02x04 - Episode 4

[bunniefuu]

Oh!

Ah Urgh!

Stop w*nk*ng!

Just because she wants to see

you in her office doesn't mean

she's going to strip you of

that badge. Yes, it does, bro.

Her taking this off me just opens

the door for her getting rid of me.

It'll work itself out.

Hi, Lord Thornfield. Mr Pennington.

Miss Cavendish-Dunn. Mr Alcott.

I'm looking forward to meeting

you at tomorrow's board event.

Best wi

Sincerely, Jaheim Marsham.

Mm, mm, mm

Tasty, tasty, tasty

Mm, mm, mm

Tasty, tasty, ah

Mm, mm, mm

Tasty, tasty, tasty

Mm, mm, mm

You wanna face me, come get it

Nutter butter, crunchy

Sweet, sweet, sweet

Move from your brain

to your feet, feet, feet

Move from your brain

to your feet, feet, feet

Nutter butter, crunchy

Sweet, sweet, sweet

Move from your brain

to your feet, feet, feet

Move from your brain,

brain, brain to your feet. ♪

THEY EXCLAIM

Can't lie, when I joined ALGE'bros

I thought it was going to be dry,

but it's a likkle litty, still.

ALGE'bros is so my happy place.

Leah. Hey. Hey. Where

were you for ACS?

Sorry, guys, I was

a little busy today.

Busy doing what?

Oh. Oh. Since when?

Since I realised they existed.

Leah, you've never talked

about algebra in your life.

Really? I feel like I talk

about it a lot, sometimes.

There's nothing for me

to do in ACS anyway.

OK, well, we'll

see you at lunch?

Sorry, give me

one second. Abby.

Abby. What? You can't hear

me bawling out your name?

Yes, but I thought covering my

face and breaking into a light jog

would let you know that I don't

want to be seen dead with you.

Why not? It's social suicide.

Not just for you, but

anyone seen talking to you.

So

..goodbye.

Well, I really want to

be part of a society.

Ah! How many

societies do you need?

Well, ACS don't need me no

more, and Mabel doesn't, so.

Wow. Devonye really

did a number on you.

We're not going to start

with that whole narrative.

I know girls like Devonye.

Trust me, she was the

one who stole your book.

Don't say you left it

in the rah'sclart woods.

Listen, you're talking trash

and until you come to me

with proper proof, this

conversation is done. OK.

What's that? Skeleton key.

Perks of when I was a

headmaster's daughter.

I say we go in there

and try and find it.

Abby, I love you, but seriously,

you have lost your mind.

You're scared of

what you might find.

Cos you know it will be there.

Crazy b*tches always keep

mementos of b*tches they felled.

You know what, I don't even

know why I'm indulging in this.

It's a no. I will be in her

room before the day is out,

whether you're with me or not.

Abby! Abiola!

Oh, my days.

KNOCKING

Come in.

You wanted to see me?

Take a seat.

Seems someone's been very

active on their computer.

I heard about your

event with the board.

I know you want to

stay here permanently.

I just thought that the

attendance of your Head Boy

and recommendation would

strengthen your bid.

That is if I am still

attending it as your Head Boy.

Hmm.

We'll be hosting the board

in the pavilion, 5pm.

This is incredibly

important, Mr Marsham.

It will determine

whether I stay or go.

And in turn, whether

you stay or go.

Do not screw with me

and I'll let you keep hold of that

pin for just a little bit longer.

Yes, Mistress.

How's that MI

application going?

Don't think this summer's

the best time for me to go.

Massachusetts is

lovely in the summer.

Deadline midnight.

You'll love summer school.

Hello? Can anybody help me?

I really need a wee-wee.

Hello? Who-who-who's that?

Thanks. You need to hurry up

and put something on the wall.

Is that what it's about?

Obviously. What's

taking you so long?

I will, it's just I haven't

found any secrets yet.

It's a boarding school,

there's secrets everywhere.

Get your head out of your

comic books and look up.

Why are you helping me?

Because I, um

I-I th I think you're

RATTLING

This was a warning.

If your contribution is not

there by this time tomorrow,

things will get worse.

Last time, they

broke a kid's leg.

Hey.

Hey, so, birthday

plans? I need some.

I thought Rupert was

taking you to dinner.

He is. He's desperate to

get me in a room alone.

Are you in danger?

He's just too much

at the moment.

I have the ick.

BOTH: Ick.

Is there anyone else?

Why would you think that?

I don't know, just asking.

You need to end it,

Florence. Like, officially.

It's not that simple.

Wow. Oh, my gosh.

Birthday present from Carol.

Oh, my God. Oh, wow.

I'm not in a couple, I'm

in a bloody throuple,

and I'm screwed if

I try and leave it.

Please can you turn a me-and-him

thing into a group thing?

I'll have a think.

I will also have a think.

Or you could put your petty

grievances aside and think together.

It is the most important day

of the year, my birthday!

What's the mandem telling me?

Abby invited me to

Florence's b-day ting.

Oh? Are you rolling?

I can't. I got work

to catch up on.

You? Behind on work?

I've got this, like,

surprise practical.

How are you feeling

all guilty about Abby

and now you're extending

invites to parties? No, no, no.

Nothing to feel

guilty about, mate.

Unknown T's a no.

His rider was too expensive.

Look, bruddah asked

for a hot tub.

Hot tub, six magnum

bottles of Cristal.

I don't even know what that is.

I bet he'll want, er, lobsters

with his 20-strong entourage.

This sh*t's expensive,

right? Wait, hold on.

Are you making up his rider?

Wow, got Sherlock Holmes

here in the building.

Carol had to cut the budget

for the Spring Ball, so

You really have no shame.

Yelena. These numbers are

..insane.

Coming to this

party or what, bruv?

No, I've got this

thing with Carol.

Oh, yeah? Nice to see you

getting yourself back out there

after Beatrix. It's with

the board, you idiot.

Uh, why are you

bigging up Carol?

I'm not going to big up

Carol, I'm bigging up myself.

She's coming for me.

If I get the board on the side,

then less likely to kick me out,

aren't they? Well, you can big

up the rest of us as well, then.

Could do that, you know.

When did a 'me' thing

become a 'we' thing now?

I already tried to get rid

of Carol for all of us.

Now you, you have the

chance to save us all.

You could tell the board that

she's trying to get rid of us.

I mean, I don't know.

I'd do it for you, though.

Yeah, funny you want me to

risk it all at this event

and you get to go party, so what?

What, there's a party? Yeah, yeah!

What? Yeah, yeah, I know that

I'm not invited, but I'm coming.

All right, hear what I'm saying.

There's a saying.

"Heavy is the head

that wears the crown."

Know what I'm trying to say?

OK, so I did Google it,

and apparently open auditions

for EastEnders isn't a thing,

which is so dumb, so I thought

we'd just go to the producers,

we'd go to that studio, and we'd

demand an audition for you, Femi.

I think we'll get it, we will,

I mean I have a cousin in

Oluwafemi Adewale

Temidayo Gbolahan Adebayo!

Hi, Uncle. Time to go.

What, what, what now?

I thought you would at least

let me see the term out.

Well, you thought wrong, donkey.

Maybe we should talk

about what happened.

It was a hockey game.

It turned out how it turned out.

No love lost.

No, but Abs, it

..shouldn't have

gone down like that.

I am sorry.

Maybe your dad will come back.

I don't think he will.

He's extended his trip.

I told him to.

He's actually really happy.

Urgh.

We could always rob

one of the Year 7s.

I mean, 50K a year to

them's like pocket money.

Rupert, hey.

We were wondering what you had

planned for Florence's birthday.

Why do you need to know?

We're her best friends, Rupert.

We know what she likes

and what she hates.

And we know what she's

like when she hates.

I'm taking her to La Maison

Claire. Again?! Again?!

Yes, she loves the food there.

I just think she wants to do

something with her friends.

You guys can just do

something with her afterwards.

OK, but don't bring her back to

us crying as we are not mopping

up her tears because you

thought 250 a head was fancy.

Oh, wait.

What's your thing, then?

Just get her ready for five o'clock,

and then leave the rest to us.

What? Your card. Jesus Christ.

We need to buy things, Rupert.

We're literally doing

this on your behalf!

I've, I've bought her something.

It's different, it's, uh,

it's not too expensive.

I, it's nice, I think

Look, it's touching.

Can I, can I just

run it by you first?

We need your card to sort out

all of your f*ck ups. Oh, my God.

We are literally snowed

under as it is. OK.

You know, there's probably

enough money on this card to pay

for both our school fees.

Wait. But will he notice that

much money gone from his account?

Joking!

Oh, my God, you

would totally do it!

Hello, hello, hello.

Where you dey go? That was

the last of your things.

I'm just going to

say bye to everyone.

Kini? Are you married

to these people? Eh?

You've only known them for

five minutes, they'll survive.

Uncle, please, just

Before I lick your shins,

you are done in this place.

Stop playing games,

get in the car.

Frog. Your head

shaped like a frog.

KNOCKING

Come in.

I just saw Femi leaving.

I know. Very sad.

It is. He was excelling

and now he's going home.

Unfortunately, I can't

force people to stay.

But trying to bribe people could

potentially make them leave.

I thought we'd cleared this up.

I'm not sure what you think you

heard, but I'd be very careful

about throwing accusations

around without proof.

Understood.

Was there anything else?

No.

Not for now.

IN HEAD: Get your head out of

your comic books and look up.

It's a boarding school,

there's secrets everywhere.

The party's being

thrown by the FAB girls,

so you know it's going to be

f*cking messy. It always is.

Hey. Hey. I was really hoping we

could talk about how we left things

the other day Yeah, um, maybe

later, I've got a party to get to.

I was thinking now.

See you later.

You check the drawers,

I'll check the wardrobe.

It's not there, let's go.

It'll only take twice as long if

I have to do it all by myself.

Mm, no.

Everything must be

exactly how you found it.

Abby, how many times

have you done this?

Oh, my days.

OK, so it's not here.

I'm not saying I'm

wrong, but I may have

..jumped to conclusions.

Who do you think this is?

I don't know. Her sister?

Bro, why would you hide a

picture of you and your sister

in the back of a cupboard?

It'd make no sense. Maybe

Maybe she hates her,

but her parents made her

bring a picture of her anyway.

Look how she's gripping

on her. That's romance.

Mm, yes. Wait

What? Look.

CHIMING

Bro, that's her. Bro, that

Mm.

Hello? Why would you answer it?

I want to know who she

is. Oh, my days. OK?

Dev?

Hello? Hello.

Dev.

It's cool, it's cool, it's cool,

it's cool, it's cool, it's cool,

it's calm, it's calm. Dev, are

you there? Just Oh, my God, go.

Go!

I can't believe you got me into

this mess, Abby. Oh, my days.

Well, at least we know she

didn't steal your book.

Yeah, but I have stolen

her fricking laptop!

Keep your voice down!

PHONE BUZZES

Oh! OK, I've got to sort out some

last-minute party stuff, but

Abby!

Wait for the corridor to clear,

sneak back in and put

the laptop back, OK?

Here, meet me by

the cars. Mwah.

Bye.

Oh, for the love of God.

KNOCKING

Wait there!

Come in.

Ah.

It won't be the entire board,

just the important ones.

I can't wait to meet

the important ones.

Remember, you are

attending for me.

Everything you say will

be for the benefit of me.

Stray from that, there

will be consequences.

Easy enough.

Gus, thank you for coming.

My pleasure.

Why are you here?

Carol asked me to come.

She told me about you

hacking her diary,

not turning up for the showcase.

What are you planning

to do in there?

Why do you always

think the worst of me?

Watch my make-up, watch my

make-up! OK, are you ready?

Yeah! I smell Claridge's!

SHE SCREAMS

Oh, bumper cars.

Yes. You girls know me so well.

Oh, babe!

Wait, this is what you used my

card for? Oh, my God, Rupert,

we will pay you

back when we can!

When are you going

to pay me back?

So tight right now.

Hey, fun, tacky but fun.

Bottoms up, OK.

Oh, wait. Do you think that we

can drink and drive on these?

We love fast cars!

Sure they'll be here any minute.

PHONE BUZZES

Um, do I have time to go

to the bathroom, please?

Be quick.

Thank you.

Hello.

Hey.

Yeah, I was just wanting

to call to say that

I wouldn't make it to your

parents' evening, but

Nah, it's cool. Mum's

going to come with me.

Afterwards, I'm going to spend

a few nights at Mum's house.

Do that every week or something.

Grandma said to

see how I get on.

Didn't want you finding

out from anyone else.

Do you, uh, do you think

that's a good idea?

Uh, yeah.

OK.

I just don't want you getting

attached and then she leaves again.

I'm just calling to

let you know, innit.

All right, bye.

They're here. Make

sure you stay in line.

Head Boy, good grades.

Why do you keep riding me?

Because you don't tell me

what's going on, Jaheim.

All the information I get

about you is through Carol.

Yeah, did Carol tell you

that she's been trying

to kick us out this whole time?

Hmm? Has she told you that

she keeps on riding us

since we've been here

just because we exist?

Yeah, you got us this

scholarship, thank you,

but, I mean, you ain't

been here. I have.

So, I'm going to tell

the board about Carol.

That's what this is all about.

I go in there, I schmooze some old

people, get them on side, job done.

OK, the board aren't

on your side, Jaheim.

You're not going to be

turning anyone against Carol,

so if that's your intention, you

might as well go home right now.

Yeah, well, if I don't go in

there, then I let those guys down

and I let Caleb down, even though

he doesn't need me any more.

I get that, but you're going

to feel uncomfortable as hell.

They're going to be prodding

you for your sad little stories

to make them feel

good about themselves.

It's not worth it,

and Carol will win.

Yeah, but Carol

Leave it with me.

I'm the grown-up,

you're the kid.

Go be one.

Are my strapping

young men ready to go?

Coming!

WHISPERS: God, I

hate that woman.

HORNS BLARE

Taking forever.

Oya! Come on!

Going to be late.

My friend, take your long

dangling dry lips off the floor.

Do you know how many children

would die for an education

you're about to

receive back home?

You are even lucky they have a

space for you to start on Monday.

Monday?! Your father said your

uniform arrived today even.

You can try it on

when we land tonight.

Aya! Come on!

Tonight? Oya, move, move,

move, move, move, move.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Are we going to the airport now?

Where did you think we was

going, eh? Eh? Disneyland?

Donkey, let him go!

Sloth, move your car!

Look at this donkey! Femi! Femi!

What are you doing?

Uncle, I'm sorry. I

can't do this right now.

I can't. Femi! You better come

back here now! I'm sorry, Uncle.

If I start running now

My boy! Hey! Femi!

Come back here now! Femi!

You must stop this nonsense now!

When I get my hands on you I am

going to deal with you well, well.

Come here, frog.

What is this wizardry? Femi!

Femi! Femi!

Is this what they are

teaching in your school, eh?

Running around like a pig?

I don't want to go back.

Everything I know is here.

Please don't make me.

Yay God-o. Yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah. Uncle.

God, yeah, this boy

will k*ll me today.

Are you all right?

Ode ni e, do I look

all right to you?

Yeh, no, don't touch me, jare.

I'm going to call the ambulance.

No, no, no, no, no. Don't do that.

Don't do that. Just, just,

just help me up back to the car

before we miss your flight.

Oh! Uncle! Why can't you

just let me stay here?

Because you are failing!

The only reason I'm failing

is because I'm doing a subject

that my dad chose for me.

I'm not going to do any better

when I go to another country.

So, what needs to change? Because

these grades cannot continue.

Ask my dad to let me change

to a subject that I'm good at.

Like what?

Like drama?

Jesus Christ. Jesu ba mi

s e! On the mountain

Uncle, I am really good

at drama. You saw me.

He will say you end up

being a clown for a living,

while your friends are

running the country.

A school like mine,

it's about who you know.

The connections.

It's not only about the grades.

If I don't get good grades, I

I don't get to stay, anyway.

So, you have to let me try.

I will talk to your father.

So, you're going to let me stay?

But you have one term

to turn this around.

Ah!

Ay-ay-ay-ay-ay, don't, don't

touch me, donkey! Help me up.

Hey. What's happening, bro?

What you doing here?

Ting done already?

Yeah. Yeah? Uh-huh.

How'd it go? Are we saved?

I didn't go.

So, not only are you not saved,

but I'm probably gone as well.

Brother, why?

I wanted to party, innit?

This guy.

In fact, I've got some

business to attend to.

Catch you later.

Happy birthday.

I thought you couldn't make it!

Yeah? Well, I changed my plans

cos I'm such a great friend.

Right!

So, where's my birthday gift?

I am the gift.

My presence is a present.

Is that Shakespeare? Yeah.

Yeah. This can be

my birthday gift.

Never seen you drink.

What is it? Voddy.

Voddy for the body.

OK.

Yum!

Woo!

MUSIC: Bon Bon by Fcukers

Where the hell is Jaheim? Oh, uh,

he said he wasn't feeling well.

Oh, bullshit!

He is trying to screw me over.

Everyone's expecting

to meet him.

Making me look like a fool.

You fix this, Gus, or I'm

bringing him down with me.

Is this Jaheim having fun?

Are you surprised?

I just always thought

you were quite serious.

I thought you couldn't make it?

Well, uh, were you asking

for me or something?

No, no, I was not.

OK. Do you want a shot?

Oh, no, no, I'm OK.

Alex is getting me one.

Are you and Alex, like?

OK, why?

Just making small talk.

All right. Sounds a lot

like you wanted to ask

if I was dating somebody, but

you would never just go right out

and ask me. No, no, no,

that would ruin the cool.

So, you think I'm cool?

Jaheim, I just never

really got the impression

that you liked me very much,

so Really? Really. Yeah.

OK, well, I'm sorry I didn't

make you feel that way.

Cos I do. Well, did actually.

But that doesn't

matter any more.

Hey, babes. You ready? Ah, yeah.

How you doing, mate? You good?

Good, you? Yeah,

man. Good, good.

I'm going to go

over there. Yeah.

Just going to go

..do my thing.

Yeah, see you soon, yeah?

Yeah.

See you later. Yeah, see ya.

All right.

Yelena

I, uh, did you, uh,

did you get a chance to look

at those numbers I sent you?

Mm-hm. For Unknown

T? I did. Yeah.

Shame, right? Breddah's

going to brok the bank.

Might have to get Felix to enquire

about that skinny jean band

after all. The numbers are fine.

I'll pay from my own pocket.

Oh, really? It is

double his fee.

I don't care.

To have him cancel

now is social suicide.

Right.

Nah, I completely understand.

Yes! What are you

both talking about?

Um, Spring ba*ls.

Mm. It's going to be epic.

Right, Toby? Right.

I actually can't wait.

It was insane last year.

Mm.

What, who performed

last year, again?

Oh, no, not cos of the act.

We all took molly, and it

became absolutely crazy.

Mm-hm. How crazy?

Oh, let me show you.

Um

Ah, OK.

Is This is just

on your socials?

Yeah. I've never been

so hungover in my life.

This is my private account.

Mm, so hot.

Oh, that's what you wore?

Nothing on what I'm

wearing this year.

You should come round

tonight, and I'll show you.

Abby!

I think Carol needs to see this.

Toby, come on! Oh,

my God, look at this!

IN HEAD: It's a boarding school,

there's secrets everywhere.

Hey, roller-coaster that

way, now! Come now, come.

I ain't taking no Don't make

me whack you with that c*ck.

Can I get some attention

from the birthday girl?

You never see him like this.

Why are we always

going on about Jaheim?

Well, no, I'm just

happy for him.

It's just nice to see

him being so playful.

I got you something.

It's a big box for the

Tiffany earrings I asked for.

I bought the earrings as well.

This is something else.

OK.

I think you'll like it.

Is this Mummy's work?

This is me.

Do you like it?

It's got all the

You know, we went

to the gig and

It's funny, right? It's good.

The earrings are back at mine.

I've got those, this is just

I thought you'd like this.

Cool, um, I didn't

know you kept them.

Yeah.

Bit out of character.

I was expecting a

little bit more.

Thank, thank you.

Thanks. You know, just

I was expecting a bit more.

Come on Florence, let's go.

I didn't know there was

a way to accept gifts.

Thank you.

I thought it was nice.

Oh, f*ck off.

f*ck off, go and

draw or something.

Boo!

Aargh! f*ck.

You OK?

Yeah. LAUGHS WEAKLY

Oh. Just enjoying the view.

Between your legs? Yep.

So, you've been enjoying

your birthday, then? Yeah.

It's been all right.

What, did Rupert not

get you the right pony?

No.

I wish it was that.

Well, listen, I'm no

relationship guru,

but it seems like you're

a little bit checked out.

I sort of miss the Rupert

that was a bit of a prick.

This

..chocolate-and-picture-frame

Rupert is a bit annoying.

So, why don't you just dump him?

I'm not just dating Rupert.

I am dating the

Watlington-Geese family.

Oh, I see, I see.

One must not just

dump one's partner,

one must consult one's

whole entire family.

One's, one's, one's.

Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa. Yes.

The whole Head Girl,

A-star, hockey thing

is all towards

something, Jaheim.

I've worked too hard to

just chuck it all away

because of a shitty

relationship.

So, if I have to play the dutiful

girlfriend to get a glowing

reference from Carol,

then so be it. Yeah.

But, um, well, if it

makes you feel any better,

I've pretty much gone and

f*cked up my whole future, so

Is this why we're getting

the reckless Jaheim?

I wouldn't really call him that.

Maybe just, um

..a little less

overthinking Jaheim.

What about Beatrix?

That's dead.

There is no me and

Beatrix any more.

Ask her. She's with Alex.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to me.

Florence! Florence,

where are you?

sh*t.

Florence wait, Florence, hey.

Wait, wait, wait.

Um, thank you for

the amazing party.

It's OK.

See you later.

Bye.

You forgot your sh*t.

Want to come back to mine?

I'm really tired, but

I'll see you tomorrow.

Thank you for a fab birthday.

Femi, what are you

doing back here?

I'm sorry for coming to your

house, but I wanted to tell you

Yeah, this is where

you tell me, Femi.

My uncle's going to let me stay.

Ah, that's great.

Yeah, I convinced him to let

me change my course to drama.

Uh, but can you

help me with that?

You know, talk to Carol?

Yeah, of course.

Thank you.

But am I good? Like,

you're not messing with me?

You're good, Femi.

Like, this isn't some

diversity thing for you.

Because if this doesn't

work, I am done.

My family don't play games, and

I can't be embarrassing myself.

I can't just magic

it out of nothing.

It's down to you.

Do you think you can do it?

Y-yeah.

I'm sorry, I can't hear you.

Yes.

I'm so f*cking proud of you!

You worked so hard.

Right, I'll see you

in class tomorrow.

See you. Go on.

Night.

Ah, that was such a fun party.

What the f*ck happened to you?

Have you been here

this whole time?

Why haven't you taken

back her laptop?

I was going to.

But hear me out.

You said you wanted to know

who this Megan girl is.

I know. It's her girlfriend.

How have we gone from

looking for your stolen book

to you stealing her laptop?

Are you the crazy one?

No, she still could

have stolen the book.

I'm saying that if she's lying

about having a girlfriend,

it means she could be

lying about the book.

This is evidence.

Evidence. Exactly.

She's going to know

you were in her room.

Oh, my God, don't steal

from the crime scene, Leah!

Oh, I'm sorry I don't

know the ins and outs

of breaking and entering, Abby.

I just need to tell Mabel.

Tell her what?

That you stole her

girlfriend's laptop

and went through her personal

sh*t like a psychopath?

Take it back. Take it back.

Don't say a word and pray to

God that no-one finds out.

Hey, Leah. Hi.

I didn't misplace it.

I left it right here.

And look, someone's been

going through my stuff.

I mean, who would steal

my laptop from me?

I'm really nice.

Yeah, like, the

nicest person I know.

You look burst.

How you feeling?

I jammed, man, why

did I drink so much?

You had fun, though. Urrgh!

Looking like you're pushing out

some demons or something, bro.

Mm, something like that.

What you doing? What's that?

A likkle love letter to Carol trying

to get your Head Boy spot back?

No, I don't care about that.

This is, um, a summer school

application for MIT in the States.

Yeah, I was pushing it back before

cos I thought I'd want to be here

for Caleb, but he don't

need me any more, so

Yeah, this is the only

thing I wanted for myself.

That's hard, fam.

Well, I need a

recommendation from Carol.

I'm drunk and it was due

at, like, midnight, so

Yeah, it's over.

It's calm, though.

It's not midnight

in Massachusetts.

Which is why I am

delighted to write this

letter of recommendation for

our Head Boy, Jaheim Marsham.

Delighted?

Delighted sounds too frilly,

you know what I mean?

Kind of makes you

sound like a

Like a white woman,

which is what Carol is.

Just let me write the damn ting.

Come wake me out of my bed say

I can't use the word delighted.

Char. Peace.

Big O, how are you getting on?

Good. It's just, morally

I feel kind of

Bro, this is the last of

the headed paper we've got.

So, don't f*ck it up.

You lot really love me, innit?

BEEPING Oh!

What now?

Femzino.

Still clear, oga.

Done. Lovely.

You're up. Ah!

Make sure when you send it from

Carol's account, delete that email.

Tick tock, tick tock.

Done.

I love you guys.

Oh, what did he say? I

said, I love you guys.

I can't lie, that's a Y.

Who's there? Hello?

Hello! Who's that?!

Till we have built Jerusalem

In England's green

and pleasant land. ♪

Be seated.

I have some great news

to announce this morning.

It has been confirmed that

Master Ashford will

not be returning.

And as of yesterday,

I have been officially

appointed to lead St Gilbert's.

This morning marks my first

assembly as your headmistress

on permanent tenure.

First order of business.

My attention has recently been

brought to the debauched affairs

that took place at last

year's Spring Ball.

So

What the f*ck?

..I have decided to

cancel the event.

Such

MURMERS OF

DISAPPROVAL Thank you.

Such behaviour is not welcome,

and definitely not

encouraged at St Gilbert's.

KNOCKING

Come in.

You let me down.

A lot of important people

were expecting you.

Gus covered for

you, but I won't.

It's been an honour.

Mum, I don't want

to be Head Boy.

It is a privilege.

For who? Literally everyone who

works with you is miserable.

You know, the day I

was forced to step down

was the best day of my life.

You are Head Boy, Felix,

and you will like it.

Take that look off your

face, you're not five.

PHONE BUZZES

Someone's having a good day?

Something like that.

So good to see Femi's back.

I'm glad we bumped

into each other.

I think this writer-in-residence

position has run its course.

As headmistress, I have to

make difficult decisions.

I do hope you understand.

You'll have to leave

sooner rather than later.

Yeah, it'll probably be later.

By the way, I came to see you

earlier, but you weren't in.

But I was able to get

your shredder working.

Just give me a shout if you

need help with anything else.

Hey. You've been avoiding me.

I thought I'd come over

and, uh, we could talk.

Yeah, well, I kind of have to be

somewhere right now. Oh, I see.

Secret Raisinette Alliance.

Where's my sketchbook?

I came here to talk and you're

worried about a sketchbook.

I left it here this morning.

I come back and

Do you think I took it?

Well, it's got

Raisinette stuff in it.

And I know how much you wanted

to be in the Raisinettes.

You got in, I

didn't, sh*t happens.

Look, if you have it,

just give it back, please.

And then we can forget about

it, and we can move on.

Screw you, Omar, and

your little cult.

I'm glad that book is gone,

and I hope that whatever dirty

secrets are in there, come out.

SCREAMS