11x24 & 11x25 & 11x26 - Work from Home/Bed and Breakfast

[bunniefuu]

What happened to
the dead bird

that was in the street?

Uh, I think it, like,
flew away or something.

Excuse me.
I'm trying to find my Airbnb.

Uh, what?

I booked this place
to stay tonight,

and I can't find it.
I'm looking for my Airbnb.

Excuse me, ma'am.

She means us.

We're B&B.

- We are?
- Yeah, dumbass.

I'm Butt-Head,
and you're a butthole.

Whoa.

Letters are cool, yeah.

Uh, if you're
looking for B&B,

you've come to
the right place, baby.

Yeah, that's right.
Yeah.

We're the B&B. Yeah.

Oh, thank God.

I drove all the way
from Phoenix.

So I guess
I'm staying here tonight.

Wow.

I can't believe it, Butt-Head.

She drove all the way
from Phoenix looking for us.

And she wants to stay
here tonight with B&B?

She wants to score
with both of us.

I'm just gonna bring
my suitcase in the house.

Yeah.
That's cool.

Man, this is the luckiest
thing that ever happened

to us, Butt-Head.
- It's not luck, Beavis.

We believed in ourselves,
and it paid off.

We put that out
in the universe.

"Put out."

OK, this isn't what it looked
like in the pictures at all.

Where's the pool table?

- Wow.
- Disgusting.

I can't believe
we're finally gonna score.

This is unacceptable.

Is there someone else
I can talk to?

Are your parents here?

Well, my mom went out
for cigarettes,

so she's usually back
in, like, three days.

Yeah.

So that gives us
some alone time.

OK.

It's too late for me to find
another place to stay tonight.

Can I at least have some
clean sheets and towels?

Clean what?

Clean sheets and towels?

God, I am leaving
a terrible review.

Um, Butt-Head,
I don't think she's gonna score

with us until we bring her
clean sheets and towels.

Ew, the floor
is, like, black!

Chicks are weird, Beavis.

Yeah, I don't know
why we bother.

Ugh!

Is this, like,
one of those restaurants

in a castle, you know?

Uh, like Medieval Times?

Here at my castle,
we are known for our s'mores.

The orthodontist
told me not to eat s'mores

because I have braces.
Yes.

I'm being very naughty.

This guy kind of looks
like you, Butt-Head.

But he's, like,
way better looking, you know?

Uh, no way.

I'm better looking
than this guy.

I look cool.

But when I grow up,
I want to start a restaurant

like this, where, like,
I just stare at people.

And it'll be called
Butt-Head's Place.

People will come in,
and they'll be like, uh,

can I see a menu?
And then I'll just do this.

♪ Tell me ♪

Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, like this guy.

Yeah.

I'd eat there.

So what kind of food
would you have?

Uh, like nachos and, uh...

uh... I'll put someone else
in charge of the food.

I'll just be there to stare.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

This reminds me of
that time that your mom

thought it was Thanksgiving,

but it was actually
an intervention.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

It didn't work.

And it was August.

That was actually one of the
better interventions, you know?

There was
a fight at that one, yeah.

He's like, "Uh...

I forgot my lines."

Yeah, just throw her on the
chair, and I'll think of it.

Duh...

Oh, I remember.

My name is Hozier.

Yes, yes, we know, Hozier.

Just sit in the chair and
stare at the girl, please.

Yeah.

Will you be Hozier's friend?

Does everyone have to do
laundry before they score?

Probably.

That's why there's
so many people here.

Oh, yeah.

Uh, what do we do?

I think we put it, like,
in the washing machine?

You know how to do laundry.

Shut up.
I do not.

Wuss.

Yeah, OK, um,
OK, let me see, um...

And there we go.

So now we just wait
for it to be done.

What the hell's
taking so long?

We have to get back and score.
Come on!

Finally.

Our laundry looks different.

Uh, that's because
it's, like, clean.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Whoa.

This towel got clean,
and now it looks like a bra.

Cool.

We should have laundried it
a long time ago.

Yeah, yeah, really.

Laundry kicks a*s.

Here you go, lady.

Clean sheets and towels.

So, do you want us to put these
in the bedroom,

or do you want to start
this party

right here on the floor?

Um, who's this guy?

This is Paul.

He's the other name
on the reservation.

Oh, hey.

Did you get us clean sheets
and towels?

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, we didn't want
to, but it's the only way

she'll let us score.

They're all wet.

Ugh, this place
is a disaster.

I'm so sorry.
- It's all right, babe.

I got us a hotel for tomorrow.

Let's just try to make the best
of it for one night, OK?

OK.

So, like, uh, Paul,
you should probably go,

'cause we're about to, like,
you know, do some stuff here.

Yeah, like,
get busy, you know.

Yeah, I'm sure you guys
are really busy.

So thanks so much.
We don't need anything else.

We're all set.

We're kind of tired, so...

Yeah, we did laundry,
like you said.

We're B&B.

Yeah, totally.

We just could use
a little privacy.

So, you know...
- Huh?

- Uh, what?
- Thanks so much.

And I'm sure we'll see you
tomorrow when we check out.

Uh, what?

Eh.
It's locked.

This sucks.

That guy better not be
scoring with our chick.

Look in the window.

They pulled down
the shades, Butt-Head.

Well, there's a hole
you can look through.

Get up there.

OK, OK, yeah.

Ugh.

Hole.

You said "hole."

Do you see them?

Yeah they're
sitting on the couch.

Ah!
I can see his butt!

Uh, can you see his schlong?

I think, uh, yeah, yeah.

Uh, no.
Yeah.

No. Yeah.
No. Yeah.

No, yeah, no, yeah. no, yeah,
no, no, no, no.

I think he's scoring with her.

Yeah.

- Damn it.
- Ahh!

Now what do we do?

Maybe we could go back
to that laundromat place

and see if there's another bra
there or something.

Oh, yeah.

Bras rule.

Chirp.

♪ MTV ♪

Well,
today's the day, Beavis.

We got some weights, and
we're finally gonna get swole.

Yep.

We're always talking
about getting ripped.

Finally time to do it.
Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Ugh.

Oh, yeah. There we go.

Getting some gains.

I think
I'm already pretty jacked.

Excuse me, I live downstairs.
What is that noise?

Uh, what noise?

Yeah, we might be, like,
too swole to hear it.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, could you
just please be quieter?

I work from home.
- Whoa.

You work from home?

So you, like, live at your job?

Right, so it's important
that it's quiet so I can work.

Then it's a good thing
you live at your job

and not downstairs
'cause these weights

probably make a lot of noise.

Just please stop
with the noise.

Did you hear that, Beavis?

That butthole lives at his job.

Lucky son of a b*tch.

We have to live in
this apartment that sucks.

Yeah, really.
It's a mess.

No one ever does
anything about it.

Yeah, yeah.

It didn't look like this
when we moved in.

Somebody pulled
a fast one on us.

Yeah.

Wait a second, Beavis.

If we had a job
in a place that's better

than our apartment,
we could live there instead.

We used to have jobs
at Burger World.

There was always food there,
as I recall, yeah.

I bet we still have
our old uniforms.

So I looked
at your applications,

and your names are
already in the system.

Look, I'm in a bind here.

Can you take the shift
right now?

Reuben and Andre flaked.

Uh, yeah.

And we brought
our suitcases, yeah.

I'll go get
your paperwork going.

Well, Beavis, let's move in.

Yeah.

Now we're talking.

Home sweet home.

♪ Walk on by ♪

Whoa.
Whoa, what is that thing?

Uh, I think it's, like,
from Dr. Seuss or something.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

You know, the thing about
Dr. Seuss is,

he's not very good, you know?

It's like, he'll say, like,

"There's a cloothplush
on my toothbrush,"

and he just draws
a fake animal, you know?

Anyone could do that.

Dr. Seuss sucks.

See, it's like
that chick there,

you know, I could say,
"Oh, that chick is named Zood,

and she gives me wood, see?"

Uh... whoa.

That was pretty good, Beavis.

Whoa, we should write
a children's book.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I mean,
it's easy, you know?

Anyone can do it.

Uh, we'll call it
"Zong and His Schlong."

Or I know, I know.

Is this the land of Zoing?

That's where I'm going.

Because the chicks there
make me go, boi-oi-oi-oing.

And then, like,
that animal there,

we could call it a Lumbass.

And then, like, someone
could say, "What is that?

It is a Lumbass, you dumbass."

Next thing you know,
we're beloved by children.

Yeah.

There once was a Kwut
who looked like a butt.

When he stood up,
people said, uh, what?

Or something.

Yeah, yeah, see?
See?

That's like-- that's like


Oh, yeah.

OK, Beavis, get to work
drawing a Kwut.

OK, yeah.

Yeah, OK,
what does it look like?

Uh, I already told you.

He looks like a butt.

You're just like the Lumbass
who's a dumbass.

Oh, yeah.

I love that guy, yeah.

OK, let me put that in there.

Wait a minute.

You know, "Lumbass the Dumbass"
could be a whole other book.

We could have two books.

Uh... oh, yeah.

I mean, you could do
a whole series, you know?

You could do, like, um,

"Kwut the Butt
Goes to the Doctor."

Yeah.

His name was Dr. Zucks,
and he sucks.

Boy, this stuff
just writes itself.

Yeah.

He had a friend
named McVestibles,

who looked like
a pair of testicles.

Yeah,
we'll probably even, like,

win an award for, like,
teaching kids about their--

you know, their body parts.
You know, we make it fun.

The award was
called the Schnads,

and it looked like
a pair of golden nads.

Oh, oh,
and then maybe someone

will make it into a movie,
so we don't have to read it.

Yeah.

Th-- that would be cool.

You know how people
always say the book

was better than the movie?

No one will say that
about this movie.

Yeah, it's gonna be cool.

It doesn't get any better
than this, Beavis.

Yep, we should have lived
at Burger World years ago.

Hello?
Does anyone work here?

Yes.
And we also live here.

Yeah.

Someone's at the drive-thru.

Can you get me
a BW Junior Meal?

- Can you get me some beers?
- What?

Yeah, see, um,
we actually live here,

so we need some beers.
You've got a car, right?

Don't you work here?

Yeah, yeah,
that's what I'm saying,

but we also live here.

So can you get us some beers?

We only have six left,

and we're taking them down
pretty good.

Thank you. Drive through.

Some chick at the drive-thru

is going to make
a beer run for us.

Well, as long as
we're hanging out at home,

let's get swole.
- Yeah, cool.

Between the new place,
the new job,

and getting in shape,
things have never been better.

Yeah, we're, like,
getting our lives together.

Let's just go.

Hey, I hate
to do this to you,

but Annabelle called in sick.

Could you possibly
do the closing shift

and count the register?
- Yeah.

We're not going anywhere.

Yeah, we live here.

Yeah.

You practically do.

You guys are gonna go far
with that attitude.

Uh, I forgot who that guy is.

Yeah, it doesn't matter.

You know what, Beavis?

Let's celebrate
our first day in our new home

and go out for dinner.

Good idea, Butt-Head.

Yeah.

Let me just borrow some money
from the register here.

Yeah, look at this.

We live close to
so many great places to eat.

It's all about location.

Two taco grandes, please.

We're your new neighbors.

We just moved into Burger World
across the street.

Yep, we live there.

Yeah.

There's this chick
coming by with beers

later, too, yeah.

We left the door open for her.

So you just left
the Burger World empty

with the door unlocked?
- Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, she's really cool.
She's got a car.

Did you lock
the cash register?

Uh, no.

If I lock it, it's harder
to take the money out.

Yeah, we left it open
so you can take the money out

real easy, you know.

It's a lot of money in there.

You just open the drawer
and take it.

It's pretty cool.
Neat system, yeah.

Well, here's
to work from home.

Yep.

That's the way of the future.

Uh-huh.

I wonder if they're gonna
have scoring from home.

Probably with computers,
you know?

Yeah.

We'll be dead by then.

Whoa!

Looks like there's a party
going on in our Burger World.

Look.

Uh, that chick must have
shown up with the beer

and started without us.

I like her style, yeah.

Whoa.

This neighborhood
knows how to party.

And all the money's gone
from the register.

That's OK.

We'll make it
all back tomorrow.

Our place pays
for itself now, Beavis.

We finally turned
our life around.

Good night, Beavis.

Good night, Butt-Head.

"Lumbass the Dumbass,"

by Dr. Beavis
and Dr. Butt-Head,

because Dr. Seuss sucks.

Way down in the land
of Ziggity-Zutthole,

there lived a guy
who was kind of a butthole.

He was a weird-looking guy
whose name was Lumbass.

He sucked.
He was a real dumbass.

Lumbass the dumbass
sat around and ate smachos,

which was a food pretty much
exactly like nachos.

Lumbass knew a chick
in the hood

named Zanktis Zunkey.

She gave him wood,
so he spanked his monkey.

Yeah.

She had an even hotter friend

named Zoing-oing-oing-oing.

Lumbass took one look
at her and said,

"Boing-oing-oing-oing."

And there was
this other hot chick

whose name was Jutt-Head.

And she was like,
"I want to score

with Butt-Head."

She lived in a town
called Shmeavis Blucks.

Yeah, that's a cool name.

Where everyone liked to say,

"Beavis sucks."
Hey. Wait a second.

Who wrote this?

What happened
to the part about me

scoring and drinking gleers?

Uh, what are gleers?

They get you drunker
than beers.

You have to leave.

You can't keep
coming back in here.

Uh, can we at least
use the computer

to look at some websites?

Yeah.

- Get out.
- This sucks.

Yeah, my tax dollars
pay for this library!

Uh, we don't pay taxes.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Well, we get taxes
or something.