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Cooking in Yesterday's Grease (2025)

Comedy Movie Collection.
(Buddy/Dark/Black/Parody/Screwball/Slapstick/Sketch/Satire/Spoof/Mock/Comedians/etc.)

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Comedy Movie Collection.

Cooking in Yesterday's Grease (2025)

Post by bunniefuu »

(logo thumping)

(logo rattling)

(logo erupting)

(dramatic music)

I was your realist yeah baby

[Cassie] Let me see what he's up to.

Need to see his child anyway.

(kettle whistling)

I don't even call him Gabe.

Gabriel, what you doing?

Come get your child.

(kettle whistling)

Um, let me not say that

'cause. What time is it?

Oh, she gon' be mad, and I don't care.

'Cause she tried to be

with him in the first place

after he was wit' me.

(kettle whistling)

Anyway, matter fact,

I'm bout' to send him a picture.

He gon' be mad.

Stop calling and texting me

Matter fact, he bout' to

get three attachments.

To be with you, I'm

done, I had to leave

You were sneaking,

creeping and stressing me

b*tches calling and

sending me everything

Saw the DMs, you asking for pics

Gave you my heart

and you mishandled it

Now you are crying

Hmm. You wanna play?

Hey, baby daddy.

(rain and thunder) smoke detector beeping)

(grease sizzling)

(suspenseful music)

(grease sizzling)

(grease sizzling)

(grease sizzling)

(suspensful music continues)

(smoke detector beeping)

(rain and thunder continues)

(chair thump)

[Sandra] It is 2AM.

Why is your son's mother texting you?

(smoke detector beeping)

[Gabriel] Why you going

through my phone again?

Why is this chick texting you

at two o'clock in the

m*therf*cking morning?

Is what I asked you.

If you wanna know so bad,

why don't you call her.

Gabriel,

we done already had this

conversation several times

about her hitting up your

phone at these hours.

And we've had this conversation

before about you going through my phone.

You got something you need to hide?

It ain't about having

anything to hide, Sandra.

It's about your a*s

being so damn insecure!

You got a lotta sh*t you

need to be working on.

Hmm, do not tell me

what I need to work on

'cause this conversation

could get real disrespectful.

Disrespectful?

Look, I don't wanna deal

with this sh*t right now.

I'm tired.

If your baby's mother does

not start respecting the fact-

Her name has not changed.

Why do you keep f*cking defending?

- Your a*s need to grow up!

- I need to grow up? (Smoke detector beeping)

You don't respect me as a man.

Respect?

What type of respect she got for our sh*t?

I done said before,

if it's not an emergency,

all calls and text messages can wait

'til the next day.

- You think I'm f*cking her,

that's what the real issue is.

- That's the issue?

- You don't wanna f*ck me,

so I guess you figure somebody

else has to be doing it.

It's either you don't feel like f*cking me

you don't wanna f*ck me,

you're too tired when

you come home from work,

or whatever the f*ck!

(Gabriel sighing)

[Gabriel] sh*t.

Really?

You can't keep telling your man, "No".

How bout' I can no longer

see you on top of me.

Had I done what the f*ck you did to me,

you would've lost your m*therf*cking mind.

(smoke detector beeping)

You got some nerve.

You really got some nerve sitting there

with that smug-a*s look on your face.

(tense music)

We got 10 years, Gabriel, 10!

No ring,

no sign of things taking a

turn for the better, nothing.

And you still hit here and refuse

to respect what I say

and make the one thing

that I asked you about.

- Well, if it ain't working,

Why you still here?

Where am I going, Gabriel?

Tell me that.

Where am I going with

this STD that you gave me.

I'm living with this sh*t.

Walking around, going to work,

acting like everything is perfect.

Well I'm sure you got

a little work boyfriend

or something, huh?

(soft suspenseful music)

I'm gon' act like you

didn't even just say

that right now.

(smoke detector beeping)

I bring my a*s home.

And I choose to play the good woman

instead of running these

m*therf*cking streets

and spreading the gift

that keeps on giving.

The gift that yo' a*s gave me!

You forgot about that part?

Remember that sh*t!

[Sandra] m*therf*cker.

(smoke detector beeping)

(Rain and Thunder continues)

Girl, tell me you got a

minute. (Mid tempo beat)

[Shay] Yeah, what's up?

I don't think I could

do this thing right here.

I don't wanna go anymore dates with him.

What the f*ck happened now?

Girl, I am done with

all these dating apps.

(glass smashing) That's it, I'm done.

No, the problem is, you too damn picky.

Too picky? Maybe I just know my worth.

What is wrong with this one?

And where the f*ck is he at

that you have all this time

to be on the phone with me?

Well, he stepped away five minutes ago.

You sure that m*therf*cker

didn't leave you with the bill?

Girl, he went to the bathroom.

I saw him walk in there.

That m*therf*cker might

be in there taking a sh*t.

What is wrong with you?

We still didn't even get our food yet,

so he's not taking a sh*t.

And!

Wait, is this the same guy

that we were just talking

about the other day?

I'm not on a date with a chick.

b*tch is not that serious.

Ain't nobody saying that you

trying to try some new sh*t.

(record needle screeching)

(playful music) This

is Cassie's tired a*s.

She's one of my ride-or-dies.

Now the problem with Cassie is,

she's been around the way too many times.

She has a problem with not being selective

with who she gives her puss to.

And now that's what she's trying to do.

I mean we've got at her

a few times about that.

She's still my bestie but

that b*tch stay on her back.

(mid tempo beat) What in

the hell is this waiter?

Them miss a meal

cramps hitting in, right?

No. Um.

It's not that,

it's just every other word

outta this man's mouth is

about getting in the bed.

What the f*ck else you

want him to think about?

You think he gives a damn

if you could read or not?

- Word.

- That dude sees p*ssy.

Now, if you show him that

you have a little bit more

to offer than-

[Cassie] Excuse me

girl, I want him to be into

something else other than that,

not on the first date.

Alright, then, then,

switch it up on him.

f*ck him, and then let that

m*therf*cker feed you after.

Ooh, girl, if you

don't get off my phone.

You could've gave him that vibe

from the conversation

you and him were having.

The only vibe I'm giving

off is that I'm hungry.

Maybe it happened

with the conversation

you guys had earlier.

Shay, anyway.

Actually he looks younger in person.

Okay, I'm still listening

for the problem, Cassie.

What's the problem?

With that cobweb hanging

out from your p*ssy,

you better let that younger

m*therf*cker tell you something.

Young m*therf*ckers be

having some good pipe.

Girl, if you don't shut up.

Every other word outta your

mouth is about some d*ck.

I did not say d*ck. I said pipe.

P-I-P-E.

Same sh*t, that's all

you think about is d*ck.

b*tch, you really do need something

inside that newly renovated box of yours.

No, I know what I don't need.

- And what's that?

- Your advice.

- I'm just saying.

- Girl,

I don't even know why I called you, Shay.

You called me because you wanted

to hear some real sh*t mixed

with the bullshit that

you keep telling yourself.

That's why the f*ck you called me.

Bye, Shay.

(mid tempo dance music)

[Aaron] Another one of

these useless a*s dinners

sponsored by me.

(sanding machine buzzing)

[Dana] Look, my n*gga.

You there now.

Just try to ride this sh*t out.

And enjoy the rest of the date.

Dana!

Or,

or

Just take yo' a*s home and do me a favor.

Don't try to run out the back door either.

I'm, I feel like I'm

out there by myself.

I mean, give me a f*cking

conversation or something.

Listen, once it's over-

If you were me, you'd...

Once it's over, okay.

(Dana chuckles)

You never, ever, ever have

to see this woman again.

- Definitely.

- Hm.

Listen, chop this up as a loss,

like you do all of em' and keep it moving.

Easy for you to say.

This sh*t ain't cost you a dime.

Me personally, I'm never

gonna sit across from anyone

that I'm not having a good time with.

You know what's gonna be the

best thing about this date.

The appetizers.

- You know what?

Your a*s probably dragging

this sh*t out anyway,

just to see if you can hit.

She ain't talking about sh*t.

I'm trying to figure out how

to end this sh*t respectfully.

Oh, yeah, because you

still have to see her a*s

on your Instagram page, got it.

I ain't trying to hear

that sh*t right now.

Well, let me tell you something.

You're going to hear it.

I stay telling you

and Ryan that y'all need

to stop messing with

and f*cking around with

these chicks on Instagram.

Don't know about Ryan, but-

Y'all have on y'all pages.

Y'all need to just cut it out.

Who said I took shorty

out to see if I could smash?

I'm sorry, what other reason

would yo' a*s come up wit'?

Please tell me.

My n*gga, you keep forgetting I know you.

And you probably ran yo' mouth so much

that you done talk yourself

up outta some p*ssy.

I know you did.

She probably think about how she wants

to f*ck me so bad in her head right now.

You know women know when they

wanna give up some p*ssy.

And m*therf*ckers like you

help us change our minds often.

So what you saying,

a man could talk himself

outta getting some p*ssy?

(Dana chuckles)

- See,

you don't even know how to shut up.

And you not even getting no p*ssy.

Ha!

[Dana] You know what?

What she probably doing is

literally losing every ounce

of interest that she had

left in her poor little body.

Or big body, for that matter.

Because you're in the shitter.

You're taking too long.

Why else?

She's losing interest.

(record needle screeching)

(soft playful music)

That's my home girl Dana.

We use to date back in the

days few times, you know,

when she use to rock with men.

Thing is that she thinks she

knows every f*cking thing.

It's one of the main

reason why it didn't work.

But, we tight.

She don't play when it come to me.

Or Ryan.

She will f*ck something up

quick, no questions asked.

f*ck yo thoughts. f*ck yo emotions.

And f*ck your feelings.

f*ck out of my face.

f*ck is you talking about?

Ah!

Nothing, nothing.

Just practicing for some other sh*t.

Uh, yeah, back to you,

because, n*gga, you know good

and damn well you know how

to talk yourself up outta some p*ssy.

- f*ck outta here.

- There you go.

sh*t, you did the same thing to me.

Here we go again.

You only got some p*ssy

because I felt sorry for your punk a*s.

And I was mad when I got it.

And you ended up liking

p*ssy more than me.

And to this day,

my a*s also get way more

p*ssy than you do too.

If you think you get more p*ssy than me,

then you definitely need to stop smoking

that sh*t that you be smoking.

And, when your time is up,

I'm going to go back to

smoking some of that sh*t.

Bye, m*therf*cker.

Let me get back to this sh*t.

Hey!

Can you bring me some wings?

- No.

(Dana scoffs)

- Ranch, b*tch a*s n*gga.

(gentle music)

When we first started out baby

You said that you would stick by me

Now you here telling me that

Sorry about that.

Got caught up talking to my

daughter a little bit longer

than I expected.

Oh, as you can see, the

food still not here yet.

Yeah, you know, I'm surprised.

They usually a little

more quicker than this.

- Quicker?

- Yeah.

Oh, so this is the spot that

you take all your shawty's

to on the first date, huh?

So, I mean, you not even gonna ask me

if everything's okay

with me and my daughter?

- Oh.

- No?

I'm sorry.

Is everything okay with

you and your daughter?

Yeah. Yeah.

It's all good.

You hungry and you

probably ready to go, so.

It's not that. I said, I'm sorry.

Is everything okay with you and your baby?

She's 12.

And I done told you that

a few times already.

Come on, man.

Are you sure the conversation went well?

Yes.

Apparently she's hungry,

just like you are.

- Oh.

- Yeah.

- You got jokes.

- Yeah, ha ha.

Where's this waiter?

Because I'm ready to order my food

and then I'm ready to go.

I'm ready to get up outta here.

(upbeat background music)

It's like I'm falling

in love with a stranger

I don't think I'm gonna

mess with Aaron anymore.

See, you just might be

a little bit too picky.

You're always...

Girl, let's not even go

there because to be honest,

we almost didn't go out

because he was saying that

he couldn't get a sitter.

[Dionne] - Sounds like

he's responsible to me.

No, um, his baby mother

was actually acting funny,

so probably she didn't want

him to go out, I don't know.

Okay, typical sh*t.

Now the problem is,

by the time he went and

dropped the child off,

the baby mother was taking like 13 years

to come downstairs to get her.

Hold up, back it up.

So (chuckles),

homeboy got a car, ha, check.

And he either has some

kind of custody agreement

and, or spends a lot of time with the kid.

Chick these are green flags.

What's your problem?

- Girl, just and, or,

like, are you his legal aide?

You sitting here advocating

for this man Dionne, like you

know him.

And then you talk about a car like,

is the car supposed to mean-

And hold up, hold up.

But why the f*ck does

his baby mother even know

that he was going out on

a date in the first place?

That's what I'm talking about.

Like, hello.

Look, some baby moms

don't give two f*ck.

Some baby moms, like myself,

be trying to hook up their baby daddies

so he get the f*ck outta

my face, leave me alone.

No, no, no, what the problem is,

is that these men tell

their baby mothers too much.

And that's what's...

- Oh my gosh,

don't mean it's true.

Doesn't mean what's true, Dionne?

That baby mamas be hating?

No, that this baby

mom is actually hating.

Here you go with your sh*t.

You talk too much.

Look, what if he didn't

say nothing to the baby mom?

What if he just ain't

wanna take her a*s out?

What if he just looked at his bank account

that morning like, ew?

- Uh, not this week.

To be taking somebody out on a date.

But, what does that matter.

'Cause didn't you say y'all went Dutch?

Uh, going Dutch was my idea, okay.

And it was a bad f*cking idea.

I told you that already.

Bad.

Except nobody banging down your door

or ringing your phone to

take you out, Dutch or not?

b*tch, you know I can

take myself out too, right?

- Yeah.

- Ying, ying, ying ying.

Y'all need to stop.

Can y'all stop for a second?

He ended up paying for

everything, alright.

As he should.

And I hope he still didn't

get in between them legs.

(soft music)

Your my sunshine

Your my moonlight that

falls down from the sky

Your so amazing

Yeah

Your the reason I sing this song

And I can't imagine life without you

Every night I'm reaching for you

It's true

'Cause of the way you make me feel

all I do is think about you

Hello, Cassie!

Cassie!

(record needle screeching)

Cassie, Earth to Cassie.

Dionne, just because

somebody takes you out to eat,

(playful soft music)

That doesn't mean they

get to get some, okay?

- Y'all too hot.

- Well.

Y'all too hot.

Well, I do require me some large fries.

- [Cassie] Mm-hm.

- A side of mash.

[Shay] Some slaw.

And you better have my damn mild sauce.

My gosh.

Where ya' vegetables?

- Shut the f*ck up.

- That's not healthy.

Look, you trying to tell us

that at no point you thought

about f*cking this man?

Girl, no, especially

not on no first night,

no first date, no first anything.

You're not getting something

from me 'cause of that.

[Dionne] Since when?

What's wrong with you?

- [Shay] What?

- But anyway,

I could tell that he kinda

wanted to do something

but I wasn't feeling him like that, so.

Um.

b*tch, you were on your

oils, your smell goods.

I know you.

You can't tell this hoe

nothing after three dabs.

sh*t, one of them oils

turns me on, so I know.

- You a little freak.

-Yup

b*tch, the smell of chicken

frying turns your a*s on.

f*ck you.

(Dionne and Cassie laughing)

Anyway, I wanna know,

how did you know this man

wanted to f*ck you anyway.

Wait.

You told him about your nipple rings.

- Oh.

- That's what she did.

You know what.

You probably had them t*tties

all the way up and halfway out.

While he had his d*ck in

his hand and he was like,

Baby yeah Would

you, would you Yeah

What is wrong with you?

Oh.

Wait, hold up, hold up.

Did you see the man's d*ck

print through his pants?

Sweats.

(ladies laughing)

Even better.

Um.

[Cassie] Um.

So you saw this man's

throbbing d*ck print

through his sweat pants

and you knew he wanted

to rip yo' panties off

and bend that a*s all over.

(light playful music)

First, Who said I was wearing any?

[Dionne] Fresh.

So, you and him was

just out here throbbing?

(heartbeat thumping)

- But, was it,

big?

Was it...

Swole?

Wait, was it calling you?

Did it make you, moist?

Are y'all serious?

- [Shay] Yes.

- Yeah, mm-hm.

[Dionne] Nasty thing.

[Shay] She was easy.

That yeah.

(ladies laughing)

Cassie, tell me something.

(gentle music)

How much respect would you lose for a man

if he tried to sleep with a

woman after the first date?

Aaron, it depends on how much

respect I have for that man

in the first place.

And most importantly,

that man knowing how much

respect I have for myself.

(gentle music continues)

I told Dionne to send

me some movies to watch.

(playful music)

Yes, I gotta see "Time and Place".

That's a good one.

I just finished watching "The Needs".

(phone chirps)

Chile', I watch "A Piece of

Me" all the time, Dionne.

Girl, that's my movie.

You just not getting on

it, you late, Dionne.

"Time and Place", so alright,

I'ma watch it when I get oh.

Oh my stomach.

(stomach bubbling)

(phone chirps)

(phone ringing)

(excrement squelching)

(water slpashing)

(stool droppings)

(excrement squelching)

What do you want, Gabriel?

When I told you to come

see your son yesterday,

you don't want to, now you mad, I know.

That's why I kept calling

your phone after two.

I don't even want this man.

Boy, voicemail.

She sent me the voicemail again.

Cassie.

I need to talk to you.

Cassie, you gotta stop

texting me after 9PM

unless it's an emergency.

We talked about this.

Please give me a call when you can.

CP Do Me, Do Me Baby

[Ryan] Neither you or Cassie.

Thank you kindly.

Cassie's her name right?

Yeah, yeah, it's Cassie.

Yo', man, so you and Cassie,

y'all shouldn't respect each other,

especially after jumping

off on the first date.

That's in my humble opinion.

Yeah, what the f*ck

happened to you, man?

You alright?

Yeah, just that like, damn.

This dude just met me,

and he just put his tongue all up in my

My p*ssy, all up in my p*ssy.

Just had his face all up in my p*ssy.

[Aaron]- Really

And not to mention-

Don't even know me.

Who else has he done this to?

(Dana laughing)

He gots to be a serial p*ssy eater.

Hold up, that don't even

sound right coming from you.

I'm just saying son, just saying.

Yeah, I mean, sh*t,

I could say the same thing about her.

I mean, who else has she let take,

let take it down on the first night?

My n*gga, you got new

p*ssy all up in your face,

all on your mustache, all on your beard.

Please tell me you know something more

bout' shorty than just her username?

Yeah, 'cause I mean,

I'll be all up in

people's DMs and all that.

Y'all know me.

But I ain't bringing no random

m*therf*cker into my crib.

Hmm, you know, he like

to bring rando's home,

and he liked to have sh*t

slammed on his face like a

bag of ice.

[Aaron] Ah.

Never up in my crib, man.

Right

Man, the first night

or the fourth night, man.

I ain't never told either one of y'all

that I had my face up

in that woman's p*ssy.

And you didn't have to tell us.

You didn't have to tell us

that you had your face up in

this random woman's p*ssy.

You didn't have to tell us that.

Because m*therf*cker, we know you.

We know!

(uptempo reggae beat)

Come here, pretty likkle baby

Look how your skin pure and rich

Pretty bright eyes

Round nose Matty hair

Cute smile, but by

your full cherry lips

Saying tings you, twisted to the truth

So power from you copy all that you do

You look good, shape good

Steer good, ooh, you copy you

Oh, your Melanin Sweet

Pretty toned skin

That's why them girls treat

If you catch call out

Them have to run up, in a heap

We born wit' it's under on that feet

God's gift to me, my Melanin Sweet

Pretty toned skin

That's why I'm a treat

If you catch call out

Them have'e run up in a heat

Them born wit'

it's under them, that feet

God's gift to me, my Melanin Sweet

Now which is skin

kiss, watch my melanin

Not follow Tom, d*ck, the one R.R. Kim

erase it don't

m*therf*cker, we know.

And until further notice,

don't bring your a*s up here using nothing

but the plastic spoons, the plastic cups,

and the plastic fork,

alright m*therf*cker.

(everyone laughs)

- [Ryan] m*therf*cker.

- That's what we doing?

You supposed to be my man, yo'.

And you know.

Yeah, well, you, you

know the sh*t was over

before it even begin.

This sh*t was over quick. I know it was.

It was over quick, quick. I know it was.

Hold up, we, we don't know sh*t.

I ain't never been up in a room

when this man was smashing nothing.

What the f*ck you mean anything, man?

Well, I've been in the room.

Hmm, [mumbles yeah right.

And you can keep that

sh*t between you two.

See, told you not to stick

your thing-thing into this

one here.

Told you.

Man, that sh*t was over

before it even started.

This was right.

Over before it even started.

Man, listen, man.

Now I got to get closer.

You know, ain't nothing, it was nothing,

it was nothing to brag about.

I mean, 'cause it was nothing exciting

when having sex with a m*therf*cker

who just laying there anyway.

And you're m*therf*cking right.

[Aaron] - Yeah.

- Yeah.

I might have laid there.

I just wanted to know all this bullshit

that you was talking,

that you was putting out

in the atmosphere.

[Aaron] - Yeah, you know.

And it turned out to be nothing.

Zip, zilch, nada, terrible, zero.

(mumbles)

Don't talk in front of...

Don't you play wit' ne, I'm telling you

stop f*cking...

You know, I damn near k*lled you off

that second round I gave you.

You did.

Mm-hmm, right, huh?

- You did.

- See.

Told you.

- Let me tell you.

You know what?

- You see? Yeah.

I almost died. I almost died laughing.

He definitely

have my legs shaking.

- Aha, see.

You know why my legs was shaking?

'Cause this m*therf*cker don't

have no heat or hot water.

You're m*therf*cking right I was shaking.

I damn near froze to

death in that apartment

with your no headboard having a*s.

You know this n*gga

ain't got no headboard.

I didn't know which way to sleep.

Had to sleep down by the f*cking remote.

Stop playing with me.

[Ryan] That's f*cked

up. There's no headboard?

[Dana] I couldn't even get a warm rag.

f*ck you, stop f*cking playing

with me.

Look, no, you know I

ran you straight away

from this d*ck that night.

Don't you start it, okay.

(Dana clears throat)

- [Dana] You know what.

- Running man.

Oh, oh wow, oh, oh wow.

You know what. You're 100% correct.

With this little thing-thing

you had going trying

to tickle me to death,

I had no other m*therf*cking choice

but to run to some p*ssy.

[Dana] I had no other f*cking choice.

Yeah, you ran straight to toys.

Run away from your p*ssy.

- [Ryan] My n*gga.

[Aaron] - What?

- Listen to yourself.

That's even worse.

- Please-

- f*cking toys?

Don't tell this simple m*therf*cker

not a damn thing.

- I taught you better than.

You the only n*gga I know

that can piss on his ba*ls.

You're damn right I ran

to the m*therf*cking toys.

[Aaron]

- You see.

[Dana]

- He's dumb, he's just-

Hold on, I gotta ask you this sh*t,

Right.

- [Dana] Mm-hmm.

For my man here too.

You like the part about getting the D',

right?

- Yes. I do.

Big Dog (dog barks)

- I definitely do.

- Oh, oh.

Right?

She like it.

[Dana] - Yeah, absolutely.

But you hate dealing with men.

I don't hate dealing

with, I don't hate men.

I just don't want the attachment.

I don't, I, I don't want the attachment.

- The attachment?

- Right,

I don't want the attachment of the,

the emotional and disappointing bullshit

that come with dealing with men.

Now, I would tell you what

I like, what I do like.

Now you-

You like detachable dicks.

- [Dana] Wow, oh.

- Yeah.

[Ryan] Bingo

Because we clearly know

that you understand the

difference between the two, right?

You like men, you just don't wanna deal

with the emotional attachment

that comes along with the p*nis.

[Dana] - Okay.

- You see.

Because I'd never seen her stare

and get angry at her dresser drawer.

You know what?

[Aaron] - No.

I do get mad,

I get very angry when my

m*therf*cking batteries run out.

That's when I get angry,

you corny b*stard.

f*ck you, oh, stop

f*cking playing with me.

Yo' cl*t is gon' get desensitized.

You need to f*ck around and stop,

and just cut back on that a*tillery.

- [Dana] Oh wow!

- Seriously.

[Dana] Why we talking about my cl*t?

Tell her, please.

[Dana] - I'm good.

Man what are you talking about man?

Her and that p*ssy been desensitized, man.

- [Dana] Oh wow.

- Come on, man. We know that.

I mean, (Aaron chuckles)

That p*ssy might have

walls, but I assure y'all,

it ain't got enough feeling left

in that m*therf*cker left.

I'm telling you, gone!

She just be in her room, hook up.

(electricity sizzling)

[Dana] Wow.

You know what I'm saying?

Smoke everywhere.

Hell, if you see f*ck around,

she gon' electrocute herself.

You know what I'm saying.

You're right.

- And you know what?

Number one, for the

two of the both of you,

f*ck you, okay.

My p*ssy got a whole lot of feeling,

something that you m*therf*ckers

would never know anything about, trust me.

f*ck you and f*ck you.

- Wow, okay.

Oh, you would never know nothing

about them big pussies h*ifers

that you keep messing with.

Y'all better leave me alone.

Okay.

- Number two.

Actually number two.

- Huh.

- I don't want none.

Ill, that's that m*therf*cker sh*t.

[Dana]

- Here we go.

Number three.

[Dana] - Here we go.

I don't wanna f*ck

around with nothing that

needs to be charged up

except my Freebird

(hair trimmer buzzing)

On this sh*t.

- [Dana] f*ck you.

Man, at number four.

Come on, man.

Now that we know where you keep your toys

and the panties in the same location,

I know that inside of your dresser drawer

be stinking like a m*therf*cker.

- [Dana] Wow.

- [Aaron] Yeah.

Hit my theme music, man.

Stinking like a m*therf*cker

Come on.

Uh, uh, uh

- [Ryan] Join in.

Stinking like a m*therf*cker

(horn trumpeting)

(Aaron spraying)

f*ck the two of the both of you.

I got great PH balance.

I ain't worrying bout' near

one of you m*therf*ckers

in my drawer and my panties.

Yes, they are filled with toys

and pretty panties.

- [Ryan] Holy a*s.

Yo'.

(playful music)

Yeah, what's good?

Oh word.

They here right now. I'll let em' know.

Aight, one.

Oh, old coworker Toni

is having a get-together

at their crib tomorrow if

y'all ain't doing sh*t.

Uh-uh, immediately no, girl.

That sounds like a bunch of

Black people smoking hookah,

playing spades.

We could go to a bar lounge for that.

I'm not finna do that.

I've never seen nobody playing no spades

at no bar or lounge.

Shay.

Look, there may be some Black people

who are smoking hookah,

and there may also be some

people playing spades.

- It's a no.

- Okay,

is there going to be

some good-looking people

is the real question.

With they...

Yes, yes, and yes.

I can say that Toni does

know some good people.

Yeah, but some good

people wit' they side teeth?

I mean, we don't wanna meet good people.

We wanna look, we wanna meet

some good-looking people.

Good-looking people

wit' they side teeth.

[Shay] Yeah, mm-hmm,

[Cassie] think we need those three.

I think I don't need to be

inviting you hoes nowhere.

f*cking side teeth,

look, don't be showing up

and showing your asses,

and embarrassing me.

Oh, you wanna talk about

showing a*s and embarrass...

Showing a*s, showing a*s and embarrassing.

[Dionne] Yeah.

Let, she, miss, ma'am,

you must've forgot about the

time when you disappeared.

Oh yeah.

And you left me and Shay

in the club by our self.

Talk about it.

Oh, what, what had happened was...

Nah, f*ck that.

How do you even know it was me?

b*tch, that was your car.

Again, I asked how

you know it was even me?

My car could have been stolen

that night.

- b*tch we knew it was you.

We saw the hair on the

bottom of your feet.

[Cassie] Ha, ha.

It was you.

- Ha, ha

Girl, hah, oop.

You know what?

That's a, that's a dirty damn lie.

Um, you know what?

That, that might have been the old me,

but the new me, would never.

Never what?

Shave them shits under your feet?

Um-mm.

Look you gon' stop

spreading your damn rumors.

[Cassie] Girl, you ain't that new.

You know what?

You b*tches just need to figure

out the f*ck you're gon'

wear to Toni's thing.

But now with that, leave me alone.

- Okay.

- Shave them feet.

- You gotta razor in here.

- Bye.

Okay.

Morning sh*t

(echo reverberating)

What's this?

"Hey, big head."

Hey big head, my a*s.

Let me see if her a*s could

pick up the phone though.

(phone ringing)

[Renee] g*dd*mn, (phone

ringing) job calling me on my

day off.

(phone ringing)

(phone ringing)

The f*ck they want?

(phone ringing)

I bet you laying right

next to that n*gga.

(phone ringing)

Good morning, this is Renee.

(Aaron laughing)

Good morning, good morning, Renee.

Are you available for work today?

You know today is my day off, right?

Why would you answer the phone

if you're not available to work today?

I am entitled to a day off.

(Aaron scoffing)

Are you preoccupied?

(Boing Yoing)

I know I'm still on probation, but...

Give me one sec.

I think we need to look

into maybe finding you a new replacement.

I need this job.

[Donte] They about to let you go?

- Later.

- I could come in.

(Aaron scoffing)

Hello.

(phone humming)

Oh, they about to let you go.

- Hello.

- That's crazy.

Well, f*ck him.

You are not a real n*gga

You outta place

The club is hot

Club is hot

Sweat everywhere

Sweat everywhere

You're dripping wet

Dripping wet

But you don't care

Let's take this daze

To somewhere else

Somewhere else

Where you and me can express ourselves

Girl, take my hand

Take my hand

And hold me tight

Hold me tight

I wanna groove

Wanna groove

All through the night

by candlelight

Yo'.

- [Toni] Yo'

- Yo', listen,

your thing still happening?

Yeah, come on, man. You already know.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, me and my lady pulling up.

You and yours?

You sure you wanna do that?

Yo', listen, I'm kind of in

the middle of somethin', man.

- Son.

- Alright,

let me, let me,

let me hit you back a little later.

Tay', man, come on.

You f*cking up my sh*t already.

I already told the girls

that was coming that...

That sound like you

f*cked your own sh*t up.

Don't put that off on me.

But listen, I'm gonna

see you at some point.

Love-a*s n*gga, damn!

Stay Black, darkness.

[Christopher] Yo'! (Playful music)

Yo'!,

sides that bread I hit you about.

I need you to also bring some

of your product with you too.

I could push my sh*t on

your peoples at your crib?

- Hell yeah.

- f*ck yeah, I can do that.

I'll bring enough for everybody.

Yo', be honest.

I'm on some different sh*t.

You are always doing

something different sh*t

if you ask me.

You know, you're a real piece of-

Hey, Tom Willis,

Ima' need you to leave your

other-other at home though.

Bye, fool.

(playful music continues)

(phone ringing)

Yo', how we looking, my n*gga?

Yeah, about to get out

the door in a minute.

Sweet. Yo', listen.

Tell 'em they need to come

through wit' at least, like,

two bands in they pockets.

- Two bands?

- Yeah, two bands.

The f*ck, we having a dice game

or you need to hold something?

Tell the f*cking truth, man.

Nah, nope.

I'm on some other sh*t, to be honest.

Some new sh*t if you wanna be actual.

Alright, well,

let me get my sh*t so I

can get up outta here.

Aight, then so don't let me hold you.

Don't let me hold you.

Yeah, if you get off the

f*cking phone, I can get dressed.

Yo', aight, whatever.

Yo' do your thing, my n*gga.

(kompa music)

Oh ka fem sa w vle

Trete m mwen jan w vle

Pale avem jan ou vle

I don't even know what

I'm gonna wear tonight.

I mean, I can always use something new.

And I gotta get my hair done.

(phone ringing)

(phone ringing)

Hello, this is Shay.

(loud hip hop beat)

[Neighbor] Yo, where the

f*ck you at with my food at,

Just Shay?

Calm down.

The f*ck do you mean calm down.

Where my f*cking food at, man?

People order food 'cause

they f*cking hungry.

Yo', I literally just

picked up the food.

How soon do you think I'm gonna get there?

Well, the app said you

picked it up two minutes ago.

So where the f*ck is it at?

Where, where, where's it at?

Just Shay my a*s.

Calm the f*ck down!

Ayo', who the f*ck you

think you're talking to,

Just Shay?

Oh, I'm talking to this m*therf*cker

that just called my f*cking

phone talking about,

"Where the f*ck is my food?"

And like I said, it's just Shay.

(needle screeching)

Oh, he got the right m*therf*cker today.

Hmm, b*tch, I know you

hear my stomach grumbling,

and I know you're here scratching my back.

And you definitely

not getting this sh*t.

f*ck your stomach. f*ck your back.

And what you can do is

scratch this f*cking delivery.

Let me see that bullshit you ordered.

Ah, ah!

(bag scrunching)

And didn't even seal it, mm.

(growling)

This m*therf*cker, he's gon' learn today.

(car engine revving)

(tires screeching)

(car horn honks)

Oh, that you?

Yo', that you honking?

m*therf*cker, here's your f*cking wings.

And watch them fly, b*tch.

(food squelching)

Peace!

(tires screeching)

[Ms. Fancy Nancy] Oh

sh*t, I guess he ordered the

ground beef.

Damn, the chatter cause

the sh*t don't matter.

Just dropped my sh*t on

the f*cking floor, man.

That's alright, Ima' track her down.

I got f*cking track app. I got it.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yep.

That's f*cked up, neighbor.

Yup, the sh*t ain't over.

I know you still not gon' eat that sh*t.

You know what? That's real funny.

'Cause I be saying the exact same thing

when you bring your ugly-a*s m*therf*ckers

into your apartment.

Oh, like I know she gonna

eat that ugly-a*s thing

that just walked up in there.

I know she ain't gon' do that.

Look here, you punk m*therf*cker,

any meal that I ever bring

into my place is well-prepared.

I don't just go eating sh*t

off the ground like you do.

The f*ck!

Oh yeah, yeah, that's the

last one you had, right.

Like the last one, right.

Oh she was a big one though.

Yo', but I know you used

the jackhammer vibrator

on that one right, like,

uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh.

f*ck you! You f*cking creep.

Creepy-a*s n*gga.

You know what.

You have a great f*cking

day, f*cking fool.

Yo', I'm tired of

hearing that sh*t though.

And you know, you know,

you need to let me hit that though, right.

(neighbor laughs) Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha

f*ck you.

You raggedy a*s n*gga.

- Skeet, skeet, skeet.

You nasty, I hope you die, you b*stard.

Roll like you got some sense

(phone ringing)

Or they gon' catch us

slipping sooner or later

Yo'.

Yo', you know this nasty-a*s

n*gga said some crazy sh*t

to me.

Who?

[Dana] The f*cking creepy-a*s

neighbor I told y'all about.

Oh yeah.

(Aaron laughs)

That's funny.

Hey, yo', that's not funny, Aaron.

For real, that sh*t not funny.

n*gga creepy.

Yo', you right. You know what?

That sh*t is f*cking hilarious.

[Aaron] Yo', that man

don't pose no threat.

All he wants from you

is to hear you moan a

little bit louder.

He probably got a permanent crook

in his neck from listening.

You know what, that

m*therf*cker definitely does.

He definitely have that crook.

Yo', with that crook,

might come in handy though,

especially for the p*ssy.

You might wanna look into that.

Uh-uh, you know,

you sounded just like that

nasty, creepy m*therf*cker.

You're getting on my

f*cking nerves right now.

So I can't.

Look, you always said

that you wanted someone

that could listen, right?

Well, there you go.

(Aaron chuckles)

You know what, that's

some nasty creepy sh*t.

You f*cked up for that A'.

You are, definitely are.

Aight, well I got some sh*t

that I need to take care

of right now anyway,

but I see you at Ryan's.

Aight, let me go on and

put on my damn lipstick, one.

[Sean] Yo'.

[Chrissy] Sean. Can you and

Toni bring some paper towels?

Aight, cool, cool.

Nah we can pick some up.

- I ain't saying no names,

but Yvette spilled some sh*t.

And we used all the paper

towels to get it up.

Listen, we gotta make one more stop,

and I'll pick 'em up.

Alright.

Yeah, I'm waiting for

Toni to come out this store.

I think the n*gga waiting to, you know,

buy a new dildo or something, man.

They was talking about

they need the new sh*t

that got, like, the real-life veins in it,

like blood really running

through the d*ck, you know.

Yeah, I don't know.

But soon as we finish with

this freak, nasty-sh*t Toni on,

we gon' get the paper towels.

Toni probably gonna need

some to wipe some sh*t up.

I, I just got a feeling

after they get this new life-size dildo.

Pause.

(Sean sighing)

(gentle piano music)

Sacrifice? Sacrifice?

[Kim] You know I'm getting very tired

of you always throwing

this sh*t up in my face!

Ain't nobody throwing

sh*t in your face, Kim.

- Yeah.

- I'm trying to tell you

how I feel.

- Mm, yeah, okay.

Every time we have a

disagreement, here you go, always.

Look how you got me looking out here.

How I got you looking out here, Sean?

- Listen, [Kim] Really?

- I busted my a*s

to put you through school.

I put all sh*t my aside

to put you through school

and bust my a*s to make sure that you

and the kids were good, man!

And you act like that sh*t

wasn't your responsibility.

You get your f*cking degree.

Okay.

You get the salary you want.

What the f*ck do I get?

Oh, so we back to you having an issue.

We ain't back on sh*t.

Oh yeah, you know what your issue is?

You have an issue with me

making more money than you.

That's the problem.

- What?

- You heard me.

- Kim, seriously?

- Yeah, yeah, seriously.

The f*ck you standing up for?

What the f*ck you standing up for?

- Yeah, alright.

- You know what?

The issue is you are so caught up

in what the f*ck your damn friends think

that you can't even see straight.

You can't!

- See, see.

You think you're so f*cking smart.

Yeah, yeah.

That's where your wrong.

Your wrong, Kim!

I told you, - You're wrong.

I would stay home from work.

And I would come hang out with you all,

spend time, what else?

You're missing my f*cking point.

What?

The world don't see no

f*cking hardworking man

when it looks at me.

- f*ck that.

I don't care about the world.

The world don't see a man

that does everything he can

to make sure his woman-

- But I do.

- Is the best she could be

when she goes out here, man!

That doesn't matter.

f*ck what the world thinks.

I don't care what they see.

I do.

(Sean chuckles)

- I don't have sh*t to show.

[Kim] Oh God.

For all the sacrifices I've made,

all the hard work I've done.

Look in our f*cking closet!

All the clothes in our closet.

You got all like Gucci,

Louis Vuitton, Prada.

sh*t, what the f*ck I got?

- Bae, we got.

- What do I have?

You get whatever you want.

We, we, wait, do you even remember?

Do you remember what the

f*ck I used to drive, Kim?

And we can get it back, bae.

We have a family, we have two,

two incomes coming

through that g*dd*mn door.

Yeah, I know.

Come on, bae, there's too

much going on in this world.

We can't be battling one another.

We cannot afford to be in

competition with one another.

Sean, we can't afford that.

- You really know.

- We can't.

You really wanna know

what the problem is, Kim?

You pay zero attention to

what it is that hurts me,

man, zero attention.

- I can't.

You know what.

I don't know what else to do.

I don't know what to do to

show you I want us forever.

I appreciate you. I appreciate you, bae.

And I've told you on several occasions

we can go to counseling.

The f*ck I wanna go

to counseling for Kim?

- So we can fix this.

- For what?

So you can sit there

and another f*cking rich

white man can sit there

and judge me, tell me what I'm not doing.

Listen, we need an

unbiased - Judge me. - Opinion

- f*ck that.

I ain't doing no f*cking counseling.

I know what the problem is

and you know what the

problem is, so f*ck that.

So you can look like the

good person in all this,

I'm the f*cking villain, right?

f*ck that.

- I don't know.

I just don't know.

[Yvette] All I'm saying is

you cannot shake a wh*re tree

and expect an angel to fall out of it.

- Yvette.

- What?

We love who we love

and we like who we like.

And your a*s obviously love

wasting your g*dd*mn time,

"liking who you like."

I know what works for me

and I know what doesn't.

It's always something

with your judgmental a*s.

Because you always making bad choices-

Can you for once, please.

So, you see why people

stay giving up on you, right?

[Lisa] You haven't even asked me why.

- Why?

- Why?

What I need to be asking myself is,

why did I go out my way

to get your a*s that job.

- Sis.

- Don't sis me right now.

At some point, Lisa, you

have to f*cking grow up.

So you don't see me

trying at all, right?

No, the f*ck I don't.

You called me saying you

lost your job, again.

I make a few calls and then-

So you wanna see me out

here with no g*dd*mn job,

huh?

- No.

You getting a kick outta

people running to you

for help, don't you?

- [Yvette] Mm-mm, mm-mm.

Just so you can remind them

of the time they needed you

the first chance you get.

What I want is for you

to get your life on track

and actually do something with yourself.

You talk like you always

had your sh*t together.

You're a piece of f*cking work.

I never said or...

Well, you damn sure act like it.

You act like you never hit a

rough patch in your damn life.

How many got damn patches you gonna hit?

You talk down on everyone,

like you always had this,

life, sh*t figured out.

Nah, little lady,

What it is, is that I don't make excuses.

I'm not the one walking

around holding on to sh*t

to keep me from moving forward.

So we throwing sh*t in

people's face again.

A dead man.

[Yvette] f*cking dead man.

You picking at a wound that

ain't even grown a scab yet.

Lisa,

Marvin has been gone

three to four years now.

You need to mentally move on.

You f*cking up now.

You really, really, really f*cking up.

That man had his time in your life

and God needed him more.

I am tired of you and

every damn man telling me

that I need to let Marvin go.

Well, we are here. He is in my heart!

Aren't we?

- And I will never ever-

You cannot compare a man

who's trying to win over your heart

to a man who can no longer

physically touch you, Lisa!

(Yvette sighing)

Yo' a*s should've been a damn cop.

Y'all chase the same g*dd*mn people.

- I'm damaged, sis.

- I know.

I need to be loved differently.

(scene thudding)

Stop worrying about my yesterday

enjoy me in my today.

- Well, anyway,

these f*cking wine

glasses you made are fire.

[Chrissy] Thank you, thank you.

Do you mind if I put one

or two to the side for myself?

You sure can.

And I'ma need you to put

a twenty to the side.

For glass, you put to the side too.

I got you.

But not one time did you

hear me say I wanted anything

for free.

- True.

Either, you gonna be

with me or you not

But you're not gonna

waste my time anymore

I gave you all of me

Now I have nothing left

You wanted air to

breathe - Lemme see

I tried to hold my breath

But you don't see in

me, you put me to the

test

What this n*gga's doing.

If he wanna get up.

I never needed you 'cause I got my own

What you won't do for me

Oh, you wanna be on IG all day.

You on here liking pictures.

Let me check his stories,

see if he posted something in his story.

Didn't have to waste

my time like you did

Oh.

Look at that, out here styling on him.

Look at all his deliciousness.

You already know baby, huh?

Yeah, I work all day, uh-huh, yeah.

Oh, so he outside.

Let me see if he wanna link up.

See if he's free tonight.

And I put up with all

your sh*t for nothing

Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing

Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing

Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing

Oh, so you're just gon' to read my sh*t

and not say nothing.

Oh, he's dead a*s, heard you.

(gentle music)

(phone ringing)

Yeah.

How long before your a*s is ready?

I still have to wash my a*s, girl.

The f*ck?

Oh, you still ain't wash your a*s.

Yo', I'ma be in there in 20, 30 minutes.

Make sure your a*s is ready.

Make it 40.

The f*ck you gotta power wash your a*s?

I said 30 minutes!

How you getting in?

Ooh, look, just throw

the rag over your shoulder

and let the water drip

down like you usually do.

(Dionne chuckles)

Okay, b*tch, see you in 40.

- Hey!

- What?

Look, seriously, just

pick up your t*tties,

you know, one at a time and

just really scrub under there

'cause you know sometimes-

Later.

Oop, b*tch hung up on me.

Uh, get it, baby, ah, oh, ah, huh

(playful music)

[Desiree] Y'all stop

What y'all doing? Uh, uh.

Come help me with this sh*t, please.

(girls chattering)

I got it her with this one.

I don't need you with this m*therf*cker.

Get ya' own f*cking box.

So I tell the b*tch,

"Stop asking m*therf*ckers

about they skincare products.

And wash your g*dd*mn pillowcases."

Oh yeah, that's what you told her?

That's some f*cked-up sh*t, you know?

Y'all, y'all young people ain't

got no m*therf*cking filter.

You know what I'm saying?

Y'all, y'all scared tell

people to tell people

the truth.

No, that's some bullshit.

That's, well, that's some weak-a*s-

Come on. Anyway, this is getting heavy.

- Yvette.

- What?

- Yvette.

- What?

Tell me you got the key.

- The key to what?

- The key to the apartment!

- I don't live here.

- You know what.

Chrissy.

Ah, you ain't give me no key, so nah.

The key was on the table

next to y'all phones.

Well, that means they're

still in there, duh!

Well, we don't need 'em

to still be in there, duh.

We need them to get

into the damn apartment.

- I ain't got it.

- Mine's there too.

I figured we ain't need it.

I was just coming outside real quick.

Thank you.

Any other m*therf*cking

time y'all got y'all phone,

Instagramming, Face a booking, Tika-Toka,

Toka-Ticking.

Now we need a m*therf*cking phone,

ain't nobody got a f*cking phone.

Now, I might not be the

hardest egg in the carton,

but if you saw my phone on the table,

why didn't you just grab it, Desiree?

Tell me that.

She kind of right.

Don't co-sign this

b*tch with this dumb sh*t.

Don't you co-sign this dumb sh*t.

We're just fattening the frog to feed

the snake.

- Got no keys, no nothing.

- This is why I drink.

Oh, Sis you don't

need no reason to drink.

No, no, no, no, I'm

not the problem here.

I'm not the problem here.

You don't need no...

The problem is we ain't

got no m*therf*cking key

to get in the f*cking key apartment?

That's the problem.

And we got all this sh*t in front...

What the f*ck is this she doing?

What is your friend doing?

- What the f*ck

could you possibly be

looking for on the ground?

Anybody got any plastic,

bendable plastic or

plastic strips on them?

Who the f*ck walks around

with plastic strips on them?

And what the hell you

gonna do wit' it anyway

stupid?

Well if I had a plastic card

I could shimmy the lock.

Shimmy the lock.

Get us in there.

Get us in there.

Then one of us could grab

our phone and call Toni.

Did this b*tch say shimmy the lock?

Yes.

She think she McGyver.

This b*tch think...

(all chattering)

[Chrissy] Shut up, shut

up, it's fine, shut up.

[Desiree] f*ck going on,

talm' bout shimmy the lock.

Yo', (R&B mid tempo beat)

I am not feeling this Toni.

- Right.

Like why the f*ck do we even

need to have a certain amount

of money to go to somebody's

function inside their house?

Yo', I was about five minutes away

from keeping my a*s home.

Look, let's just get there.

Know your salty a*s gon' have a good time

and then you can drop our asses back home.

- [Shay] We shall see.

- You know what, sh*t,

you really not feeling it.

Let's just stay for a little

bit and then we can just leave

'cause you know I got no problem-

abandoning a f*cking spot early.

- Girl we know.

- Ya' a*s gotta wait on me.

And then what if we get there

and Toni's on some sh*t like,

"Let me see the money before

y'all come in type sh*t"

I'm telling you right now Dionne,

I don't got time for that.

This is your last time.

My last time what?

[Shay and Cassie] Inviting

us to some bullshit.

You know what.

Toni don't move like that, okay.

Besides, I said, I got y'all.

Cassie, stop sending me the voicemail.

sh*t, I need to talk to you.

Gimme a call right away, sh*t.

And ma'am how many times you gon'

keep sending messages

without getting a reply.

First of all it's

not about you having us

'cause we got our own money.

And secondly, why you

always in my damn phone.

You are so nosy, sit back.

You vouching for this Toni.

Like how many times have I told you not

to be sure of nobody.

Toni make plenty of

money running that shelter.

Ain't worried about

your little funky $200.

Oh I hope you're right

because y'all know I can go

off on Toni at Toni's spot.

[Dionne and Cassie] Yeah we know.

So I'm betting on you tonight

[soft music]

Excuse me Ms. Cynthia,

I asked you upstairs can I

speak to you before you left.

[Cynthia] I looked for you at the

nurse's station.

Have you changed your mind?

Look I told you and the other doctors

that I will unsign that DNR for my father.

And if your father flat lines

is a possibility that-

He'll die.

If you could resuscitate

him and give him life

so that he could live.

Maybe this world is a

better place without him.

He has hurt more people than I can count.

He has hurt me in many more ways

than I can describe.

I don't know that man you describing.

I never met or taken care of the man

who done these things to you.

Look, just because he gave

you guys a few bedside stories.

Buttered y'all asses up doesn't

make him a great father.

Yes, he told me he wasn't

the greatest of Dad's

and he told me he wasn't

there for your mother

when she needed him most.

He was there for her, alright?

She died because of the drugs

that he supplied to her.

I'm sorry to hear that.

He expressed that to me as well.

This your third visit in 11 months.

Three too many,

and he is long-

Just for retract,

your do not resuscitate signature please

and give yourself and him a

much needed second chance.

- Much needed.

- Miss Cynthia,

I'm not trying to take anything from you.

The second chapter of your life

could be something special.

Just imagine no other relationship

with any other man'll go right

because you didn't fix

this one right here.

You gotta see this new b*tch.

My neighbor f*cking with now.

- a*s for days?

- Nah,

she got a*s for weeks

Man,

if it's anything like

the last joint he had?

Nah, nah, nah, it's

crazier than that one.

What?

'Cause that last b*tch,

if you told her to haul

a*s then she would've had

to make two trips.

- No lies detected.

But yo'.

I think this new b*tch

he f*cking with got a man

or something.

What she be coming through

without her spending a

night bag or something?

Damn near never, b*tch

be parking a block away,

looking over her shoulder and sh*t.

And she always wearing like a new type

of "Set it Off" wig or something.

Oh them rob a bank joints.

I need that money.

Every time.

Well maybe the b*tch got

warrants or something man.

You know what?

You might be onto something.

I never thought about that.

Yo', he stay f*cking

other n*gg*s b*tches man.

Listen as long as they keep

the drama away from my door,

f*ck on n*gga.

You never do dirt

or sh*t where you gotta lay your head man.

Yo', like a month ago,

some n*gga came banging on

my door, all loud and sh*t.

Looking for his b*tch.

All loud,

so you know I had to come

to the door with the strap.

Wait, hold on.

You had the strap on

or you had the strap-strap.

The strap-strap. Bang-bang.

n*gga, you saying

bang-bang does not help me

distinguish between the two straps.

Like you had the strap like bang

or the strap like

bang-bang, n*gga which one?

- Bang, bang my g*n, n*gga.

- Aight good, good,

Because I ain't trying to hear

about you getting sh*t popped

off wearing the strap-strap.

Man, f*ck all that.

There's new thing-thing

he be f*cking wit' though.

She be looking at me like,

b*tch you ain't got no d*ck.

You wouldn't know what to do with this.

Yo'.

Stay away from that b*tch.

'Cause you don't f*ck around

and have another visitor at your door.

I don't even care.

Shawty really wanna see a n*gga.

- Chick is that?

- Cassie.

You remember the one I

went to the dinner wit'?

Oh.

She trying to see what I'm doing later.

Invite her to the, to

to, to the shing-ding.

Hell no, man.

I'm not inviting her to Toni's sh*t

- Yo'.

- I don't understand.

- No.

- She might be trying

to tap something kid.

-And with.

This p*ssy drought you're

currently on, you might want to.

Yeah, you may wanna see her playboy.

- Who gives a damn man.

- Hold up, hold up.

Yo'

What?

What?

Think you giving it up too soon?

Huh

Get...

Oh you so wholesome.

Did you say hoe some or wholesome?

'Cause it's two different things with this

n*gga here.

- That m*therf*cker is boffum.

-Who gives a damn?

Look, I just don't want

a see shawty tonight.

Okay.

Besides Toni might have some joints up

in there that your boy

might need to holla at,

a player.

You already know how I do.

-Stop that.

- What?

- Because you know,

p*ssy drought. That

m*therf*cker is on a

p*ssy drought,

p*ssy drought

p*ssy drought

I'm texting her right now

that I have my daughter tonight.

Dummy, dummy, dummy, dummy.

Stupid, dummy face.

Why?

Why would you tell her that?

You see, this the lies that stop you

from getting any p*ssy.

You ain't never gon' get no p*ssy.

- No.

- Never.

p*ssy don't be getting him.

What are you doing?

m*therf*cker strategically,

knows how to enable himself

to f*cking dodge the punani.

And you do it so effortlessly.

Who side are you? You know what?

(record needle screeching)

You see what I'm saying?

This is the bullshit

that I have to go through

on a consistent basis.

I'm trying to respect the p*ssy

and respect my body as well.

But these m*therf*ckers back here,

they won't let me be great.

I be back.

You know what, f*ck both of y'all.

Alright.

Because I gets p*ssy, okay.

I just don't wanna see shawty tonight.

p*ssy drought

You gotta keep doing

the dance though man.

You ain't gotta keep doing that joint.

Can we go?

- Can we go?

- You tight.

This n*gga tight -I'm

not mad. I'm not fuh..

Tighter than pigeon punnani.

This n*gga tight.

p*ssy drought

Back here dancing.

m*therf*cker.

[Aaron] Come on.

p*ssy drought

- Hey, hey.

- Yo'.

What it do? What it do? What it do?

Gabriel my dude.

Glad to see you could make it.

You thought I was going miss this?

sh*t my a*s call out work to be here.

Better off doing a head count here

than behind that wall any day.

Any day.

Always good to see you family.

You know I love making my money

but any night away from

that tier is a good thing.

Anyway, I brought beans and

rice, I got brought licks.

Let me go mingle and I'll

circle back to y'all.

Alright. Don't hurt nobody Gabe.

Everybody thank you for coming.

Sorry I couldn't be here to

greet you all when you came.

- [Chrissy] Well, you here now.

- Yeah.

And what did you spill

that you had to use two rolls of Bounty?

[Nate] Thanks for having us, seriously.

- You got my text?

- Yeah. Oh.

You know the last thing

on my mind be that phone.

Yo', yo', Toni! [Stomach growls]

Yo' Toni, lemme' get yo'

Cousin ', talk to you

talk to you, when you get a second.

Be right with you cuzzo.

Oh look, I got some candles.

I always keep my candles with me.

I could go into the car, go

get some, bring 'em back.

- Go do that.

- Bet, I'm on it.

Yo'. Yo'.

I think your boy Christopher

and his girl Yvette is in their f*cking.

- Let 'em rock.

- What you mean let 'em rock?

Listen,

as long as nobody don't wipe

sh*t on my decorator towels.

We all good.

- Man, come on. What about me?

Ill. What you mean?

What about you?

You better not be trying to

f*ck nobody in here, Dez'.

No, m*therf*cker. (Stomach growls)

I need to take a sh*t.

Yo' hold tight.

Kinda' type freaky

sh*t, you got going on in

this m*therf*cker.

[squeaking]

The f*ck is that thumping noise.

Christopher and Yvette.

These m*therf*ckers.

Yo', how many of them

glasses did you bring with you?

Two dozen.

Cool.

'Cause we gonna definitely put some joints

after I introduce my sh*t.

- Hey y'all.

- Hey, hey, hey.

- Y'all heard us?

- Ill, yeah.

We heard y'all too.

Christopher was just a cracking my back.

Yeah, that's what we was just thinking.

He was in there cracking your back.

Anybody else need their back cracked?

[Gabriel And Sean] No.

Oh, I bought some macaroni

and some tossed salad.

If y'all want, I can help serve the food.

We don't need you touching nothing

with them nasty a*s b*ll s*ck fingers.

Stop playing. I could wear gloves.

You can wear gloves.

Wear mask, wear out a

m*therf*cking welcome.

We are good than a m*therf*cker.

sh*t, Cuz we be better,

you throw that sh*t the f*ck out.

You try the tossed salad.

Yo', let me make this sh*t clear.

From this moment forth,

we don't be no trying or

tossing no g*dd*mn salads

in this m*therf*cking tonight.

Aight?

- You might wanna say it again

and you might wanna say

that sh*t in French,

Italian and Ranch.

I like spreading ranch on my salad.

- Good evening.

- Good evening.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Hey, come in.

Have a seat.

We just having a quick discussion

and we can use some fresh...

What I was saying was,

if a person lies about simple sh*t,

they'll lie about any and everything.

And like I was saying, I agree with you.

It doesn't matter the size

of a lie, it's still a lie.

Aaron, this is right up your alley son.

Yeah, you think this so...

(Aaron imitates laughing)

And on that note,

I'm gonna go over here and holler at Toni.

Well, in my past

relationships I've been lied to

and I could never look at those

individuals the same again

until I met him.

Sweetheart, what's, what's your name?

Yvette.

My name is Dana and this

here is my boy, Aaron,

How you doing, Aaron?

Hi, how you doing, Yvette?

Christopher.

Yvette, I would like

to ask you a question,

but it's a pleasure to meet

you all before I do so,

I would love to get everyone's name.

- Gabriel.

- Nate.

Fellas. Fellas.

Now I would like to

ask Yvette a question.

Sure.

Were you in these relationships

when you were lied to?

It was three separate situations

or should I say relationships.

And in this one relationship I decided

to work things out even

after I was lied to.

So you was lied to and

cheated on or lied to?

(Yvette sighs)

- Aaron,

I was lied to about being cheated on.

So yeah.

But she's still mingling with me.

But only on days that end with a Y.

I know that's right.

(Christopher laughs)

Oh, and it hurt me to the

core that I loved this man.

I trusted this man.

This man knew how to make

me feel like the queen

of his world and he still lied.

Did you catch this man cheating on you?

Nate, no, actually I didn't.

He just started moving differently.

I mean, everything he

did, everything he said,

he was just moving in ways that

would just raise questions.

Was this something that,

was in you that had you thinking that?

No, when I feel appreciated,

that sh*t make me wanna

go hard for my man.

If your my man.

Huh.

That's what I'm supposed to do.

Appreciation goes both ways.

That's true. That part.

I felt that, I put my all into it.

Huh.

I put my all plus more.

Yeah.

I was in a, I was in a similar situation.

Um.

I felt like I gave my all, you know,

and whatever I did,

it just didn't seem like it was enough.

We both cooked.

I also cleaned.

I stepped my communication game up.

I thought I was giving my

best to please her sexually.

- So?

- The lady said,

"I worked too much."

- What?

You see what I'm saying?

Chicks like that deserve a bum.

B-U-M. Bum.

Bum ba ba bum bum

Yeah man, this sh*t jaded

like a m*therf*cker, you know.

Um.

Now, I'm co-parenting with the person

that I'm trying to heal from.

This sh*t ain't talked

about enough you know.

Um.

That's a heavy pill, my brother.

Man, my lady be waking up

from dreams like I cheated on her, right.

And then going on and on.

Like that just has to be true.

You see that's why when

I get a feeling in my gut,

I'm always trusting it, all the time.

- It could be gas too. [Fart]

- Yeah.

But having a feeling in

your gut and dreaming

about something seems

like two different things.

Well, not necessarily.

They could be one and the same.

Two things could be true.

And this is why I don't need no man.

It's easy to say you don't need a man

when you haven't

experienced a man you need.

Mm.

That part preach brother.

Preach, Deacon, preach.

But I mean, sometimes

someone could love you

with everything they have,

but to you it will never be enough,

to you.

Now we bring in maturity.

(farting) Some people just get older.

Some people grow up and

some people just get older.

To be honest with you.

Big difference between the two.

Right.

But we still have to be

mature enough to understand

that the person in front

of you is loving you

with everything they have.

Um.

Dana, so I could be asking

for too much from a person

when I'm totally incapable of giving

when I'm asking to receive.

Now where the f*ck did that come from?

Stop talking with this stupid sh*t.

Don't embarrass me.

Stupid a*s.

I was sharing with the group,

I'm sharing with the group.

Oh, that's something in

you that you need to address.

It is never a good thing

to want love from someone

and, and never get it back.

Right?

We all are looking for some kind of love.

Nobody wants to be hurt.

Wait, wait. Can you gimme a second?

[Natasha] Look ma look, I'm, I'm,

I'm good with where our

relationship is right now.

So please just, just let me go.

How long are you gonna

hold my past against me?

No, you, you keep taking

me back to your past.

You hurt me first.

You hurt me time after time, after time.

Again see the only thing

that you did very well

was disappoint your only child.

- Natasha.

- You a grown a*s woman

and you still-

And I still live with the traumas

that you introduced to me every day.

Yes. I f*cked up, okay.

Yes, I f*cked up and I did drugs

and I lost every g*dd*mn

thing I ever loved.

And I may have had you in some

places I shouldn't have baby.

I get it.

Around some of the

worst people, I'm sorry.

But the one thing I didn't,

the one thing I never did is I

never let the system take you

from me.

See look, it's always about you.

When are you gonna start

taking accountability?

That's what I'm trying to do now.

You won't let me in.

- So just,

I'm supposed to just

wipe away all the hurt,

all the pain, all the tears?

Just wipe it away like that, huh?

How many g*dd*mn times can I apologize?

I've been cleaned for 20 years.

I haven't did no hard drugs

and the only jail I've been

in for the last 18, is yours.

So just, let me let you in at my pace.

- Baby tomorrow-

- At my speed!

Baby, tomorrow's not promised to nobody.

I am hurt and I gotta protect my peace.

I worked to hard for this peace.

I just wanna see my grandkids.

Okay.

You not invited to my place

and you damn sure ain't about to be

around my kids by yourself.

Alright, well f*ck it then.

Just bring em' to the park.

I don't need nothing from your apartment.

Look at you.

There you go.

You see, you have no idea.

You have no idea

how embarrassed I was in high school.

My friends, they telling me they see you,

walking up and down the

damn street, selling sh*t.

Who the hell sell a bike

with no front tire or

handle bars?

Well I sold a lot of

separately back then.

Okay. sh*t.

Oh my god. (Natasha laughs)

Ma, remember,

remember that time when

I found all of those...

What was it?

- The hot water knobs.

- [Natasha] The hot water knobs.

Yes girl.

sh**t, but there you go.

Throwing stuff back in my face.

Look, one thing I am proud of,

at least I ain't steal none

of your hot water knob.

But tell me why would you

go in these people house

and only take the damn water knobs?

Girl, sh*t, back then, hot

water knobs was a hot commodity

'cause nobody wanna

take a cold a*s shower.

sh*t, Ma you crazy.

I made a lot of money

from them damn knobs.

Oh, hey Dionne.

Hey Yvette, this is Cassie.

This is Shay.

- Hi Cassie.

(playful music)

f*ck.

Oh sh*t.

What happened?

That's shawty from the date.

Y'all come on inside and have a seat.

Toni ran downstairs to the basement.

She'll be up in a minute.

We just in here talking it up.

Yo', isn't that old boy that you...

Girl, yes.

But I thought you said that he was-

Said he had his kid.

That's what he told me.

Ladies, we haven't even

been here five minutes yet.

Who we scheming on?

Your girl over here.

Uh...

Cassie, isn't that that

dude that you that you-

went out on a date wit'?

-Yes, that's him.

Yup, that's his lying a*s.

Well this sh*t should be.

'Cause this crazy.

(playful music continues)

I hope nobody sit next to this n*gga.

Cassie is that baby

daddy right over there?

This sh*t should be good.

Man.

[Chrissy] We here, we

here, Dionne, ladies.

Yo', what's up with this $200 entry fee?

- [Chrissy] Oh we got jokes.

- I like this one right here.

Uh yeah, tell us about the $200.

Yeah Toni you got strippers

coming through or something?

Figured her freak a*s would

say something like that.

You bringing out the a*s shakers

and ain't give me a heads up?

I spend most of that money

on the food I brought.

m*therf*ckers always wanna announce

that they paid or bought

for something. Whatever.

- Exactly.

- Chill babe.

I don't want no trouble.

- Okay.

Trying to sell some books here.

- Okay. Okay.

- And we appreciate it Gabe,

we put the food you cooked on

the counter next to the food

that Desiree made

and next to that nasty

a*s food Yvette brought.

I know what food I'm not eating.

Don't start no sh*t Chrissy.

I feel you though.

Wait. Somebody cooked some bullshit?

Oh you sure don't know

how to blend in, don't you?

Y'all know I could take my

food if it's not wanted, right?

sh*t, I put in gas money if you serious.

(Ryan laughs)

- Hilarious.

- Alright everybody,

let's bring this thing in.

Some of y'all m*therf*ckers

came in here empty handed.

So Tone, please tell us

what you trying to do tonight?

Yeah please.

Because you know there's some people here

that could have been

at home with they kid.

The f*ck is that about?

Dionne, what the hell were you

and your girls doing

before y'all got here?

Yeah 'cause that was

some different sh*t.

We're here because I wanted

to get some of my friends

and some strange friends of my friends,

all together in one room.

- Well we're here.

- Yo', that's my boy Nate.

Is Nate single?

(horse neighing)

He must be the stripper.

He's gotta be.

(Ryan laughing) Yo' you

could tell that her a*s

played house and doctor

as a kid.

Nasty a*s.

Word.

Yo', yo', calm down everybody.

Nate ain't no g*dd*mn stripper.

Not that I know of.

Nate, you a stripper?

- Well, are you?

No, I'm not a dancer. Sorry.

Nate does have a product

that I would like for him to introduce.

Chrissy has a product

that I would like for her to introduce.

Christopher has something that

I would like for him to share

with all of us in a minute.

And of course y'all know

Yvette doing her thing too.

Wait a minute.

So you invited us to a flea market?

Smart a*s. You kind of right.

I just hope you bought some money though

so you could support.

Exactly what is it that we supporting?

Well if you must know,

I wanna a few of you to support

my brand new line of wine.

My guy.

So tonight were here

having a wine tasting event

to kick off my new brand of wine

and Chrissy's new line of glasses.

So everyone come up and purchase a glass

so we can enjoy Toni's fine wine.

So I wanted to get us all here,

not to just smoke on sh*t,

not to just gamble the night away.

I wanted us here supporting

black businesses.

- That's-

- Okay.

Now that's a dope a*s idea, right?

Yo' Capital A', what's good?

Slow motion on my side T'.

My dawg,

you sitting there like you

ain't even pose' to be here.

You on some like Deborah Cox type sh*t.

Maybe he's not supposed to be here.

You two been cutting your

eyes at each other for a minute.

Y'all like what y'all see or something?

(cats meowing)

That depends on if he likes

dealing with grown women

or dusty little girls.

Why this b*tch, keep talking to me?

Oh, shots fired.

(imitates g*n fire)

Definitely a graze wound.

And you know that sh*t gon' show

'cause he light skinded it.

Well, that all depends.

I mean we don't know

if he even like girls.

Excuse me.

[Dionne & Cassie] Shay.

- What?

- Shay, nothing.

I mean like we are in

a different time now.

Yo', you out of pocket shawty.

Is she?

Because I believe she did

say that in a respectful way.

Oh and please explain to me

of how you know of her intent?

To answer your statement

or whatever it was.

I love women.

I love dealing with women.

Now, it just so happens that

I keep choosing the wrong one.

(record needle screeching)

(throat clears)

- Or sleeping with.

Could be something

unaddressed inside of you

that keeps causing you

to pick the same women.

This sh*t is funny.

I can agree to that.

I'm praying for you, fam.

Nah, these people expect everyone

to be collateral damage in the w*r

that they are waging against themselves.

Skank, you sound about right,

but y'all not gon' sit

here and tag team, my boy.

Did this hoe just called me a skank?

Yeah, Dionne things get shared in time.

I hit once and now I'm toxic.

So how do I as a man

in the beginning stages of

getting to know a woman,

tell her that I was molested as a child.

You know that's a great question.

And how do I know that

I'm not now the topic

of conversation when her

and her girls is out the

brunch.

Hmm?

See that's it.

Most of the time people hold

what they know against you.

Like you can't grow or some sh*t.

Now, I gotta come

around her and her girls

and they looking at me like I'm crazy

or something like, this n*gga.

Yeah, that sh*t is crazy.

Well, you don't know and

you may never know the answers

to those questions until

you open up to a real one.

Yeah.

How many times he supposed

to keep opening up?

A lot of people front like they real one,

then, some bullshit.

Well, that goes to

what we're all out here

actually settling for.

That could be bullshit or boredom.

And I will build with

you but I ain't fixing you.

No sir.

Look, people in therapy are

usually in therapy to deal

with the people in their lives

that won't go to therapy.

That's 'cause culturally society looks

at therapy as a bad thing.

It's frowned upon.

- Culturally?

f*cking Bob Dylan.

- Yeah, culturally.

I remember back in the

day people used to say,

therapy you gonna go see a shrink?

That's for the people

who are stuck in their

heads thinking too much.

The intellectuals, the eggheads.

What the bottom line is,

a good and faithful

partner is hard to find.

Well, sometimes a woman

can't find a good man

because she done smashed

the homies already.

Nope.

That was before we got together.

Presumptuous, right?

Listen, years before I came

along to tap that thing,

that thing got tapped.

Banged out.

I was honest with him and that was it.

Oh you better than me.

So now you're calling me stupid?

(Christopher chuckles)

Listen,

I'm no better than anybody else here

but I made my decision and

I don't regret a thing.

I don't lose an ounce of sleep over it.

There's no looking back.

And if I wanna go tap something,

we just have a conversation

and I'm very happy.

And I'm happy.

So what if she says no Mr. Willis,

that you can't go and tap something else?

Nah, no disrespect.

But a woman's body count matters to me.

Why?

Because as a man I need to know.

I need to know if they did

the same sh*t that we do.

Whether she used a condom,

did she swallow or not?

I'm just saying.

If other people f*cked

her better than you.

- Bingo!

- Insecurities.

These n*gg*s done f*cked

so many hoes with boyfriends

that they can't even trust

their own hoe when they got one.

If you can't accept

that everyone has a past,

you in a world of trouble, my brother.

Put a condom on.

Yo', safe sex is more than

just putting a condom on man.

It's about making sure

you being real careful

about who your soul is tied to.

I need to know that

my p*ssy ain't been ran

through more than Flo Joe, Jesse Owens,

Sha'Carri Richardson.

Number one, it's not

yours, it's just your turn.

What are you looking for

the maiden virgin?

I mean everybody knows there ain't

that much brand new p*ssy

going on around here.

It's just about all those

puty-tats are out the box

and, and, what do you,

you don't wanna settle for

the recycled repackage sh*t?

Come on.

(Christopher chuckles)

I mean, good luck on that.

I mean gimme a break please.

He's so busy wondering

how many bodies she had.

I wonder if you actually

knew, what would that change?

sh*t, it would change a lot.

It ain't gon' change how your d*ck fit.

And so when does the amount

of women that you knocked

down come into play, huh Ryan?

Please do tell,

inquiring minds who wanna know

'cause I'm a erotic

author in my own right,

and in my humble opinion.

(playful music continues)

Excuse me for a minute.

Whether you f*cked 40 women

or you just f*cked two,

what benefit did it have

in your life other than bragging rights?

If that's your motivation.

Did you leave these individuals

in a better place than you found them?

So, you are assuming

that he had feelings

for everyone that he slept with?

- Thank you.

- Good point.

Sometimes you're just a

victim of a smash and dash.

Or an agreed, hit and run.

(upbeat music)

- You got that sh*t right

'cause life is too short

for bad relationships

and shitty sex.

So you find somebody

that'll f*ck you right

and treat you how you

deserve to be treated.

Amen.

Definitely can take years to find.

sh*t, find it in multiple people.

Why limit yourself?

- This is not a draft.

Why you keep trying to recruit people

with a, with every other

word outta your mouth?

I ain't recruiting nothing or no one.

My lifestyle makes me

happy. And that's it.

We get that, damn.

(upbeat music)

Toni, this wine is actually real good

and I love the name too.

Is this the stuff that

has Desiree running back

and forth to the bathroom?

Hell no. And thank you.

It's my middle name.

I love it.

Like, what inspired you to

come up with your own brand?

Like what made you sit

down one day and say,

"You know what, I'ma start

my own brand of wine."

It was the fact that I

had nothing to call my own.

I was the consumer in

every area of my life

and I owned nothing.

- That's dope.

You know what.

I'm lying.

I saw my friend Chrissy here

with her own line of glasses

and I said besides supporting her,

won't I try something myself.

Oh yeah, that's right.

I did see you posting

some of her products up

on your social media page.

And you decided to launch your own wine.

That's some dope sh*t.

Your glasses are dope as hell

and your wine is good as sh*t too.

Thank you. It wasn't easy either.

I wanted to pack it in and

call, quit several occasions.

But thanks to my friend

Chrissy here for going with me,

helping me pick out the

grapes, pick out the bottles,

design a label and sh*t.

Congratulations to each of you.

And they say we can't do it.

Sometimes we even say

that we can't do it.

So cheers to knocking that non-truth down.

Toast.

- Hold up, hold up, hold up.

I gotta put my girl on the spot

'cause she got a line of sh*t too

and she need to do something like this.

n*gga, sit yo' stupid a*s down.

I been stop selling them used sex toys.

Oh, so that's why you wanted us

to come with at least $200.

Look, I'm glad this f*cking

therapy session is over.

Yo' shawty is hot with you, for real.

Yo', she definitely hot with yo' a*s.

Be right back, lemme hit this bathroom.

If Desiree ain't f*cking it up in here.

Deal with that sh*t another day.

Would you?

- No.

- Okay then.

Ladies, I thought you'd

like a whiff Dionne.

- I do.

- What do you think?

Anything else

I could smell?

Now don't let that

candle get your a*s moist.

Too late.

Can we step outside for a second?

Cassie, I came here to have a good time.

Ain't nobody's stopping

you from having a good time.

Let me give you two

adults some time alone.

You ain't gotta give us sh*t.

Sit down, please.

Alright now,

the man said he only wanna

enjoy himself tonight.

- [Aaron] No.

- Are we good over here?

No we not.

Because your friend Cassie wants

to have a conversation that could be said

and had at a different time and place.

I told you to leave this n*gga alone.

f*ck him.

And she obviously can't leave him alone

and she already f*cked this dude.

And who you talking to?

Well, I'm talking to you.

Ladies, we're not doing this here.

You right.

'Cause we could do this outside.

Listen, I beat b*tches

for fun and for free.

Let me lead the way.

Really?

(tense music)

Look Toni, my apologies. Okay.

It's totally my fault.

It's just a simple misunderstanding.

Listen and it's gon'

be some understanding

around here too.

Can we bring up this little

squabble with some taste good?

Damn.

What exactly is happening out here?

The problem is that she

keeps picking broken men.

Well, maybe his is the exorcist then.

And there you go talking again

when nobody's talking to you.

Watch how you talk to my queen.

And watch how you talking

to my peoples Ron Jeremy.

sh*t, she more like everybody queen.

The f*cking community queen.

You know what.

These hands is ready "E" for everyone.

Y'all both can catch these hands.

What the f*ck. Get away...

And I just so happen to be

a giver as much as a receiver.

Aaron, you need to be

stopping all of this sh*t.

Oh and now this sh*t is on me?

Did you two just meet?

No we didn't.

Told you, she f*cked him.

'Cause ain't nobody out

here acting like that,

that ain't getting no d*ck.

- Facts.

- True.

For real.

(upbeat rap music)

Tried to hide it them cops got it

They stopped the Audi, I hopped out it

They tried to hide

from them cops siren

My opps is obviously not bout it

Either that or they c*ck it

They fired shots but they-

Oh he f*cked her.

Yeah.

- Real good too.

- Whether I f*cked him or not.

- Girl, cut the bullshit.

You already f*cked him.

Yes, I did.

At least I can own my sh*t.

He as a black man needs to

know what he gotta work on.

It's not your job to fix

anyone that's not your child.

And look, I don't need fixing.

n*gga, you need to fix that lying

'cause if you don't want to be

bothered, just let 'em know.

Give they a*s a chance to rock

out with somebody else man.

Or what the f*ck y'all thought,

I wasn't gon' side with my boy.

sh*t, I might let his

a*s have it in private

but I ain't gonna do that

sh*t in front of y'all.

And as long as we hold each

other's feet to the fire,

we can get somewhere.

Oh, trust.

This n*gga, Aaron's feet,

they been through the fire.

True story.

I say let that man work on what he needs

to work on at his own pace

so he can-

No, what he needs to do

is remove himself from the dating scene.

'Cause all he's doing is

bleeding all over people

that didn't even cut him.

Look alright.

I clearly stated that I came

here to have a good time.

I didn't come here to be preached to.

Look.

Can we just find somewhere to

sit down and talk about it.

And end this night on some positivity?

Please.

- Yeah,

if we gotta do this sh*t another night,

we can do this sh*t another night.

(playful music)

[Clarence] Here we go.

Here we go. Here we go.

I know, I'm in the right place.

'Cause all y'all look hangry.

Hungry and angry.

Yo', who ordered this food?

Oh, this ain't food.

This that chicken.

Chicken.

- Yo', my man.

Does it come with fries?

sh*t, you bet your

a*s, it comes with fries.

A shape like he is.

He's definitely not the stripper.

[Clarence] I really

didn't want to come here

and sh**t anybody.

- Definitely not.

- Don't discriminate.

'Cause I take 'em tall,

dark, bald, short and skinny.

Oh, I guess you gotta get

it however you can get it..

Cause' he ain't it or skinny.

I wonder if he got any mild sauce

that I could pour in his little fat a*s.

Damn everybody with this

mild sauce. Get me some...

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, okay, okay, okay!

What, what we owe you?

What we owe you?

- One pan flats.

One pan drums.

My bill, my place, I got this Nate.

- Oh, so this your place, huh?

- Yeah, this me.

Very nice place you have.

So maybe you could tell

me where my girl is at?

Is she in the bathroom?

Because I know she been coming over here.

Hold up, baby.

Yo', let's talk this out, my brother.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, my brother.

Let, let's talk about this.

Now, you've got the wrong place.

I know she's here. Is she back there?

Anybody else back there?

My man, this is everybody that's here.

Listen brother, what's your name?

We don't want no problems.

And I don't wanna sh**t a m*therf*cker

that thinks he's the negotiator

so shut the f*ck up for I hit

your a*s wit' a two piece.

No biscuit.

You right, you right.

I'm thinking about

converting to Islam anyway

so I'ma be fasting.

We don't know you and

we don't know your lady.

Just like he said.

Marsha Warfield shut yo' a*s up.

Look man, it's no need to hurt anyone.

Aight?

Just leave before the cops get involved.

It escalates and then,

turns in for the worst.

You can leave that chicken though.

You both shut what

they call the f*ck up.

My lady is 5'9".

She's taller?

Christopher, shut the f*ck up.

Please and do.

sh*t we all need somebody to look up to.

Y'all m*therf*ckers,

stay saying the wrong sh*t at

the wrong g*dd*mn time, man.

Shut up.

- Exactly.

And I know she been rocking

different wigs over this way

'cause I watched her a*s.

Ah, we ain't seen nobody come in here

with no up f*cked wig except for Yvette.

He said wearing two

wigs not a f*cked up one.

as*h*le, I ain't say she

wears two wigs at the same time.

(playful music)

- Well, sh*t,

you need to clarify that.

Ol' girl got our heads on

a f*cking swivel in here.

And got you out here looking crazy.

I heard two wigs.

Now, I heard two wigs

but not at the same time.

Yo', who the f*ck wears two wigs anyway?

And she can't wear the third wig.

'Cause this m*therf*cker got it on.

His sh*t f*cked up too.

f*ck is y'all talking about?

The girl I'm looking for is light-skinded.

- I got that.

- She got a fat a*s.

Well, Dionne that marks you safe

'cause clearly you left

your a*s at home tonight.

Look, I really don't

want nobody to get hurt.

(playful music continues)

(thump)

f*cked him up.

Let me go get this chicken.

Let me get my own sh*t,

folks, here will starve out the white guy.

Are any of you m*therf*ckers

gonna get the g*n

before he comes back through?

Well if you tie his a*s up dark panther,

I'll definitely fix

your b*tch a*s a plate.

- Cassie, you good?

- I'm good now.

She about to f*ck him again.

Yo', can I put some f*cking music on?

You already know I like what I see

Like this

Let's go

- 3, 2, 1.

- Oh sh*t. Action.

Wow. Wow.

That don't make no sense girl.

Oh, sh*t, I guess he

ordered the ground beef.

Damn, the chatter 'cause

the sh*t don't matter.

[laughing] Got it right?

[Big Baby] So you taking

your lady to the party

or you taking me? I

think you should take me.