01x06 - My Therapist Says...

[bunniefuu]

[RENEE] Previously on Run The World

Getting divorced is surprisingly easy.

Cheers!

- Divorce can be like a death.

- I'm fine.

All women deserve

to f*ck up at least once.

I'm sorry, what?

Every woman deserves to sleep

with at least one man

who can actually change

her station in life.

Why are you taking her side?

If you are f*cking up,

then good for you!

[WHITNEY] I love Ola so much.

I didn't cheat on him because

I have doubts about him or us.

Make peace with this and bury it.

You told me seven days before you left.

You were so depressed after

your publishers dropped you.

I didn't wanna make it worse.

Don't you think this will look amazing

with a thigh-high slit?

Renee, no.

What is wrong with you?

Hey.

Can you please start being the friends

that I very much need right now?

[CHILL JAZZY MUSIC PLAYING]



[NANCY] So what's going on?

This wedding is literally

bringing out the worst in my friends.

And maybe me too.

Ever feel like every day is a fight?

Lately, I wake up,

and I feel like

I have to put on my armor

even when I'm with my girls.

I'm fantastic.

I'm just here because, you know,

divorces and therapy

seem like a natural combo.

And besides,

I need to use my flex spending.

I can't believe this is where

I am at this point in my life.

And what point is that?

You know, I have patients whose

lives are really f*cked up.

You're 32, you're employed,

you're beautiful, you're smart

And yet my life's a sh*t show.

[CAMERAS SNAPPING]

[POP MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHUCKLES]



[SINGER] Drink in my hand

Chilling on a rooftop



Hi! Can you sign this, please?

Of course! What's your name?

Jacquetta, spelled the regular way.

Huge fan of "What The El."

I read it every day.

You've taught me how to be sexy,

and empowered and perfectly single

Not like the last girl to get chose.

You're like my BFF in my head.

Except not how Beyoncé's

my BFF in my head.

You're like my BFF in my head

if I knew this person in real life.

- Thank you?

- Mm-hmm! [LAUGHS]

- Thank you!

- You're welcome. [CHUCKLES]

Everything okay?

Yeah. It's just a work thing.

It can wait.

Tonight is all about celebrating

my gorgeous girlfriend and

soon-to-be bestselling author.

Tonight doesn't happen without you.

[ANDERSON] I'm proud of you, baby.

I love you.

Ugh. I hear the room rate

at the Standard

is discounted on Tuesdays.

[BOTH LAUGH]

You actually did the damn thing.

Congratulations.

That means a lot coming from you, Barb.

I really appreciate you coming out.

I'm on the hunt for a waiter

with free booze and tiny food.

Have you tried the crab cakes?

They are bite-sized yum!

[SIGHS] I'm too nervous to eat.

But it's already written.

Now you just wait for all

these single Black girls

with big dreams

and too much attitude to buy it.

- Did you read it?

- No.

But look at you and all these pages!

[LAUGHS]

Ooh, crab cakes.

[CHUCKLES]

[LEIGH ANN] Ella

So, not-so-good news.

Some of the early reviews

are less than stellar.

- Oh, my God. They hate me.

- Sweetie, don't spiral.

It's not a huge deal.

I just wanted to let you know

so you won't get blindsided.

What are you doing? No.

I'm not letting you do this right now.

No. Okay.

The lowlights: there are some sentiments

that you may have abandoned

your core audience

- to become more palatable.

- What?

Also, the words "banal"

and "trite" were used,

but screw those self-righteous,

Pussyhat-wearing critics.

What about the sales projections?

Oh, it's all very fluid.

Just enjoy your party, okay?

André Leon Talley is here. Mm-hmm.

Okay, that is a whole moment

you got going on there.

[IN AFFECTED ACCENT]

Yes, darling, it's a look.

[SPEAKING NORMALLY] You like?

Jason thought it was too risqué.

Mm, for a book party? Shocking.

Ella, this party is everything!

I'm so proud of you!

I really hope that

you're soaking all this up.

I was, until five minutes ago.

Apparently my book

got some shitty reviews.

Do reviews matter anymore?

I'm a writer. Haven't you heard?

We're all deeply insecure.

Forget the reviews.

I just saw André Leon Talley

with Pat Field.

Oh, my God. Where? I love them.

Guys, what if my book doesn't sell?

- I don't have a backup plan.

- Okay, okay.

Do not do your negative energy

woe-is-me thing.

This is your moment.

And you get to choose

how you experience it.

Look around.

This is what you asked for.

Yum. Are those lamb pops?

Oh.

To be clear, it was not

what I asked for.

I didn't ask for osteoporosis

or for my sh*t commute

or for my tax guy to retire

and only send notification

by paper mail.

Who sends paper mail?

Ella, what is it

you think you asked for?

I asked for success,

to amplify my voice.

And you had a book published.

So a few people didn't like it.

It's no longer an accomplishment?

I thought it was

the beginning of my career,

but it damn near ended it.

How?

Sure, would've been nice

if the reviews were a little better.

But, you know,

life isn't always gonna

kiss your a*s, sweetheart.

You have osteoporosis?

You have such good posture.

It's my lumbar pillow.

It's made of Hyper Foam.

Oh.

You know, whenever we talk

about this particular night,

you always mention

what Renee was wearing.

Why?

[EILEEN'S "CES BOTTES SON

FAITES POUR MARCHER"PLAYING]

[EILEEN SINGING IN FRENCH]



[TWANGY BASS NOTES]



Renee does things I would never do.

I would wear the bridesmaid's dress

that she picked out even if I hated it.

I did, in fact, wear a very hideous

poofy chiffon number in her wedding,

but I would never ask to have it altered

with a slit up to my cervix.

[NANCY] Well, this can't be

a surprise to you.

[SIGHS] No.

I mean, this is who Renee is.

She's been on a crusade

to make sure everyone knows she's there

ever since her mom started

letting her dress herself

in the fourth grade.

But this is really not about

the way she dresses, is it?

[SIGHS]

No. She always looks amazing.

- It's just, she never thinks about

- About what?

About what other people think of her?

Should she?

Yes.

No.

Sometimes.

She just walks around not giving a f*ck.

Well, perhaps you resent

Renee's ability to be free.

Well, when I allow myself freedom,

bad things happen.

I go to one club on a weeknight

and end up sleeping with

a guy I just met.

- I mean, who does that?

- It's New York, honey. Most people.

- Well, I'm not most people.

- [NANCY] I know.

You're the person who never

wants anyone to be mad at her ever.

[SEAN PAUL] Shake dat thing

Ms. Cana, Cana

Shake dat thing

Ms. Annabella

Shake dat thing, yow Donna, Donna

Jodi and Rebecca

[RENEE] Hurry up, Whitney.

What's taking so long with those drinks?

[SEAN PAUL] When da beat drops

Just keep swingin' it Get jiggy

When are they gonna start

playing the juke music?

You know what? I'm ready to per-co-late!

[ELLA] I'm waiting for the reggae set.

Where are the cuties?

[SEAN PAUL] Gyal

Nobody can tell you nothin'

Cuh' you don't know Your destiny

Of course.

[ELLA] Tall, light skin,

long hair wins every time.

- [RENEE] Mm-hmm.

- [WHITNEY] Um, excuse me?

Boys literally just stopped

calling me Big Bird yesterday.

Remember? "She tall and she yellow"?

Well, now, they're calling you

America's next top model.

[LAUGHS] Right.

No one's interested

in your pretty-girl problems.

Well, I'm not interested in those guys.

Then why did you smile at them?

Because I'm nice.

[SEAN PAUL] In di car wid us

Dem nah w*r with us

Uh, keep walking. Mm-mm.

Bye.

They were totally into you.

Girl, they were booger-wolves.

Plus, you can't hog all the cuties.

I'm not hogging anything.

Do you think

I wanted to wear this tonight?

I'm trying not to be noticed

for you guys.

b*tch, ain't nobody asked you

to do that.



[NANCY] Are you sure you

wouldn't be more comfortable

sitting on the couch?

[RENEE] No, I know you see

a lot of people on the edge,

and I don't wanna catch

anyone else's crazy.

- Mm-hmm.

- [CHUCKLES]

So you're upset

that Whitney was acquiescing

to your feelings?

I don't need her to play small for me.

You know, Whitney's need

to be liked by everyone

is actually a burden on all of us.

If she's gonna be a doormat,

that's on her.

But she didn't give in to your demand

to alter the bridesmaid dress,

and you can't accept that.

Nancy, you're supposed to be on my side.

I was seeing you first.

Let's not forget that, boo-boo.

And yet, I see you the least.

And for the life of me,

I don't understand

how you all didn't realize

you were seeing the same therapist

until after you were all seeing me.

But seriously,

I'm your favorite, right?

I'm definitely the most complex.

Renee, focus.

Why can't you respect Whitney's

feelings about the dress?

I know she's the bride.

But so what?

We all have things we're going through.

I mean, why does everybody

have to cater to her?

No one ever does that sh*t for me!

[MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING]

Jason and I have made a decision.

We're not having kids.

I thought we already knew this.

Yes, because I never wanted kids anyway,

but now we've discussed it

and agreed upon it.

So it's official.

And college tuition's

gonna be half a mil

by the time the little sucker's 18.

Also, I don't wanna move to Brooklyn

and join Mocha Moms.

And the best vaginal rejuvenation guy

in the city just died.

And I'm not about to push out a baby

and have my vag*na wrecked

without an expert who can

restore it to its former glory.

Dr. Corvin died?

Yeah. Heart attack.

Big loss for the vaginal community.

[GASPS]

Anyway

Now Jason and I can travel the world

and live a life of endless summers.

- Sounds good.

- Sounds like a plan.

- Good for you.

- [CELL PHONE BUZZING]

[CLEARS THROAT]

And who was that?

[CLICKS TONGUE]

Professor Matthew Powell.

These are not school hours.

Daytime booty call.

Stop!

[SIGHS]

We are trying to keep it professional.

Obviously, I would like

to f*ck his brains out.

[LAUGHTER]

[WHITNEY] Oh, I've always had

a professor fantasy.

He calls me in after class,

then we shove all the books off the desk

and f*ck with the blinds open.

Oh.

Okay, well, I'm pretty sure

Matthew is into me,

but we obviously have to consider

the ethical repercussions.

I say do it.

[CHANTING] Do it, do it, do it.

- [ELLA LAUGHS]

- Do it, do it, do it, do it.

Sounds like a horrible decision

that could possibly f*ck up

everything you've worked for.

But, hey, listen to them.

I told these b*tches

about a real-life decision,

and somehow, that was less important

than Sondi theoretically

f*cking some dude!

No one seems to give a sh*t

that I'm getting a divorce,

childless, and starting over

for retirement!

But you chose to get divorced

and you chose not to have children.

Perhaps your friends think

they're supporting your choices.

Well, my choices suck right now.

But you present them like they're 100%.

You damn near dare anyone

to question you.

How dare you.

Well, honey,

this is what you pay me for.

Renee, you gotta open up

to your friends,

or there's no way they can support you.

Whatever.

Yeah, at this point,

we've known each other longer

than we've not known each other.

- They should know what I need.

- Oh, yeah?

They have nothing better

to do than sit around,

trying to read your mind?

I don't think that's too much to ask.

You see? This is what I'm talking about.

You can be a little tough.

I'm tough?

[DREAMY MUSIC PLAYS]



And I quote,

"Jane Of All Shades should be renamed

Jane Of No Shades."

That's not even clever!

Uh-uh.

You gonna let @mamaireads get you down?

Girl, she's so stupid,

she has to tell people she reads.

[LAUGHTER]

Well, I liked your book.

This is the most I have ever

related to your writing.

Ouch.

Your writing was always

so much more "hear me roar" than I am,

but I love that this book

embraced what it means

to be both independent and wanting.

"Wanting"? Am I wanting?

Well, I'm wanting this McQueen jacket

you have on in this cover photo.

Why do I have to be the same

person I was when I was 24?

Can't I evolve?

[SONDI] Ella, I think you're brilliant.

But let's be honest.

You've been dickmatized by Anderson

for the past two years,

so this book reads less "free your mind"

and more "home on the range."

I'm sorry.

But this is not the feminist

free sexploration

that you promised your readers

or yourself.

You want me to slap her?

I've always wanted to know what

it felt like to slap a b*tch.

It's actually quite rewarding.

Who you slapped?

Oh, this Becky at Harvard

who kept trying to blow Ola

sophomore year.

Her hand was on his thigh,

then I found my hand on her face.

[LAUGHS] Oh, now I have to do it.

Sondi, bring your face over here.

- [WHITNEY LAUGHS]

- Girl.

Ella, I am not trying to be mean,

but I don't know who this book is for.

Seriously, just give me

the word and I'll smack her.

Oh, jeez.

[SONDI] Okay.

So I may come off as harsh at times.

But your real friends

stab you in the front

and then they have your back.

It's our frickin' friend motto

since Spelman.

A stabbing from a friend

is still a stabbing.

But I'm the mirror friend.

That's what sisters are.

We're mirrors to each other.

You can't hide from your friends

and you can't hide from the mirror.

Ella is she's not ev I mean

Uh, I don't know. I think

She's not defending me.

Who do you need defending from?

I feel like I'm under a microscope.

And and she knows

how serious my relationship

with Matthew is,

and it's like she doesn't care

that I'm being disrespected.

Is this about that professor woman?

'Cause didn't we decide last week

she's a clueless b*tch and f*ck her?

We did.

All I'm saying is

when Ella really needs me,

I am there for her blindly.

No questions asked.

[FOUSHEÉ] Say that

I'm single as f*ck

- [SONDI] Here. Sip.

- [FOUSHEÉ] Single as f*ck

Mm-mm.

[FOUSHEÉ VOCALIZING]

I can't believe Anderson left me.

Didn't you say he was going

to go work in South Africa?

Yes. He left me.

But did he actually break up with you?

Are you not hearing me?

He left me.

[SIGHS]

He didn't mention moving at all?

No! He probably didn't want me to think

that he was leaving me

at the worst time of my life

because he was actually leaving me

at the worst time of my life. [SOBS]

Aww.

[SNIFFLES]

Great.

It smells like him.

[SIGHS]

Is it wrong to burn

a $300 goose-down pillow?

How do you own this?

Swag bag, VMAs.

I mean, I could take it off

your hands for you if you want.

He's probably ashamed to be with me.

#whattheElla trended for

six hours after my Reddit AMA,

so he probably thinks I'm a loser.

You are not a loser.

He's a loser. f*cking loser.

- But he's the love of my life.

- Let's not get hyperbolic.

[FOUSHEÉ] Single as f*ck

Maybe you should eat something.

[FOUSHEÉ VOCALIZING]



[FOUSHEÉ] Single as f*ck

Remember the last time I ate 5 Napkin

and I got so drunk

I threw up all over my bed?

I got you, boo.

I'll make sure you puke into the toilet.

Or, you know, somewhere close to it.

[CHUCKLES]

I never thought Anderson was

worth crying over, okay?

But hey, she likes him, I love him.

She is in no position

to judge my relationship with Matthew.

When did she judge?

I can't help that he's successful.

And, yes, he helps me in my career,

but we work in the same field.

How can he not?

I feel like I missed something.

[SONDI] And then at the party,

she's standing in the corner

watching me,

and I know she's sitting there thinking

I'm acting like a missus

and he's not my husband yet,

and, of course,

when Baptiste calls me out,

Ella says nothing

because she agrees with her!

[NANCY] Okay, let's say

that's what Ella was thinking

That you're a missus

and blah, blah, blah.

The better question is:

Who's giving it life?

Who's making any of it matter?

I am?

Mirror, mirror, sweetheart.

[SMOOTH PIANO MUSIC PLAYS]



You seem pretty convinced

your life ended two years ago.

I spent my early 20s feeling special!

My future was bright.

I was highly favored

All the Black-girl magic jargon

in full effect,

and then, bam, it evaporated.

Now I'm stuck at a job I was

so sure I was better than

and that's only because Barb,

God bless her,

was gracious enough to give me a chance

after I acted like an arrogant a*s.

Booyah.

- Wow, it's

- [BARB] A lot.

[CHUCKLES] I know.

I put it on a slip of paper for effect.

Editorial director. What do you say?

It's very generous, but

I can't accept it.

Ah. Trying to negotiate.

Savvy.

Barb, I'm gonna be busy

writing my first book! [CHUCKLES]

It's gonna be a memoir.

A memoir? At 29?

[CHUCKLES]

I didn't become interesting

until I was at least 34,

and I have yet to write a f*cking book.

Look,

I don't mean to sh*t

all over your dreams, kiddo,

but there's a big difference

between being

an influencer bloggy person

and an actual author.

It sounds like

you're sh1tting on my dreams.

[LAUGHS] Oh. You know I enjoy you.

Your little rants

"my hair's not my superpower,"

uh, "my tears are expensive"

Often make me LOL on the subway.

But they're just musings.

A hundred thousand followers disagree.

Think you need to do a gut check.

See if you're ready to

go deep enough for a memoir.

My publishers just released a bestseller

by an eight year old,

proof that you're never too young

if you have something to say.

Yeah.

You're talking about a third grader

growing up in Syria

during the civil w*r,

'cause apples and w*r zones, dear.

Barb, I value your opinion,

truly, but

sometimes, even you're wrong.

Name a time.

Thank you.

Mm.

What a disaster.

Okay, I don't know if she actually said,

- "What a disaster," but

- [NANCY] Listen.

It makes sense that

you've lost some confidence.

We have to work on getting it back.

Nanjo, I don't know

if you get that feeling,

that kind of invincibility back

once you've lost it.

All I think about now

is financial security.

It doesn't leave a whole lot

of room for fearlessness.

You're using this book as an excuse.

It's not an excuse. It's what happened.

It's what's holding you back.

And what's next?

No one's gonna hire you

to write this sad-sack tale.

You have to think about

what it is you wanna say.

You know, it's been two years

since you've written anything personal.

It's 'cause I'm too busy

working at f*ck' Hot Tea Digest!

You say that like it pains you.

Last week, we wrote a piece

on the most popular dogs on TikTok.

It's not exactly Pulitzer material.

I follow Buddy the Beagle.

He's adorable.

Of course.

Look,

Hot Tea Digest is an opportunity, okay?

You've got the talent,

you've got the time,

and if you choose to,

you can start over.

That is a luxury, not a burden.

If you don't show up for your future,

no one else will.

[MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYS]

You know, I'm surprised

you didn't ask Matthew

about what Baptiste said to you.

Did I mention that Baptiste

kept calling me "sis"?

You did.

On our Zoom call, over and over.

Listen, maybe I'm old,

maybe it's cultural,

but I don't get why it's offensive.

[SCOFFS SHARPLY]

Never mind, Nancy, it's it is.

It's cultural.

You know, Sondi,

you're stifling yourself,

and it's making you miserable.

And it's why you're picking

a fight with Ella.

I'm not stifling myself.

Well, you have made

a lot of changes for Matthew.

And now, you're worried

about what all those people

you were showing off for

are gonna think

if you two don't work out.



You know, honey, there's a difference

between being your best

and being the best.

Like right now.

Why don't you put your pen down, okay?

I know every word that I utter

is a literal gem,

but I promise you,

all the important stuff,

you're gonna remember.

You know, you work so hard

at being perfect at everything,

you're giving yourself anxiety.

Are you sure that I just

can't write that part down?

'Cause I feel like

I'm gonna miss some stuff.

You know what? Okay.

Okay. I'll just record.

Oh, Whitney.

- All right.

- Seriously?

Okay, here we go.

You can't be mad at people

for being selfish.

Life is ultimately about self.

And this tear of self-sabotage

that you're on,

it's only gonna get worse

until you figure out

how to be kind to yourself.

And then I don't know

how to tell you this,

but sometimes,

you're gonna make mistakes.

Well, I definitely aimed high

on the mistake-achievement ladder.

Well, you tend to overdo things, hon.

If you're not gonna tell Ola

that you cheated,

just move on.

Stop torturing yourself.

[SIGHS]

Okay, what do I do

about Renee and the slit?

Let her have it. Don't let her have it.

Who cares?

[LAUGHS SOFTLY]

Is it wrong

that I wanna look amazing

when I walk down the aisle

with a man I'm divorcing?

It shouldn't be a big deal

if I wanna give him a little leg.

Can't I have something I need for once?

Your t*ts are not your needs, Renee.

Maybe you should embrace the fact

that wearing a shiny dress

doesn't distract from the pain.

There's nothing weak

about wearing your feelings.

And now a little homework

before next week's session.

And by the way,

this all works a lot better

if you show up more than once

every three months.

You see all of my friends

on the regular.

I asked them what they talked about,

and I get my advice

vicariously, you know?

Buy-one-get-one-free therapy.

That's not how therapy works, Renee.

Come on, honey.

You're going through a divorce.

You're afraid to be alone.

You don't tell your friends

what you're going through,

you're gonna push them away.

And you're gonna need them

because you're refusing to do

the work in here with me.

So this week,

I want you to start conversations

with an "I feel" statement.

I feel

like this is a stupid assignment.

[CHUCKLES]



[LAUGHTER AND CHATTER]

[SONDI] Okay. Not "of course."

You make up songs all the time.

- [RENEE] I do, I do, I know.

- [SONDI] Not "of course."

[LAUGHTER]

- [ELLA] Ladies.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- How was Nancy?

[SIGHS] Hilarious as always.

Apparently, nothing is wrong with me.

Oh, yeah. She's said that to me before.

- She's never said that to me.

- Me, either.

I always said you two were the craziest.

- [WHITNEY LAUGHS]

- Hey, so about that slit.

- I already called Amsale.

- [RENEE] No, no, don't.

Okay. Um, everyone,

I need your attention.

Um

I feel

Oh?

Maybe you haven't noticed, but

this divorce has been challenging for me

and I'm flailing a little.

This has been a lot harder

than I expected.

And I was so mad at Jason for so long,

and now that the mad is wearing off,

I'm scared of being alone forever.

[SONDI] Oh, sweetie.

I might not have sex with you,

but you are not going to be alone.

I could be in my condo for days, dying,

with no one noticing as I rot.

[ELLA LAUGHS] Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Renee, no one is gonna

let you decompose.

Yeah, not even a little.

You know we're here for you.

That's right.

Okay. Okay.

We're we're going to

the sappy place, okay?

[LAUGHS] All right. Who wants oysters?

[LAUGHS] Okay.

[SONDI] You guys,

can I just say

[VOICE BREAKING] I really love y'all.

Oh, Lord, now you got

the mushy one all worked up.

No, but seriously, like,

I would do a bid for any one of y'all.

Really?

- [SONDI] Yeah.

- 'Cause I would not.

Not happening.

I would frame every one of you

to keep myself out of jail.

Okay. Anyways

[LAUGHTER]

- I love you, guys!

- It's fine.

- [LAUGHS]

- Cheers to honesty.

To honesty!

Embarrass me

in front of all these people.

That's fine.

[MELLOW MUSIC PLAYS]

[SMOOTH JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS]