Wet lips, French kiss
C'est a, that's it
King Kong was a tourist
Brought down by Americans
Empty cars on the bridge
Bulbs out, flip the switch
Slip the officer
a counterfeit
Still burns like Malkovich
City kids
City kids
Sunrise hits
Dream on all you city kids
City kids
City kids
Be my guest
Dream on all you city kids
Mum's word, keep it tight
Old man moonshine
Dump the others
on the yellow line
My darling Valentine
Maxed out, light bright
Young punks with dynamite
Close encounters
of the first kind
Street walking fireflies
City kids
City kids
Sunrise hits
Dream on all you city kids
City kids
City kids
Be my guest
Dream on all you city kids
And now on,
"What the Hell
Happened to Them?"
It's The City Kids.
It's just City Kids, no "the".
Joining us today,
is Laurie Santangelo,
the leader of The City Kids.
So what the hell happened
to The City Kids?
You guys were these
like cool, downtown rockers
with, and I'm gonna quote
from your Wikipedia page here,
although it hasn't
been updated in
about three years.
Quote, "unusual guitar tunings
with street cred in
both the high culture
and low culture worlds."
End quote.
Nothing happened to us.
We're still here.
And where is here?
Here is New York.
It's where we've always been.
We're city kids.
I don't know if
you can really say
"kids" anymore.
Anyway,
Gordon and I got married.
We started a family,
and that's been our
focus for a while.
But we never stopped
making music.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
We just hit 30 listeners
on this stream.
That is awesome.
Hey, if there are any noobs out
there, smash that Subscribe.
We're giving away a free
copy of "In The City",
the album by The City Kids.
Although fair warning,
it was recorded in 1996.
I'm looking through
the comments here
and people think you look great.
For your age.
Thank you.
Yeah, well,
people were worried
that you might've
gotten fat and old.
After all, you were
kind of a style icon
in the '90s, remember?
Ooh, sorry, we gotta go.
I promised to keep these
streams under three minutes.
Next week, what
the hell happened
to those "Too Shy
Shy" hitmakers,
Kajagoogoo!
Remember them?
Bye, Laurie, see ya.
Bye.
Kaja-fricking-googoo.
It's a good song, though.
It is a good song.
Let's do it.
We could occasionally play
something from, I don't know,
the last 30 years or so.
There've been one or two
good songs since the '90s.
Yeah, says you.
All right, B flat minor.
The original's
in E flat minor.
A stickler, all
right, E flat minor.
Two, three, four.
Kajagoogoo
Kajagoogoo
Kajagoogoo
What the hell
happened to you
Oh, are you gonna
pick up Topper?
I ask you to do this
like once a month.
Fine.
We can jam some more
when you get back.
Eh, forget it,
I have homework.
-Hey, Dad?
-Yeah?
You wanna pick up Topper?
No, thank you.
Scuse me while
I kiss this guy.
Heard that one before.
So how'd it go
with the webcast guy?
We have to update
our Wikipedia page.
-Hey, Yasmin.
-Hi, Joey.
Send Topper out please.
You know, I've been
meaning to ask you.
Topper is an unusual name.
Yeah, it is.
So what is it?
Some kind of family name?
Have you ever
heard of The Clash?
Their leaders were Joe
Strummer and Mick Jones.
That's why I'm Joey
and my sister's Mickey.
Uh-huh.
My parents never really
expected to have a third kid.
And then, well,
this guy showed up.
The Clash's drummer's
name was Topper Headon.
Not on
their first album.
Topper only became the drummer
on "Give 'em Enough Rope."
That's true.
Joey, Mickey.
Meeting.
Come on, girls.
Family meeting time.
I wish we didn't have to have
these dumb family meetings.
They're only dumb if
you think they're dumb.
Then they're dumb.
I don't think they're...
Okay, let's just
talk about what worked
and what didn't work this week.
I can tell you
what didn't work.
This meeting.
Put away the teenage
cynicism for a little bit.
You know, we agreed to do this
as a family.
-Daddy, I'm tired.
Okay, fine.
We'll just postpone
till tomorrow, right?
We'll start a
little bit earlier.
-Mm-hmm.
-Right before dinner, okay?
Okay.
Okay?
Did you brush your teeth?
Maybe.
Why does it always
feel like we're losing?
Because there's one
more of them than us.
They're on the power play.
We're just trying
to k*ll the penalty.
A hockey metaphor, nice.
Yeah, well, you
marry a Minnesota girl,
you're gonna get
a hockey metaphor.
Dad, can
you tell us a story?
Okay.
I'm coming.
In a white room
with black curtains
near a station,
silver horses
ran down moonbeams,
How you doing over there?
I'm fine.
I think I'll go to sleep too.
Do you want a story?
No, I'm good.
I'm sorry I yelled at you.
I'm sorry I was an
obnoxious teenager.
You remind me so
much of your mother.
Do you know that she was
only a couple years older
than you are now when we met?
I ever tell you that story?
The one where she
was in the warmup band
and she stole you from
the headlining band?
No, never heard it.
She was such a badass.
Still is.
I know, Dad.
All right.
Goodnight, sweetheart.
Oh, Dad,
can you turn the stars on
for me on your way out?
Yeah, sure.
Ah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Oh.
Um.
Okay.
Hmm, never heard that before.
Guess it's still working.
Goodnight.
Night.
Where am I?
What's going on?
Peas and carrots.
I'm sorry, what'd you say?
Peas and carrots,
peas and carrots.
I don't know what's
wrong with you.
Peas and carrots.
Peas and carrots.
Peas and carrots.
Okay, that's good.
I had the strangest
dream last night.
Really?
Freud would say that dreams
represent our deepest wishes,
what our conscious mind
has learned to repress.
Okay, we're gonna
try that again.
I'm gonna say, "I had the
strangest dream last night"
and then you're gonna
say, "What was it?"
I had the strangest
dream last night.
Uh.
What was it?
Yeah, what was it?
Thank you so much
for asking, Nick.
I dreamt that I woke up
and then I walked
into the hallway
and I was in this bizarre place
and someone was just
spouting nonsense at me.
So you dreamt
you were in school?
That was actually funny,
I'm so proud of you.
Who else was in the dream?
Freud would say that
would be important.
Nobody, I mean, well,
nobody that I knew.
Hmm, well, Freud would say.
What is with all
the Freud stuff?
My mom's been talking a
lot about Freud recently.
And that is not
at all weird, is it?
Anyway, if there are
strangers in your dream
that actually might reflect
how you feel about
people in your real life.
So that random teenage
girl spouting nonsense at me
might actually represent you.
Is the only reason
we walk together
so you can make fun of me?
No, it's not the only reason.
It's the main reason though.
Hey, come listen
to this track.
I think it works now.
Yeah,
I like it, it's good.
I'm not going for "good".
The record label won't
be interested in "good".
Okay, it's great.
I don't think I'm
capable of great.
Never was.
You wrote the best parts
of all of our songs.
You are capable of great.
You're a great mom,
you're a great wife,
and you're absolutely
a great musician.
Well, two out of
three ain't bad.
I'm crying bicycles
instead of tears.
How do you guys manage to have
a misheard song lyric
for every occasion?
The kids want a story.
Saturday in the park
I think it was the 4th of July.
No, Dad, not another story
about Saturday in the park.
Okay,
There was someone named Martha.
And she was actually a dog.
Heard it.
There once was a girl
named Jenny, and...
And her phone
number was 867-5309?
Heard it.
There was once a
girl named Cloaca
and one day she...
- Dad?
- What?
Her name is...Cloaca?
Yes, the girl's
name is Cloaca.
I'm not saying this
to make you upset,
but that's really
not a good name.
Okay, her name
was...Phlebotomy.
-Phlebotomy?
-Come on, Dad.
Okay,
her name
was Roxanne.
Roxanne's a nice name.
And Roxanne loved lights.
She loved blue lights
and green lights
and yellow lights
but most of all,
she loved red lights.
And whenever she could,
she would put on her red light.
Peas and carrots.
Peas and carrots?
Peas and carrots.
Peas and carrots!
Peas and carrots.
-Peas and carrots.
-Peas and carrots?
Peas and carrots.
Peas and carrots.
Peas and carrots.
-Do you guys know...
-Rhubarb.
Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb.
Why are you saying that?
Rhubarb, rhubarb.
-I just want to...
-Rhubarb, rhubarb.
Okay, that's fine.
Hey.
Hey, where were
you this morning?
You didn't get my text?
Yeah, but by then it
was too late to walk.
I had to get my parents
to call me an Uber.
I think it's weird your
parents won't let you call
your own Uber.
I think it's weird
that your parents...
Finishing that sentence
is a very, very bad idea.
Sorry, I had another
weird dream last night.
I had trouble falling
back to sleep.
People were spouting
nonsense at me.
They were just talking about...
food.
Food?
Yeah, food.
Well Freud would..I
mean, a person might say
you must have a complicated
relationship with food.
How do you feel about
yourself after you eat?
What?
I feel fine, that's a
ridiculous question.
I'm not the one having
nightmares about food.
I'm not having
nightmares about...
whatever.
Let's go get a bubble tea.
Hmm, interesting,
you want to get food.
I'm kidding, okay, lighten up.
Fine, but don't you
have to ask your parents
-if you can have bubble tea?
-Come on.
I'm kidding, lighten up.
Hold me close now, Tony Danza.
You want dinner?
Nah, I had pizza at school.
That's how they bribe
us into not getting mad
at the stupid questions
the parents ask.
I thought there were
no stupid questions.
You're right, there
are no stupid questions.
Just stupid people
who ask questions.
How's it coming?
Why am I still doing this?
Because it's who you are.
No, if I stopped playing,
I would still be me.
Just like you didn't
become a different person
when you started teaching.
But you're still
into it, right?
I don't know.
Knowing that people
are going to judge it
compare it to something
we did decades ago
when we didn't know
anything about anything.
You heard from the label.
Well, they suck.
20 years ago, I would not
have cared what they thought
because it was just fun.
And it's not anymore?
When we play together, it is.
And when we play with the kids,
it's really fun.
But otherwise...
You know, I think the main
reason I kept going was
so that they could see
me being productive.
But now
I think it's time to stop.
Can somebody help?
Does anybody know CPR?
I got this, step back please.
The excitement must
have gotten to her.
It'd be a shame if she
missed what's coming.
And that's a cut.
Okay, what the hell was that?
-Wha...
-Woody, we're getting
some weirdness from the new
mics when we turn them off
so we're just gonna leave
'em on for the time being.
Whatever, man, mics
are your problem.
My problem is extras
that start talking.
I was just...
Don't you do anything like
that ever again, you hear me?
Not on my set.
Get back there.
Look,
we all want a line.
You just gotta
keep doing your job
and hopefully, one day you
get your chance to shine.
That's why we're here, right?
So we're
all
in a movie?
Barely.
They're in a movie.
We're just background.
So we're...extras?
Well, for now,
but who knows what the
future holds, right?
Okay, so Bobby actually
liked the additional line.
So the new dialogue is,
"Can somebody help?
Does anybody know CPR?"
Okay, we're gonna have to
bump up one of the extras.
Who wants to audition?
I do.
I do.
All right, get on her
so that Bobby can judge.
Right,
okay.
And action.
Can somebody help?
Does anybody know CPR?
Okay, that's good.
But Bobby thinks it's better
if the two lines are said
by two different people.
So you're gonna
say the first one.
And who would like to
audition for the second one?
I can do it.
Bobby's already seen you do
that line, so...that's fine.
Wardrobe, get her into something
that doesn't make her disappear.
Come with me.
Try this.
Behind the curtain.
Gorgeous.
Um.
Sound,
wire her up.
-Hi.
-Hi.
I'm going to attach this.
Rook, don't use the old Lavs.
We spent the bucks on
the new ones, use them.
Well, I figured because...
Stop figuring
and start wiring.
Today's the day we
try them all out.
Okay.
okay, so I'm going to start
by attaching this
transmitter to your waist.
Okay.
What is that?
Oh, it's a wireless microphone
and you are getting
the latest and greatest
in technology.
There, okay, great.
And you can just keep that on
until we need to
change the batteries.
Okay.
-What happens if...
-Okay.
Now that you're
featured background,
you have to spend some
time with the tutor.
You're featured
background now?
Um, I guess.
You look like you got
shocked or something.
Is your Lav okay?
My Lav?
The mic.
Oh.
Hey, that's on.
Please don't touch it.
Sorry.
How is it that she got
miced up instead of one of us?
She doesn't even
know what a Lav is.
That's enough.
Now, who can solve
problem number six, hmm?
Aren't we done yet?
20 more minutes,
those are the rules.
I'm going to need those two.
Okay, but they're
going to have to make up
the 20 minutes later or
I'll have to file a report.
Come on.
Kneel there please.
Hi.
Please don't
talk to the leads.
All right, roll sound.
Speed.
Scene 29, Charlie, take two.
Hit it.
- Action!
- Can somebody help?
Oh, we should try CPR.
I got this, step back, please.
The excitement must
have gotten to her.
It'd be a shame if she
missed what's coming.
Alright, let's keep rolling.
Don't cut, please.
We've only got a couple
minutes to lunch.
Let's roll right into another.
Script!
Can somebody help?
Does anybody know CPR?
Does anybody know CPR?
I don't know what
Bobby sees in you.
And
action!
Can somebody help?
Does anybody know CPR?
I got this, step back, please.
The excitement must
have gotten to her.
It'd be a shame if she
missed what's coming.
Okay, that's
lunch, everybody cut.
What is it that's coming?
-Nick?
-Yeah.
Do you ever imagine that
your life was a movie?
Sure, especially when
something big happens.
It feels like it's
not even real.
It feels like you're in a movie.
Okay, well, what if your
whole life was a movie,
but you were just an extra?
How could you be an extra in
a movie about your own life?
That doesn't make sense.
No, the movie
wouldn't be about you.
You'd just be background.
Because that's what's been
happening to me every night.
You're telling me every night
you've been dreaming that
you're in a movie? As an extra?
Yeah, well, I mean,
it must be a dream,
but it just doesn't
feel like a dream.
You're lying in your bed
at night, it's a dream.
A weird dream.
Freud would have a
field day with this.
But I don't remember
going to sleep last night.
I don't even
remember lying down.
It's late at
night, you're tired.
You probably don't
remember everything.
But it feels like I'm
being transported somewhere.
Like it's me.
It's not me dreaming.
Okay, well,
I've heard that during a dream,
if you recognize
that you're dreaming,
you can wake yourself up.
So if you go back to
that same place again,
just say, "Wake up!"
See what happens.
Hey guys.
Hi, Daddy.
Top, can you go
get your sisters?
We need to have
a family meeting.
Mickey, Joey, family meeting.
Okay, I don't think that's
exactly what he meant.
Okay,
who wants to share
first about their day?
Aiden kicked me
today during recess.
And then Mr. Mike
told him to stop.
But he said that Noah did it
and then Noah started to cry.
-Yeah.
-And said that Max
took his markers
and then Chris...
Top, Top, that sounds
like an amazing story,
but maybe you can tell
me the whole thing later?
Okay.
Mickey, how was your day?
It was fine.
Okay, Jo?
Yeah.
How was
your day at school?
It was fine.
Good.
Laur?
Okay, sure.
I wanted to
talk to you guys
about something.
Um,
I have decided to stop...
-Hey, Mom?
Yeah?
Sorry.
Um,
I want to form a band.
What?
I want the three of us
to form a band.
What about me?
I want to be in the band.
No way I'm gonna be in
a band with a 13-year-old.
I bet Mom and Dad would
want me in the band.
-They don't.
-Wait, what band?
My band. With you guys.
That's a fun idea.
But what do you want to be,
like The Partridge Family?
No.
Who's The
Partridge Family?
Oh, they were a
band that only existed
because of their TV show.
Kind of like The Monkees.
I love The Monkees.
Of course you do,
because we're good parents
and we raised you well.
Joey, I don't know.
If you don't let
me in the band,
I will make your
life a living hell.
You're not gonna
be in the band
We'll see about that.
Look,
we love playing together, right?
So you know,
the only difference would be
that now we're just doing it
for other people.
Well, how would you feel
about sharing the stage with us?
I mean, you're a teenager,
we're your parents.
Well, you guys are less
embarrassing than most parents.
Mom, you were about my age
when you formed your
first band, right?
So maybe it's time for me
to be in my first band.
Look, we have our instruments
and you guys can sing
lead, I'll sing backup.
I don't know, Joey.
Your Dad and I,
people think of us
in a certain way.
Oh, come on.
You know what your problem is?
She's always late.
She can't cook
macaroni and cheese.
She thinks nine
minus five is three.
Hey, you promised
not to say anything!
No, your problem is
that you care too much
about what other people think.
Everybody cares about
what other people think.
No, no, Mickey, do you care
about what other people think?
Not really.
See, there, learn
from your 13-year-old.
Be a rock star again.
Okay, if we're
gonna be a band.
Okay.
Then the best voice
should sing lead.
Oh yeah.
I mean, this is your idea.
It's your time to shine, kiddo.
Show the world what you can do.
Are you ready?
Hey, what are you doing?
Working on your mic, like
I said five seconds ago.
Oh.
Yeah, there's
this weird glitch
when we turn them on or off.
It's our first time using them.
They can hear me, right?
Yeah.
Hello?
Can you hear me?
What is wrong with you?
Sorry.
How do these mics work?
They work by magic.
We just have to remember
to sprinkle fairy dust
on them every morning.
You're not gonna understand.
Try me.
Fine, they work with
a quantum resonance.
The idea is that the
quantum vibrations enable
sound to pass through
clothing better,
get us a cleaner signal.
But they're not
working correctly.
Tell you what, how about
you let us worry about audio
and you can worry
about backgrounding.
-Hey, Rook.
-Hmm?
What do you do when
you're not on set?
Oh, well, I'm a PA.
I'm never not on set.
Do you have a life
outside of work?
Got a family?
No, I'm a robot.
What kind of question is that?
This is a dream.
Wake up, wake up.
It's just a dream.
Wake up!
Still hearing you!
Sorry.
You owe me 20 minutes.
Hi, I'm Jezebel.
I love your necklace,
it's so cute.
I wish I could pull off
a necklace like that,
but green doesn't really
work with my skin tone.
Honey, could you just
focus on your work?
Why do we have to do
this and they don't?
Because
they're all 25, honey.
I wish I was 25.
How does that look?
Oh, hey, I'm sorry.
I'm Dylan.
Joey.
Hey Joey.
Sorry again for being rude.
You weren't rude.
Very good, you can
go on to the next problem.
I just realized I didn't
quite finish my work.
Hey, do we ever study
physics, or maybe philosophy?
A little, why do you ask?
I have a question.
Maybe it's a physics question,
maybe it's a
philosophy question.
Okay.
How do we know
our world is real?
What?
How do we know that this
isn't all just a dream?
Maybe I'm dreaming
this whole thing.
Well, I know you're not
dreaming this whole thing
because I'm here.
In her dream, that's
exactly what you'd say.
Is it possible
that there could be
more than one real world?
Scientists have
discussed the possibility
of alternate universes.
Of course, another theory
is that we're all just living
in a simulation.
A computer simulation.
Once computers get
powerful enough,
they'll be able to
simulate an entire world.
And once they can, people will
create lots of simulations.
So everyone living in those
worlds will be in a simulation,
although they won't know it.
Okay, Bobby has decided
that you are going to
be in the next scene.
- Hey, great, congrats!
- Congrats!
Yeah, congrats.
Um..Sorry, wait, um,
who exactly is Bobby?
Are you serious?
Well,
Bobby is the director.
Bobby's the one who just
gave you a speaking part
for some reason.
Shouldn't the
director be here?
So that over there is
called Video Village.
The director and the
rest of the crew watch
from there so they can see
exactly what the camera sees.
Bobby could come
over if there was
something important to tell us.
Has that ever happened?
Not that I can remember.
But Woody gets instructions
from the director
via his walkie and
relays it to us.
Okay.
Well, is Bobby nice?
I wouldn't know.
You've never met the director?
Look, I just say the
words I'm supposed to say.
That's my job.
We all play our parts
and it's the director's
job to make sure
everything fits together
the way it's supposed to.
All right, let's go, come on.
We need to get you
into something a
little less backgroundy.
Go see wardrobe.
So that means I'll
have to take my Lav off?
Yeah, you can't
change with a mic on.
Hey Woody, how do
I get more lines?
You want more lines?
Well, why don't you just
blurt out random things.
It's worked for you so far.
Really?
No, please do not do that.
Look, if Bobby thinks
you deserve more lines,
you'll get more lines, okay?
Cut the Lav, please.
Thanks, Lee.
I can't tell you how
much we appreciate this.
Just don't steal any
more of our tunings.
I can't promise that.
All set, Joey?
Yeah, hey Mom.
- Hi.
- Where's Dad?
Oh, he got hung up at school.
He should be here
in a few minutes.
If these guys are
gonna be in the room,
just keep the volume
under control.
That's not very
rock and roll, Lee.
The City Kids are telling
me about rock and roll.
Sorry, I meant City
Kids, not The City Kids.
What are they doing here?
If we're going to
do this as a family,
let's do it as a family.
-But.
-Don't worry,
they're gonna be unobtrusive.
Unobtrusive, have
you ever met her?
Let's just do this, yeah?
But shouldn't I
be on keyboards?
No, Mickey's gonna
be on keyboards.
You just focus on the vocals.
But,
fine.
Sorry.
That was kind of fire, though.
Sorry.
Let's work on the new song.
Does everybody
remember how it goes?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
What do I do?
You're gonna be our
dancer, okay. Top?
Okay, here we go.
We're gonna start out slow.
Two, three, four.
That's an F sharp, Mickey.
That A is suspended.
Mom, I told you.
D diminished seventh.
What's a diminished?
Just play the octave, Mickey.
I need a minute
For a moment there, I
thought she was gonna smash it.
That would've
been kind of cool.
Yeah, it would've.
What's up, rockers?
No, no!
Top, Mick, right to bed.
Don't I have to
brush my teeth?
No, you can miss a day.
Yay.
Jo, you do story
time tonight, okay?
Dad, they're gonna complain.
My stories aren't
as good as yours.
Hey kids, get your PJs on.
Jo's doing story time.
- No!
- No!
Do your best, hmm?
Fine.
I remember why
the band broke up.
Why?
Because I'm such a b...
No, you didn't
break up the band.
The band broke up because Stu
didn't want to tour anymore.
You are a strong person
who has opinions.
You care about
what you're doing.
It's why I fell
in love with you.
Although tonight, you're
were being a bit of a b...
Okay,
don't say it.
Did you know that
Stu's a plastic surgeon
in Beverly Hills now?
-Really?
-Mm-hmm.
Maybe I should
go to med school.
You might want to work
on your bedside manner.
-What?
-That should be yes.
You can do anything.
Yeah, you could be a doctor.
-Oh?
-Yeah, I can see that.
I'll operate on you.
Tell me a story.
Why?
You've made it pretty clear
you don't like my stories.
Just tell one.
Please?
Please.
Fine, okay.
Once upon a time,
there was a mermaid
who climbed on a unicorn
and rode it over a rainbow.
The end.
That story was zero.
That's an unstory.
You know what?
I've got other things
to do besides just tell
my annoying little
siblings stories.
Can you turn on
the stars, please?
Sure, because I have
nothing better to do
than whatever my...
I don't think
that's a good idea.
I didn't ask you if
it was a good idea.
I asked you to turn it on.
Mickey, could you
come down here please?
Why?
Just come down here, okay?
It's important.
Fine.
Okay, now just stand
right there, okay?
Just give it a second,
something's gonna happen.
What are we waiting for?
I don't know, maybe
nothing's going to happen.
There, do you see that?!
See what?
The...
Mickey walk through
it, will you?
Walk through what?
Walk through the,
just walk through the doorway.
Fine, then can I go to bed?
Yes, just walk
through the doorway.
Is this good enough?
No, keep going.
Huh?
I hope you enjoyed that.
I'm nervous about
what's coming.
I'm nervous about what's coming.
You're supposed to say, "I'm
nervous about what's coming."
-What?
-I know, me too.
Okay, people, we
can handle this.
It's our differences
that make us strong.
Whatever that means.
That's a cut on rehearsal.
All right, we're
ready for picture.
That is, of course,
if our friend here can
remember her one line.
Well, maybe she could phrase
it a little differently.
No onset rewrites please.
All right, picture is up
and roll sound.
- Speed.
29 Charlie, take two.
You know, maybe it'll
be a good thing, you know?
We have to be
prepared for anything.
Um, I'm nervous
about what's coming.
Listen people,
we can handle this.
Our differences make us strong.
And that's a cut.
Everybody stay close,
we're gonna go again.
Can you get her to
stay on her mark, please?
I doubt it.
All right, Bobby says
you should just...
be yourself?
Can I adjust your mic?
Sure.
-Rook?
-Yeah?
Have you ever met Bobby?
Nope.
You've never met the director?
Well, I don't work
for the director.
I work for the boom operator
who works for the sound guy
who works for the director.
Chain of command.
Rook, are we
sure Bobby exists?
What kind of question is that?
Well, no one's ever met Bobby.
Isn't that kind of weird?
Maybe Woody's just
making Bobby up.
Are you saying
there's no director?
That's ridiculous.
We're not all out here
just flailing away.
There's somebody in charge.
Even if you've
never met that person?
Somebody is judging whether
we're doing a good job or not.
Otherwise, what's the point?
Look, I know you're insecure,
but have some faith.
Do what Bobby said.
Be yourself.
What are you doing?
We're about to roll.
Oh, great, we need to break.
All right, k*ll
everything, that's lunch.
What was I just doing?
Um,
eating breakfast?
Have I been acting
weird this morning?
Are you okay?
Mickey, what
happened last night?
What do you mean?
What happened before
you went to bed?
You told me to go into
the hallway for a second
so you could make fun of me.
And what happened after that?
Then you went into the
hallway for a second,
came back and went to bed.
I went to bed?
No, you went flying out
the window with Peter Pan.
Honey,
what's wrong?
Nothing.
I just, I might be home a
little late from school today.
You sure you don't want to
go to your science teacher?
You're in the advanced class.
Your teacher will be smarter.
That's not how it works.
I also don't want my
teacher to think I'm crazy.
Yeah, but I don't want my
teacher to think that I'm...
Hi, Nick.
Hi, Nick's friend.
Hi, Ms. Washington.
This is Joey Wethersby.
She wanted to ask you something.
Oh, hi, I know you.
You tried out for the
volleyball team last year,
although you didn't know
how to play volleyball.
Yeah, I thought it'd
be fun to be on a team.
And Coach Stella told
me that you tried out
for the basketball
team this year
although you also didn't
know how to play basketball.
Same deal, yeah.
Stupid coaches.
No offense.
Anyway, I wanted to ask you
about alternate realities.
Nick said you talked
about them one time.
Well, I probably did.
My doctoral work
was in that field.
Okay, that's great
because I need to know
how to get back and
forth between realities.
I'll tell you
what, Joey Wethersby,
I'll email you some links
that you can look over
and after you've
read them and done
a decade's worth of research
into quantum physics,
we can have another
conversation.
How does that sound?
Okay, bye-bye now.
No, no, no.
Yes, yes, yes.
I have something to show you.
Is it a "Star Trek" box set?
Because I have a feeling
it's a "Star Trek" box set.
Just let me show you, please.
Fine, but if it's a "Star
Trek" box set, I get to keep it.
Oh no, see,
that's astrophysics,
that's not my specialty.
Please.
Okay, it probably
won't even work.
You know, "it probably
won't even work"
does not exactly
inspire confidence.
Pretty please.
Nick said you were nice.
There's something
out of phase in there.
You need to...
You can see that.
Thank God.
We don't normally use
the G word in
physics class, but,
oh my God.
What are you
guys talking about?
Wait, you don't see that?
I see a few dull
stars on the wall,
but that's not,
like, OMG worthy.
HuYou know, my sister
couldn't see it either.
But you can.
I sure can.
See what?
You want to try
to go through it?
I most certainly do not
want to try to go through it.
Not until you've
told me everything.
And turn it off!
I don't want to disrupt
the fabric of the universe.
Yet.
Do you have a class right now?
-Yes.
-Not anymore.
Start talking.
Wait, I need an
iced matcha latte.
Come with me. And start talking.
-It kind of started when...
-Talk faster.
It started when my dad
dropped it, and then it broke.
Wow, you guys are really
making me feel pointless.
So why can't Nick see it?
And why couldn't my
sister go through?
And how can I still be here
while I'm also over there?
Well, regarding
Nick and your sister,
the quantum resonance
might only work
in people whose brains have
a compatible
configuration of proteins.
Forget I asked.
But then you must have a...
Compatible
configuration of proteins.
Maybe.
But you can see it.
I can see it.
And you can go through.
-Maybe.
-You say maybe a lot.
Welcome to physics.
So what happens next?
Wait, wait.
Nick, giveme your keys.
Put these in your pocket.
Why?
Just a little experiment.
Oh.
Hey, Nick.
And you're Ms...
-Ms. Washington.
-Right.
You teach...
-I teach physics.
-Right, physics.
That sounds hard.
Yeah.
Okay, well, I'm gonna go home
and watch some
Twitch or something.
Joey, it's school time.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I guess I'll go to class then.
Can you keep an eye on
her for the rest of the day?
-Uh-huh.
-Oh, Joey?
Mm.
Do you have anything
in your pockets?
Huh.
-Those are Nick's.
-Oh.
-Nick's.
-Oh, sorry.
Thanks.
I'll see you later,
Ms., uh,
Ms. Washington.
Yeah, right.
Physics, cool.
Maybe.
Come on.
What?
Bobby wants to see you.
Bobby wants to see me?
That was the first believable
line you delivered all day.
Come on.
Good luck.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
You'll have to wait a minute.
Bobby's 10-1.
What's 10-1?
Bathroom.
So you guys go
to the bathroom.
What is wrong with you?
Hello, Joey.
Hi, oh, you must be Bobby.
I am, short for Roberta.
You're not surprised.
-Why would I be?
-That's good.
Times have changed.
Joey,
what kind of part do you want?
I get to choose?
No, I choose,
but I am asking, what
kind of part do you want?
Well, I want to be
a lead, obviously.
Really?
I mean, I don't want to take
anybody else's part, but...
But you'd like for me
to give you a lead role,
put you in the
center of the action?
Then act like it.
Things are gonna start
moving a lot quicker
and you've gotta
be ready for it.
I have been taking
it easy on you
because you're new around here.
But where exactly is
here?
You're not back in
that boring old world
where there are cloudy days
and sometimes you
don't feel so great.
You are making movies.
You're from the
other world, too.
I started as an
extra, like you,
and it took me a lot
longer to become featured
because I didn't have
someone looking out for me
like you do.
You're welcome.
Eventually, I became
one of the leads.
And then when the old
director stepped down,
I knew I was ready
for the big chair.
But you, you can't even
say one line right.
And I think the reason is
because you keep going
back to that old world.
Leave it behind.
It's much better here.
But don't you
miss the real world?
"Real world",
what does that mean?
This place is just as real.
Don't you miss
where you came from?
I was a hemp dealer
in Saskatchewan, so no.
Besides, I think another me
is still living that life.
Or maybe it's the
same me, I don't know.
Anyway, the problem will be
solved for you very soon.
Have you noticed every
time you go back,
something changes?
Yeah.
Every time I come over here,
more time passes over there.
Exactly.
Those time jumps are going
to speed up exponentially.
A few more visits, and
years will pass back there
every time you come here.
Now, you could stop coming here,
but people don't do that.
Movies are addictive.
All right, get outta here.
I've got a movie to make.
Actually, I've got a
bunch of movies to make.
What do you mean?
You'll see. Everything
is about to change.
Hey, Woody?
-Yeah.
-Do you think
you could get me a script?
I guess you didn't hear,
there's no script anymore.
What do you mean?
I have to get back.
-Nick?
-Yeah, TikTok's pretty rad.
Can we just get to school now?
No. Nick.
You're back?
Thank God.
So what do we do now?
-Ms. Washington.
-Ms. Washington.
I was only over there
for a few minutes.
Well, time isn't parallel.
You've probably
noticed that before.
She said this would happen.
Who?
So what happened to
me when I went through?
Well, you were
here the whole time,
except it wasn't really you.
Yeah, it was like
you on autopilot.
Like...zombie Joey.
So when I go over there,
that Joey comes over here.
No, that's too direct.
You're thinking binary,
this is quantum.
Maybe every time
you go over there,
a new Joey is created
to take your place here.
What happens to that
new Joey when I come back?
I don't know.
You know, zombie Joey reminded
me of a lot of my students.
You don't think?
I am not going to speculate.
What do we do now?
This thing is dangerous.
We should turn it
over to somebody.
-Shut up, Nick.
-Yeah, shut up Nick.
I have an idea to
fix the time issue
to make less time pass here.
What is it?
If we add additional mass,
it could create a
time dilation effect.
Okay,
what does that mean?
It means
I'm going with you, if I can.
Okay.
-Now?
-No, I don't know
how long we'll be
there and I can't have
zombie Ms. Washington
teaching my classes.
-Saturday morning?
-Okay.
Okay.
-Go back to class.
-Right, okay.
That is the fakest
thing I have ever seen.
I gotta rock the 'stache if
we're playing the song, right?
I don't know that you do.
Did you download the drum
track like I asked you to?
Yes, actually I did.
Well, do you know it?
'Cause, you know, Dad and I,
we can help you sing lead
the first time through.
Mm-hmm.
I'm ready.
All
right, let's hear it.
Okay.
Wet lips, French kiss
C'est ca, that's it
King Kong was a tourist
Brought down by Americans
Empty bus on the bridge
Bulbs out, flip the switch
Pass it over like
a counterfeit
Still burns like Malkovich
City kids
City kids
Sunrise hits
Dream on all you city kids
City kids
City kids
Be my guest
Dream on all you city kids
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
That was pretty good.
You know what I'm gonna
say to you though, right?
-I have to project more.
-Mm-hmm.
Why didn't I ever think of
a better rhyme for counterfeit
than Malkovich?
Mom, can I sing
on the chorus too?
Yeah, you
can join me on my part.
-Do you know it?
-Lit!
All right, let's sing
the chorus together then
in two, three.
City kids
City kids
Sunrise hits
Dream on all you city kids.
Whoa, wait, that's beautiful.
I love your voice.
You've got a beautiful voice
but can you just bring it down
just a scooch, just
a little bit, okay?
For the blend.
You know, that mustache,
it's really working for you.
Yeah, you like the 'stache?
All right.
Well, let's try this from
the top, okay, ready?
A one, two, three.
Oh, Joey, this came for you.
Oh, thanks Mom.
What is it?
Um, it's a present.
It's a present for what?
For...Easter.
Since when are kids
giving presents for Easter?
Dylan, why would
you put a c*ck
down Mr. Schmidt's pants?
Uh, I don't know.
'Cause I thought it'd be funny.
Funny, don't you mean dumb?
Okay, where is
that coming from?
Hold the roll, please.
Look, we're almost done
with this part, okay?
Could you just manage
not to ruin things
for, like, a minute?
Where is that
laughter coming from?
Uh, the studio audience.
Yeah, yeah, the
studio audience.
And that's a green screen, okay.
All right, let's pick
it up from where we were.
And
action.
Hey kids, this is Marta.
She's our new exchange
student from Hungary.
Well, you know, Hungary
is in a different time zone
so it's already tomorrow there.
That was supposed to be funny?
How do you all know Hungarian?
Oh, I just picked it up.
You're so small,
I could pick you up.
What are those?
What?
The words.
Well,
not everybody knows Hungarian.
I mean, we do, but...
That's fine, relight!
I thought Hungary was
lame but you are even lamer.
See you at the dance
later, right, Dylan?
S-s-sure,
d-d-definitely.
What's happening here,
is everything okay?
It's fine, Ms. Galloway.
Jezebel was just
insulting immigrants
and then she threw
her food at me.
She wants to waste food rather
than give it to poor people.
That doesn't even make any...
Jezebel, in this country,
we don't make fun of
people who are different.
We accept them.
B-b-but Ms. Galloway.
No buts, Dylan.
You of all people
should understand that.
She said "no buts"!
Oh, by the way, you sound
more Russian than Hungarian.
Oh, the girl who can't
remember her one line is
an expert on accents now.
Cut it!
Hi, honey.
You look much better.
How are you feeling?
-Okay.
-Good.
You didn't seem
like yourself there.
After three days, I
was starting to worry.
Three days?
Let's do it now.
I need your help or I
think I'm gonna go crazy.
-Why?
-Weird things have
been happening over there.
Weirder than usual.
Well, I thought we were
going to do this tomorrow.
It's Friday afternoon,
school's over.
Let's do it now.
I was going to
grade quizzes tonight,
although I suppose that
would be a good job
for zombie Ms. Washington.
Okay.
Do you have the..you do.
-Ready?
-I really don't know.
Wait, it's 3:25.
Let's remember that.
3:25, got it.
A tangible
connection between us
will make it more likely
that I get through.
Dylan cannot know.
Promise me you won't tell him.
Tell him what?
You can't tell
him that I'm dying.
You're dying?
If I only have
two months left,
I want to spend it with him
and I want his
love, not his pity.
I'm nauseous again.
It's the chemo.
Wait for me?
I need to tell you
something. Something important.
I have a rare heart condition.
I'm afraid it's always fatal.
The doctors say I only
have a few weeks left.
Please, please
don't say anything.
I'm just happy that
a nice girl like her
could fall for a jock
from the wrong side
of the tracks like me.
But I don't want her to
have to watch me fade away.
So I'm going to leave.
And once I'm gone, you
can tell her the truth
and tell her
I'm sorry.
Hey Jude
No, that's
the wrong song.
We can't afford that, cut!
Whoa.
Yeah.
What was with that music
and where was it coming from?
I have no idea.
And what's with the
vegetable fixation?
Oh, that's just the extras.
The main actors talk normally.
Oh.
It's 3:26, only
one minute passed.
It worked!
That's great.
So what do we do next?
I have no idea,
but I want to go back.
-Now?
-Why not?
But I want to see if I can
go through without you.
If I don't come back right away,
you might have to come
back in and get me, okay?
But if I go alone, won't
I lose a lot of time here?
No, the time dilation
effect should have
reset your proteins.
In theory.
In theory?
Are you sure this
is a good idea?
I'm a teacher, Joey.
All my ideas are good ideas.
Take out your next lesson,
class, and follow the prompts.
Wake up, Leo.
Stop playing video games, Max.
Look, one of us is going
to have to go outside
and get the walkie talkie.
We have to get help,
it's our only chance.
-I'll go.
-No, you can't.
The zombies have an
enhanced sense of smell
and your body wash
is too powerful.
Dove Men + Care.
It's fantastic.
Manly, but not offputting.
Anyway, I'll go.
No, you washed your hair
last night, I can tell.
You can?
Dove Purify & Strengthen.
I love the gentle scent.
Oh, I'm supposed
to go outside?
Where the zombies are?
No one's forcing you.
You should only
go if you want to.
I could rub some dirt
in my hair and do it.
It's my fault, I'll go.
If I hadn't brought back that
cursed amulet from Hungary,
this never would have happened.
I'll go.
Oh no, no, we're
minor characters.
We're definitely zombie bait.
It's okay.
You gotta be willing
to be eaten a few times
if you want to move up.
If you say so.
I hope it's on camera.
I love a good death scene.
I'll miss you.
Joey,
it's just a movie.
Well, that was no fun!
I was trapped in a closet,
and then a zombie came...
Who is that?
Cut!
Zombie Ms. Washington
is disgusting.
What was she like?
Like most teachers.
Oh no.
Yeah.
Hey,
Mr. Tangerine Man,
your daughter wants to see you.
Let me guess, Mickey
wants a keyboard solo.
No, other daughter.
Oh.
What, now?
Yeah, now.
Okay.
-Hey, Dad.
-Hey.
-Dad.
-Hmm?
Would you be zombie bait if
it meant having a bigger part?
Are you doing drugs?
No.
Good, because don't do drugs.
I probably should have
mentioned that earlier.
-Dad.
-Hmm?
Who's the most important
person in a band?
Everyone's
important in a band.
That's why it's a band.
Dad, that was a
rhetorical question.
Everyone knows who the most
important person in a band is.
What's your point?
My point is
not everyone's a lead singer.
Jo,
you're a beautiful singer.
You've got a better voice
than Mom or I ever had.
But being a lead singer
is not just about being able
to hit the notes.
It's about having
a certain attitude,
being a fearless
performer, you know?
And being willing to be
eaten a few times.
I hope that's a metaphor.
Sort of.
Anyway,
you and Mom were
both lead singers.
That's what made
your band so special.
Well, the other guys
were important too.
I know. That's
exactly my point.
So, what, you don't want
to be in the band anymore?
No, I love being in the band,
but
I want to do what
I was born to do.
Okay.
But Mom and I don't
want to be lead singers.
We just don't have
that attitude anymore.
It's okay.
You don't have to.
You passed it on.
Okay.
-Goodnight, kiddo.
-Goodnight.
Oh, Dad?
-Yeah?
-Can you turn on
the stars on your way out?
Sure.
- Dad.
- Hmm?
You don't notice
anything unusual, do you?
No.
Why, should I?
No.
Guess not.
All right.
Goodnight.
I don't know.
Part of me thinks that
I should just accept
that I'll never be head
of the debate team.
Mm.
And yet,
part of me thinks
that I just need to.
Shape.
Oh boy.
My
Destiny
Shape my destiny
Shape my destiny
Shape my destiny
You gotta make your path
Do what you want to do
Don't ever look back
And you will make it through
Shape my destiny
-Shape my destiny
-It's a musical.
What are you doing here?
I don't know, I guess
you bring me with you now.
I hope you weren't
doing anything important.
I was on a date, but he
probably won't even notice.
Create my destiny
Escape my destiny
Change my destiny
Make my destiny
Keep everything rolling.
We'll get some behind
the scenes footage.
Bobby.
Great job everybody.
I'm proud of all of you.
You can relax.
I knew you had it in you.
Thanks.
So you think you're
ready to take on a lead?
Next movie is about two
girls on a road trip
and their wacky adventures.
So, first of all,
I live in New York,
so I don't know how to drive.
Honey, we can fake that.
Second, and
I don't want to seem ungrateful,
but
I think I like being an extra.
Is that okay?
We're all making
this movie together.
Without all of us,
there is no movie.
You know, I am going to need
someone to take over from me
at some point.
It's gotta be someone who
understands the big picture.
I know somebody perfect.
Ms. Washington,
want to go over
to Video Village,
-watch with me?
-Yes, yes I do.
I think I'm going to pay
a visit to Saskatchewan.
It's been a while since
I've seen any clouds.
Okay, go. And remember
peas and carrots.
Yeah, I've been meaning
to ask, what's up with that?
It's what extras mouth
to make it look like
they're talking.
Peas and carrots, peas and
carrots, peas and carrots.
Oh, that's good.
Except in England.
They say "rhubarb" there.
So you're going
to be background.
Yup.
Okay,
Well, you know what to do.
Make us look good.
I can do that?
Well, you can definitely
make us look bad.
Places, everyone.
Roll camera.
And
action!
Rhubarb.
Rhubarb, rhubarb, rhubarb.
Peas and carrots?
Rhubarb, rhubarb.
Peas and carrots,
peas and carrots.
Rhubarb.
I'm nervous.
I am so nervous.
Is it normal to be
this nervous, Mom?
Honey, you're either
nervous or you're dead.
-Okay.
-I'm not nervous.
You are so weird.
Dad, that's it,
I'm taking this off.
No! Hands off the 'stache!
It's our good luck charm.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we're here to have some fun.
Who here remembers
The City Kids?
No "the",
it's just City Kids!
You're probably here because
you remember The City Kids.
Hell, you're probably here
because you were friends
with The City Kids.
City Kids,
no "the", City Kids.
It doesn't matter.
There's no more City Kids.
Instead, we've got City Family!
It's actually
"The City Family".
The City Family!
All right!
Hello, East Village.
How are you feeling tonight?
Are you feeling good?
Yeah.
All right, this is gonna be fun.
Joey, take us in.
Sorry.
We, uh, we changed the key.
Sometimes we laugh
Sometimes we cry
As we sail across
the Hudson's
Starry city sky
Life can be surprising
And we are full of dreams
Even when you
think you're lonely
It's not as it may seem
Weathering the tide,
Weathering the tide
We will not devide,
We will not divide
Singing side by side
In perfect harmony
We are family
We are family
We are family
We are family
We are family
You know if you
want to be free
You gotta keep
it in the family
You know if you
want to be free
You've got to join
The City Family
You know if you
want to be free
You gotta keep
it in the family
We're a happy family
Me, Mickey, Topper,
Mom and Daddy
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
This road trip will
probably be boring.
Yeah, it probably will be.
And that's a cut.
Great, Mary and Jez, so...
All right guys,
let's cut there please.
Really, really good,
thank you very much.
I want to go to the 65.
So, listen, I think it's better
if you walk out
after Jezebel exits.
Is
Bobby being too aggressive?
Because I could dial
it back if you want.
No, no, I think
you're doing great.
-Thanks.
-Yeah, no worries.
So am I doing this right?
Is that how they do it?
I really don't think anyone
will notice the difference.
-Okay, cool.
-I think you're okay.
Thanks.
All right, let's go again!
What?
Sometimes we laugh
Sometimes we cry
As we sail across
the Hudson's
Starry city sky
Life can be surprising
And we are full of dreams
Even when you
think you're lonely
It's not as it may seem
Weathering the tide,
Weathering the tide
We will not divide,
We will not divide
Singing side by side
In perfect harmony
We are family
We are family
We are family
We are family
We are family
You know if you
want to be free
You gotta keep
it in the family
You know if you
want to be free
You've got to join
the City Family
You know if you
want to be free
You gotta keep
it in the family
We're a happy family
Me, Mickey, Topper,
Mom and Daddy
And that ladies and
gentlemen is a wrap.
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Peas and Carrots (2024)
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