01x01 - Let's Get Wrecked

[bunniefuu]

[quiz show host] That'll be true or false.

The "Ali" of the title

is the Welsh football manager?

- [guest] False.

- [host] Yes. Two points scored.

And finally, to Carl

[Robbie Williams] Last night,

in the middle of the night, I got up.

[host] Yes, two points.

A total of six to the reds!

[cheering on TV]

[Robbie] I'd been awake all night.

[host] Great! Now over to the yellows

to do the spinning.

[Robbie] When it comes time to sleep,

my body goes, "We're not!"

"We're not."

[pensive music playing]

Four hours of just tossing

and turnin' and

dealing with an amorphous blob of stuff.

[man] Fancy doing a bit of singing?

[Robbie] Fear.

[camera clicks]

Shame.

Pain.

The whole gamut of

human emotions.

I'm nearly 50.

I'm a dad, dad of four,

with a loving wife.

It's astounding

what's happened in my life.

But it feels as though

the past has me in a headlock.

- [crowd chanting] Robbie! Robbie!

- [Robbie] Something has to give.

[music intensifies]

[music fades]

[a cappella version

of "Let Me Entertain You" playing]

[vocalizing]

[vocalizing continues]

[Robbie] Go on, buddy! You can do it!

Come on!

[music and vocalizing continues]

- [man 1] You good?

- I'm f*ck' good at this!

[crowd screaming]

[Graham Norton] One of the biggest-selling

solo artists of all time.

[Jonathan Ross]

One of the greatest showmen.

[man 2]platinum albums, sell-out gigs

Keep telling me I'm f*ck' great.

Off me f*cking t*ts.

[cheering]

Would anybody like to see me fight Liam?

See if you can do your best with that!

You're my rock of empathy, my dear

[music fades out]

[original song fades in]

Come on, let me entertain you

Let me entertain you

I'm f*cking Robbie Williams.

- [young Robbie laughs]

- [cheering]

- [music ends]

- [birdsong]

[children shout and laugh]

[gentle instrumental music playing]

[Robbie] I am trying to sort out

the wreckage of the past.

And I'm picking a rather particular way

to exorcise these demons right now.

[man 1] Why are we doing it here?

[Robbie] I'm a hermit.

If I'm not on stage, I'm in bed.

- [man 1] That's why we're here.

- [man 2] Yeah.

[Robbie laughs] Yeah.

Can we just Can we start?

[laughs]

[muffled speech on video]

[Robbie] When I was a kid,

I was kinda like thick.

Can't spell.

I can't add up or subtract.

[man] Tape is rolling.

[Robbie] I left school at 16

with no qualifications whatsoever

and joined a boy band

that's gonna be the English version

of New Kids on the Block.

[man] Four, three, two, one.

Come on, come on, come on, come on

Take that and party

Come on, come on, come on, come on

Take that

["Take That and Party" continues playing]

[crowd whistling, cheering]

[reporter] Fantastic!

Wow, the crowd loved you!

How long have you been together?

- About two months.

- Two months.

[reporter] Did you all dance beforehand?

Well, I didn't do much dancin'.

Just, like, local discos and everythin'.

But I did enough

to keep up with these lot.

- [laughter on video]

- [video stops]

f*ck' 'ell.

Look at me!

I look very young.

You know, I was the baby of the band.

Come on, come on, come on, come on

Take that and party

[Robbie] I enjoyed everybody's company.

In my head, I'm looking up to these

older brothers that are, like, 20, 21, 22.

When you're 16, that's that gap's huge.

- ["Do What U Like" playing]

- [cheering]

[Robbie] I couldn't help

but be in awe of Gaz.

He was the captain of the ship.

How many songs

have you actually got together now?

We've got probably about 30 tracks in all.

Every week, Gary's coming in

with new material.

We're doin' new dances all the time.

Do what you like

No need to ask me

Do what you want

[Robbie] In the early days of Take That,

it was fun.

- what you like

- No need to tell me

Do what you want

The joy and the excitement,

the exhilaration.

- Ice

- Could never be as cold

It felt like this was all going somewhere.

You stir me up inside

It felt big!

And then it became massive.

Okay, so it's pretty quiet now,

but you should've been here

20 minutes ago.

- [crowd screaming]

- ["Could It Be Magic" playing]

They are the hottest young band

anywhere in the UK.

most popular British group

since the Beatles.

- [screaming]

- Take That!

Every time I'm near you

[screaming]

Whirling like a cyclone in my mind

These girls say

they've had the best night of their lives.

- You're my lifeline

- Whoa, whoa

[Robbie] Our success did give

some sort of sense of

"Hey!"

Answer to all answers I can't find

[Robbie] But it was always intercut with

"Whoa." [murmurs uncertainly]

[crowd screaming]

Come into my arms

[TV host] You're on bedroom walls

across Britain,

and you get mobbed wherever you go.

Do you still enjoy it?

[young Robbie] It's still enjoyable,

and it's like, um,

I wake up in the morning pinchin' meself.

"Is this really happening?" and

it isn't.

[laughter]

- We're not 'ere really, are we?

- No, we're not.

Baby, I want you

Come

Come

Come into

[current Robbie] Externally, I'm sure

that I would've been full of bravado

and trying to look as though

I think I'm the man.

of all of you

Could it be magic now

It was a complete

dunking

into the grown-up world

that I wasn't ready for.

[screaming, whistling]

Thank you and good night!

[crowd screaming]

The workload was

relentless.

[screaming continues]

We do this.

Then we get to there.

There was no five minutes in front of us.

[screaming continues outside]

Reason they're screaming

is 'cause Elvis is 'ere as well.

Got to go and do an interview now

for Radio 1.

We'll hopefully have lots of fun.

[DJ] It is a very special Rockland

this afternoon.

As we promised a few weeks ago,

we have the members, all five members,

of Take That in the studio.

Gary and Howard

and Jason and Robbie and Mark.

It's been going very well. Congratulations

for the chart success you've had.

How does it affect your everyday life

when you get up in the morning?

To speak the truth, and this is honest,

I wake up some mornings and think,

"Where am I, what do we do,

and what's me name?"

Who are you, what do you do,

and what is yer name?

I'm Robbie.

I am in Take That, and I sing and dance.

It was an unusual scenario to be in.

In a very intense

background atmosphere and surrounding.

That is a pressure cooker.

Without meaning to brag, it's been

it's been going good for us,

so it could end for us, like, at anytime,

and then all the people we laugh at

[Robbie] I'm still down to earth

and humble.

No, you're not! You're

You're downright arrogant

and and blasé and

- Downright arrogant, yeah.

- I'm not.

You are.

[tense music playing]

[current Robbie] When I turned about 19,

I started to have a long, hard think

about what was happenin'.

[screaming]

Too many interviews,

too many performances,

so many countries to visit,

and then repeat it.

Mark's been up since half past five,

and I've been up

since about quarter to six, six o'clock.

And we can't go to sleep. Jet lag.

Who needs it? D'you know what I mean?

Take That's fandom was obsessive.

[screaming]

[current Robbie] It was intense!

[man] Step!

[Robbie] On top of that,

there was an assurancy

about Gaz and his ability

mixed with

a coldness.

This is me prize lyric book, this is,

and it's really strange to look through.

It's got all the songs I've ever written.

Every now and again,

you'll find a little star next to it,

which means it's gone on an album.

That'll do me!

[Robbie] And it seemed like

there was one person being managed

in Take That, and it was Gary Barlow.

It was all geared around him.

[fans screaming]

And as a young person,

I would've been jealous of that.

I suppose a lot of me resented him.

- [long beep]

- [static crackles]

One, two, three.

"Hi, we're Take That." Okay?

- You're gonna do it.

- Okay.

Hi, I'm Rob. I'm good.

Watch this space for more of the same.

[Jason laughs]

Ready. I'll do it.

- It's good.

- Gaz, do you wanna sit at the front?

[Mark laughs]

[current Robbie] I was goin' home

from these days thinkin', "This is weird."

"Uncomfortable."

It's Lord of the Flies stuff.

Rock and roll.

[current Robbie] I wasn't adept

at dealing with the dynamics in the band

at such an early age.

And that's when the wheels came off

for me.

[background laughter]

[posh voice] People do tend to see us

as the boys next door,

and we still are, funnily enough.

We just happen to be

the boys next door for the Lord Lichfield.

[laughs]

Jacuzzis and outside ser

Boy? Boy!

Oh, thank you very much.

Went out last night.

Didn't get in until six o'clock.

But, you know,

do it while you're young, don't ya?

Uh, as I say,

really enjoying ourselves, so

- I've gotta get some booze!

- Obsessed.

[Gary] Aw, don't.

You've started this b*stard now!

[current Robbie] Adding petrol

to the fire,

I was ingestin' everything

that I could get my hands on.

Ecstasy, cocaine, drinking.

Couldn't eat a whole one! Wahey!

I'm literally drinking,

like, a bottle of vodka bef a night

before going into rehearsals.

Um

So that's happenin'.

That's happenin' every night.

[crowd screaming]

There was meetings that were had with me

where "we need you to behave" meetings.

What's the best thing about being here?

Um People not expecting me to be 'ere,

and the reaction on their faces

when they see me.

[woman] Go behind him

like a Glastonbury nutter.

[Robbie] It's a Glastonbury nutter.

It's one of them people

that get on It'll be Alright

It's Alright on the Night thing.

[current Robbie] It may have been seen

by management

that I was letting the side down.

Especially when I went to Glastonbury.

Anarchy.

[pensive music playing]

[current Robbie] I was told, "This is not

how you behave in a boy band."

Actually got nothing interesting

whatsoever to say.

Which is quite un uh

quite a bit disturbin'.

[current Robbie] The sense that, um,

I wasn't ready

or capable to fulfill the role

that was being asked of me was palpable.

One day, I went in for rehearsals,

and then at lunchtime, they said,

"Rob, we need to have a band meeting."

I said to the boys

I just couldn't be there anymore.

Then they said, "Look, we wanna see

if we can do this tour as a four-piece."

"What do you think?"

And in the end,

you know, "What do you think?"

was me deciding to

leave Take That.

[music fades]

Finally, tonight, the band minus one.

Take That are arguably Britain's

most successful group since the Beatles,

but when they arrived today

to record for the BBC's Top of the Pops,

there were just four of them.

["Back for Good" playing]

[reporter] Is anybody angry with Robbie?

[all shout] Yes!

[reporter] Would you listen to his music

if he does a solo career?

- No.

- Got a head of shattered dreams

Gotta leave it

[man] Did you have a plan?

[current Robbie] I think the the plan was

"Let's get wrecked."

[punk version of "Back for Good" playing]

Whatever I said, whatever I did

I didn't mean it

I just want ya back for good

I want you back, I want you back

[current Robbie] I moved to London

as a famous 21-year-old,

and I'm just going to parties

all the time.

I'll sing it

I had no direction.

No reason to be.

I'm losing a lot of days to hangovers.

[music distorts]

[music fades out]

Losing a sense of self.

Turnin' into something

that you don't recognize.

[distant screaming]

Wanted to make somethin' of myself.

Achieve somethin'. Be someone.

But there's nothing that I'm doing.

I was just in Groucho doin' a lotta coke.

[woman] What would you do

if you weren't a musician?

- [Robbie] Uh

- Be a footballer?

I dunno, actually.

Probably be a pig farmer.

[current Robbie] I needed somebody

to help me with the thoughts and melodies

that I have in my head.

[gentle music playing]

Ooh

Ooh

Ooh, ooh

[interviewer] So, who are you?

Who am I? I'm Guy. And I'm, uh

uh, Rob's MD and producer.

[interviewer] So what does that involve?

Mm. You haven't got

How much film have you got?

["South of the Border" playing]

- [Guy] No rest for the wicked.

- [Robbie] No rest for the wicked!

Freaky young lady

Name of Cocaine Katie

She makes my temperature freeze

[current Robbie] I set out

to make an album,

but I didn't know how I was gonna do it.

She'll bring you to your knees

[current Robbie] There was a list

of people that was sent to me,

and one was Guy Chambers,

and I went, "Him."

He was a jobbin' musician

considering becomin' a teacher

'cause things were drying up.

Apart from the leak in his roof,

which he had and couldn't pay to be fixed.

So, we really needed each other.

I think you oughta

'Cause you know

you're gonna have to leave

To a place where you can breathe

And you know there's no reprieve

[holds note]

[music fades]

- Good t Good takes?

- Yeah.

- Good takes?

- Yeah. Very good.

- You should have a little break now.

- Great. Tell 'em.

Have a little break.

A walk up the street or something.

Might want a coat.

[Robbie] I think I'll have

a sit down, actually.

Okay.

On account of

standing up has made me sick.

Sitting down has made me great.

[current Robbie] Life thru a Lens,

which was the first album,

was written in 12 days, when I found Guy.

And I thought

we had created something of worth.

But we are looking

at somebody in free fall.

[tense music playing]

Addicted to cocaine and alcohol.

It's impossible to help myself.

It's impossible to stop.

[Guy] You all right?

- [Robbie] Fine.

- [laughter]

I don't think there's a chance

to feel anythin' other than hungover.

And then

not hungover because you are

yet again in the process of, um,

creating a future hangover.

- [background chatter]

- [woman] I'm drunk as a skunk.

[laughter]

I sound I sound brilliant

after that many glasses.

- [woman] We've done well. Hurrah!

- Hurrah!

[woman] More pineapple!

[Guy] I mean, I knew when I met him,

he was drinking, and he had the shakes.

He was so on the edge and, um,

you know

[interviewer] Challenging?

Yeah. Of course.

It's really It's really challenging.

[Guy] f*ck.

[Robbie] f*ck.

[current Robbie] I think

this is the most difficult bit to watch.

Because of [sighs]

what I'm putting myself through.

[young Robbie] The last 12 months,

I've just sort of

lost meself into oblivion

of I don't know what.

And, uh, finding it difficult

doing interviews at the minute.

Only 'cause I'm not sure of what I should

and shouldn't be saying about things.

And I'm just havin' I'm having so many

so many doubts about meself.

I completely don't like

my own company at the minute.

[host] Robbie Williams in the studio!

- Did I mention my new single's out?

- [host laughs]

- How are you?

- Did I mention my new

Yes, I'm very well. Let's put this here.

- I'm very well, and how are you?

- Yeah?

[current Robbie] Everybody knows

I'm in trouble.

And how are you?

[current Robbie] But, um I didn't care.

I'd gone past the point of no return.

And, um

I needed grown-ups.

My life had spiraled

out of control so severely.

But my manager understood

what needed to happen.

I needed to be carted off

and taken away to rehab.

[man] Robbie, how you feeling today?

New single out 14th July.

It's called "Lazy Days." It's fantastic.

[man] Any message for fans

who might be a bit worried about you?

Uh, no, don't be worried about me.

I'm fine.

But a bit a bit, um

I'm appalled at the turnout.

When Michael Barrymore had a problem,

there was thousands outside his house.

See ya!

[sighs]

[gentle music playing]

[current Robbie] It's a tough watch.

Reliving that again.

I think the root of that darkness was

the perfect storm

of too much too soon.

But just because, in this moment,

I couldn't figure out how to live

[children chatter happily]

I knew that it didn't mean

that I couldn't.

You know, you don't wanna be

a has-been at 23.

[woman] You can have lots of treats.

[current Robbie] And this has

to go somewhere because

there's nothin' else.

["South of the Border" playing]

[woman] "Clean and serene for sixty days"?

Good, innit?

Dead serene.

'Cause you know

you're gonna have to leave

[current Robbie] I think for me,

it became like a weight-loss camp.

Nobody noticed that I was

just eatin' a banana a day.

[young Robbie] Towards the end of 30 days,

gettin' up towards my 60-day one,

I started to get very nervous.

- Gimme a line. Gimme a line.

- [laughter]

[man] Is that my car?!

[current Robbie] It's amazing

how alive I am instantly.

- [woman] Action.

- [man] Robbie!

[current Robbie] And all it's taken

is 60 days.

- [man] Do it in Spanish.

- Do it in Spanish?

[speaks in fake Spanish]

court case.

[continues in fake Spanish]

Robbie Williams

[continues in fake Spanish]

- for la meaty goodness. But also

- [laughter]

There's life there.

[woman] Robbie is back. Whoa, whoa.

[both] Robbie is back.

Robbie is back. Whoa, whoa.

[current Robbie] It had been two years

since Take That.

I'd waited a long time.

I needed to get goin'.

["Let Me Entertain You" playing]

[young Robbie] Here you join us

backstage tonight and, um,

gettin' nervous.

"Am I big enough? Am I enough?"

All that sorta gig.

[background chatter]

[cheering]

[screaming]

Don't call it a comeback!

["Let Me Entertain You" continues]

[screaming]

Hell is gone and heaven's here

There's nothing left for you to fear

Shake your a*s, come over here

Now scream

[crowd screaming]

I'm a burnin' effigy

Of everythin' I used to be

You're my rock of empathy, my dear

So come on, let me entertain you

Let me entertain you

Come on, then!

- [applause]

- [man] Robbie!

Robbie!

[young Robbie] I spent two years

forgettin' why I was doin' this job.

What I was doin' it for.

It's not for the money.

It's not for the critical acclaim.

I want to entertain.

That's what I wanna do.

So come on, let me

[current Robbie] Somethin' very excitin'

is happenin'.

I was learning how to be an entertainer.

Something that people

could come and watch.

But the record company

needed me to return on their investment.

[music fades, echoes]

The album comes out,

and it sells in total 33,000 copies.

You know, there's a lot of jeopardy

ridin' on this

because it was all on me.

[as Elvis Presley] Thank you very much.

- Was it bad last night?

- Yeah.

- Is it bad every night?

- No

Well, it's just one of the problem songs.

Just trying to find a way of helping you

so you can get that pitch.

- Thank you very much.

- It's just that song, innit?

"Old Before I Die" has sometimes been

a little bit hit and miss as well.

I think that's 'cause at that point

in the set, you're really hyped up.

You've got to listen more, that's all.

Listen to what everyone's doing.

'Cause everyone's doing great stuff.

You've gotta like,

"Ah, right! I'm part of this great band."

- No, I That's not the case at all.

- Just in terms of listening.

- Okay.

- Sometimes you just

It doesn't always I dunno, it just

You're just thinking of how

you can put this now, aren't you?

- No, no, no!

- [Robbie laughs]

- Go on, put it in any way you like.

- No, I mean, I just

I just think

you're giving 100% to the crowd,

not necessarily holding back, going,

"I should concentrate

on being the singer"

This is five minutes

before I'm goin' on to do a gig.

D'you know what I mean?

- [man] What's the matter

- What do you want now?

- Piss off.

- [man] You wearing that?

- Yeah.

- [man] You look a c**t.

[laughter]

Go out there

and be confident, Rob. [laughs]

[current Robbie] Figuratively speaking,

my career was falling off a cliff.

And I'd had quite a few goes with singles

that wouldn't be allowed to happen now.

And a memo goes round the record company.

I am about to be dropped.

[young Robbie] When you find yourself

starin' into an abyss,

you just might find yourself staring back.

- [man] I think I know what you mean.

- [Robbie laughs]

[Robbie] Right, stop.

[current Robbie] It looks

as though that's it for the Williams boy.

What a lovely day for it.

[current Robbie] But in my back pocket,

I had somethin' special.

[gentle strumming]

[Guy] "Angels."

Two, three, four.

[harmonizing]

And I know I'll always

Be blessed with love

And as the feeling grows

"Angels" comes out,

and then thank God for that because

everything changed.

[audience] I'm loving angels instead

[Robbie] And through it all

She offers me protection

A lot of love and affection

Whether I'm right or wrong

[host] He's back. He's live.

He's better than ever.

He's Robbie Williams.

Wherever it may take

[DJ]Robbie Williams,

with a chart climber.

won't break me

When I come to call

[current Robbie] Something was connecting

- She won't foresake me

- and you could just feel this momentum.

I'm lovin' angels instead

It was the rocket taking off.

With a [whooshes]

When I'm feelin' weak

[audience] And my pain walks down

A one-way street

[c*ck accent]

Currently, 'avin' an 'it in Shveden.

[laughter]

So we may go to Shveden,

as we are 'avin' an 'it.

["Angels" continues playing]

[audience] And as the feeling grows

[current Robbie] The album sales

are gettin' bigger.

The audiences are gettin' bigger.

[audience] And when love is dead

From the jaws of defeat,

we seem to be making headway

into the world.

["Angels" continues playing]

[screaming]

[man] Open the window. Let the sound in.

[fans screaming]

[man] Moon! Moon!

And through it all

She offers me protection

[DJ] Is it always like that when we open

the window in a radio station,

and all the girls

stood outside scream and shout?

- It's like that outside me launderette!

- [DJ] What's it like back home?

Do you wish sometimes

to have a normal life?

This is a normal life.

- [screaming]

- I know that life won't break me

I don't know what it is

that's so special about that song.

But whatever it is, it had it.

I'm loving angels instead

- [cheering, whistling]

- Thank you!

[man] Hello, Rob.

It's not a silver surprise.

It's not a gold surprise.

It's a platinum surprise!

[audience whooping]

He's gone platinum, everybody!

Um, I'm gobsmacked with this.

Fantastic.

[cheering]

I've got a career!

[cheering and applause continues on video]

Thank you very much.

[woman] Robbie?

It was good!

- [sighs]

- [laughter]

- [chatter]

- [man] Rock-and-roll capital of Surrey.

[Robbie] Right. Bloody 'ell.

- Right?

- [man] Yeah.

[chatter]

[woman] He was fab, wasn't he?

[current Robbie] Success definitely,

subconsciously,

did equal happiness.

- I'm speechless.

- [man] Did you enjoy that?

[woman] Absolutely brilliant.

[current Robbie] This is my second go

at biting the apple.

Take That was the first.

This is the second.

[woman] Well done.

- [man] Brilliant.

- Thank you.

[current Robbie] I'm a pop star now.

I'm the fully thinged

I'm the fully thing thinged.

[man 1] Peter Snow

getting Robbie's autograph.

- I think it's a swing to the left.

- [man 2] Left?

Oh right. All Saints.

[chatter, laughter]

[dreamy music playing]

[current Robbie] Fame,

in and of of itself, is a playground.

And I didn't know

who I was gonna be in that playground,

but I wanted to be in it.

[cheering]

- Sh!

- [man] Name and age.

Um, Nicole Appleton, and I'm 23.

[man] If you had one night

with Robbie Williams, what would you do?

I've done it!

[dreamy music continues]

[current Robbie] Nicole Appleton

is in a band called All Saints.

The less smiley version

of the Spice Girls.

- I could change it with mine.

- [man] That'd be really funny.

- I should do that?

- Yeah!

[current Robbie] So, at some point,

our paths were bound to cross,

and we struck up a relationship together.

[dreamy music continues]

She was kind and fun and sweet.

You know, she was just a good soul.

With my relationship with Nic,

it was very important to me

to learn to become

the man that I was supposed to be.

[applause]

You know, these are miracles

that are happening in my life.

[screaming, whistling]

You know when something's right?

- Tonight's right!

- [screaming]

And I'm so 'appy!

[screaming]

[music fades]

[current Robbie] There was no left.

There was no right.

There was only forward.

[mariachi music playing]

Hi, mate. What's the date?

- [Guy] It's 19th January.

- 19th January.

The new year. 1998.

- Here at Jake's place in Jamaica.

- [Guy] Wahey.

We came from Gatwick yesterday,

me and Guy.

- Say hello, Guy.

- [Guy] Hello, Rob.

Hello, mate. Come with me.

[squeals]

We brought our own studio with us.

A little 8-track.

So we can record while we're out here.

That's safe, innit?

Keep it under lock and key.

[door creaks]

[Guy] Move up a bit.

Don't want your ugly mug

on my video diary.

I look really white.

That's 'cause you are.

[strums guitar]

[posh accent] He's from Surrey, you know.

[Guy plays a melody]

[current Robbie] Traditionally, there is

the "difficult second album" syndrome.

I didn't feel that way with Guy.

I think that what we were doing together

also excited him.

I've come to remind you

That we'll come and find you

This is a happy song

Do-do do-do-do, do-do

He was a older brother,

mentor, musical mentor

[singing continues on video]

and I was a student.

Do-do do-do-do, do-do do-do-do

Do-do do-do-do

- It's okay there.

- Do-do do-do-do

- Do-do-do

- Do-do-do

- Do-do

- Do

[singing continues]

[Guy] As you can see,

it is now pouring down with rain.

Quick. Quick, Rob.

Because it mustn't get wet. The stuff.

[laughter]

Send you our love 'cause we care

[current Robbie] There was so much love

between me and Guy in those moments.

news from Jamaica

[Guy] Day seven. [laughs]

[current Robbie] And this was

a beautiful way to spend your life.

- [Guy] It's rather nice, isn't it?

- [Robbie] It's fantastic.

Sure we're gonna get

a lot of inspiration here.

- It's amazing.

- This is amazing.

[Guy] This is just I think it's one of

the most amazing places I've ever been.

- Yeah.

- Actually. It's up there.

Have you been to Rhyl?

[Guy laughs]

- It's very like

- In Wales.

It's just like this.

- [phone rings]

- [Guy] Oh dear, where's the phone?

Hello?

Is that Nicky?

It's Guy.

She's on the telephone.

- Is she?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Can I just leave it here?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Guy's gonna leave the video camera here.

So, I am possibly looking

at the most amazing view that, um,

I've ever seen in my life.

Yeah, honestly, babe, I'm not kiddin' you,

I walked into this place

I'm about 3,000 feet up in the mountains.

There's There's just forests everywhere.

I can see Kingston

I'm not kidding you, right,

as I walked in

and I was shown around the place,

um, I got onto the balcony and just cried.

Yeah. Yeah.

- [Nicole] Wow!

- Just like

Just so proud.

It's You know, it's like,

I'm like a child there.

Talkin' to a mum.

About what I'm experiencing and

The truth is, um

I was still still a baby.

You know, I was 16

when I joined Take That.

And I guess that there is

some sort of broken teenager in there

that will be, um,

tryin' to sort out

the wreckage of the past.

But

I couldn't let it go.

[guitar strumming]

[vocalizing]

[Robbie] "Do you feel cut up?"

"Do you feel cut up

by the people duh-duh-duh you've met?"

Hm.

- "That you've left by the wayside."

- No, it's gotta rhyme with "et."

Mm.

- "Have you popped your clogs yet?"

- Mm.

[current Robbie] I suppose, at this point,

my memories of being in that band

are sullied with

how I felt during the process.

So, you can imagine what this

young man is feelin'.

I guess you know I hate you

- [guitar playing]

- Needless to say

I guess you know I hate you

Are you still around?

Why haven't you managed to die yet?

How can you sleep?

- D'you know what, though?

- What?

Don't like the chorus.

The fact that it's so jolly?

So j I don't want it to be jolly.

I don't

It It doesn't feel right

when I'm singing it.

I want it to be nasty.

I want it to be as nasty as the verse.

I'm not being

[Guy strums guitar]

ironic or

[Guy] Hm. Mm.

I'm being f*ck' serious.

f*ck' hate these c**ts.

[Guy] Mm. [strums rapid chords]

You could prop up a bar in hell

How do you sleep?

How do you laugh?

How do you cry?

How do you lie?

- Na na na na

- Na na na na na

How do you touch?

How do you feel?

How do you keep me from

Angry. Venom. Venom.

[man] Spittle.

Spittle!

[Guy] That's good, that.

Yeah, I can see that. Yeah.

[current Robbie] Teddy bear!

Come, come get in bed.

Put your drink down, and just come

and get behind me. Gimme a cuddle.

Hi, Daddy.

Talkin' about the

the band I used to be in.

- Yes. Question?

- Yes.

Who did you hate the most and why?

Who did I hate the most?

I disliked Gary

the most

because

he was the one that was supposed to 'ave

the everythin' and the career.

And I wanted to make him pay.

I was

- How?

- I was vengeful.

By havin' the career

that he was supposed to have.

[fans screaming]

Here's a song about a group of people

that I used to be with an awful lot.

[cheering, whistling]

Those people are called Take That.

[screaming]

You know, there was five of us.

There was one very small one.

[screaming]

And, uh one had like a mop on his head.

[imperceptible]

The other one had a mohican,

and he was a twat.

And the other one looked a bit like this.

[cheering]

Listen.

There's somebody booing me down here

that actually likes Gary Barlow.

[whooping]

He's not selling

any more records now, girls!

Let's face it, he's dead!

[cheering]

[audio fades]

I'm sorry that I treated Gary like that.

Nobody graduates from childhood fame

well balanced.

The years of finding yourself,

maturing, and growin' up

that everybody has is taken away from you.

Um, Nicky?

Will you marry me?

"Yes"?

Good.

All right, then. Bye!

[laughs]

[current Robbie] I guess

that I'm tryin' to convince myself

that I'm the kind of person

that is ready for that kind of commitment.

I know I'm not.

I couldn't look after myself.

I was in no fit state

to offer myself as a partner.

- Are you gonna sit on the sound thing?

- Yeah.

[current Robbie] And, um,

the relationship with Nic ended

a few months after this.

Stop filmin' now.

[man] Just a bit of traffic, then.

[static crackling]

[woman] Probably why he's goin'.

- [woman] I can't believe that happened.

- [Robbie] Look at that!

- [man] Wow! f*ck!

- [woman] It's like a sea of

[Robbie] It's all mud.

[current Robbie] I felt

like I was an infant

in the grown-up world.

So, I'm just about

to go on at Glastonbury,

and I don't know what's gonna 'appen.

It's, uh 88,000 people.

[cheering]

It's the epoch of credibility.

And it's the biggest gig

of my career so far.

Come on!

Let's f*ck' 'ave it!

I'm terrified.

Absolutely terrified.

[crowd shouting]

[current Robbie] This had the opportunity

to go very badly.

[tense music playing]

There's still a bit of me goin',

"I'm still Rob from Stoke-on-Trent."

"I'm still 16."

[cheering]

That's one of those moments

where I think I'm gonna be found out.

[cheering, whistling]

[cheering intensifies]

- ["Angels" playing]

- [cheering]

I sit and wait

Does an angel contemplate my fate

If you must!

And do they know

The places where we go

When you're gray and old

'Cause I've been told

That salvation lets their wings unfold

So when I'm lyin' in my bed

Thoughts runnin' through my head

And I feel that love is dead

I'm lovin'

- [current Robbie] Lo and behold

- angels instead

they embraced me!

[crowd] Through it all

She offers me protection

[current Robbie] Me.

Bobbins from Take That.

[crowd] whether I'm right or wrong

And down the waterfall

[current Robbie] How does it feel

to have thousands of people

sing the words that you've written

back to you?

[crowd] When I come to call

It is intoxicatin'.

[crowd] She won't forsake me

[cheering, whistling]

I'm loving angels instead

[cheering]

[music fades]

[current Robbie] It felt like

this is what I'm supposed to be doin'!

[pensive music playing]

But then you realize,

subconsciously or consciously, that

"I can't go back."

[cheering, whistling]

I'm on a runaway train.

And this was gonna grow bigger

and bigger and bigger.

[cheering, whistling]

[intense music playing]

[music slows]

I'm not looking forward

to watching what's next.

I didn't have the tools to deal with

what's to come.

[music intensifies]

[crowd chanting] Robbie! Robbie!

[chanting continues]

[music fades]

[cheering]

[cheering intensifies]

[cheering ends abruptly]

["Strong" playing]

My breath smells of a thousand f*gs

And when I'm drunk I dance like me dad

I've started to dress a bit like him

And early morning when I wake up

I look like KISS

But without the makeup

And that's a good line

To take it to the bridge

And you know, and you know

'Cause my life's a mess

And I'm trying to grow

So before I'm old I'll confess

You think that I'm strong

You're wrong, you're wrong

I sing my song

My song, my song

My bed's full of takeaways

And fantasies of easy lays

The pause button's broke on my video