Alice.
Jack?
Hi. Hmm.
Well, your picture didn't lie.
Yours is an understatement.
Do you live hear here?
I work round the corner.
Are we suggesting
we go to your office?
Oh, no. No, oh, sorry, I would
No. We'll go to my apartment.
I want to say this
in a way that's clear
..but not rude.
Get the f*ck out of here?
Don't do it. Why not?
Because she told you not to and
she threw you out of her flat.
As far as signals go,
those are pretty clear.
You ever been with
the same person twice?
Tonight'll be the first time.
This was a mistake,
this was my mistake.
People will usually disappoint you.
I mean, look, there's 7.5 million
people in this city.
There's got to be at least a couple
of hundred thousand of them
that are lovely.
We just have to find a great one.
I don't think
I could function knowing
I had a child out in the world that
I wasn't taking care of.
Lovey?
Who's Alice?
She's an ex. She's here.
Crystal's bringing her through.
Oh, sh*t.
Oh, sh*t.
You have three options. Option one -
do not even think about
accompanying Alice
to her mother's funeral.
It's my personal favourite,
in so much as it preserves
the happy status quo
and leaves Alice to
the pages of history -
where, in my opinion, she belongs.
Option two.
Lie.
Lie like a rug. Just say it's work
or something and go.
Not very Jack-like, but it's not
as though you'll get caught.
Option three -
ask Lynn if it would
bother her if you went.
Ostensibly, this is respectful
but it's actually manipulative,
because it puts Lynn
in a terrible position.
Either she says it would bother her,
and risks appearing insecure,
or she says it wouldn't bother her,
avoids appearing insecure,
but it plants a small,
emotionally cancerous nugget, and
your marriage may never recover.
I wouldn't advise option three,
but if you choose it you
must then choose between
subtactic A, which is
lie about Alice's status
in the rabbit-warren
that is your psyche.
Cast the whole funeral as a sort of
mission of mercy undertaken
for old time's sake - which you
might think is the truth
but which I think is
actually as big a lie as
the other one. And which is not,
by the way, guaranteed to prevent
the cancerous nugget.
Or subtactic B -
tell Lynn the whole,
unvarnished truth about Alice,
which is every bit as bad
an idea as it was this morning.
That's my analysis.
Sorry, love, I think some people
just aren't supposed to wear ties.
It's a show of respect to make her
feel better about her situation.
She's a pregnant woman
with syphilis.
AND she lives in Kent.
Thank you for doing this.
Do you wanna tell me why you dread
seeing your dad so much?
Is that the fare?
No.
Thank you.
You look brilliant in your tie.
You know when I go?
Will you try and find me a cemetery
that's really beautiful
with a little plot next
to people who look like they
could've been interesting?
So, it'll be up to me?
Of course it will.
Here we go. Here we go.
That's my dad.
Er Hello, Alice.
Right, well, er
Jack, this is Randall.
Pleased to meet you.
Pleased to meet you.
I'm sorry for your loss.
Yeah, she was
..one of the greats, Jack.
I'm sure she was.
Erm, haveyou still got
your parents?
Neither, I'm afraid.
Oh, no.
They must have been so young.
Big hearts, but not strong ones,
unfortunately.
Well, erm
I thank you for coming
and being there for my Alice.
Of course.
God will show us the path of life.
In His presence,
there is the fullness of joy
..and in His right hand,
there is pleasure for evermore.
For so much as it hath pleased
Almighty God of His great mercy
..to take unto Himself the soul
of our dear sister Agnes
..here departed.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Randall?
Is he all right?
Excuse me, sorry. Randall.
Randall. Hey, Randall.
Somebody call an ambulance, please.
Randall? Randall? Randall?
Randall, can you hear me?
Randall.
Randall.
The deceased, Randall H Long,
was the widower of Agnes Long -
who herself passed away
just a couple of days ago
There we go, there we go.
..attended with family
and long-time friends.
Mr Long apparently became distressed
and then collapsed from what appears
to have been a cerebral haemorrhage,
as the vicar
and the mourners looked on.
Mr Long was pronounced
dead at the scene.
Alice.
Hey.
Hey, there, bubba.
Sh, sh, shush, shush.
Er
..that's not
We should probably talk.
Yeah.
What percentage of the days,
since I've known you,
have youthought about her?
100%.
100% of the days?
Yeah. And what percentage of those
days Lynn, please
What percentage of those days
we were dating -
including the day
that you asked me -
asked me! -
..conned me, defrauded me
into marrying you
She was in the past
What percent What percentage
of those days
did you think about her?
100%.
I should have
I should have spat on you
in the park.
I should have thrown you out
of the taxi. I didn't know it
was still alive. It was a scar.
It had faded. I I thought it was
gonna disappear completely.
I didn't know.
We are We are all
entitled to a history, Jack.
E-even if it does include
some endless heartbreak,
some boundless love. I wouldn't
have held it against you!
You would have gone
into that clinic.
Oh, my God, I gave you a chance
to tell me and you didn't take it.
And we passed that way but once
It would've been awful. Yes.
Yeah, it would have been awful.
And it would have been shitty
and you would have come across
as selfish and cruel.
But it would have been right. Do you
really wish that I had told you?
Would you rather that our daughter
wasn't lying awake in her
cot up there right now?
We give fair warning, Jack.
That's what decent people do.
This doesn't have to be
a catastrophe. Oh, my God.
Do you really think that
I could wake up tomorrow morning -
or any morning - and feel
..happy or safe or fully loved,
or anything other than angry?
Don't, don't.
So I think what
happens now is, er
..you contact one firm
and I contact another firm.
Lynn You could ask around your
office, see if anyone knows anyone,
and I'll do the same.
Jesus, Lynn!
You can sleep here
tonight on the couch,
obviously, but, er,
just do me a favour -
tomorrow, just pack a bag and go.
You can stay at
You can stay at Paul's.
He's more of a soulmate to you
than I ever was, anyways.
We'll be fine.
We'll We'll We'll function
as divorced parents
..you know, because
..we actually entered into this
with good intentions.
We were good people.
We just got
I don't know. What?
Unlucky?
I don't We shouldn't be rushing
into any decisions
Oh, my friend
This is ..hear me.
I may be less experienced than
you in the wonders of love,
but I do know one thing
..and that is that I'm nobody's
consolation prize.
Are you going to start
up with her again after this?
No!
We can't.
And
And yet you did all this anyways.
Yeah.
Well, then, you really are stupid.
Oh, my God.
f*ck!
Hi, it's me again.
Just calling to see if you're
all right.
I'm a bit worried about you.
But I'm
..f*cking wonderful.
Call me back.
We'll agree to the higher payment if
you agree to shared custody.
My client's daughter is not
for sale.
What does that mean?
Shared custody is not in
Celia's best interest.
Her father has a history
of adulterous behaviour.
Once again, there was no adultery.
I didn't say "adultery",
I said "adulterous".
That's tricky even for you, Yvonne.
It speaks to character, as you know.
But we're happy to let
the court decide.
Course you are. All the better to
soak these people.
Whereas you are Robin Hood.
Just stop it.
Sole custody, the higher payment,
two visits per week,
two hours maximum.
My client will not let his daughter
down in that way.
He should have thought of that
before he went to his
ex-girlfriend's mother's funeral.
A minor offence in
the scheme of things
and in the eyes
of any competent judge.
He lied to his wife's face.
Yes, he's the first spouse ever
to do to that.
The higher payment plus 30%,
shared custody
two-third-to-one-third
in my client's favour, schedule TBD.
That's outrageous. We refu-
Done.
You're wildly overpaying.
Sh, don't.
He's paying through the nose.
Grab it.
That'sthat's, erm, too much.
I can manage it.
I want you to have it.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Well, erm, if you find that
you can't,
you know, we can just,
you can just tell me.
Thanks.
Are we done? Mm. Mm.
Sorry.
Alice.
Hey.
Hi.
It's good to see ya.
It's like I'm suddenly living
someone else's life.
Where are you staying?
Paul and Donna's.
And are you eating?
Because it's easy to forget to eat.
But you absolutely can't.
I'm eating lots.
You've got to make yourself sleep
even though I'm sure it's not easy
but, just stay in bed until
it happens.
Stay in sofa.
What about an apartment?
Donna knows somebody,
so after this I've gotta go out
and see a place in Forest Gate.
Let me help.
You need somewhere closer-in
than that. You like to walk.
It's all right.
I can't let you do it.
And Celia? How is she?
I haven't seen Celia in three days.
So I don't know how she is.
I'm so sorry about everything.
It's not your fault.
It's like completely
and thoroughly my fault.
Who could have seen any
of this coming. It's just
If you take that place,
will you send me pictures
and the address?
I just need to know that you're
safely, you know, ensconced.
OK.
Promise?
I promise.
How are you doing?
You said you were very good in
messages 2 through 14.
I mean, you seem very good.
Yeah, I'm the world's
happiest orphan.
That should be a T-shirt.
I'm born again. Not religiously,
but, in every other way.
That's wonderful.
The advantage of coming all the way
out here is you get much more space
for your money in
an absolutely insane market.
That's worth a slightly less elegant
finish, I'd say.
We will get the rubble removed.
I can move in right away.
Yes. Donna will be so happy.
Not that she hasn't loved having
you around.
Let's go find Saul
and pitch him the syphilis project.
I need another victory today.
Er, he said no.
I was trying to find
a way of telling you.
You pitched it without me?
Well, the meeting came,
you weren't here.
I wasn't here because
my life exploded.
Well, he knows that. That's one of
the reasons why he said no.
How does he know that?
People hear things.
What were his other reasons?
Money. He won't go out-of-pocket on
an issue that's strictly
third world.
That's what we do.
That's what we wish we did.
What we actually do, mostly,
is work for pay.
I'm gonna talk to him.
I wouldn't.
You've gone down a peg right now.
Jack Caine, model citizen
and Boy Scout is now, Jack Caine.
Why are people so
f*cking sanctimonious?
I can understand his perspective.
You can't do work that relies on
inspiration if you're ashamed.
I'm not ashamed.
Don't be ashamed of your shame.
You're one of the few people alive
who can still feel shame.
Treasure it.
Hello?
Delivery for Jack.
Hi, Jack, I'm Maya,
Alice's assistant.
Hi, Maya?
We've got a few things for you.
Come on, guys.
Where do you want this? Where d'you
want this? Erm, just the kitchen
Just the kitchen. ..I suppose.
Wow. Bedroom? Bedroom?
Bedroom. All right. There. Upstairs?
Yeah. Yeah, great, thank you.
Plants? Mm. Thank you.
And this is for while you're
watching us.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I can't pay for
Oh, no, no, there'll be no paying.
OK. Oh, it's incredible.
I mean, it is so touching
and thoughtful and everything but
All right,
all right, all right.
But I can't accept it,
you know, notnot all of it.
You went a bit bananas,
don't you think?
Let me fix what I can fix.
Alice, you sent lettuce.
Well, if you return it,
I will never forgive you.
OK. Er, but I'm paying you back
every penny, then.
It's a house-warming gift,
you moron.
It's a f*cking house, Alice.
If we keep talking about it,
it'll be completely ruined.
OK.
And you're welcome.
Er, Maya, by the way, is fantastic.
Well, you can have her, too,
if you like. Is she still there?
Yeah. She's a taskmaster.
She may have found her milieu.
You'll have to come round
and see it sometime.
Yeah? Maybe, erm,
one night this week?
Brilliant.
I'll dress the lettuce.
OK. Now.
Now.
Look who it is.
Mm.
Look who it is.
Hello, darling.
Hello, darling.
Yeah.
There we go. Hello, oh, hello.
Yeah, she's colicky, so.
Yeah, oh, man.
I feel sorry for both of you.
In you go.
Yeah, well, you'll be sorry for
yourself in a couple of hours.
Oh, it's OK, bubba.
Sh, sh, sh.
It's OK, honey. Sh.
It's OK.
Sh, sh, sh.
Come here.
There we go.
That's a nice one.
Thank you.
Er, yeah, if she, you know,
when she starts crying,
if you're at your wits' end,
just call me.
I'm sure we'll be fine.
Not that you, look it,
but I'm sure you want
a good night's sleep.
Eugh, I'm sure I do look it.
Er, breastmilk.
So, erm, freeze what you don't use
and then you can have it
for next time.
Great. Um-hm.
OK.
Sorry.
Sorry.
All right, OK,
do you want to say goodbye?
Yeah, OK, bye-bye, sweetheart.
I'll see you in the morning.
OK. Don't frighten your father
too much.
Sorry. No, sorry, yeah.
Thanks.
Here we go.
I'll see you soon.
Yeah.
Ah, come on, out we go.
Hello!
Hey. Sh.
Hi.
Celia is inside. She's sleeping.
f*ck, I'm so sorry.
I didn't think of that,
I didn't think of that.
Hey, it's fine.
It's just we said some night,
we didn't say tonight.
I should have texted.
I should have texted.
It's grand. I justI just
It's her first night here.
I don't know how I'd feel ab-
I don't know how Lynn would feel
about it. Completely understood.
It was an impulse.
I shouldn't follow those.
Oh, well, I feel bad now.
No. Don't
This is my consummate bad,
I was never here.
Goodnight.
Oh, f- No, no, here, listen,
here, listen. Just
Just come in for 30 seconds.
Have a sip of water and I'll feel
better and then you can f*ck off.
OK?
OK. But I'm only doing this
for you.
Just be quiet.
She's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen in my life.
We'd better not push our luck.
Mm.
It is very nice to see you
so happy.
I mean, I wish I understood it
better but
Oh, I don't want to
talk about that, if it's OK.
I just want to be right here
in this moment and then
maybes the next moment
will be as good as this moment
and then the next after that, and
then pretty soon you're talking
about a whole lifetime
of great moments.
Jack.
If we were gonna try again
..I'd want to take it really slow.
Be really sure.
Start on really firm footing
so that it would last, you know?
Wouldn't you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mm.
Sorry.
That might be the 30 seconds up.
f*cking hell.
Oh, no.
Oh, she's not happy.
I know.
Sh, sh, sh, sh.
Do you have a dryer?
Sh, sh, sh, sh.
Pop her in the middle of that.
All right, come on, darling, we're
going to go down just for a second.
Just for a second.
Sh, sh, sh.
Here, love, do you want that?
No, no. Hello.
There we go. Ah, she's fine. Hello.
Oh, my God, it's a miracle.
Wow.
I don't want to be too
pleased with myself.
I will pay you good money not
to leave tonight.
It's OK, I'll go.
No, I'll do it.
No, let me go.
Oh, OK, no, OK, OK.
If it fails,
then come rescue me, OK?
You're great.
I am an unswerving delight.
Thank you.
Yeah.
I'm behind you,
it's not fair, it's not fair.
It's all right.
You're all right, yeah.
You're all right. Yeah.
Sh. It's gonna be all right.
Sh.
How is she?
What are you doing Jack?!
Why would you do that Jack?!
Sorry, sorry, sorry, just came
Why the f*ck would you do that?
It's OK, come here, darling.
Why?
What the f*ck?
Who the f*ck does that?
Come on. You're OK, you're OK.
Come on, you're OK. You're OK.
Sorry, I Sh, sh.
Is she all right?
Yeah, she's fine. She's fine.
Just, fu-
It's OK.
Is there
anything you feel you can tell me?
Are you not enjoying it?
No, no, it's lovely, thank you.
Just a bit of a late night
last night.
I'm happy to get you
something else.
No, honestly, no, we're fine.
It isn't easy, is it, with a baby?
How old is she/he?
Er, she's nine months.
Like the perfect blend of
the two of you.
Hmm.
Thanks.
I should get her back.
Yeah.
Do you want to
meet me at that later?
Just to watch it?
If you're not, you know, too put off
by my performance last night?
I like kites.
So I'll see you there.
Bye-bye.
Aha. There they are,
my brave little adventurers.
Ah, how was it?
Er, it was, yes,
it was exactly as you said.
Hello. Oh, my bubba.
There we go.
Oh, my bubba. Oh, my bubba.
Do you want to come in for
a tea or a coffee, or something?
No, thanks, I've been,
mainlining caffeine.
Oh, God, did she sleep much?
Did you?
Bits and pieces.
Ah, God.
Sorry, she was pristine in the taxi.
Oh, no, do you have,
like a jasmine candle at
your place?
No.
Have you started wearing
jasmine, suddenly?
No.
Then who's been holding her?
Alice came over.
Did she?
Yeah, she was great with her,
actually.
She found out a way
to kind of make her stop crying
And did she stay the night?
Not in the way that you think.
Jesus Christ.
What?
What. Erm
..we came at this with
a spirit of kinship, Jack.
And now, at the first opportunity
It isn't like that.
Oh, I can see exactly how it is and
how it's going to be going forward.
Well, well
Well, well done, OK, great.
Just ground rules rewritten, then.
Two words to the wise going forward,
Jack.
One, get yourself some jasmine.
And two, just lie to me.
I know you know how to.
Ah, it's OK, bubba, it's OK.
Hey.
I think that one's a pterodactyl.
Hmm.
It's by far the scariest of
dinosaurs, if you ask me.
The other dinosaurs,
you could, like,
see them coming
and run away or hide, or whatever.
But a pterodactyl, you're just,
like, minding your own business
and then something grabs you by
the face and flies off
and you don't even have time
to leave a note.
Are you OK?
My dad used to come into my room
when I was a kid.
He used to wait until my mam was
passed out drunk.
He hated my mam.
He hated all women really.
One time he didn't close
the door all the way
and I saw her standing there
in the corridor.
..watching.
Imagine clinging to
a marriage like that?
You know what she said the next day?
"You stole him from me."
I really thought by now that it
would be different, Jack.
You know,
you do all the things in the world.
You run your gauntlet of
caregivers
..you learn about attachment
disorder and all the rest.
And it helps but, erm
..the present can't fix the past.
And there are just some
..things and some people
you just can't outlive.
The best that you can do is make
yourself operational
..and see the good in people.
And love them.
And I love you.
But we don't
..have a future together,
you know.
If you think there's any way
I'll ever abandon you,
you're wrong.
If I could be with anyone
in the world
..it would be with you.
But it would end in ruins.
Shouldn't it be my choice, too?
Knowing the risks?
No.
No.
Cos you know them,
but you don't know them.
Because we're supposed to keep our
loved ones out of harm's way,
not chuck them into it, screaming.
And because honestly I'd just rather
die than disappoint you again.
You could never disappoint me.
I have. No.
I have.
I will again.
You're like the incarnation
of everything I've ever wanted
..but I just can't have, you know.
It's all your bloody fault, anyway.
Why?
Cos you should've read
the tea leaves,
that what
What's bigger than tea leaves?
Bloody palm fronds?
Kremlin-sized collection of
red flags.
But, no.
You just, like
..loved me.
Blind as justice and
..dumb as sand.
Anyway, it'll be someone
else's problem, now.
Till they figure out
what you've found out,
which is that you can't
save people.
I never thought that you
needed saving, Alice.
I don't think that you do.
I just thought that if we loved
each other enough that,
whatever the problems were, we'd be
strong enough to get through it.
I don't know if we'll see
each otheragain.
But you definitely have my
permission to think about me
and, erm, imagine that
I'm out there, somewhere
..most probably thinking of you.
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