After the Snowmelt (2024)

[bunniefuu]

Sorry to bother you.

Two friends of mine are hiking in Nepal

and haven't contacted

us for almost 15 days.

So I'd like to inquire about

ways we could reach out for assistance.

I've sent you a photo of my two friends.

The left one is Chun.

The right one is Yueh.

I will send you the details later.

Thank you very much.

Are you there, Yi-Shan?

I'm here at Asian Trekking.

They found them this afternoon.

The boy will be sent to the hospital.

I'll send you my phone number.

I picked up Yueh at the hospital.

He's doing well.

He's started to eat. Lost a lot of weight.

Maybe 20, 30 kilograms.

I told him it was you who'd contacted me.

And he wanted to know

if you made it to India as planned?

As for Chun, I...

Well...

Yueh told me he'd died three days earlier.

Since I thought

it wasn't the right time

to ask Yueh about Chun,

so I didn't press him for details.

Chun,

Yueh brought

all the things you wrote in Nepal

back home with him.

We're here.

I'm going to sleep.

And I received

the letter you wrote me.

Yi-Shan,

I'm not sure if I can survive

and give you this letter.

If possible,

I wish to hand you

this letter in Kathmandu.

But if, unfortunately, Yueh and I

die in this narrow cave we're hiding in,

these lines would, with time,

slowly dissolve into a soggy pile of pulp.

And no one would be able to read them.

But even so,

I still wish to leave something behind.

Xue shui xiao rong de ji jie

aka After the Snowmelt

I'm not here to hike today.

Just rehab.

Come on!

You don't want to camp here?

On the trail?

Do you recall why Chun

didn't want me to read his letter?

We haven't thought it through yet.

What do you mean?

The letter didn't

reflect his final thoughts.

Go on.

Steady now.

Why didn't it reflect his final thoughts?

We were freaking out.

That's all.

I printed it out and brought it along.

What do you think?

Which parts do you think he intended

to tell you and which he perhaps didn't?

There were parts he...

- No. Just...

- Maybe he changed his mind.

- Not his final thoughts.

Why did he want to write to me?

Who else could he write to?

He wrote, "both the past and

the future are painful to talk about."

In some ways, yeah.

How come?

Because they may both be beyond reach.

Something you've lost

but have to talk about.

If we somehow manage to escape,

it is likely that our half-year trip

will come to a premature end.

And we'd entrust you



with the task of traveling.

I miss everything I've experienced in life.

And hope to live on,

to assume the burden of life.

How I wish to speak to you once more.

To go biking together.

To talk about a wonderful quote

or someone we know.

If Yueh and I eventually die,

don't grieve for us too much.

What you need to do is to love.

Don't turn away from love.

Promise me this, will you?

"Chun"

"March 15, 2017"

"To Yi-Shan"

Do you grieve for Chun?

I'm the one who

has the least right to grieve.

Why do you feel that way?

Who would shoulder

all of this if I were sad or upset?

If I sank into sadness,

wouldn't it be like I had died, too?

I feel the same way but I think...

And if I wallow in sorrow,

wouldn't I merely be living in the past?

You don't have to live

in the past to grieve.

But aren't grief and sadness

the definition of living in the past?

If it doesn't seem like

I'm living in the past,

that's because I don't feel sad at all.

Like earlier I said,

not everyone can be as strong as

you are and you replied,

you don't consider yourself to be strong.

You could say that I look strong but...

I think there's

something else supporting me.

So I'm not strong.

Being strong is when you can

rely solely on yourself.

- And you think you're not doing that.

- No.

You're not relying on yourself.

Then what are you relying on?

On what Chun stands for.

And what he wanted us to do.

- So you think...

- I'm not strong.

Because you're not relying on yourself.

Sure, I'm part of this, but...

Yeah.

I also have things I want to do for myself.

Like what?

Plenty. Like deciding

what I want to eat tomorrow.

Do the things you want to do

and the things supporting you...

- They're all connected.

- Come into conflict?

No.

Basically not.

Some people will tell me

to live his share for him.

They are the ones that really get us.

Now it's my turn.

So Chun was one year behind you?

Yes, I had known him by name.

- And...

- And we met in high school.

Sophomore and freshman.

And the two of you bonded

because you shared the same interests.

Yes, same interests and...

Similar perspectives.

Did you go biking with them in India?

No, I went there by myself.

I was supposed to join them in Nepal.

I remember you got seriously?

Yeah. So I came home.

I first went to Thailand,

then to Myanmar and India.

I had planned to go to Nepal,

but I got sick in India.

And since doctors there couldn't help me,

I decided to fly home.

And I was hospitalized for about a week.

Why did the three of you

decide to go on this trip?

What was your motivation?

For me, at the time,

I was convinced that I couldn't

make myself enjoy college. So I wanted to

see the world with my own eyes before

I allow myself to be shaped

by my academic training.

As for Chun, I think it was like

the first time he was

planning his own trip,

so I think he was definitely

more excited than I.

He also really wanted to

become mentally tough

so he'd seek out challenges

to make himself stronger.

We had such thirst to live

like a stream we plunge with resolution.

Learning the speech of muntjacs and bears.

We knit ourselves back with leaves

one stitch at a time.

As though we could but scurry like the mist

drift like pathogens at the bottom of the dale

"A poem by Chun"

Do you recall what Chun was like

in our high school?

He liked to run around the campus.

Sometimes he'd come to

school with a hiking backpack.

And when he arrived,

he hadn't yet changed into

his white uniform shoes.

And he never wore skirts.

And he wore his hair short.

And...

the school would call him in.

And since Chun didn't want to

wear skirts due to his gender identity,

he was required to

provide proof from a psychiatrist

to show that this was indeed the case.

Hello, I'm Chun.

Because I'm giving a report in two days,

I've been preparing

some notes. And it turns out

I have to mention the film The Big Blue.

But I'd much rather

preserve my memory of it

from my sophomore year.

Back then, the film always reminded me of

Yueh and the summer we spent together.

That summer was really important for me.

Why?

That summer was the

beginning of everything.

Everything was incredibly beautiful.

Yes, it was all incredibly beautiful.

I'm thinking about

our high school dormitory. And

about how I always dreamed of Yueh

coming to rescue me from the classroom.

I really miss that summer.

Here, take it.

To sh**t you? With this? Yeah.

Wear it around your neck.

No way. It's too sticky.

sh**t whatever you want.

Doesn't have to be me!

Where's the tripod bag?

The tripod bag!

Under the mattress.

My arms are sore. I'm gonna stop.

Why do I have to pump water for you?

- How does it work?

- You pump water like this.

- Is it hard to use?

- No, not really.

Are we allowed to use it?

- Yes, it's for public use.

- Is it for taking baths?

- Not really.

Just to get yourself cleaned up.

Pack up!

OK!

Let's go!

The Big Blue.

Good?

Chun loved it too.

I read his review.

Well, it is pretty romantic.

765 But it's good.

Time to go.

I think Chun and Yueh always

gave me the impression that...

their very existence was a testament that

it was possible to

choose one's way of life.

I think we were really shaken by

what happened to them

in the mountains. You realized you were

assuming a great risk living like them.

It might cost you your life.

We weren't surprised that Chun

died in the mountains.

It just happened way too soon.

And since Chun also said that

he wished to die in the mountains.

When did he tell you

he wished to die in the mountains?

He didn't tell me. He told you.

He told me? Yeah.

You two wrote about it.

You wrote that "C says

he wants to die in the mountains."

- What?

- You wrote,

"C says he wants to die in the mountains."

- Oh, initials.

- Yeah.

And you said you envied him.

But I don't remember when you wrote it.

It was before he passed away.

I can't carry on like this. I can't

live without C. It has always been

like this. To me, C is someone

whose soul is richer than mine. I always

rediscover what I try so hard to mend

when we spend time together after

long absences. C says he wants to

die in the mountains, I envy him so much.

Are you alright?

The food here never lets

you down, all you can eat!

But we've been trekking

through snowy areas at

around 4000m and reached

the village just yesterday.

We have to hike to the

mountaintop for phone

signal because there's

no reception in the village.

Things keep freezing up. Crazy cold!

OK

And do you think I can handle

the trail you're hiring a guide for?

With full gear?

I might have malaria.

Heading back to Yangon two days

later to see the doctor. If I don't get

well there before I go to India, I

may have to fly home and regroup.

I'm feeling better now. But considering

the altitude and my conditioning,

I don't think I can join the two of you on your

next hike. I can't always push myself

to the limit by admiring you all the

time. I've been reflecting on this a lot

during my travels. I will still arrive in

Nepal on Mar 20. Best wishes to your hike.

Can you text? We've been

searching for a while now If this

message reaches you Text us

something so we know you're safe

Hey?

- Hey!

- What?

The mail carrier tells you to come down.

It's here!

It's from the rescue team!

What is this?

What's that?

A memory card.

Should I watch it now?

Suit yourself.

Wanna watch it together?

Why not?

I'm an outsider.

I won't make any judgements

regarding the rescue mission.

What?

I don't think they should charge more

based on higher success rates

because rescue missions

are either a success or a failure.

Why did they sh**t so many...

You've been here? Yeah.

This is where you camped? Yeah.

- You didn't go this way?

- No.

We took the wrong turn.

Where's this?

I think it's Somdang.

So it was snowing?

Yeah.

Come on! I'm hungry!

Time for lunch!

- What?

- Regarding the pain of others.

Hurry up!

It's going to rain.

Get over here!

Do you still have the things

you wrote in the hospital last year?

What do you mean?

The things you wrote in the hospital.

I threw them away.

- All of them?

- Yeah.

Recycled.

- Nothing left?

- No.

All gone.

Everything must go!

What?

I threw them away.

Gone forever. Never to be found.

You really threw them all away?

Why do you want them? For your film?

What?

Big boy, can you pump the tires

- for Chun's bike, too?

- And?

Adjust it to my height. I want to ride it.

No.

Doctor says we should

go biking this year. Can I use his?

Where to?

Just to Nanliao, of course.

- They can only make it to Nanliao, OK?

- Nanliao. Just get a rental bike.

No way, rental bikes are so heavy.

I can ride his, right?

Just pump them up for me.

Done.

Thank you.

Naptime.

What else should we do now?

Didn't you want to chat?

Fine. Let's chat.

Start chatting.

Come on.

Stop filming.

Why? I don't want to be filmed.

Come on, sit down.

I can't film you?

Alright. But this really is the last time.

Really? No more filming?

Huh? Just for a while.

Never?

Let me think about it.

You go first. What should I say?

What do you want me to say?

- Whatever.

I got nothing to say.

Don't really feel like it now.

That's all.

Tell me about the past year.

What about it?

What about it?

The past is in the past.

Are you going to Nepal?

I don't know.

It depends on who wins the next election.

Stop fooling around!

- I mean it! I really mean it.

You think I'm joking?

Do you still plan on

fulfilling your promise to Chun?

- Like what?

- Burn maps for him?

That was just nonsense.

It doesn't accomplish anything.

Right?

So you've moved on?

You can never really move on.

So you...

Leave it at that.

Just leave it at that.

(Missing Hikers Located

50 Days Later Near Mount Everest)

(Man Rescued, Girlfriend Dead)

(Yueh Returns to Taiwan, Frail and Weak)

(Taiwanese Couple Missing

for 53 Days on Mount Everest)

(Man Rescued, Woman Deceased)

So you're fine with me

traveling alone to Nepal?

What are you planning to do in Nepal?

Interview the people who found you.

I don't know.

What do you mean?

I don't know if it's right

for you to go like this.

For whom?

For me.

How come?

Don't know how to put it.

So what do you want to do?

We can go there together later.

When is that going to be?

I don't know.

And I think,

everything was incredibly beautiful.

Yes, it was all incredibly beautiful.

Well, I should start

talking about my report now.

In addition to the more

apparent threads of the book,

can we begin to imagine

the world from one or two

hundred meters above ground?

When I think about this question, it

only seems natural to be remind of the film

the Big Blue.

Of how

the uncompromising passion

for trees or the sea

could compel someone

to leave the place they love behind.

And they dive into a world

of intense loneliness,

a world that's barely comprehensible,

almost impractical.

And you think, how wonderful

that such a place exists.

A place to go, to enter, to hide.

I'm not talking about

absolute completeness or perfection.

But a place that brings to life

your inner concept of beauty.

Are there any hotels

like yours in this village?

Back then, there was nothing here.

You'd be hard-pressed

to find even a cup of tea.

There were only

farmers and herders, nothing else.

They said they were

traveling for their vacation.

It took them four days

to get here from Trishuli.

I treated them like my children.

I fed them well as I knew

they had a long journey.

Their backpacks were quite heavy.

They had food and

other small things like ladles.

The boy was rather quiet.

But the girl was outspoken.

They were very romantic.

Ate and farted a lot.

They were having a great time.

They stayed here and

went to Tipling the next day.

I walked downhill with them

for a while to show them the way.

I came back and they went uphill.

And the next day

they were celebrating

Women's day in Tipling.

I told them to stay at my place.

I gave them beans and potatoes.

I also gave them spinach

and told them to stay.

That was good.

Have some tea.

They called us mom.

I wished them safe travels.

We did namaste and put khadas on them.

Mom and dad, we're leaving.

Please stay well, they said.

We're between Singla and Pangsang.

It's snowing heavily.

The weather is also pretty bad.

This is the hill beside Singla.

It snowed last night.

There's still some left.

The sky is clear this morning.

I had come downhill.

There was maybe this much snow.

They'd lit a fire in here.

Once the fire was lit, the boy

this side

was sitting on this side like this.

He was sitting like this.

I saw them from up there.

He was sitting like this.

The girl was collecting snow

going back and forth,

back and forth, to melt in a pot.

They stayed in Tipling for

four days before coming here.

I've heard they set up their tent

next to that tree over there.

After setting up the tent,

they probably stayed in it that night.

They must've gone somewhere the next day.

Because the tent wasn't there anymore.

201 It's difficult to

guess whether they

went uphill or downhill

after breaking camp.

The snow would've been

pretty thick if they'd gone uphill.

They should've reached

the village if they'd gone downhill.

There is so much snow.

It's been 18 or 19 days now.

There's still so much snow.

So...

There had been no rain or snow.

The last rain was in September or October.

And the next rain didn't

come until March 9.

It started to rain the

day they set off uphill.

It started snowing.

It was snowing here too.

They packed up their bags from the shed

- and set off again.

- Did they know the way?

No, because the paths along the cliffs were

covered with snow and completely vanished.

So they looked at their map and noticed

they were closer to Merung than Somdang.

So they started walking along the gorge.

They went down one of

the four waterfalls that were there.

After that, they couldn't

descend the next one.

They couldn't find a way down.

If they had tried,

they would've been torn to pieces.

They found a cave there. It's still there.

When they started uphill,

someone must've put khadas on them.

Because there were two khadas tied

to the rock. They might still be there.

The rock is shaped like a pointed nose.

I also left my khada there.

They must've used the khada to climb down.

No, they put it on a rock inside the cave.

The cave they slept

in. It must still be there,

if water has not swept it away.

They took shelter

in the cave starting from the 11th.

I found them on April 26

so they stayed there for nearly 47 days.

March?

Yes, they started staying there

from the night of March 11.

And I rescued them on April 26.

Here, on his face, he had frostbite

that was already starting to heal.

It was scabbing.

The wound has closed.

Yes, the wound has closed.

Lucky man.

Flies had laid eggs on his socks

and some had hatched into maggots.

Maggots!

- On the boy?

- Both of them.

It is said that the girl

wrote a two-or-three-page letter.

Wonder what she wrote?

She wrote down

all her experiences in the letter.

That's what I heard

from the Sherpa rescuer.

This was the girl's.

This was the boy's. I've been wearing it.

This was also the girl's.

That's it.

They probably shared the compass.

Yeah, both of them used it.

Water falling just by the...

by the place they stopped.

Now we are waiting for

the helicopter and the man

bring some food and the drink for the

for the bad boy who survived

after many many days.

It's really really...

hard to believe.

How many days you came to here?

- 47.

- How?

How many days you search for us?

Maybe 15 days something.

15. One-five.

- One-five.

- One-five. Yes.

Pangsang? = Yes.

Many many place, many place.

What did you eat?

You here eat something?

Achar (pickles).

And biscuit.

Chau chau (instant noodles).

But we finish eat at April 1st.

And from April 1st to...

she dies before,

we eat salt.

What should we lay under him?

We don't have anything.

Just put him down gently for now.

You see the cliff there?

The hill gets steeper

right around the cliff.

Once you reach the summit,

there is a forest path

that leads to Mergang.

We have to walk uphill that way.

It's a steep climb near the cliff.

This is the path taken by our ancestors

which the boy and the girl also used.

The road was constructed

just two years ago.

We'll take the same path now.

At that time, I'd heard

about the sudden snowfall.

And as the news spread,

I came to know about the incident too.

People were telling me how

so-and-so happened in my area.

That's how I found out.

The weather here is unpredictable.

You can probably tell

that by experience now.

One moment it was sunny,

the next it was starting to snow. There

might be strong winds and thunderstorms.

Or there might be hailstones, which is

not uncommon at this time of the year.

Snowfall, however,

would be quite surprising now.

Snow can reach more than two meters here.

Strong wind from all four directions

carries a lot of snow to this place.

There's more snow

here than in other places.

The wind blows from all directions,

including from down below

and collects all the snow here.

That was the first time

since I've been here that I've seen

snowfall k*lling the wild boars

in the caves or the Himalayan monals.

11 cows died behind Pangsang.

11 cows in a single shed.

I regardless of the amount of snowfall,

it is not common for wild boars and

Himalayan monals to die due to snowfall.

That was the first time

I've seen such a thing happening.

I will pass it later,

or she will carry this?

Careful.

Maybe this belongs to the tent?

Be careful.

I just found it here.

- I don't know.

- It's alright.

Be careful. Sure sure.

You go slowly down.

You... maybe first you assist the step

and then slowly go down.

First you have to hold tight.

I just finished rereading here

a few passages from

A Sand County Almanac.

I know that's the book

you read frequently in

the cave, during those

last days of your life.

I was reading the passage

you'd once written down:

If all are to survive,

each must ceaselessly

feed and fight, breed and die.

It's from the chapter "Clandeboye."

Another chapter

is called 'Thinking Like a Mountain.

This is also the one I read most often

after you'd left us. It's quite short.

In the last paragraph, it reads:

We all strive for safety, prosperity,

comfort, long life, and dullness.

It all comes to the same thing:

peace in our time.

A measure of success in this

is all well enough, and perhaps

is a requisite to objective thinking,

but too much safety seems to

yield only danger in the long run.

Thoreau said:

In wildness is the salvation of the world.

Perhaps this is the hidden meaning

in the howl of the wolf,

long known among mountains,

but seldom perceived among men.

Sometimes I'd imagine

what it would've felt like

reading this book trapped in the cave.

I wonder if these

passages about the mountains

had made you feel a little better

about being trapped or

had soothed your bodily pain.

But no matter how hard I tried to

imagine your last moments, I could

never arrive at the state you were in.

I thought I could stay here for a few days.

Brought food and overnight equipment.

But when I saw the cave,

I suddenly realized that...

I couldn't do it.

And I realized that

my conceptions of being trapped,

the cave, the mountains, and death

before I came here

were all...

inconsequential I guess.

I can't imagine how hard

those last days would've been for you.

To be trapped in this deep valley and...

The snowfall.

The snow.

The cold and hunger.

Inconceivable.

And it's

impossible for me to stay here any longer.

(Now it's up to the mountains.)

(And even though food is running short, )

(If I still possess the ability to write, )

(It seems as if I can keep death at bay.)

Yi-Shan,

I just realized I don't

really hate our high school.

There are many great things I can remember,

like ditching flag ceremonies

in the breakfast shop.

If I could go there once more,

I would order a huge meal.

If you go there next time,

remember to order scallion pancakes

only when granny is there.

Auntie makes them too soft.

But she makes excellent chocolate toasts.

And the rice milk and Chinese omelets?

Must-haves.

Remember how cold the food was

when we ate outdoors in winter?

School lunch wasn't that bad

if it was still hot.

Writing letters to our friends and Yueh

on the 150-meter-long red clay school yard,

while listening to

Omnipotent Youth Society.

Yueh told me recently that

he really loved the letter I wrote to him.

That day, I was too embarrassed,

so I boarded the train

the minute I handed it to him.

He read it in the station

and wanted to see me again.

He said I was a pure young man.

And he was a shirtless boy.

We were brothers, as well as lovers.

Yi-Shan,

thank you for being in my life.