01x04 - Part 4: Parenthood

[bunniefuu]

So, parenthood, you know?

Very important job,

from what I've heard.

Not like I ever did it.

If I ever were to do it, I

wouldn't started it with that lie.

That's one of the

dumbest things ever.

You gotta build trust with your

kids and you start it off by telling them

there's a giant bunny that's

gonna bring chocolate eggs.

There's some fairy

that wants their teeth.

What kind of way is that

to start a relationship?

With three, four lies

right out the gate?

I remember that

when I was a kid,

my parents finally told me

there was no Santa Claus,

it's like, I f*cking knew it.

I've been asking

you since I was six.

There's Santa Claus,

and he's gonna bring you

your f*cking big wheel, right?

You're doing this great thing

for your kid.

While you're lying to them

at the same time,

and you know, eventually,

those two roads are gonna cross

and then

he's gonna become a teenager.

He ain't f*cking

listening to you.

Don't do meth. It's bad for you.

"Oh, yeah? What else are

you going to tell me?

There's some f*cking guy

coming down the chimney?

There's some giant bunny with

chocolate eggs, you as*h*le?

I'm not listening to you."

I think it's a conspiracy

by the government.

It drives a wedge

between you and your kids

and next thing you know, they

want to join the f*cking army.

[synth rock instrumental]

[distant footsteps]

[door creaking]

[ominous music]

♪

[floorboards creaking]

[woman groaning]

Sh. It's bedtime.

Please

Let me go.

[footsteps]

Sh.

♪

[footsteps]

[whimsical music]

♪

You know what? Parenting,

it's definitely a, you know,

it's not for everybody.

Your dad's just like,

"Hey, how was I as a father?"

You gotta be like, "You know,

you really weren't there, were you?"

Dad, you f*cking sucked.

OK? How many angry lunatic kids

do you have to have

before you look at yourself and

maybe you think you did something,

"Maybe I should've, you know

Brought so much tension."

I mean, you were good

at f*cking my mom and making me,

but you know, after that

you kinda dropped the ball.

It's probably

why he drank too much in life.

[crickets chirping]

[car engine stalling]

[car engine stuttering]

[tense music]

♪

Need any help?

All right.

Let's give it another shot.

[car engine rumbling]

[baby crying]

Uh, miss?

Are you sure

you really want to do this?

He deserves

to be with his family.

You're right. You're right.

[car door beeping]

[car whirring]

[babies crying]

[tires screeching]

Go, go!

[car whirring]