Found Footage 3D (2016)

[bunniefuu]

So, what do you think?

It's good, it's a little cliche,

don't you think?

No, that's not cliche.

That's how every found

footage movie starts.

I know,

that's why I called it cliche.

Yeah, that or a fake police

evidence tag.

Yeah, and plus,

if the bodies were never recovered

you know,

how did they find the footage?

Yeah, no, of course,

I'm saying this looks good..

Oh, no this looks great!

Yeah, the text and everything,

it's very impressive.

Thank you.

Yeah, no, absolutely,

but again, in this first part,

it doesn't say anything about why

they were filming in the

first place,

it just says that the

footage was found.

What footage?

The vacation video footage?

No, I know that, but the

audience needs to know that.

Yeah.

Right.

No, of course they do.

Right.

Right, no, I'm saying, yeah,

we should put that in there.

I agree, that's a great idea.

Obviously, but it looks

good and we should add that.

It looks great,

and we should put that in there.

There it is then, it's happening,

we're making movies.

This guy right here comin'

up with good ideas,

that's why I hired him as director.

Let's put it in, Rock Star.

Terrific.

It's not gonna fit dude.

We got everything?

This is it man.

It's everything.

This'll fit in there.

Is this the new PA?

Yep.

Oh good, he can give us a hand.

We need it.

Hey! There she is!

I'm good, how are you?

I'm good too.

Lily, I want you to meet Andrew.

This is our director.

Hi Andrew, Lily.

This is my brother Mark.

Hey Mark.

Mark, this is Lily, our new PA.

I'd shake your hand, but..

you're filming.

Yeah.

It is very expensive sound gear.

Good stuff, top shelf stuff here,

probably seen these, you know,

on set, people do that.

This is my boom stick.

Shop smart, shop s-mart.

Okay, good point, except

that's not gonna be enough.

Hundreds, thousands of

movies get made every year,

never seen the light of day

because they don't have

a huge movie star or

big special effects,

which we don't have the budget for,

so we have to find a way to

make people pay attention to us.

We need to generate free publicity.

Okay.

But how do you do that?

How do you make free press?

Well, the way I see it,

there are two ways to do it.

One, create controversy, right.

You piss the right people off,

they will write about you.

So, I got to thinking,

you know what,

let's write in like a

pedophile catholic priest,

that'll get the catholics all

riled up.

Don't do that though.

I'm not going to.

Oh my god.

Because there is another

way to get free press,

and that is to be the

first at something.

Okay

Sharknado! Yes? Right?

Deadly aquatic life forms,

deadly weather patterns,

first movie to combine them,

total piece of sh*t as a film,

but it sold at afm last

year based on the concept..

Wait, I know, but again,

I feel like

"Piece of sh*t" is not

what we're goin' for.

Of course not, but what if we

make a kick a*s scary movie,

and we are also the first

at something noteworthy.

That would be like the

best of both worlds.

Right? Come for the concept,

stay for the great film.

Okay, so what are we gonna be

the first to do?

Get ready to have your minds blown.

Hold onto your knickers, because

as of this morning we are

no longer just sh**ting

the greatest found footage

horror movie ever made.

We are sh**ting...

Drum roll.

Drum roll, can I get a drum roll?

I don't do sound effects.

He's not gonna stop

until you drum roll.

Trust me you are going to

want to be doing a drum roll

when you find out.

Okay, okay. Very good.

We are sh**ting the first ever

found footage horror movie...

In 3D.

What?

We're sh**ting in 3D.

We're sh**ting in 3D?

We are sh**ting in 3D.

How are we sh**ting in 3D?

That's what I'm showing you.

Check it out,

this is the camera, look at it.

No, I'm sorry... right lens,

left lens.

Just like in reality.

I mean, how does that even

make sense in the story?

Why would your character film

in 3D?

Why wouldn't he film in 3D?

Well, because in the premise

of Spectre Of Death..

Spectre Of Death 3D.

That's very good, okay,

in the premise of the film,

it's a vacation video.

So, who shoots their

vacation videos in 3D?

I don't know...

Japanese people?

He's probably accurate.

No, okay, whatever,

my character is now a filmmaker.

I'm not a documentarian.

I sh**t everything in 3D,

I'm a 3D enthusiast.

That's not a thing.

It is now.

Look at this.

Ah, that's pretty cool.

The monitor's in 3D too,

look at this, mark.

Look, watch.

What?

Do somethin'.

That's terrific.

Because not only are we

sh**ting the first ever

found footage horror movie in 3D.

We are also sh**ting the first ever

behind the scenes documentary...

also in 3D.

How much did you spend on this thing?

Doesn't matter.

We can return it.

Do you have enough batteries

for this thing?

Dude, quit pissing in the pool,

and just get into it already.

Look at that, you're hanging

onto a goldmine right there.

It's beautiful, don't get me wrong.

This is a very impressive gimmick.

I wish you would've told

me about this sooner.

I wish I had thought of it sooner.

I still vote for the pedophile priest.

We're not doing the pedophile priest

Ahh.

It's like I can touch you.

I feel like, you know,, it's...

Alright, so apparently we're sh**ting

the first ever found footage

horror film in 3D,

and I've got about 12 hours

to figure out how this thing works,

and to rearrange my whole plan

for how I'm gonna sh**t it...

in 3D.

Hey Carl.

3D.

That has absolutely

no effect on sound.

Derek?

Yo.

It's gettin' a little late.

Yeah, it is.

Well, we still don't

have our lead actress.

Yeah, no sh*t, tell me somethin' new.

Do you want me to call her?

Do whatever the f*ck you wanna do.

What does that even mean?

I'll call her.

Can you? Thank you.

It's just gonna be a little tough

to do the film without her.

It's gonna be a lot tough

to do the film with her,

trust me.

Derek and Amy,

I've worked with several times.

The last time we worked together

was probably about six months ago

on the indiegogo campaign.

Right around the time

that their marriage

was finally, um...

How do I put it delicately?

It's appropriate that we

are filming a horror movie.

Andrew, hi, sorry I'm late.

No worries, you're fine,

you're here.

Can we get you anything?

You want water?

You want something to eat?

No, I'm okay.

I'm sorry, I'm just late.

You're fine, no worries.

What's this? The behind the scenes?

A little bit, yeah.

Yeah.

What?

Mark!

Hi! Is that you?

Oh, it's so good to see you.

It's good to see you too.

How's it goin'?

Good.

Andrew.

Okay, so are you excited to

be here?

Yes, yeah, it feels

really good to be here.

I'm excited to be working

with Derek again,

and Andrew's a wonderful director,

and just glad to be

on a feature again.

I've been doing a lot of..

Hold on, sorry,

I need to adjust your mic.

I wasn't really expecting

to be doing this right now anyway.

I'm not really made up.

It's fine, you look fine.

You look...

You look b-b-...

You look beautiful.

Thank you.

Can I ask you a question?

Mmm-hmm.

Did Derek say anything to

you about me, or us at all?

I'm just trying to piece out why

he asked me to still do this.

After everything, it just

seemed a little strange.

And I don't know, I thought

maybe... you guys are close,

and he said something.

Did he?

Nope.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Here we go! En route!

Is he sleeping?

Yeah.

Lily, do you have the forks?

The forks?

Don't.

Awe, leg cramp, oh god.

Here director.

Hey.

How long till we actually make

it to the actual location?

About an hour and a half.

Where did you find this place anyway?

Amy's family owns it.

Her uncle or somethin' built

it during the depression.

She's asleep.

Very funny, Derek, hilarious.

Is this good?

Yeah.

Okay.

So basically,

just talk about how you

became involved with

the Spectre Of Death.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, I met Derek at

a party last week,

and he asked me if I wanted

to come help out on the film,

and told me that it was

gonna be a horror film,

and I absolutely love horror films,

so I couldn't pass it up.

And yeah, I don't really

know what I'm doing,

but I'm learning a lot,

so that's really really cool.

I've done YouTube stuff,

but I don't think that counts,

and this is like lights, and every..

check this sh*t out. There's a couple of

old dudes back there sittin on the porch

straight out of f*ck' deliverance.

Get the camera.

For the behind the scenes?

No, we're gonna sh**t em'.

We're gonna sh**t the movie.

Wait, really?

Yeah, yeah, dude go.

You've got nothin' to lose..

they're not actors.

It's gonna awesome, dude.

Wait'll you see these guys.

Get the camera.

Alright.

So, this is how this is gonna happen.

I'm gonna call action,

and then Derek here

is going to ask you

for directions to a farm nearby,

and we need you to tell us

to stay away from the farm.

It's a bad place and bad

things happen.

Just tell us to stay away.

Sound good?

Yeah.

Is this candid camera?

No, no Sir,

that show hasn't been

around for a long time.

We just want that ominous

dark feeling like,

"Oh, we're goin' into a

bad place, stay away."

Right, sound good?

Yeah, okay.

Alright, here we go,

we're gonna give this a shot.

And action.

Hey, we're lookin',

do you guys know

how to get to like the old

Buford Farm out there?

Yeah I do, you go down this

way to the y,

and you take a left..

Cut, cut!

Okay, thank you.

So... we need you to tell

us to stay away from there.

You don't really want the directions.

That's right, that's right.

We want it to be like a warning.

We say, "How do you get there?"

And you're like,

"You stay away from there."

Yeah, I got you now.

Alrighty, we still slated,

speed, and... action.

Good afternoon.

Yeah, howdy.

Do you guys know how to get

out to the..

You don't wanna go out there,

it's scar..

Cut, cut!

I'm sorry, he just needs to be

able to get the question out.

Oh yeah.

Yeah, alright,

so we'll take this again.

All set, and action.

Good afternoon.

Afternoon.

Do you know how to get,

we're trying to find old man

Buford's Place,

I think, that's out there?

Yeah, I know how to find it.

It's out there.

And you don't wanna go out there.

Woooooo!

Why not?

Why not go out there?

I'll tell you why not...

Bad things happen out there.

Yeah, bad things.

Alrighty, and cut.

Thank you guys.

That is what we like to call awesome.

Thank you gentlemen.

That was fantastic.

You guys are amazing.

One in a million.

Happy to help.

Thank you guys.

Thank you.

Sign the release form.

What kind of movie did you

say this was?

It's a horror film.

Oh really, and one of them,

what do they call them?

t*rture porns? Like Saw?

No, it's a ghost story.

Yeah, it's found footage.

And you're filming here in Gonzales?

A little ways away.

It's an old place off of

Route 12.

You're not talking about

old Rufus Mitchell's Place

up there on the lake, are you?

Yeah, I guess, I think so.

No, no, no.

You don't go to that place.

No.

Okay, thank you.

Have a great day.

That was weird.

Wait a second,

are you saying that the place

we're actually going to is haunted?

No, it's not actually haunted.

Stories, what stories?

Okay, so then it is haunted.

I mean... that's how a

haunted place gets..

No, it's just like old family

superstition bullshit or whatever.

Everything you're saying

makes it sound worse.

I'm just saying, you know,

you've got young people

who have never been on a movie set,

and you're bringing them out...

You don't bring a film

crew to a haunted house

to film a horror movie.

Have you not seen, like...

Every horror movie ever?

Dude, it's just old local kid

scary stories

that they try to spook

themselves with.

Kids? Those are the oldest kids

I've ever seen in my life.

Those were not kids

telling us a story.

The f*cking cast of Cocoon is

freaked out

by this place, right?

So it's just not cool

is all I'm saying, because you

know, she's freaked out now,

and it's just not cool to do that.

That's it.

Not cool.

Yep.

This is us?

This is us, I believe.

Mark, you're getting all this, yeah?

Oh sh*t, there it is.

Holy sh*t.

Are you serious?

Oh, it looks so cool.

Holy sh*t.

Wow.

You first.

Whoa.

This is crazy!

Wow, this is great.

Nope.

Nothing?

We have status zero on the

electricity at the moment.

Look at this old piano.

Oh my god, no way.

Whoo!

That's cool.

No, I don't think so.

Wow, it's just like somebody...

left it.

Ugh, look at this fridge.

Oh god, oh.

It smells bad.

That smells horrible.

Oh sh*t.

Wow.

Amy, well done.

What's that?

Hmm?

What's that?

What's what?

What is that?

Oh Jesus.

Maybe it's just, they spilled something?

That's disturbing.

It's not a spill.

Whoa, we got light.

Found the breaker!

What, the chair?

No no no.

No, the stain.

What? I mean, it's an old place.

It's gonna have some stains

and stuff.

Nothing.

There's a bunch of weird

stuff around, look,

there's water stains there.

Carl?

Hey Carl?

Carl?

What? What?

Do you hear that?

Hear what?

Shh. Listen.

What the f*ck is that?

I don't know, but where's your

sound gear?

It's moving.

Whatever it is, it's f*cking moving.

Moving?

What are you guys doing?

Shh.

What are you doing?

Shh, listen.

What's goin' on?

Some creepy f*ck' sounds is

what's goin' on.

That's fine, sh*t,

it's country noises,

just go back to sleep.

That was not a f*ck'

country noise!

No, no it wasn't.

What are you doing, Andrew?

Hey, what are you doin'?

It's fine, don't worry about it.

You don't go investigate!

Have fun out there.

Mark.

Shh, you guys aren't seriously

going out there are you?

Yeah, I guess he wants me to film

our last moments for posterity.

Stay close.

f*ck, f*ck!

What?

Was that a deer?

It was a deer, dude.

Awe man.

Dude, Jesus,

what the f*ck was that?

Awe f*ck, man.

What was that?

Hello?!

Andrew?

Okay, okay, okay, shh, shh.

Jesus.

Oh no.

Oh come on, f*ck.

Oh come on, man, come on.

What the f*ck is that?

What the f*ck is that?

Aww!

sh*t!

What the f*ck? Derek?

Ow. Damnit.

Oh f*ck, you broke it.

We broke it?

Yeah, look at it.

Jesus Christ.

Did you guys hear those creepy sounds?

That's very cute,

that's very cute.

Hey, don't tell anybody else, okay?

This is our little creepy

secret, alright?

I just wanna set the

vibe for the sh**t.

Get the tone right, okay?

That's terrific, cute.

Hey, the first scare is

always a false scare, right?.

Did that come out

It sure did.

A little maple syrup stain.

Hi mark.

My arm's about to fall off.

It doesn't feel heavy at first,

does it, but then...?

Uh-uh.

There it is.

Okay, good, you guys getting

the editing bay set up?

These are so gross.

Jesus!

So, basically, the script was

written by myself and Derek.

Uh..

What?

Nope, nothin', nevermind.

No, what?

No, it's just, I mean,

you came up with

the back story for your character.

I wrote several finished scenes.

You tweaked some of what

I had already written.

Can we not do this on camera please?

Anyway, so yes,

we play a husband and wife

who come out to this

cabin in central Texas

that she inherited

from her Great Uncle..

and my character is a

documentarian, a 3D enthusiast,

and I work too hard so my

wife resents me for it,

and with our relationship on

the verge of disintegrating

we come out here to reconnect.

But of course, they find more

than they bargained for.

Really, the way I see it,

it's as much about the deterioration

of their relationship as

it is about anything,

you know, supernatural.

The ghost, or the monster,

whatever you wanna call it,

is a metaphor, although,

there are rumors that the

house is actually haunted.

Haunted by what?

So, apparently, the previous

owner of the house, who's..

my character's Great Uncle.

Yes, he m*rder*d his wife,

and then dumped the body in

the lake behind the cabin.

So, there's a hint that maybe there's..

Wait, wait a second.

This is a true story, isn't it?

For real? Seriously guys,

you brought us to a

cabin that's haunted

in the middle of the woods

where a husband m*rder*d his wife

to sh**t a movie about a

husband murdering his wife

at a haunted cabin in the woods?

Yep, yep.

For reals?

Yeah.

Do you mind if we actually

do the interview, Carl?

Sure, no, go ahead.

Pull up your pants.

Seriously, though... am I

being a big wuss about all this?

Um...

I actually believe in all that stuff.

I've seen a ghost.

For real?

Yeah.

When I was a little kid.

Right hand to god.

That's something you don't

ever really forget, you know?

And what is this by the way?

Are we suddenly a British production?

The Spectre Of Death.

Are we gonna see this

movie in the the-atre?

Yeah, it's terrifying actually.

I was reading it at night,

which is a big mistake, and yeah,

I had nightmares,

really really awful nightmares.

So I guess it's doing what

it's supposed to be doing.

Because we want them

to establish morning,

so I think the natural

light works here.

I think this will be great.

Carl, does it work for you?

Hmm, the fridge is

gonna be a problem.

Why?

The hum. We'll have to

unplug it during sh**ting.

So, in every found footage film,

we have to answer two questions,

the first of which is

"Why are we filming?"

"What excuse do we have for having

a camera document everything?"

That's usually answered

pretty early in the movie,

usually the first scene,

which we're actually

about to do right now.

And the second question?

The second question

is exactly the same

as the first question

but for the third act.

It's usually "Why the f*ck

haven't you put the camera down,

and run the hell away?"

If you answer that one wrong,

the whole third act just

completely falls apart.

So, can you give us a preview

to the answer?

Actually no, not at the moment.

Why not?

There's no ending.

It actually stops dead on page 71

in the middle of a scene.

I don't know if he has

an ending in mind,

you know, if he's just

trying to keep it secret

like they do in the

big tentpole movies,

the ones that people actually

give a sh*t about seeing.

Yeah, no, we don't have

an ending right now,

but that's okay.

I mean, hey, worked on

apocalypse now, right?

What?

Really?

Coppola?

Yeah.

You're comparing yourself to Coppola?

He doesn't have an ending.

It's great, no, it's good,

it's good.

I don't mind, I do, well, hmm.

Oh, oh, yeah,

that makes sense now.

I'm gonna do it like this

so you can see my profile.

Here we go, Spectre Of Death,

we're about to sh**t the very

first scene of our movie.

Scene one, take one.

Action!

That's good, right?

Oh, she loves it.

This woman loves cleaning,

she can't stop cleaning.

Thank you Derek,

for bringing me to a dirty

old cabin in the woods.

Thank you Derek for bringing

me to a dirty

old cabin in the woods.

You're welcome, anytime.

Babe?

Yes.

You promised you weren't

going to bring

that stupid camera.

Whoopsy.

We're supposed to be on vacation.

I know, we are on vacation though.

This is in fact our vacation video.

This is you, this is

the sink, this is us.

It has absolutely nothing to do

with that stupid ghost..

Sorry, wait, cut for a second.

Yeah, we dropped that.

What?

We don't have that.

Did you not get the changes?

No, what changes?

Lily gave you the pages

yesterday, no?

I left them on your sleeping bag.

Well, you don't just leave

a script laying around,

and hope that people see it.

I'm sorry.

You hand them to the actor personally.

Fair enough, that's okay,

we can solve it now, we have 'em.

I didn't wanna wake you up.

It's fine, it's fine.

Well, I didn't get them.

Can you just look over it

real fast?

Sure, sure, sure.

We are rebooting scene one.

We'll do a reboot,

and then take it from the top.

Hmm.

No, this is no good.

Okay, what's the matter?

Well, the writing sucks, for one.

Eh, Amy, what are you?

There's nothin' wrong with

the scene.

Well, I wrote the scene the way

that I wrote it for a reason.

Structurally, we need to

establish the

"Before" of their relationship..

I know, but we also need to show

that there's a little bit of conflict..

We need to show that we're in love.

I know, and in that

love there is conflict.

That is part of what's

gonna happen later.

Okay, well, you have us

screaming at each other

for two solid pages.

I don't have us screaming at

each other,

I just have us butting

heads a little bit.

A little bit?

We have exclamation points

at the end of every sentence.

Exclamation points are just emphasis

for the conflict that's coming.

It's the soul of drama, that's all.

The soul of drama?

That's super cute, Derek.

Did you get that out of one

of your

$12 Internet screening

writing courses?

You know, I don't exactly

need to take a course

to write a scene where you

act like a total b*tch, do I?

Guys, guys, guys.

Hmm, this is typical,

this is so typical, Derek James.

You can't even pretend to be

in love with me, can you?

Well, I did it for four years.

You gonna cry now?

Yeah, okay, I did it,

I stepped on a landmine,

here come the crocodile tears.

Everybody give her attention.

How could you even say that

to me?

Oh what, now it's all my

f*ck' fault.

Is this the same bullshit we

go to?

D-D-Derek.

Du-du-du! If you got

somethin' to say mark,

why don't you spit

it the f*ck out?!

No?

Okay, let's all take a deep

breath, it's hot.

Let's just cool off here.

Amy, it's a few small changes.

If you could just look

it over real fast,

and just, we'll give you two minutes.

You know what, f*ck it.

Nevermind, we will sh**t it

her way.

Alright, are you sure?

Yes, I am absolutely positive.

Okay.

My wife says we are in love,

we are in love.

Three, two, one, action.

Hey sweetheart, see my new camera?

You are in 3D.

Reach for the camera,

do it like this, whoo.

Day one.

It's been awhile since I've

been on a set like this.

What do you mean?

Well, normally, I work on bigger,

more professional productions.

I turned down a Ben Affleck

movie to be here.

Really?

Mmm-hmm, really.

Why?

Well, Derek helped me out a

few years ago

financially when I needed that,

and I'm returning the favor, so...

Plus, I f*ck' hate Ben Affleck.

There's a definite short hand,

I think,

when you're working with

someone so closely

that you know so well.

There's a chemistry and a history

that sort of lends itself

to the script, I think.

Are you worried about all the fighting

you're going to have to

do later on in the sh**t?

No, no, absolutely not.

We're both professionals.

This is acting, it's just pretending.

Okay, thank you,

I think we got it.

Great.

Ah, Mr. Mark here.

Mark, do you ever put that

thing down?

Yes.

Do you?

Yeah, I do. To sleep.

There's peanut butter jelly sandwich,

peanut butter jelly sandwich,

I wanted to die.

Peanut butter's good.

Yeah, have it f*ck' 35 times

in two weeks.

I have it for breakfast every morning.

Okay, are you a peasant?

Running for their lives

from whatever it is,

not just start beating

whatever is chasing

them to death with the camera.

It's like w*r journalists,

they stay there while

the bombs are going off,

while b*ll*ts are flying over

their head,

and they keep filming,

they keep filming in the moment.

Why don't they just run?

Because they gotta keep filming.

Yeah, they're also well paid.

Why do we keep watching?

Why do we keep watching?

And between the two mediums,

found footage,

and you know, w*r, in both scenarios,

it's f*cked up, but in both scenarios

I know a majority of them

aren't coming home.

I know that those guys very

well might die in the w*r,

and we know that everyone's

dying in found footage.

Okay...

Hey, Spectre Of Death fans.

I don't have Wi-Fi or Internet,

so I won't be able to upload

this anytime soon.

Maybe when we go into town.

But I just wanted to document

something a little weird

that I found in some of

the footage from today.

I'm not making this up,

this is real,

it's not part of the movie,

at least not as far as I know.

I did it, I stepped on the land mine,

here come the crocodile tears.

There.

See that?

It's sort of in the...

I don't know maybe it's nothing,

but I definitely don't

remember anything or anyone

being there this afternoon

when we were sh**ting.

Plus.. and this is the

weirdest part..

whatever it is..

again?

Jesus, Derek. Give it a rest.

I guess that was a real animal

that time

because Derek's still in his

sleeping bag in the other...

O-Kay...

That's super weird.

Guys, please be careful of snakes.

Snakes?

Mark's how's this all showing

up lighting wise?

This is good, right?

Yeah, the lighting's great.

In the trees, you know,

boom boom boom boom.

Oh yeah, that's great.

Yeah, you see that?

So, she's like, "f*ck you!"

Boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom.

Spectre flashes.

Okay, okay.

So, today we have the first

appearance of the Spectre.

Which is?

The villain of the movie,

the ghost, or entity,

or whatever that inhabits the cabin.

How do you plan on doing the Spectre?

Well, I wanted to do

it as a practical effect

because I think..

a guy in a Spectre Suit

would look Ret*rded.

Yes, well bad CG will

look more Ret*rded.

Who says it's gonna be bad CG?

We can't afford good CG.

We'll find out.

I'm sorry, I kicked it in the river.

You kicked it in the river?

I didn't mean to kick it in

the river,

it just fell in the river.

It fell in the river when

I was trying to get lunch.

So, we don't have a map?

We don't have a map,

we're a little bit lost right now,

but it can't be that hard..

I'll just lead the way, don't worry.

You can't lead the way if you

don't know

where you're going.

Oh my god!

How was that?

Um...

What would you say the Spectre is?

I don't know,

and I don't think I wanna know.

I mean, I have my ideas.

I think everybody's gonna have

their ideas,

but I kind of hope that they

don't wrap it up neatly.

I would say that the

Spectre is probably

the fictional couple's

own negative energy

that's physically manifested,

like maybe their relationship dysfunction

is so big and horrible

for everyone around them

that it has actually

ripped open a hole

to the Gateway Of Hell.

So I think if we put it here...

What do you think?

Absolutely, yeah, because

we wanna be able to have

people come through the door,

and the fridge will block that,

and I think that's good.

The only problem here is that

I think

this is where the whole 3D

part kind of

falls apart a little bit.

What do you mean the

3D thing falls apart?

Well, when the audience is

watching the

surveillance footage it's

not gonna make sense

to them if it's not in 3D.

Yeah, but why wouldn't it be

in 3D?

What do you mean it's not in 3D?

Well, I mean, that won't make sense.

What won't make sense?

There's no such thing as

a 3D surveillance camera.

We don't know that.

No, I do, I looked it up.

Okay, well, there should be.

Agreed, but there's not.

Okay, you know what,

do you have two GoPros?

I have several.

Great, take two, stick em' together,

left eye, right eye, stereo,

3D, boom,

that's your problem solved.

I mean, I get it,

I just think you're

missing the point a little bit.

What I think you're doing

is pissing in the pool again,

don't over think it.

Audiences, stupid, you,

making it happen, 3D.

Okay, fair enough,

I'll give it a shot.

This might actually work.

It's a ridiculous idea,

but it might actually work.

Sweet.

Just talk about what makes sh**ting

a found footage movie

different from sh**ting..

a real movie?

Basically, the task in

a found footage movie

is to take really good sound,

and make it sound as

shitty as possible.

And just job well done on that.

I mean, that's the thing right,

with found footage you don't

need to worry about

lights, and grips,

and all that crap.

You can just go out in the

woods, sh**t the movie,

and it's brilliant because

you get away with it,

and it makes you look

like the genius.

Oh, we're just running

around with a camera,

we don't know what we're doing,

and so it's like, "Well,

the light's crap,

"And the sound's crap."

Be like, "Exactly, but guess

who's paying for it? Boom."

We shouldn't use that one.

It is different, definitely,

but I think ultimately

all acting is about

finding the truth in the moment.

Whether that's improving

for a found footage film

or belting out a Broadway musical,

I..

Okay, let's take that again.

Oh, okay, yeah, sure.

Whenever you're ready.

Yes, it is different

I will say that..

Hey guys, we're doing an interview.

Awesome, keep it up.

You know what, sweetheart,

why don't we just do

this another time.

Yeah, sure.

So, Amy and I come in,

she's talking about her uncle,

though she's being cagey and evasive,

not telling me the whole story,

then she hints at the ominous

back story of it.

We get to like right over there,

I think right where Lily is,

and that's when the shovel falls,

almost hits Amy in the head.

Audience jumps out of their seat.

Nice.

I love it when things do that.

Like a cat? Is it a "Pop Scare"?

It's called a Jump Scare!

It's called a Jump Scare,

and I think it's probably one

of the most

over used cliches in horror movies.

That's why we're using it.

You might as well just have a cat.

We don't have a f*ck' cat,

we have a shovel.

No, I think it's lazy filmmaking,

Andrew, I think you would agree.

It's bad writing done by hacks

who can't even write a script

that unsettles on a deeper level.

You know what, actually,

it's meant to appease

audience members who are just

too stupid to know better.

Okay.

I don't think it's worth it.

We need to have some kind of

moment where it snaps.

That's not really,

that's not a fair thing

for you to say to me, okay.

I mean, what did I ever..

Jesus! sh*t, oh my god!

Lily? Lily?

Oh my god, Lily?

Is she okay?

No, no, don't.

Lily are you okay?

Hey, answer Lily.

Do you hear us?

Do you hear us?

Okay, okay.

No, no, don't move your head around.

Don't move your head around.

Listen, who am I?

Who am I?

It's okay, it's just a little blood,

don't worry about it.

She's bleeding.

Hey, how many fingers do I

have up?

Two.

Okay, what's your name?

Lily.

Okay, what's my name?

Carl.

Do you know where you are?

Yeah.

Okay, look, let's get you up slow.

Sit up real slow, okay,

how's your neck?

Here, go real slow,

let me hold your neck for you.

Oh Jesus.

Okay, you dizzy?

No, you're not dizzy?

Okay, okay,

put your arm around me, come on.

Give me your other arm.

That's good.

I hope she's okay.

Derek, I don't care, if she

needs to go to the hospital..

I would take her.

Are you..

Lily, hey Lil.

Look at you, hey, should we

take you to the hospital?

Lily, be honest.

I'll take you,

we'll jump in the car right now

if you need to go.

No, I'm fine, I'm fine.

Yeah?

She's...

You're a big trooper?

Alright, there we go.

She's fine,

it's just a bump on the head.

You sure you okay?

You're okay?

I mean, do you have a headache?

Why don't you get some water?

Huh?

Why don't you get some water?

Okay.

Please.

I don't know, I just,

I hope she's okay.

She seems like a really nice girl.

That was definitely weird.

Not just me freakin'

out about nothing.

That was, you know.

These things do happen.

I mean, you talk to any

of the big directors,

you know, you watch their

director's cuts like,

sh*t happens people get hurt,

they get banged up.

The important thing is she's okay,

and we can keep moving forward.

And, you know, not over react.

That's terrible.

It's true though.

It's just I don't know if it's

worth us stopping the flow

of the story for a full minute

while you deliver the third

act exposition.

I'm not stopping the flow of

the story,

I'm telling them what's happening.

We're letting the audience

know what's happened,

so they're not confused when

they leave the theater.

I was hoping for something

a little bit more ambiguous,

let them have something

to talk about..

they're gonna be talking

about how great the movie is,

not oh my god, I don't know

what the hell just happened.

We should be letting them

decide for themselves

what the Spectre is instead

of telling them.

Blair Witch.

People are gonna think we

don't know

what it is if we don't tell them.

"They don't even know their

own movie."

If we leave it vague,

we can add to the mythology

of it.

We can build on it in a sequel.

Charge them another ten bucks?

Sure.

Thirteen bucks, 3D.

3D, that's right.

Imax. 15, f*ck it, go big.

Exactly.

Alright, I get it.

Yes, okay, I will bring it in,

make it a little more vague.

Okay, just do it quickly, Derek,

we have very little time left.

Oh, okay, thank you.

You still awake too?

Yeah, just cutting together

some footage for the Facebook page.

Mmm-hmm.

Please don't.

No, come on.

It's only fair...

Watching the watcher.

Nice, it's very... meta.

So Mark, how are you?

You working on anything?

No, just this.

I think you should make

another short.

We should make a short,

you and me.

Uh, mmm, yeah.

Okay, well don't sound so enthusiastic.

No, no, no, that's not..

Sweetheart, I'm teasing, I know.

It beats working with Derek, anyway.

I mean, I don't know, I think,

I know there's been

a lot of friction,

but I don't know, maybe

there's something more.

I think Derek and I are finally

understanding each other a

little bit.

Well, we still don't have our

lead actress.

What's this?

Turn it up.

That's nothing.

No, turn it up, turn it up.

Amy.

No, come on, what is it?

I wanna see it.

Please.

Do you want me to call her?

Do whatever the f*ck you wanna do.

What does that even mean?

I'll call her.

Can you? Thank you.

It's just gonna be a little tough

to do the film without her.

It's gonna be a lot tough

to do the film with her,

trust me.

Should have my head examined

for casting her in the first place.

Is that it?

Amy.

Is that all he said?

I don't think that this is something...

Just play it.

Amy.

Play it.

Mark, play it.

Just make sure you erase that

file, okay.

Yes, when I dump the cards.

Alright.

So, why did you anyway?

Why did I what?

Cast Amy.

Because I'm a f*ck' idiot.

I signed a contract before we

were separated,

and no thank you,

I do not want another lawsuit.

So, you're not trying to get

back together with her?

No, sweet Jesus Christ,

I am not trying to get back together.

Speaking of Satan Incarnate.

I'm sorry.

Me too.

I don't know why I'm surprised.

I mean, I'm being an idiot right?

It's over.

Is it?

What?

What?

I...

I'm sorry, what was the question?

Nevermind, I probably

don't wanna know anyway.

Good night.

You are a f*cking liar.

I am not a liar, Amy!

I live in the truth.

It's you that makes up sh*t..

excuse me, if you could

keep it in your pants

we would not even be here!

Oh really, you know why

I can't keep my pants,

it's because you are

such a frigid b*tch

that I have no f*ck' place..

f*ck you!

Oh my god, I'm so sorry,

are you okay?

I'm so sorry, oh my god.

Amy, what are you f*ck' doing?

I'm sorry..

Guys, guys, do it again,

take it again.

I know we got the f*ck' take.

Amy, we're right in the

middle of the scene!

Do you not know how to

commit to the moment?

Take it again.

No, I can't do this right now.

No, Amy please, use this

to fuel your emotions.

Yes, definitely,

actually acting, you know.

Derek, Derek..

Mark, shut the f*ck up!

Oh my god, listen, you guys,

thank you all

for your help and suggestions,

but please keep your opinions

to yourself

unless you are asked, okay.

Thank you, alright, fine,

let's go again.

No, I can't do this right now,

I just..

oh come on Amy,

will you grow the f*ck up?

This is the problem every god

damn time!

It's an emotional f*cking

roller coaster

because you are not willing

to do it you f*cking c**t!

Every time we..

f*ck!

You okay?

Andrew, what...?

What just, what the f*ck happened?

I don't know, I have no idea.

Did you arm the gag?

No, no, no,

I turned it off before we,

right when we said cut.

I think I did.

I mean, why the f*ck is it?

No, dude it's...

It's not even f*cking plugged in.

What do you mean it's not

plugged in? It just went off.

It has to be f*cking

plugged in, it just...

Well then, how did it f*cking..

I don't know, I don't know.

It's off and I unplugged it.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Where's Amy?

Seriously, that was f*ck' creepy.

Seriously.

It was a malfunction, it happens.

What? No...

You cannot say it was

a malfunction now

because you just told us

that there was no way

in hell it was a f*ck' malfunction.

Well, clearly it happened,

so let's please just make sure

it doesn't happen again, alright.

At the same time Amy lost her sh*t.

You think that's a coincidence

that it f*ck' happened.

It wasn't a ghost if that's

what you're saying,

I mean, I don't know man,

maybe the sound

of her voice triggered the wiring.

Right, the sound of her voice.

What do you want me to say?

The house is haunted,

we're all gonna die.

I just want you to admit

that it was f*ck' creepy.

Creepy?

Creepy.

Yeah.

Yes, it was very f*ck' creepy.

Thank you.

sh*t, f*ck' again, Derek?

I'm never gonna sleep normal.

That is Amy.

Yeah, yeah.

k*ll it, k*ll it.

m*therf*cker.

Son of a b*tch, he's raping her!

He is not.

Why the f*ck did you stop?

as*h*le, f*ck you.

f*ck you!

Let's go. Come on.

Mark, come on.

Morning.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Hey.

Good morning, everybody.

I'm sure it'll be fine.

I mean, should I smear,

or should I just pat?

Just dab it on a little bit.

Does that hurt when I touch?

No, it's fine.

It's too dark?

Hmm. Should we try this one?

Sure, try that one.

This may not even work.

We'll just write it into the script.

Amy?

Babe, are you out here?

Amy?

Amy!?

Oh sh*t.

Amy.

Amy?

Babe?

sh*t, oh god. Baby, I think

you're sleepwalking again.

Oh sh*t,

what happened to your face?

You must've hit something.

Your eye's all banged up, here,

come inside.

Oh yeah.

See that?

It's good.

It's good, it'll work.

Alright.

You're amazing, you know that?

You're gonna scare everybody.

Listen...

I know that it's been a stressful

couple days out here.

It's been a little bit trying

with the conditions as they are,

and we don't wanna get caught

up in the blame game

pointing fingers because we are

all in this together, okay?

So, in the interest of keeping

that collegial spirit

I say that we all get cleaned up,

and head out onto the road,

Route 4,

there's a little bar there,

and let's go get ourselves

sloppy drunk.

On my dime.

Alright, what do you say?

I'll be in the Van.

I'm gonna hit my head!

You're only gonna hit your

head if you do it wrong.

Look out, look out, look out!

Oh!

I've already hit it before.

Mark, come on!

Put the camera down for once.

Come have a drink, have some fun.

Derek James, b*tch!

Yes yes yes.

No thanks.

Mark, as director, you're

giving me the camera.

Give me the camera.

To the man behind the camera!

To the man behind the scenes.

And to all of you for an amazing

week and a half of sh**ting.

Well, I have some rather big news

to share with everyone at the table.

The illustrious and very

influential Scott Weinberg

is coming to do a story on

the film.

Scott Weinberg from Fearnet?

This film? Our film?

Our film.

How in the hell did you swing that?

Oh, I have my ways.

He's a swinger.

You lied to him...

No, no, I told him the

god's honest truth, I swear.

Well, maybe not all of it.

The last time he said

that I got herpes.

What was that?

It's gonna be a long day,

I'm just warning you.

No, that's okay, I don't mind,

but I think that...

If you're talking about production

in that kind of way then it's..

no, you made me miss! Derek!

Carl, you saw it, it was there..

That didn't last very long now,

did it?

What the f*ck is this?

What the f*ck?

Oh my god, oh no.

Did we get robbed?

Oh my god.

Animals?

I don't know,

it tore everything up.

Something must've got in.

Look at my gear, man!

What the f*ck!?

Awe, it's just like somebody f*ck'

just trashed everything.

Everything's here.

What the f*ck is that?

Ugh.

What is this?

Somebody must have broken in.

Should we call the cops?

We don't have cell service

how the f*ck are we

gonna call the cops?

There's nobody out here.

Nobody comes out.

Is anything missing?

I don't know.

No, nothing of mine is missing

from what I can tell.

I don't know.

This is your bullshit, right?

No, it's not my f*ck'

bullshit man.

Of course not.

Of course not, of course not!

Why would it be my bullshit?

Why is none of your stuff

even touched?

I was at the bar

the same as you!

I don't know why that's..

it's coincidence, just

like all the other

crazy f*ck' sh*t, right!?

I'm out of here tomorrow, I can't..

Oh great, oh yeah,

who are you kidding man?

You've been looking for an

excuse ever since day one.

That's because you took us

to a f*ck' haunted house!

Oh my god.

All this f*ck' weird

sh*t has been happening

ever since we f*ck' got here!

Since day one.

You had the crazy sh*t

with the dishes, with that!

f*ck' Lily almost died!

And now all my sh*t

is covered in slime!

God knows what the f*ck is

out there

making all those creepy

noises at night.

Hey, shut up, Andrew.

Hey, what did you say?

No no Andrew, don't shut up, what?

Nothing, nevermind, nevermind.

Okay, okay, so yeah,

that was you, great.

Fine, you know...

good luck with your movie.

I'm gonna go tomorrow,

and you know, god bless you.

Have fun. Well, you know what!

Good luck with your

Ben Affleck movie

when you don't have

your f*ck' gear!

What are you...

I own your gear Carl!

You gave me a f*ck' loan.

Right, and you didn't

pay that loan back,

so if you read the small

print in your contract

you would know that I

own your f*ck' gear,

and maybe you should wake

up and open your eyes

next time. That gear is mine.

You're a f*ck' as*h*le, man.

Yeah, I'm a f*ck' as*h*le?

Yeah.

You're a f*cking as*h*le!

Guys, let's just all go to sleep,

shall we?

Where is he gonna go?

Mark, are you kidding me.

I told you not to film that stuff.

Sorry.

Mark!

Just turn it the f*ck off dude.

Yeah.

He's a big boy.

He didn't have a car is the

only thing.

I know, I know.

Maybe he hitchhiked,

maybe he called a friend.

I'm sure he's halfway

to El Paso by now. I...

It sucks, it really f*ck' sucks.

Well, this part is on.

He always had these on too.

Do they each go on individually?

No, he would hit a button,

is it this?

Oh, okay!

Look at that, you're a natural.

Lily Pad, the sound woman.

Alright, well sh*t,

how hard can it be?

You just gotta hit record,

and point the microphone

at whoever's talkin'.

Yeah.

Good Amy, you ran, okay.

No, no, it's gotta be on her shoulder.

No, why would it be on her shoulder?

It's bouncing all over

the god damn place,

you can't even watch it.

That'll look too planned.

No one who's running for their life

will ever worry about getting..

are you personally gonna

go into the theater,

and clean up all the puke because

that's what's gonna happen

if you show it like that.

Especially in 3D, it's

gonna be barf city.

I don't even understand

why she's still

holding the f*ck' camera.

Why hasn't she thrown it away?

Because the movie would be over

if she puts the camera down!

Fine, well,

we need to come up with

a halfway decent excuse as to

why she's still recording.

She needs the light.

No, why is she still recording?

The light doesn't work

if she's not recording.

Yes it does.

That audience doesn't know that.

Yes they do!

Oh, thank you, oh I wondered!

The queen has spoken!

Now we know, oh good!

How about you Mark!

Do you have something

you wanna add to this?

Christ, I don't know what

everybody here started to think

this was some sort of democracy,

but we're doing it my way,

end of discussion!

I'm f*ck' sick of this!

Alright, Amy get the camera.

We're putting it on your shoulder,

and it's going to be stable there.

Carl, roll sound!

Let's go!

Action.

Honestly, why did your

brother even hire me?

I don't even understand

at this point.

He obviously wants to direct

the f*ck' thing himself.

I mean, what is the point

of making the first 3D

found footage horror movie

if it's just gonna suck?

If it's just...

Yeah, tensions are high on

any set,

but art, good art,

is never easy, and so yeah,

the long days do wear on you,

but I wouldn't trade my job

for any job in the world.

Ok, thanks.

That was total horse sh*t.

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

What what what?!

Oh sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t.

What the f*ck happened?

She's bleeding, she's bleeding!

Derek, Derek, Derek.

Awe f*ck!

What the hell happened?

Sorry, I don't know, I don't know.

Did an animal get her?

I don't know, god damn it.

Are you bleeding anywhere else?

I don't know!

It's okay, put pressure on,

put pressure on.

Amy, we're taking you to the hospital.

Yeah, oh my god!

Amy, Amy, Amy, it's okay.

Andrew!

Yeah?

Get her ID.

Got it!

Take your time, take your time.

Take it slow. You alright?

Jesus Christ,

you're just giving her

the negative attention she's after.

What is that supposed to mean?

Why do you think people cut themselves?

She didn't cut herself.

Right.

And she's never done it before either.

Kid, you do not know my wife nearly

as well as you think you do.

Do you ever sleep?

Again?

What are you watching this time?

An interview with my mother about

what a massive disappointment

i turned out to be?

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

I should have never let you..

It's fine, I'm sorry I said that.

How's your arm?

It's okay.

The doc gave me some pretty

bad a*s pain K*llers,

so I think I'll be fine.

What's that?

Make it bigger.

Did you film us sleeping?

No.

Mark, that's super creepy.

No, this wasn't me.

Somebody must have taken my camera.

There, see?

Oh my god, this is last night.

Do you think Derek did this?

I don't know.

I don't know, but this sh*t

is not funny anymore.

Okay, then it must've been Lily.

Right?

Or you.

It's not me.

It's not.

It's not me, Mark.

Who else could it be?

I don't know!

What?

Oh my god.

Who is doing this?

Why is someone filming me?

What the f*ck?

Oh my god!

What is that?

That's that mirror back there.

He doesn't have a camera!

How is he.. Holy f*ck!

What?!

Wave your arm again,

wave your arm again!

Turn it off,

just turn this sh*t off.

Turn it off, Mark!

It won't stop, it won't stop!

Shh, shh, shh.

Do you hear that?

I think it's saying something.

What the f*ck?

What's going on?

I don't know.

It just came..

What the f*ck?

Jesus Christ, are you okay?

No, I'm not okay.

It just flew at me.

Mark, are you okay?

What going on?

We were watching some weird

footage and..

You guys are screaming.

It just flew at me, just now.

It came in the room.

Amy, it's okay.

Amy, Amy, Amy, calm down.

Okay, Mark, what's happening?

We were watching some footage

from last night,

but I didn't take it..

Just show them.

You're watching new footage?

No it was something else..

Just show them! Please.

Okay. Here here here.

We were watching this interview,

and then it...

What are we watching?

It was right here.

Where'd it go?

Mark, where'd it go?

I don't know.

Just show them!

Just show them,

we just saw the video!

It cut my arm!

What cut your arm?

It just came in here,

in the room, and it flew.

What came in here in the room, Amy?

I don't know, I don't know,

it was big, it was black.

Amy please, Mark, Mark?

Was there anything in the room.

No, nothing..

You saw it!

You just saw it!

It was just in here.

No.

Yes, it just came at me!

Come on, it's on the camera,

just show them, please.

Amy, calm down!

It just flew..

Turn the camera off.

I'm not turning anything off.

Turn the f*ck' camera off!

I'm not talking about that Harpie

with the f*ck' camera on!

Don't!

Don't call her that.

Look, I will call her whatever

the f*ck I want to.

She's my wife.

Okay? Mine, not yours, my wife!

Oh yeah, you think that's

f*ck' funny?

You know what, go home,

you're fired.

Good.

Go home Mark!

I am.

And I'm taking Amy with me.

No, she stays.

She stays,

she's got two more days of filming,

we got Weinberg coming tomorrow,

she stays!

No, she doesn't.

I'm taking her away.

You're the big man?

You think she needs

you to protect her?

That wh*re can take

care of herself, Mark.

She's got you wrapped

around her little finger,

but let me tell you something,

she is not who you think she is,

she's the f*ck' Devil!

Right, oh yeah, you want that!

There's my tough guy,

huh, you little sh*t?!

You like that?!

She's f*ck' bat sh*t, Mark.

You watched the tape,

there's nothin' there,

she's f*ck' crazy!

f*ck off. I know what I saw!

Something really f*cked up

going on here,

and I don't know of you're

behind it or not or what, but...

I'm taking Amy away from

here before she gets hurt.

Oh.

Alright.

Look at Mr. Finally Grew-A-Pair.

Okay.

Just, ask her.

Ask her to choose between

you and her film career.

If she wants to go, you can go.

Good riddance to both of you.

Wouldn't hold your breath though.

Please, don't.

Please.

I'm gonna record everything,

okay, to protect you.

You're gonna need a better

excuse than that.

What?

To keep the camera running in

the third act, you're gonna...

We'll have to come up with something.

Please, just don't point at

me like an interview, then.

I told Derek we were leaving.

I'm gonna stay.

Amy.

Amy..

I have to.

Why?

I just do.

I just have to.

Okay.

Then I'm staying too.

No.

Yes.

I'm not leaving you here

by yourself, I'm not.

No, please.

You have to go.

Your brother is right,

I'm bad news,

and I don't deserve your help.

I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not.

I'm not going anywhere.

We got wheels guys, we got wheels.

Alright, game face time.

You got this Mark?

Let's go everybody!

Scott Weinberg, here we go!

How you doin'?

Scott, good to meet you.

Andrew Reed, nice to meet you.

Everybody, the legendary

Scott Weinberg!

Here on set!

Scott, and you are?

Lily.

Lily, great.

Really good to meet you.

How was the ride in, alright?

It was long, it was good..

bumpy, right?

Is this an off day, or...?

Heck no, we're just

about to get shootin'.

We've got everything

set up in there.

So, this is your crew?

Yeah, this is my crew.

Oh okay.

You think this is

high-budget Hollywood

in terms of how decrepit,

and dusty..

did you add the cobwebs?

Or did they come with this?

A little of Column A,

a little of Column B.

Four people making a feature film?

We had a little bit of

a bigger crew originally,

but things,

I just I think we just decided

to thin it out a bit.

You decided you didn't need props,

set, design, makeup..

Well, I mean,

look at what we got. This is...

Yeah, you can't fake this.

This is the real deal.

Would you like to see some of what

we've been working on actually?

Okay.

I think then you'll get a

better sense

of what we're trying to do here.

You out here?

Amy?

Amy.

Christ!

Hmm, let's do those interviews

why don't we.

Great, great, yes, perfect.

I'm so glad you came out,

thank you.

Yeah, thank you for inviting me.

What's with the eye?

What happened?

It's makeup.

Really!

Mmm-hmm.

That is impressive, and that too?

Of course.

Why don't you tell me what

you're sh**ting tonight

because I'm excited

to see you on set.

Mmm-hmm, well, this is

kind of the peak of drama,

I don't wanna give away the plot,

but you know, the marriage

between Derek and Amy

is sort of crumbling

and falling apart,

and this is a moment of recompense.

See, that's amazing that

you guys can pull that off

because you're clearly

crazy in love, you know.

It comes across if you can

play that you hate each other,

that's good acting.

Yes.

Yeah, I think that works

better than an argument,

we see the scene, and then

I turn into the demon,

and I k*ll you.

That's just a bit of

an abrupt ending, no?

Well, it's the nature of the genre.

I understand that,

but it's just so..

Wait a minute, why does my

character have to die at all?

No, of course you die, that's silly.

Why? Why can't I escape?

Well, because that's what

makes it "Found footage".

It's the one hard and fast

rule of found footage

is that everybody dies.

Otherwise Derek, it's just...

footage.

Yeah, no,

I'm not sure because I think

it might be more original if

I got away.

Look, everybody dies..

I'm all for originality,

but that doesn't make sense,

you both die,

so she's right.

Okay, if we just change a few things..

What we could do is...

I need to live.

Okay, whatever, that's good,

just figure it out

by tonight because

we're running out of script

by tomorrow, so.

I knew it man.

I knew this was gonna happen,

I knew it was gonna f*ck' happen,

and I didn't listen

and here I am,

and I'm sorry,

I know it's your brother,

but what f*ck' year does

he think it is, 2005?

I mean, f*ck, this genre has

had two halfway decent films,

two halfway decent films,

one of which was 15 f*ck'

years ago.

And every other found

footage film since then

has been complete bullshit.

I mean, why people waste

their f*ck' money

on this vomit-inducing

amateur-hour bullshit

is f*ck' beyond me, and yet,

here I am trying to make

something halfway decent,

a halfway decent found

footage horror film

that's different than

every other as*h*le

who's got a f*ck' iPhone,

and every f*ck' step of the way,

your f*ck' brother

c*ck blocks me! f*ck!

f*ck, f*ck, f*ck.

Please delete that.

Umm, I...

No, f*ck it, I don't care.

Alright, so this is it.

We are about to sh**t

the cl*max of the movie,

and if you look carefully

over there,

you will see, boom, hey,

Scott Weinberg from Fearnet,

who's joining us on

the set here today.

I should warn you that he

has been sworn to secrecy

about what he sees here today.

We told him that if

he spills the beans,

the Spectre will tear his

face off.

So, if you want to

find out how it ends,

you'll have to come see it in theatres.

We'll see you there.

I am Derek James signing off.

Let's sh**t.

Alright, scene 50, take two.

I'm sorry.

I am too.

I just, umm...

I don't know, I thought

coming out here

would fix us, somehow.

It's just been really hard.

I know.

I thought so too.

And I didn't realize how

hard this was gonna be.

I've missed you.

I love you.

I love you too.

Why don't you turn the camera off,

and come to bed.

Okay.

The f*ck?

Amy, no!!

Derek! Derek! No!

You okay, Lily?

Yeah, I'm okay.

What the f*ck was that?

Mark, Mark, oh my god your feet!

Oh f*ck, oh f*ck.

What the..?

So, is this a joke?

What?

You guys are trying to get

me into the film because..

Ahh! f*ck!

Oh sh*t!

Scott?

Jesus Christ, oh my god, Scott?

Scott?

Mark!

Ah, f*ck!

Ahh!

Lily?

Mark, Mark, Mark.

It's okay, it's okay,

it's just me, it's okay.

What the hell is happening?

What are we gonna do?

I don't know.

She k*lled him, Mark.

She k*lled him.

Oh my god.

What are you doing?

I'm cranking up the iso so I

can see better.

Why do you still have the

stupid thing?

Just put it down!

I think it's the only way you

can see it.

What are you talking about,

see what?

Did you see what happened to Andrew?

His chest exploded.

Yeah, but you didn't see the smoke?

The Demon? The Specter?

Whatever it is.

What the hell are you talking about?

It was there,

I could see it on the camera,

but when it came out of the cabin,

I couldn't see it with my eyes.

What?

And last night,

Amy could see it too,

but I couldn't because she was

looking through the camera.

Jesus, are you sure?

I think it's making us film it.

I think it wants us to

keep the camera rolling.

Are you saying that this

thing is alive or something?

Oh my god.

Shh, Lily.

Just turn the light on!

No, I can't,

it'll draw it right to us.

Then what are we gonna do?

I don't know.

I think we need to try

and make it to the Van.

No, no, no, no, no,

I'm not going back there.

Lily, we have to.

These woods go for miles.

I don't care, I can't go back there.

Okay, okay, stay here,

you stay here,

I'll go to the Van, and

I'll come back for you.

No, Mark, wait!

I'll come back.

Okay, okay, okay, Mark, I'm coming.

Lily? Lily, what happened,

are you okay?

Mark, turn on the light.

Shh.

Mark, turn on the light, please!

Turn on the light Mark!

Oh god!

Lily, be quiet.

Mark! Mark, it's Carl!

Lily please, shh.

Help.

Somebody.

Please help me.

Amy?

Amy!

Mark?

Andrew? Is that you?

Amy!

Hello, oh!

I can hear someone honking.

Please, you have to come find me.

I'm in the woods somewhere,

I don't know.

The camera, I have the other camera.

Oh, go back inside,

find the other wireless mic.

I think I'll be able to hear

you through the camera.

Please, please,

honk twice if you can hear me.

Oh, thank god.

Okay, I'm turning on the camera.

I don't know what happened.

The last thing I remember was

that thing

just coming at me in the room,

and then I just, I woke up,

I'm in the woods,

and I'm just covered in blood.

Where the f*ck?

I think I know where I am!

I think I'm by the lake.

I'm gonna try to get back to

the cabin.

f*ck, where is it!?

Where is it?

Oh sh*t.

Derek.

No, no.

Okay.

Here we go.

Okay.

Come on, come on, work, f*ck.

Oh god, Mark, I'm lost again.

I don't know where I am.

God, where am I?

Scott?

Scott?

Scott?

Oh, oh, I see the house!!

I see the house!

Okay, okay.

Amy?

Amy, can you hear me?

Mark?

Amy?

Amy.

Mark, is that you?

Yeah.

Oh my god, Mark!

I can hear you, oh my god.

Are you okay?

Oh, I don't know, I don't know.

I am so scared.

It's okay, it's okay,

everything's gonna be okay.

What the hell is going on?

Let's just find each other, okay?

Okay, okay.

Where are you?

I don't know.

I think I'm in front of

the house, somewhere.

Okay, good.

I just saw lights.

Meet me at the Van, okay?

Okay.

Where are you?

I don't see you.

I'm at the edge of the woods.

Straight ahead.

Where?

I can see you.

I see your camera light.

Can you see me now?

Is that you?

Yeah.

Yes.

It's me, I'm here.

Okay, stay there,

I'm gonna come get you.

Alright.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, Amy!

Amy!! No!!

Amy, no, no.

Come on, get up, we gotta go.

Come on.

Okay, okay.

Get up, get up, get inside.

Alright, let's go.

You're gonna be okay,

everything's gonna be okay.

Okay? Okay?

Okay, okay, okay.

Amy?

Don't do that.

Amy, please, please don't.

Please don't, Amy!

Amy, no, no.

Amy?

Oh no.

No, no, no, no, no.

God damnit, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no!

Mark.

Mark.

Oh my god, Amy, are you okay?

I don't think so.

I can't get the car started again,

I don't know what to do.

It doesn't matter.

What do you mean?

It doesn't matter anymore.

I need you to do something.

No, I have to get you out of here,

I have to get you help.

Get the camera.

What?

Get the camera.

Amy.

Do it.

Point it at me.

How do I look?

You look beautiful.

I'm sorry.

It's not your fault.

It's not your fault.

I wanted him dead.

I know.

He deserved it.

For everything he

put you through.

And you...

Thank you.

For what?

For coming back for me.

Of course I came back for you.

Of course I came back.

I wish you hadn't.

Why?

I hoped you would remember

the rule.

What?

The one rule of found footage movies.

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.