Scotoe (2024)

[bunniefuu]

You're a real environmental hazard,

you know?

Do you know what's bad

for the environment? Your breath.

- Getting personal, flathead?

- Camel head.

- Kebab head.

- Tajine pothead.

- Aubergine.

- Camel.

Nope. You already used that one.

- I said 'kennel'.

- You said 'camel'.

- Good day, gents.

- Hi.

- This is a no parking zone.

- Sure...

- but we're not parking, we're waiting.

- It's the same thing.

Brother, how is it the same? Parking means

waiting and then continuing on your way.

And we're waiting here, innit?

Waiting at the same spot

is called 'parking'.

And in this zone

it's actually called 'ill*gal parking'.

That means a 100-euro fine.

- What?

- 100 euro?

- Brother, listen...

- I'm not your brother, okay?

Why are you guys like this?

We could also tow it, you know. We're doing

you a favour. Just doing our job here.

Really?

We're also doing our job here.

Right. I'm sorry, brothers.

I wasn't aware...

Ah, so now

you want to be our brother?

But you know what? Now we no longer

want to be your brothers, brother.

- Come on, guys. We'll just annul it, right?

- I don't want you to annul it.

Now you want to annul that fine? I'm going

to pay it, man. I will pay 200 euro!

I'm paying, brother.

Today is the day that I'm...

I apologise. He's had

a difficult childhood, you see.

- I have to go, colleague.

- Now I'm a colleague?

Great, just run away.

I almost...

Yo mama.

Where are you?

Hey poser,

I can see your hunchback. Get up.

You can't even hide well.

I wouldn't do it. Just stay here.

I wouldn't do it if I were you.

Don't do it.

Blonde hamster,

think you'd be faster than us, ulleh?

If you're Speedy Gonzales,

we're Usain Bolt.

- Usain Bolt was from Suriname.

- Jamaica.

- So what?

- So you were wrong.

Brother, it's your head that's wrong.

- Whatever, man.

- What?

We arrest you on suspicion of drug dealing.

You have the right to remain silent.

He won't listen anyway.

- Anything you say can be used against you...

- f*ck you, coppers.

- Not very nice.

- No.

COPPERS

Everything is ready for departure.

Perfect.

Our next destination is Amsterdam.

- Let's go.

- Let's go.

Daddy, Mina refuses

to open the bathroom door.

- That's not true.

- It is too. Open the door.

Open the door.

- Don't you hear them?

- You do it, okay?

- They're saying 'Daddy'.

- I'm hearing 'Mummy'.

- Daddy.

- Daddy.

Daddy. Daddy.

- Ewa, Mo. Everything okay?

- Don't ride too fast, boys.

Okay.

- Waddup, copper. Waiting for the bus, ulleh?

- Bus 710 hp.

- 20 inch, ulleh?

- 22 inch.

Whoa.

Mo? Is that you?

- Samira.

- Long time no see.

- I thought you were in Rabat.

- I was, but I moved back.

Wow.

- You haven't changed a bit.

- Neither have you.

- Are you still waiting for Sino?

- Yes, I'm still waiting for Sino.

Anyway, nice to see you again.

I have to go now.

Okay, next time...

we could go for a drink, maybe?

Wait a sec.

Ciao.

Let's go.

- Drive carefully, okay?

- You know me, right?

Come on.

- What's the matter, honey?

- Just tell him.

- What is it?

- I'm being bullied.

- What poser is bullying you?

- His name is Thomas.

What happened?

That annoying Thomas always ridicules me

for my Trkish bread, because it's so big.

Sweetie, our Trkish bread is the very

biggest. And we are the best in the world.

That's something to be proud of.

Eli, you're her big brother.

You have to protect your sister.

If he tries it again, just give him this

big Trkish Ottoman slap in his face.

- But he's the strongest kid in school.

- No, no slapping.

Always stick to the school rules.

You know the rule, right?

'Stop it.

I don't like what you're doing.'

Very good. Let's go.

I can see what you're doing.

- Shall I give you a Gold Star?

- Yes, right here.

Don't touch me. Come on.

- Just in time. Good morning. Hi.

- Apologies.

Good to see you. Bye.

She's waving at me, potato-head.

What we need most of all now

is information...

because right now we don't know anything.

We're completely in the dark.

Gentlemen. How good of you to come.

- Much too late, though.

- Bas.

- It's always those types.

- Nico.

We do know

through our international channels...

that within the next couple of days a large

cocaine shipment will arrive in Amsterdam.

But we don't know where,

and we don't know how.

The mayor doesn't

want it to hit the

streets. I don't want

it to hit the streets.

Everybody, put your cases on hold.

This is now our top priority, okay?

- Easy.

- For everybody.

All available information

is accessible on the intranet.

Mo and Sino, you come with me.

- Oh no, together to the boss's office.

- We're getting promoted. Bam.

- Really?

- No, of course not.

Yesterday...

Albert Cuyp market.

Metro station.

- Surfing on a tram?

- You know, the thing is...

- What happened there...

- Guys, please.

Just make sure

you do your work properly this week.

I want to see results, not chaos.

- Okay, no worries, inshallah.

- No. No inshallah.

I mean, you always deliver in the end,

but it comes with too much damage.

You guys are one of the best teams

of our police force.

But I can't keep covering

for you forever. I have my limits too.

Sure. I have a great idea.

Boss, you're totally right. It won't happen

again. We will not disappoint you.

- Let's go.

- Boss.

Thank you.

Mehmet.

That talk you had with the boss

wasn't about getting promoted, now was it?

Look, it's them again: the B-Team.

So childish. Boys, how about

taking a case seriously for a change?

Isn't that the sound his sister makes?

- It's the sister alright.

- Pathetic, so typical. A personal attack.

Why his sister?

That's not how she sounds at all.

- I will have to report this to the boss.

- Snitches.

These jerks can't be relied upon

during wartime.

- Your kind betrayed Anne Frank.

- Dude...

Seriously, Anne Frank?

But Anne Frank was betrayed, right?

Gross.

Jenny, two chicken sandwiches please.

One and two.

- What are you guys doing here?

- You never call me back.

- I'm busy. I have lots of other stuff to do.

- Like what? Eating your own sandwiches?

Or going for a swim in Cola Creek.

Info. Let's hear that sweet info rolling

off your tongue, Jenny. Start talking.

Dirty kebab-eater,

you're getting on my nerves.

- Really? I'm so scared.

- I dare you.

- Easy now.

- Hold me back.

Bro, calm down. I apologise.

It's that Trkish hot-headedness.

Tell your butt buddy

to save that sh*t talk for his 'mama'.

- Leave my mother out of this, you hear?

- Calm down. Apologies.

Esra?

I'm at work. What's the matter?

The news is a crazy coke deal

will be taking place in this area.

- You're in on the news.

- Even if I knew anything...

I wouldn't be a snitch about it. Never.

So what happened?

- Esra, calm down, okay?

- Jenny, Jenny, Jenny...

I won't mention those pot-smoking lads

at your doorstep...

in the middle of a zero-tolerance zone.

We don't want you to lose your license.

- Are you intimidating me?

- This isn't about intimidation.

This is about the neighborhood, Jenny.

Our neighborhood.

Coke has ruined these lads.

Not to mention Justin.

- Leave my cousin out of this.

- Wagwan. He's a Belgian papi.

A top boy

you will have a hard time catching.

His enforcer is recruiting

all these boys.

I think he's based

in that new hotel in the West borough.

He's been there for about two months.

Okay, okay, okay. I like this guy.

Let's skip those sandwiches.

- Alright, I'll take care of it.

- What happened?

- Mina got into a fight in school.

- She okay?

I'm going to have to check it out.

Jenny, thank you. I appreciate it.

Don't forget to wash those smelly armpits.

Cola Creek for life.

I love it!

Crazy Trk.

Miss Tamara, right?

...was either sad, disappointed or angry...

Hi.

- I have to go outside for a minute.

- I'll take over.

Wonderful. Thank you.

Are you coming, Mina?

Everybody be nice to the police officer.

- Come with me, sweetie.

- Alright.

So this is where all

the ugly children are at?

No.

- I'm happy we can have this talk.

- Yes, of course.

- I'm quite concerned about this, you see.

- Concerned?

The thing is,

Mina has hit a boy from her class.

- Yes.

- But he called me names first.

I know that, but in this school

we don't hit others.

- You know the rule, don't you?

- 'Stop it, I don't like what you're doing.'

- Very good.

- Very good.

'Stop it, I don't like

what you're doing. I

can see you're bullying

me. I feel threatened.

How can we solve this issue together?'

That's what you have to say

when you're being bullied?

- Also when someone hits you very hard?

- Yes, that's the rule.

That's so stupid.

Who told you to do that?

- The teacher.

- It's the school rules.

Okay, but in the streets

there are different rules: street rules.

So I wanted to check

if there's something I need to know.

- What do you mean?

- About the situation at home perhaps.

I mean, aggressive behavior is often the

result of feelings of frustration, so...

I see. But no.

We don't have any problems, really.

Everything is positive. No aggression.

Okay. Be aware that I will be having the

same talk with Thomas's parents as well.

- Good stuff.

- Good stuff.

It's better to prevent incidents from

happening, because prevention is better...

- Than cure.

- Very good.

- So who is, like, the bully of this class?

- That's me.

- Come. Come here, Tom.

- My name is Thomas.

Whatever, poser. Come here.

Thomas is the big bully here,

and he's going to try to hit me.

What do you do? Watch me.

Go ahead and hit me.

Thomas, you're a strong guy.

Hit me hard. Let me have it.

Look.

Sleep, come on. Sleep.

- Shall we go back inside?

- Sure. Let's not turn this into a...

- Sleep. Sleep.

- ...a very big issue.

- No.

- So, eh, you know.

- Okay. Mina, are you ready to go back in?

- Thank you so much. That was great.

Thank you, Miss Tamara.

- Nice group.

- Yes.

- Are you okay?

- Yes, I'm alright.

I went to school in Trkiye.

They have different rules there.

Here they sit the bar way too high.

Bro, that's Trkiye, this is Hollanda.

It's 'set the bar'.

Set, sit, situation... Why do they have

to make it all so complicated?

Dutch is just a tough language:

spelling, grammar, vocabulary.

- You need to go back to school.

- And you're a poser.

I poser, you poser, we posers.

You dumbass. You really think

you're Will Smith, don't you?

With your fake leather

jacket, bought for

ten dirham at a shady

place in the mountains.

- Wannabe-bad boy.

- Whatcha wan' do, huh?

- Bad boy...

- Whatcha wan' do?

Bad boy, whatcha wan' do?

We have to be extra careful.

We've run out of credit with the boss.

No big deal, man.

I'm an Ottoman warrior.

- So we investigate. Just look around.

- Look, but don't touch.

Relax, nothing's happening here.

- Wanna bet for a sausage sandwich?

- Plain and cheese.

- Double sausage.

- That one's good too.

What you say? What you say?

Ronaldo is superman. He total six-pack.

Messi hundred-pack. He listen Trkish

music: Mslm Grses: 'Asiksin...'

What? No. Messi no way better Ronaldo.

Ronaldo. Messi poser, same you.

No, this not... Messi is really Trk,

born in body of other country, Argen...

Colleague, habibi. Big man staying here

two months. Big smelly type. Where...

I'm done with him very much. Every day

skid marks, splatter, stinking diarrhea.

- That's gross.

- Room 800, oh man...

No, room 1000 is the dirty filthy one.

What? I'm telling you 800,

you're telling me 1000.

I told you one million times,

room 1000 has skid marks.

- Not in my face. Too close.

- I come close...

- I told you it's room 8...

- Boys, easy now.

It's room 1731.

Trust me, I know my sh*t.

Please, no sh*t. I'm done

with diarrhea skid marks. Not okay.

- I told you it's room 1000...

- I said 1000-31.

Good luck.

1731, I don't want diarrhea.

I don't want your diarrhea. No way.

- I'm getting that sausage sandwich.

- Stuff your sausage sandwich, man.

Time to relax.

To think you're willing to pay 10K

for that lousy Rolex watch.

It's called class, something you will never

have with your cheap watch.

Cheap watch? Look, I can make it

light up, and it has a stopwatch too.

What do you have? All it can do is

tick, tack, tick, tack. Just one function.

- When I grow up, I want to be Sino.

- I want to be you.

Question:

What are we doing with this?

You decide:

in the locker or up your a*s.

- Did you get that dough yet?

- Nope.

- So they still haven't finished cleaning?

- No, and they sold half of it already.

- Ah, a Trkish hammam.

- It's Moroccan, dude.

- Trkish.

- Not everything is from Trkiye.

Tulips from Trkiye,

yogurt from Trkiye, soccer from Trkiye.

Next he will claim

Saint Nicholas is from Trkiye.

Bro, Saint Nicholas is

actually from Trkiye.

Saint Nicholas

Mehmet? Yeah, right.

Apologies.

He's had a difficult childhood.

It's really starting to heat up in here.

This is a real top-notch hammam.

Sorry, I didn't know...

Sorry, sir. Accident. Look at those

man breasts. Diamond push-ups.

Very big... So sorry.

Quick, quick, let's go!

That p*stol up my a*s

might have been preferable after all.

Bro? That really felt good, man.

My skin feels super smooth now,

like a baby's bottom.

- It was way too hot for me.

- I enjoyed it, though.

- It opened up the pores. Nice and steamy.

- Too many hairy men.

That big guy was panting in my neck. When

I turned around I saw the chest he had.

Never seen anything like it.

Firm, but smooth. Amazing.

Smooth and hairy.

And all of them were bald too.

Bald and lovely.

I'm thinking of shaving mine too.

Next time I will give you a good scrub,

and I will oil up everything properly too.

- Deal.

- This will be our little secret, okay?

You two are so brave for being so open

about it. Have a nice day, gents.

What were you thinking? He works for a big

fashion brand. He's not involved in this.

- We think that...

- It's totally irrelevant.

But you still decided

to lock him up in a sauna cabin.

- Trkish hammam.

- Moroccan.

How irresponsible can you be?

It heats up to 50 degrees.

Count yourselves lucky he hasn't filed

a formal complaint against you.

I'm done with this.

It's the end of the road for you.

I'm going to file a report.

This is your final warning.

- What's up, man? More bad news?

- Let's go.

Ewa, fam. Adhering

to the law is hard, right?

No, no, they are

the law. Right?

- Why do co-drivers always act tough?

- Because this co-driver has a lead.

We are going to solve this case.

Right. But the last time you guys solved

a case was precisely never, right?

The tough thing to do now

would be to just drive off.

- Dude, the engine...

- Close the window. Close it.

I am closing it.

So, tell me now:

What were these two guys doing there?

I couldn't tell you, boss.

You're not careful enough.

Can I really trust you with this project?

You can definitely

trust me with it. I'm

trying real hard to do

everything properly...

so they won't catch us lacking.

You know who I am.

Really? So why do the cops

know about you and your location?

Because if they're able to find you,

they will find me too. Don't you get that?

- Find us?

- Listen carefully.

You're going to find this guy

and eliminate him.

If you don't, I will eliminate you.

Will do, boss. I will put his lights out.

Idiot!

- Hi, honey.

- Hi, Dad. You forgot about it, didn't you?

No, of course not.

Mummy already

made herself pretty for you.

Made herself pretty? Yeah, of course.

I made myself pretty too.

- She also has a present for you.

- Sure...

I also have a very nice surprise for her.

- Okay, sweetie. Big kiss.

- Bye.

- He forgot, right?

- Yep.

How can you forget your wedding

anniversary? How will you sort this out?

- I will sort this out, no worries.

- You're not going to sort this out.

- I'm not going to sort this out, no.

- No.

The only thing women want

is attention.

When was the last time

you gave your wife some real attention?

See? It's in the little things.

A bunch of flowers, an evening walk

on the beach, a romantic dinner.

- Attention.

- Bro, cut it out.

I mean, I...

I bring the kids to school, I...

I prepare their sandwiches.

What...

Bro, that's what love is, right?

What do I need to do?

Bro, you know, right?

Sure, but anyway, I told the guy:

No way, brother...

so the four of them came up to me...

Right?

- Super.

- Is it?

Mummy.

- It was lovely.

- I had not expected this at all.

That's why it was a surprise.

Good of you to get Mo to babysit.

The children will be asleep by now.

You know how good Mo is with the children.

They're sleeping like a log right now.

This feels really good.

We should do this more often.

I agree.

Let's do this more often.

Spending time together like this,

just the two of us, I really enjoy it.

Me too. It feels good to me too.

I'm really enjoying it.

It makes me feel good.

Sometimes I get the feeling you're married

to your work instead of me.

No, please.

It may feel that way to you, but...

Look, 100 pictures.

Zoomed in, super sharp. Yes.

Esra? Esra, wait.

Where are you going?

It was her idea.

- You had one job.

- But you had one job as well.

After all my instructions

you still screwed up.

Not true. I was having dinner, and suddenly

I notice this car driving up and down.

- Look, the number plate.

- Let me see.

- Are you sure they were after you?

- Guaranteed. It's them.

Let's go.

- Mo?

- Hey, Linda.

How is the most beautiful girl

in the world doing?

- What do you want this time?

- Habibi, what's with the attitude?

- You're breaking my heart.

- Yeah, right. What do you need?

I'm looking for a number plate:

3-SDO-97.

S for Samira, D for Dounya

and O for Omeima.

Are those girls you're dating?

I'll have a look.

It's registered to a Lee Chang.

I can give you an address.

Linda, you're the best. Super.

Next week you and I are going to have

a wonderful Moroccan dinner, inshallah.

Yeah, right. I know all about

your inshallahs. I'm good, thanks.

Linda. Li...

She likes me.

Why?

What the f*ck is this place?

Bro, I had no idea

these types of posers existed.

Zombies.

Are you sure this is the right place?

- This is causing damage to my ears.

- And to my eyes as well.

Relax. We're not here to do karaoke.

We find the guy and we're out of here.

Bada bing bada boom.

Esra?

- Hi.

- Hey.

- I'm looking for Lee.

- Wee?

- Lee.

- G?

- No, not G, Lee.

- Knee?

- Lee.

- Wee?

Zebbi.

I don't know any Zebbi.

I'm working.

I'll call you back in a minute, okay?

Yes, but there's nothing I can do about it.

Okay.

- Hey, were you looking for Lee?

- So you did understand me perfectly well.

I thought you said something else.

- G, Knee, Tea...

- Hee-hee-hee.

Hahaha.

Lee is waiting for you in the back.

Awesome.

Esra? Es...

Hey, thanks, guys. I'm done.

Fred, this super starlet

hasn't sung anything yet.

- Starlet, what the hell?

- It's your turn. Read the lyrics up there.

Let's go, Tarkan.

Are we done yet?

Lee?

Lee?

So you're Lee?

Nice to meet you.

Listen, Bruce Lee.

I don't fight women.

My love, I had to get this off my chest

sorry I had to wake you from your rest

I have to tell you that I love you so

and I mean it

the loneliest number is one

single, that's what you said in the hotel

because I didn't want to know

I didn't know, I didn't know

Turkish helicopter.

- Bro, she is Lee.

- Who, me?

- Bro, what's going on?

- Lee ran away, bro.

- So what do we do now?

- Where were you anyway?

Where were you, man? Sweaty,

out of breath. What's going on, man?

Wait. I'll be right back.

Smoke a cigarette with me

Oh yeah? Sorry.

- Hi. What rhymes with Lee?

- Wee?

Zebbi.

- The Trkiye match is about to start.

- We're in a hurry.

- So we're doing the Trkish version.

- Not again, man. Moroccan.

- sh*t.

- Moroccan it is.

Not this side, please.

- Talk, man. Talk.

- Okay, stop it.

Yes, he hired us. That's all I know.

Really, I swear.

Talk, man. Talk.

Start talking.

- Is that it?

- Yes, that's all.

- That's it?

- Yes.

You guys promised

you would do the Moroccan version.

Cut it out.

Okay, enough is enough.

I'm not even going to name all the

things you guys did wrong this time.

But each time it seems to be even worse

than the previous time.

- I'm not done yet.

- Okay.

Do you have even the slightest notion

of how a police case works?

I respect you,

but I expect you to respect me too.

I don't feel any respect.

No respect whatsoever.

It's done now.

It can't go on like this.

You know the procedure.

Bro... no.

- Go.

- Yes.

- Hey, hey. Wait a sec.

- Take it easy, man.

- Where's your badges?

- No... Have you guys been suspended?

I get it, you know. In

your countries of origin

suspects are routinely

roughed up, right?

- But that's not how we do things here.

- Let's work together. We have information.

No kidding. I have some information for you

guys too: You've been taken off the case.

- That's a German accent.

- Seriously? Scheisse.

It's a serious lead,

but we can't explore it

any further, so you

guys look into it, please.

We will be looking at how you guys will

slowly leave the premises. Come on.

These guys are posers, bro. Let's go.

- Don't touch me.

- Everything's going to be alright.

- Nice one.

- Coffee time.

- But it was a Moroccan accent, wasn't it?

- No, German. It was clearly German.

- What? No way. I...

- 100% German.

- But I used 'ewa'.

- No. That would have made it Moroccan.

Hello.

- Good morning.

- Hi, Miss.

Nice.

- Hey, Samira.

- Hey, Mo. What brings you here?

- How are you doing?

- Good, and you?

- This happens to be my running route.

- Oh, wow.

- You are working out as well, right?

- Yes, sorry. I have to wrap it up.

- Go ahead.

- I'll be right back.

I'll be waiting here.

Thank you.

- Wagwan, man? Everything okay?

- Yes, of course.

- Two snow cones, please.

- Okay. What flavour?

One passion fruit, and...

- Strawberry.

- Strawberry? The taste of love.

- Very sharp. You see everything, don't you?

- Yeah, man.

- Here you are. Passion fruit...

- Delicious.

- ...and strawberry.

- What do I owe you?

- No, man. This one's on me.

- Thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks.

- Wow, just what the doctor ordered.

- This one's for you.

- Strawberry? My favourite.

- You know what they say about strawberries.

Well?

- Been a while since I last had a snow cone.

- Being nostalgic here.

- You remembered my flavour.

- Yep.

- Whoa, this one tastes heavenly too.

- Passion fruit and strawberry...

that's a good match.

Hey Mo, I wonder

why things didn't work out for us.

I think I didn't really have the guts...

to say what I really felt for you.

Feel for you.

And what do you feel now?

To be really honest, I...

Sorry.

- Let me guess. Sino?

- Work. Sorry.

Whaddup?

Important?

Wait...

Okay. Right, I'm on my way.

Okay, bro.

What's up, man?

I have caught the evil eye, man.

Wallah, I've caught it.

I have bad luck in everything I do.

I'm taken off the case, I have to

return my badge, Esra isn't happy.

Bro, it looks I can't do anything right.

I should be living your life for a change:

Nice and relaxed, classical music...

waking up to the

lovely sound of crickets.

All I hear in the background

is Rwina Kouzina.

I have to walk over children's toys

every day. I have punctured feet.

You don't get it, do you?

Bro, you have a gorgeous wife,

two fantastic children.

You live like a king.

What are you even talking about?

You're not making sense.

Do you know what it feels like

to wake up every day...

and there's no one you can talk to?

Every day. Every single day.

Bro, my biggest fear is

that I will die a lonely man.

I have no one.

What's that nonsense, bro?

'I have no one.'

I am here.

Your brother for life.

Bro, it is written:

One day an utterly handsome man

will come into your life...

who will sweep you off your feet with his

big bushy brush. That's a promise. Okay?

Bro, it was a joke.

No need to start crying.

Who's crying?

This place is badly ventilated.

- Let me see your face. You are crying.

- It must be the Madame Jeanette smell.

- Shall I book you guys a hotel?

- Wagwan, Jenny.

Ewa. Have you heard anything

about that Belgian dude?

- No, man.

- Not a trace.

I've heard there's

a big international

fashion event taking

placing this evening...

and it turns out he's connected to it.

Connection.

I have a feeling we

should be there tonight.

- Shall we go?

- Let's go.

- You're welcome.

- There you go.

- Do we call the boss?

- We're going without calling her first.

- Together?

- Yes, f*ck it.

- Hopla.

- Grandpa Potato Head.

Potato yourself. You're ruining my door.

Bro, Esra can't know we're working.

- Why not?

- I can't afford to make any more mistakes.

I need to relax, okay?

By the way, she knows we've been fired.

Hi, Esra.

Wallah, I still can't believe

you married this ugly son of a g*n.

If this is about work, you're not welcome.

You two caused too many problems.

This isn't about work.

This is just for fun. A small party.

For fun? A small party?

A party, without me?

You're going to do something with Mo

you never do with me.

Yeah, it's not that.

It's... What is it again?

What kind of party is it?

- Tell her.

- A small party, some kind of event.

- Fashion-related, I think. Nothing special.

- Some dull and tired sh*t. Very boring.

A fashion event? Okay.

I'm going with you.

Five minutes.

Fifty minutes.

Good afternoon, sir.

sh*t, I need to get

something from the car.

You two go inside.

I'll be there in a minute.

Okay.

- Wow.

- It's been ages since I was at a party.

Definitely.

- You haven't changed one bit, have you?

- What? It looks great, doesn't it?

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome.

You've had to wait a long time for this...

but today it's time to present the

most anticipated collection of the year.

I'd like to introduce you all to today's

biggest fashion designer: Stephanie.

Where is Sino?

He's missing out on everything.

Yeah...

Here you go.

Let the show begin.

We're living in a world where

our individuality is stripped from us...

by the uniformity of our clothing.

With my latest collection

you get to reclaim your individuality...

because every item is unique, every item

is genuine and every item is a person.

- It's quite fun, isn't it?

- Yes, I wish I could do this more often.

- What do you mean by that?

- This is so not Sino's thing.

For him, a perfect

date is going to a movie.

Right? But we can agree

that he is a good man.

Of course I agree. He's the best thing

that ever happened to me. Thanks to you.

Bro.

- I'm so sorry.

- Dude.

- I'm sorry, sir.

- This is a very expensive watch.

Honey, it's okay.

It's not that big of a deal.

- Hey.

- Hello.

- What are you doing here?

- What am I doing here?

What's keeping Sino?

I don't...

Let's go this way, shall we?

I know... You very smart man.

You give good question. What I...

I don't why I am...

Yes, I do know.

Check-up. Cleaning. I make

a special cleaning. Everything clean.

Here is very, very dirty.

May I have this dance?

It's like being back in secondary school.

Look, this one. This firefighter extra

dirty. Firefighter must always cleaning.

Check-up for extra safety.

This son of a g*n, th...

I'm spitting, sorry.

Birdie?

Now you really see real birdies, right?

Mister firefighter.

Mo, I don't understand you.

- It's okay. Forget about it.

- Say it.

Back in the day you used to dream

about a farm with some land...

and about starting a family with Samira.

- Are we going for a bite?

- With all the models.

I don't mean anything by it, but it's just

so totally different from how you are now.

Bye-bye.

I shouldn't have said anything. Sorry.

But I would really love to see you find

the happiness you were hoping for then.

That was then.

She's here, you know. She moved back.

She has her own business in West.

I know.

I know Samira is back in town.

She's single.

- I know that too.

- No, you didn't know that.

This is your chance.

Why don't you grab it?

- You're scared of love.

- I'm not scared. I'm scared of no one.

Okay, maybe you're not scared of love,

but you are scared of old love.

Come on, Mo. You really deserve it.

I want to see you happy.

You're so sweet.

Allow yourself to feel those emotions.

Who is sweet? What's going on? Bro,

what are the two of you up to in there?

What's going on?

Who is making who happy?

What's that?

Is this Sino?

- I can explain.

- Are you guys working? Are you seriously...

- Sino, are you actually working?

- Honey...

- I can explain. Wait.

- Are you guys taking me for a ride?

Are you taking me for a fool?

- I'm just... I'm so tired of you guys.

- Honey, listen. I can explain.

I'm so tired of you.

I'm totally done with this.

It will be okay. Sweetie, listen...

sh*t.

- Quick, come with me.

- Bro, where are you? Get the hell here.

Bro, get the hell here. Hurry.

Bro, I'm coming, okay?

You're not so tough now,

are you, joker?

Any last wishes?

I'm hoping for someone

to come and help me. Inshallah.

- Allah won't be helping you today, dude.

- He will.

He already did. My brother Mo

is here. Look behind you.

And now you expect me to turn a...

Bro, why were you whispering

sweet nothings to my wife?

Bro, is this the question you're asking me

after I saved your life?

What's this? A double moustache?

Bro...

To be continued.

Come on.

Come on. I'll explain everything.

Stop. Police.

Why do they always run?

Please, bro.

Don't sh**t. Don't sh**t.

Bro... Man...

Bro...

Jackpot.

This is Sino's voicemail.

Leave a message after the beep.

I don't care what's going on,

I need you to come here right now.

- Are you okay, darling?

- Can we give you a ride?

No, I'm good. Thanks.

You come with us.

- Who solved this case?

- You did.

No, no, no. You did.

- Bro...

- We did.

- Man.

- Easy now.

- What?

- Question.

- Yes?

- How many millions are in there?

- Five.

- No, higher.

- Ten.

- Higher.

- One hundred million.

- Many, many millions.

Bro, call the boss.

The boss will be so proud of us.

We are the best, bro.

She knows it, man. She knows.

Esra, you're not going to believe this.

Filthy thieves.

You have something that's mine,

but I have something that's yours.

- Sino, help me.

- Esra. Esra.

I swear: If you lay a hand on her,

I will k*ll you, man. I will k*ll you.

I want back what belongs to me. You have

exactly one hour. You know the protocol:

No police. Or else... Or else I

will put a b*llet through her head.

Hey, gorgeous.

Sing a song for me.

Hey, don't be shy.

Come on now.

- I should have let her stay at home.

- Don't worry.

Don't worry? Why shouldn't I worry?

My wife is gone. What...

Do you have a wife? Tell me.

- Bro, listen...

- What...

Stay focused, man. We have to stay

focused. We made a pact, right?

We will fix this together.

We always have, and we will do it now.

What was the promise we made?

We would always fight for each other.

We would die for each other. The moment

has come, so what's it going to be?

Are we going to destroy these posers

or not? Are we going to finish them or not?

Let's obliterate his mother. Let's go.

Damn.

You stopped me from sh**ting that

poser, so now we don't have a key.

So now I'm the bad guy?

All I'm saying is that if I had shot him,

we would now have a key.

- All I'm saying is: We need a bleeding car.

- And a key.

- So a car.

- With a key.

- Whassup!?

- Need a cab?

Sounds good, eh?

Thanks, boys.

You're good racists.

Hey, thanks, man.

Hey, Bas. Give me your g*n.

It's those filthy thieves.

What's up with that?

You guys didn't come alone.

- Esra.

- Stay right there. Stop.

Wallah, if you hurt her,

I will k*ll you, as*h*le.

- Where's my coke?

- In the car.

- Please, don't hurt her, alright?

- What about those b*tches you have there?

- Let her go.

- Steph? Help me here.

Esra, are you okay?

No, you...

You'll keep to your end of the deal, right?

We would trade off the coke for my wife.

Did you keep to your end of the deal?

No, you didn't. What's that, huh? Come on.

- Hey, what...

- Get out, now.

- Get out, you clowns. Nice and easy.

- Easy now.

- Easy now.

- I am easy.

Easy.

- It's in there. Let her go.

- Nice product.

Let her go now.

- Esra, careful.

- Go on.

- Esra, come here.

- Go on. Chop-chop.

- Come, Esra.

- Hurry up.

- Come on.

- Esra, watch out.

Esra, watch out.

Esra.

Well, well, well, well, well.

Now it's just you and us.

She thinks she's Karate Kid.

I'll do it.

I have a weekly kickboxing course.

So, let's see

what you've got in your tiny store.

Bro, give me your g*n.

Mine is empty.

- Give me your g*n.

- No.

- Let me sh**t, bro.

- No. You can't hit any target.

Here.

See? You sh**t like a cross-eyed donkey.

I promise to sh**t

like a straight-eyed donkey.

Give me that g*n.

This is about my wife, you know.

Here.

sh*t, I am cross-eyed.

- What are you doing?

- Brother, I have your back.

Whoa, those are Moroccan temperatures.

You're in heat. Move.

- Nico, it's your turn.

- No, you go.

No, you have a go.

- Sino?

- It's Esra.

Thank God.

Are you okay?

Nothing happened to you, right?

- Don't lie to me.

- No, I swear. He's over there somewhere.

Are you sure? Go upstairs.

We'll be there soon. Please be careful.

I will.

Who is a cross-eyed donkey now?

Wait, yo.

This Nico bows to no one.

How serious is that

kickboxing course?

It's cardio kickboxing,

but I thought she...

- Stop it. I don't like this anymore.

- Me neither.

Easy there, mister.

Let me go. Let's cut a deal.

- Shut it.

- I give you the coke and lots of models.

- Stop it.

- This one's for Esra.

For the massages I missed out on.

- And this one's for Trkiye.

- No...

- Trkiye?

- You know...

Easy now.

- Boss.

- Gentlemen.

- Good job. My compliments.

- Thank you, thank you.

I really did... We really tried our

best to... We have a great team.

- Thanks to Bas and Nico, our brothers.

- Our brothers.

Goodbye.

Okay, I guess I'll see you guys

on Monday at the station.

- Boss...

- Will we get back our badge and our g*n?

Inshallah.

- Why does it feel like she's trolling us?

- Because she's trolling us.

You're such a poser.

How can I be a poser when you're the

biggest poser? Double poser.

No, you're the worst poser

of the whole world...

- of Pluto, Mars and beyond.

- Close curtain. Close curtain.

- Plus the evil...

- It's closed.

- Bad boy, bad boy.

- Whatcha wanna do?

You're no bad boy, I am bad boy.

- Whatcha wanna do?

- Whatcha wanna do?

Did you know you're at one million calories

and counting?

Did you know sunflowers

are originally from Trkiye?

- Doesn't make sense.

- It does, because I'm telling you.

Morocco has more sunshine than Trkiye.

It loves the Moroccan sun.

- That's why it's called a sun-flower.

- All I hear is a sun-poser.

Let's bet for a sausage sandwich, bro.

Let's make a bet. You're scared, right?

- Now, Samira...

- I thought this was about sunflowers?

She is a sunflower. She's from Morocco.

Just applying logic here.

- Baba, did you call her yet or what?

- Yes, I definitely did.

Make romance?

Make baby?

White picket fence...

Asalaam, asalaam...

- Good day, gents.

- It's kid brother.

You know this is a no parking zone, right?

- Yes, but we're not parking, we're...

- Waiting?

Exactly.

You remember from the previous time.

You must have skipped a class at school.

Okay. Wait.

- He's telling us that we should wait.

- That's our call to make.

- We wait.

- Community service officers...

coppers.

Bro, did you press a button?

What's going on?

Bro, use the handbrake.

What's happening?

Bro, what are you doing?

Brother, stop that thing. Stop that thing.

Brother, stop that car now.

- We are f*cking coppers.

- Community service officers, b*tch.

Hey, we are the coppers here.

COPPERS

520, take 4.

- Tajine pothead.

- Aubergine.

- Wait, we're doing each other's lines. sh*t.

- Again.

Guys, come... Hey.

Okay, just run off.

Stop it.

Trkiye?

Dude...

Cut.

I forgot my line.

I have some information for you guys too.

You split up. You're now divorced.

Alright, I'll take care of it.

- You're supposed to listen, you know.

- Oh, sorry. We were really...

- Are you okay?

- Yes, I'm alright.

Just let me know,

because I will chase those guys.

- I'm okay.

- You know that, right? Okay.

- Our at-home stitchuation...

- Excuse me?

- Who solved this case?

- You did.

No...

Yes.

You're playing with me, Mohamed.

I'd like to introduce you all

to the best fashion...

We did.

- Ouch, my head.

- Are you okay?

Yeah, sort of.

- Bro, listen...

- Man...

- That's it.

- I hit him. I'm so sorry.