I could just
get over the hump,

then we could have
that fresh start I promised.

I swear.

- Don't lie to me, Gene.

My father said not
to marry a liar.

- You didn't.

- [sighs]

Well,

I guess I'll start shredding
some cheese.



- That..that would be great.

[pleasant music]

Great.

- Any luck finding my cat,
Gene?

- No.

But...

I think our luck's
about to change.

- No, not there.
It's not safe.

Meet me in Packingtown.

[somber music]

- She sounds terrified.

- Felicity said
not to trust the cops, right?

And what about
the chief of them?

- [exhales]
Don't get me started on her.

- She planted the story.

Threw my sister under the bus

and then drove that bus
right over her

on the way to City Hall.

I wanna know why.

You okay with that?

- Are you asking me
as your lawyer

or as your...

[playful music]

- What?

- Whatever the hell we were
the other night.

[engine turning over]

- All right.

Okay.

- [screams]
Ow!

- Hey!

- I don't think
you're doing it right.

Cindy, come on!

- Baby, it's supposed to hurt,
okay?

It's foreign.

- Ow!
God damn it!

- You want me to stop?

- No.

I... I can take it.

Go ahead.
- Thank you.

- You just keep practicing
and..

[cup pops]
- Ooh, that was good.

[pops]
- Okay.

- It's not sticking.
- All right, I think we did it.

That's good, I feel good--
- No, no, no, no, no.

We're not even close.
We're not even close, honey.

- [screams]

[birds chirping,
woman yells in the distance]

Hey.
[laughs]

Oh, it's--it's foreign.

- Can we come in?

- Yeah.
Come on in.

So is this a social call, or..

- I need intel on Eve Raytek.

- The chief of police?

Whoo!
- Can you do it?

- Cindy, tell 'em
what I can do.

- Oh, he's double jointed,
so, you know, he can..

- Anything.

The answer is
I can do anything.

For a price.



- 3.

And I won't hit you again.

Half now,
half when you deliver.

And Singe goes with.

- [laughs]
She's joking.

- Cool.

- What?

- Looks like it's just you
and me, Murtaugh.

Let me get my stuff.

Hell yeah, man.

- Put this on my tab?

- Ah, hell,
that's on the house.

- Thank you.

- Allegra?
[scoffs]

That's unbelievable.

- Wow.

Your aura...

is extremely blue.

- Is that a good thing?

- I have no idea.

But I am into it.

[distant radio chatter]

- God damn it.

[slurps noisily]

- It'd work better
if you took the safety off.

Just a check-in.

- I don't need a babysitter.

- You got the k*ll order
weeks ago.

Somehow, Spivey's still
sucking down Cervezas

in his tacky-a*s pad.

- It's not that simple.

- Only two reasons
boss would've hired

a pencil-necked pig like you.

Either you're the best k*ller
in the world,

which clearly you ain't,

or you're the worst,

meaning he didn't want it done.

- Why wouldn't he want it done?

- f*cking Spivey.

The most dangerous thing
about that c*cksucker?

People like him.

Especially the boss.

Do you like him,
Officer Gene Colder?

- Captain Gene Colder.

And no, I don't like him.

I think he's a despicable,
Un-American piece of sh*t.

So let me get on with it.

- See that you do.

Or else I will.

And if that happens,

Spivey won't be the only one
in a body bag.

[tense music]

[elevator dings]

[cool rock music]

- You do realize I'm a sitting
United States senator?

- So I see.

[door knob clunking]

- Open the f*cking door.

- Okay.

- You're gonna ruin me.

- Does Cyrus know
where you are?

- Hmm.

He told me not to come.

- He doesn't get
to tell you that.

- Well, who does?

[music ends abruptly,
billboard clicks]

When am I meeting
with Brattle?

- I'll set it up.

- And you're okay
with bypassing Spivey?

- It's for the best.

Jake's a real 10-gallon Texan.

You wouldn't like him anyway.
- Allegra.

I'm a Texan.

- You know what I mean.

Besides, he and I
have a history, so...

- [chuckles]

Well, if you think
there's value

in me meeting with Spivey,
then I will.

- Cyrus said no.

- Cyrus works for me.

- Okay.

I'll set it up for tomorrow.

- Any tips on your hometown?

I hear the zoo's nice.

[laughs]

- How long are we gonna keep
doing this?

- I thought you liked
doing this.

I like doing this.

- I do too.

- [groans]

[exhales sharply]

[grunts]

[funky noir music]

We'll talk about it
when I get back to D.C.

dog barking]
- I shouldn't be doing this.

This is the chief of police's
house.

- Well, Cindy says not to live
in the "shoulds."

[dog barking and growling]

- What is that?

- This is a pineapple.

But you don't wanna go
dipping this in your daiquiris.

It'll spoof
the chief's Wi-Fi signal,

forcing all her devices
to connect to it,

which gives me access
to all her information.

- That is deeply unsettling.

- [grunting] Yeah.
[dog barking]

It is. Come on.

- You done?
- We're done.

[dog growls]

We're going, sweetie.
We're going.

[dog barking]

- What happens now?

- Well, I guess we just go back
to my place,

see what we got so far,

if you're sure
she even wants it.

You know, everybody thinks
they want the truth,

and they hire me
to get it for 'em,

but at the end of the day,

they all hate me for it.

Anyways...
[clicks tongue]

It's gonna take
a couple hours.

You party?
- I'm good.

Anything turns up, Harold,
call Allegra.

- Well, at least call me
"Riggs," man!

Geez, I thought
we were doing a bit.

[phone rings]

[light Muzak playing]

- Yes?

Okay.

Conference room on the left.

- Thank you.

[liquid squishing,
spoon scraping]

- Mmm.

- Mr. Staghorne, thank you
for agreeing to meet me.

- [groans]
- Daddy.

I'm gonna let Horace
and the rest

of the editorial board
take the lead here,

but as president and publisher
of the "Chronicle,"

we're just here to observe.

Horace?

- Chief Raytek, in your mind,

what do you consider
the premiere problem

facing San Bonifacio today?

- I believe Mayor
Tony Salazar's mismanagement

has led to a stagnant economy.

- And how do you intend
to reinvigorate our economy?

- Well, thank you..
was it Linda?

- Londa.

- Lon..okay.

Thank you for the question.

Packingtown was once home
to grand factories.

- [coughing]
- And now it's gone fallow.

- [coughing louder]

- As resources have been spent

on older, wealthier
neighborhoods--

- [loud hacking]

- Is he gonna need
the Heimlich?

- Daddy, what's bothering you?

- Your thundering nonsense
is what's bothering me.

You understand what a city is?

Do you, you simplistic cow?

Nah, no, you don't.

- Daddy.

- A city's a living thing.

Inside of it,
there are noble organs,

and Packingtown

is this city's large intestine.

Its rectum.

It's a place for filth.

For runoff.

It is riddled with parasites.

And you would offer
to empower them.

The Mexicans, the women,

new money trash
like Jake Spivey.

No!

You don't win an election
in this city.

You accept our offer to serve.

[tense music]

- It appears the board will not
be endorsing at this time.

- Stuff it, Londa.

- It's 5:00 pm., Gene.

Screw you.
I'm done.

[sighs]

[pleasant music]

[music speeding up]

[music normalizes]

Hey there.
It's Luke.

You busy?

- No, not there.

It's not safe.
[recording rewinds]

It's not safe.
[recording rewinds]

It's not safe.
[phone ringing, buzzing]

- Tell me you have something.

- Well, not much.

Can you believe she orders
them sh*t-kicking boots

from Maine?

- Harold.
[microwave beeps]

- Well, she keeps
a pretty low profile.

Some dating apps.

Apparently, our chief prefers
the company of..

- I don't care about that.

- Are you sure?
- Yes.

- Okay.

Well, she's a vet.

Did you know that?

She keeps pretty tight
with her army buddies.

E-Cards, group chats,
sh*t like that.

- Anything else?

- Well, the damndest thing

is that the person
she's been researching the most

is you.

- That all?

- Yeah, for now.

But I'll keep digging.

And you just come on by later,
okay?

Oh, wait,
there is one more thing.

Does the name "Clyde Brattle"

mean anything to you?

Hello?

[cork pops]

- Luke, what am I doing here?

You know I don't do divorces.

- You were nice to me.

- I'm a get a paper..
- No, no, nope, nope, nope.

My husband moved me



just so he could shack up
with another woman.

[laughs]

He can keep the rug.

- You are taking this
in stride.

- Look at me.

I am 135 pounds

of Grade-A American honey,

and I'm getting out
while the getting's good.

And I go fast.

Think you can keep up with me?

- Who took the bomp?

[Le Tigre's "Deceptacon”]

[upbeat rock music]

- Come on!

[laughs]
- What is happening?

- Come on!
- All right.

- [laughs]

[cheering]

- I have to go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back though.

Which way?
- That way!

- That way.
- Hurry up!

Whoo!

- Every day and night

- Yeah!
Whoo!

Ow!
- Every day and night

- Whoo-hoo!

- I can see your disco,
disco d*ck

[tense musical tone]

- I'm outta time,
I'm outta f*cking time

I'm a gasoline gut
with a Vaseline mind

But wanna disco?

Wanna see me disco?

Let me hear you
depoliticize my rhyme

One, two, three, four

- [moaning]

Oh, my God.

That was incredible, Felicity.

- [sighs]
- You're incredible.

[somber music]

[children laughing distantly]

[neon sign buzzing]

[electricity crackling]

[loud echoing cacophony]

[phone ringing]

- Hi.

What..

what's that music?

What?

[tense music]

[doorbell chimes]

[loud pop music playing]

- Oh, hi!

Come on in.
Join the party.

[loud slurping]

[car engine revving]

[indistinct radio chatter]

[car door pops open]

- Yep.
I'm gonna relieve you guys.

You can head on back
to the office.

- Yes, ma'am.

- Let me know.

[indistinct chatter]

You guys can head on back.
- Finally.

Let's get this over with.

[whispers]
Come on.

Show your face, Spivey.

Here we go.

[car engine turns over]

[phone buzzes]

God damn it!

Oh, no.

- I got a problem,
and I need you to solve it.

- [gulps]
[suspenseful music]

- Jesus Christ, Jake.

I have to pull
your protection detail.

- Mm-mm.

Bullshit.
We had a deal.

- I held up my end.

You have any idea
how much scrubbing it took

to clean up your mess?

Dead bodies,

burned buildings,
runaway migrants.

- Well,
things kind of got away--

- Hey, hey.
Wake up.

We have to develop Packingtown.

The Staghornes are gonna fight
like hell to stop us.

- Yeah, well,

you know I can't do
a damn thing

unless I got immunity.

We're just gonna have to be
patient.

- Oh, don't tell me
about patience, Jake.

I spent half my life

being stepped on by assholes
like the Staghornes

and the other half
changing the diapers

of whiny little b*tches
like you.

It's my time now.

[tense music]

Tell your girlfriend
to get it done.

- [muttering]
Not my girlfriend.

[Italian music]

- Andiamo!

[laughs]

This is exactly
how they serve them in Italy.

- Lucretia...

[music distorting]

Did you spy on my sister?

[distorted Italian music]

- A little bit.

That's bad, right?

I just needed to know.

She was so nice to me

at the potluck.

Everyone said
she was always like that,

and I thought,

"How could someone so nice

do something so awful?"

Can you tell me that?

Why would your sister
wanna hurt me?

[white noise]

- I don't know.

- Bleh.
[laughs]

Anyway, one good thing

in this godforsaken hellhole
of a town,

there is a guy

who can find out anything
about anyone.

[pills rattle]

Where they're going,
what they're doing,

what kind of noises they make
when they're f*cking.

And all it costs is money.

[voice breaking]
Isn't that great?

[door shuts]
- Lucretia!

Lucretia!

- Oh, here's my loving husband
now.

- Luke, what's going on?

- We were just leaving.

- That's a good idea.

- Sorry about the rug.

- What did you say to them?

- Oh, I'm so sorry, Gene.

Is it embarrassing for you
when I talk?

- Luke, what did you--
- You k*lled my cat!

- We need to go through
Harold's files.

He was stalking Felicity
for two different people!

- He's a criminal.

Look, you ever think
there was a reason

why Felicity never asked you
for help?

The only thing
she ever did for you

was leave you
an insurance policy,

which you refuse to accept.

- I don't wanna be paid
for my sister's death.

- And I don't want you to die
because of it!

And neither did she.

I got you out of that car
before it exploded.

And you keep trying
to climb back into it.

It never ends.

Hell, maybe it's for the best.

At least this way, you don't
actually have to say good-bye.

- f*ck you.

- Lucretia!
- I made you something.

Petit fours
with homemade ganache.

- But you hate sweets.

- Mmm.
That--that's delicious.

- I know.

- What's the filling?
It's..

- Butterscotch.

Your favorite, right?

- Mm-hmm.

- I love you, Butterscotch.

[tense music]

- You bugged me?

[spits]

You can go to jail for this.

And there is not a jury
in Texas

that wouldn't convict you.

- Stop it, Gene.
Stop it. Stop.

- Oh, you better hope

that shirtless freak
didn't keep records.

Because if he did--
- Stop!

- I will bust him personally
and see that you rot

for the rest of your life
in a padded cell.

Do you understand me,
you psychotic..

- Stop!
- Pathetic, paranoid..

f*ck!
- [high-pitched] Enough!

Gene.

It's okay.
I can fix this!

- I do love a crisp bill,
you know?

Just feels right in the hand.

Mm.

Wanna see what else I found?

It's pretty good.

- Uh, may I use the bathroom
first?

- Sure, sure.

Just don't touch
the kombucha mother.

She's sensitive.

- Hal,
look at these girls' hats.

- Oh, sh*t.

- Looks like a flock
of seagulls.

- Yeah.
We need to get one of them.

For the talent show.
Don't you think?

We could make that.

- Think
I could reproduce that.

- I know you could, girl.

- A little hot glue.

- A little hot glue,
some, uh...

[tense music]

- [laughs]

- Now what's she doing
in there?

- I don't know.

Hair like that, it probably
needs some retouching.

- Baby.

- Can you grab my moisturizer
from the bedroom?

- Baby, I just sat down.

I'm tired.

- You know how much I need
my night lotion.

- All right.

- Please.
- All right.

- Thank you.

It's on the nightstand, baby.
Where we left it.

It's a pink top
with a little baby on it.

- Yeah, yeah, I know.

- It's got Shea butter, baby.

Make sure it's the one
with Shea butter!

[doorbell rings, knocking]

Someone at the door.

- Don't--
it's always something.

Don't worry.
- What? Hey!

- I got it.
- They're wet.

- Well, well.

Lookie who we have here.

[g*nsh*t]

- Hal?
[gasps]

[screams]

Help!

Help!

[sobbing]
Oh, my God!

Baby.
Oh, my God.

[sobs]

[cheers and applause]

[upbeat country music]

- Hello, San Bonifacio!

[cheers and applause]

It is such a pleasure
to be here tonight.

Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

Now, I know you don't
make sugar here anymore,

but I got to say,

you look pretty sweet to me.

[laughs]
[cheers and applause]

Now, I'd like to thank
my lovely wife Sonia

for being with me here tonight.

[man shouts]

[cheers and applause]

If it wasn't for this woman
right here,

I wouldn't be half the man
that I am today.

[cheers and applause]

[siren blares]

- We got eyes on her.

- And it's because of the love
that I have for her

that I'm so committed
to these three little words.

Say them with me.

Faith, family, fidelity.

Faith, family, fidelity.

- [laughs]
[cheers and applause]

[upbeat rock music]

Faith, family, fidelity.

Faith, family..

- Thanks.

They got her.

I didn't think
she could k*ll anyone.

She really loved the cat.

[sniffles and sighs]

- I'm so sorry.

- Thanks, Dill.

You want something?
Coffee?

- Sure.

[indistinct radio chatter]

[envelopes rustling]

- Howdy.

- Show?

- Yes, sir.

Uh...

Sir, uh, you can't--
- I'll handle this.

[sighs]

[tense music]

[door closes]

[footsteps approach]

- Well, well, well.

This brings back memories.

How long's it been

since I found you
in a room like this?

Ten years?

- 12.

- 12 years.

Incredible.

We've made quite the team.

You know, in the days
after your arrest,

Congressman Danville and I
spent quite a bit of time

speculating
as to why the person

charged
with attempted blackmail

was keeping so silent
behind bars.

- Because I knew
someone like you

would eventually show up.

- And when I did,

I recognized something in you,
Allegra Dill.

Something feral yet controlled.

- Get to the point.

- I heard you got your meeting
for Jake Spivey.

Congratulations.

This was the first time
you've disobeyed me.

It is also the last.

12 years ago, I took you
out of a place like this.

I will not hesitate
to put you back in.

Permanently.

[door closes]

[door closes]

[footsteps approaching]

- God damn it, Pick.

You nearly gave me
a heart attack.

- Lalo Levantes is dead.

Brattle k*lled him.

- We're gonna get him back
for this.

- It's not just him, Jake.
It's this place.

It takes poor people,
young people,

anyone who wants
to make a difference

and grinds them to dust.

[somber music]

Felicity.

Lalo.

Us.

Is this Packingtown?

- Yeah.

What do you think?

- Jesus Christ, Jake.
A water park?

- Well, people deserve
to have fun, Pick.

Time to turn the tables
on these b*stards.

Once and for all.

- I got you your meeting.

With the senator.

- My girl.

[laughs]

- Tomorrow morning.

It's the only play
we have left, Jake.

It's just us now,
and I need you to win.

- Of course I'm gonna win.

- You're not listening.

I need you to win.

One meeting.

We both get free.

- All right.

Talking's never been a problem
for me.

[tense music]

- And you tell him everything.
- Yeah.

Swear to Christmas.

- About Al-Namur?

- Ain't the bad guy, Pick.

- So prove it.

Tell the senator everything.
He's a good man.

He'll listen.

- Well, all right, sure,
darling, whatever you want.

I'll... I'll spill

like one of them oil tankers
in the '80's.

Just us, huh?