Tokyo Zombie (2005)

[bunniefuu]

This story

begins at a fire extinguisher
plant in Edogawa, Tokyo.

There was a large pile of trash
that had collected by the plant

where people would come
to throw away various things.

Recently, it has also become a pseudo
burial ground for those in trouble.

And eventually, that pile of trash...
would be named "Black Fuji".

What?

You're growing more... nose hairs.

Oh, it's white.

It kinda looks pretty white.

Even though it's just nose hair.

What IS nose hair anyway?

Dunno.

Come at me!

Keep your head up and your back straight.

Oh, my bad...

No good.

You have to raise the opposite leg first.

Oh, I see.

Keeps it sturdier.

Think of it like a triangle.
Always start with a strong base.

Don't forget that.

Yes, Sir.

Good. Round two then.

Yes, Sir.

May the best man win.

What the...

Your base is too weak.

What?

If your base is too weak, this is what
happens. Scoot out and raise your head.

sh*t...

Hey! No biting allowed!

Sorry. It's a habit of mine.

Bad habits must be fixed!

I always lose myself
when I get too passionate.

Then don't lose to yourself.

I understand.

Good.

One more round?

You good for nothing slobs!

Ow... Oh, it's Ujimoto.

Don't play innocent with me! What
do you think you're doing on the job?

Laying out mattresses like that...

We're on our lunch break right now, Sir.

Lunch break, you say?

Knowing you,
you were just playing pro wrestlers again!

Not pro-wrestling; It's Jujitsu.

Hey, keep quiet.

Hey, Baldy! Say that a bit louder!

This company and BOTH of you, for that
matter... are too much for me to handle.

Lie down there.

Idiot, what're you doing? Lie on your SIDE.

Grab the sides and roll around.

Do it.

What's with this stupid bald head of yours?

You may look old, but you're a child.

You act nice, but I know
you're both making fun of me.

Do you have any idea what I have
to put up with because of you?

Dammit! You jackass... you jackass...
you jackass... Dammit, you jackass...

Hold it right there, Fujio he's dead.

What the hell are you doing!

It's HIS fault. But what should we do?

Black Fuji is our only choice.

Tokyo Zombie.

Darling! Stop this at once! If you don't,
you're in BIG trouble with Mommy!

If you stop, I'll get mad.
That okay with you?

No, it's not...

Don't let her fool you! She's not a
normal girl... she's evil! She's a witch!

Shut up, ya old HAG! We WARNED you
what would happen if you kept nagging us...

See? Now she's showing her true colors.
Demon! Whacko! Female Pig! FEMALE PIG.

Mommy!

Darlinnnnng!

Hello?

Hel-lo.

HELLO!

HELLO!

Ujimoto's Grave.

Well, let's go.

Wait a minute. He probably misses this.

Aw, a last gesture of sympathy...

I only hit him lightly.
I had no idea he'd DIE.

That's Hayashi...

Hayashi?

He was my homeroom teacher in junior high.

Why isn't he wearing pants?

What a waste...

Long time no see.

Who the hell are you?

You were late AGAIN... How many
times have I scolded you for that?

I'm sorry, Sensei. But I have a reason...

LIKE I CARE! Late is late!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

What did I do to deserve this?

Hard b*stard.

Bingo.
Hard b*stard.

Hard b*stard.

Oh my... Oh my oh my oh my...

This is good stuff...

Who're you!

What do you want?

Oh my God...

you wanna suck it? Oh, I see, I see.

Don't usually go for girls, but you'll do.

Okay, so bite it lightly, okay?

Ow, that's too hard.

Why'd you have to kick
mom's head like a soccer ball?

Gotta problem with that? If so, then
we're not having sex anymore.

Oh, I don't like that...

Hey, don't touch me! Stop it!

I don't like this either!

Why did you beat that teacher?

Revenge. Just paid him back
for something he did to me.

So he did ya, huh.

What?

I can tell that teacher's bad news.

But he didn't "do" me...

But I think he DID. You have the face of
a guy who's been done by another guy.

Aw, stop it. He didn't do it.
And I hate jokes like this.

That's because he DID you.

I keep telling you he didn't.
Shut up or I'll smack you.

...like he smacked your butt?

JUST SHUT UP BEFORE I f*cking k*ll YOU!

Look, look...

Looks like we got him.
You could have avoided him.

Are you sure?

Sure, I'm sure. Be a good boy.

Huh? He's still alive.

You're right.

Looks like he's really hurt.

That's bad.

I wonder if he'll be okay?

If he's not okay, one of those
people will take him to the hospital.

Guess you're right.

What do you want for dinner today?

Hmmm... Hayashi rice.

Hey, can you kids give me some room?

I'm sorry! Forgive us.

Kids like you shouldn't be out so late.

Hey, Sir!

Huh? What?

Please give me otoshidama!
[new year's money]

...Who are you?
And New Years is far off, by the way...

Please give me otoshidama!

Oh, here it is.
We don't have enough allowance money.

So THAT'S what you mean...

but you kids really shouldn't be doing
things like this. Where do you live?

Don't underestimate adults.

We apologize!

Your boyfriend's leaving you
behind. Looks like you're alone.

What do you want to do?
Wanna come visit me?

Please help me!
This weird guy is stalking me!

What the hell are you doing!

Oh crap...

Micchan. Are you awake?

No, I'm asleep.

I can't seem to fall asleep.

I keep thinking about the guy we hit.

Go to sleep and
you'll forget about it, Fujio.

I WOULD sleep if it wasn't on my mind.

Geeeez...

Guess we have no choice then.

Here ya go. Put this tape on your
eyelids. Then you'll be forced to sleep.

Say, you're smarter than you look.

Guess so.

Thanks.

Micchan, can I ask you a question?

What?

Do I really have a knack for Jujitsu?

To tell you the truth, no.

I don't?

Nope. But you do have
a knack for "something".

What do you mean "something"?

That's a secret.

Aw, come on, tell me.

It's a secret.

Come on, tell me!

Secret.

What's the matter?

What, what? Are you okay?

Nothing. Just go to sleep.

Are you really okay?

Well, tell me tomorrow then.

I wonder what it is?
I'm looking forward to knowing...

And so, Doctor, what are your
theories on this "Biting Incident"?

Zombies in Tokyo?! Frightening tales
of evil. Horror therapist: Akiyama-San.

Zombies in Tokyo?! Frightening tales of evil.
Horror therapist: Akiyama-San It's Black Fuji.

Zombies in Tokyo?! Frightening tales of evil. Horror therapist: Akiyama-San Black Fuji? Are you
talking about the "mountain" of trash that has been created by people throwing away various things?

Black Fuji? Are you talking about the "mountain" of trash
that has been created by people throwing away various things?

Trash isn't the only thing
being buried there.

Dead bodies and
realllllly bad spirits are buried there.

As well as the mighty spirit of the
trash... the spirits of humans...

along with industrial waste... are all blended together,
reviving the dead bodies and turning them into zombies!

Zombies, you say?

It seems that at last, TRUE
zombies have appeared in Japan!

Zombies bite people...

and from the evil virus within,
these people too become zombies!

Zombies are motivated by their fear of Hell,
so they desperately bite anyone they can find.

But the only way to destroy a zombie
is to smash its head or to behead it.

Behead it, you say?

Yes. Please behead them. Like this...

What show is this?

Dunno.

Hey, let's try something
else besides Jujitsu sometimes.

Something a little more violent...

You mean like pro wrestling?

No, I'm just saying
Jujitsu gets a little old sometimes.

It's just that Jujitsu moves look kind of
dull and I hate having to use my head.

It may look dull, but Jujitsu is powerful.

That alone makes it interesting.
Jujitsu is the best fighting method.

Oh well, you can teach me Jujitsu.

Drop the "oh well".

What's wrong?

Ujimoto...

Oh, so Ujimoto survived.

Oh, that's the guy I
hit with the car. Look, he's alive!

I lost sleep because of you...

Hey, this guy's acting weird...

I wonder if he's
pissed because I hit him with a car.

Hold him back. Just like I taught you.

Understand? DON'T let him bite you.

Get him! Hold him back!

Fujio!

That's easy for YOU to say!

I've got him, now what do I do?

Stay cool! And now, give him a sweep!

What's a shoop?

Not a "shoop"; A "sweep"!

Here, get your legs out. Your legs.

Now flip... flip...

Good.

Wow, that was easy!
Why couldn't I do this earlier?

Idiot. It's no use beating him
if he's already dead.

Oh, you're right.

You really worry me sometimes...

Sorry, sorry. Why you...

What the hell are these people?

They're probably zombies.

Zombies?

This's bad. Come on, let's go.

Okay, we're safe. Let's get out of here.

What's wrong?

I don't have the keys.

Aw, please. Where are they?

Probably inside.

Idiot. Go get them.

Whaaa? And face the zombies?

I'll distract them.

Heyyyy, zombies! Hey, come here!

Come here, come here, come here.

Got it yet, Fujio?

Not quite!

Hurry up already!

Damn, where'd I put them?

Micchan, I found them!

What?

They were in the ignition all along!

Jackass!

Sorry, my bad.

Sorry about that, Micchan.

Are you mad? Sorry, I really mean it.

I'm gonna hit you.

What?

After we get somewhere safe,
I'm going to hit you hard.

I know. You can hit me as hard as you want.

Was that necessary?

You said as "hard as I wanted".

Yeah, but STILL... you scared me.

...Oops, forgot my wallet.

Oh, I forgot mine, too.

Oh well. Where should we go?

Probably up north.

North?

Yeah. For starters, go north.

Where are we now?

We've been driving for hours...

Think there are any zombies here?

I don't think zombies would go north.

Hey, wait a minute!

You should have known you've been
driving SOUTH the whole time.

Farewell Party You should have known
you've been driving SOUTH the whole time.

Farewell Party.

Farewell Party
Hey, I said I was sorry.

Farewell Party Lemme tell you something about
north and south: They're complete opposites.

Lemme tell you something about north
and south: They're complete opposites.

But going north or south, either is okay.

No, it's not! It has to be north.

What's so great about north?
What's up there anyway?

Russia.

Russia?!

In Russia, there's lots
of fighting sports like pro wrestling.

A guy like you should WANT to
go to Russia if you're a man.

I'm not interested in Russia.
Does that mean I'm not a man?

Of course. Everyone knows Russia is manly.

I definitely DON'T want to go.

So you don't want to be a wrestler?

Of course I want to be one.

Then start working towards it!

Why do you have to be so
bossy? You're ALWAYS like that.

You're the one who talked
me into getting this sweater.

I HAVE to boss you around. You were so scared of
those zombies you would have DIED without me.

You almost got k*lled, TOO, ya know.

But you got scared
because you've got no ba*ls.

Yeah, I do.

No, you DON'T.

Yeah, I do.

No, you don't.

Do.

Fine, if that's the case,
then knock me down.

Why the hell do I...

There, I did it.

You're cheating!

Let's go to Russia. Let's go to Russia.

No... I'm not going!

What's wrong, Micchan?

Are you okay?

Listen, I feel love...

Uhhh, in what way?

Do you feel love?

Well, yeah, as a FRIEND...

I was talking about Jujitsu.

Of course I do.

Really?

Yeah, I do.

I've done lots of martial arts...

but I think Jujitsu is definitely the best.

Well, Micchan, I agree with that.

There is... something that...
I must say... to you.

I haven't told you this before, but...

actually... I have cancer.

Cancer?

Half a year ago...

I was...

told that I...

had stomach cancer.

Just when... it started progressing...
I met you.

And I decided to teach you Jujitsu...

And once again... I was able to
feel... supreme happiness again.

I didn't know...

But I never know...
when I'm going to die... But still I...

wanted to... show you...
the wonders of Jujitsu.

This's kinda embarrassing,
so I turned it into a poem.

Micchan, I've got something to tell you...

You made me much stronger and I look
forward to learning more. So stay alive.

I agree.

Instead of letting
something stupid like cancer k*ll me...

I'd rather be k*lled by you.

But I couldn't do that.

I don't mind.
Just try defeating me. Here, get on top.

Like this? This way, right?

Yeah, that's right.

Then my legs go this way?

No, that's wrong.

Okay, like this?

Not quite...

Oh wait, I think I got it.

That'll never work.

Wait, I think I got it...

He says he wants to know the whole story.

It's just an ulcer from
accumulated stress...

You'd better explain it to him.

After I've paid this much,
it's GOT to be cancer, right?

Tell me the truth. It's cancer, right?

TELL ME I HAVE CANCER,
YOU f*cking QUACK! HEY!

It's cancer...

So it's true. Please forgive my temper.

Hey, Fujio... Fujio, get off me!
What're you doing?

You're grossing me out; Get off!

Oh, sorry, my bad. Ah, my leg's
asleep. Owowow, it's tingling.

Owowow.

Hey, what's the hold up? Let's go.

Just a minute.

Okay, got it. Micchan, come look at this.

What is it? What the hell?
Okay, got it. Micchan, come look at this.

What is it? What the hell?

Russia bound.

Aw, stop that.

...So you really were
banged by that teacher.

I TOLD you, I wasn't! Stop bringing it up.

If you talk about it again, I'll forget
you have cancer and kick your a*s!

Go and get the bare essentials. Don't
forget cigarettes and toothbrushes.

Okay, I get it.

Hey! Hey, zombies!

Wow, I didn't know Hard Chipple
released a new flavor. What should I get?

Fujio! Hurry up!

I'm almost done!

Time to go.

Good.

What did you get?

Hey, what's this?

Why didn't you get more nutritious things?

And where's my cigarettes and toothbrushes?

Want me to help?

You'd only get in the way.

I expected more of him...

Well THAT was mature of him...

Without toothbrushes, we'll get cavities.

I wonder if I should have gotten more...

What's with this?

Idiot, idiot, idiot...

Let go of me, you weirdo! Stop it!

There's no time to explain, just get in!

No, let go!

Get in!

What's going on?

No! No!

Where are you taking me? Are you psycho?

Just shut up, b*tch! Get going.

I'll start the engine.

Oops. I got bit.

Got it. Micchan, we're leaving.

Good. Let's go.

What's wrong, Micchan?

I got bit.

Just 3000 yen?

That was a waste of time...

What's the big idea?

Have some respect for him; He got bit!

Why should I? I didn't ASK for his help.

Hasn't anyone ever taught you
what gratitude is, ya b*tch?!

Who the hell are you guys anyway?

Who the hell are YOU? Stop it.

YOU stop it.

You little b*tch...

Hey, you two!

She's not at fault.

I'm sorry, Micchan. I should have
bought more than Hard Chipples.

Don't let it get to you.

But I'm probably a goner now.

Micchan, hang in there.

I was bitten by a zombie...
it's over for me.

Don't condemn yourself!

Fujio... Russia.

Go to Russia and get stronger.

Only with you. You're coming too, right?

With or without me,
you can still learn Jujitsu.

In ten years from now,
I'll give you a black belt.

Hey, this guy got bitten by a zombie, right?
Shouldn't we kick him out before he goes nuts?

Just shut up. Say one more thing
and I'll f*cking k*ll you.

If anyone, you should k*ll the BALD GUY.

What's this for?

Take care of her.

No way. I'd never!

You're a man, aren't you?

What are you doing?

Life is full of farewells.

...Bye then.

Micchan!

Micchan!

Oh yeah, I can't swim...

Micchan!

Aw man.

sh*t.

"Mitsuo... Fujio..."

It's a Jujitsu robe...

Hey, what're you doing? Hey!

Leggo of me!

Let go of me!

You're going, too!

No, stop it!

What did I do to you?

Micchan died and you're
not even crying for him!

You think I'd cry for some bald
jackass I don't even know?

What was that for?

You should talk more like a lady!

Why the f*ck should YOU care?

Look... Look...

What is it?

Someone's in the car.

Thanks for the Calpis.
[A popular Japanese soft drink]

Hey, that's mine!

Wowww, that's good! Thank you very much.

Hey, hey, stop! Hey!

NOW what'll we do without a car?
Are you f*cking Ret*rded?

Stop calling me Ret*rded!

Hey, wait! Hey, I can't swim! Help!

Listen! I'd rather k*ll myself than
stay with you. ret*rd.

Please, really, I can't swim...

ret*rd, ret*rd, stupid, moron, c*cksucker!

Hey, don't go! Hey, what're you
doing! Come back! Help me!

Oh, sh*t!

Hey, help me...

Just drown, jackass!

Hey, they're jumping in after us! Hey! Hey!
We'd better do something! Come on...

...Five years later

Tokyo died.

Because of the zombies that descended
from Black Fuji, Tokyo ended its life.

However, a small section of the wealthy that survived built
in a section of the city... tall buildings and apartments.

The wealthy people captured citizens who had
no money and turned them into their sl*ves.

And those who ceased to be
useful were ex*cuted.

However, one last hope
remained for the sl*ves.

They were able to appear on TV programs designed to
entertain and relieve the stress of the wealthy.

If they became popular, these poor
people might be awarded lives of luxury.

And the zombie wins!

That's boring!

You suck!

You're all gross! Well, they are!

And now, the REAL zombie games will begin.

The zombie boxing lightweight
champion... Don Haratake!

Good luck!

Haratake, you suck!

And in the other corner, we have a
man with eight years experience.

A serious fighter,
Black Fuji Jujitsu's... Pon Fujio!

Fight!

Are you serious?

...Pon Fujio wins!

What the hell?

That was too fast!

What're you trying to do, you ham!

Die!

Drop dead!

Okay, fine patrons,
please quiet down! Please quiet down!

And now it is time for today's main event. A man
with 20 years Jujitsu experience, Tom Gaiga!

This fight will be in two rounds! The
first round will be Vampire Zombie.

Then the second round
will be the Masked Zombie!

Will our very own Gaiga be able to win?!

The audience is rowdy as usual.

Sorry about that. I don't dislike your performances, but
you should consider entertaining the audience more.

You think I have time to think
about that? I'm fighting for my life.

And I have to show the powers of Jujitsu.

You're boring, so boring!

Be a little more creative, okay?

Look.

That's a pro wrestler.
A great sight to watch.

Great to watch? It's all faked.

I can tell his opponent
isn't a real zombie.

This means he can relax and
concentrate on entertainment.

So it's that obvious?

I'll admit, not everyone here
is a real zombie.

But if we mix the real ones with the fake
ones, the audience never knows any better.

They believe they're seeing a real
fight and it relieves their stress.

It's really turning into quite a show.
Why don't you join in?

I'm not interested in that!
Especially those fake zombies...

I have a backup plan.

Get me if you can!

I was just thinking about
livening things up a bit.

The next zombie is a real one.

He's pretty good.

What the hell is this?!

You...

You're real!

Honorable patrons! It turns out the true identity of his
opponent was his former business partner, Sanda Gori!

Double crossed by Gaiga, resulting in one of his eyes being removed, this
man returned from the depths of Hell as a zombie to get his revenge!

No one told me... How dare you...

Dammit... Now I REALLY
want to kick your a*s.

The Masked Zombie... or shall we
say, Sanda Gori, wins the match!

Our hero Gaiga has been defeated by Gori.

Even his entrails were eaten... HOWEVER!

Our zombie fighters have not all lost! Tomorrow's main event will
feature today's new champion, Sanda Gori, against Pon Fujio!

Wait... Fujio's going to fight HIM?

Yes, it's true.

Gori! Gori!

Hello, Squeeze Power Plant speaking.

Hey you! What the hell were
you thinking! What did you do!

I apologize, sir.

You're fixing this, or you're dead!

Yes, sir.

Hey! Work harder, you all!

Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze...

Hey, I told you to fix that.

What're you doing?

I'm making squeeze-electricity. This
becomes electricity for rich people.

Waste of time.

I'm only doing it because you don't bring
home enough money. Hand it over.

Jujitsu Rules All men go to Russia.

Micchan... Today, I used a move you taught
me to win the match. Did you watch?

Fire Extinguishing Plant.

Yes, but when you take him down, match your shoulders
up with your opponent's to maintain better balance.

Really? Good point.

But still, today's match
was only worth 80 points.

I promise someday I'll win a


Hey, I'm not finished
talking to Micchan yet!



That's less than last time. You probably
beat him in a BORING way again, huh.

Aw shut up! I keep telling you, I'm
NOT doing this for the money!

Listen here, romantic ideals won't put
food on the table! Why don't you get that?

I fight to show others how wonderful
Jujitsu is. Stop complaining.

I think it's silly.
Holding up a promise with a dead bald guy.

A dead bald guy who saved
our lives, you mean!

If I hadn't been there,
you'd be long dead now.

And now I regret saving such
a silly guy like you...

But anyway, I'm sick of this way of life.

Then just leave! It's you who's holding
me back from my martial arts anyway.

Martial arts? You're fighting ZOMBIES.

And you pray every day and night to this
stupid picture. You f*cking ret*rd.

Hey, what was that for! Geez...

Instead of keeping a promise to some dead guy,
start thinking about those LIVING around you.

Fumio still can't speak. It's probably
because you're a ret*rd.

Stop blaming ME. YOU gave birth to her.

Owwww. That's domestic violence, you know!

You think I care what a
Jujitsu ret*rd has to say!

Just stop that, you b*tch.

If you think you're so great, then
become popular and win us a mansion!

Why don't you just give up
and become a zombie?

If I die, who will look after her?
Not a real ret*rd like you.

Stop calling me Ret*rded!

Die!

Die!

Die!

Hey, that's my bad leg!

I'm not touching your injury!

Die! Die!

Hey, that hurts!

Micchan, I'll do great in tomorrow's
fight. So watch me, okay?

Ryoko...

Are you asleep?

Good night.

ret*rd.

"Win us a mansion...

good luck. Also, good luck... to you."

Fujio, darling. Your skin feels nice.

Hey!

So soft...

Cut it out!

Don't be so cold.

You shouldn't underestimate
your opponent. He's no amateur.

He was a real fighter before he died.

He's just a zombie, not an "opponent".

I just hope you don't die and join him.

Well, patrons, thank you for your patience! Here is the
much awaited Fujio vs. Gori. It will be a one-round fight!

Will Gori win, or will Fujio use his
customary DULL fighting style to defeat him?

Fight!

This is Jujitsu.

What the hell happened?

Gori! Get him!

All right! Gori!

Sorry.

What're you doing!
Deliver the final blow at once!

Hey! Help me!

Why're you coming to me?
He's your opponent!

Hey! Don't come near!

Did you snap it off?

Did you snap it off?

Prince!

Prince
Prince!

Prince.

Just a little mishap! But rest assured.
The zombie fights will not end.

Please allow us to continue!

Did you snap it off?

I apologize, your majesty! I
promise we will not let you down.

You snapped if off, right?

Yes, sir!

You call THAT a fight?

No way!

Snap it off?

Yes!

Snap it off?

Yes!

Did you win?

You came back because you won, right?

I'm quitting Jujitsu.

Huh?

I'm also quitting fighting.

What the hell are you saying?

How the hell are we going to eat?

We'll go work in
the Squeeze Electric Company.

Who'd wanna work in that sh*t h*le?
Are you Ret*rded?

Then what else will we do?

Shut up. You came in here because
it's dangerous out there, right?

Listen, you... the Jujitsu
Micchan taught me lost.

Show some sympathy.

Ohhh, so you lost.

I'm surprised you made it home then.

But it wasn't Jujitsu that lost; YOU did.

And the reason I did is
because you annoy me!

Why is it MY fault?

If you weren't around, I'd have gone
to Russia and become a great fighter.

Then I'd be fighting on
the world level right now.

Stop blaming other people all
the time, you f*cking ret*rd.

If that's the way you feel, then you can just
leave! Go to Russia, Africa, or wherever! Hurry up.

Hey, where are you going?

Where? Russia, of course.

And what am I supposed to do?

Don't ask me.

The only reason I stayed with you all
this time is because Micchan told me to.

Are you serious?

Yes, I am. DEAD serious.

I see. In that case, I'll be GLAD to see
you go. Go off to Russia and drop DEAD!

I will. You drop dead, too.

f*ck!

I do like your style, but...

well, win tomorrow's match and we'll see.

I'm not fighting anymore.

Huh? Did today's loss
scare you or something?

Now that's what you get for
being so caught up in Jujitsu.

It doesn't matter if I win or lose.
People complain.

Just get it over with and k*ll me.

So... you don't care
what happens to your family?

My family doesn't matter to me!

...Then kiss me!
If you do, I'll fix everything for you!

Damn... you hate me THAT much?

And here I thought you could be the best.

What a waste of talent.

WHAT A WASTE!

sh*t!

When he comes back,
I'll k*ll him this time.

What's so great about
a shitty bald guy anyway!

What? You have something to say to me?

I'm not crying yet. ret*rd.

Micchan, what should I do?

Please speak to me again.

Pon Fujio's Blood Festival.

Micchan... if I lose and
turn into a zombie, don't get mad.

Heave h*! Heave h*!

Are we having a great time, or WHAT!

You call THIS sh*t a "great time"?

If today's match is boring again,
we'll f*cking k*ll you!

Fine patrons, have you heard of
the legendary "strongest zombie"?

It is said that he has defeated


He has awesome Gundam-like powers!

The strongest zombie. You see, several days ago,
we successfully captured this strongest zombie.

In order to rile him up to supreme rage and
strength, we have confined him in harsh conditions.

We hope that today's fight will
be FILLED with flowing blood.

Now let me introduce... Zombald.
A bald zombie!

Bald zombie?

What the hell is THAT?

It's just some bald old guy!

Gimme a break!

First, a demonstration.

One against a crowd!

Our sl*ve-fighters... will be his meal!

Stop this, Micchan!

What's going on? Do you know him?

He's my mentor! Micchan,
it's me! Fujio! Remember?

Patrons! Did you hear that?!

The strongest zombie turned out to be
Pon Fujio's former mentor! What irony!

What a fated reunion!

Let's see some action then!

It's me! Your friend, Fujio.

You don't remember me?

Today's main event...
Pon Fujio vs. Zombald!

Fight!

So one of your friends is
in that building down there?

My friend is being forced to
squeeze-squeeze. Please rescue him.

I'm asking you, will there be
Calpis in there or not?

...There probably will be Calpis.

Okay.

Get ready to party!
Let's go in and get the Calpis!

This isn't a DATE, you guys!

What're you waiting for, jackass!

What're they doing?

That looks really gross...

What's happening?

Biting is off limits.

Aw, damn. Old habits never die...

What're you doing here?

You're okay?

Did you go to Russia?

No, not yet...

What're you doing HERE then? Go to Russia!

Well, a lot of things came up and...

What's wrong, Micchan? Are you okay?

Hey, what're you... sh*t!

What're you doing!

What're you trying to do?

Zombies have to eat human flesh...
otherwise, they feel hellish pain.

Stop it!

Let me bite you. If not, I'll k*ll you.

Stop it, Micchan!

Hey, what happened to the normal
Micchan I was just talking to?

Hey, come on, let's practice
Jujitsu again together!

Stop relying on help from a dead man.

Live by your own power.

Defeat me.

But I can't do that...

Fujio! I'm serious.

But I can't be serious!

He did you, didn't he.

What?

He did you.

That teacher at Black Fuji...

What?

It's okay.

Come on. Just kiss me.
Have you kissed before?

He didn't DO me.

You have the face of a guy who's
been done by another guy.

He didn't do me!

Yes, he did.

For the last time, he DIDN'T do me!
You have a f*cking death wish?

...So he DID...

No, he didn't, you a*s!
Moron, moron, moron!

Looks like your bad habits
developed good ones.

I'm sorry, Micchan!

Now I can finally die.

No, you can't die!

Idiot. I'm already dead.

Then come back to life!

You're not making sense.

Listen. Go to Russia.

Remember how I told you back
then that you have "something"?

Yeah, I remember.

Truthfully, you have NOTHING.

But... I can tell you the full story now.

Since you have nothing,
ANYTHING is possible.

Believe in that and find
out what it means. Understand?

I get it and don't get it...

Fujio...

I get it.

Let's meet again someday.

Micchan!

THAT MADE NO SENSE AT ALL!

k*ll him!

I guess he's having a fun time now...

Wanna go?

k*ll him! k*ll him!

Get out! Get out!

Fighting stadium...

Prince speaking!
I'll be over there straight away!

Guess it's Plan B.
Release all the other zombies!

Thank you, Micchan.

I'll take your advice.

Sorry, Fujio, dear.

What?

Calpis... where is it?

We're here! Now what?

Help us! We'll give you money!

What are they doing?

Where is the Calpis!

Is this... possibly...

Yeah.

Is it yummy?

Listen, where's Calpis?!

Where's Calpis?!

Calpis... Calpis! Calpis!

I apologize! Back then,
I was a sl*ve to Calpis...

You have no idea
what I went through after that.

I'm sorry, but I REALLY like this truck.
Can I give you this in exchange?

Does it run well?

Very well! It's all fixed up!

But will it make it to Russia?

Russia?! That should be no problem.

After all... it's Russian-made.

For real?

For real, for real.

Masa! She has some more Calpis!

Well done!

Will that do?

Guess it'll have to.

Then it's a deal!

All men go to Russia.

sh*t, where did that ret*rd go?

I wonder if he did go to Russia.
Guess so...

Get on.

What're you doing? You just
smashed up the house, you know!

We're going to Russia.

Are you insane?

Just get on!

Who the hell wants to go to Russia!

Get on, quick!

We're all going to Russia?

Yeah.

Are you f*cking Ret*rded?

Stop calling me Ret*rded; I'll k*ll you!

Are you f*cking Ret*rded?

Are you f*cking Ret*rded?

She talked. Our girl talked!

Okay, let's go!

Not so fast.

What is it?

Do you love me?

I'm asking, do you love me?

How can you ask that at a time like this?

BECAUSE it's a time like this, I'm asking.

Of course I love you.

"Of course"?

I love you.

Oh, really. Then what about Fumio?

I love her ten times more than you.

Okay, let's go.

Did you save me?

We're going to Russia now.

This place would be in trouble without
someone to run the zombie fights.

I see... so you're leaving.

Fine. When you come back,
come work for me again.

That's bullshit.

I know. Then a goodbye kiss...

I should have let you die.

Hey...

Are you f*cking Ret*rded?

You're a star!

You're my lucky star!

If you're wondering if we made it safely to
Russia or not, that is a story for another time.

Well then, I bid you farewell.

Five minutes ago.

Five years ago.

Oops. I got bit.

One, two, three.

Mitsuo was bitten...

Mitsuo was bitten...
with dentures.

Owww... This hurts.

This hurts.

That Fujio... why didn't he k*ll me?

This hurts.

Hey! You idiot! I'm also a zombie!

ret*rd! Go away.

Sheesh, ZOMBIES these days... they
can't tell one of their own kind. IDIOT!

Fujio!

You're my lucky star!

That b*stard... where is he going.

Hey, don't go, Fujio!
k*ll me already! Don't go!