[ theme song ]
[ sighs ]
It's been a long day, Calvin.
But with the Lord's help,
we'll be at the mission soon.
[ burro brays ]
[ grunts ]
Don't move, Parson.
If you don't wanna get hurt,
don't move at all.
I don't wanna sh**t no Parson.
Ugh!
Benny, you've gotta learn
not to give commands
in a falterin' voice.
That's how I knew it was you.
Willy?
Willy Cain?
Brother Thaddeus now,
by the Lord's redeemin' grace,
but the same poor sinner
I used to be.
This crazy outfit
you're wearin'--
it's a joke,
ain't it, Willy?
No, no joke, Benny.
Here, take it.
Put it away.
Behave yourself.
There'll be supper enough
for two of us.
Apples and nuts ain't my idea
of a fancy breakfast, Willy,
but I gotta admit,
you make a real nice cup
of coffee.
Well, thanks, Benny.
Willy, how'd you know
last night
when you gave me back my g*n
I wasn't gonna use it on ya?
You must be foolin'.
We're old friends.
What's that
got to do with it?
Well, you think
I was afraid to use it?
I don't wanna hurt
your feelings, Benny,
but I just don't believe
you're as chockfull of sin
and corruption
as you'd like me to believe.
Maybe you just ain't got
any talent for it.
Thank you.
Oh, thank you.
You can find
the Grand Teton Hotel
down the street
and turn to the left.
It's where most
of the big livestock men
usually stay,
but most of the tradin'
is done in the saloon.
Well, let's be thankful
for that.
Yes.
Well, it's a great town
we picked this time.
Two more r*fles
and they could fight a w*r.
Quit staring,
we're supposed to be
business men.
Hey, where do you think
we'll find Floss?
In the hotel
or in the saloon?
I'd say that depends
on a couple of things--
how much she misses me
or how badly she needs a drink.
I've got a feeling
she might be suffering
from a little of both.
What's that supposed to be?
Oh, that's, uh...
that's my own
special little tribute
to payday, Mr. Duffy.
Greatest little invention
since, uh, whiskey and women.
How 'bout that, huh?
I wouldn't know,
I save my money.
Oh.
Judge Garth said there's
something for us to pick up
for the mission here.
Is that right?
This it?
This is it--
the finest church bell
west of the Mississippi,
all crated and ready to go.
It don't weigh more
than the back end
of a dreadnought.
You can sign for it right here.
Wanna sign it?
Yo.
I've, uh, never tried
to lift the back end
of a dreadnought, Mr. Duffy,
but, uh, I think you're right.
Just a minute, Steve.
All this takes
is a little muscle.
What were you saying
about a little muscle?
What's that name people
are supposed to call you
by now, Willy?
That funny name--
you mentioned it last night,
remember?
Yeah, Brother Thaddeus.
Yeah, Brother Thaddeus.
Whatever made you
wanna become a priest?
I mean, it's like
all of a sudden,
somebody tells ya
General Custer
was a full-blooded
Comanche Indian, you know?
Well, I'm not a priest, Benny.
I'm just a plain lay brother.
Yeah, well, what's that mean?
Well, for us who never went
to school too much,
you might say we're the kind
that bake the bread,
plant the fields,
and do whatever odd jobs
come about.
Not much money in it,
is there, Willy?
No money at all.
Don't they let you
ride a horse, Willy?
No, Benny,
I took a vow of poverty,
and now about you, Benny.
What brings you around here?
I'm on my way
to meet some, uh,
business associates
in Medicine Bow.
Well now, I like ya
expressin' business associates.
Benny, if it's
the same kind of business
ya used to go in for,
you're makin' a mistake.
Not only have they
a hard-workin' sheriff
in Medicine Bow,
they've got
a first-class jail.
It's only been
broken out of once.
Yeah, Willy? How do you know?
Willy, I said,
"How do you know?"
You just believe me
when I tell you that I know.
All right,
you can let go down there.
We got it rigged pretty good.
I hope.
Ring it, mister. Will ya?
Haven't got
the tongue on it yet,
but it shouldn't take long.
I'm gonna have to smooth
this down a little bit, Steve.
Where's the file?
Hey, who's that?
I don't know.
Somethin' familiar about
the way the big fella walks--
sorta like
a two-legged buffalo.
Hey, Steve.
Steve, come here.
Well, I've seen
worse lookin' layouts, Willy.
What's the odds
against findin' me
a nice, soul-savin' shot
of whiskey, huh?
Could that be Willy?
I don't know.
I've only seen him once.
I've been tryin'
to forget that ever since.
Well, gentlemen.
Father Blaise is inside.
He don't feel good.
What's the matter with him?
He's sick.
If he wasn't holy,
he'd have died
like an old elephant.
That's him all right.
What's he doin'
in that outfit?
I don't know,
but whatever he's doin',
I'll bet ya it's fishy.
[ knock at door ]
Come.
Oh, Brother Thaddeus.
Brother, forgive me
for having to greet you
in this way.
Please, Father,
don't try to get up.
You are very kind, Brother.
Very kind.
And since you
are considerably younger
and much stronger,
very welcome at this time.
But you must be tired yourself.
Please fetch that chair
and sit down.
Yes, Father.
[ church bell rings ]
Did you hear it?
[ continues ringing ]
[ chuckles ]
A foolish question.
How could we help but hear it?
It works.
Ya heard it, didn't ya?
You're not kiddin'.
Well, if that
won't wake the dead,
it should at least
have a helpful effect
on the living, eh?
By the way,
do you know Judge Garth?
Oh, no, Father.
It was the judge who ordered
the bell from San Francisco.
He's been
a remarkable friend
to the mission
through the years.
You will have to thank him
for me when you see him.
I thank him?
Yes.
I'm being called back
to pasture, so to speak.
Father Superior's message
came only yesterday--
a telegram.
You'll find it on the desk.
It places you
in complete charge here
at St. Joseph's,
at least until
some other arrangement
can be made.
Me? In charge?
Yes, and you will also
have to take my place
teaching school,
but that won't be for long.
There are two nuns
coming from a convent
in Des Moines--
the Sisters of St. Claire,
both experienced teachers.
But I was only gonna be here
for a week
to train some boys
in gardenin'
and find a good woman
to cook and clean house
for ya.
I couldn't possibly
teach school.
And why not?
I'm an ignorant man, Father.
I haven't got the education
of a well-trained goat,
if you'll forgive me, Father,
and, well,
there's one other thing.
It was getting
very interesting, Brother,
and what else?
Uh...
Uh, nothin', Father.
I mean, nothin'
I should trouble you with.
Father, you look tired.
Maybe you ought to rest.
I'm afraid you're right.
Thank you.
Willy?
Willy!
Trampas!
Hey, Willy!
How are ya?
Well, now how'd
you know it was me?
How did I know--
oh, Willy, please.
Would I recognize
a horse in a knapsack?
[ chuckles ]
Hey, well, what are you
doin' in that outfit?
Well, it's on the level,
though I can understand
your suspicions.
Well, nothin' personal,
Willy, it's just that,
well, I never expected--
God's been good to me.
As the priest
who baptized me said,
"Willie Cain, this may not rank
with the conversion of St. Paul,
but it comes
with equal surprise."
[ laughs ]
Are you here
to see Father Blaise?
Oh, we just put
the bell up on the church.
Judge Garth and Father Blaise
have been friends for years.
As a matter of fact,
the mission's on his property.
Well, bless ya!
Bless ya both!
I didn't know
you were Samaritans.
Hey, careful what you call me.
Oh, you remember Steve,
don't ya?
We met--
informally,
you might say.
I was one
of the innocent bystanders
you put through a wall
in the Medicine Bow saloon.
Oh, Heaven forgive me.
I wasn't even
in the fight!
Now, please,
please, come along.
Look, I'll show ya.
Ya both will understand
how badly I need your help
when I explain it to ya.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Sit down.
No, Willy,
I think for this
I better stand.
Well, I know what you
both must be thinkin'.
Willy Cain--
he just don't look right
in the habit of St. Francis,
and of course, you're right.
The Lord--
he's not only merciful
to poor sinners,
sometimes he seems
downright careless
about the people
he's got workin' on his side.
I tried to explain
to Father Superior.
I said on my first assignment,
away from the monastery
that is,
that it might not
be a good idea
for me to go this close
to Medicine Bow.
You know what I mean?
Uh, yes, Willy,
I think we do.
Did you ever tell
Father Superior that,
all by yourself,
you once wrecked
the Medicine Bow saloon,
and that all by yourself,
under the influence
of demon drink,
you tore it apart
like a one-dollar watch?
Or that a few hours after you
left the Medicine Bow saloon
in splinters,
you became the first man
in history to ever break out
of the Medicine Bow jail?
I tried to tell him.
I said--
What'd he say?
It isn't what he said,
it's what I said.
I said, "I left a few scars
in that town the last time
I was there."
Well,
what did he say to that?
Well, he said,
"Let's not have
any foolish scruples
about mistakes
long since forgotten."
He said,
"You just go up there
and help Father Blaise
until he's feelin' better."
You still have
the same sheriff here?
Uh, yes, Willy,
the same sheriff.
His deputy?
Oh, he went into the feed
and grain business for a year
or two,
but he's back
mindin' the jail now.
Seems it took him that long
to regain his confidence.
Oremus.
What is that
supposed to mean?
Oh, well,
that's Latin, Trampas.
It means "let us pray."
[ church bell ringing ]
Lord, help this least
of your stumblin' servants.
Forgive the thousands of times
I have offended you.
And assist me
in my own block-headed way
to know your will
and not my own.
Help Father Blaise get well.
Make me a proper shepherd
to those left in my care.
Oh, and please, please, Lord,
don't gamble
at trustin' me too far.
You know I
haven't got any strength
or wisdom of my own.
And one other thing...
[ playing organ ]
Who's there?
Me, Willy.
I'm just testin'
the organ.
Don't pump as easy
as it should, you know?
[ continues playing ]
That's a nice hymn, Benny.
I didn't know you could play.
I got all kinds of talent,
Willy,
but it ain't exactly a hymn.
Fact is, I, uh,
I wrote it
for a kind of special friend.
You would have liked her,
Willy, in the old days.
Her name is Floss.
[ piano music playing ]
♪ I won't be home
for the wedding ♪
♪ I won't be wearin' a veil
♪ For tomorrow
they're hangin' poor Billy ♪
♪ High as the flight
of a quail ♪
♪ I won't be home
for the wedding ♪
♪ I won't be wearin' a veil
♪ For tomorrow
they're hangin' poor Billy ♪
♪ High as the flight
of a quail ♪
♪ For tomorrow
they're hangin' poor Billy ♪
♪ High as the flight
of a quail ♪
♪ Some day
I'll find Billy's treasure ♪
♪ Somewhere the gold has to be
♪ And if I
were dear Billy's widow ♪
♪ They'd have to give it to me
♪ Oh, I won't be home
for the wedding ♪
Puttin' up a church bell
sure gives a man a thirst.
Got a new singer in here.
Sounds pretty good, huh?
♪ For tomorrow
they're hangin' poor Billy ♪
Just listen to that.
What's the matter with you?
It's that voice.
It sounds familiar.
♪ High as the flight
of a quail ♪
♪ Everyone knows
I've been faithful ♪
Hey, now that's all right.
I wonder what her name is.
Floss.
What, do you know her?
I used to.
[ exhales deeply ]
A whiskey.
Uh, beer.
♪ Oh, I won't be home
for the wedding ♪
♪ I won't be wearin' a veil
♪ For tomorrow
they're hangin' poor Billy ♪
Who's the tall fellow
at the end of the bar?
Which one?
The one staring at Floss.
♪ I won't be wearin' a veil
That's what the customers
are supposed to do.
Yeah.
But she's not
supposed to stare back.
[ cheering and applause ]
Oh, uh, pardon me,
my name's Slattery--
here to buy horses
for the Army.
The bartender tells me
you're top hand
at the Shiloh ranch.
Yo.
Pardon me?
Yes, that's right.
Well, I've heard a great deal
about Shiloh and the quality
of its stock.
How many horses
do you think
you could provide?
Well, that's hard to say,
Mr. Slattery.
It depends on what
the Army's lookin' for.
Well, sound saddle stock,
broke and ready
for military service,
nothing over nine years old.
Well, you'll have to talk
to Judge Garth about that.
He's the owner.
♪ The wedding date...
Charming girl,
isn't she?
I think so.
Uh...
I'd like to meet her.
I was wondering if...
well, we are a little ways
from Washington DC,
and I thought you might
be able to arrange it.
Let's talk about horses,
Mr. Slattery.
[ cheering and applause ]
Hi.
Hi.
I've been tryin'
for an hour
to think of something
real bright to say
when you came out,
and all I could think of
is you look prettier than ever.
Well,
that'll do very nicely.
It's not true, of course,
but maybe that's why I like it.
Can I walk you to the hotel?
Sure.
It's been four years
since Dallas, Floss.
I know, I counted back
real carefully on my fingers.
I had one left over.
[ chuckles ]
You were a baby then.
I felt like your aunt!
Well, I never felt
like your nephew,
and I never thought of you
as my aunt.
You have grown up.
[ chuckles ]
Yeah, I'm gonna start shavin'
any day now.
Hey, wanna feel my beard?
Uh, no, no, don't tempt me.
[ both chuckle ]
It's, uh, probably
none of my business,
but of all the places
you could have chosen,
why Medicine Bow?
Well, let's just say it
was as far as the train ticket
would take me.
That plus needing a job.
Hmm, simple as that, huh?
Well, why not?
Another town,
another saloon.
With a crowd
like the one tonight,
you just sing
a little bit louder
and smile a little bit wider.
All right, it isn't
the San Francisco Opera House
or any of the other things
we talked about.
Whoever does get
exactly what they want?
Did you?
Well, you win a few...
lose a few.
Uh...
when can I see you again?
Me? Well, that's easy.
Any night after seven
for the price of a beer.
That's not what I mean.
Yeah, I know what you meant.
Trouble is,
I'm no better for you now
than I was four years ago.
Now you let me
worry about that.
Besides, I don't think
I bruise too easy...
not anymore.
Well...
Well, you're very sweet,
and you're also--
As I was saying,
when can I see you again?
Well, I'm gonna be rehearsing
some new routines next week.
Come by the saloon
any afternoon about 2:00.
It won't be busy then.
Isn't there any other place?
Not for us, I'm afraid.
So then he says to me,
"Suppose we just talk
about horses, Mr. Slattery."
[ chuckles ]
I thought that
was sort of amusing.
Don't you?
Not necessarily.
Naturally, I talked
as though I didn't know you
from Queen Victoria's,
uh, cat.
Do you?
Yes, ma'am,
for over two years--
claws and all.
Yes?
How well, uh,
didyou know him?
I already told you.
He was just another cowhand
I met in a Texas saloon
four years ago.
Well, tell me again.
Tell you what again?
Why, when I asked to meet you,
he gave me that funny look
and the Mr. Slattery treatment,
and why was he being
such a noble jackass
about it?
You're hurting me.
Am I?
Please.
I don't feel
like playing games.
[ knock at door ]
Yes?
It's me. Faber.
Look what I found.
Well, Benny,
welcome home.
Hello, Benny.
Hi, Floss.
That was real sweet.
Any objection?
No, not with him.
He's harmless.
All right, Benny,
stop looking as though
I tied a knot in your neck.
Have a drink.
How'd you get here?
The hard way--
on a $12 horse
and an empty stomach.
Where are all the others?
Dead.
Uh, we made a mistake.
It won't happen again.
I told you that town
was too big a town.
You bust open a bank
in a town like that--
I said we made a mistake.
You think the bank here's
any easier?
I'll find out.
From the looks of it,
I don't think it is.
You saw the payroll money
on that train. Got any better
ideas how to get at it?
Why don't you hold up the train
before it gets here?
You mean put some logs
on the track?
That's right.
Well, don't you suppose
that might make the guards
on the train
just a little bit suspicious,
and they just might
blow our heads off
with those r*fles they carry?
[ chuckles ]
Why don't you stick
to your singing, sweetheart.
All right, so you
figure something out.
[ chuckles ]
Or do you like it better
being supported by me?
Why don't you move in too,
Benny?
What's another mouth to feed?
Uh, well, I didn't know
how things were, Floss.
I'll go back out
to the mission.
The what?
Yeah, a friend of mine
from the old days--
he got religion.
He'll put me up, till you
get things organized here.
Well, at the rate
things are going here,
don't hold your breath.
Well, so long.
Don't ever talk to me
like that again.
Why not?
It's true, isn't it?
If I hadn't
gotten the job here--
You can leave
anytime you want to.
But you won't
'cause without me,
you'd be stuck
in a two-bit saloon
the rest of your life.
Now go to your room.
Art and I have some planning
to do.
Well, since you
put it so nicely.
Haven't you, uh,
forgotten something?
Pleasant dreams.
Dream about money.
I always do.
You know...
one day
you're gonna turn around
and find a knife in your back.
Floss?
Mm-mm. Benny.
He's stuck on her.
Well, he won't be around
that long.
Hi, Willy, how are ya?
Hello, Benny.
Heaven will bless you
for the wonderful labor
you performed
this last week.
Yeah, well, uh,
thanks, Willy.
What are you gonna do now?
Teach school?
Advanced English Grammar.
[ chuckles ]
What would you know about it?
Well, I'm half a lesson
ahead of them.
What's in the letter, Willy?
Oh, it's from Father Blaise.
He's back at the monastery.
He sends his
"e-ffection-ate" best
and some holy pictures
for everybody that's helped
at the mission.
He sent what?
Holy pictures.
Oh, and he sent
a little St. Francis medal
for you, Benny.
[ all clamoring ]
Hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, Andrew!
You sit over here.
Now sit up straight.
Yes, Brother.
Felix, stop pickin'
your nose.
Yes, Brother.
Today we're gonna study
nouns and verbs
and all kinds of fancy things.
It's good for the inside
of your heads.
Praise God.
You know what
I'm talkin' about, Grover?
Yes, Brother,
nouns and verbs.
And do you know what
nouns and verbs are?
Yes, Brother.
A noun is a name of any person,
place, or thing.
A verb is a word
expressing action,
existence, or occurrence.
A proper noun is--Hold it!
Uh-huh.
Uh, uh, that--
that's fine, Grover.
Father Blaise was teaching us
about gerunds and gerundives.
Huh?
Gerunds and gerundives, Brother.
Oh, gerunds and gerundives.
Yes.
Well, a smart man--
that Father Blaise.
Like I always say,
it don't hurt to know grammar.
Oh, well, uh...
[ clears throat ]
Well, uh, we'll be getting back
to the grammar.
First thing, I think we better
practice our welcome speech
to Sister St. Luke
and Sister St. Jonas.
I mean, well,
we don't wanna stand there
with our foot in our mouth
when these holy
and learned sisters
come steppin' down
off the train, do we?
Now, uh, well, I want you all
to repeat after me.
You ready now?
All: Yes, Brother.
"Welcome to the Golden West..."
Welcome to the Golden West....
"and St. Joseph's School,
so dear."
and St. Joseph's School,
so dear.
"We shall do our very best..."
We shall do our very best...
"...to make you happy here."
...to make you happy here.
That's very good.
I made this up myself.
You don't say.
When are those sisters
comin' into town?
Tomorrow, but they're
not comin' into town,
they're gonna stop
the train for them
where it crosses the road,
right over that hill.
How come they get
that kind of service?
I guess because
they're holy women.
You see, Benny,
even on this earth,
there's some reward.
Huh?
All right, let's go over
those grammar rules again.
Hey, Willy.
I'll see ya later, huh.
I'm gonna go into town.
[ humming ]
♪ Oh, I won't be home
for the wedding ♪
♪ I won't be wearin' a veil
♪ For tomorrow
they're hangin' poor Billy ♪
♪ High as the flight
of a quail ♪
♪ Oh, I won't be home
for the wedding ♪
♪ I won't be wearin' a veil
♪ For tomorrow
they're hangin' poor Billy ♪
♪ High as the flight of a--
Quail.
I was just dusting.
Really?
Never realized
there was that much to it.
Well, how do you like it?
I'm a little curious
as to where you learned
that song.
I don't remember it
among the piano pieces
I ordered from St. Louis.
Well, Trampas taught it to me.
Oh.
You're not angry?
No, I'm not angry.
I showed Mr. Faber
and Mr. Slattery
some of the stock.
They'd like to, uh--
[ chuckles ]
What's the matter?
Did I interrupt something?
No, we're just having
a little musicale.
Oh.
You know, they're hanging
poor Billy...
high as the flight of a quail.
[ chuckles ]
Cute song, huh?
Yeah. What did you say
about Mr. Slattery?
Oh, yes, he and Mr. Faber
would like to see you.
Ask him to come in.
Yes, sir.
You can finish
your dusting some other time.
All right.
Judge.
How do you do?How do you do?
Judge Garth.
Fine lot of horses
you've got, Judge.
Shall we go into the study?
Oh, we'll only be a moment.
Could you deliver us 200 head
within the next three weeks?
Probably.
I can guarantee you 150, though.
You just made a deal
with the United States Army.
[ chuckles ]
There nice people to do
business with, I understand.
We'll be back again
as soon as we get the papers
in order.
Fine.
There certainly is a lot
of competition
among the ranchers here
to sell us their stock.
Yes, I imagine there is.
Well, you'd be amazed
at the presents
we've been offered,
but then I guess
good will is important.
Uh, don't get
the wrong idea, Judge.
We turned them down.
See you in a week or so.
Good-bye, Judge.
[ door shuts ]
What kind of bone-head move
was that with Garth?
You wanna q*eer
the whole thing?
[ chuckles ]
Well, there's
no harm in trying.
He's so honest,
it's coming out of his ears,
and you tried
to put the bite on him.
Well, why did we
come out here anyway?
We came out here
to make it look legitimate,
and because this is the way
to Benny's mission.
Think there's anything
in what Benny told you?
Well, we'll find out,
if I'm not arrested first
for soliciting bribes.
That's very fine, Benny.
Very fine.
Now listen,
I don't want any fightin'.
I want you to act
like gentlemen.
I beg your pardon,
but are you in charge here?
Uh, sort of.
Well, my name's Slattery,
and this is Mr. Faber.
Glad to meet ya.
My name's Brother Thaddeus.
We heard about
your good work out here
and persuaded some
of the citizens in town
to take up
a little collection.
Uh, please accept this
with everyone's best wishes.
Well, bless ya.
Well, bless you both!
[ train whistle blows ]
Oh, excuse me,
I have to welcome
two holy sisters.
I want to thank you
both again.
It's the least we can do
for such a worthy cause.
Everybody up, come on!
Follow me!
You could have made your point
for less money.
All right now, straighten up.
Straight now.
[ train whistle blows ]
Brush your hair.
[ brakes squeal ]
Sister St. Luke.Yes, Brother.
Welcome!
Thank you.
[ drum roll and bugle call ]
What was that?
Well, a little trouble
in paradise.
That was supposed to be
Gabriel's Horn.
[ drum roll and bugle call ]
Sister Jonas.Yes, Brother.
Well, welcome
to St. Joseph's.
Thank you, Brother.
Welcome to the Golden West
and St. Joseph's School,
so dear.
We shall do our very best
to make you happy here.
This way, Sisters.
Thank you, Brother.
Thank you, Murphy.
Well, what do you think?
I think for once in his life,
Benny was right.
Come on, Calvin.
The only trouble is--
the only thing that proves
is that the train will stop
for nuns.
What more do you want?
Are you crazy?
Me play the part of a nun?!
Whom would you have play it?
Benny? Faber? Me?
But it's blasphemous.
[ chuckles ]
Oh, that's a fancy word
coming out of you.
All I know is you'll
be on that Friday train--
you and the payroll money.
I have a job
in the local saloon, remember?
It's been keeping you
and Faber in pocket money
since you got here.
It's been sweet of you.
Just the same,
you'll be quitting your job
tomorrow.
You got sick of it,
that's all, and you
decided to go east.
Um, this will pay
for your expenses.
I've been taking
a little collection
among all the horse dealers
who've been trying
to butter both sides of me--
my own
and the Federal Government's.
This will pay for your ticket
and the nun's costume.
Now just a minute!
Something wrong?
I'll say there's
something wrong.
Tell me about it.
I have got a mind of my own,
that's what's wrong.
I am not something
you can wind up
and set in motion
like a clock!
Please, the neighbors.
After all,
as far as this town knows,
we're practically strangers.
You'll have to learn
to space your drinks
more prudently,
especially in the role
you'll be playing.
I bought that bottle.
Do you hear me?
I hear you.
I bought it,
and I am a big girl.
I bought it with money
I made singing cheap songs
in cheap saloons,
and for the past two years,
in between swindles,
I have been paying
for the clothes on your back!
[ crying ]
Your name
will be Sister Benedict,
from the same order
as Sisters Jonas and St. Luke,
but from a convent in Omaha,
not Des Moines.
Brother Thaddeus will receive
a telegram the day before
announcing your arrival.
You'll be leaving
in the morning.
Well, what kept you?
Dancing girls.
They got them all over town.
Free beer on every corner.
Well, yes, Felix,
Samson was a figure of history,
but all we can
dependably say
is that he
was a judge of Israel,
and according
to the Old Testament account,
a man of tremendous strength
and moral resolution.
Like Brother Thaddeus?
Yes, Felix, it would be hard
to think of a more apt example,
especially if Brother Thaddeus
were ever to get that angry.
You know, Brother,
all that stuff about Rome
not being built in a day--
I think if you'd
have been there,
they'd have made it.
Oh, Willy,
I almost forgot.
Uh, you got a telegram.
For me?
Yo.
"Sister Benedict
assigned teaching staff
St. Joseph's.
Arrive Friday train.
Rev. Mother Mary Jerome."
Well, congratulations,
Willy.
You're gonna have
a real goin' concern.
Well, they never mentioned
another sister to me.
Uh, excuse me.
That'll make
three of them now.
Yeah.
How's the romance goin'?
There is no romance.
She, uh, quit her job
and left town five days ago.
Where'd she go?
How do I know?
How nice.
We can certainly use more help.
If Rev. Mother
is sending another sister,
she must think very highly
of your school.
Is there anything we can do
to help make her welcome?
Well, we can make
another banner.
Uh, are you going to have
the boys play for her?
Oh, sure.
Enough people get sent here,
they'll get to be pretty good.
Uh, excuse me, sisters.
I wonder what
she'll be like.
Well, nice of you
to join us, Mr. Slattery.
My pleasure, Brother.
I take great interest
in this mission.
Heaven will bless
and reward you, Mr. Slattery.
[ train whistle blows ]
[ drum roll and bugle call ]
[ brakes squeal ]
Thank you.
Say a prayer
for me sometime, Sister.
I'll, uh, hurry things along.
[ grunts ]
Easy does it.
Hold it right there.
Put your hands down.
Make one move and my friends
start sh**ting...
right into the crowd.
[ c*ck g*n ]
You make a move
and a lot of people
are gonna get hurt.
Ugh.
No, Brother, the children!
Just because you were taken in
doesn't mean that
everybody in this town
is as stupid as you are.
The only difference
between this big ape
the way he is now
and the way he was
when he first hit town
is that now he's added
grand larceny to his list.
All I ask is you give Willy
a chance to explain.
Explain what?
That he's sorry he broke out
of my jail two years ago?
That he didn't help plan
this robbery?
And know from the very beginning
that Sister Benedict
was gonna turn out to be
a saloon singer dressed up
like a nun?
That's the truth--
I didn't know.
I suppose you didn't know
this other fella either.
What's his name?
Benny.
Yeah, I knew he was a thief.
I liked him.
I thought we were friends.
I'll bet you were friends.
Sheriff, you ain't gettin'
no place pickin' on Willy.
Why, we could be
using this time
trackin' down Slattery
and the rest of them.
I'm gonna track them down,
all right, but you're not
gonna be along.
Well, it seems to me
I got a right to go along.
Don't forget it was me
that got hit on the head.
I'm not forgetting.
It's gonna be your lady friend
we're after.
Well, you think
you can't trust me.
I think you should've told me
Willy Cain was at the mission
when you first found out.
Joe.
Lock up Willy,
and if he so much as blinks
at ya, you sh**t him.
I sure enough will.
You heard him.
Well, I'm sorry, Trampas.
Would you tell Sister St. Luke
and Sister Jonas...
well, never mind.
I'm goin' out
and roundin' up a posse.
I suggest you get back
to Shiloh and stay there.
Finish it up.
We'll get back.
It's gettin' late.
Later the better.
Might be a good idea
not to go back at all.
You mean that?
No, but it's still
a good idea.
Have another?No.
Sure funny about Floss,
isn't it?
Yeah, it's a scream.
Oh, come on.
You're not the first man
ever to be fooled by a woman.
You're sure not
gonna be the last.
Just isn't Floss
that fooled me,
I was a sucker
for the whole bunch--
Slattery, Benny, Faber.
Ooh, I'd like
to get my hands on Faber.
What about Willy?
Think he had something
to do with it?
No, I don't think so.
I don't know.
I don't know anything anymore.
I'm headin' back.
You wanna go?
Later.
[ sighs ]
Oh, Lord,
my shepherd and my shield,
deliver me from bondage
that I may serve you better.
Oh, please, Lord,
without violence this time
to the sheriff's deputy,
who's only doin' his duty
as he must.
Grant somehow that justice
will be done
in this grave matter,
and that the children
you've entrusted to my care--
Lord, so soon?
Let's you and me
understand each other, Willy.
Yes, sir.
When I unlock that cell,
I want you to walk out,
pick up that tray
with both hands,
and then walk back
in that cell.
Don't worry,
there won't be an violence.
I'll say there won't...
'cause I'm gonna have
this r*fle
pointed right in the middle
of your face.
Now come on out
and pick up the tray.
Take it back in the cell.
Bless ya, friend.
Huh?
I said, "Bless ya, friend,"
for your kindness
and your devotion to duty.
I still don't trust you.
Understand?
I'd just as soon sh**t you
as look at ya.
[ whispering ]
Thank you, Lord.
Where do you think
you're goin'?
Shh! You're gonna wake him up!
Wake who?
The deputy!
Willy, what'd you do to him?
Well, nothin', Trampas.
He's asleep.
I don't believe you.
Go ahead, go.
Look for yourself.
How did you get out
of the cell?
Now, it was just an act
of providence.
Well, it's gonna take
an act of Congress to keep you
from goin' back in there.
Now, Willy, you go on in.
I'm not tryin' to escape.
I'm gonna bring
those people back.
Well, you let the posse
handle them.
You're posse can't catch cold
in the rain.
Believe me, I know.
What makes you think
you can do any better,
even if that
is what you're after?
Well, I know every hideout
in every part of this country.
I know everybody
that runs them.
How do I know
you're on the level?
Trampas, you saw the way
those children looked at me
when the sheriff
called me a thief.
You think I could
ever sleep again lettin' them
believe that about me?
Willy, the last time
I tried to help you,
I got in
so much trouble that--
Well, then you better
sh**t me, Trampas.
That's the only way
you're gonna stop me.
Bless ya, Trampas.
Hey! Hey, wait for me!
[ whinnies ]
You better know
where you're goin'.
Well, I guess we both
have to have faith now.
I swear, you were less trouble
before you got religion.
Would I lie to you, Willy?
I don't know.
On my mother's grave,
they never stopped here!
I never saw the beautiful
dancehall woman,
and I never saw the three men!
Well, bless ya for thinkin'
of your mother, Tom.
You know something,
Willy,
if we get caught
before we find them,
there isn't anybody
in the whole world
that's gonna believe us.
Yeah, that's the way
of the world, Trampas.
You can only do what's right
and hope people understand.
So far it hasn't paid off
too good.
You feel right about
what you're doin', don't ya?
Yeah, I guess so.
Well then.
Well then what?
We tried four places,
and all your old pals
say they haven't seen them.
Willy, they could be
long gone by now.
No, no, no, uh-uh.
You see, they need food,
need a place to rest.
They can't ride day and night
with a woman along.
You just remember
what the Lord told us--
"Ask and you shall receive;
seek and you shall find."
[ sighs ]
Well, how many more places
you got left to try?
Well, just one.
Well, fine, fine.
We bust into one more place,
you grab the fella
by the collar,
and you ask him--
No, we don't bust in here.
This place is different.
Why not?Because they can see us
comin' a mile off.
You better let me
do this one alone.
No deal, Willy.
You don't have to prove
you're brave, Trampas.
I'm not brave.
I just don't know if I
can trust you out of my sight.
No, sir, Willy.
When that sheriff
locks the key on that cell,
I don't intend to be
sittin' there all alone.
Coach Leaving!
Hey, yo!
Hiyah!
[ whistles ]
Everything quiet up there?
What do you expect them to do?
Throw a party?
There won't be another one
along for a week.
We'll be out of here by then.
When do we split up
the money, Slattery?
When we get out of here.
I could use some now,
you know.
I know you could--
to buy some liquor with.
That's why you're
not gonna see any yet.
I'll get rid of this.
Good, it gives me the creeps.
I thought you looked
kinda pretty in it.
That nice conductor
gave me goose bumps
when he asked me
to say a prayer for him.
I couldn't even look at him.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
I felt kinda bad
about Willy too.
He's the best friend I had.
Stupid maybe,
but he had a lot of class.
Well, maybe we're both
getting soft, Benny.
You dreamed up the whole thing
about the train.
If he was such a good friend,
what made you do it?
I don't know, I guess
I wanted to be a big man.
To impress Homer and Art?
Not them so much, you.
[ chuckles ]
You're sweet, Benny.
"You're sweet, Benny."
Benny.
You think you could get me
a drink?
Yeah.
Yeah, sure, Floss.
This may come
as a surprise to you,
but you know
it gets hot up here.
How soon till I get relieved?
I'll send Benny out
when it's time.
Say, uh...
when are you
gonna get rid of him?
When we leave here.
Hi, Harry.
How 'bout a drink?
Ask your boss.
Slattery ain't my boss.
He pays the bill.
That's all I know.
One bottle, Harry.
Slattery said no drinks.
Uh...
unless, uh,
unless maybe, uh,
you got money to pay for it.
It ain't enough.
Harry, please.
Beat it.
How 'bout this, Harry?
Solid gold.
It ain't gold.
I know that,
but what is it?
Bring ya luck.
Where'd you get it?
Holy man gave it to me--
Brother Thaddeus.
Yeah, Harry? Huh?
One bottle.
Thanks, Harry.
Bring them back.
[ horse whinnies ]
Hey, Slattery,
somebody's comin'.
It can't be.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Come on.
Harry. Harry!
Yeah, what?
Two men are on their way
up here looking for us.
Get rid of them.
Uh, yeah.
♪ I won't be home
for the wedding ♪
♪ I won't be wearing a veil
♪ For tomorrow
they're hanging-- ♪
You're in good voice.
I can hear you at the bottom
of the steps.
Having a nice
little party, huh?
Well, we had to do something,
just sitting around here.
The party's over.
Benny, I'll talk to you later.
Your fat friend's
on his way here.
What do ya know,
Floss' fella is with him.
Easy there.
If he gets a look at you,
I've got to k*ll him.
I may anyway.
Harry can handle him.
You better hope so.
Now everybody
be nice and quiet.
You know the fella
that runs it?
Yeah, we're old friends.
Then you can trust him then.
Of course not.
Harry!
Willy.
Willy Cain.
What are you doin'
in that disguise?
It's no disguise.
I'm in the service
of our Lord.
No foolin'?
This is a friend of mine--
Trampas.
Hi, Harry.
Any friend of Willy's
is a friend of mine.
Well, what do they
call you now?
Well, they've given me
the name of Brother Thaddeus.
Willy!
Willy, is this true?
It's as true
as Gabriel's Horn.
What are you doin'
way out here?
We're lookin' for
three men and a woman.
They robbed a train.
Oh, I thought you was
in the service of the Lord,
not the law.
Well, in this case,
it's one and the same thing.
They been by here, Harry?
[ chuckles ]
You know me better
than that, Willy.
I couldn't tell ya
if they was right upstairs.
Then you won't mind if I look?
Help yourself.
Uh, how 'bout a--
how 'bout a drink first?
Old times sake.
I don't touch it anymore.
I do.
Well, it's been a long ride.
I could sure use one.
They'll be up here in a minute.
Get Willy
a cup of coffee.
Sure, Harry.
Thanks.
Yes.
Oh, Willy,
it's been a long time.
Indeed it has.
A whole lifetime.
Well, here's hopin' you find
who you're lookin' for.
I'll drink to that.
Uh, have another.
Uh, no, thanks.
One makes me brave,
and two makes me foolish.
Come on, Willy,
let's get it over with.
Oh, I was only jokin'
with Harry.
If they'd really been here,
I'd have known it the minute
I looked at you.
[ chuckles ]
Good old Willy--
He can read me like a book.
Well, it's been nice
talkin' to ya. Edna.
We'll just water our horses
and be on our way.
Yeah, well, uh,
good luck, Willy.
With friends like you,
I already got it.
I can't understand you,
Willy.
One minute you
wanna search the place,
and then all of a sudden--
I didn't have to.
They're there.
Come on.
Glad to get rid of them.
Where'd you get this thing?
Hmm?Where'd you get this thing?
Oh, Benny gave it to me.
Why?
I noticed Willy starin' at it.
Yeah, well he--
Holy...
That's where Benny
said he got it.
He told me a Brother Thaddeus
gave it to him.
That's--that's Willy!
No wonder Willy
was starin' at it.
He knows they're up there.
Hold on.
We just let them
think we're leavin'.
You're sure they're inside?
Unless Harry's changed
his ways since last I saw him,
they're there.
[ g*nsh*t ]
[ horse whinnies ]
I see he hasn't!
[ g*nsh*t ]
[ g*nsh*t ]
[ g*nsh*t ]
[ g*nsh*t ]
[ g*nsh*t ]
[ g*nsh*t ]
[ g*nshots ]
[ c*ck r*fle ]
[ g*nsh*t ]
Benny.
[ g*nshots ]
Cover me.
I'm goin' around back.
Yo.
[ g*nshots ]
[ g*nshots ]
[ g*nsh*t ]
[ horse whinnies ]
[ g*nshots ]
[ g*n clicks ]
[ groans ]
Do--Don't sh**t.
[ sighs ]
You ought to take
better care of that, Benny.
[ sighs ]
I'm sorry, Floss.
[ chuckles ]
No chance of talking my way
out of this, is there?
Well, I didn't think so.
You ought to give Benny
a break, though.
He shot Faber when he
was sneaking up on you two.
Yes, I know.
I'll tell the sheriff.
Put in a good word
for me too, huh?
Just for old times sake?
Sure.
That was very good, children.
Sister,
Brother Thaddeus is here!
Is everything all right?
Everything's just fine, Sister.
Just a little misunderstandin'.
That man--
uh, Benny--
and the woman
posing as Sister Benedict--
what happened to them?
Well, we just
dropped them off in town.
They're gonna have a few years
to repent their sins
in peace and quiet.
Well, uh, good-bye, sisters.
Willy--
Brother Thaddeus.
Good-bye, Trampas.
Oh!
[ children clamoring ]
Glad you're back!
[ theme song ]
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02x07 - Brother Thaddeus
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The series was loosely based on The Virginian: Horseman of the Plains, a 1902 Western novel by Owen Wister that Hollywood had previously adapted for movies.
The series was loosely based on The Virginian: Horseman of the Plains, a 1902 Western novel by Owen Wister that Hollywood had previously adapted for movies.