02x03 - Behind Closed Doors

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

[Charlie screaming]

[panting] Oh, my God, oh, my God.

I-I have to tell Vaggie.

[gasping, panting]

Guys. Holy sh*t. Holy f*ck.

Emily just appeared to me
in office with portal.

Whoa, whoa, there, Charlie babe.

Remember what we said about breathing?
And it being a good thing to do?

[Charlie inhales deeply]

Emily just portaled in front of me all,
"Hey, it's me, Emily.

Heaven is closing down
because you k*lled a bunch of angels

and everyone's scared, but don't worry.

Oh, yeah, and also, Sir Pentious
is here in Heaven. Okay, bye."

-[gasps]
-What?

Pentious is in Heaven?

That means the hotel works.

I can't believe it. We did it.

We did it! Redemption is possible, Vaggie.

I knew it. I knew it.

Ha! Ha! Ha! I got to let everybody know.

[Charlie laughing]

Charlie, hang on. Wait up.

I thought Charlie said no more drugs.

-[grumbles]
-Charlie, are you absolutely sure

that's what Emily said?

I'm a thousand million zillion
percent sure.

[laughs] Isn't this amazing, Vaggie?

Ooh, I cannot wait to see the look
on Dad's face when he finds out.

Okay, a lot is happening.

Everything we've been working for
has been proven right, on a Thursday.

[quirky music playing]

[gasps] What? I don't... I would never...

Who-who even advertises on a zeppelin?

I-I... I guess Pentious would, huh?

[gasps] Right. Focus, Charlie. Charlie.

I got to get this taken down
before all of the Pentagram sees

and they start... [gasps]

Oh.

[laughs]

Whoa, whoa, Charlie,
before you get any crazy ideas,

what was that about Heaven
going into lockdown?

Did Emily say why? Can we talk to her?

Are the Exterminations still on?

Or did they even show you
that Pentious was actually there?

Wait, what are you doing?

Uh, just sending off
a little strongly worded email to Voxtek

explaining that not only
am I not a dictator

but also to send their top reporter
over here right away

so we can clear the hotel's name
with an exclusive interview.

Mm-hmm. And we need
to do this right now because...?

Because it's the perfect opportunity.

Okay, I do one quick little interview

before dropping the absolute bombshell

that redemption is possible.

Our message is broadcast
to all of Pentagram City,

people will flood to the hotel
wanting to be redeemed,

we redeem them, then Heaven will go,

"Oh, gosh, Charlie, you are, like, so cool
and your hotel is great

and let's work together
and be friends forever."

Yeah, I'm just not sure
reaching out to the overlords

trying to make you look like
a horrible monster is the best idea.

But this changes everything.

Vaggie, it's a big story.

I bet Voxtek will change their tune
when they hear it.

Just take care of the guests for me
until I'm done.

Okay. Love you. Bye.

[humming]

[sighs]

[Vox] Hmm.

[exhales sharply]

[chuckling] Ooh, no way. She...

[laughs] Velvette.

You're f*cking joking.

Looks like we got our spin, V.

[both laughing]

Well, I'll be damned.

I guess the kid actually did it.

What the actual f*ck?

What do you mean?
This isn't f*cking funny.

You actually believe her crazy talk?

I mean, Pentious was kind of a big softy.

I guess all that apologizing
and crying really paid off.

[scoffs] Yeah, nah.

Dude was an absolute d*ck.

Just some wannabe overlord simp
that kept messing with my sh*t

every chance he got
for the past f*cking forever.

I mean, how the f*ck
does that get you redeemed?

Hey, I'm not saying I knew the guy.

I'm just saying it makes sense.

If anyone was gonna
make it up there, it was him.

Or maybe Angel on a good day.

[laughing] Oh.

Them's f*cking words, kitty.

-Choke.
-Ha. I'd love to.

I mean,
guess I didn't really know the guy, huh?

I figured he was kind of soft
when he did his whole weird-a*s

-"Remember me" bullshit, but...
-[Angel Dust laughing]

You know, that Baxter guy
was spouting some sh*t

about them working together
when he first arrived.

Sure you could ask him a thing or two
if you're wondering.

I'm gonna get some air.

Mm-hmm.

His room's in the basement.

I'm not f*cking going, okay?

Bye, b*tches. [grunts]

Uh, okay.

-[lighthearted music playing]
-[Charlie humming]

Alastor. Alastor?

-Guess what.
-[knocking on door]

You are never going to believe what...
Oh, wow, that was fast.

Uh, welcome to the Hazbin Hotel.

Oh, it's a pleasure
to finally meet you, Princess.

Oh, and where are my manners?

The name's Vox,
CEO of Voxtek Entertainment,

and this is my lovely associate Velvette.

[Velvette] Charmed.

Anyway, you said to send the best,
and I just couldn't miss this opportunity

to interview
Hell's most controversial figure

and her apologists.

-Now, where's Alastor?
-Alastor?

[chuckling] I mean, he's right...
um, he-he's out.

[chuckles] You'd think
the so-called "host of the hotel"

would greet guests at the door,
but what do I know

about running a successful business?

Velvette, sweetie,
what are we working with here?

It's giving tacky.

Shitty lighting, clashing themes

and too much red.

-But I can make it work.
-Perfect.

But before we begin, Princess,
you know what this place really needs?

The new Voxtek 150-inch TV
right over there.

Brought to you by Voxtek.

[inhales] You're welcome.

Oh, wow, thank you.

Now, if I could just direct your attention
over to this really important thing

-that I wanted to tell you about...
-[Vox] And rolling!

Take a seat right over here, Princess.

Let's start with something easy, hmm?

What's your plan
for the next Extermination,

and will you be protecting everyone,

not just your, uh, favorite characters?

-What? No.
-[people gasping]

You won't be protecting?

-Interesting.
-Is it true you believe sinners

need to "change literally everything
about themselves"

in order to be redeemed?

And that the Morning stars
currently dislike



Dislike sinners? What?

-Uh, I mean, my dad...
-Hates sinners?

-Interesting.
-And the main question

-on everyone's mind: what...
-Actually,

I kind of sort of lied about wanting
to give an exclusive interview.

-What?
-[gasps] Liar.

Because I have bigger news.

Huge exclusive news, and I wanted Voxtek

to be the first to hear it.

Keep rolling.

Well, one of our guests,

Sir Pentious,

has been redeemed.

Redemption is possible!

Which proves that the Hazbin Hotel
actually works!

Take that, f*ck.

You can't be serious. That's...

good television!

Congratulations, Princess!

Bring the lucky sinner...
or should I say "winner"... on down!

Velvette, start a live broadcast.

Whoa! Wait, wait. Well, he's not...

actually here anymore
since, you know, he's...

[chuckles] in Heaven now.

That's how redemption works.

You go up.

Oh. Then how will you prove
these fantastical claims?

And how do you know
he's actually, well, up there?

Did a little angel fly down,
tell you that?

Yes! Well, technically,
she used a portal, so, um...

I think we've heard enough.
Velvette, call the limo.

What? You can't leave yet.

You just got here,
and my news isn't even out there yet.

Sorry, Princess.
While it was fun being lied to and all,

I can't broadcast this without proof.

The last thing I want to do
is spread misinformation.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

I'll prove it!

Yeah, we'll redeem someone.

Right here, right now.

All I ask is you film it

so everyone can see
what the hotel really is.

Now, that could be something.

Velvette, get your camera ready.

Let's get some B-roll of the hotel.

Princess, let's walk and talk.

Who are we redeeming?

-[chuckling] And why?
-Uh...

-[whimsical music playing]
-[squeak]

-[soft screeching]
-Mm.

Ooh. Fascinating.

-Hey.
-[yelps]

Learn to announce yourself, woman!

You work for Voxtek?

You little sh*t.

I'm a bio scientist in Hell.
Of course I work for Voxtek.

Now, I'm very busy.

Why are you here
and what will it take to make you leave?

Huh. I don't know.

Word is upstairs
you used to know Pentious.

Ugh, we were partners.

Oh!

So you were like...?

What?! Lab partners!

But I was clearly superior,

and that's all there is to know.

[whimpers] Do not, wench!

Give me the full story or the lab gets it.

Okay, okay, fine.

We used to work together

back in the day.

I specialized in bioengineering

-and he in the boring engineering.
-[expl*si*n]

Together, we crafted
various wonder-filled creations

that we shared with the citizens of Hell,

in hopes one day we could gain
enough favor to become powerful overlords.

However, it quickly became apparent that
his silly contraptions were too outdated

to gain us interest,

whereas my bio-experiments
won the attention of many.

Eventually, Pentious found my experiments
far too "violent" and "cruel,"

so he took the eggs and left to continue
his frivolous turf w*r scheme

with that woman he was obsessed with.

You, I think.

Hmm.

Strange guy, I guess.

Now have I satisfied your request?

-I'm allergic to recollecting.
-[soft screeching]

Achoo.

f*ck, do you have to be
such a little freak?

I'm going through something here.

I implore you to go through it elsewhere,

like through the door.

You know what, fine. I'm going.

Thanks, I guess, shithead.

[soft screeching]

[squeaks]

[squeaks]

[screaming]

[gentle music playing]

[sighs]

♪ ♪

♪ These elysian nights ♪

♪ Alone in the golden skies ♪

♪ Lost in a memory of how it used to be ♪

♪ when it was only you and me ♪

♪ and our old petty slights ♪

♪ I found home in those messy fights ♪

♪ Somehow I couldn't see
through the cloud of debris ♪

♪ at the scene of the crime ♪

♪ They say time heals all wounds ♪

♪ but the wounds are what I miss ♪

♪ 'Cause every brush with death ♪

♪ meant much more than a kiss ♪

[hisses]

[Cherri] ♪ Can you hear me calling ♪

♪ from way the f*ck down here? ♪

♪ Those golden days of brawling ♪

♪ were the best of all my years ♪

♪ I'm bored as f*ck without you ♪

♪ Are you bored without me, too? ♪

♪ I'm longing for just one night more ♪

♪ of beating the piss out of you ♪

Turf w*r! What's the score?

How the hell'd she get on board?

Egg Boiz, k*ll that vandal!

-Hope you like your minions scrambled.
-Oh, sh*t!

-Get lit!
-Get your punk a*s off my ship!

If you say so, got to go!

Oh, my God, it's gonna blow!

♪ Another exciting Sin City night ♪

♪ This sheila's blasting your a*s away ♪

[Pentious] ♪ Glorious bloodshed
under neon lights ♪

♪ I will destroy you at last ♪

♪ They say time heals all wounds ♪

♪ But the wounds are what I miss ♪

♪ And every brush with death ♪

♪ meant much more than a kiss ♪

[hisses]

♪ Can you feel me falling? ♪

♪ Though I don't know if it's love ♪

♪ Could this be love? ♪

♪ The cuts are healed and scarring ♪

♪ But I still taste the blood ♪

♪ I still taste your blood ♪

♪ I know I tried to k*ll you ♪

♪ and you tried to k*ll me, too ♪

♪ You blew a hole right through my soul ♪

♪ while I was beating the piss
out of you ♪

♪ Beating ♪

♪ the piss ♪

♪ out of you ♪

Hey, Charlie, you said you needed us?

And I still think about that little koala
falling over at the zoo.

[whimpers] I'm so sorry.

Whoa, whoa.

-What the f*ck are they doing here?
-[Charlie sniffles, gasps]

Oh. Hey, Vaggie.

I was just showing Vox and Velvette here

how our confidential
group venting sessions work.

Oh, that is so great.

Hey, can I borrow you for a sec?

Charlie, what the unholy f*ck?

When you said you were messaging Voxtek,

I thought you'd just talk
to some reporter on the street,

not the f*cking media overlord!

Okay. Well, first,

technically, he is a reporter.

I think.

And, secondly, the other thing...

Charlie, why are they here?

You're aware those two crazy f*ck
hang out with my sh*t-f*ck boss Valentino

and are part of the Vees,

and you still let them in here?

Vox is probably broadcasting to Val.

Oh, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck. Uh...

Charlie, listen to me.

I don't know what they promised you,

but I'm telling you right now
they are bad f*cking news.

Horrible f*cking news!

Okay, I've talked to Vox,
and he assured me that he's just here

to film the hotel and put out
a special tonight about what he sees here.

On the small, tiny, eensy-weensy-teensy
condition that we, uh...

redeem someone.

Yeah! Now that's where you come in, Angel.

What?!

Oh, you've really done it now, Princess.

Charlie, we don't even know
how Pentious got redeemed.

How do you expect us
to replicate that on TV?

And I ain't being your little guinea pig,

especially in front of Vox.

He gets off to watching people suffer.

Dude is an absolute c**t-f*ck.

But, Angel, come on.

You're the one here closest
to getting redeemed.

Look, you've quit drugs.

[stammers] Mostly.

You've been nailing your chore chart.

Sort of. And now that we know it can work,

we have an easy step-by-step guide
to follow.

Charlie, uh, I don't know if...

Now, I normally stay the hell out
of all this redemption business,

but she got a point there, legs.

Besides, if Flathead and Baby Barbie
try anything,

I'm sure Alastor's floating around here
somewhere, ready to throw down.

Angel, I realize I'm asking a lot,

but you've just made
such great progress lately.

I bet you're one good deed away
from redemption already. [chuckles]

-Please?
-Hey. Sorry.

Are we interrupting something?

We don't really have all day.

I was just looking for a volunteer.

And you went to Angel Dust?

I'm guessing it's because he's such a...

pleasant person to be around?

Hold on, V.

The star power's
always good for viewership.

Charlie picked him 'cause if anyone
around here's gonna make it,

-he will.
-Oh.

I didn't know
they let pets stay here, too.

-Cute.
-[snarls]

What do you say, kid?

Best case, you make it.

Worst case,
you're still stuck down here with me

and we down a couple of rounds
with Cherri later.

You know she ain't gonna let up.

Ugh!

You both owe me for this.

Big-time.

All right!

Show me redemption.

[jaunty music playing]

♪ Step one, say you'll get it done ♪

♪ Make redemption your resolution ♪

-Fine.
-♪ Step two, bid the booze adieu ♪

-Hey!
-♪ A sober mind's primed for absolution ♪

♪ Step three, dignity! ♪

♪ Try dressing more modestly ♪

♪ Step four, feed the poor ♪

Hey, ain't you that fancy wh*re?

♪ Five, six, seven, eight ♪

♪ Come on, buddy, concentrate ♪

♪ Change some babies
and help old ladies across the street ♪

♪ Isn't he sweet? ♪

-Uh-huh.
-Right.

♪ Come on, Angel ♪

♪ You're far from shameful,
just misunderstood ♪

-♪ You can be good for good ♪
-[shouts]

♪ All you skeptics, pay close attention ♪

♪ We'll speed run from
here to redemption ♪

-[yells]
-♪ Step nine, give a hobo a dime ♪

[chuckles] Yeah, no way.

-This story is bogus.
-[snickers]

-♪ Step ten, do one through nine again ♪
-Again?

♪ Just in case the angels in charge
didn't notice ♪

-♪ Step 11 ♪
-Little question.

This guy gets to Heaven how?

♪ Step 12, what the hell?
Pentious was redeemed by now ♪

♪ Thirteen, 14, 15, 16 ♪

♪ Better, nicer, faster, quickly! ♪

♪ Wear this top hat and build a rocket,
you got to commit ♪

[hissing] ♪ Start speaking like this ♪

♪ Have depression, an egg obsession
and a leathery hood ♪

♪ Then you'll be good for good ♪

♪ Then save a friend
from a certain demise ♪

♪ Oh, f*ck, maybe the key
is self-sacrifice ♪

♪ If you offer up your life
with pure intentions ♪

♪ we'll speed run
from here to redemption ♪

I hate you.

-[suspenseful music playing]
-[whistle blowing]

For our final attempt,

a poor helpless damsel

has been tied to the train tracks by me,

the Diabolical Danny Do-Bad!

[cackling]

I shouldn't have said nothing.

Help. I'm stuck.

Or whatever.

And look!

The 5:00 train

-with a deadly weapon tied to the front.
-[whistle blowing]

[chuckles diabolically]

Right on time for once.

[inhales] If only there was
a big, strong man

willing to sacrifice himself
to save the poor damsel.

Just like the great Sir Pentious did.

[chuckles]

And I definitely don't have a way
to stop this train in case things go bad.

Pretty sure one of Val's pornos
opened just like this.

Add plagiarism to the list.

[Southern accent] I'm a big, strong man

with so many redeemable qualities.

[normal voice] All right, nope.
Nope. Nope.

Come on, Charlie, this ain't gonna work.

I ain't nothing like Pen.

Charlie?

Who is this Charlie character?

The Diabolical Danny Do-Bad

does not listen to her friends.

Oh, no!

Look out, Sheriff Dust.

The train is reaching the drop!

The damsel!

Ugh, this is dumb.

I ain't doing it, Charlie.

But, Angel, this is our last chance to...

Nup.

But...

[sighs]

Okay.

Wha? Wha?

-Wh-Whoa, whoa, whoa, what?
-Oh, yeah.

I noticed your little train
didn't actually pose any risk,

so I took the brakes off.

[dramatic music playing]

You're welcome.

What? You what?

Niffty, stop the train. Niffty!

-Stop the train...!
-[laughing]

[whistle blowing]

-Husk, get out of the way!
-[slurping]

Oh! Oh, yeah!

Sure thing!

Except you tied me to the f*cking tracks!

f*ck, Charlie, I said I am done.

-Angel, the brakes are cut!
-[Husk grunting]

Husk!

♪ ♪

[grunting]

-Angel!
-[whistle blowing]

[grunts]

-Damn.
-You two okay?

Charlie, what the f*ck happened?

Angel, Husk,

I'm so glad you're okay.

Ugh, I'm sorry.

Charlie, it's okay.
I know you didn't mean it. I'm fine.

The hell you are!

What was that?

You could've got yourself k*lled!

What? Y-You can't be serious right now.

Y-You're mad at me?

I saved your f*cking life!

Yeah! By jumping
in front of a train, you idiot!

You pull sh*t like that again, and I'll...

I'll... I'll f*cking spank you.

Pull what sh*t? What?

The sh*t that you volunteered me for?

Yeah. 'Cause I know
how much you actually want this.

No.

You know what, forget it.

This is why I never say sh*t.

-I'm out.
-[scoffs]

I'll say it again.

I don't need your help, whiskers!

[clapping]

-Bravo! The tension! The drama!
-[cheering, applause]

Ah! What a show. [laughs]

Unfortunately, Princess,
it seems Angel is still here

and remains an irredeemable piece of sh*t.

-[crowd] Aw.
-Aw.

Who saw that coming?

All of us, really.

No, I-I just know it is possible.

Even though we tried
everything Pentious did,

there-there's got to be
something I'm missing.

Look, Charlie, Angel is not Pentious,

and things have already gotten out
of hand today.

Just send these assholes home.

He's not Pentious.

Maybe...

maybe that's it!

Okay, we have been trying
to re-create Pentious's redemption,

but maybe, maybe what he did
redeemed his own sin.

That's why it didn't work for Angel.

All we need to do
is have Angel act against his sins!

Whoa there, toots.

Not here and not today.
[chuckles nervously]

Remember that lesson on boundaries?

Oh, come on. We won't judge you, Angel.

You can tell me. Then we can redeem you.

It ain't that easy, Charlie. Now drop it.

It really isn't, is it?

Don't you dare, as*h*le.

Tell me, Princess,
what exercise could one do

to be forgiven for being a...

-Stop.
-...m*rder*r?

You shut the f*ck up!

Don't you dare call me tha...

k*lled your dad, right?

Least that's what Val told me.

-What did he do? Hit you?
-Hey!

That's enough!

[chuckling] Whoa! Careful now, Princess.

That's no way to speak to a guest.

You asked!

I answered.

You can sh*t on me.

You can mock me.

But I won't allow you to push
my friends around like that, okay?

I don't care who you are.

I think it's time you two leave.

Now, that's rich.

I'd like to remind you
that you invited us here.

Yeah, but now she's uninviting you.

All 'cause Angel got
his knickers in a twist?

-Sad.
-Fine.

We have a reservation
at Dante's Inferno anyway.

Very nice place.

You could never afford it.

But how 'bout one last question
for the road, Princess?

Do you think I could be redeemed?

I believe anyone can be redeemed.

Right, then.

I can almost see
why Alastor humors you. [laughs]

Oh, and, Angel, I'll be sure
to tell Valentino you said...

hello.

Come now, Velvette!

Seems to me not everyone
is welcome here at the Hazbin Hotel.

I'm afraid not.

Until next time, Princess.

Voxtek!

Trust us with your public image.

Ugh! [scoffs]

Damn it, Vox. Again?

-f*ck's sake.
-Angel, I'm so sorry.

-Can we please talk...
-You know, "sorry" starts to lose meaning

after a while, Charlie.

But I suppose I should be grateful

you're willing to still apologize
to someone as shitty as me, right?

Angel, no, you're my friend,
no matter what happens.

At least now you know
what you're working with.

Why don't you go ask Vox the next time you
need to pry out more sh*t about my life.

Angel, I didn't realize. I-I didn't...

Just give him some space.

It's been a long day for everyone.

[melancholy music playing]

[both cackling]

Oh! Ah!

[laughs] Oh!

That was perfect.

Did you get the moment
where she noticed the brakes?

Oh, I got it at three angles, babe.

Got to say, the Angel Dust trauma dump
was a nice touch.

Thank you, thank you.

Now, what's the recap?

Got a live up that's trending,

a fail compilation on Voxtube,

and a commercial ready to go.

-Want to run it now?
-Run it.

-[line ringing]
-[Vox] Want to know what really

goes down at the Hazbin Hotel?

Who Charlie Morningstar is?
And can you trust her?

I lied. I'm Danny Do-Bad!

[Vox] We took a visit to the Hazbin Hotel
so you don't have to.

Featuring interviews from real people

with real stories.

[distorted] When we arrived at the hotel,
the vibe was...

definitely off.

I remember walking in and Charlie
coming at me with an open fist.

Next thing I knew,

she struck me.

[Vox] For more truth, tune in
for Hazbin Hotel: Behind Closed Doors

tonight at 8:00!

Brought to you by Voxtek.

Trust us with your information.

[Angel Dust inhales]

-[exhales]
-Hey.

Hey.

-Long day?
-I don't want to talk about it.

[Cherri sighs]

I decided...

to stay.

[gentle music playing]

[lively, upbeat music playing]

-[whinnies]
-[whip cracks]

-Bento.
-[cheering]