01x05 - Ian, Lamar & Delores

[bunniefuu]

(slow twangy blues music)

(silverware clinks)

- Ian. You're the fool.

(laughs) Is that a

surprise? I don't think so.

Lamar, you're the hangman

reversed.

- What does that mean?

- Inner discontentment,

sacrificing but getting nothing

in return,

avoiding a change.

I find you two very confusing.

- You know that's a bad habit,

right?

- Are you my doctor? I don't

think so.

Why don't you worry about

yourself?

(exhales) Are you happy

together?

- What do you mean

happy together?

- You know,

we have our challenges

It's not like

- like any couple.

- we're married or anything.

Well, we're not.

Look, I don't buy marriage or

labels and any of that sh*t.

I don't. Doesn't mean I'm not

into us.

- What do you think about that?

- I think Lamar has commitment

issues

that he masquerades as

politics, but that's fine.

I'm not dying to spend my life

as his servile little house

frau.

- See, Ian's problem

is that he needs a

relationship to complete him,

and it bugs him that I don't.

- Let's just say I'm not Lamar's

preferred vintage anymore.

- Try grape.

- Maybe you're just

not that into fruit.

- Is this about Linda again?

- Anyway, it's my turn to draw a

card.

- Oh. (laughs) I'm sure

it doesn't mean anything.

- [Lamar] Yeah, it's, it's just

a card.

- No, I'm on the cusp of

a whole new beginning.

- Well, that's optimistic.

- A rebirth.

I'm, you know, oh, what do you

call it?

- Metamorphosizing?

- Yeah!

- Like a moth?

- Oh. Oh.

- Are you okay?

- What's going on? Do you

want us to call an ambulance?

- No, you idiots! I'm not having

a stroke.

I'm having, I'm having a vision.

(soft ethereal eerie music)

- A vision?

- Sh! I need quiet.

(scoffs) It's Aunt Mildred.

She died in '68, got thrown

off a horse, poor thing.

(horse neighs)

Oh, she says she looks

forward to seeing me soon.

- How soon is soon?

- Well, she can't be sure,

but she reminds me I'm no spring

chicken.

- Hmm. I totally relate.

I often feel like I'm no spring

chicken

and that my body could just

deteriorate at any moment,

like my knees hurt-

- What's that, Mildred?

Oh, that's Ian. He's just a

fussy fagola.

- [Lamar] (laughs) The fussiest.

- And she wants me to

apologize to Newman Brown.

She says unfinished business

is bad for my rebirth.

- [Ian] Who's Newman Brown?

- I left him at the altar

when I was just a girl.

He was so upset,

he took his bicycle and

rode off the town bridge.

(bicycle bell dings)

(water splashes)

(Ian and Lamar laugh)

(audience laughs)

Ooh, not the last broken

heart either. (laughs)

(soft melancholy music)

- That'll be me one day, huh,

Lamar?

A heartbroken simpleton riding

his bicycle into the river

because he couldn't find

a man to complete him?

- Do you even ride a bike?

(mid-tempo bluesy harmonica

music)

- You know, when I was your

age, I didn't know who I was,

not really, and I, I

certainly wasn't thinking

about who I'd spend the

rest of my life with.

Maybe I should've been. I don't

know.

Things might've been easier.

Anyway. My point is you

don't need all the answers.

Go and enjoy your bodies while

they work. Enjoy being young.

Try things, get in trouble,

and love each other.

There's no harm in that, right?

(mid-tempo rhythmic music)

Ooh, I, I think I may have

taken too many pills today.

I must say, woo, I'm quite high.

(laughs)

(everyone laughs)

Okay.

Woo hoo!

(glasses clink)

- [Lamar] So, Delores,

where do you get the pills?

- [Director] Ian, you just have

a moment

to yourself thinking about

how you're gonna die alone.

Action.

(mid-tempo rhythmic music

continues)