01x07 - New Management

[bunniefuu]

["Corillo" playing]

[Santi singing] Yo! ♪

Quien va a estar pa mi

Cuando ya no haya na ♪

Cuando me caiga

Quien me va a levantar ♪

Cuando todas las luces

Se apaguen en la ciudad ♪

Quien me va a llamar ♪

Soy mujer independiente ♪

Los hombres ya no me importan

Porque estoy en la mía real ♪

Que rico se siente ♪

Ya no me importa lo que diga la gente ♪

Todas mis nenas está

Bailando reggaeton ♪

A todos los

Que se copian de mi flow ♪

Tengo dinero, siempre me robo el show ♪

Todas mis nenas están

Bailando reggaeton ♪

Nalgas hacia el piso ♪

[in Spanish] What madness.

[in English] She changed the lyrics,

now the song doesn't make sense.

[Felix] Sounds like a bop to me.

Santi's saying, "Quien va a estar pa mi

cuando ya no haya na,

cuando me caiga, quien me va a levantar."

[in English] And she goes,

"Soy mujer independiente

ya los hombres no me importan."

I know. It's so empowering.

Santi's saying, "Who's gonna be there

for me when I have nothing?"

And she goes, "I'm an independent woman

and men are not my worry."

Who cares? It's fine.

She's literally saying

she'll screw him over.

What do you guys think?

Yo, that was sick.

You f*cking k*lled that.

- Thank you. Ness?

- [Ness chuckling]

- Honestly?

- Honestly.

Uh, I don't think that the song

is as powerful with Isa on the duet.

I see what's going on.

What?

You're upset that the song that I wrote

about you guys is now about Isa.

And, like, I get that.

But this is what's good for my career.

This is what's good for all of us.

Okay, no, that's not what I said at all.

What I'm saying is she changed the song

and now it is objectively worse.

I disagree.

But you know

what you can't disagree with me about?

Is that she's gonna make this song

number one in the f*cking country.

This is the most exposure I'm ever

gonna get for my music, for my brand

and this is exactly why we moved to Miami.

This new song is so dope.

The label wants to debut it

in my New Year's special,

"New Año, New You."

- Stop!

- [Isa laughing]

Stop, there's no paparazzi here, okay?

[both laughing] Okay.

Celeste will be here any minute

to do the Rolling Stone cover story

about your romance.

Great. Let her know the following topics

are completely off-limits,

my age, my stance on world hunger,

my whereabouts from January

to September 2018, and my age.

- Okay, cool. I'm not your publicist, so

- And I won't discuss product lawsuits.

The packaging for my face wash

and cooking oil had to be similar.

It's called brand unity.

- Mmm-hmm.

- [keys tapping]

Mention the Daddy Yankee party.

- It's a huge set piece of my doc.

- [Santi] Mmm.

So we're going to the Daddy Yankee party.

You mean Daddy Yankee's epic party

celebrating the 20th anniversary release

of "Gasolina"

presented by Buchanan's Whisky?

- Don't know if I could remember all that.

- I'm gonna need you to be way better.

[cell phone chimes]

Okay, that's Celeste.

Are Are you guys ready?

Yeah, after you, chulita.

Oh, my God, chulita is so cute.

I'm gonna start to use that.

No, you gotta say chulito

because it's masculine.

Forget it, it's too much work.

[Javier singing "Cuando Llego"]

A la hora que yo llego prendo el party ♪

Calentando to'as las calles

Through Miami ♪

El billete te lo traigo

En el maletero ♪

Que me mira y se te cae el jean ♪

A la hora que yo llego

prendo el party ♪

Calentando to'as las calles

Through Miami ♪

[reggaeton song playing]

There he is. The Boricua Houdini. [laughs]

You look familiar. I seen you somewhere.

Oh, you own those birds, right?

Uh, no, I don't I don't know who that is,

but I used to work over at BPM.

Oh, you give out those b*mb-a*s quesitos

in the meetings.

- I did. I did.

- What can I do for you, quesito lady?

It's actually Mia.

- Mia quesito.

- [laughs]

It's very cute, um, but I wanna tell you

what I can do for you.

I wanna rep you. As your manager.

I already have a music manager.

Yeah, sure.

But do you have a magic manager?

Nah. [laughs] For real?

If I'm being honest,

your music is magic, but your magic?

That's like music to me.

You haven't even seen my latest trick.

You wanna hear about it?

- Yeah.

- Tell me if you f*ck with it.

I pick somebody out of the audience.

- Uh-huh.

- I make them disappear,

but here's the twist,

I don't bring them back.

[laughing]

- You crazy. You a little crazy. [laughing]

- I knew it. I knew it.

Listen, this is the Javier

I want to represent.

The full you.

The musician and the magician.

The mugician.

Yeah, I can already see

the Vegas Residency.

"Javier Luna: The Sorcerer of Song."

Diablo.

See it?

- I'm down with that.

- Mmm. [laughs] Yeah.

- You going to that Daddy Yankee party?

- Yes.

See you there tomorrow then.

- [splutters] Of course. Of course. Okay.

- I'll see you there then.

- Tomorrow.

- I'll see you there.

- Okay.

- [laughing]

Tomorrow. All right.

- See you, quesito.

- Okay.

So, "Corillo" is a song about love

and that love is Is Isa's love.

- She's my little chulita.

- [chuckles]

Yeah, he's my little [splutters]

chuleta.

Your little pork chop?

- Yeah.

- [chuckles]

So, back to the music.

How are you feeling

about your live TV debut?

Well, I'm very excited,

but I don't take

any of this stuff lightly,

because not only it's the launch

of my music career,

but it's also the launch

of Isa's new sound, right?

- Yeah.

- [both laughing]

Speaking of her new sound,

Isa, I would I would love to hear more

about that sound.

And specifically your decision

to transition to the Latino market

after decades in pop. I mean, why now?

Well, to me,

reggaeton is about fully embracing

who you are culturally and creatively.

And for years, the industry

has tried to silence my voice.

And it was time

for me to take my voice back.

Wow, that's actually really beautiful.

Much like Ariel in The Little Mermaid,

who of course, I portrayed

in the 2012 Broadway production

up until the unfortunate accident

of the guy who played Flounder,

but it was legally not my fault,

so maybe, like, cut that out.

Um, how do you guys respond

to all of the allegations

that this entire relationship

is just a ploy to sell records?

- That'll be all for today.

- [Celeste] But

I'm getting an interview migraine.

But there was a lot more

that I'd like to cover

It was so good to see you, Molest.

It's Celeste, not Molest.

You have to know

that isn't anybody's name.

[Santi sighs]

- [Celeste] Okay.

- Gotta go.

I guess you do.

She's, um a lot. [chuckles]

Um, listen, thank you for the interview

and thank you for helping me get here.

No need to thank me.

You got here by yourself

and I'm really proud of you.

[Santi] Thank you.

Um

Catch you later?

Yeah, uh, have a good one.

[door opens]

[footsteps approaching]

You have a crush on the journalist?

What? No. No. I

I barely know who she is. She

She actually talked sh*t

on my first performance. She's

It's okay. We're all grown-ups.

But embarrass me?

And I will end you.

End you.

Like, dead.

["- Hate + Perreo" playing]

Guys, this is crazy.

- I'm about to meet Daddy f*cking Yankee!

- [Ness laughs]

DY!

Yeah, maybe he'll bless you.

Like, the pope of reggaeton.

Yeah, no, this is good 'cause I don't

want you to just be known for dating Isa.

Santi should be known for talent,

not TMZ, right?

[car approaching]

- [Ness sighs]

- ["Shining All Night" playing]

Oh. Oh, sorry.

There's no room because my outfit

is really tight and I can't sit up.

So, yeah. Door.

- Oh. Okay.

- [car door shuts]

Okay.

Maybe I'll just get an Uber or something?

["Panties y Brassieres" playing]

[camera shutters clicking]

Holy f*ck, this place

feels like reggaeton royalty.

It's like the Royal Wedding,

but if brown people were allowed.

I really wanna meet Daddy Yankee,

but I don't wanna bother him,

- but what if he leaves before I see him?

- You need to chill.

I am an empath

and I pick up on your energy, okay?

Hola! Hey!

["Ganas" playing]

[Felix] Ugh, everyone's so hot here.

I hope they have a bunch of backup hotties

at a second location

in case somebody bombs this one.

Like a Designated Survivor scenario.

Okay, if I can find Daddy Yankee

and get him to listen

to the original "Corillo"

and tell Santi that it is so much better

than this new one,

he has to believe him, right?

It's Daddy f*cking Yankee.

- Right.

- Right.

Well, good luck with that.

I got a real job.

["ID" playing]

Hey, I'm Mia Morris.

Morris. Morris. Morris. I don't see

Don't worry about it.

I have the confirmation email right here.

That's a pickup order

for The Container Store.

Yes, it is.

[Oscar] This guy's paid,

so it's all taken care of.

- Mia!

- Hey!

- Ooh, Mia.

- [Mia laughing]

This is so, um, weird.

Not at all. No, not at all.

Oh, this is, um, my new Mia.

Jenna. Yes. You made me set up her email

after you fired me.

Right, right.

So, listen, no hard feelings.

If you ever need a rec or a favor,

just let me know.

I won't mention any of the

The crazy sh*t you pulled. [laughs]

[laughs] I mean, you can always

get me into this party.

Oh, wow, you really took me up on that.

Nah, nah, I can't do that.

But, uh, good to see you. Have a good one.

Come on, Janice.

[Mia sighs]

- You can go ahead, ma'am.

- For real?

I feel bad for you.

That was really hard to watch.

Okay. You could have just said

I could go in.

You probably get this all the time,

but my client's not No, um

I imagine you get this a lot, but, uh

I imagine you get this a lot,

but I work in brand management

and it's actually an exciting time

in the male enhancement space.

Picture this, "When the mood strikes you,

why not throw some 'Gasolina'

on your fire?" [laughs] Right?

- Hey, hi.

- [woman laughs]

I'm sorry.

I'm sure DY is loving hearing your pitch.

I just need to borrow him

for a quick second

because he has a really important

phone call from Barack Obama.

- Oh. Wow.

- [Ness] Yeah.

So, uh, it might be a while,

but thank you so much. [laughs]

- Thank you.

- [Ness and Daddy Yankee laughing]

[Daddy Yankee] Wow.

[laughing] I'm so sorry. I, uh

Hi, I just thought, um

Don't worry. Thank you for saving me.

Thank you.

[laughs] Okay. Oh, my God.

I can't believe I'm meeting you. That's

You know, I don't mean to fangirl,

but my, uh, favorite memory with my abuela

was dancing to "Barrio Fino"

when it first dropped.

I mean, we had to wheel her around,

but you get it, you know.

I love stories like that.

Thank you, again.

You're welcome. Um, you know,

my friend Santi, he idolizes you.

And he's a reggaetonero

and you are the reason

that he wrote his song "Exagerao."

Yeah, of course.

Eduardo's ♪

Yeah. Oh, my God. You know who he is.

[in Spanish] He's going to go crazy.

[in English] I'm always looking out

for new talent. That's my job.

You know, uh, let me send you his latest.

He has He has so much and he has

this new banger with Jota Rosa.

Do you want to listen to it?

Because, um Oh, no.

Did I turn into that annoying girl

that I saved you from?

Don't worry. I'll listen to it.

And you know what? Bring him over as well.

Oh, my f*cking God. Okay, done.

You will not regret this, Daddy.

Oh, uh, Mr. Yankee.

Okay, I'm gonna go.

[laughs]

["Gasolina" playing]

[crowd cheering]

Hey, Felix.

- Hey.

- Come with me one sec.

Okay.

- How are you?

- I'm well. How are you?

Good, good, good.

I wanted to tell you

you're doing a good job on the doc.

It's so cute and artsy.

Oh, my God. That is actually a relief.

I thought you hated me

from how you look at me and talk to me.

So I was talking to my friend Lin

about the doc. Lin-Manuel Miranda.

- Do you know him?

- Oh, my God. Yeah.

He loved the idea of the doc.

Oh, my God, that's crazy. What a dream.

Yeah. So he's gonna be sh**ting it

from now on.

Oh, uh, well, I I love his work.

But a co-director,

I'd have to think about.

- But thank you.

- No. Not like co-director.

More like you're fired.

[laughs]

[Felix] Uh

Hey, Santi? Santi. Hey, uh, Isa's saying

some sh*t like I'm fired or something?

Sorry, bro,

but, I mean you understand? It's Lin.

I don't understand. Did you stand up

for me? Or what's going on?

Bro, I tried, but it's her doc, you know?

It's really not my place to be

Yeah, but this was my shot, and you

didn't put up a fight? Not one word?

- You're making a scene.

- Sorry.

You don't want me to embarrass you

in front of your friends?

These people f*cking suck.

Look at his hat.

This fight is so basic.

I get that you're mad,

but please don't be selfish.

Selfish? This whole Isa thing is

Don't f*cking touch me.

[Santi] What the f*ck?

What the f*ck with you?

Yo, what the f*ck is going on?

Nothing.

He's so embarrassing.

Felix!

[Mia] Hey, Javi.

- Oh, sh*t! [kisses]

- [laughing]

I'm so happy you made it. Thank you.

Listen, you told me to come, so I'm here.

You know, I was thinking

You really made me think about fusing

my two passions together the other day.

And nobody's ever made me feel like that.

Thank you.

Of course, man. Listen, that's because

this industry is doing you a disservice.

When you work with me,

you'll never have to worry about that.

I'm not no inside-the-box type rep, okay?

Unless you trying to put me in a box

and cut me in half.

- I'm here for you, man.

- [both laugh]

No, this fit is too good.

I want you to rep me,

but I want you to rep the real me.

Javier Luna: Magician-Musician.

Hell yeah.

- Yeah?

- Ugh, thank you, man.

- Let's do it.

- You have no idea, man.

I appreciate this.

I'm not gonna let you down.

Oh, sh*t. Hold on a second, Mia, Oscar.

Oh!

- There he is. My guy.

- Papi, papi, mira.

I want to present to you my new manager.

Oscar's my label rep.

Ya'll guys are gonna be working

a lot together.

Mia, Oscar. Oscar, Mia.

Hey, man. Pleasure to meet you.

Yeah, what the f*ck?

Oh, this guy. [laughs]

- I love this. Cheers.

- I see why you like him.

[exhales] Can't wait to get started

working with you, Omar.

Wait, hold on. Wait, wait, wait.

Okay, here.

I don't know what this is, but I'm in

no such mood. I just wanna go home.

Can you stop moping

and look around, please?

It's so beautiful.

You might not recognize

it in the daylight, but in the

- Moonlight?

- Yes.

[Felix sniffles]

Is this the beach from Moonlight?

It kind of seems like the perfect spot

for you to learn how to swim.

- No.

- Yes.

Yes, Felix. You have to

conquer your fear. It's time.

I'm not ready. I just

Thank you, but let's just sit

in the hand job spot and go home.

Felix.

This is the Moonlight beach.

We got to Moonlight.

Okay. Just relax your body.

More with your arms.

Up and over. Up and over.

See? You're floating.

- I'm barely holding on to you.

- [splutters]

- Felix! Wait, wait, wait. Stop.

- [screaming]

Okay, hold on. Relax, relax, relax.

You're floating, Felix!

[laughing]

["Dura" playing]

Celeste. [chuckles]

Well, sh*t, lucky me.

Here for the debut of Miami's

hottest celebrity couple, Isanti.

- Isanti? Okay.

- [laughs]

I like that. Did you come up with that?

Yeah, I am a writer, remember? [chuckles]

Right.

I'm here working.

Somebody's gotta tell the normies

what goes on inside the party of the year.

- Thank you for your service.

- Anytime. [chuckles]

You know, today's been kind of weird.

Uh, I got into it with Ness and Felix

and I feel like

Like I was kind of a d*ck.

sh*t, I'm sorry.

Do you wanna talk about it?

Yeah, I would I would love that.

Do you wanna find something to eat?

There's never any f*cking food

at these things.

Dude, I was just in VIP.

They have a feast.

They have steak, they have caviar,

they have lobster tongues

Lobsters have tongues?

Well, I'm sorry. Lobsters have all sorts

of parts when you're famous, okay?

- Oh, you're Mr. Famous now.

- Mmm.

- I'm sorry. My fault. [chuckling]

- Mmm-hmm.

[laughing] Vamos.

Santi didn't even, like,

bother defending me.

Yeah, I know.

I can't believe that.

I can. [sniffles]

I always knew this day would come.

It was inevitable,

like when you broke up with me.

Wait. Like, in the seventh grade?

Yeah. When the f*ck else

did you break up with me?

Uh, wow.

Okay. I mean,

I haven't thought about that in years.

Why Wait. Whoa, are you

Like, do you still

No. No.

It's just the situation with Santi

reminds me a lot of that.

Like you were my best friend

and when you started tearing your way

through the women's volleyball team, I

I just felt very alone.

Felix, bro, breaking up with you

in the seventh grade

is one of the best decisions

I've ever made in my life.

Because now you get to be somebody

that's in my life forever,

not just some guy that I

I dry-humped in middle school.

Felix, you're an irreplaceable person and

And I love you.

And you're a genius.

And any artist

would be lucky to work with you.

[sniffles] I'm gonna be jobless forever.

No, you're not.

Why don't I rep you?

[laughs]

I don't know. Seems like a stupid idea,

but [sniffles]it could be cool.

- Yeah.

- Could be interesting.

We'll have to work out

the contract. [sniffles]

You get three to four percent.

Okay, this is gonna be good. [laughs]

Hey, who was a better dry hump?

Me or Lizzie Esposito?

You were, buddy.

["Tánger y Zahara" playing]

So, this, um, whole Isa relationship is

Off the record?

- Yeah.

- Totally fake.

- Hmm, yeah, I thought so.

- What?

- You don't think I could pick up Isa?

- No, I don't, actually.

But I do think you can figure out

what type of children she harvests

to make her skin look so good.

Whoa, whoa, that's my future wife

you're talking about.

Ugh, okay, I love this song.

Oh, okay, what's this? Oh.

You got some moves.

[laughs]

Santi. [laughs]

Okay, please don't say your own name.

[laughs]

Okay.

- [laughs]

- [Santi] Mmm.

Um

- I'm sorry. I thought that we wanted

- We did, but we can't.

What is this about? Isa?

No, it's not about f*cking Isa.

I'm a journalist, Santi.

This could ruin my credibility.

My entire career.

I just turned in a piece

about you and your girlfriend.

Yo, we gotta go.

I just saw two of the Jonas wives,

so this party is dead.

I should get going.

Wait, but we haven't met Daddy Yankee yet.

Santi, please, desperation is not

a good look. Want it less.

Isa, I really appreciate you

bringing me here,

but my biggest hero

since I was a kid is right there.

See, this is the problem right here.

You still see yourself

as a little Colombian boy

- who idolizes Daddy Yankee.

- Puerto Rican.

Don't interrupt me.

You wanna meet your hero,

but you have the chance to be the hero.

What good is a selfie with Daddy Yankee

gonna do for your career?

You know what'll help your career?

Is if you go back to the studio with me

and really nail that pop-pop-pop.

- I thought it was two pops.

- There's a third f*cking pop, bro.

- Like, this is what I'm talking about.

- Yeah.

We really have to focus and get this right

because this song of ours

is your chance to be the person

people dream about meeting.

Like, you can't pass that up.

You're right.

So let's get pop-pop-popping.

Let's get pop-pop-popping, bro.

[Santi laughs]

Hey.

Ew, why are you guys so sweaty?

We were at the beach.

I was teaching Felix how to swim.

- You should do something about that.

- sh*t. I missed that?

Like you care. You're such a bad actor.

I understand that we were fighting,

but you could have at least texted me

and I would have shown up.

Like, Felix learning how to swim,

it's a big deal, Ness.

[Ness] Mmm-hmm.

All right, bro. Truce.

Are you f*cking kidding?

Okay, the doc, out of my hands.

But you can't be angry at me.

Be angry at her.

She's not my friend. You are.

- Were.

- Were?

Were? What the f*ck are you Are you

saying that we're not friends anymore?

Okay, whoa. We can figure this out. Right?

I mean, I'm gonna need you two

to kiss and make up eventually,

because I can't have

my two clients fighting.

What?

When we were at the beach,

we had a good talk.

It was lovely.

And we decided that it would be great

for all of us if I rep him.

And, like, help grow his career too.

Wait, okay, so now you have time

to manage both of us, f*ck Gina and swim?

It's not always about you, Santi.

Sometimes, you know, you have to

Ness, it kind of is. Right?

The whole reason we moved to Miami

was for my career

and it only took you a few months

to f*cking bail on me?

It was for all of our careers.

This was our dream.

And you're the one throwing it away

to be f*cking Isa's boy toy.

You're kind of being a d*ck, bro.

- I'm the d*ck?

- Yeah.

Since I hooked up with Isa, look at

the f*cking opportunities that we got!

We're at Daddy Yankee's party!

Thank you so much, Santi,

for bringing us to a party

where you couldn't even

be f*cking seen with us,

holding us c*ptive at Isa's studio

and, uh, oh, yeah, giving our song

to your fake lover. Like, wow.

[scoffs] Wow, you're still jealous.

Get over it, Ness.

[laughs] Why would I

be jealous about the song?

The song f*cking sucks and I warned you.

You're selling out

and screwing all of us over.

Okay, so how is this selling out?

Because all I know is that this is

all the sh*t we've been dreaming about

- since we were in Fort Myers

- Uh

since we were kids.

- You know what selling out is, though?

- Mmm?

Doing a f*cking grocery store ad.

Look around. I mean,

what manager would say no to this?

Maybe somebody

who shouldn't be f*cking managing you.

I also would like to quit.

[reggaeton song playing]

[sighs]

Oh, hey.

Oh, hi. [chuckles]

Hi.

I heard the song you sent me.

[in Spanish] It's really good.

- [laughs]

- [in English] I want to meet your friend.

Wow, thank you. That's amazing. Um

Actually, uh, you know what? [sighs]

Never mind.

["Problema" playing]

So, what's up, D?