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I Really Love My Husband (2025)

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I Really Love My Husband (2025)

Post by bunniefuu »

Yeah but Teresa and

Drew, though...

I know.

They're...so iconic!

Hi, sorry, excuse me.

Yeah! Where do we

find a Drew?

Teresa?

Hey, how are you?

I- I'm...

Isn't it your wedding day?

Yes.

I just wanted to tell you

that I'm really happy.

And I love Drew.

And I forgive you.

Okay?

I love my husband.

I really--

Drew.

Drew, give us a smile!

You kept me warm

in the winter...

We melted in spring...

Drew here has never

seen The Shining

so--how old are you?

and if I really

tried again

do you think he would

let me back in

I am doing DIY December,

where we are doing--

DIY December!

I hope you find your love

and she treats you well

Hey Drew.

What's it like to lose?

How small is the plane to the

island going to be?

Pretty small.

How small we talking?

Ladies and

gentlemen, we

do have a nut allergy

on board today, so...

- Honeymoon vibes.

- Honeymoon vibes.

Have you seen my--

My husband!

Okay.

An island in Panama!

Our honeymoon.

I love that!

So are you still in a daze

from the wedding?

Oh, we actually got

married a year ago,

but we did the whole

'mini moon' thing.

So this is the 'official'

official honeymoon.

Yeah, and I'm still in a daze.

Do you want a bar?

They're keto. It's like a

keto cookie bar.

I have, like, five of them.

No, I'm good.

So how did you two meet?

Craigslist.

Craigslist?

I was selling a lamp.

Oh!

My nana gave me this lamp

and I didn't have a

place for it

and I was leaning

more into this

Japanese minimalism

aesthetic.

Nana was a maximalist.

And I answered his ad.

Everybody was like,

low balling me.

And I'm like,

'This is my Nana's lamp!'

So Teresa comes in, she

makes the lowest offer, right?

And I couldn't say no.

So, I kept her number...

... and I promised myself

I would not text

her for drinks...

...for a whole week.

- Sir,

are you okay?

And when I did,

she answered right away.

Couldn't say no.

Oh, I love that.

Oh my goodness.

- Is he okay?

- Sir?

Oh my god,

what's happening?

Can

someone--

I got it.

Honey,

you're not a doctor!

He's not a doctor!

Right

there, now.

Oh!

Thank you.

Yeah, yeah.

Peanuts.

Thank you.

No. No, no, no.

Who brings peanuts

on an airplane

after they announce

there's a nut allergy?

Your keto bar!

I mean our keto bar.

Ahem!

Sorry.

It's our honeymoon.

Really nice

meeting you too.

Get me on the ground!

Thank you.

Yeah, it doesn't even say

there are peanuts in here.

Yeah. Look. Says right there:

Prepared in a facility

with nuts.

Where are our bags?

The bags never

made it to Houston.

I knew we shouldn't have

checked them.That's on me.

Oh, that's not your fault.

Besides, we can--

We can go 24 hours

without our stuff.

Life at the equator

is striking.

Oh, that is a hat.

It's good, right?

Hello.

Okay.

Wow. We're buying the hat.

Hello! How's your day--

How's your day going so far?

You really have to chat

with everyone, don't you?

You say something?

No, no. Nothing really.

Woo!

Wow...

She wanted an adventure.

Yes, um...Pinterest...found.

And the Panama

beaches are stunning.

Supposed to be food.

I'll reach out to the

rental guy.

Sunken living room...

Drew, there's a guitar!

Do you see the guitar?

Yeah.

And here is...

...the bathroom.

Wow, look at you.

Actually go back a few.

Okay, stop.

Yes.

I am going to go topless.

Because I'm an

empowered woman.

Yo!

Drew! You said this

is a private beach.

Hello.

-Hello.

-Hi.

Hi.

I'm Paz.

Oh, Paz! Yeah.

Paz?

The rental host.

P-A-Z, Paz.

Oh! Oh, 'Paz'

the name. Love that.

Thank you.

How are you guys

finding the place?

It's great.

Yeah, thanks.

Good.

Sorry to be annoying.

We, um... I think there was

supposed to be, like

food in the house?

Or, like, a lunch prepared?

Part of the welcome package.

- The 'honeymoon package'?

- Oh, yeah.

I told my friends to drop off

some food, but,

you know, 'island time.' We

move at the speed of nature.

Oh, yeah.

Don't worry about it.

We actually already ate.

Yeah, we brought some bars.

Yeah, they're these healthy

bars, they're for women.

Well, they're for anybody.

I mean, they're not gendered.

They're not 'Mrs. Bar,

Mr. Bar.'

Yeah, yeah, yeah,

they're keto, y'know, so...

I don't.

Oh, god, you need to

know keto, 'cause I think

that's probably, like,

the diet here, right?

I promise the food

here is great.

I recommend trying

Bibi's down the beach.

You guys wanna...?

Oh! Okay, Bibi's!

We would love to.

But we were just going

to settle in a bit.

Yeah. Right on.

Well, if you need me,

I live right down the beach.

- Nice to meet you.

- Yeah.

And I appreciate you, Serena.

Thank you.

You have a great night.

Bye bye.

Who's Serena?

It's going to be a

few more days.

The bags are still in Houston.

- Really?

- Yeah.

That's annoying.

Well, they're doing

the best they can.

Well, you could've yelled.

You never yell.

I yell.

- Oh, you do?

- Yes.

You know what?

I am really just tired

from the flight.

Okay.

We don't have to.

No. It's fine.

'It's fine?'

No. I--

- I just mean it's our--

- 'No, it's fine!'

It's our honeymoon.

Oh, 'it's our honeymoon!'

I've heard that before.

Hey! You cannot say that.

I just did.

'It's our honeymoon.'

It is.

Really.

Ladies and gentlemen, put your

hands together for our bride

and groom, Teresa and Drew!

Teresa and I,

we're so grateful

for all of you,

for coming out

to celebrate us.

And now,

Drew has a little surprise

for his bride, Teresa.

A love melody...

sings to me

In your eyes, a symphony

Hold me close to you

underneath the

starry beams

You and I

In lovers' dreams

Dispatches from Paradise.

Dispatches from Paradise.

Good morning.

Breakfast?

Uh, no, I don't--I want to

get back to my wedding weight.

I was actually thinking of

trying intermittent fasting.

- Oh, cool.

- But there's coffee.

Oh. Thank you.

I want to be in my body

and be close to nature.

Awesome.

Like moving at the

speed of nature.

Hey.

Do you want to fast with me?

Like on our honeymoon?

I feel like it's the perfect

time to, like, reset.

It's only in the mornings.

It's intermittent.

Oh, but I work out

in the mornings, and

I think if I

skipped breakfast,

that might be a

little tough for me.

Fine.

We'll eat breakfast.

-Weird.

-What?

Jason just liked that

picture of us.

- Jason?

- Jason Nichols.

He commented too.

He said,

'Great picture, Teresa.'

Just 'Teresa.'

That guy is so nice.

I remember him.

Hi, are you

thinking something to eat?

Yes, yes, I will have the

Breakfast Traditional,

please.

Teresa?

Uno mas pia colada por favor.

And to eat?

I'm fasting.

Como se dice 'fasting?'

How's your day going so far?

It's a

beautiful day.

- Just like every day.

- You are so lucky

to live here--

It's our honeymoon.

Congratulations.

Yeah, well, it's a

delayed honeymoon.

Yeah.

One year I've been

married to this one.

Isn't he handsome?

He is very handsome.

Thank you.

He's a handsome golden boy.

Even my mom has a

crush on him.

And she doesn't even

really like me that much.

Actually, on the plane

ride over here

he saved a man's life. Yeah.

A man who may or may not

have been having

a little reaction

to my keto bar.

We don't know for sure.

We were on the plane, and

this guy's like

'My throat's closing up.'

And Drew was like,

Gimme that EpiPen.'

And then he stabs the man.

And the man was saved.

The man lives because of Drew!

And then everybody

was staring at me

with eyeball daggers, because

I'm the b*tch who opened

up the nut bar, which again,

we don't even know

if there were actually

peanut traces in there.

But after the entire plane

has practically applauded him

and given him the

Medal of Honor

he decides to say

that it is our keto bar.

He takes the blame.

Are you okay?

What? I'm telling a

funny story.

Everybody's laughing.

He took the blame

for our keto bar.

I'm sorry.

- What's wrong?

- Nothing.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

I feel like you're mad at me.

I'm not mad.

I'm not mad.

Am I allowed to be feeling

something other than jovial?

I mean, this is going to be a

week-long vacation,

and I'm allowed to be feeling

something other than happy.

In fact, right now

I'm relaxed.

I'm relaxing.

Okay, good. Good.

What happened on the plane

does sound obnoxious.

Yeah, it was.

Sorry.

-Don't apologize.

-No, I shouldn't have snapped.

Is there anything that

I can do to make it right?

No, no.

You're good.

You're so--

That's a good one.

What are you laughing at?

Your hat!

Your ironic fisherman hat.

Are you not wearing

that hat to make me laugh?

I see what you're saying.

I shouldn't have tried

to take credit

for the keto bar.

Okay, but even that,

even saying that, like,

can you just try not

to be so good for once?

Does that make sense?

I mean, we've been

married a year now.

Are we different?

Do you feel different?

We just got married.

We're still the same people.

Taxes are different.

- Like when you're

talking about Alan--

- Jason.

Yes. Jason. Okay.

A lot of guys would be

weirded out by that.

I'm not going to

put that on you.

That is weird to me.

I'm saying if we were

to look back, would we be like

yes, we lived all out.

We lived full lives.

Does that make sense?

It does. And...

... I will try.

I want to try.

I just hear 'honeymoon'

and suddenly I feel

like, this weight.

Like, suddenly, like,

this needs to be

like, the best week

of our lives.

Like an adventure.

Yes! Yes, like an adventure!

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

We're on the most adventurous

vacation of our

entire friend group.

I don't know. I'm confused.

And it's a lot of pressure.

No, no, no, no,

there's no pressure, okay?

There's no pressure.

It's just our honeymoon.

But there is a

lot of pressure.

Oh my God.

Come here.

I do feel seen by you.

I do, I do.

I see you.

Like, I see you.

And I see you seeing me. I

do. I see you seeing me, I do.

I really love it when

you tell me these things.

I really do.

Okay, that can sometimes

be hard for me.

I feel really, really good.

I do. Just to be able to

talk, you know?

Good morning!

- I told you my friends

always come through.

Are y'all getting hungry?

Brunch is just about ready.

'Honeymoon package.'

-We're fasting--

-Do you want to join us?

Yeah, I do.

When I got here,

I was like,

I need to be by the

jungle always.

But I need to be

by the ocean too.

And I feel like here on Bocas

I get the best of both worlds.

- You can have it all.

- If you have balance.

That really, really

resonates with me.

I knew I needed

something for me

outside of work, outside of

the rise-and-grind culture.

And so I was like,

'I'm taking back Mondays.'

But like, what does that

mean actually, right?

And so I was like, okay,

Sunday scaries, no sleep,

Monday fog, caffeine fix.

So I decided to make my

morning coffee

a practice of self-care.

Skip the Blue Bottle,

brew at home.

I started doing it every day

and I realized

I do have the discipline.

And I got control over myself.

And I think it was

that mental obstacle, that

hurdle of doing it every day

that changed my life forever.

Yeah, that is balance.

Yeah.

How about you?

How do you find balance?

Oh, I work out

in the mornings.

I'm a podcast engineer,

and it's a lot of sitting.

Working out helps me focus

and stay balanced.

You're in your head right now.

Take this.

A rock.

It's not just a rock.

It's a special rock.

So whenever you have anxiety

or something's coming up

you can hold it or play

with it or whatever you want.

But I used to have

the same thing, so I get it.

Well, I, uh...I don't want

to take your special rock.

No, it's your rock now.

Seriously.

I'll be right back.

I'm going to go get

myself a new rock.

Okay, listen.

Remember when we were

talking about trying

something new

for our adventure?

Okay? Hear me out.

Don't react until I finish.

Okay.

What if we seduced Paz?

- The rental host?

- Mm-hm.

Are you serious?

Yeah.

I mean, we're both

clearly attracted to them,

and, like, there's

a connection.

I mean, this is our

honeymoon, right?

And it's a safe

space to do it.

And, you know,

we didn't anticipate it,

which I think is really good.

Yeah.

I mean, it sounds like a lot.

Yeah, but--okay,

don't you want to

jumpstart things

and, like, reset things?

I mean, we're setting

the table for the

rest of our lives,

and I--we

want an adventure.

Okay, okay.

To be clear, you're saying

you just want to have

a threesome here,

and we're not opening

our relationship?

Yeah, a threesome.

But, if you and Paz wanted

to have your own experience,

I'd support that.

Like, I think that

would be beautiful.

A threesome? For us?

Yeah, for us.

You know,

I don't--I don't--

I don't know--

Gotta have your rock.

I don't think so.

Hey, that was an awesome meal.

- Oh, oh, yeah. For sure.

- This was really great.

Ah, nope, nope, nope, nope.

I got this.

We're going to clean up.

You've been amazing.

We're going to write

a great review.

Oh, and the rock too.

- Oh, right on.

- And you rock!

Thank you. Yeah.

All right. Right on.

Well, if you need me,

I'm just up the beach.

Great. Thanks a lot.

Yeah.

Paz!

Yeah. What's up?

Can we pay you to

show us a good time?

I mean, like a good time--

Like a good time

around the islands?

Because we were going

to be here for

3 or 4 days.

We just want an--

We want an adventure

around the islands.

Just like a tour guide.

Yeah,

only a tour guide.

You don't have to put us

to bed or anything or, like

babysit us, you know?

But, uh...shows that I'm

compromising and I'm open.

Yeah.

For sure. No. We could--

I'm totally down

We can go to Paki Point

and there's the mangroves.

I can take you guys

to Secret Island.

Secret Island?

Yeah!

It's this island

no one really knows about.

And it's f*cking sick.

Great.

So the owner

was like, 'Hey, Paz!

why don't you just

keep an eye on things?

I'll pay you.'

So it kind of just worked out.

Sometimes things just...

work out!

Yeah, sometimes things

just work out.

Like how we met.

On Craigslist.

I was selling my Nana's lamp.

Didn't really fit

in my place--

You would sell your

grandma's lamp?

Well,

I was leaning into a more

Japanese aesthetic.

And Nana was more

of a maximalist.

Teresa answered the ad.

And, a lot of people

were low balling me.

And then she comes in and

she offers me the

lowest number, right?

And I couldn't say no because

she's a good negotiator.

Cool!

Let's go for a swim?

Yeah!

Yeah, it's magical.

I mean, there's, like,

fireflies everywhere.

And, um...I don't know why

people sh*t all over the

Midwest. It's the best.

I'm trying to remember

why I was there...

My cousin lover.

But it was winter, so there

were no lightning bugs.

Your cousin lover?

Yeah.

My cousin Sammi.

At the time, we were dating.

You were dating your cousin?

Yeah.

Like second cousin?

No, first.

It's very common for cousins

to marry and have children.

It's actually a Western

constructed taboo

that's pretty damaging

to a normal

and acceptable practice.

Super western.

Hola Armodio! Qu tl?

Hey!

- Cmo ests?

- Bien, bien.

- Hola!

- Hola.

Teresa.

Drew. Armodio.

How you doing?

Muy bien.

I mean, wow, this is

Secret Island? Wow.

Oh, no.

No, this isn't Secret Island.

No, I got to get

to know you a little

better before we go

to Secret Island.

Ooh, tough luck!

Woo! Come on, babe!

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

Wow, babe!

Paz, I thought you

said you played soccer!

Oh, c'mon!

Give me a minute!

Okay, if I were

a fruit, what would I be?

A coconut.

Okay, what would Drew be?

Um...

Are you saying I'm round?

No! No, coconuts

are sweet!

Where'd you get that?

Oh, yeah.

My dad gave it to me.

It's an Albanian eagle. Dads

usually give it to their sons,

but my dad gave it to me.

not my brothers.

Why? Because

you're his favorite?

Probably.

Watch your step.

- Thanks.

- I got you.

Yeah, we're still

waiting on the bags from

from Houston, but, it's

actually pretty liberating.

Who needs more than

one outfit? Right? I mean...

Who needs clothes

at all?

Yeah, I only

have two shirts.

How'd you choose your name,

by the way?

'Paz'?

It means 'peace.'

So you just woke up one day

and decided you wanted

to be named 'Peace'?

That's exactly what happened!

Okay, well, if you can

change your name, I can too.

You can! You can change

it right now.

Okay.

my name is Coco.

Because of the coconuts?

No.

We're moving at the

speed of nature around here.

Oh my god.

Oh my god!

Here you go.

- Thanks.

- Yeah. For sure.

So, what kind of podcasts

do you work on?

Conversation, mostly.

True crime,

pop culture, sports.

Right on. You like true crime?

Not really. No.

Do you?

f*ck no!

I used to be in music.

No bills are paid that way.

But the skills carry over

into podcasting.

Right.

And I do get to play a

little bit with the

true crime stuff, like,

I'll add creepy music

and mess with the levels.

I don't think they

notice though.

Probably not.

On other shows,

the hosts are like

semi-famous people

acting like they're saying

something important to

build their brands

so they don't have to

podcast anymore.

Oh, f*ck.

That's depressing.

So you play an instrument?

You guys, look!

It's so cute.

What are they saying?

That cat's got scabies.

Oh my god.

No, Teresa. Cat scabies.

They don't bite humans.

God, I love that woman.

They don't bite humans.

Teresa, come on.

I can feel it!

Your wife is f*cking crazy.

What the f*ck?!

It's good.

Thank you so much.

I'll see you later.

Hey guys, the boat is ready.

Need help?

You seen my hat?

Hey!

Excuse me.

That's my hat.

That's mine.

It's his hat now.

I traded it for this.

- What?

- It was a special rock

and he really wanted

you to have it.

But I was like, 'Drew's not

gonna take a rock from a kid.'

So I gave him your hat.

Besides, your wife

hates the hat.

Do you wanna join us

for a drink tonight?

Of course.

- What better way

to end the day?

What do you mean?

We're going dancing tonight!

My Kiki! What's up?

How are you? This is Drew.

- Hi.

- Teresa, this is my Kiki.

So nice to meet you.

So,'My Kiki,' what brought

you to Bocas?

No, just 'Kiki.'

Paz loves nicknames.

Tell them.

- No...

- Come on, come on.

Well, I was out here

for a certain reality

TV show filming

on an island out here.

Yes, yes, that one.

And I was really excited.

Of course.

And, I mean, it's super

competitive to even get on,

so I didn't care if they

cast me as the villain.

I was just so ready.

And, um...

It's okay.

I was voted off

the first night.

Oh, yikes.

It's okay.

You put yourself out there,

and I think that is so big.

Thanks babe.

So big.

And I love that you're

someone who would do that.

I appreciate that.

It's just--

I don't know if Paz

understands completely

because I don't know if you've

even seen a reality TV show.

I haven't.

Not once.

What?

Well, the only thing worse

than being the villain is

being the one

no one remembers.

So I decided to stay in town

to decompress

and wallow a bit, and

Paz found me at Coquitos

drowning my sorrows.

I still think that

is just so cool.

I would love to be

on a show like that.

You should! Right?

I mean, you've got the

strength. Obviously.

And the social game, which

is pretty much most of it.

I'm gonna re-up.

My drink. Does anybody

want another drink?

Oh no, I'm still

working on mine.

Thanks, though.

Thank you.

So what brings you

guys to the island?

- I'm gonna be right back.

- Okay. Yeah.

It is our honeymoon.

- Your honeymoon?

- Yeah.

Oh my gosh!

Congratulations!

The happy couple!

Yes. I have questions.

Oh, please fire away.

You like-a da sour?

Ew!

I like-a da sour.

How long have you and

'My Kiki' been together?

Oh, we're not together.

We just enjoy

each other's company.

Okay, I figured,

which is fine, obviously.

Why wouldn't it be fine?

I don't blame you for staying.

This place is so beautiful.

I mean, it is. It really is.

I mean, it's amazing.

But I didn't stay here

for the island.

I stayed here for

buried treasure.

-What?

-Yeah!

Yeah. No.

I'm serious.

There's buried treasure

all over this island.

Here, try this.

You're going to spit it out.

You like it?

Okay. I don't. Disgusting!

All right. Let's dance.

The history and the

adventure and the exploring!

-It's just--

-Incredible.

Yes!

Guess what?

We're going to the

Secret Island tomorrow.

What's that!

Oh my God!

I don't like things

that crawl!

Look, it won't do

anything. It's just a crab.

Oh, I love this song!

Oh, hey, drinks on me.

Okay. Paz and Kiki,

they're just friends.

Very friendly friends.

What about Kiki?

I don't know.

What about Kiki?

Come on. You know.

Oh, no. No. Okay.

No! Come on,

I was open to Paz

because you're attracted

to them.

Why don't you just

be open to Kiki?

Oh, I don't know, Drew.

It's--I don't know.

The energy is not there.

I found a connection with Paz.

Okay? Took a beat.

But we're on vacation.

Like, this is a safe space

for us to explore together.

Don't laugh!

You know you want to!

Our adventure.

Okay.

Okay, fine. Maybe.

Paz said they're going

to pick us up tomorrow

morning and take us to

breakfast on the ocean.

I mean, do you feel that

chemistry with Paz?

Because I see it

between you two.

I mean, it is electric.

It's like we're alive.

And Secret Island is clearly

where they go to fool around.

You saw the look on Kiki's

face when Paz said that.

What do you think it's going

to be like with Paz?

Are you mad about Kiki?

When we go to Secret Island

it's going to be like this.

And this.

You're going to do

this to both

me and Paz at the same time?

Yes.

And this...

And this...

And this...

You're awake.

What time is it?

I have no idea.

Hey, what if we

didn't sleep with Paz?

-What?

-Yeah.

I just feel like I sort of

forced you into it, and...

I don't know.

Let's just stick to the plan.

For us.

Our adventure.

Right, right.

Okay, I'm going to

go make coffee.

Big day.

Secret Island.

Secret Island.

How is it?

It's good.

Come in!

Who's ready for Secret Island?

Oh, we are!

Yes.

No way.

I told you I got you.

You didn't have to do this.

No, I did, and it is

a Panama hat,

they're just made in Ecuador.

It's a common misconception.

Oh, you look so cute.

Okay, so I have a picnic

packed up here,

a special picnic.

We have some arts and crafts.

I love arts and crafts!

And a lot of water.

Love water.

And the thing about Secret

Island, when we get there,

we're going to have to--

Oh my God.

What's wrong?

Oh my God, oh my God,

oh my God.

Did you get bit?

No, nothing. It's fine. f*ck!

No no it's--

No, it's fine, it's fine!

What it is,

what happened?

My ring!

I had it on on the porch

and it was on my finger

and then I came out

here to the ocean

and then I stuck my hands

down in the ground

because I was

grounding myself!

It might be buried.

Just dig. Just dig!

You're sure it was right here?

Yes!

Oh I was so stupid!

That was so stupid!

What do we do?

It's okay, it's okay!

I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

No. I'm not good.

Don't say that.

I'm not.

I love you so much.

I'm not good.

No, don't say that.

It's going to be okay.

I know.

Guys.

I'm so sorry.

The last metal detector

on the island went missing

six years ago.

I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.

f*ck.

Is there anything

I can do for you?

We should go inside.

Yeah.

You've been trying

to seduce me this whole time.

No...

No!

Okay, well, yes.

That's fine.

We have a connection.

You know what would make

this even better?

What?

Breakfast in bed.

Hey, we'll help.

No, I got it. Yeah.

I feel so present.

- Like, so in my body.

- Yeah. That's good.

I've been trying to be, like,

more in my body and just

more in myself in general

Like, for example,

in my morning routine,

I wake up,

I do my morning pages,

I write three things

I'm grateful for, three things

I wish I can improve upon,

and three intentions

I have for the day.

I just find if I'm not

staying grateful

I end up being in this

really negative headspace

which just sort of accelerates

me to be more in my body.

Whoa.

So you do all that so

you can be present?

Yeah, yeah.

All the time.

I want you to be

present with me.

I don't think I could do that.

May I?

What do you feel?

I feel your hands.

What do you see?

I see your eyes.

How do you feel?

I feel safe.

You'll find you'll

surprise yourself

when you quiet yourself.

Breakfast on the

upper deck!

Man, I am so full.

But I can't stop eating.

I love your pancakes, Drew.

I'm really good at

making pancakes.

Should we do a check in?

Oh, yeah. Sure.

Yeah, well, I can go first.

So we just

engaged in an intimate

experience together,

and I feel very good about it.

Well, I feel good.

I feel really good.

I'm surprised at how

good I feel.

And um...

I feel more connected

with you.

So thank you, Paz.

That make me really

happy to hear.

Teresa?

Oh um...I feel...like

I have to pee.

Are you happy now?

Life is...

moving.

At the speed of nature.

What's in the pancakes?

I am...

happy.

I'm really, really happy.

Good.

Flour...

Sugar...

Eggs...

Milk...

Chocolate.

Chocolate?

From your bag.

That's not chocolate

chocolate.

It's not chocolate-

chocolate?

It's magic chocolate.

Oh my God!

The gap in the teeth

leads to the heart!

It's all a map!

Albert Einstein's second wife

Elsa was his first cousin.

Oh my God!

Their mothers were sisters and

their fathers

were first cousins.

Oh my God!

Can you imagine how hard

it must be to balance

mother in laws

who are also sisters?

On top of maintaining his

relationship with Elsa?

I love my husband.

I love his jokes.

They're funny.

They are funny.

You know what?

What?

I have to love people right

where they are.

You got to love people right

where they are, Drew.

I've got your back!

I'm so happy.

I'm so happy.

I'm so happy!

Oh, sh*t!

I drugged us!

I drugged us on accident!

Woah...

Take yourself into

the unknown

Take yourself into

Guys...

Woah!

Let me see it.

Oh f*ck.

Oh f*ck!

That's awesome.

Jeez!

This is, like, the

best thing I've ever eaten.

What are the plans

for tonight?

I need to dance.

Oh you know what?

I need to dance, too.

Let's dance.

I'm going to meet up

with some friends,

but y'all should definitely

have some fun.

Oh, yeah.

Good. Yeah.

That's great, actually.

I've been wanting some

solo time with you.

Yeah. That's good.

That's a good idea.

All right, well,

if you need me,

you know where I live.

Right down the beach.

Alright...

Bye!

Bye!

They're so funny.

This'll be nice.

No, I am

glad we chose here.

Yeah, it's been so...

You okay?

Yeah.

Woah! What

the f*ck was that?

It's just a crab.

It's a crab--it's okay!

Run away!

The thing is, I feel

like if I'm moving,

then things can't bite me.

Does that make sense?

So I just feel like

we need to go dancing.

Yeah. Let's just--

Let's go dancing.

Are you okay?

Drew?

Are you sure

you're okay?

Yes. You go

without me.

Don't deny your

dancing mood.

Okay.

I'll be dancing here in bed.

Good night.

Um, hola.

Hi!

Un tequila y soda por favor.

Tequila soda.

Yes.

Con lime.

Right now.

Hola John, qu tl?

Hey, Kiki.

Hola. Cmo ests?

Bien. Y t?

Excelente.

Love that.

Hi.

How was your day?

Oh, it was, it was great.

Thanks. Yeah.

That's great.

Do you hate yourself?

No. I don't hate myself.

What kind of question is that?

Oh. Right.

I'm just wondering.

I was just wondering.

You see, I was on

this reality TV show.

Yes, I know.

Right.

Sorry.

I just figure you

have to hate yourself

to put yourself on a

show like that.

But at least now I know

I hate myself, and

I'm working on it.

And I think someday

I will like myself.

That's great, Kiki, that

you're doing all that work.

but I like myself, so...

I don't really think that

pertains to me.

That's good.

Pepto. Thank you God.

You know, I saw

you guys earlier.

You and Paz and Drew.

Oh.

Yeah.

But that's okay.

I mean, I'm super used

to it by now.

That's kind of Paz's thing.

You know? Sleeping with

couples here on vacation.

And it's funny because

they all think it's like

this magical, unique

thing, but it's not.

Being with Paz alone

though, that's different.

That's special.

They let very few people in.

One on one. Like that.

Um...

Okay, thank you.

I have to go.

Okay. Do you, um...

I can have my

own experience.

I don't hate myself.

Paz.

Oh, sorry.

Paz?

Hey.

How was your night?

Yo!

I was just packing so

we could go first thing.

Oh, great. Awesome.

Do you want to have a beer?

Is it cold?

You're quiet.

I just feel at ease

when I'm around you.

So you like me?

I'm sorry.

Teresa's just in my head,

and I can't stop thinking...

I thought that

I was standing on

something solid.

But now I think that I'm

the only one that felt that.

She said that she wanted us

to have our own experience.

You and me.

I know you think I'm crazy

but I'm not.

This door's jammed.

You have fun?

It was really, really fun.

I missed you.

How are you feeling?

Much better.

-Hey, listen--

-I want you so bad right now.

I miss our one-on-ones.

Ugh. Tequila breath.

Sorry, babe.

You're a little tipsy.

You know what?

I'm really tired.

Sorry.

No. Keep playing.

No, I was just messing around.

Are you ready for

Secret Island?

How was the bar?

Oh, it was really, really fun.

Yeah.

I love hanging with that crew.

Paz is such a funny dancer.

Paz was there?

That's weird.

Why is it weird?

Paz was here getting the boat

ready for today.

Okay.

And, I saw them,

and I went down there

and then

we had our own experience.

You and Paz?

Yeah.

You and Paz hooked up?

Yeah.

Yeah, like you wanted.

It was...

I was open and

it was awesome.

Wow.

That's okay, right?

Because you told me

you wanted me to--

Yeah.

Yeah. Of course.

Yo!

Okay, here we are,

at private beach

or whatever it's called.

There is the ocean.

And here is Paz.

And there's Drew.

Drew!

Drew.

Give us a smile!

Okay.

That is going to have

to be good enough.

Hey, Teresa, are you upset?

No, no.

Why would I be upset?

Because Drew and I had

our own experience last night.

Which you said was okay.

And you may have mixed

feelings about it,

which is totally fine.

Okay, cool. Well, yeah.

I mean

maybe I did say something

along those lines and

it is fine.

So, sorry if I'm a

bit wound up.

I guess some of us had

a certain sort of

release last night

and some of us didn't.

If you were to take

a scientific poll of

who is the most

relaxed on the island,

it's not going to be me.

That's fine.

I'm sort of over here.

You're sort of over there.

We're the Three Musketeers.

If one of the Musketeers

had been, like,

kicked out of the group

and asked back to some

sort of weird reunion tour.

But no.

I'm good.

Hey, are you hungry?

No. I'm not hungry.

I'm fasting.

Okay, you two need

to figure this out.

Can you just give us a second?

What the hell? Teresa?

Just talk to me.

There's nothing to talk about.

Well, I'm confused

because you said that

you wanted this.

that's exactly what you said--

I don't mean every

single thing that I say.

How am I supposed

to know that?

I would never do

anything to hurt you.

I would never--

Hey!

Where are you going?

You two need to

figure this out!

You're going to just

leave us here?

Great.

f*cking great.

What?

I did something?

Yeah. Literally.

Paz left us stranded here

because we're so

f*cking awkward to

be around.

I just think it's funny.

I just think it's funny

that this entire week,

I've been the bad guy

for wanting to do

something with Paz.

I never said that you

were the bad guy

for wanting us to do

something with Paz.

Then meanwhile,

la-de-f*cking-da, you and Paz!

This was your idea!

You said I would love for you

to have your own

experience with Paz!

I think it would be

beautiful--

Oh, okay, Mr.

This Is For Us!

That is the only reason

why I agreed

to do the threesome.

God forbid I want anything

outside of this.

You know what?

You didn't want this for us.

You wanted it for you,

and now you're pissed off

because Paz and I

have a connection.

The three of us weren't

enough for you.

You just wanted

your own thing.

You know what?

All this little playing

pretend that we're doing?

It's so blah.

It makes me sick.

This whole thing

makes me sick.

And honestly, Drew?

I feel bad for you.

You just want everyone

to love you.

Is that why you're bending

over backwards for Paz

for the boat driver

for the guy in the

aisle seat?

Everyone?

Why do you make me

feel this way?

You made me feel

bad for just existing.

Apparently, there's

something inherently

wrong with me that you see

and nobody else

in the world sees.

Like

I'm really sorry

that people actually

think I'm a good person.

Maybe there's something

wrong with you, Teresa.

You know what?

You're not the only person

who thinks that about me.

Oh, guess who else

thinks that about me?

I think that about me.

But at least I do the work

to be okay with being

a complicated person,

Keto fasting's not

doing the work.

The videos, it's not work.

And the threesome's

not doing the work.

Okay, well, why don't

you tell yourself

whatever little story

makes you happy, right?

Like, how about our story,

our little meet cute?

Oh, I texted her

and I waited a whole week,

and then she got back to me

right away. Right?

I didn't even save

your number.

I was just drunk

and horny on a shitty date

so I thought,

yeah, why not hook up

with a rando

who I literally

don't remember?

And I show up and

it's the lamp guy.

Yeah, I referred to you

as the lamp guy

to my friends for weeks,

and you just kept

hanging around,

so I thought, sure,

I'll f*ck you.

Sure I'll date you.

Sure I'll marry you.

Which was so dumb

because three years

later, I still can't

f*cking stand you!

And I'm sorry.

You're right.

I, for whatever reason,

for whatever reason

that I cannot explain,

I cannot figure out a

way to love you.

What is wrong with me?

That I cannot figure out

a way to love you

when the rest of the

f*cking world can?

Drew, what are you doing?

Building a shelter.

Oh, my God.

We're stranded on an island

called Secret Island.

Who knows how

long we'll be here?

Okay, well, let me help you.

I don't want your help.

I don't want your stick!

Drew.

Drew!

Don't talk to me.

Drew.

Don't talk to me.

I have nothing to say to you.

Drew!

Our boat is here.

So, how's your day going?

How good does a pia colada

sound right now?

Drew, can we talk about this?

I'm sorry.

My lawyer will be in touch.

Are you seriously

divorcing me right now?

Yes.

I wanna go back

I wanna go back

I wandered

free as the night

And you kissed me hard

Can we stop at Bibi's?

You tasted like gin,

you tasted like life

I'll be right back.

About earlier.

No, no, no, no

need to apologize.

It's okay.

Teresa and I are done.

Oh, f*ck. Okay.

And I just wanted to

come check on you.

I know it was a lot.

You just broke up with Teresa.

You're coming to check on me?

Yeah. Yeah!

Drew, I'm okay.

Right.

I'm sorry.

Yeah.

They never believe

when you say

you've seen the

darkness in another

Never wanted it this way

but it's hard to

undiscover

and I know it's alive

and it's okay

eyes are focused

on the clock

dream fade away

cuz it's alive

and it's okay

Paradise...you told

me it would be nice

But we've paid the price

Here in paradise

Heartbreak in the end

Fighting here and there

We can patch these wounds

It all feels too soon

Oh, it's time

to let you go

These ebbing tides

you know I'm right

I have to be free

This gentle breeze

I hear it whispering

Oh, it's time to

let you go

These ebbing tides,

you know I'm right

I have to be free

This gentle breeze

I hear it whispering

Let you go

Let you go

Let you go

When I look at you

I don't know what to do

But my heart senses truth

I'm not ready

to let you go

That I know

Oh, it's time

to let you go

These ebbing tides,

you know I'm right

I have to be free

This gentle breeze

I hear it whispering

Oh, it's time

to let you go

These ebbing tides,

you know I'm right

I have to be free

This gentle breeze

I hear it whispering