Prep & Landing: The Snowball Protocol (2025)

[bunniefuu]

Just hear those sleigh bells jingling,

ring ting tingling too

Come on, it's lovely weather

for a sleigh ride together with you

Outside the snow is falling

and friends are calling "Yoo hoo!"

Come on, it's lovely weather

for a sleigh ride together with you

Giddyup, giddyup,

giddyup

Let's go, let's...

Tree-Scurrier to Little Drummer Boy.

All halls have been

properly decked.

Over.

Little Drummer Boy, do you copy?

Hot!

Wayne?

Hot. Gingerbread burning,

gotta go...

You didn't update

your GBM software, did you?

Self-destruct mode initiated.

Exploding in 30 seconds.

- No, stop.

- No, cancel.

You have to enter

your password to override!

Huh? What's my password?

I don't know.

It's your password.

Exploding in 20 seconds.

Oh! Got it.

Christmas. One, two, three.

Password, incorrect.

Still self-destructing in five...

- No, no, no, you're incorrect.

- Four, three...

Stop, stop counting down.

...two, one.

Merry Christmas.

Oh.

Lanny...

I am initiating

Snowball Protocol.

We will never speak

of this again.

Well, that mission was not

very tinsel, Wayne.

Not very tinsel at all.

Ahem. Zip it.

Snowball Protocol.

- Oh, right.

- Merry Christmas.

Oh, back at you, Jose.

- Merry Christmas, Alba.

- Feliz Navidad.

So wait. Do you have

any special plans for Christmas Day?

Nope. Not a one.

Oh, my family has a full day

of activities planned,

and I'd love for someone to beat

my great aunt Lori at pin

the horn on the narwhal.

She's starting to get

a little too c*ck about it.

So, you in?

Oh, boy, that sounds fun.

But I don't know, we just

worked all night together.

I mean, wouldn't you rather spend

time with your family and friends?

I'm just a co-worker, right?

Oh, I thought, we...

Oh. Yeah, right.

Co-workers.

Wayne?

You didn't pick up when

I called you all eight times.

What, did you lose

your GBM again?

No.

Hi, Magee.

Oh, Tiny, hi.

You know, you know, your presence is

a gift I'd love to return.

Okay, bye.

Oh, no, no, no you don't.

The Big Guy wants to speak to

you both in his office S-T-A-T. Stat.

Not sure what you did,

because the boss usually settles in

for his long winter's nap about now.

It's probably about the GBM.

Okay.

I'll go in, smooth this over,

and we can all get out...

He wants to see Lanny first.

Remember the Snowball Protocol.

Why are you being weird, weirder

than usual? What's Snowball Protocol?

Nothing.

You're up to something.

If you lie to The Big Guy

and he finds out,

you'll be demoted...

to gift wrap.

Lanny.

Lanny?

Gift wrap.

Hello, sir.

One long night, huh?

Have a seat, Wayne.

Huh? Oh, yeah.

So...

I have something here.

Oh, my personnel file.

Is this some sort of a review?

Not that I have anything

to hide.

Well...

Lanny told me about your...

big secret.

He what?

You know, I don't know what

he told you, sir, but this morning...

it wasn't that bad.

This morning?

Listen, I've seen other operations

go way more sideways than this one.

Oh! Do tell.

Well... I don't... Now?

Oh, okay.

Well...

This one time...

I can't believe Magee called us

in for a highly classified mission.

I know.

It's super classified

and super important.

Yeah, okay.

Who called this meeting?

Glen. I should have guessed.

Which conference room, Tiny?

Yeah, what, save me the

good chair, you know the one.

He never listens.

Reporting for duty, Magee.

Good, because this is a mission

of utmost importance.

I call it operation...

Eggnog.

Meet Commodore Charles

Eggnoggington, the Third.

Nog, for short.

Aww.

Wait, I thought pets

weren't allowed at work.

They're not.

He's been sick because of

his sensitive little tum-tum

so I brought him to work

to keep an eye on him.

Which is why I said

it was classified.

You can't leave this office.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You want us to babysit your pet?

That's the big classified

mission?

Yes.

No, no.

No way. I'm out.

I'll have my mother bake you

her famous Christmas lasagna.

Triple layered with parm on top.

Double layered, parm sprinkle

to keep it festive.

Deal. I'm in.

Great.

Here's a few instructions.

Oh, and one thing.

Nog loves fruitcake

but he cannot have any.

Isn't that right, little Noggy-Nog?

If anything happens to him,

I will snap you like a candy cane.

Back in a hour.

Goodbye, my handsome

little gentleman.

That's for him, not you.

All right.

Let's start wasting one hour.

Wow. This is super detailed.

Smells like wet fur in here.

There's even a diagram

of Nog's no-no pet zones.

Don't even think about

touching his left flipper.

Come on, can't be that hard

to watch him. He's mostly blub...

- ...ber? Huh?

- Where's Nog?

Oh, frostbite.

Mail call!

For you, Zamir.

Careful.

Oh, there he is.

Target acquired.

Letter for you, Doreen.

She's headed for the elevator.

Janice. Janice.

Wayne?

Janice, hold the elevator.

Why Wayne? So you can hire more

carolers to break up with me again?

Wayne, wishes to break up

with you so here is your stuff

What? I mean, that

was her favorite song.

I get no points for knowing that?

Nope.

No!

Bye, Wayne.

Stairs.

- Janice, please!

- Oh, no, no, no...

What do you want?

Wait.

I waited long enough for you,

Wayne.

You're right, you're right.

What I need isn't here.

I'm dating someone new,

and he's on the nice list!

Oh, where is he?

There he is.

No!

That ball goes straight

to the toy factory.

Check.

Check.

Come on.

Oh!

Sorry.

Come back, sweet prince.

I don't get paid

enough for this.

Okay, where are you,

you rotten little eggnog?

Fruitcake delivery.

Oh, no. He can't eat fruitcake, Wayne.

Over the fields we go.

Screaming all the way!

No lasagna is worth this!

And with this final,

delicate flourish,

my masterpiece is complete.

No, no. No, no, no. Stay.

No, no...

His tum-tum.

Wayne, Magee is back in five.

We gotta go.

Sorry, Chef, bye.

I should have been

a sugar plum dancer.

Hey, watch out!

You almost scratched it.

Make way.

You're right, Tiny.

I don't know why Glen

called that meeting.

I mean, it was clearly a power trip

so he could feel important.

Am I right?

Has he always been

that shade of green?

Hold it together, Nog.

Tiny, you little gossip.

What was that?

Good one, Tiny, I don't know

who Glen thinks he's fooling,

but that toupee does

look like reindeer fur.

Oh, frostbite.

Wayne.

Oh, no.

- Too much fruitcake.

- Oh, no.

No, no, no. Not on the carpet.

Roasted chestnuts.

Oh! Little Noggy-Nog.

Isn't he just the cutest

little ball of mush?

Who let this window open?

He could have escaped.

Oh, well I...

Oh, no.

I'm sorry, that was me.

I almost fainted from the

excitement of playing with Nog.

Oh!

I think I found my new babysitter.

I hate fruitcake.

That Nog.

I hadn't heard that you lost him.

Oh, so...

that's not the big secret

Lanny told you about.

It was not.

Well...

If it wasn't about Nog...

...then I think

it must have been something else.

Maybe Lanny mentioned

the incident on the island last year.

Such a nervous talker.

Oh, Lanny.

Oh!

I'd love to hear all about it.

Okay.

Yuletide Island. Oh, wow.

This is so tinsel!

And very humid.

Yep, no more chimneys,

no more stockings.

Lanny, all I want now

is peace and quiet.

Have to post all of these rule signs

so everyone can have fun.

Safely.

Okay, everybody,

here is a detailed schedule.

I have a full day

of fun activities planned for everyone

before our big celebration

feast tonight.

And yes, it's laminated, so you can

take it in the ocean. You are welcome.

So organized.

Quick reminder.

Find a sunscreen buddy.

Or you'll wind up as red

as Santa's suit.

You know, Magee,

other people know how to relax.

They don't need instructions.

Yes, they do.

I can't wait to do

all the things.

I can't wait to do

none of the things.

I'll be in my hammock.

Thank you.

Okay, well...

see you later?

Well, you missed

beach volleyball, Wayne.

Luckily they said hitting the ball

with my face still counts.

Last call for jet ski rides.

Wayne, last call

for jet ski rides.

This vest fits great.

It smells like a sea dumpster.

Whoa!

Sorry, Wayne.

You missed the sand sculpture

competition.

Look, Wayne,

I made the two of us.

I didn't win,

but I tried the hardest.

Huh. Well, at least

sand castle Wayne participated.

That's it.

I am on vacation.

Nobody cares about

your schedule.

I'm just trying to relax,

but you just keep going on with your...

blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah!

You know what, Wayne?

I spend so much time planning things,

the least you could do is participate

and show some gra...

ti... tude...

Rolling snowballs, it's him.

Renato.

Renato.

Oh.

That reminds me,

you know what I did

as a thank you,

I booked you an appointment

at Spa Navidad...

with Renato.

Renato.

What? There's no way.

I mean, he never has any

last minute openings.

Oh, I'm actually scheduled

to get a massage...

Quiet. Hey, Renato,

your next appointment is over here.

Come with me, my jingle bell.

But what about the schedule and

the rules and like the big feast...

When Spa Navidad beckons,

you must heed its call.

Okay.

I'll handle it, you go,

go relax, you work so hard.

You do so much for so many,

so leave.

Oh, you got your hand in mine.

I feel so safe.

Wow, Wayne.

I'm surprised you're taking over

as the activities director.

I'm not.

I am on vacation.

No more rules.

No more rules! No more rules!

As we embark on our journey,

join me, will you,

in some simple yoga poses.

Beginning with...

Santa's Sleigh.

Next...

Down the Chimney.

And now...

Trimming Tree.

- I don't think I...

- No, no, no. Don't think, you can.

Hold it for three deep breaths.

Oh, what's happening?

- What's happening?

- Two turtle doves.

One partridge.

And release.

You've gone straight to Yule Log.

You're learning.

Hey, Wayne.

Some of the other elves

have question for you.

Oh, were you sleeping?

And now we must relax your mind.

Yeah, my mind doesn't

relax well. I'm very worried...

All is calm.

All is bright.

Oof, you really know

how to ring those bells.

Wayne, I mean, if you aren't

gonna help them,

maybe we should get Magee.

No, she's busy.

Yeah, but...

hey, you know what?

If you're so concerned,

why don't you take care of it?

Yeah.

Sure. What are friends for?

How can I help?

Oh, okay yeah.

Yeah, okay. I'll...

Oh.

Wow.

Yeah, okay.

And on the final stage

of our journey, you must travel inward,

to your place of merriment.

Meetings.

Schedules.

Reports.

Handbooks. Labels.

Binders, pens, pencils,

files, orders, sticky notes, calendars.

I would like to thank Magee

for scheduling this meeting

It could have been an email,

but it's way more fun in person

It's 5 p.m. on Friday

but we never dream of leaving

Where would we be

without Magee?

Hiya mom, what's that you say,

you're proud of me?

Oh, really? Despite how I ignore

your unsolicited opinions

In fact, you think that all

my life decisions have been perfect

Where would she be

without Magee?

Her spreadsheets

are accurate

Her spelling's immaculate

Let's circle back

- To Magee

- Thanks, fellas.

Where would we be

without Magee?

Where would we be

without Magee?

Where would we be

without Magee?

I can't.

I don't know.

I... I don't know.

Lanny?

I hate this vacation,

and my back is burning.

Oof!

Looks like your sunscreen

buddy really let you down.

Oh, wait.

I'm your sunscreen buddy.

No more rules! No more rules!

Well, that's alarming.

This is so not tinsel.

You have achieved

total merriment.

Our journey is complete.

The Yuletides.

They summon me.

Oh, a tip is optional, but I do have

student loans, so anything is appreciated.

Magee, we need your help.

Magee?

Magee?

Are you broken?

Where's Renato?

Renato.

All right, fine.

Look, Magee,

you drive me crazy, but...

I know you work twice as hard

to make sure we can all relax, so...

thank you for planning

this whole trip.

I screwed up everything, and...

and you were right.

Oh! Did you just say

I was right?

Yes.

No more rules! No more rules!

Oh! What in the...

No more rules! No more rules!

- No rules!

- Oh, Wayne.

Coffee.

Schedule.

Bullhorn.

It's jingle time.

Yeah, to the right, to the right, okay.

That's it, take it over there.

Feast this way, Stella.

Oh, good to see you Frankie.

Charlie,

you're looking sharp. Glen.

You know, I never thought I'd be so

happy to see you back in your usual

type A, fun-scheduling self.

I suppose achieving a little bit

of merriment isn't such a bad thing.

Renato.

And sorry, Lanny.

I mean, I just wanted my vacation.

I didn't mean to ruin yours.

Glad you had my back.

Always.

I'll get you some aloe.

Yes.

I read Magee's incident

report about that.

It was very long.

Sir.

I know I messed up this morning.

I shouldn't have initiated

Snowball Protocol

and made Lanny keep it from you.

Oh, well,

that's not the big secret.

What? That's not it?

No.

No, Wayne.

There was no need

for Snowball Protocol.

Just open the file.

It's a...

birthday card...

to me.

But I never told anyone

my birthday was...

today.

Yes.

Your big secret.

Lanny discovered that Christmas Day

also happens to be your big day,

and it has always

been overlooked.

But overlooked no more.

That Lanny

sure is a thoughtful one.

"Dear Wayne,

have the most tinsel

birthday ever.

Your friend..."

"...co-worker.

Lanny."

Friendship is such

a wonderful gift.

She moved it!

She moved it!

Did you guys see that?

No more cheating, Great Aunt Lori.

Wayne?

What are you doing here?

Well...

Christmas is for family

and friends and...

you're just about

the best friend I've got.

Happy birthday, Wayne.

Merry Christmas, Lanny.

Come on in.

Hey, everybody.

Wayne's here.

Happy birthday, Wayne.

Oh, hey. Well, thanks,

thanks everybody.

Wayne, it's your birthday?

And there was a card?

Lanny!