01x02 - Four Geniuses

[bunniefuu]

I'm going to start
my own business.

Now imagine if there
were an establishment

where people could gather
in a sophisticated setting.

- Paul Snider.
- Steve Banerjee.

And this is Dorothy Stratten,
Playmate of the Month.

We're opening a strip
club for the ladies.

You're gonna make a lot of
money, have a lot of fun,

get a lot of p*ssy.

It is the world premiere
Chippendales Dancers!

What you have is
a crass spectacle.

Nick de Noia. Emmy-winning
choreographer.

Your emceeing services
are no longer required.

I've given Nick full authority
in all creative matters.

Are you f*cking kidding me?!

♪ '70s pop music playing ♪

In other news today,
we are sad to report

on the shocking death of Playboy
Playmate and actress Dorothy Stratten.

Ms. Stratten was m*rder*d last
night by her husband, Paul Snider.

Mr. Snider then turned
the g*n on himself

in an apparent m*rder-suicide.

Police are still investigating

but have not released
a motive at this time.

Ms. Stratten was cast in
Peter Bogdanovich's caper

"They All Laughed," which will
be released later this year.

Boss, you doing all right?

I'll be back in a bit.

♪ Contemplative music playing ♪

This should be quick.

♪ It started off so well ♪

♪ Said we made a perfect pair ♪

You want to start here
then go to the next page.

Good.

♪ I clothed myself
in your glory ♪

♪ And your love ♪

♪ How I loved you ♪

♪ How I cried ♪

Perfect.

This one's ours.

And you each keep one.

Stick with me, I'll show
you all the local spots.

- Oh, yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

♪ The years belie
we lived a lie ♪

I want to thank
you for coming in.

♪ ...'til I die ♪

Yep.

♪ Save me, save me ♪

♪ Save me ♪

♪ I can't face this life alone ♪

♪ Save me... ♪

♪ rock music in background ♪

Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey. Let's go dancing.

- Hmm?
- Hmm.

Have you ever been
to Circus Disco?

Actually, I don't dance.

What?

Thanks. That was fun.

♪ Pensive music playing ♪

♪ cartoon music playing ♪

Fairy tales are marvelous,
wonderful stories

that were supposed to have
happened a long time ago.

Here's a story called
"The Ugly Duckling."

As the story went, there
was an unhappy little duck

who was lonely and afraid

and he felt he didn't
fit in anywhere.

As it turned out, it grew
up to be a beautiful swan.

Do you think fairy tales
still happen today?

Well, they do here
on "Unicorn Tales."

Once upon a time, in
the here and the now...

in the kingdom of
Unicorn City...

in a place called
People's Park...

♪ Hup, sh**t 'em up! ♪

♪ Hup, ride! ♪

♪ Hup, sh**t 'em up! ♪

♪ Hup, ride! ♪

♪ Hup, sh**t 'em up! ♪

♪ Hup, ride! ♪

♪ Hup, sh**t 'em up! ♪

♪ Hup, hup, hup! ♪

♪ Hup! Hup! ♪

The cowboys again.

They were better the first time.

♪ Hup! Hup! ♪

♪ Hup! Hup! ♪

♪ Give your love
to a cowboy man ♪

♪ He's gonna love you
hard as he can, can ♪

♪ Give your love
to a cowboy man ♪

♪ He's gonna love you
hard as he can... ♪

Hello?

Nick?

Yes.

It's Steve. Banerjee?

The reason I wanted
to speak with you...

Your routine, the response
has been spectacular,

there's no other way to put it.

I could use a few more.

What?

A few? My friend,
you need a lot.

I mean, customers aren't
coming back if they think

they're gonna see the
same sh*t as last time.

You want that show of yours
to be a long-term proposition?

Hmm? You've got to have
a constant, steady flow

of spectacular new product.

I mean, to be honest, what you
really need is somebody in-house.

- In-house?
- Mm-hmm.

On staff. A full-time
dedicated choreographer.

Would you consider?

Oh, me? [chuckles] Oh, come on!

Why not?

Look, I enjoyed helping you out,

it was a fun little lark.
- What would it take?

There's a million
choreographers in this town.

I'm sure you could find
somebody perfectly serviceable.

I do not want serviceable.
The reaction your stuff...

Steve, you gotta understand, I'm
an extremely busy, in-demand guy.

Any given time, I got a million
things going on, you know.

What would it take?

I mean...

for me to be there full-time?

Just tell me what it would take.

All right.

For starters, complete
creative control.

Done.

- Budget for costumes.
- Done.

- Budget for props.
- Done.

And you'd need to
fire all the dancers.

♪ Disco music playing ♪

Five, 6, 7, 8, and hands!

And reach and reach
and 5, 6, 7, 8!

And one, and pump and pump!

Okay, guys, we're gonna
do it one last time, slow,

just so that you can
keep up with the moves,

but you got it, let the
energy flow out, all right?

Then hip, and hip.

And down the body,
down the body.

Step, boom, and drop.

And five, six, seven,
eight, and step.

Hit it!

You're doing great. Okay?

Hand extended to five,
six, seven, eight.

And one, and pump.

Back pump, and hand.

There is a room of
screaming women.

Boom, good!

That was good.

And boom, and one,
two, and three.

Boom-cha-cha-boom-cha-cha...

There's one part still you're
not getting, it's throwing.

Keep it sharp. Yes.

Good, yes. Pivot.

And good!

Nice.

And pivot.

Stop, stop, stop, stop. Blue
shorts, what's your name?

I'm Otis McCutcheon.

Otis McCutcheon. You
seem to know your stuff.

I do all right.

You had any formal
dance training?

Uh, I mean some, yeah.

You know, I, um... I'm an actor,

but I take classes in tap, jazz,

a little bit of modern.

I did a year and a half with
the touring company in Godspell.

Godspell?

Yeah, you know, I
definitely danced with that.

- Good job, man.
- Thank you.

All right, guys.

Here's the hard part.

I wish I could hire you all.
That is not the game we're in.

I am so sorry.

Front row, this is the
end of the road for you.

You may leave. Thank
you so much, guys.

I appreciate it.

Back row, congratulations.

You are now officially
Chippendales Dancers.

Well done, well done. Good job.

- Thank you very much.
- Nice lines.

Otis McCutcheon.

Thanks, man, awesome.
Thank you, man.

He is Black.

Is that a problem?

No. It's good.

Customers will love it.

Let me hear you scream
for Otis, ladies!

♪ They say the neon
lights are bright ♪

♪ On Broadway ♪

♪ They say there's
always magic ♪

♪ In the air ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ They say the women
treat you fine... ♪

Baby, it's getting hot in here.

He is all the way up to sexy!

♪ But looking at
them just gives me ♪

♪ The blues ♪

♪ 'Cause how ya gonna make some time ♪
- Excuse me.

♪ When all you got
is one thin dime... ♪

Is this your place?

Are you the owner?

♪ ...your shoes ♪

I f*cking love this place.

I...

I mean...

Hello? Um, can you hear me?

Can you hear me?

Look, I...

no offense, but I'm working.

Alright.

♪ They say that I
won't last too long ♪

♪ On Broadway ♪

♪ I'll catch a
Greyhound bus... ♪

Y'all, I wish I had his body!

♪ But they're dead wrong,
I know they are... ♪

Ta ke it off! Yeah!

♪ ...this here guitar ♪

DJ, hit it!

All right!

Ladies, Otis loves
eye contact and cash,

so give him what he wants
and he'll return the favor.

Oh, my God!

Grab that tip, he'll
give you a kiss.

That's how it works. Whoo!

Someone call Canter's Deli.

We've got a tongue
sandwich on the table.

Ladies, do not fight.

There is plenty of
Otis to go around.

And I do mean plenty.

I can confirm!

♪ Oh what, wow ♪

♪ He's the greatest dancer ♪

♪ Oh what, wow ♪

♪ That I've ever seen ♪

♪ Oh what, wow ♪

♪ He's the greatest dancer... ♪

Who's next?
- Hey, can I get another Coke?

- Sure.
- Thank you.

How are we on singles, Bobby?

Uh, getting a little low.

- I'll get you some more.
- Great.

I've just been so
crazy, you know.

Been nonstop, going, going.

Hello.
- Hi.

Here's your Coke.

Thank you.
- Good work, Bobby.

Is this your place?

Oh, this? Yeah. I'm the owner.

Wow.

Are you having a good time?

Just not my kind of
place. No offense.

Not my kind of place either.

Oh, baby!

Make some noise in here!
This could be your night.

Make some noise. Get
that girl, mister.

Oh, she's sexy!

This is the night that
three lucky ladies

will be selected from the crowd
to have your dreams come true.

Looks like it's you,
it could be you.

It's definitely gonna
be a night to remember.

Enjoy yourselves!

I wouldn't normally
have two in a row.

I have trouble sleeping,
but it's, uh...

it's gonna be a long night.

Grab that tush!

Yeah, for me too.

Oh, oh.

Sure.
- I'm the owner, so...

Actually... Bobby. Yo!

I'll have one too.

You got it, boss.

♪ I've got you backed
into a corner... ♪

I heard they're developing
a caffeine-free version.

- Really?
- I read it in Newsweek.

Oh, well, I will be
the first in line.

Not if I beat you to it.

One Coke.
- Thank you.

If I got there first, I
would let you... jump ahead.

Cheers.
- Cheers.

- What's the matter?
- Uh... oh, um...

What is it?

- Nothing.
- Please tell me.

It's not my place to tell you.

Please.

I want to know what
you're thinking.

- See that?
- I don't quite.

The ice. It's-it's...

only filling about
two-thirds of the glass.

Which means, in
a 12-ounce glass,

the top third of the glass
contains twice as much alcohol

as it would if there was ice,

which translates to probably an
extra 50 cents' worth of alcohol

per Long Island Iced Tea,

compared to one where
the ice goes to the top.

Multiply that times the number

of Long Island Iced Teas you serve
in a month and that's... ooh...

200 per month times 30
nights times 50 cents...

You're talking
monthly lost revenue

on the order of...

$3,000.

And that's just the
Long Island Iced Teas.

You add that to the Dirty
Bananas, the Fuzzy Navels,

the Slippery n*pples,
the Screaming Orgasms...

I bartended in college.

May I?

Uh, yeah.

Um...

Simple solution.

Bigger scoopers.
You should have two.

One that holds exactly
enough for a 12-ounce glass,

then a second one for
your 16-ounce drinks,

like... like a
jigger, but for ice.

That way your bartender doesn't have
to putz around with multiple scoopers

trying to get the exact right
amount for a certain glass.

It's just "one and
done," which you need

in a high-volume situation where
you want maximum efficiency.

I know it sounds
crazy, but it would...

make a big difference.

Ballpark?

This one change would boost
your annual bottom line

somewhere on the low
to mid six figures.

I'm an accountant.

We could use an accountant.

I got dollar bills
everywhere, man.

Richie Rich!

I made some money, didn't I?

They were loud.

Great job, boys! Not perfect.

Definitely some things we need
to clean up. CJ, you overstuffed.

Hey, man, it's like you
had a beaver down there.

But, but, all in all...

for a first night
on six-days' prep,

I will f*cking take it!

Yes, yes!

Okay, go, get some sleep.

I will see you bright and
early tomorrow at 2 p.m.

What time, Richie?
- 2 p.m.

2 p.m., don't be late.

Thank you.

Hey, question.

- Yeah.
- How is your tango?

- Uh, my tango?
- Mm.

It's excellent.

I had a feeling you'd say that.

Hey, um...

listen, uh...

Can I, uh... Can I
ask you something?

Yeah, what's up?
- Yeah.

The kiss-and-tip.
- Mm-hmm. What about it?

I don't know, I just, uh... I
kind of feel funny about it.

You know, the kissing,
the groping, uh...

I'm not used to
that kind of thing.

You don't really get
that at Lincoln Center.

Yeah.

Yeah, so I guess what
I'm asking is, um...

is it required?

Only if you wanna get paid.

♪ Latin dance music playing ♪

Ah!

Oh, sorry! Sorry, sorry.

I'm sorry.

You good? Oh, I'm good.

Yeah. No, I'm good. Don't...

Don't hurt your fingers.
- Thank you.

- Don't want you to get hurt.
- I won't get hurt, thank you.

- Promise?
- Promise.

You want to put it
down? No, no. I'm good.

Okay, we're gonna turn here.

Okay. Okay, now...

♪ disco music playing
on car radio ♪

A beautiful and sunny 75 degrees

in Santa Monica...

Watch your step.

Don't worry about the car.

We have the right-of-way.

♪ Music on radio continues ♪

What the hell?

Maybe the other way,

so we're not
constantly having to...

turn?

So like... face each other?

Maybe.

Okay.

Come in.

Otis.

Oh, you know my name.

Of course, you're one
of the new dancers.

Pleasure to meet you.

Hi. [clears throat] I'm Irene.

Irene is our new accountant.

Oh, right on. Well, it's
nice to meet both of you.

So, what can I do for you, Otis?

I just, uh, wanted
to let you know

that there's a protest.

Oh, goodness.

That was fast.

I only phoned an hour ago.

You phoned who?

Uh, the Seventh Day Adventist
Church of Los Angeles

to alert them to the den
of perversion and sin

less than a mile
from their door.

Wait, you called them?

[on phone] KCBS Tip Line.
- Yes, KCBS News Tip Line.

How can I help you?
- I'm calling to alert you

to something going
on at Chippendales,

that horrible male stripping
establishment on Overland.

Yes, there is a church group
protesting right outside

because they do not like
the presence of this club

in their neighborhood.

Thanks for letting us
know. We're sending a crew.

Good. People need
to know. Thank you.

You're welcome.

They're on their way.

We're gonna make the
six o'clock news.

Bobby, make sure you
have enough vodka.

It's going to be a busy night.

You got it, boss! Wow.

You're a bad man, Mr. Banerjee.

I'm sorry you disapprove
of my tactics.

Disapprove? I mean, I'm in awe.

I mean, you just... what,
you just bought this club

like $5,000 of free advertising?

$6,500. That is what KCBS
charges for a 30-second spot.

Our news story should be
at least a full minute.

Teach me.

I wanna learn everything
that you know.

But you are a dancer.

Actually I'm an actor,
but... even then.

I've been grinding
out the last 15 years,

you know, doing cruise
ship gigs and local theater

and a guest spot on Love Boat,

living paycheck to paycheck.

And I got a wife and kids and...

no health insurance.

I mean, I majored in
business in college

and for a while now I've been
thinking about getting back to that.

And now I meet you...

I mean, a brown-skinned brother
making sh*t happen for himself.

I mean...

I don't know,
maybe it was meant.

Sorry, I do not have
time for a trainee.

Okay.

Nah, I get it.

You're a busy man.

All I'm asking is,
uh... let me watch you.

- Watch?
- Yeah.

You know, hang around,
just to see what you do.

I mean, even the shady sh*t.

I could always use some
help with the books.

Right on. Right on.

One more time for the
men of Chippendales!

♪ Dance music playing ♪

Wow, wow, wow!

With muscles and
that golden tan,

between the sheets,
he's got the plan.

Tony!

Whoo!

His candy cane, it
tastes so sweet.

All ten inches you will eat.

CJ!

Watch out on that.

And last but
definitely not least...

one look at him and
your toes will curl.

He's got the moves
that'll rock your world!

Otis!

Ladies, tonight is a night
you will never forget.

Everything you saw here tonight

only happens at Chippendales.

That is our show for
tonight. Get home safe!

Oh, no way I'm goin' home.
I need some d*ck, stat!

What do you see?

I see a crowd leaving.

And where do you
think they're going?

Home?

- Out to other bars to find men.
- What are you getting at?

What I'm getting at is, why
don't they stay here instead?

We don't allow men in the club.

For the show.

But afterwards...

If we let in men
after the show...

The women would stay.

We could stay open for
hours, as late as we want.

Men would be happy
to pay a premium

for access to a room full
of sexually eager women.

- Definitely.
- Imagine the extra revenue.

I mean, we're not talking a
10% boost to the bottom line,

we're talking 100, 200...

I haven't run the numbers
yet, but maybe. Why not?

I hope I didn't overstep.

Hey, it's 10:03.

Come on.

All right.

♪ Color me your color, baby ♪

One at a time!

♪ Color me your car ♪

♪ Color me your color, darling ♪

♪ I know who you are ♪

♪ Come up off your color chart ♪

♪ I'll know where
you're coming from ♪

♪ Call me ♪

♪ On the line ♪

♪ Call me, call me... ♪

Welcome to the
after-party, ladies.

Come on in.

♪ I'll arrive ♪

♪ You can call me
any day or night ♪

♪ Call me ♪

Guys, give me one second,
I'll get you your change here.

♪ Cover me with kisses, baby ♪

♪ Cover me with love ♪

♪ Roll me in designer sheets ♪

♪ I'll never get enough ♪

- Gotta split the singles.
- Okay. Be right back.

♪ Cover up your alibi ♪

Hey, Otis! Hi! I
love you so much.

I love you.

- Otis!
- Hey, man.

Hey, what are you doing?

Oh, I'm, uh, helping out a
little bit on the money side.

- You are?
- Yeah, yeah.

Steve, man, he's kind of
taken me under his wing.

It's amazing, man.

I f*cking love this place.

You wanna know why?

Not now!

What the f*ck is your problem?

♪ Amore, chiamami ♪

♪ Chiamami ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Appelle-moi, mon chéri... ♪

Ooh, ahh...

Sorry. Oh...

No problem.

Bobby, uh, needs
singles at the bar.

Bartender, yeah, yep.

This is amazing.

You ain't seen nothin' yet.

Uh, and can you make a dal
tadka or sarson ka saag?

Do you want the spinach too?

Yes.

And the saag or...

What am I having?

Okay, you are having the
dal tadka and the spinach,

um, and also got us some Cokes.
- Okay.

Oh, my God.
- You like it?

Mm-hmm.

It's like 85% as
good as my mother's.

But that 15%, you know.

- She used to make this?
- All the time.

When my father and
I would work late,

she would bring a big
tin of it downstairs.

Downstairs?

To the printing press.

Um, that was the
family business.

I used to help out.

Was that what your dad did?

- He still does.
- Yeah?

Come from four
generations of printers.

Three generations of
aluminum siding suppliers.

- No kidding.
- Mm-hmm.

It's a... it's a bit of
a point of contention.

How so?

I'm kind of the black
sheep of the family.

Of my four siblings, I'm the
only one who didn't sign on.

When I graduated UW with
my accounting degree,

the assumption was
I would work there,

spend my life doing the books

for good old Tychowsky
Aluminum Siding.

But...

It's not what I wanted to do.

I didn't want to be the accountant
for the family business.

I wanted to be a
Hollywood accountant.

I know, it's silly.

- No, it's...
- Yeah.

So, on my 22nd birthday,
I packed my bags

and I hopped on an Amtrak
bound for Los Angeles.

When I got there,

I applied to every movie studio
and talent agency in town,

and eventually I landed a job

in the accounting
department of Warner Bros.

Warner Bros.?

It was thrilling!

I would see movie
stars all the time,

sh**ting stuff, coming onto
the lot to take meetings.

One time...

I, um...

I helped Linda Carter
find the bathroom.

- Wonder Woman?
- I know, right?

She didn't know
where it was, so I...

took her to it.

Did you say anything? Did you
say, "I love Wonder Woman"?

I got so nervous.

I just said, "I
hope it goes well."

Soon after that, I got laid off,

and, uh... I couldn't
find an accounting job

in Hollywood anywhere.

Then I got desperate

and took one with a
landscaping company.

Missed the glamour
and the excitement.

And then Chippendales
came along.

♪ Intense dance music playing ♪

He's giving you
that look, ladies.

You know what that look means.
It's about to get nasty up in here.

With four half-naked
dudes behind Otis,

there's no telling
what could happen.

Get up with that cape.

Here we go!

♪ Come on ♪

♪ Let's dance ♪

♪ Get down ♪

♪ Tonight ♪

♪ Flamenco! ♪

♪ Flamenco ♪

♪ When we dance flamenco ♪

Wow, wow, wow, wow!

Hot-cha-cha!

Give it up for Otis!

He just left to get
some fresh ChapStick.

Ladies, it's time
for the Kiss-and-Tip!

Get that money out and
get those lips ready.

The more you move,
the more they sweat,

the more you sweat,
the hotter it gets!

The hotter it gets, the
more clothes come off!

Let's go!

Hey, what are you doing?

Where are you...?

Every woman...
- Otis!

Has her dream fulfilled tonight!

Make it loud for Otis!

Enjoy your life, ladies.

It doesn't get any
better than this.

But wait, it does!

Welcome back to the stage, Otis!

The man, the myth, the
legend. Half man, half naked.

Half ready to grind
on you against a pole.

Right on cue, baby.

Up and down, down and up!

Get out that money
and live your life!

Ladies, here he is, our
special guest cashier!

I've got five dollars!
- Who's next?

- Me, me!
- Otis, over here!

I'm next! I'm next!

Steve. Can I have a word?

He's supposed to
do Kiss-and-Tip.

It's part of the show.

This is just a one-time thing.

It's a great way to
open the gift shop.

And what's this about you
taking him under your wing?

He's just helping on the
business side a little bit.

- Oh.
- Inventory, marketing, bookkeeping, that's it.

Well, could you maybe
find somebody for that

who's not my most
popular dancer?

Calm down, okay?

The interest is coming from him.
- Oh.

His ambitions are bigger
than just being some dancer.

♪ Dance music playing ♪

Hey, Nick.
- Vodka tonic.

Yep.

- Bobby. Hold the tonic.
- Yeah?

Yes, sir.

♪ People dancing... ♪

Don't tell me you're
f*cking working now.

You're a hard man to compliment.

- Try again.
- Well, I...

I just wanted to tell you

that I'm obsessed
with this place.

Thank you.

I f*cking love this place!

The fantasy aspect,

the reversal of male and
female power dynamics.

Are you kidding? And
the f*cking bodies.

Forgive me for
stating the obvious,

but I think you
really have something.

Do you, now?

Yeah.

This could be huge.

This could be global.

With Chippendales,
this could be a chain.

Anywhere that there are women

who want to cut loose

and finally take
control of things,

like men, for a night...

huge!

What's your name?

Denise Coughlan.

Denise Coughlan?

Nick de Noia.

Nick de Noia.

What is your deal?

Deal? What is my deal?

Who are you?

I guess you could say
I'm a show-biz guy.

Whose idea was this,
the whole thing?

Who came up with this?

Let's just say I
found a lump of coal

and turned it into a diamond.

So you're the director.

You're the producer.

Are you the choreographer?

D, all of the above.

- No sh*t!
- Yep.

So I'm guessing you
must have the authority

to make certain
hiring decisions?

You know, I had a feeling
this wasn't just a d*ck-suck.

This place and me,
here, this is fate.

I-I-I...

I need to work here.
- Oh.

You need me to be working here.

- Is that so?
- Yes, it is, Nick de Noia.

And pray tell, Denise Coughlan,

exactly what services
would you be providing?

Um... well, sh*t.

I can wrangle these strippers.

I can fetch coffee.

I mean, I'm... I'm a
vision facilitator.

- Oh.
- A costume designer.

Especially costume designer.
- You're a costume designer?

Yeah, I'm a
receptionist by trade,

but I... fashion's my passion.

- You don't say?
- Yes.

I custom stud.

I appliqué jackets, capes.

I even had my own clothing line,

um, for a while.

- Your own line?
- Yeah.

I'm a f*cking magician
with a sewing machine.

I could make the craziest
sh*t for this place,

which you could use.

Oh, really?

And what's that
supposed to mean?

Oh... I mean, uh...

the costumes are, hmm...

- Excuse me?
- They're the weak link.

- Really?
- They're just so... generic.

It's expensive sh*t.

It's expensive sh*t.

It's not innovative.

It's not original,
it's not unique.

You need that "wow" factor,
like the rest of the show.

Oh, that you can provide
with your stud g*n.

You leave me no choice.

Yum. Let me borrow you.

Looking good, Richie.

Ooh, Richie! Fancy.

I can't tell you how many times
I've had a stripper in my face

and I couldn't
get his pants off,

because the problem is you can't
get them off over his shoes.

It's a major pain in the a*s.

Not to mention, as a
performance aspect,

it's not very slick,
it's not sexy.

You're fumbling around.

But fortunately I came
up with a solution.

Presenting...

Whoo!

Breakaway pants.

Hey-oh!

Those should be the mugs?

Oh, no, these are the T-shirts.
I think those are the mugs.

We are hiring this woman.

Hi. Denise Coughlan.

Medical receptionist,
FIT dropout.

She's a costume designer
and stone-cold genius.

f*cking breakaway pants.

Game changer.

I'm sorry, I can't add
another salary to payroll.

We need her, I need her.

The answer is no.

So let me get this straight.

You steal my best dancer...
- I did not steal anybody.

Bring her on or I walk.

Is that a threat?

It's a promise.

We should hire her.

Costumes, alterations, cleaning.

We outsource all of that.

If we had someone in house,

that would probably save us...

a fortune in the long run.

Besides, it would be nice
to have another girl around.

- Hmm.
- Well...

what do you say, Steve?

Only because it makes
financial sense.

Ah! Only because it makes...

This is the best decision
you've ever made.

I'm not gonna let
you down... sir!

Sister!
- Oh!

Oh...

This is it.

This is the team.

Oh, you know, these
are really beautiful.

Thank you.

♪ Crawling ♪

♪ Over your window, you
think I'm confused ♪

♪ I'm waiting for
the divergent wasp ♪

♪ To complete my current ruse ♪

♪ You use a plate-glass screen ♪

♪ To protect my chosen target ♪

♪ But there's an
air-pellet hole ♪

♪ I can crawl through to you ♪

♪ I am the fly in the ointment ♪

♪ I can spread more
disease than the fleas ♪

♪ Which nibble away at
your window display ♪

♪ Yes, I am the fly
in the ointment ♪

♪ I shake you down
to say please ♪

♪ As you accept the
next dose of disease ♪

♪ I am the fly, I am
the fly, I am the fly ♪

♪ I am the fly, fly
in the, fly in the ♪

♪ Fly in the ointment ♪

♪ I am the fly,
I am the fly... ♪

We begin... with a pulse.

There is no getting
through to that man.

He's crazy.

I'm sorry you feel that way.

The only thing that makes this place
special is what we bring to it.

We should quit. We should
start our own place.

We're opening a
Chippendales in New York.

- Excuse me?
- And I'm gonna run it.

The way I see it,
you've got two choices.

You and me stick together and
take the Big Apple by storm!

Or... you and me go to w*r.

I want you to repeat after me:

"Things are going
incredibly well."

Things are going
incredibly well.

"Business is booming."
- Business is booming.

You cannot launch a
competing Chippendales tour!

But, Nick, I just did.

"My company was just featured
on national television."

Mr. Chippendales
himself, Nick De Noia!

My company was just featured
on national television.

And I'm not gonna blow it
on some silly little slight.

Say it.

We're being sued for racially
discriminatory practices.

In business, there's only
one color that matters.

Heavy is the head that
wears the crown, right?

Gotta keep 'em in line, or
they're gonna walk all over you.

- I could k*ll him.
- Not if I beat you to it.

I am the owner,
president, and CEO

of Chippendales Enterprises
Incorporated, I am!

Everybody is trying to profit
off what I built, my hard work.

You are a good person!

We don't do things like this.

I am the boss! This is my club!

And you are my employee!

Is that clear?

May I ask why the
FBI is involved?