01x10 - Hair Show

[bunniefuu]

All right, great show, everyone.

All right, now I know everyone's excited

for the Atlanta Hair Show this weekend.

- Ooh, yeah!

- Okay, but I'm asking people

not to party too hard.

I have to say this every year,

the Monday after the Hair Show

is not a holiday.

- Come on.

- Aw, man.

Come on, Mika, with all

the wild wigs and hairdos,

it's like watching the

Super Bowl at a Black church.

But if people are looking for

alternative community events,

I'm starring in a musical adaptation

of the movie "Cats."

Tami, ain't nobody trying to see that.

Put me down for a comp, girl.

Guys, we are "Wake Up

with Kenan" ambassadors, okay?

We represent the show.

So it's our responsibility

to act with dignity at all times.

You want people to keep level-headed

for the world's largest ponytail,

a champagne curling iron challenge

The perm-zilla, monster of hot oil?

That doesn't change anything.

And the Black Hair Model Vanguard Award.

"Recognizing pioneers

of Black hair modeling

from relaxer boxes

to salon styling posters."

Mika, do people even know that

you used to be a hair model?

No, look, Kenan,

that was a long time ago, okay?

I just did it to pay for college.

It was a stupid part of my past.

Okay, so you don't care

that they just put out

- the nominees list

- No.

And, uh, you're one of them?

Y'all, Mika just got nominated for

a Black Hair Model

Vanguard Award, y'all!

Yay, Mika.

- Oh, okay.

- Okay.

Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo!

- Yes, yes. Now

- Wow, okay.

Let's always remember

to act with dignity at all times.

What's up, nominee?

Stop, it's not that big of a deal.

Yes, it is.

And I had a great idea

for a remote segment.

Maybe we follow you

around the Hair Show.

Yeah, it could be like

a female empowerment "whatchacallit."

And you can come with me and my girls

and we could sh**t you

teaching them, like, girl junk

and just making sure

they're having a good time

- and never leaving their side.

- So do you want me to do

a remote female empowerment

"whatchacallit" thing,

or do you just want me

to come to the Hair Show

to be a buffer

'cause your mother-in-law's in town?

Look, Tasha's great on her own.

But her and Rick together?

Their arguments have only gotten worse.

You know they fought about

global warming?

They both think it's a hoax

but two very different kinds.

After 30 years, it's like either

submit a tape to Bravo

or be done with it already.

So, please?

I mean, the Hair Show

is the girls' favorite,

and I don't want their

grandparents ruining it.

Of course I'll be there.

But just to be clear,

the segment idea was

- Totally fake.

- Okay, figured as much.

It's totally fine.

Happy to be there for my babies.

Just to be clear, I meant

the girls are my babies,

not you and the girls.

Yeah, no, totally.

I mean, I would never presume

to be one of said babies.

Oh, my gosh.

Get a room, you two.

- What?

- What?

- No.

- What? No!

What, no.

Although, she probably meant

the conference room.

Oh, well, yeah.

Well, what she doesn't know is that

"Morning Bubbles" already

has the conference room,

- so we couldn't get a room.

- Exactly.

- We showed her.

- Yeah.

Your mom sure had

a lot of stuff for y'all.

Look, straighteners, curlers,

straighten-lers.

I mean, what even is

a long beachy waves crimper?

Wasn't Snoop Dog a Long Beach Crimp?

Nice.

You don't have to do our hair, Daddy.

We can just go and have fun.

What? No, having your hair all crazy

is, like, the whole thing.

I've been watching

YouTube videos all morning.

I got this.

I don't know, even I don't understand

the "nuancé"

of this child's curl pattern.

Why don't I just pay

a professional to come do it?

Ooh, is that on the table?

Uh, no, it's not.

Yeah, Tasha. You can't always just throw

your new husband's money at everything.

- Gold digger.

- What's a gold digger?

It's what your Papa Rick wants to think

is the reason why I left him.

When in fact, it's because Papa Rick

likes to have flight attendants

- sit on his lap.

- It was turbulence.

Let's not have a little

fight in front of the girls.

- At the airport Chili's?

- Yes, yes.

You know what, why don't

y'all go play in your room?

But it's just getting good.

Yeah, they haven't even

started cursing yet.

Oh, I'm sorry,

are you asking for tickles?

I can't hear you.

I can't understand what you're saying.

- Kenan, we're not fighting.

- Yeah, we're just talking

loudly and violently.

Hey, hey, hey, fam-lay!

I got good news and I got bad news.

Which one y'all want first?

I like to start with bad news.

That's why CNN's my homepage.

Okay, well, you know

my Etsy store where I sell

bootleg Gucci shirts for dogs?

- Oh, yeah, Gucci for Poochies.

- Right.

Well, it is taking off

all the hair on all them damn dogs.

Apparently the fabric I got a deal on

is considered an invasive species?

But the good news is, Kenan,

your old sitcom is coming back, baby!

What? They're rebooting

"Grown a*s Little Boy"?

- Wow.

- That is so exciting.

Yup.

Yeah, I been going back and

forth with the producers, man.

We got a major network interested.

And they won't do it

unless you agree to star.

- Yeah!

- Yeah.

- That's what's up, man!

- Thank you! Wow.

It'll be nice to get back

to some real acting around here

besides what I'm always

doing with the girls.

"Uh, Chloe said what in Biology?

No!"

And it's only, like,

three months away in LA.

Man, I can't wait to get out

there and just tell everybody

how I miss seasons and how a scarf

don't go with shorts. That's weird.

Wait, you said three months?

- Away?

- Mm-hmm.

That's like a whole lobsterfest.

I thought this was kind of

a no-brainer, bro.

AW, leave him alone, G-man.

Some men can't handle change.

But the world needs

safe, virgin-types too.

Just because Kenan didn't

manhandle half the panhandle

doesn't make him a virgin.

Thank you, Tasha.

I think.

Okay, I got this.

- You got it. Come on. Right.

- Let's do this.

Hair Show hair ♪

Yeah, hey, hey ♪

Hold your breath.

Now's the time ♪

And I'm coming in hot ♪

Hey, I can't wait ♪

To show you what I got - Ow. ♪

Ow!

I got a little bit of this ♪

And a whole lot of that ♪

Hey, you better watch me now ♪

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

Hey, hey ♪

Are you ready? ♪

Are you ready for this?

Are you ready? ♪

Now can we call a pro?

I already did. Da-da-dun!

Presenting Miss Mika.

- Whoa, Mika.

- I had an event

for the Hair Show

so I had to go all out.

- Yes.

- First time I can remember

not doing my makeup at a stoplight.

Look at you, Mika.

Who knew under all that bossiness

was all this foxiness?

- Wow.

- Oh, you've never seen me

all done did before, have you?

Well, I guess not like this.

And like that. And like this and uh

What's going on over here?

Is he undressing her with his eyes?

Oh, come on, Rick. Not everyone is you.

All right, so Miss Vanguard

Award Nominated Hair Model,

are you ready to help my girls?

Okay, level with me. How bad is it?

Hold up, you say "how bald is it?"

- No.

- Well, you should have

- 'cause it is in a few spots.

- Okay.

Come on, I'll get your bag.

Thank you.

- Good lord, girl.

- It is not that bad.

What you got in here? All of Texas?

I'm gonna go get a drink.

None for you.

Ay, yo, yo! Atlanta Hair Show, turn up!

I do my hair toss, check my nails ♪

Baby, how you feeling?

Feeling good as hell ♪

Hair toss, check my nails ♪

Baby, how you feeling? ♪

Ooh, all right.

Hair Show day!

All right, come on, babies.

Where y'all want to start? Lead the way.

Um, let's go to the wig section first.

Ooh, yes and away!

All right, long as y'all

don't start wiggin' out.

You hear what I said? 'Cause

Was that wiggity whack?

So you know you don't have to say

all the dad jokes you know, right?

- Ooh!

- Ooh, Mika got you!

Okay, Mika, taking shots.

- Uh-huh.

- I see you.

- Pow, pow.

- Um,

I-I got an idea.

What about Tasha and Mika take the girls

and go look at all the girly stuff

and us guys will hit the dawg booths.

Check out the clippers, the beard oil.

I mean, the main reason

we came here today was

to spend time with the girls,

so I'm gonna do that.

- Wait

- Oh.

Look at that wig over there. Come on.

What are you doing?

I'm trying to keep Kenan away from Mika.

Of course you wouldn't notice

'cause you're too busy

scouting for your next husband.

There's surely someone around

here with a full head of hair

and a couple of Kia dealerships.

I know you hear this a lot

in your one good ear,

but shut the hell up.

- Pardonne?

- Listen,

- how many times do I

- I got it.

How 'bout Tasha, Kenan,

and I take the girls.

And Rick and Gary,

you guys stay and do guy stuff

and we'll all meet up later.

Great, 'cause the energy and the cologne

are toxic over here.

Come on, Meeks.

Y'all have fun.

All right, let's go find me a wig.

You know, G-man, I've been thinking.

You were right.

Kenan needs to do

"Grown a*s Little Boy."

Agreed.

Man, he'll get there.

It takes Kenan a long time

to process big changes.

Even little ones.

I mean he had a hell of a meltdown

when "Fresh Prince" replaced Aunt Viv.

- Well, we all did.

- Yeah, that's true.

But look, a good manager

doesn't let his client sit around

thinking about things.

They push them.

Hard to Los Angeles.

Well, you are my business guru

and my Insta bio does say

"big time manager."

Maybe I should start

making deals like one.

You're already nailing the lingo.

That's half the job.

Well, thank you so very much

for helping me separate Rick and Tash.

I mean, she keeps telling him

she knows where he lives,

like we don't all live there.

Look, I'm a child of divorce,

so this is every Thanksgiving.

Yeah, well, I just want

the girls to be happy today.

Yeah, they look it.

Birdie, to the right. To the right!

You're giving her a beard.

The Hair Show was always such

a big family day, you know?

And I was worried that it

would be hard on them but

Mika, is that you?

Hey, girl, hey.

Hey, girl, hey.

Hi, Candi, how are you?

Booked and blessed, okay?

Gosh, it's been so long since

modeling didn't work out for you.

Oh, well, actually, I left

modeling to pursue journalism,

which is what I'm doing now.

Oh, so precious.

I use newspapers to clean my windows.

Good luck!

You know, it would be so funny

if you won, right?

- Oh, thank you.

- Yeah.

Thank you. So good to see you.

Uh-huh.

Ladies.

God! "Thank you, so good to see you."

Mika, what?

I can't stand Candi.

She always makes me feel like

she's wearing Jordans

and I'm rocking Keds.

Come on, now. No, we're not doing that.

No pity parties today.

We got a trophy to win.

So come on,

nobody's better than you, Cori.

I mean, nobody's better

at excoriating people.

"You tell that woman off!"

Is what I was going to say

if you would let me friggin' finish.

Yeah, my bad. Sorry.

Uh question: Anybody got a extra

Spotify login I can use?

We about to run out of music.

Bro, you gotta check this out.

- You all right?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

Mm-hmm, just sitting here

quietly thriving

with my arms crossed and my head down.

Well, this'll put some pep

in your step. Gary?

Bro, the network couldn't wait

and they sent me an offer out of nowhere

and it is crazy.

How crazy?

Like we about to go to

Magic City and go Akon crazy?

Or we about to build a city

and go Akon crazy?

- Wow.

- Yeah.

- That's a lot of money.

- So what do you think?

You want to have Gary

call them right now?

- Uh, yeah.

- Oh.

Why don't you go ahead

and give them a call, Gary,

and tell them thank you,

but i-it's a pass.

But that's a huge mistake.

All right, well, truth be truth,

I'm dealing with a lot

of stress today, all right?

And I'm not about to be pushed

into some huge life change

by two people who think that Cinnabon

deserves a Michelin star.

So I need you to just

get out

of my

business!

So many bags.

Call the network,

have them up the money,

and throw in a butler.

No, make them throw in Gerard Butler.

We'll make the show a two-hander.

Rick, why are you so pressed on this?

Because of Mika.

Yeah, he's feeling Mika. Good on him.

No, not good on him.

That's why he needs to go to LA.

Because these feelings are not

"wham, bam, thank you, ma'am" feelings,

these are more like,

"wham, bam, can we start

a fam, ma'am?" feelings.

I cannot believe you landed that.

Look, man, Mika's good for Kenan.

We just got to let him

do his thing, bro.

He is not ready

for something this serious.

Or are you not ready

for something serious?

- Me?

- Mm-hmm.

No! No, no, no.

This has nothing to do with me.

This is this is wrong for Kenan.

Oh, all right.

- Me? No.

- Yes.

- That's

- Where you going?

- No, no, no.

- There's somebody.

That's, uh, sorry. Excuse me.

That's just, nah.

Oh, so you're thinking about

the Kenan thing.

- You're thinking about that?

- No.

- Okay.

- So, no.

Yo, yo, Kenan. Hold up.

Gary, man, please.

Give it a rest, all right? I said no.

Okay, you don't want to do

"Grown a*s Little Boy."

I got it, it's all good.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

All right, well, thank you, man.

- So no more pushing.

- Agreed, no more pushing.

I know it's a lot, man,

but these feelings

you got for Mika, it's good for you.

So technically, you're still pushing.

You just switched subjects.

Come on, man.

You know what's right for you.

You turning down this gig means

you have a chance to be with Mika.

What, it does?

She's practically family now, anyway.

- No, she is?

- Yes.

Practically family.

Like, like our family?

Kenan, Mika is so good with the girls.

- Oh, God.

- Yeah, she's the best.

Hey, how about a shot

of the happy family?

- Come on, Mika.

- Okay.

Oh, I'm sorry.

She's not part of our family.

- Uh

- Yeah, I mean,

you're family like, you know,

Olive Garden's family.

But she's not blood family, right?

Yeah, I guess.

Yeah, I mean, I don't make the rules.

You know, the photographer man

makes the rules.

- Oh, I really don't care.

- Yes, you do.

I mean, it's your camera,

you came over here

and asked us a question,

- so you makes the rules.

- Forget I asked.

What the hell was that?

Have you been sniffing hair relaxer?

- What?

- Yeah, Daddy.

Now you're wigging out.

- Yeah, that's right.

- Okay, you know what?

I saw a Rapunzel wall climbing

little thing over there

where the ropes

are braided hair extensions.

Why don't y'all go have a good time?

- But

- We're taking it.

That's right.

Kenan, what's up?

It's a great song. 4 Non Blondes?

Okay, look. A lot has happened today.

- Are you okay?

- He's fine.

He just

thinks you fine. There, I said it.

- Gary!

- Life's too short, man.

He likes you. Now that's in the world.

Deal with it. You're welcome.

- That's, what?

- What?

Oh, my God, she likes him back.

You can tell how they're

beatboxing with each other.

Would you two stop?

Nothing has changed between Mika and I.

We are friends.

Yeah, and like

the lightest kind of friends.

- Like, work friends.

- Yeah, that's like

me and my mailperson.

Yeah, or the cashier at my pet store.

Or, yeah, or even a pet!

You know, like, imagine

little Mika running around as

a little Labrador or something.

Yeah, she could be your best friend,

but ain't nothing gonna happen

'cause she a dog.

- Oh.

- So now I'm a dog.

Time to change for the

awards ceremony, Miss Caldwell.

Great.

- Wow.

- I'm glad we got that all settled.

Yeah, this is good.

Yo, yo, it's your boy, DJ Tristan.

Hey, the Vanguard Award is coming up.

Don't miss it.

Hey, Rick.

- You okay?

- What do you care?

I don't.

I like seeing you miserable.

But my guess is, we're feeling

some similar feelings here.

Rick, if Kenan cares for Mika,

you can't stand in their way.

Oh, well, I could try.

She's good for him.

She's good for the girls.

And we knew this day would come,

so we should be happy.

Cori would want us to be.

What if they forget about her?

Come on, that'll never happen.

Our baby is unforgettable.

How many churros have you had?

So many.

Doesn't Mika look pretty, Daddy?

Uh, I don't know.

- How the hell do you not know?

- I don't know.

Hello, my beautiful

brothers and sisters.

I'm Kurt Franklin.

That's K-U-R-T.

I know some of you are

disappointed that I'm not

the famed gospel singer, Kirk Franklin.

I am, yes.

But let's move past that

because I am your host

for the evening

Before we get this thing crackin',

I have a heavenly announcement to make.

If you are the owner

of a silver Mazda3,

you're being towed.

That sounds like Keisha's car.

You're being towed, Keisha.

I tried to told you.

Now let's stop wasting the Lord's time

and get on and meet the nominees

of the Black Hair Model Vanguard Award.

You know it's not a crime

to be happy, right?

Yeah, I guess.

Man, you gonna figure it out.

Mm, mm, mm. All of it.

But there can only be one winner.

And the winner is

Candi Bowers.

Oh, hell no.

- Yes, it is. Excuse me.

- Oh.

Thank you. I can't believe

I won another award.

- Congratulations.

- I'd like to say that I'm surprised

Sorry, real quick.

Candi, I'ma let you finish,

you know what I'm saying?

But I just got to say, yo.

Like, yo, Mika got

the best hair of all time.

Like, how y'all gon' front on

the girl that brought y'all

the OG blonde box hair look?

And then she went back to

school and got her master's

and now she's running

the number two morning show

- in Atlanta.

- Yeah, yeah!

Okay, she didn't win y'all's

Black Hair Model Award,

but to me,

she's the best role model for my girls.

And for women everywhere,

for that matter.

So thank y'all for listening

and Candi, I'm gonna

give you back the mic

with due respect.

I said "with all due respect," man!

Where you trying to take me, bruh?

Sorry I almost had to whoop that a*s.

Didn't recognize you till after.

- It's all good, man.

- Hey, big fan.

Appreciate it. All right.

Yo, Kenan.

It's real, isn't it?

You like Mika.

Yeah, Rick. I, uh,

- I think I do.

- I have been saying this for weeks.

I gotta tell you,

this has been a toughie

- for the old Rickster.

- Me, too.

But I thought moving on

was supposed to feel good.

Don't worry, guys. No one is gonna

forget Cori, man, she's incredible.

I mean, the woman used to

sneak ramen bowls

- into the movie theater.

- Yeah, she did. Yeah, she did.

It's like "Fresh Prince"

and the two Aunt Vivs, right?

It's like, we all love

the first Aunt Viv,

then the second Aunt Viv

came in and finished strong.

But we all will never forget

that first Aunt Viv, though.

But that second Aunt Viv's there.

We hate her a little bit, on the sly,

but that's only because

the first Aunt Viv gone.

You know what I'm saying?

But the second Aunt Viv

is great and she's there

in our home. Cool.

Wait, I'm super confused now,

Gary, Start that over.

"Fresh Prince," two Aunt Vivs

- Lordy, please, don't.

- Okay, but it's a good story.

Kenan, go get her.

Oh, not that we're pushing.

Pushing is over. We are done with that.

Now I need everybody to remember

- this afterparty is VIP only.

- Wow.

So get out, Keisha!

- Hey.

- Hey.

- Listen

- Listen

- Mm. Kay.

- You go first.

Mm-kay.

I don't know what happened today.

It started off great

but then things got weird.

Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry about all that.

Anyway,

what you did at

the awards show was insane.

But also really sweet. Yeah.

No one's ever done anything

that nice for me before,

so I'm grateful to have you

in my life, Kanye.

I mean, Kenan.

Well, you know I was

talking to Gary and Rick

tonight about moving on.

Me moving on.

Yeah?

Yeah.

And I was offered a chance

to reboot my old sitcom.

Out in LA for, like, a few months.

And I'm gonna take it.

Oh.

It's just such a big change.

I know.

Thank you.

My life was torn

like windblown sand ♪

Then a rock was formed

when you held my hand ♪

Sonny one so true ♪

I love you ♪

I'm a little turned around.

- I forgot where the exit is.

- Oh, yeah, so it's where it says "exit."

- Oh, I see it now.

- Sign.

Right, thanks for your time.

It's straight ahead.

Hey, um,

thank you for earlier.

Well, it reminded me of a time

when we didn't hate each other.

Back when "apps" only meant

jalapeño poppers.

We had fun.

Remember that time we stole the boat

and watched the sunrise?

- That was you, right?

- Oh, stop.

Hey, you okay, man?

Yeah, for sure.

Good, 'cause my back hurts, man.

These girls are heavy.

- These girls are small but dense.

- God, my knees.