01x05 - Part 5: Hypocrisy

[bunniefuu]

It's like, whenever somebody comes

out and they're trashing somebody else,

I get it. You know, that

person's a piece of sh*t.

But, what about you?

Huh?

What are you doing?

Just going around

vetting people.

Let me ask you this.

Who's vetting the vetters?

[static]

sh*t only runs one f*cking way

with those social justice warriors.

They're sexist!

And they're intolerant.

What about Coco Chanel?

She's a feminist hero?

This f*cking chick liked clothes

more than she liked people.

No one's saying sh*t about her.

f*cking Nazis took

over her own country

and then, the second

she saw them showing up,

in their f*cking

Hugo Boss uniforms,

she was all down with them.

She was a n*zi sympathizer.

"Ooh, but does she

make a nice purse!"

[funky synth rock instrumental]

[grunting]

[crickets buzzing]

[sobbing]

[sniffling]

[engine rumbling]

[engine fading]

What the f*ck

are you doing here?

Come on, get out of the way,

you f*cking tree hugger.

[birds chirping]

[gasping]

I will not!

[chains jangling]

You pollute the atmosphere,

you cu-cut down trees

and, you know

the ozone-

Hey, that's really cool,

but one way or another,

we're coming through.

[birds chirping]

♪

[sighing]

[shovel clanging]

[panting]

[footsteps]

[sighing]

[ominous music]

♪

[news theme]

REPORTER: Chestnut Valley,

the center of a high profile standoff

between the expansion

of local infrastructure

and extremist environmentalists.

At the center of it

all, Clint Irwin.

Is it a crime to

care about the planet?

REPORTER: Clint says there's no

one more knowledgeable than him

on the topic of deforestation.

You know, who needs paper?

You know? Everything's online.

I think it's great.

He's standing up for

what he believes in.

I wish we had

more of that in this country.

You know, every tree

branch is like a cloud, someday,

because of oxygen

through [inhaling]

The bark.

REPORTER: When it comes

to protecting the environment,

I asked Clint, how far

is he willing to go?

As far as it takes,

if it means no one

will ever dig here.

REPORTER: Paula

Shaw, Action 9 News.

I wanna see

one of these white chicks

with the f*cking blond hair,

the fake blond hair,

I want to see you get vetted.

A 28-year-old gorgeous woman

f*cking a 70-year-old rich guy.

That's not a predator?

His whole body

looks like a f*cking ball bag?

That's your dream guy?

You know what she's doing, she's

feeding him bacon every morning,

trying to give him that last heart

attack so she can take his house.

[static]

KAREN: Oh God, there's someone

trespassing in our neighborhood.

There are kids out playing,

God knows what he's doing.

I'm filming you now,

how do you like it?

KAREN: Go ahead,

I'm not doing anything wrong.

So, where do you live?

Uh, this woman's been following

me for no goddamned reason.

- KAREN: Where do you live?

- I don't have to tell you!

KAREN: I am trying to keep

this neighborhood respectable.

I have a right to know

what you're doing here.

I'm walking.

KAREN: You know, I

could call the cops.

- What is your address?

- I'm literally just walking.

You can call the cops on me

literally just walking.

- KAREN: Yeah!

- r*cist, damn!

KAREN: Excuse me, I am not

r*cist, I work with Blacks everyday!

And I know you're not just

walking around, come on.

- Not just walking around?

I'm just not walk OK.

All right, stay away from me!

KAREN: What is your name?

- Actually, fine.

My name is Jerome Stevens.

I live, literally,

on this street!

We're probably neighbors.

Happy, now?

Good, OK, OK, uh, uh,

I have your name,

so watch your behavior,

and I have it on video,

so watch your behavior.

Go on now.

JEROME: Wait a sec, wait.

Wait, I recognize that voice.

No you don't! JEROME:

Wait, Principal Henderson?!

Oh sh*t! [Laughing] Wait , stop!

Principal Henderson, come back

out, come back around here,

I'm going to post this sh*t

all on Facebook, come on.

[Jerome laughing]

I knew it!

Take off that f*cking mask.

Take off the mask.

You heard me.

Oh my God!

- Give it to me.

JEROME: Wait, back up,

- back, back up!

- Give me that phone!

JEROME: Hey, take one more

f*cking step and I swear to God,

I'll post this sh*t everywhere.

f*ck Facebook,

I'll send it straight to CNN.

Fine, what do you want?

JEROME: I want As for

the rest of the Goddamned year.

[birds chirping]

- [softly] OK.

JEROME: I can't hear you.

[throat clearing]

I couldn't couldn't hear that,

- could you say that again?

- OK?

[Jerome laughing] JEROME:

No, I need you to say it.

You will have As

for the rest of the year.

OK?

JEROME: Wait what, what's that?

Wait, you've been talking about keeping a

respectable neighborhood this whole time

and you have the dog that's been

sh1tting on everybody's lawn?

I didn't have a

bag today. I just

JEROME: Didn't, didn't have a

I need you to pick it up.

- No, I don't have a bag.

JEROME: I don't care

if you don't have a bag. I need

you to pick up after your dog.

I'm just trying to keep

this neighborhood respectable.

[sighing]

No.

JEROME: All right, well, I guess I'll just

have to send this sh*t to Facebook, CNN,

oh my God,

Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat

Oh, OK! JEROME: Your

career is over! Oh, my

Happy? JEROME: Oh, my gosh!

f*cking people.

JEROME: Oh, and for that sh*t,

now you've gotta eat it.

What?!

JEROME: You heard me, eat it.

I, uh, your career is over

if you don't eat it.

No, I'm not.

[huffing]

JEROME: OK, then, see ya.

KAREN: Wait!

JEROME: Oh, I knew it.

[footsteps]

I'm waiting.

[sighing]

Oh, my oh, my God, oh my God!

[retching] Oh, my God!

Thanks to everyone that tuned

into this Facebook Live.

I'm gonna go gargle with

mouthwash, oh, my God!

[static]