01x02 - Cheap Heat

[bunniefuu]

[man] One of the things that made

wrestling so good back in the day

was the narrating.

- Jim Ross.

- [Al] Yeah.

- [man 2] I loved how excited he'd be.

- [man] Then you'd feel it.

- [man 2] Exactly.

- [man] "My good God Almighty."

Then you feel like

something crazy just happened.

The Attitude Era, for me, with The Rock

and Stone Cold was the best.

They literally just did punches and kicks,

but they told a story.

- [Al] Mm-hmm.

- They didn't have to do anything.

- That's what's so much better.

- [Al] That's what I'm trying to teach you.

[Joe] You used to feel like it was real.

It was authentic. It was intense.

You'd get into it.

Whereas now you're watching

and it's really kind of corny,

and they're, like, really acting.

Think about it. When's the last time

that a match sold WrestleMania,

not WrestleMania sold WrestleMania?

- [Kal] Cena/Rock.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- It's been that long.

I'm not knocking them,

because they're making money.

- [Kal] Right.

- [Al] They got a hell of a house.

It's just, the problem is,

too many of these guys sell what they do

- [Joe] Not why they do it.

- [Al] Not why.

They're just doing physical move

to next physical move.

The objective for their TV program

is the same as our TV program,

which is to make everyone on it

appear as much like a star as possible,

and then it's up to the talent

to make themselves a star.

Even in spite of myself,

screwing up as much as I did,

um, I still used it

and made myself a draw, so

And if I can do it,

I know g*dd*mn well you guys can.

[announcer] Making his debut

in the World Wrestling Federation,

weighing 235 pounds, Avatar!

[Al] I was in WWF, and I was floundering.

And I floundered

because they were giving me a character

that wasn't an aspect of me,

and so it didn't really work.

This character was called Avatar,

where I put the mask on

and become like a Power Ranger superhero,

Mortal Kombat type of guy.

And then they put me with Marty Jannetty

and called us "The New Rockers"

and told me we were teen idols.

- You grooving with me, daddy-o?

- I'm grooving.

Hey, we're grooving now.

And, you know, I did it. But it died.

[commentator] Phineas,

double clothesline.

[Al] I was frustrated

and had a bad attitude.

At that time, I think

I'd been in the business 14 or 15 years.

And then I found a Styrofoam head.

[triumphant orchestral music plays]

[All] Literally, that day,

I'd read a book on abnormal psychology.

They'd done a case study

on a woman who had schizophrenia

with what they called

"transference disorder," meaning,

like, she heard voices from this pencil.

But she thought

the pencil was crazy, not her.

So, I thought, I'm gonna take

this Styrofoam head with me to the ring

and treat it as if it's a real person.

And I'm gonna think they're crazy, not me.

And it worked.

[crowd cheering]

[triumphant orchestral music playing]

[Al yelling]

[Al over VO] I thought

I was gonna be a heel.

It turned out the opposite.

Everybody loved it.

[crowd chanting] Head!

[Al over VO] It gave me an outlet

to where I was venting

a lot of frustration through the head.

And so it was real.

I'm not gonna let you beat me this time.

Uh-uh! Nope, nah, not this time.

[Al over VO] I'd travel by myself

with the head and go to a restaurant,

sit the head across the table from me,

and we'd talk.

I'd order two meals. I'd argue with them,

get mad they didn't eat their food.

There were times

I got kicked out of restaurants.

You believe 100% in me,

and that means

you'll believe in anything I do.

The last few weeks,

I've had a little problem

with an idiot named Al Snow.

He's carrying some plastic head around,

and he's talking to it.

[fans cheering]

[Al over VO] I had a eulogy

for a deer head on national TV.

[Al in footage] With his dying breath,

he said to me

[Al mimics deer whining]

[Al mimics deer choking]

I had hardcore matches with myself.

I wrestled the head. Nobody questioned it.

[commentator] Al Snow

is having a match with a mannequin head.

This has gotta be a first.

[Al over VO] I stopped trying to

just have a great wrestling match

and created an identifiable,

relatable character.

[growls] You're not gonna put my career

back in the pooper. No way, pal!

Not since I got Head

have I ever went backwards.

If you make the mistake

of thinking that fame equals success,

then you're an idiot.

Because they are not one and the same.

[crowd cheering]

I've had an amazing career

'cause I've been able

to make a living doing what I love

for as long as I've gotten to do it.

[commentator] Hooks the leg. There's two!

It's over! It's over!

Mankind and Al Snow!

And in that sense,

I've been incredibly successful.

- [crowd cheering]

- [triumphant music playing]

[music fades out]

[vehicle engines rumbling]

[Reverend] Let's go!

[thudding]

[loud thudding]

[man yells in pain]

- [Eric] That looks painful.

- [Reverend] Get over here!

Thank you!

[thudding]

- [man] Get him off the ropes!

- [groans]

He's out.

[wrestlers grunting]

[wrestler yelling]

[Haley] Go left. Hit him in his face.

Do something, anything.

Okay.

- [bodies thudding]

- [wrestlers yelling in the ring]

[yelling and thudding continues]

- Is it like this?

- [Eric] Yep.

- Do something.

- [Haley] Crap.

- What was that?

- I don't remember. I'm trying to tell you.

[wrestlers yelling in the ring]

- [Haley] I gotta hold on. [laughs]

- [Reverend] Go longer, a set.

[Eric over VO] We work,

wrestle, live together.

She's probably the coolest girl

I've met, to be honest,

or I wouldn't hang out with her so much.

You're just in a rush.

Gotta slow down.

[Eric over VO] We're really different,

but if you were the same, it'd be boring.

[Reverend] I wanna get

You, get in on this.

- [Haley] Me?

- This is you all day.

All day.

You all sell too easy.

I give you all a push,

and literally y'all be

- [Haley] That's me.

- [Reverend] That's not exaggeration.

Y'all selling too much. Keep it realistic.

Oh yeah.

Come on!

[Haley groans]

[Reverend] There we go.

That's looking better.

[Haley] I am 22. He is 36.

I like them grown, you know?

He's been in 25 years, so his goals

are a little bit different than mine.

Um, I'm still fresh and feel like

I have all the time in the world.

I can do a hammer lock, beotch.

I can't do the switchy thing.

- We can do it.

- I can, the most basic one, swervo.

Can't f*cking do it, can you?

Should learn how.

[Haley over VO] It can cause issues.

We always say it's not a competition,

but it feels like a competition sometimes.

Wrestling's new to her, and it's

real exciting to her, all the positives.

And I feel like she hasn't seen

how this ruins people's lives yet.

I've been around long enough to not only

have my life ruined a couple times,

but see what it's done to people.

You ain't got nothing? Didn't think so.

You got this one, kid?

[Eric over VO] When I started, I was 15.

But I had a different mentality then.

I wanted the fame,

the world, the money, and all that stuff,

which is where she's at.

It's better for me

that I didn't make it when I was younger

because I wouldn't

have been able to handle it.

So, am I upset

that she's having success? No.

But am I concerned that she's gonna

let it go to her head? Who wouldn't be?

- [crowd yelling]

- [Bryan] Oh no!

God, you believe that?

[interviewer] What was that like

to knock your mom out?

It was good.

She been beating me up for 22 years.

[crowd yelling in shock]

[commentator] She had it coming.

[Haley] If you watch the video back,

you see me do a circle,

and I took a deep breath.

I could feel all the

[growls]

I felt like freaking Hulkamania

or something. It's ridiculous.

- [fan whistling excitedly]

- [crowd cheering]

[Haley] Let's be honest,

I'm the most entertaining female at OVW.

Whether or not

I'm a bad guy or a good guy,

I'm entertaining,

and people just like to watch me.

[man] Two shows, going on three.

- [man 2] It should probably be a DQ.

- [man] What?

[Al] Trying to figure out Haley and Maria.

Because you guys did

such a good job on Thursday,

gotta strike while the iron's hot.

- [man] Yes, let's do that.

- Yeah, let's do that.

[interviewer] Who's responsible

for developing stories?

- That's your job?

- That's me.

I'll start putting

TV together a little bit.

And put Hal in there.

Every week, I've got to put together

a picture puzzle.

The challenge is to outdo

the week that you did before,

but logically progress the story.

Omar stands his ground,

but Amon, from behind, kaboozles him.

[Al over VO] Creatively, what I try to do

is go in four-to-six-week arcs,

ending in the pay-per-view event.

[man] Uh, Hal and Cash, Cash is over.

Yep.

There we go.

A pay-per-view match

is significant in a number of ways.

One, we have more marquee-type matches.

And also, you know, its pay-per-view.

So, hopefully, we've told

a good enough story

and generated enough heat through TV

that will motivate some people

to wanna buy the pay-per-view

and to watch these matches

and see the outcomes.

Every pay-per-view

I've been a part of, they've been raucous.

They are ready to cheer, boo, cry,

throw stuff, whatever it is they do.

Pay-per-view matches,

there's always more hype behind them.

There's always more hoopla.

It's the place

that we do all of our payoffs

- [man] All our storylines build to this.

- Our storylines build to this.

[interviewer] Haley.

How does her story develop?

[Al] I was gonna go one direction,

but Haley told me that she doesn't mind

She's gonna cut her hair.

She doesn't mind.

I said, if you cut your hair,

we have to go to a hair versus hair match.

- [interviewer] What is hair versus hair?

- Well, if you lose, you lose your hair.

I'm about to cut my hair off,

so if you want to

Okay. Then that's what we'll do.

[Al over VO] I ain't gonna shave her bald,

but you've got to cut hair

because if you don't cut hair,

people are going to be pissed,

will burn the town to the ground.

If you're willing to do it,

we'll sell a match,

especially if it's two girls, right?

- [Al] Hey.

- [man] Listen up.

We've got one week

to sell the pay-per-view.

So let's do everything we can

to get the word out as much as we can.

[Al over VO] It's about viewers.

That is solely the one

quantifiable measurement of success.

And that's how this business works.

We work off of what we draw.

If we're not drawing,

we ain't making money.

If we can get 500 or more people

around the world to watch it,

that's where the real money's at.

How much am I charging?

On pay-per-view, it's 14.99.

And I need

500 pay-per-view buys to make a profit.

If I get less than 500,

then I've got to sit down, re-evaluate,

and keep trying

to piece the puzzle together.

It's a challenge.

It comes down to, if you give

the audience what they wanna see,

then they'll probably pay to see it.

Hi there, fans. Ray Morgan welcoming you

with the best in professional wrestling.

It's no coincidence that wrestling

and TV sort of go hand-in-hand.

[announcer]

Welcome to Wrestling Challenge,

where we feature the superstars

of the World Wrestling Federation.

What live television does

is it presents it as a real sport.

We've got one whale of a tag team match

in the feature match.

And it also makes you sit there and wait