01x03 - Close Encounters

[bunniefuu]

365,000 fans heading

for Britain's biggest-ever pop concert.

The reason?

This man was going to entertain them.

No doubt who the biggest name

in British music is this weekend.

It is his weekend.

Robbie Williams is playing three nights

at Knebworth back to back.

Robbie-mania has taken hold.

But if you're not a Robbie fan,

just stay away.

It was

the biggest experience of my life,

doing Knebworth.

Just a blanket people of people en masse.

And it was seismic.

Hell is gone and heaven's here

There's nothin' left for you to fear

Shake your a*s, come over here

Now scream

I'm a burnin' effigy

Of everythin' I used to be

You're my rock of empathy, my dear

So come on, let me entertain you

This is the height of my career.

It's all rampin' up to this.

And through it

All

She offers me protection

A lot of love

And affection

Whether I'm right or wro-o-ong

And down the waterfall

Wherever it may take me

I know that life won't break me

When I come to call

I feel like

I am the center of the pop-culture world

at the moment.

I'm lovin' angels instead

Thank you for makin'

my dream come true, Knebworth!

Robbie!

There's an awful lot of sh*t

that's written about me,

uh, almost every week.

And, um, I want you

to remember something for me.

This is Robbie Williams.

This is what I do for a livin'.

Right here.

I'm a singer. I'm a songwriter.

And I'm a born entertainer.

This is what I do.

Thank you!

I'd just had

the biggest experience of my life

doin' Knebworth.

And I think the first line

in the NME review was,

"Here it is. Naff Britain in microcosm."

I'm trying to derive self-worth

from doing my job,

whilst I'm being told

and reading about myself that

or hearing about myself

from radio and TV that I'm

a piece of sh*t.

I just wanna feel real love

Feel the home that I live in

You know,

I believed my press.

Unfortunately, my press

was the British press.

I know

That life won't break me

When I come to call

She won't forsake me

I'm loving angels instead

Yeah!

Give it up for Teddy!

- We got more cake, guys.

- Come 'ere, Ted.

You guys wanna see

the cake you made?

I'm late today

'cause I didn't wanna come.

There was, um

more of me

that I didn't wanna face, I think.

Can you tell me

what lies ahead of you?

I'm about to watch somebody

having a nervous

mental breakdown.

- You rollin'?

- Uh, yes, we are.

Hello and you're welc and you're welcome.

Hiya. I'm Robbie Williams,

and, uh, this is my studio,

where we've been recording an album

whose working title is Intensive Care.

With Guy,

I wasn't master of my own ship musically.

This is Stephen.

He's a pseudo-intellectual Noddy Holder.

But Stephen's

a musical mentor

that's allowing me to find whatever it is

completely that's inside of me.

I know it's comin'

There's gonna be violence

It did feel new,

and it did feel liberating.

as much as I'm willing to take

Yeah, I was tryin' to find

a different way to

do it all again.

The new stuff that I've got comin' out

is very different and

It's gonna sound really disrespectful

to the people I worked with before,

but it actually feels

- It feels better?

- It feels like my first solo record.

With Intensive Care,

I decide to do a tour.

And the tour that I'm doing

is off-the-charts massive.

You filmin'?

Wow.

Close Encounters, innit?

That's what

we're callin' the tour.

What are

your first impressions?

Uh, well, I used to do a good one

of Margaret Thatcher when I was a kid.

And then Frank Spencer, obviously,

but they're all the classics.

Boom-boom!

Looks amazin', dunnit?

Looks like my very own spaceship.

- I'll get rid of it, all right.

- All right, lads?

- How solid are they?

- Very solid.

Well, I can f*ck' stand on 'em,

and I'm a fat c**t.

- Right. That's that one loosened.

- That's that one

Off the top of your head,

old ones, "Let Me Entertain You",

"Angels" Stephen?

Knebworth is

the most famous and most celebrated moment

of my professional life,

but this tour was bigger than that.

- "Feel."

- "Feel." Of course.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I had 93 trucks for this.

Ninety-three trucks for my stage.

- And at the time, I was like

- "I've got 93 trucks."

It's the zenith of my success,

that tour.

I had my own jet

with my own "RW" symbol on the back.

Some housewares there.

Oh! Ah!

Made some sandwiches as well.

This is Elton John's plane, isn't it?

I know, yeah.

f*ck' ell.

Happy with it?

I'm still giggly.

Oh yeah!

Wait till you see this.

Jonny is my best friend.

He's a movin', walkin',

talkin' part of Stoke-on-Trent

that came with me everywhere,

that made me laugh

and made me feel safe and made me feel

that the part of me that existed

before I joined Take That was still there.

- Thank you.

- Well done, youth.

- Thank you.

- Well done. Well done, Jose.

- Wow!

- Isn't it great?

- A bit amazin', innit?

- This is a bit amazin'.

It's so good. He's mega rich.

The thing is,

with tourin',

people think that you get to Rome,

have your picture taken

on the Spanish Steps,

or go to the Louvre.

Like, no.

It's not what you would imagine it to be.

There's no normality.

It's weird when little ol' Rob

gets up in front of all these people,

and they just adore 'im.

- It's quite mad. Yeah. But

- It's his job.

It's his job,

and, um, he's the best at it.

This is what David needs

to get through the show.

- This is Rob's manager.

- He's already had four.

Where he gets his addictions from,

I'll never know.

I had

a great support system around me.

I'd got David, my manager,

and I'd got Josie,

and I'd got me mate, Jonny.

Good and honest people.

Honest as much as they could be.

There is still a relationship

where I'm the boss.

- You ready, Rob?

- Nah.

I really wish

I did somethin' else for a livin'.

- Uh

- Right, he's ready!

Think this is the most nervous

I've ever been.

- Is this the most nervous I've ever been?

- Absolutely.

- Okay.

- I like it.

It's good.

Is this the most handsome I've ever been?

Youth?

Yeah.

Hey! Two lads from Stoke-on-Trent.

Who'd 'ave thunk?

Let's get the gig

out the f*cking way

and get on a really nice plane

and go 'ome.

- What d'ya think about that?

- Yes!

Let's do this.

Let's go and f*cking give 'em a good show.

Elvis, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change.

- Uh-huh.

- The courage to change the things I can.

- And the wisdom to know the difference.

- Thank you very much!

Right, g*ng!

This is not a drill.

Open for mission, please.

Robbie! Robbie!

Have you seen the size of this place?

Why couldn't we have just done

the village hall or something

to start the f*ck' tour off?

You're lookin' beautiful tonight, Dublin!

How many people can do that in the world?

Right, go onstage in a stadium

and have 80,000 people just go,

"You're ace!"

You know, that's that is unnatural.

You've gotta

The reaction to that's gotta be

That That's why so many

f*ck' famous people are mad.

Where are you all from?

Holland?

- Holland!

- Robbie!

- Yeah, hello!

- We've, um

We've done a new song.

There's a new album

comin' out very soon. And, um

we're rehearsing this

for the very first time,

so nobody's heard this song yet.

Not even I. I wrote it. That's weird.

Um, it's a song called "Rudebox,"

and I think

it's gonna be my biggest song.

You might not get it on the first listen.

But believe me. I reckon it's gonna be

my biggest song, don't you, Dave?

- Yeah.

- Bigger than "Angels."

Yeah? Bigger than "Angels."

At the same time

as the Close Encounters tour,

I was doin' another album.

Seeing where this

Guy Chamber-less ship could sail.

Anyway, this is called "Rudebox,"

and I hope you like it.

With Intensive Care,

I'd been allowed to do

what I deemed to be interesting.

And then, because of that,

I got excited and went to another place.

Okay then, back to basics

Grab your shell toes

And your fat laces

A little hand clap for some funk faces

Make your body move

In the following place, it goes

Up your back and then down your spine

And when it hits your head

I'm making music

with my mates from Stoke-on-Trent,

and there's a kinship.

It was everythin' 13-year-old me

would've wanted to make.

Boom-bap beats and a bit of rappin'.

Sing a song o' Semtex

Pocket full of Durex

Body full of Mandrax

Are we gonna have sex

I loved doing the Rudebox album.

It was such a joy to make,

and it felt like it was me me.

And I just presumed

that because I was lovin' it,

there would be an audience

that loves it too.

- You really believed in it.

- Oh yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, I really believed in it. Yeah.

How you feelin' today?

Really good, actually.

Um

We did a great gig last night.

Went back to the hotel.

Uh, got an early night.

But didn't sleep much

'cause I kept wakin' up every hour.

Tried a bit of three-on-three football

with the lads, which was good.

I thought I was gonna be

knackered after that.

But, uh, I must be gettin' fit.

- Can I try that on?

- Yeah.

So I think I'm in gig-shape now.

- How long is the tour?

- Long time.

We don't think about that.

- A day at a time.

- A day at a time. A show at a time.

If you think about the end of the tour,

you never get there

Breathe in.

Charlie Lightening.

Is that a s No, no.

Is that a wise man speaking?

No, no, it's true. It's the truth.

If you start thinking about the end of it,

you'll never get through it.

If he's just thinking, "I'll just enjoy

each day as it comes," it works.

- You get into a routine.

- Except when I'm wrong.

- Seriously.

- I believe you.

I did, didn't I?

- It's good to know.

- Hm.

It feels like,

outside of the UK,

I'm allowed to be a pop star.

I'm allowed to inhabit

some form of greatness, I suppose.

Oh, f*ck' phenomenal.

Whereas, in the UK,

it was a very different story

with a different energy.

Now to Robbie Williams. Sophie?

I mean, he's like to me,

I just think he's

It hasn't got

any charm about it whatsoever.

The way people embrace him,

I find it baffling.

- It just makes me sad, really.

- His voice is not fantastic.

- You can't say he's got a brilliant voice.

- It's horrible.

It's fairly thin and fairly hard.

Last week, I wanted to berate you,

the Great British public,

for voting "Angels"

the best single of the last 25 years.

I've done a quick list of other songs

that maybe should've been considered.

Uh, number one, every single other song

recorded in the last 25 years

including karaoke versions of "Angels."

It felt like, every day,

I would read in print

what an abhorrent person I was.

The leading protagonists

in that particular problem for me

were the Star, the Mirror,

and the biggest one, The Sun,

where Victoria Newton

had the Bizarre column,

which was hugely influential.

She f*ck' hates me,

Victoria Newton.

- She finds the worst pictures of me

- Yep.

"We'll put that one in.

He looks horrendous."

I reckon she secretly loves you.

- Absolutely. She does.

- I like her.

'Ey, listen, I'm not sayin' I dislike her.

- I'm just sayin'

- I like you, Victoria.

Jonny likes you. 'Cause he has to.

Jonny likes you 'cause you've got

some kinda hold over these celebrities,

but with me I'm just about

to go on stage in front of 75,000 people

in a country that isn't England.

I've just been, right, to Dresden,

did two nights on the trot.

Sixty thousand.

Coulda sold out four nights.

I was in Amsterdam.

I did the "X," uh Stadium.

Seventy thousand people there.

I did four nights. I coulda done eight.

If I did another tour now,

I'd sell another 2.5 million tickets.

You can't do anything about it.

Fifty million albums sold.

I like her though.

She's never done anything wrong to me.

It feels like

the industry is ready to pounce

on any wrong move.

Releasing "Rudebox" as the first single,

which was so different

to anything that I'd done before,

now was the chance.

The Sun's decided to launch

a hate fest against me and my song.

You know, "It's the worst single

ever written."

"The rapping was sh*t," and, "It sounds

like it's been made on a Casio keyboard,"

and this, that and the other.

- I f*ck' hate c**ts.

- Do you want anything?

- Forty-five!

- Hate c**ts. f*ck' hate 'em.

- What?

- Forty-five.

- You're in a good mood, aren't you?

- Horrendous mood.

I know. Let it go.

Life's good. Why you in a mood?

- Thank you.

- Have mercy.

- You haven't been this cross for ages.

- No.

You gonna do "Rudebox" tonight?

Might do.

- Might not.

- Ready to blow.

Why is this

thing on that area so annoying?

See you in a bit.

Well, this is gonna be a classic.

Tonight, on this very stage,

because you've been so nice to us,

I wanna perform a brand-new song.

It's called "Rudebox."

Are you ready to dance?

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa!

I I wanna fast-forward this.

Why did you wanna fast-forward that?

Uh

It's just uncomfortable.

It's uncomfortable. Whatever.

A-D-I-D-A-S

- Old school 'cause it's the best

- Yes

- TK Maxx costs less

- Yes

Jackson looks a mess

It's my It's my baby.

You know, and I've never been

more proud of a song than "Rudebox."

I'm so excited about this album,

and I have been for so long.

And, uh I really feel as though

I found meself, and then

and then, you know, it's just,

I sort of read somethin' really cruel

written about it.

I was all right with it for ages,

but then just before I went on stage,

it was just like that.

"Why are people so cruel?"

And I just I think it was

less the review, more of a

"f*ck, no matter what I do,

no matter what I write,

no matter how I sing it,

no matter what I say,

in my home country,

the press are gonna f*ck'

just hate me and hate it."

"No matter how good it is or what it is."

- Straighten that a little bit more.

- You what, babe?

I'd say that's fine.

What have you done to your knee?

Um

Become 32.

That's what I've done to my knee.

I think it's wear and tear

from the Take That days.

We used to give our knees some punishment.

I used to think in the back of me mind,

"I'll pay for that when I'm older."

I used to think at the same time,

"I'll never be older."

But now I'm older,

and me knee's f*cked, me groin's gone.

Me back occasionally flares up.

Uh, anythin' else?

My Achilles tendons are bruised.

Uh Et cetera, et cetera.

Pretty quick into a tour,

you're f*cked,

but a lot of things

that happen in the body

are a result

of what's happening in the mind.

I think that it's all stoppin' workin'

just because of how I'm thinking.

Jose, doctor's gonna give me

a bit of a shot for energy. Yes.

- Rob, no!

- Yes.

- Yes. Yes!

- No! You don't need it.

- Yes, I do.

- You're just tired.

- I am.

- No.

- Last time it was terrible.

- It wasn't. It wasn't.

- No, Rob.

- No Yes.

- No. No.

- Yes.

- No, Josie, don't.

- No. No.

Don't. Honestly, don't.

It makes you feel rubbish for days after.

- It doesn't.

- It does!

It doesn't. Only 'cause I was ill.

Doctor? It's okay.

I m*rder*d I will m*rder him.

That's what I'm worried about,

quite frankly.

C'mon, doctor.

Josie, away!

Come 'ere! I love drugs, c'mon!

C'mon, kidder! Yeah! High-fives! Ten!

If I were not holding Mickey,

I would be with Josie on this.

- I love drugs.

- Here we are. Look!

Emergen-C!

Hm? That, in some water.

For me, how far I've gone,

with my intake of stuff,

that's like putting a Band-Aid on a

on me losing me me leg.

You want a little bit "sterine" steroid?

The steroids are the ones,

just so you know,

that make you feel absolutely terrible

for two days after.

- Love the stuff.

- Fine.

Okay.

Don't look, Jonny.

Voilà, monsieur.

All of that?!

- Yeah.

- Jeez Louise.

Look, there's coming your blood.

- Oh!

- Dr. Frankenstein.

Don't laugh while you're doing it.

It's really off-putting.

- Okay.

- Be serious.

Here we go.

It's okay.

Uncle Rob is a knob.

I'm on steroids

For this gig

Steroids for this gig

I like to take them often

But they turn you into a fat pig

On steroids for this gig

'Cause the gig is really big

Let's go!

I'm on steroids

The doctor gave me steroids

Whoa!

Stop!

I think the drugs are startin' to work.

Tonight, I instantly felt

like it was a party.

The least I'd done on the whole

on any tour, on any show,

least I've ever done was tonight,

and they still went mental.

It was really cool.

And did you feel

the effects of, you know, the shots?

- "Steroidos"?

- Yes.

I am now.

Yeah, I am now.

But it's kind of like a

more than a

It's kinda like that.

You know. Which is nice.

Is that But surely

there must be an adrenaline buzz anyway.

So is it just mixed with that

that just sort of

I dunno. I dunno which is which.

Dunno which is which anymore.

Where I stop and chemicals begin.

How are you feeling today?

f*cking terrible.

Terrible. Absolutely terrible.

Feel tired.

Uh, I feel

horrible.

So unimpressed

But so in awe

Such a saint

I remember I had doubts

that I was gonna get through

this leg of this tour.

I was like,

"This is bad."

It's too big for me.

It's too big.

Watch me come undone

They're selling razor blades

And mirrors in the street

I've had some steroids today.

that when I'm coming down

You'll be asleep

They're good.

If I ever hurt you

Your revenge would be so sweet

Because I'm

I come up through the stage,

and I've gotta do

grinnin' monkey boy for two hours.

I come undone

Ah! f*ck!

Yeah, yeah

Very, very brave.

Got a lollipop for him?

Danke schoen, goodnight!

We've nearly finished Europe.

It's been amazin'.

It's only halfway though.

But the European tour's

been brilliant. Ain't it?

He's full of good news, in't he? Jesus!

- Are you looking forward

- You asked me this mornin'!

- What did I say this mornin'?

- "How long we got in England?"

"How long we got in England?"

Not, "Are we halfway through the tour?"

We're not, actually. We're two-quarters

- "Two-quarters"?

- What do two-quarters make?

That's half, innit?

"We're not halfway through the tour"

- We're kinda two-thirds.

- You coulda confused me.

Three-fifths.

Three-fifths. Wow.

That's 60%.

Being on a tour

that is huge in scale and length

and then having a campaign in the press

that affirms my feelings and thoughts

about what, I guess,

people think about me,

it's another one of those perfect storms

for poor mental health.

I'm terrified

to return to the UK.

It represents

hatred and a lack of safety.

I am divorced from the land

that was once mine,

physically and mentally.

And I'm deeply, deeply affected by it.

How you doin', Rob?

I'm doin' all right.

Uh

I dunno. I just get scared

when I come to the UK.

The UK.

Home crowd.

You know, I've already done 30-odd shows.

A bit

Dunno, I always sh*t it at home.

And I'm just a bit panicky.

Sometimes I feel like

Throwing my hands up in the air

I know I can count on you

Sometimes I feel like saying

Lord, I just don't care

You got the love I need

To see me through

Sometimes it seems that the road

We've known each other a long time,

old chap, haven't we?

- That's right.

- You all right tonight?

I'm f*ck' shittin' it.

When you're out the hole, give us a wink,

let me know you're all right, will you?

- I will. I will.

- Yeah?

- Is it gonna rain tonight, d'you think?

- Yeah.

- D'you think so?

- Yeah.

Seriously?

I don't know!

What do you think I am? The weather girl?

Okay then, check the tan line

Make your body shake

Like you're stood on a landmine

Call me on my mobile, not the landline

Jack the mainline at the same time

Unfortunately,

The Sun's piece about "Rudebox"

has had an adverse effect in Great Britain

on the song "Rudebox,"

which, um I've noticed dramatically.

You know, from the crowds in Europe

when I perform it, really gettin' into it,

to, actually, the crowds over 'ere

sort of takin' one step back, doin' that.

Lookin' at me quizzical.

And, uh, I stand by the record,

a hundred percent.

It's a f*cking great record.

Um

It's me.

And, unfortunately

press does affect record sales.

Um

And it's affected, uh, "Rudebox."

And it f*ck' devastated me last week.

Most people get indifference,

and that's its own problem.

Where you just throw some sh*t

at the wall, and none of it sticks.

This time, I threw some sh*t at the wall,

and everybody went,

"Look at the sh*t on the wall!"

And it it deeply affected me.

Yeah, it deeply affected me.

Because I'd never had to

Everythin' was just intuition.

And then what

the whole "Rudebox" thing did was

f*ck up my intuition then for

up until now.

I'm not lookin' forward to seein' this.

What are we about to watch?

Um, Leeds is two nights at Roundhay Park.

Being filmed and beamed live

into cinemas and homes and

There's 42 million people watchin'

or somethin' like that.

There's more than one person

watching at home. Let's put it that way.

Lotta responsibility.

I've gotta be superhuman

quite soon.

There's a lot of people there.

I know they're not there to see me fail,

and I know that, innately,

who I am as a human being

and what I do for a livin'

is to entertain, and that will come out.

But, um there's something about,

you know, constantly havin' to deliver

that just just makes you feel queasy.

I mean, sometimes

"There's, like,

90,000 people there!"

And then other times

"There's f*ck'

90,000 people there."

You know, it's f*ck'

It's the weirdest, um,

thing to put yourself through.

Plus, you know, I mean, look at that.

This Volvo truck, right?

That Volvo truck's there

because of me, right?

This piece of wood's here

because of me, you know?

Have a look behind you.

You know, all that,

the wooden structure that's there

in our backstage area

is there because of me.

It's a f*ck' responsibility.

You know, when I was at sch

"There's a Volvo truck

gonna turn up because of you."

"Oh, sh*t."

What you do with that?

Look, it's got that on.

It's got one of these things

that goes all the way up there.

f*ck that.

Every Every bolt,

every nook, every cranny,

every person

You know,

you just wanna run away sometimes.

Maybe that's why

Do you know what I I

you know, I am enjoyin' about this

is that I'm authentic.

There's an authenticity.

And that has changed from the

Hi, baby! That has changed from the

earlier episodes

of this Robbie Williams documentary.

Hi, baby. Um

Those people are people.

- Yeah, what you eatin'?

- I was about to ask you.

Did you come and ask me because you know

that I'm more likely

to say yes than your mum?

Mm

Mom's

No.

That's a yes. Listen.

I've just reached a part that is probably

the most traumatic moment of my life.

What happened?

A lot. You'll be able to watch it

You'll be able to watch the documentary

when you're much older.

- Fine. I'll put those back.

- It's all right. I'll put 'em back.

I'll put them back.

Bye! All the very best. Love you loads.

- Bye, darlin'.

- When you gonna be done?

- Bye. Bye, darlin'.

- When are you gonna

Dunno! Bye, darlin'.

See you in a bit. Love you.

- Happy?

- Huh?

- You all right?

- Yeah, I'm

From the sublime to the ridiculous.

I've been more tired

before I've been on stage, haven't I?

- You have.

- Yeah.

Yeah. I 'ave, 'aven't I?

Yeah.

Take all this nervous energy,

and I turn it into just

entertainment gold.

Look at this face!

These next two gigs

are gonna be the gigs everybody remembers

'cause they're gonna go on tape.

Let's go out there, f*ck' 'ave it,

do what we've done every f*ck' night,

and deliver the goods.

Elvis, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change.

- Uh-huh.

- Courage to change things I can

Thank you very much!

Sometimes I feel like

Throwing my hands up in the air

I know I can count on you

Sometimes I feel like saying

Lord, I just don't care

Sometimes it seems

Look at the eyes.

You can see the eyes, right?

What am I seeing?

Trauma.

Trauma.

Robbie! Robbie!

Robbie! Robbie!

So here's the situation.

Last night was

an absolute disaster for me.

I developed a panic attack

before I went on

that didn't finish,

uh,

all the way through the performance.

Uh I could swear

that people could read my mind.

And, you know,

there's 90,000 people there.

I don't know if you've ever had

one of those dreams where you're on stage,

uh, and you don't know the script,

or you don't know what you're doin'.

I don't know if you've had one of them,

but how real and how terrifyin' that is,

well, it came true for me

on stage in Leeds.

f*ck' hell!

f*ck' hell!

Thank you, Leeds!

I came off for the encore,

and I never wanted

to go back onstage ever again.

I couldn't speak, and I kept shaking,

and I went I was going through trauma.

We got back to the hotel last night,

and everybody's world ended,

I just couldn't feel

anythin' other than guilt.

I had some sleepin' tablets

just to get to sleep

'cause I was never gonna go to sleep

thinkin' about a gig tomorrow.

I woke up.

And then Josie came in, and I said,

"Jose, I can't go on stage tonight."

She said, "You can.

You just need to get through"

I said, "You're f*ck' kidding me.

I'm not gettin' on."

Jonny came in. He said, "Look."

He said, "I've had Dave and Tim"

Uh, "I've had Tim cryin'."

Tim, me manager,

who's the most stoic f*ck'

man ever, you know, cryin'.

This is the bottom line.

If I didn't perform tonight in Leeds,

it'll cost me more money than I've got

to, um, cancel it.

And everybody else's livelihood

around me would be devastated.

And that'd be the end of me career.

I got in the helicopter and got there,

and I saw the crowd, and I was okay.

And then I went into a pit of absolute

self-annihilation.

"You don't deserve it."

"You can't do it."

"You w*nk*r."

"All this end-of-the-pier nonsense

is just f*ck' rubbish."

I was absolutely petrified.

I'm proud of you, buddy.

Thanks, bud.

Let's get through this.

Now, you might all think

this is absolutely mad.

And, yeah, it is.

But I'm in a situation

that's completely unnatural and unreal.

People are just waitin',

and always have been, for me to f*ck up.

And this was it.

I am now performin'

for my life.

I do the huddle, and I start to walk.

And as I start to walk,

the legs start to go.

And I get backstage,

and it's gonna go either way.

Either this tiny thread

of confidence that I'm finding

will stay with me,

or I'll just f*cking go to pieces.

One-two, one-two, thank you.

I sit and wait

Does an angel

Contemplate my fate?

And do they know

The places where we go

When we're gray and old?

'Cause I've been told

That salvation

Lets their wings unfold

The fact of the matter is

about being in this position,

I know that half the people don't care,

and half the people think I deserve it.

Um

But I'm lettin' you know I'm in pain.

I'm in real pain.

'Cause I'm f*ck' I'm sh*t scared again.

She offers me protection

A lot of love and affection

Whether I'm right or wrong

And down the waterfall

Wherever it may

f*ck me.

I know that life

Won't break me

When I come to call

Tonight in Leeds,

I pulled it off.

But we're not out the woods.

I'm f*ck'

I'm relaxed now,

but I'm pretty much crippled inside.

Through it all

She offers me protection

A lot of love and affection

Whether I'm right or wro-o-ong

And down the waterfall

Wherever it may take me

I know that life won't break me

When I come to call

She won't forsake me

Everything all right?

I'm lovin' angels instead

That tour, it

it broke somethin'.

What happens next?

I don't get

any less tired.

I don't get any less panicky.

And my psyche eats itself.

And, um

the worst is yet to come.

Do the rudebox, shake your

Okay then, back to basics

Grab your shell toes

And your fat laces

A little hand clap for some funk faces

And make your body move

In the following places

Goes up your back

And then down your spine

And when it hits your head

Okay then, back to bass heads

Dance like you just won

At the Special Olympics

They got the rudebox

Off the back of a spaceship

So sick I just had to take it

The R-U-D-E-B-O-X

Up your jacksy, split your kecks

Sing a song of Semtex

Pocket full of Durex

Body full of Mandrax

- Are we gonna have sex?

- Yes

Do you wear your knee socks?

Back to the rudebox

Got this double fantasy

Where we just never stop

I've got one design

And that's to funk you to the top

Know what's on my mind

It's only one thing you will find

I got one design

And that's to bump you till you drop

Rudebox

Do the rudebox

'Cause you so nasty

Rudebox

Shake your rudebox

Why you so nasty?

Rudebox

Do the rudebox

'Cause you so nasty

Rudebox

Shake your rudebox

Why you so nasty?

Okay then, back to spaceship

Take both pills, f*ck the Matrix

Jack those Jills, shake your Playtex

Rock three stripes, not the Asics

A-D-I-D-A-S

- Old school, 'cause it's the best

- Yes

- TK Maxx cost less

- Yes

- Jackson looks a mess

- Bless

Okay then, what to do

If you try to jack me

I'll rudebox you

If you rudebox me

I'll rudebox your whole crew

'Cause it's what I do

Ain't that right, boo?

I'll ride with you

If you can get me to the border

'Cause the sheriff's after me

For what I did to his daughter

- I did it like this

- You did it like that

I love it when you double clap-clap

Got this double fantasy

Where we just never stop

I've got one design

And that's to funk you to the top