01x07 - Boom Threat

[bunniefuu]

8TH PRECINC

CHIEF

[stomach gurgles]

[suspenseful music plays]

[sighs]

Oh no. You gotta be kidding me. Jeez.

[door closes]

Hey, buddy! Hey, uh, you mind

just passing me some toilet paper?

It doesn't need to be two-ply or anything.

Single-ply is fine.

I'm not too picky. You know, just

- What's this?

- [door opens]

[door closes]

A manila envelope's too tough.

Like, come on, man.

And it looks like it's got something

pretty bulky in it, man. That's tricky.

"If you get off the pot,

you'll find out who Chief Fat a*s is."

[beeping]

My God, man! That's enough!

Stop the b*mb! Jesus.

- [farts]

- Ah, sh*t.

[stomach gurgles]

[theme music plays]

[flushes]

[laughs]

[exhales]

Wah, wah.

[chuckles]

Yeah!

[sighs]

[chanting]

[siren beeping]

[beeping]

So, uh, what's it look like

down below there?

There's a b*mb down here.

And I guess if you get up, it'll explode?

Oh.

Can you hold on, like,

for about 23 hours and 46 minutes?

Hold it in?

- [gasps] You didn't go yet?

- No, of course no. I'm blocked now.

You know the mafia's pretty inconsistent.

They used to k*ll people

only on major holidays.

Oh boy, taking you out

on a business day and at the PD?

They've got to be really angry

at the video you made.

Mafia, I'll tell you something.

Come here for a free taste of what my a*s

can do surrounded by cops. I'm here!

I'd really like to talk about something

besides the b*mb underneath me.

All right, I got a story.

- [gasps]

- The b*mb, the b*mb, the b*mb!

So I'm just messaging with Dani,

and she reads it

and doesn't reply, you know?

Is right now really

the best time for this story?

Do me a favor and go find someone

to help me out. But listen!

Be discrete.

[reporter] A very good morning, Roberval.

And a good morning to all the viewers

of Mirante Carioca.

I'm Dagmara Forte, and I'm out here now

in front of the 8th PD in Tijuca,

where they found an active b*mb

where the chief now sits on the toilet.

[crowd laughing]

I am gonna m*rder Estevão.

[Guerra] Hey, Chief! Say cheese!

All right, I just wanna take a selfie here

with you real quick. Yeah.

This selfie's gonna be the b*mb.

- Ha! Get it?

- Right.

Do me a favor there before you post.

Could you just crop everything

below the waist so it's not so, like

Oh, so it's not embarrassing? All right.

Oh, hey, Chief. So I've got something.

We have Jorjão here.

He's got a little update for you.

- Some good news, some bad news.

- Oh, okay.

If the b*mb explodes here,

the precinct will be okay

with a few repairs, boss.

[toilet flushes]

A few repairs? Look,

there's no budget for that sort of thing.

I mean, we can't even afford

toilet paper here.

So what's the good news then? Come on.

Chief that was the good news.

The few repairs? That was the good news?

Yeah, unfortunately,

this kind of expl*sive?

- I just don't know much about it.

- Oh, yeah.

This is the professional

you hired to do this?

Where did he study? On the Internet?

Did he just do a course online or what?

- Have some respect for Jorjão.

- [Suzano] He can't defuse the b*mb!

- But he really is a professional.

- Oh, obviously!

He did the intensive course.

Two hours, right?

Oh, that's awesome! Two hours?

That's great.

Move! Clear the area! Out! Out!

There's no reason you should be here.

Get out.

- That means you!

- [Guerra] Ah, but

Come on, everyone. Go. Let him relax.

- But don't you relax.

- No. I won't.

- I'm not relaxed.

- The situation's very delicate. I know.

Though, being trapped's

no reason for you to get worried.

Don't be nervous

or freak out and go crazy.

I'm really nervous.

Serrote will pay. We're gonna find him.

No, Serrote couldn't have done this.

How are you so sure?

Uh, his Aries moon, you see,

has a lot to, uh, uh, uh to do with it,

which means he's the violent type.

He likes fighting mano a mano,

wouldn't get me like this.

- Well, Chief

- The b*mb! Hey!

Think about it. Serrote tried to off you

in Campo Manso, and it didn't work.

He tried again during Carnival,

didn't work.

It's all or nothing now.

If I know the way the mafia works,

he's got one more chance or

[piercing note plays]

I don't understand why you do this

whenever you say anything about the mafia.

- Is it bad or is it like

- [Mantovani] Hey

- Just don't relax, sir.

- Don't look down there. Eyes right here.

- Just look at me.

- Yeah, that's right.

Yes, sir.

- Go find yourselves something to do!

- [door closes]

So depressing.

- [suspenseful music plays]

- [beeping]

[Pardal] Okay, these machines right here

will make a pretty good barricade.

And if we add this last one right here,

then we'll be good.

- Thanks, man.

- Sad ending for the fat a*s.

Dropped his guard for a second,

and the mafia got him.

It's a shame, really.

I don't think

it's a good idea for us all to be here

when a b*mb's about to explode.

No, no, no, no, I mean,

it's all the way over there.

The dude said the perimeter

of the expl*si*n's where Chief Fat a*s is.

- [sighs]

- [Cida] Where is he?

- [Pardal] Hmm?

- [Cida] Where is he?

- I have to see him! Let me in! [grunts]

- [man] Oh!

- Wow, Azevedo!

- Who is that?

She's hot! Damn.

How can you keep me out

when my boy's in danger?

Get off me!

I'm gonna diffuse that damn thing

and save my boy.

I'm here, my sweet Suzi!

Don't get any ideas, you hear?

This amazing fox is all mine, okay?

- Oh my God.

- [Pardal] Stop, stop, stop, stop.

Everyone stop. Let her through.

She's with me.

Excuse me.

It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm Pardal.

Uh, and now you are

Suzana Aparecida.

Cida, my friends call me.

[Pardal] Ah.

[Cida] Oh.

Delighted, Cidinha.

My condolences to you, ma'am.

- No.

- No.

[Cida gasps]

- No! [gasps]

- No.

My Suzi exploded? [sobs]

No! No!

- No, I mean, uh, it's just a matter of

- [Pardal] Merit!

The word to use is merit there, Chief.

Merit, sir.

Chief Suzano was the recipient

for our annual

Anti-expl*sives Training award.

That's a great privilege granted only

to Rio's finest police chiefs.

It's a real honor.

Oh, so proud of my Suzi!

- Are you our chief's mother?

- Uh-huh.

Oh my God, I'm surprised.

I thought you might be his sister.

[chuckles]

- Right, Azevedo?

- Yeah.

You know, I often get that from people.

I'm so impressed how friendly you are,

young investigator.

Ah, well, thank you, darling.

How about a little tour

of our humble place of work?

- Maybe you'd like to see how we operate?

- [chuckles]

Great. Now, let's go visit your son

before I give you the tour.

Oh, I had forgotten about that already.

[chuckles]

The situation here

is really complicated, Roberval.

Chief Suzano is nervous.

He's sitting there

with his pants down around his ankles.

He's crying. He's anxious.

He's begging for help.

- [suspenseful music plays]

- [beeping]

[Suzano] Action!

Hey, there Dani! I'm hollering.

It's Estevão here.

Stop it. Wait a second.

Your forehead's shiny.

Come here. It's too shiny.

All right, good. Now let's go.

Action!

Hey there, Dani!

I'm hollering. Estevão here, you know?

Hey, if you really want monogamy, I'm in.

Hey, if you want non-monogamy, I'm in.

Respond.

Even if you don't wanna respond,

gonna wait for your response.

- And scene!

- [phone beeps]

What do you think? I think it's nice.

- Just a second.

- [phone chimes]

It's a little ridiculous and a bit long.

And that whole acting

like you're in a boy band, drop it.

But I sent, so maybe we do one more?

- No, man. If it sucks, delete it.

- But I sent it.

Come on! Delete it if it's bad!

Okay, okay, I'll delete it.

Plus, two is really just overkill.

So don't worry. I've made it disappear.

- Wait. Did you just

- No, just for you. For you.

She's still gonna be able to see it?

Oh my gosh, you're right.

I'm not very familiar with Androids.

Let me check something

in settings real quick.

- Oops, everything went black.

- What the f*ck are you doing?

- Hey! b*mb! b*mb! b*mb!

- Where's the phone?

- You've been recording me the

- Well, you were mean in Campo

Tell me you're not fighting the way

you did back when you were children.

- Mommy!

- [Estevão] Ms. Cida, how are you?

I'm glad you're here.

Suzano broke my phone.

- [Suzano] No, I didn't. Mommy!

- Son!

- Hi, Ma.

- [Cida] Oh.

So here's the bathroom,

which is where the training

is currently taking place. You see?

What training?

Are you training for something?

Ah! Training, of course, yeah.

The training is very important for us.

True, yeah.

But does he have to keep

his pants down like that?

He does. The more realistic,

the better the training, right?

Keeping the impression

that there's a real b*mb there is key.

Yeah. Ah! Yeah. Yeah.

The police up here in the capital

are really, really strict

on the whole realism thing.

People have to really believe

a b*mb's under me and I'm gonna die.

But it's training, nothing more.

By the way, you actually

shouldn't be here right now.

This training is very serious stuff.

Uh, Pardal can take you on a tour

of the PD and my office and all that.

And we might be able

to speak later or not. [chuckles]

Bless you, mother. Bless you.

- I'll call you.

- I'll see you later.

- Goodbye, mother.

- Bye.

[Estevão] Kisses.

[Azevedo] Playing Big Brother, Inspector?

I don't play during work.

I'm after the t*rror1st.

[Azevedo] We could investigate together.

Two investigators in this department

can solve this case of sabotage.

Our little affair ended

when you became chief, you got it?

I'm on leave.

I'm no longer your superior.

Nothing is holding us back

from, perhaps, exchanging some fluids.

Oh, yeah? Nothing?

- [Azevedo] Hmm?

- What about that ring on your finger?

Mmm.

Let's get to the point.

Let's just examine the illicit acts.

What do you think you're doing?

I was trying to help

my combative inspector

- I'm not combative!

- who right now is proving my point.

Come on.

Tell me.

What have you found so far?

I'll behave here. I promise you that.

Otherwise, I'll need to draw up

a circumstantial report,

and I don't want to.

[scoffs] Ay.

Ay, ay, ay, Azevedo.

I know exactly what you're doing.

- Mm-hmm.

- I'm not gonna fall for it.

There's nothing suspicious there,

and the window's too small

for anyone to get through,

meaning that nobody got in.

Hmm, inside job,

so we need to take action

and secure the station quickly.

Yes. Yes, we do.

- [suspenseful music plays]

- [beeping]

- [urinating]

- [Pardal sighs]

[sighs]

[urinating continues]

[Suzano] What the hell?

Are you urinating there

or do you have a pool to fill?

It's a good sign, Chief.

Got a prostate that's still young.

[chuckles]

I'm being very modest.

I can't feel anything

from the waist down right now.

Both my legs have gone numb.

Ah, that'll happen after you been

in the same position for a while.

- Yeah, but it's not serious, right?

- Oh, no, it is.

It looks to me like thrombosis.

So I'm dying? Let everyone know I'm dying.

- Ma?

- Relax, honey.

I was looking for a cover for you.

Even though I know you're in the middle

of expl*sives training,

your dynamite stick

doesn't have to be exposed like that.

Dynamite stick? Come on, Ma.

Give me a bit of dignity here, won't you?

Don't you know that my legs are tingling?

Right. I was just explaining to him

that this part of the training

is the realism part,

and it's really important,

isn't it, Cidinha?

Cidinha?

Yeah,

it's a neuro-sensitive disorder called

paresthesia,

that feeling you get down below

with the tingles,

but it can be solved

with a nice little massage.

Ah, so you've got experience

with massages, huh?

I'm starting to think

thrombosis isn't that bad in the end.

Although, I'm willing

to change my mind on that.

That's how Suzi likes his massages,

you see?

Grabbing hard with firm pressure.

Really get in there.

Oh, I also like it strong and heavy

with force behind it.

La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

- I don't hear anything.

- Chief, you got hearing loss?

Let's go straight

to the energetic points then.

- Sh.

- You know acupressure?

- Mmm.

- [Cida] Oh, wow.

You've been keeping things

from me, Pardal.

Are there any points

that will erase my memory?

I'm getting traumatized over here, so

Right here? The liver.

Ah.

Cervical.

Oh, hey.

Sacroiliac area.

Oh yeah, the sacro. Find the sacro.

- Coccyx.

- Coccyx.

- Mmm, sphincter.

- [farts]

No!

No, no, no, the sphincter

is out of bounds, all right?

That's all right.

Can't have the old sphincter

getting relaxed too much, huh?

Otherwise, I think that the b*mb testing

could be compromised.

- [suspenseful music plays]

- [beeping]

Between the times of 7:45 and 8 o'clock,

where were you this morning?

Well, my memory's a bit foggy.

I mean, I look at the screen all day.

I think that's the reason.

The suspect had

12 genuine micro facial expressions

pointing to dissimulation.

Uh, are you serious right now?

Now, that's true astonishment.

You gonna tell the truth now, rookie?

Azevedo has a whole lot more ways

to tell whether you've been lying.

- No, I don't mind telling you guys

- He's relentless.

- Apply the technique.

- Should I?

- You should apply it.

- I will.

Did you happen to forget to turn off

the faucet this morning, Mantovani?

No, no, actually I was

the one who turned it off.

- When I got there, the water was dripping.

- Ah.

You admit you were for sure

in the bathroom earlier this morning?

- Confess! Now!

- Oh, that's how you break me.

I confess. I did go to the bathroom, okay?

But I'm still studying

for a public service exam

and everyone knows that stall number two

is actually the best one for resting.

And it's good,

because no one can see inside it.

- What?

- What?

[Guerra] I was in the bathroom

with Zuleide's esthetician.

So the suspect has an alibi.

[Azevedo] She brought her accomplice

inside the PD.

That's obviously

some kind of criminal conspiracy.

- That's pretty low, no?

- This man goes low.

- Yeah.

- He goes way down low.

- Yeah? What do you wanna know?

- [Mantovani] I want it all.

- Yes, sir.

- Oh, you'll get every bit I have.

- Uh-huh.

- Every paragraph.

- Uh-huh.

- You'll get all that you want.

[Guerra] Hmm?

- Yeah?

- You're a you're a filthy one.

That's filthy, yeah.

Come on, now.

I'm a servant of the Lord, here.

Oh yeah? What do you have to say about

this lady who only appears to be pregnant?

[gulps]

I'm only speaking in the presence

of Pastor Reginaldo.

What can a pastor do about all this?

He's my lawyer. I know my rights.

Brown stains around your collar

and on your apron.

And if we'd look at your fingers,

we'll see that there's the same color

on both the right and left hands.

The pupils?

They're extremely dilated,

seeming to indicate

a large amount of dopamine in circulation.

You seeing this?

Inspector, the suspect gorged

on a large chocolate Easter egg,

which she kept hidden

in her apron pocket.

She was trying to fool us into thinking

she was pregnant,

and I would say, given the size,

she's about 22 weeks at least.

[Mantovani moaning]

Okay. Yeah, I surrendered to temptation.

But then who hasn't?

Am I right, Inspector?

God alone will be my judge, right?

Amen.

- [suspenseful music plays]

- [beeping]

[Rabecão] This trial

will prove my innocence

because my only crime was

picking a book I couldn't put down.

[Azevedo] Books, Rabecão?

[chuckles]

You really needed

an entire bag of books in there?

Huh? What?

You read the news, and I read a book.

Look, everyone has

a different taste in literature.

And I just happen to be into

the Baroque Era. What can I do?

[Mantovani] Oops. Ah!

- [Rabecão] What?

- That was quick.

- Gee

- Oh

- Your phone unlocked.

- Your phone just opened. Whoa.

What do we have here?

SEARCH HISTORY

HOW TO MAKE A HOMEMADE b*mb

"How to make a b*mb

out of household parts."

- [suspenseful music plays]

- [beeping]

Rabecão, seriously?

Have you gone crazy?

I mean, I know he's not exactly

the biggest fan of mine.

Like, he gave me

the nickname here of Chief Fat a*s.

Of course, he started

that group on WhatsApp

called "8th PD without Suzano."

Pretty hurtful.

He said that a sock puppet in a vest

would make a way better Chie Wait.

Rabecão, you planted

a b*mb to m*rder me, didn't you?

It wasn't me, Chief.

Explain the suspicious disappearance

of the suspicious bag then, man.

It was a flea-market bag!

Chief, that bag's in bag heaven by now.

I don't know what happened.

Yeah, there's lots of heavens.

There's one for socks.

There's one that missing umbrellas go to.

And what about a heaven for lighters?

Is it in heaven?

Good news, it is risen, by my hand.

What is this?

Oh, Mantovani.

[ominous music plays]

- [Azevedo] Huh.

- [Suzano] What?

Fine. I was working out in the bathroom.

Emergency muscle pump.

- You know what I'm talking about, Chief?

- Yeah, sure, an emergency. Yeah.

- So does it work?

- Oh yeah, if you alternate properly.

- It's about muscle confusion.

- How many sets do you recommend?

- Minimum three.

- Yeah, my problem is my pecs.

- I got a nipple off to one side.

- Hey, guys.

- Uh

- Okay.

And what was that

with your search history?

How do you explain

your homemade-b*mb research?

Steroid b*mb, man.

Shake recipes specially made for those

who wanna make their muscles grow.

- Buff it up!

- Ah!

- No.

- Yeah, I'm gonna stop. Yeah, thanks.

Okay, if Rabecão wasn't the one, who?

It was only our staff that came in here.

Well, that window could've been

an entrance. Don't you think?

Impossible, no one is small enough.

I didn't even bother

to check the camera outside.

Right.

[drill whirs]

[action music plays]

[grunts]

I mean, obviously,

it wasn't anyone in the PD.

This job's an outside one

and more serious than we first thought.

We should go out and find a certified sp

[man] Specialist.

Um, a specialist

out of the anti-b*mb squad.

[Suzano] I'm sorry, who are you?

[groans] A specialist

out of the anti-b*mb squad.

I thought I just said that.

- Yeah, boss.

- You're not listening very well.

I got nervous.

- [suspenseful music plays]

- [beeping]

Well, well, sins of the flesh, huh?

[chuckles]

Uh, I won't go into detail, Zuleide,

but I can confirm there was a whole bunch

of sinning involved in there.

[chuckles]

And if you made a mess in there,

I'll pray your member rots

and falls off, you devil.

- [beeping]

- [Suzano] Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

You sure you're an expert?

- You know how to um

- [man groans]

[Suzano gulps]

Relax, Chief Suzano. Relax.

- Wesley's the best in all of Rio, okay?

- Don't relax.

[Suzano] Yeah.

- So?

It was what I was afraid of.

I can't defuse it.

It's a foreign b*mb.

I don't know this type of fuse here.

Whoa, the best in Rio? Really?

Talk about a bad review.

Uh, Lan gee gapre?

I can't even read this language.

So what are we supposed to do?

Wait for it to explode? Do something!

Sign my report and let me go, please.

If you open a subsequent case,

it'll take about 48 hours

to get another agent.

- So you guys better be nice to me.

- [Suzano] What?

Wesley, I think we have to clear this up.

You've gotta find a solution quick, 'cause

I'll blow you up myself if you don't.

Uh, can you help me here?

Hold this for a minute.

Here's what we'll do.

It's an excellent technique I'm gonna use.

You can do this too, whenever you

don't know what to do with the b*mb.

You take the orange wire,

and then you cut it,

just like I'm gonna do, right here.

[beeping]

[suspenseful music plays]

[alarm beeps]

[beeping quickens]

Oh, perfect, so we just made a sound.

Bad or good sound?

[beeping diminishes]

[clicks]

[beeping resumes]

- Uh, hand me my equipment.

- Certainly.

Rabecão, here take the chair. The bag.

- What now?

- [Mantovani] What is it?

Uh, come again?

- What's the matter?

- [Suzano] Is it bad?

Uh, I guess, in 13 minutes,

you'll find out.

- Huh? Where you going?

- [Suzano] What's that mean? Oh.

[Rabecão] Proper procedure.

When facing an imminent expl*si*n,

get to somewhere safe.

- No.

- Mantovani.

- No, no, no.

- Come with me.

We have to get out.

Please come with me, Mantovani.

- Mantovani, let's get out of here.

- No, no, no. We have to

Let's go. Please. Let's go.

Mantovani, please come with me.

Mantovani.

- Mantovani.

- [sighs]

You'll be just fine.

Yeah.

[footsteps retreating quickly]

[door closes]

[overlapping chatter]

- [suspenseful music plays]

- [beeping]

Hi, guys. How are you?

I'm here

because it's the end of the month.

Uh, it's time for employee reviews,

and as you can see,

given this unusual situation,

I figured I'd present everyone's reviews

from where I am now.

[sniffles] So let's begin with Estevão.

The most loyal or dumbest person I know.

I don't know why he agreed

to join me in this dangerous place.

[in Portuguese] What's immortal ♪

Doesn't die in the end ♪

And if it's like this afar ♪

[both] This won't have an end ♪

Have an end, not even if ♪

I think he gets the tribute. Thanks.

[clears throat] Hmm. Whoo.

Hey there, Guerra.

You're an artist,

with your paint brushes,

but also with your ability

to mislead civilians

who come to file useless reports too.

Chief, you Chief,

you're so pretty in this light. [cries]

[crying] I figured.

- Rabecão! Oh, Rabecão!

- Mmm.

You look like you're really tough and all,

but I know, man, you got a huge heart.

[howls]

[howls] Right back at you.

Wi-Fi.

Yes, Chief?

You'll make an excellent officer.

A man always willing to take

a public service exam to grow

to move to a different role.

- Fly, kid! Go! You deserve it!

- Thanks, Chief.

[whimpers]

[gasps] Pardal. Little Pardal.

Big Pardal.

How I wish I were as young as you,

you know?

I'd like to ask you,

"Please take care of Mommy."

Don't you worry. I will, Suzi.

- Cidinha will be fine.

- [Cida chuckles]

You're a bit close for comfort,

if you ask me though.

Ah, Zuleide,

Chief, I'm an outsourced worker,

so technically,

I'm not a part of the team here.

What are you saying, Zuleide?

You're the very heart of this place,

with all your blessings and such.

You've got a way of holding us

accountable in this PD. We need that.

Each person has gotta carry

their own cross, you know?

[chuckles]

And finally, Mantovani. Where are you?

Right here. [clears throat]

Sorry. Uh, what are your orders, sir?

I've tried as hard as I can,

and I still can't find a flaw in you.

- [clears throat] I'm honored, really.

- Ow.

And, um, I'd like to say that

that I'm aware it's often hard to

to be around me, um,

because can be a very combative

employee. [sniffles]

Funny you say that, because I

I always thought

that was your best quality.

Who wouldn't want a woman as stubborn

as you are as their partner?

Allow me one more order as chief here,

one last order as your superior officer.

Don't ever let people diminish you.

It doesn't suit you.

You're brilliant as you are.

- Yeah.

- [tablet dings]

- Move.

- [Azevedo] Where are you going?

Hey, guys, have have you heard about

how he used to do a lot of work with

[all] Campo Manso's traveling theater.

Ah, you folks heard about that theater.

- [suspenseful music plays]

- [beeping]

Inspector Mantovani

reporting to fight diminishment!

I know I'm combative and I'm angry

and I want you alive. Let's go!

Have you lost your mind, Mantovani?

[in Portuguese] I think I'm nuts ♪

My feet are off the ground ♪

I can even fly ♪

Hold onto my heart ♪

[both grunt]

[suspenseful music plays]

[ticking slows]

[Mantovani grunts]

You all right?

Weird, I've never felt better

than right now.

Huh?

What? What?

Be careful, Mantovani.

Careful. That's a b*mb.

Maybe it's set to daylight saving's time.

[phone chimes]

[Mantovani] That's weird.

"Landi Landslassprengja." Icelandic.

A kind of prop used on theatrical sets.

- So why a fake b*mb? Why do that?

- [phone chimes]

Oh, you just received a text.

It's from Serrote.

"You big, rude idiot,

why don't you answer?"

[Suzano] It's a funny story.

I never told you about it.

I have a childhood friend from Campo Manso

whose name is also Serrote.

Nothing to do with Serrote from the mafia.

And what is this?

Inspector, give me just a minute.

I know what you must be thinking, okay?

Chief, you're under arrest

for criminal conspiracy,

for aiding and abetting,

and obstruction of justice.

Guess I was wrong when I mentioned

that I knew what you must be thinking.

[farts]

[theme music plays]